We have done lots of embarrassing and hilarious posts that one would thin we would run out of but embarrassing and hilarious things happen every day...And we have new BVs who might have new stories....
The most entertaining story wins a star prize...
Can you make us laugh with your hilarious story or shock us with your embarrassing story?
Oya let's go
ReplyDeleteMine was one cold rainy afternoon I and my friend walked in on my aunt and her hubby making love in their sitting room. I was so embarrassed. I lived with them, they forgot to lock the door, left it ajar, aunty was at the top riding away, breasts flying in the air and the hubby was at the bottom squeezing face like a vampire and grunting. We just walked out quietly and closed the door
DeleteKwakwakwakwakwa
DeleteChild of grace or evil shild, you re not nice
Vampire face was enjoying the ride
@child of grace did they know you saw them? What happened afterwards. Your description though 🤣
Delete@Chikito
DeleteNa this kin fork tori you go dey fish for. Wetin you wan make e happen again; say them come back come join the ride?
She talk say, them leave lock door, yo wan know wetin come happen afterwards?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteMost embarrassing moment of my life was so terrible I lost consciousness for 2days.. Lol
ReplyDelete2017 I was gonna defend my project in front of my lecturers an course mates,I was so tensed ehhn, hadn't done something like that all my life, I use to escape class presentations back then buh there was no room for escape this time
KrytiQ blah blah come to the stage, my dear Stella and Bvs as I was just about to standup all tensed up and scared something more daring happened guess.... Prapraaaapupuuu, OMG!I messed ooh! and to think everywhere was quiet like a graveyard, what happened later should be left untold...
Hahahhahaaha
DeleteHehehehehehe
Na real tension 😂😂😂😂😂
Lol, comman finish this story joor
DeleteLol. I vote for you @krytiQ
DeleteI vote for you
Delete😃
Delete😂😂🤣🤣 u have my vote o
DeleteMy most embarrassing moment has to be when I was 'falling' (or whatever that was) from an escalator.
ReplyDeleteWe were doing one of our mini tours and I didn't know when I mistakenly leaned on the rail (the glass part, dunno what it's called). I sha know u are not supposed to lean on that side as it slides backwards.
Na so d thing pull me backwards, me, my box that I was holding and boo that was standing beside me started doing jangilover.
It took a while for him to finally steady us. It wasn't funny at all. Felt really embarrassed and I'm sure if he was another kind of person, I would have embarrassed him greatly as I also dragged him into my fall.
Lol...
DeleteSpreads mat here to read.. With popcorn
ReplyDeleteI inserted vaginal tabs in my privates, I forgot to wash it the following day, on getting to boos house, we did d deed and it was messy, he just asked me if I have not taken my bath for 2 days, I was so ashamed n explained, he just called me a dirty woman, that's how calls reduced and ended.
ReplyDeleteDirty indeed, fornication is always dirty, always.
DeleteHope you have stopped giving your "privates" to lascivious men. It suppose to be your private not public.
DeleteYou didn't take your bath the next day? Or you did but didn't wash your lady parts?.
DeleteEwww
Didn't you take your bathe before going to see le'boo??
DeleteYou didn't urinate all the while the tab was in you??
At least doing any of the two would've made you wash down below.
Pele 😂😂
Jeez I am embarrassed on ur behalf! Sorry.. BTW what is vagina tab and what is it used for?
DeleteHope you have worked on your hygiene?
It depends on the vagina tab,some are for treating infections, some for stopping vagina itching etc
DeleteWhat are vaginal tabs biko?
DeleteYou see all the Pharisees up there?
DeleteThem no sabi wetin vaginal tab be but them sabi wetin dildo be?
Hypocrites. Vaginal tabs na paracetamol you hear.
Not your fault jare!!! Nigga is a douche bag.
DeleteMy doctor told me that you are not supposed to wash the dissolved pessaries out. You are supposed to let your body absorb it and expel the excesses. Which is why you should be on panty liners, steadily when using pessaries. And even if you dont put your finger in to wash up (cos not everyone does) it dissolves until theres nothing left in there.
So why would your boo call you dirty girl as a result? Was your vjay smelling? Dont women use these things always? He is an idiot! So what if you forgot to clean up prior to? Does that disqualify all the other good qualities you have? That guy is an idiot!! Tell him chikito said so.... pussy hunters everywhere!!
Thanks anon 17.05....😘😘😘
DeleteDrink honey anon 18.23 😝😝😝
@Chikito
DeleteYou talk like professional true true. The "idiot" no go hunt pussy, na pussy go im house to hunt horse(band). "Idiot" dey im lane, your disciple come insert tablet for pussy, carry her two left legs enter idiot house come open smelly tohtoh for am. No be "idiot" dey fork idiot? You don ever see where goat dey fork dog?
You guys got it completely wrong. And yet, you’re are shaming her even with y’all ignorance.
DeleteVaginal tab goes in the vagina and you are NOT supposed to put your fingers IN your vagina to wash it out.
Though you aren’t supposed to have sex while using it but that boy was equally ignorant and so so wrong for calling you dirty. Of course, the drug will seep out in whitish discharge over days and if you have sex, it will come out and even cling to his peen.
Sigh.. people are so ignorant..
Anyways, my dear girl. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You aren’t dirty. No amount of washing cleans the tab that has disintegrated inside( and you aren’t supposed to anyways)
Pls stay away from boys who bring down your self esteem. And don’t have sex while on medications
Your boyfriend is a retard..a backward maluuuuu...dirty indeed. Don't wash out d tablet but u for no go bang knowing you are on vaginal tablets.
DeleteAnon 14:24... you're not a dirty girl, just know that when a man is tired of a relationship, he looks for the most trival thing to hook his exit ticket to...he can claim that your good morning didn't come with a courtesy 😑.
DeleteTankio Chikky.
DeleteHe’s really a douche bag!!!!
Nope you dont wash vaginal pessaries. It comes out to the exterior and some gets absorbed. Just stay off sex when next you insert a vaginal pesaary. You are just fine.
DeleteWaiting for gist mbok!
ReplyDeleteBoring Sunday
Ok here goes mine.
ReplyDeleteI visited a friend in the hospital, at some point, i had to quickly use the toilet. After emptying my bowel, i tried to flush the toilet but the shit refused to go down, and you know how some toilet water takes time to fill the tank before you flush again. I flushed the 2nd one no way, by this time someone was already knocking on the door for me to come out so she can use the toilet. I have apperently wasted so much time due to the time i had to wait for water to come up. Oh boy i did not know what next to do. I just summoned courage open the door and walked out with my first straight as a ruler, i did not look back.
P.S. The toilet got that filled up coz before i use public toilets, i always cover the toilet with enough tissue paper, this is to minimize contracting any infection from it.
Lolz...
DeleteHahaha
DeleteI went to see my boyfriend, wore high heels sling back, walked majestically into his area, I wanted to pepper the girls in his area that had been giving me attitude since I started visiting at home, when it was time for me to go, I locked hands with him while he escorted me, when we came close to a group of girls, I let go of his arm, and wanted to shake my small yansh and pass, that’s how the my leg turned to snake o, it started to shake anyhow, the girls started laughing and pointing at me, my boyfriend held my hand to keep me from falling, my leg wobbled till I got a bike..I wanted the ground to open up to swallow me
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha Hahahahaha
DeleteHarmattan wind bad.
ReplyDeleteNa so if you come live for north, you go sabi say una dey jolly for southern Naija during harmattan. The kin wind wey go dey blow, you think say them dey carry ice bulala flog you. If you say you get akpu obi, carry hand put inside water.
Na so we dey bus stop during service year. You go always know "copa shun girls" no hidjab na. This one come get "long hair, long lashes, long nails, long nyansh and the other one -everything come just dey long". As the wind just dey warm up small small dey reach im peak, the girl dey struggle with all her long things. First the thing carry wig go, her lashes come dey dangle. Na so the girl pick race pursue her "fine hair" o.
My friend been dey call her make she leave the thing come take scalf tie her hair, for where.
When bus come land, the girl no show. I know say liver and shame no gree am return.
She go wait make that generation enter bus finish before she go return.
If I'm in her shoes, I will pursue it and disappear.
Delete😁
The most embarrassing and hilarious moment of Corper D with whom I served in Oharisi Secondary School,Ughelli.
ReplyDeleteCorper D is a DUDUREWA (Black Beauty) with a well endowed body.Her Chelsea (Bust) and Barca (Bum Bum) are in the right proportion, infact she is a full Arsenal.
Corper D wore her NYSC Uniform on her first day to the school. She was walking majestically with her posting letter in hand. Her NYSC uniform especially the trouser revealed her endowment. As she walked, some notorious male students behind her shouted " Corper na wa you get yansh o, see your yansh", everyone around started laughing,she was so embarrassed that she had to walk by the side .
This year, it was some female students who walked behind her and started singing"All I want is your waist". She was so angry, she turned back and warned them,they apologized.
She reported to a senior staff who told her to report to the principal since she can identify the students but she declined since the students already apologized to her and promised not to do it again
Wat is more embarrassing than being married and living single yet husband lives in d same town. Always exonerating himself as d perfect man, uses u as a sex tool dats d only time u get intimate yet u can't leave bcoz ur financially dependent
ReplyDeleteYou really need to sort out Your life and be happy. It's okay to be financially dependent now, but what steps are you taking to get out of the situation? Find a job or learn a trade, save like your life depends on it.
DeleteAs you progress, do the things that makes you happy. It's your life not his. If he doesn't want to be with you, it's okay. So many single ladies are out there and are happy. If you must be with someone, then get a divorce and remarry.
The reason you feel being used as a sex tool by your husband is because you are craving for more.
You want companionship, you want to spend your life with someone that cares and that is totally okay. It shows you are 100% human.
Speak to him. Let him know how you feel and what you want in life. If he can't fill the void, then it's just a matter of time before you guys part ways.
I wish you all the best and pray he meets your needs because these men are funny. Sometimes they don't know how badly you are hurting until you speak up.
So speak.
Same story every day
DeleteWell d day I fell inside gutter nd guys were watching football match opposite d place.I was doing shakara cos most of dem were staring at me, in my mind I be fyn babe,i was ontop of d world cos many of my admirers were there,d next thing I found myself inside gutter chai,I felt like burying myself inside there.some of dem helped me up nd said sorry ,some said sorry nd still laughing....some dat asked me out which I refused were laughing ontop of there voices,instead of me to go back home nd change,shame no gree me not knowing dat my skirt has torn very bad I continued with my journey,people were just stirring at me, it was a friend dat called me and told me dat my skirt was really torn apart or is it d style,dat was when I looked at myself very well and begged my friend to go home with me cos I couldn't bare d shame on my own,she laughed out loud and said ok.dis happened 7yrs ago or more
ReplyDeleteAnonymous11 November 2018 at 15:02
Delete"stirring [sic.] at me?"
"bare [sic.]the shame?"
I was STARING at all you wrote up there and couldn't BEAR the laughter.
Why you come fall enter gutter na?
Stirring at you? Odinma
DeleteLol dat was hilarious
DeleteAnonymous sic
DeleteHahahaha
This happened in my 100level days. A lecturer had this inaugural lecture at the departmental hall. I had a running stomach that day and I didn't want to go but the lecturer made attendance compulsory so I had to go. We got there and when the VC was about to enter they asked us all to keep quiet and stand up to welcome him
ReplyDeleteMy people, na so I throw way this mess (fart from above), it was smelly and loud that even shame catch me and the worst part; the VC was beside me passing, then one of his bodyguards (I guess because they followed him that day) took my hand and led me outside and was like "sister, inu yin bu" (meaning, sister your stomach is dirty)
While walking out, I heard whispers
Na wa o, she's the one, she's not the one, sister Yi buru o (I. E this sister is wicked o)
It felt like I had stolen something in the market square that day and was being persecuted. It was that day I knew village people existed.
NB: hall wasn't all that big as it was a departmental lecture.
Everyone had totally forgotten this incident (or so I thought) until someone brought it up again on the group chat this past week.
Forgive typos and punctuations errors abeg.
"running [sic.] stomach?"
DeleteOkay summarily tell us which other thing was running?
Did you have a RUNNY nose too?
Lol @ inu yin bu 😅😅😅
DeleteHilarious
DeleteMy never to forget embarrassing moment. Mmmmm, Some years ago. My hubby gifted me a G-string. Being my first use, I launched it on my booty. I needed to use the rest room so I rushed in and because my body felt so free as though I wasn't putting on anything, I quickly sat down on the toilet seat and started to pee. Before I realized myself, I had already done it on my body. Thank God I was home. The hilarious laughter from my husband no be here oo. Since then that incident always come to my mind anytime I bring out a G-string to put on 🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteWe relocated to one of these western states recently. So we just started worshipping in one Pentecostal church in our neighborhood. There's this neighbour of ours that worships in the same church with us...my hubby on the other hand doesn't like going to church,he'd Rather sit at home and press his phone till we come back from church... So after the service today, my pastor came visiting our neighbour, our over sabi neighbour carry pastor come our house and hubby was in the sitting room eating. Hubby ran immediately he heard their voice and asked me to lie to a man of God..chai!! When pastor came in, he asked after Oga, I lied to him that Oga was not around.. my neighbour cut in immediately "I thought I heard his voice not quite long ago".. Then my daughter ran out from the bedroom and was like" my daddy is inside eating...well, na so I sit down dey look pastor like mumu.
ReplyDeleteLol...ehya sorry o what did the pastor say na?
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteOversabi neighbour every where
Na to change church be that o. No time. Lol
DeleteNa to change church be the solution o. Lol
DeleteHahaha hahahahahaha. Very embarrassing
DeleteLol... Jesus!
DeleteHilarious! I can just imagine as you will throway face!
DeleteOMG!
DeleteLMAO 😁😀😀
DeleteLaughing..
DeleteMine was in jss3,my pad fell off and landed on the ground, a boy walked up to me and said I should pick it,I started crying that it wasn't mine,one woman selling oranges at the opposite side shouted at the boy to leave me,so I left.
ReplyDeleteI got home and I told my mum,she shouted ye!and landed me one hit slap and I took her there,she was searching for my pad and I joined her in the search,the orange seller asked us what we were looking for and my mum said I lost her money and she should mind her business but unknown to my mum the orange seller knew, after 15mins the orange seller approached my mum with a black nylon bag and told my mum about the pad and her plan to disposed it off properly .
My mum was so embarrassed, she took it and thanked the woman,we were leaving and the orange seller asked us if we have found the missing MONEY?
See shame on our faces
This is really embarrassing.
DeleteEyaaaaa.
DeleteChai Africans.....so she slapped you cos someone will use your pad for juju?
DeleteThis remind me of last ileya when I followed my fiancee to the village to celebrate, in the middle of the night, I felt something very cold around my leg, I adjusted to the other side I felt it at my back again ( wore a short soft night-gown) , I started wondering where water was coming tru, meanwhile its not a water but a long unharmed baby snake crawling around my body, I shouted n my fiancee woke up gt a turning stick to kill it, they killed one without knowing one had already escape inside b4 we set to sleep at dat same night.. Infact I felt irritated as I am typing..
ReplyDeleteDo u mean harmless snake???
DeleteHaaaa... I feel for you sis.I HATE snakes ehn 😭😭😭
DeleteHis village people came to greet their wifey. Scary shit. I thank God for u o.
DeleteHis village people came to greet their beautiful wifey. Scary shit! Thank God for u o.
Deletefiancee [sic.]
DeleteYou been wan marry woman?
You sure say no be ya FIANCE people wey no like you come to scare you off?
Hahahahahaha funny bvs. They changed to snakes and came to greet their new wife
DeleteLol Hehehehhee , @Joy yea but couldn't sleep for some days but am over it
DeleteUnharmed snake😂😂😂
Delete...wait o,no be preeq this geh dey talk about @ harmless baby snake?
Delete"stirring [sic.] at me?"
ReplyDelete"bare [sic.]the shame?"
I was STARING at all you wrote up there and couldn't BEAR the laughter.
Why you come fall enter gutter na?
Embarrassing moment!! During my higher institution days. I had a distant aunty that is a non academic staff of my school. At the beginning of every semester. My parents will pay in money into her account to give me only when she feels l need it. It was like that for two years. I will meet her from time to time to collect money when l need it. On this particular day. I went to collect money from her but she did not come to work. I decided to use my last N100.00 to visit her at home and collect money. When l got to her house, she told me l did not tell her l was coming so she did not go to bank and had no money with her. Jesus!!. I don't have any kobo with me in the hostel. What do l do. I needed money badly. I don't even have transport to go back to school. I decided to call a man who has been on my case for so long to ask him to send recharge cards so that l can sell them and get quick money. I begged the woman for her phone and she gave me. I dialed the number. Put it on my ear. The person picked and said. Baby am here. I shouted. Where?. Do you know who is calling. He said haba baby am inside nah. I was angry already that the woman did not give me money and this man is talking rubbish.I got angry the more. Shouted at him and told him why l called. Lo and behold the man came out to the parlour where we were wearing boxers. WHAT!!!!!!.He is my aunt husband. He came for holiday. Aunt did not go to work the previous day because the hubby came to visit. And this man has been on my case for more than a year. He never mentioned he was married. I knew Aunty is married but have never seen her husband before. The phone fall out of my hand and broke. I was shaking seriously. Who send me. See how everyone was looking at me like movie. My mouth was open without a word coming out. I went dumb. God knows how l managed to leave that house that day. Jesus!. I trekked that day tire. God sent someone that picked me in my confused state on the road and dropped me in school. For a week l did not attend class. I did not eat for days. Haaa. I could not tell anyone what happened. My friends thought l saw spirits or something possessed me. Even the thought of it till date gives me goose pimples.
ReplyDeleteDid aunty know he was asking you out? 😏
DeleteI shake bumbum for ds ur story o. U 4got to say where u met him. Online abi where?
DeleteAnd his name ddnt appear on your aunty's phone, or she ddnt save her hubby's nos
DeleteI met him during my mums sisters wedding in Aba. He stays in Aba while I was schooling in another state too far from Aba.
DeleteThis happened about 14years ago. I Can't remember if there was any ATM then.
Immediately l keyed in the number. I put the phone on my ear. I never imagined my aunty will know the person. The consciousness to check what appeared on the screen was not there. I just dialed. Straight to the ear. Waited for him to pick and started talking. I insulted him for calling me baby and my aunty and her friend were busy laughing till the drama unfolded.
Your auntie was laughing, meaning she supports the philandering horseband?
DeleteI come confuse o.
Are u people daft? Is English that hard? Her Aunty was laughing till her husband showed up in the sitting room...mumu
DeleteI think my most embarrassing moment was when I was in secondary school, I was in green house and we were not many in our house, that how our house master say every one must participate he na said I should come and run, me ANA run for where I was chubby and I haven't run in ages I said no, but my house master said I must ran oh, ok I said no problem I enter the pitch as they say ready, go I started running with my big body I haven't even reach halfway everybody don reach finish line na so one of my classmates starts to dey laugh I wanted to die, ANA who told you ran he was saying. I was so angry I told my house master to let me run again he said no he already know I can't run na so I parra me wey dey ran anyhow when I small I told him I wasn't ready before and he should let me run, that how I start the second race and when they said ready and go before I move two steps I saw myself looking into the sky and everybody was gathering around me how far ANA are you ok, Kia I wanted to die especially when my gown raised and my underwear wey don tear small was expose my house master kuku carried to to a chair I had dislocation from the fall if you see crying that day eh I was weeping, you will think it because of my leg, I wish it was because of my tear tear underwear wey everbody see and too say my crush was even among them. Lesson learnt always wear good underwear and also don't do something you know you can't do just jejely sitdown.
ReplyDeleteThis one you dey ran [sic.] with ya big body?
DeleteANA make you no ran again o. Make you RUN you hear?
You can also run it in all man language like I dey do.
Gbagaun corrector., you're on duty today??
DeleteYou cracked me up. I had to read out to my mum.
Delete😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteMy most embarrassing day. I am a member of the Prayer department in my church and I lead prayer meetings. Normally, we sit behind the pastors and silently speak in tounges throughout the service. On this particular day, I decided to sitin the middle of the church, but on the front row of some seats which has a walk way right infront of it. I was just trying to prevent ladies that dress provocatively from distracting the pastor.
ReplyDeleteAll of a sudden, while the pastor was preaching, a pretty lady stood up and started manifesting. Telling the pastor to shut up else she will come and slap him. This is something that has never happened in my 7years of attending the church. I guess everyone was shocked. The pastor kept on preaching with the hope that the pastors will handle it. He basically struggled as he continued with the sermon. I was looking around for all my prayer warriors and pastors. Everybody stayed put. Then the lady began to approach the pulpit. I was angry, scared and confused all at the same time.
The moment she got to my sit. She stopped looked at me and smiled. She said ' you are wearing shoes like my father's'. My God!I wanted to pretend it wasn't me she was referring to. In a twinkle of an eye she grabbed my feet saying'these are like my father's shoes''I love you'.
Stella.... I died and arose as all the mumu ushers were looking at the display before they later grabbed her away.
My husband was in church, my MIL, all my department members.
After the service, I just went straight to the car.
Incomplete gist. What happened afterwards? Was she possessed?
DeleteLade pls nau don't do this to me. Complete this gist.
DeleteLol @Windsor,the ushers took the possessed lady away. I sat down but was just praying for the service to be over. The jist filled the church for a couple of weeks, I maintained a low profile but my husband felt so sorry for the negative news flying. People said all sorts. I just maintained a low profile during prayer meetings and stopped vigils too. U know most times church workers are worse than normal members. Mtchewww...
DeleteI just felt really bad that day. Who knows if the lady was a lunatic sef.
For days I couldn't pray at home. I felt like 'why me?' The yorubas will say 'ojo buruku, esu gbomimu' meaning the devil came out to drink water.
DeleteMy most embarrassing moment...I used to be a slip on shoes kinda girl but on this faithful day,le boo and I had this party to attend and I promised myself I was going to slay a 100 percent...I went to the market and got this wedge high heels,not knowing my village people were ready to embarrass themselves..In the D-day,I dressed up and the party was holding at an event centre close to my house.Husband said we should trek as there was no point taking the car as the street was jammed up,na so I start this waka.I have not gotten to the event centre when my legs began to shake,I was just shaking and my legs were bending ...I was humiliated,some thugs who were outside the centre started laughing at me. Some said,aunty shey ka fun yi ni slippers wa? I jejely sat down near a woman selling provisions and covered my face,my husband had to call the driver who was at home to bring me a slippers...Since then,I just jump and pass high heels...
ReplyDeleteYou did not obey the commandment that says 'always have a sandal or slipper in your bag when on heels'.
Deleteexactly and when you are four steps close to the entrance of the occasion you put on your heels...you kan dey use heels dey trek..maka why?that na hazardous punishment na..u want make your toes develop blisters.
DeleteAnother of my embarrassing moment was when I went to visit a friend I was waiting in the busstop when I saw this guy checking me out, anytime I turn he will be staring, for my mind I be fine girl I continue to dey wait, only for him to walk up to me, me thinking he want to toast I just ignore him he said hi, I said hello, he said eh sorry oh but I want to ask you something, in my mind I thought it was my number I just said point blank that I am not interested that I have a boyfriend, guyman just look me somehow and said I didn't ask whether you have a boyfriend I just wanted to say your makeup is messy why don't don't you fix it or remove it, gham in front of people around and he left, I quickly carried mirror and check my face was a mess because of sweat some of my make up in some part of my face have cleaned off, my eyeshadow was was also a mess I wanted to die I just look ground waka comot from there enter bus to my place and take a long shower from there on I don't wear too much makeup and when guys is staring at me I always self consciously look at the mirrow to see my reflection before thinking they are checking me out.
ReplyDeleteDon't mind the stupid guy. He wanted to ask you out, you rejected him, he said those things to hurt you. Very childish of him.
DeleteThis was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. That was in my SS2 class.
ReplyDeleteI joined the school as a new student in SS1. It was all this tush and ajebo school. Prior to joining the school,I attended a local school.
I joined the new school with all my gbaguns and 'locality'. If I open my mouth to make a sentence, everyone bursts to laugh. Has, see me oo. I can't come and die. I cried most days and nights because I was made jest of and had no friends. But one day it hit me that I can change things.
So I worked extra hard. I watched, listened, learned. U don't say a word without first checking it out on my head many time. I spoke less and only spoke when spoken to. I was doing well. Less jest followed.
Days turned to months and months to years. I began to feel among. I had friends. I could speak without being laughed at. I was living the dream. Pheww!! Life was so awesome.
I took it a step up by speaking like I was born in London. I saw it first hand when I was on holiday and I went out with my elder sister, lo and behold this girl started speaking as if she just land Nija to a toaster. I smiled to myself.
So by my SS2 2nd term,everyone has forgotten who I was,the girl that 'broke' grammer anyhow in SS1. I was asked many times if I was born or breed in London innit.Lmao
So it happened by my SS3, I was amongst the most bright and sort after senior. I was living the dream. So one day during our English Language class, a girl Ifeoma who sat directly in front of me took my pen. I did not see her take it but she had no pen before the class began. I used my eyes to search out the pen with her. She was fast mehn. Ifeoma has already bitten off the cover of the pen, in fact divided it into two so it will be unrecognized by the owner. But I knew my pen.
So I started poking her from behind to hand over my pen to me. She refused. After sometime,she turned and warned me sternly that she would report me to the teacher if I disturbed her further. I taught it was a joke.
Ifeoma raised her hand almost immediately and drew the teachers attention to her. She told the teacher that I have being disturbing her. The teacher asked that I stand up. I thought she wanted to ask what the problem was but alas she asked that I pick my book and read aloud to the whole class.
OMG! I died and woke up. Me? Read? I asked her. She answered in the affirmative. Haa! My Village people have finally caught up with me. I have never read aloud before in that school. Haaa, I am dead today. I carried my book but could not pronunce even 'Is'. I could not read one sentence fluently. I was stuttering to the amazement of my classmates. I tried saying 'plate' like 'prrr..prrr, like forever. Haaaa!
After awhile, the teacher asked that I sit down after insulting the living light out of me. I cried, I wept. Me, London babe, disgraced in front of everyone. Even one girl I dey form for. Chaii. I cried all through the class and even throughout the day. I was so ashamed of me. Something I could read with my eyes closed that I could not even make it past one sentence.
Anyway, the day ended. The Ifeoma returned the pen after tounge lashing from classmates with plenty 'eyaa' and laughter. For months, I was made jest of. My nickname even became 'erm.. erm'
Guess what guys! I still rose above my shame and graduated 'Miss Phonetics of the year'.
Moral of the story
You can be anything you want to be if you believe.
Anon SIC, ngwanu over to u.
DeleteYou just dey yarn off point. Abeg I no wan headache this afternoon o.
DeleteI'm happy for you.
DeleteMine happened when I and my husband wanted to meet for the first time which was after our wedding.
ReplyDeleteI have a big navel, as in very big, it's the same size with my perky breasts. Lols. People would think I have big stomach but it's actually my navel so I do cover up a lot, I was ashamed to undress in presence of girls like me, no boyfriend and I remained a virgin for so long because of this until I was molested in higher institution. So I and hubby met years after graduation and we clicked. I told him no Sex until wedding night and he agreed. I kept hiding my body from him, wearing girdle to press down the navel if the cloth is tight. Guy was disturbing me for sex after proposing but I did not agree. Even to make out, I don't allow him exceed kissing.
Then wedding day, came, night, in the hotel room, I became jittery, I was wondering what his reaction will be if he sees my navel. I was just just restless. While bathing I locked the door with key, he came to knock and wanted to join me, I did not allow him. After bathing, I guided my towel well. Then I quickly dressed up in nightwear when he was bathing. On the bed, I told him to switch off the lights cos I was shy. He did. Then we started, long story cut short, Mr man put his mouth on my navel and started sucking . I thanked God that he didn't find it odd and relaxed and was enjoying it, then once again, his hands roamed to where my bobbies were and he jumped up and put on the light and asked 'how many breasts do you have?' I quickly pulled the bedspread and covered up. I still remember the scared look on his face, like he saw a monster. Shame wanted to kill me. Today we remember and laugh over it.
Very funny. I can imagine his reaction.
DeleteFunny 😁😁😁
Delete😂😁😀😂😁😂. Ostrich you have my vote. Hahahahahahahahaahahah.
DeleteWe women can hide some kind things Sha 😁.
Lol
DeleteI wonder what causes that big navel
Ikwakwakwakwawkawa droyalty don't vex
DeleteThis is funny i swear
Lmao. That is what they call 'idodo' navel of life. And when you get pregnant, it would be very big
DeleteMrs Gee "Big navel" is infact umbilical hernia
DeleteFunniest post yet!
Delete😂😂
DeleteLMAO. I laughed out loud my baby gave me a quizzical look like 'mum are you ok".
DeleteThis is damn hilarious.
Hahahah you got my vote
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteLMAO 😁😀😁, I vote for this one
DeleteLmaoo this is so damn funny
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteThe best so far, i swear. Laughed for 5 minutes . How many breasts do you have, lol.
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteYou don win😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteLWKMD,I'm trying to imagine his reaction. His new wife has three breasts.
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂chai.....my daughter had a big navel but it went down before her 1st birthday....I was always scared to touch it till the doctor pressed it one day on one of our check ups. It felt soft
DeleteLovely.
Deletethe best so far..I can't fit laugh this laughter all by myself..lemme go call my neighbours to join in.
Delete😂😂😂
Oh my goodness. This your gist made me laugh.
DeleteLol@ how many breasts do you have.
Thank God you can laugh about it today.
You have my vote
Funniest so far. U have my vote 🤣🤣🤣
DeleteHehehehe
DeleteLol, My vote is all yours
DeleteOMG! Hilarious! I am in stitches with tears rolling down my face... hahahaha
DeleteYOU WIN LOLL!!!
DeleteHmmmmmmm, my own na D.I.E!!
ReplyDeleteIt happened in 2015, I was in HND1 then and in mass communication department. one of our lecturer gave us a mini project and said we were going to be grouped and at the end of the semester there will be a Seminar where each group will present their topic. In my group,there was this ITK girl and she insisted on being the group leader which I agreed without stress (I can't argue biko). 3days to the D day, every other group was ready and rehearsing except ours, she didn't even give us the topic self, she only told us she will work on it without our help.
So 2days to the Seminar, she called for a meeting and gave each person a copy of our work to go and rehearse and get ready for the seminar and we were to bring #500 each to pay her for the write up. I collected mine and dropped it in my bag o,until I got home and decided to check. Lo and Behold, our topic was "using SPERM AS A CASE STUDY, explain the nature of the human race" I called her immediately to tell her I didn't understand the topic but she started shouting that she has done all the "wahala" so I should not bother with anything.
Seminar Day!
We were in group 2 so immediately we got to school, we had to prepare as group 1 was almost rounding up with just few members of their group present since the man started early. I asked the group leader one last time if she was sure about the topic, she snubbed me and off we went to present.
This girl started talking about sperm oh and how many millions of it you need to get pregnant and we played along like she instructed us to by Nodding our head. The lecturer allowed her finished and said.
Lecturer: where did u get this topic from?
Joy: The class rep Sir
Lecturer: and he told u I gave him this?
Joy:Yes sir, he did.
Lecturer: (Shaking His head) in as much as u did a good job, this was not my topic. I said using SPE100 as a case study (P.S,SPE100 means introduction to Human communication) not Sperm.
Joy: Blood Of Jesus
Lecturer: I guess that will be all, next group please.
Chai, I died and woke up at the same time! All our course mates had a good laugh and our group retained the nickname Sperm until we graduated o.
I skipped school for 2days after that embarrassment even the Yeye lecturer didn't help matters as he always asked sperm group to stand up and lead the class in prayers anytime we had his class.....
I vote for you😁😁
DeleteHahahahaha chimooo. This is funny. I know her type, Okachamara.
DeleteLMAO 😁😀😁, if not that I have voted this one up there, I would have voted you oh, sperm group... Haha haha
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆
DeleteI vote for you. You mad my night
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteI vote for sperm group. You have just lightened my mood.
DeleteThanks for making me laugh.
DeleteLmaoooo , you made me laugh so hard. So funny.
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅😅Vte fr u
DeleteMost embarrassing moment was the day I visited a new church and my village people sat right next to me there.
ReplyDeleteNormally, in my church, after preaching and altar call , the pastor will ask us to stand up for prayers. So as this pastor was preaching, I was pressing phone, then my battery shut down and I dropped the phone. The next thing I heard was 'rise on your feet and let me pray for you' I jumped up. I was expecting other members too to rise on their feet but alas everyone was staring at me, then pastor asked the ushers to usher me to the front. As I was still trying to pick what was going on, the pastor said 'church, let us pray for this sister , stretch your hands and pray for her as she comes to the altar, let the spirit of masturbation and all the spirits that have been deposited in her be cast out in Jesus name, I just ignored the ushers and walked to the door, out to the street and my house. I don't even know how I got home. So embarrassing
Stupid girl, na that phone be ya god? You go enter church begin press phone.
DeleteYou are your own village people
DeleteHahahahahaha
DeleteThe bashing got me
Praise hahahahaha
DeleteChange that your name
Ewooo!! 🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆
DeleteChimoo😂😂
DeleteLmao....
DeleteOMG! Hilarious! I am in stitches with tears rolling down my face...
DeleteLMAO @ charitybino
ReplyDeleteYimu
DeleteHope you know your gist is not valid. You used a plastic id
Ikawkwakwawawa
DeleteCharity's village people are here
When i was much younger(kid) we had a school assembly and i desperately needed to pee u know when u need to pee so badly dat ur bladder actually starts to throb.. it was dat bad i was wearing a pair of pretty thick cotton tights and in my childish mind, i reasoned that they would do a good job of absorbing all my pee nd my secret would b save forever.. for where they did not oh. Assembly was brought to a swift conclusion when my urine started spreading around me in a pool of absolute unadulterated shame and all d other kids started screaming lol..
ReplyDeletelong story short: i cried, my dress was soaked with pee nd i was sent home early, how i showed my face the next day i still don't know..
SHOUT OUT TO ME AS ONE OF D NEW BVS THAT I IS
#LOVINTHISBLOG
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'm here to read and be entertained. Laughing my ass off here.
ReplyDeleteThe Embarrassing Moment In My Life Was During In My Senior Sec School, I Was Studying With Dis Really Cute Guy We Had Been Flirting Or So I Thought Becuz Onetime, He Folded A Paper Into The Shape Of A Heart And Gave It To Me. So I Was Head Over Hills For Him Since Day1 Nd I Spent All My Time With Him Staring At Him. Finally Oneday My Frnds Convinced Me To Invite Him 2 My Birthday Party, My Frnd Talked Me Up Abou Embracing Dis Opportunity. When I Invited Him, He Told Me That He'd Love To Go But Dat He Was Going To Pick Up His GIRLFRIEND first. What a major embarrassment i was so disappointed
ReplyDeleteNna thank God i saved this one, i went to the Cinema last week to see the movie King of boyz. Indeed i bafed-up, wore my new top, red lipstick you need to see my calculated cat walk, as it was my first time make i no ho carry last make una no blame me i am an indoor person and off i went to Shop rite central area Abuja hand in hand with my man who closed early to ensure he made it happen for me, carried his driver to come pick me, i want make una know how this thing serious. People of God as we entered i said baby lets use the elevator after i remembered what escalator did to me. Oga said no baby let's use here i look na escalator i said chai! God in you i trust. He said 1,2 lets go! I was looking to see when his leg will drop na so devil tell me make i follow his leg. Gbam! i put one leg thanking God for making me swift at first i thought all was well until i saw one of my leg in front and one at the back Chai plus i was scared of falling so i held firmly to the raid. I said this is silver bird i can't shout and fall my hand so i said mathematically i will just adjust my leg. Umu nnem na Nigeria na so i begin adjust my leg to meet up with the other leg wey dey front. I sha did not know what happened all i know was i swung backwards to fall off escalator, i held on to the rail and held my mouth so as not to shout all the while my bobo thought i was right behind coming. Well next i noticed as i was holding myself from falling escalaor was escalating me back down instead of up with my scattered legs. I knew finally this one don pass my power na so i yell baby u need to hear my voice oga look back come see me the bend to fall, dey grab rail with one leg in front going back, thank God my man is a James bond he came down grabbed me firmly till i climbed and he pushed me off. Chai as if make ground should open make i enter, i was shivering, i just used style to first look back weda people saw me plus thank God he did not shout at me for embarrassing him i for cry en!. Chineke dalu! Cos people just were not at that place that day nna! I for don make am to Tweeter story. Well i have learnt my lesson before i go use escalator again en! Make una help me praise God, my sisters could not stop laughing as i gidted them my Chronicle of wakanda.
ReplyDeleteSee me wishing mine was in front of me when mine happened so that he didn't have to witness me undergoing such level of embarrassment.
DeleteI can totally relate to this ur story
Thanks Stella and BVs. I had fun reading this post.
ReplyDeletethis was so much fun..I had teary eyes from so much laughter
ReplyDeleteThe day I wore padded tights and a guy that was chyking me asked me did you pad your butt? Okay I died and woke up and never wore it again.
ReplyDeleteI have laughed so hard this evening. For the "gisters" thanks so much 😍😍😍
ReplyDeleteThis was truly hilarious
ReplyDeleteSo funny
ReplyDeleteWonderful comments.
ReplyDelete