Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Labour Room Drama 250

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Friday, February 15, 2019

Labour Room Drama 250

This is what i call drama in Dialogue!!!







Hello Stella, so nice to finally be able to send in my LRD.

I got married to my best friend November, 2017 and by January 2018 I felt unusually dry towards my period so I bought a PT strip and it came out positive, hubby did not really trust the 100 naira strip and I went to buy three more and tested using water as my control sample to clear his doubts and it was still positive. We shared the good news with my mother and mother-in-law.



WEEK 1-38


My sense of smell was highly activated as if I had some sort of ability like Wolverine of X-men but the vomiting, black outs, bitter taste buds showed me i’m still human. As this was my first pregnancy I asked a lot of questions, downloaded Baby Centre app, got the soft copy of Supernatural Childbirth from a kind BV, watched videos on YouTube, read Every woman ,exercised, went for evening walks, took food, fruits and drugs. Some nights I slept well, other nights were just tossing on the bed and discomfort from always sleeping on my left side. I also registered for antenatal when I was 3 months gone. Hubby was so so understanding and encouraging as he helped with food, chores and in every way possible to make it less stressful for me.



Then one night say 2:30am I had stretching pains in my lower abdomen and thighs oh God! I was crying and panicking hubby quickly called his sister to ask if there is anything we can do but both her lines were not available so he rushed to get ice block for me to use in massaging till I got some relief wheeeew I pity the man that night he was already sweating profusely and had to go take a bath. Although he kept a serious face, I could see fear in his eyes. We described and checked google and it was called Sciatica



WEEK 39


I was awakened by a sharp pain in my V area by 12:30 am on 19th Sept, I tried to manage it and be strong but damn it just persisted. Hubby saw me wriggling in pains and tried to massage with ice pack but nothing nothing. He searched online and told me it’s called lightning crotch and asked if we should start going to the hospital, I told him I needed at least a show or true contractions or my water to break before we go.

 So we stayed back talking, dozing off and waking up with each twinge of pain. By morning, the pains had stopped and I went to use the toilet only to see the show, I told him we can now go to the hospital. 


AT THE HOSPITAL


I was checked by a nurse who refused to disclose how far I had dilated by 9am. The matron asked me to be walking around and sit whenever I got tired. Hubby and I started walking around the premises and would go for checks at intervals. This continued till 4pm when the doctor came himself to check and broke my water. I was then asked to climb up and down the stairs to hasten the process but by then the pains and contraction were building seriously. I pulled everything my hand could reach to soothe myself. Hubby’s aunt, sister and brother were already with me encouraging and praying for me.

By 8pm they had to head back home while his aunt stayed back. Mhen! I hear weeen. My hips and whole body was on fire then I had this urge to push which I did. The first nurse on duty that night heard me and was shouting.

FIRST NURSE
: Madam why are you pushing, do you want to put both of us in trouble? Don’t push until I ask you to.

ME: Nursym (My nurse) please help me ooo!! I’m in pains.

FIRST NURSE: Ah this one is not the pain o. You are not even ready as I am looking at you. We will wait till like 10 or 11pm.

ME: Whaaat!! Like this?

(FIRST NURSE walks away)

Hubby’s aunt told me to please endure for the sake of the baby.

I told her this nurse is wicked, she didn’t even want to check me at least. The urge to push came again and I pushed. The nurse came back furious.

FIRST NURSE: Madam what is your problem?

(The second nurse came in)

SECOND NURSE: Who is pushing o?

ME: It’s me o. Help me ooo. Na beg I dy beg.

FIRST NURSE: Madam bia (come) let me even see what you are pushing.

(I quickly followed her to the delivery room).

FIRST NURSE: Madam sit on the bed, don’t stain it oo! Don’t push o.

(I was still writhing in pains).

ME: Noosum oo (my nurse) biko help me o.

(cool breeze for sleep passed and rested on me then I began to doze off).

FIRST NURSE: Ah madam, are you sleeping *quick slaps to my thighs*

ME: Me? Ha nooo how can I sleep like this! I’m not sleeping o. I want to push o

FIRST NURSE
: Calm down, relax, don’t push yet until you feel like you want to shit.

ME: Ah I want to shit o!! *starts pushing*

(First and second nurse bursts out laughing)

SECOND NURSE: Madam is that how to push?

ME: *panting already* show me how to push biko this is my first time.

SECOND NURSE
: Madam you are pushing from your chest, you are supposed to push from your stomach.

ME: Kai! So all these YouTube videos did not show me that part.

SECOND NURSE: Isi gini? (you say what)

FIRST NURSE: Madam, you are wasting our time, you have been pushing since in the ward now you have to push with all your strength.

ME: Noosu ewela iwe( don’t be angry), Noosu biko, Noosu I ga-ebi ogologo oge (you will live long)

SECOND NURSE: on the count of three you push.

ME: okay..1….2….3. P-U-S-H-I-N-G

FIRST NUSRE
: Madam I can see the head continue.

ME: P-U-S-H-I-N-G

FIRST NURSE: Chei Madam, this place is too tight for baby, we are wasting time (pours olive oil and grabs scissors to cut).

SECOND NURSE
: Okay madam calm down and breathe. She will give you a cut, just use the pain from the cut to push while I also help by pressing your tummy so baby can come out. Ask Jesus to help you.

ME: Okay okay

And with a long push my baby girl came out weighing 3kg at 9pm. I was just looking and waiting for the love at first sight that I read here to come catch me too but It didn’t. All I felt was tiredness and hunger. Then came the stitching which lasted for over 30mins by the first nurse. At some point I was praying she was not using me to gain stitching experience as it seemed to go on for so long and the anaesthetic didn’t do nada.

Attached is pictures for your eyes only Stella.



*Congrats,you and your baby look like twins,too cute!!!!

46 comments:

  1. Congrats...

    Google parents,
    Hahahaha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least this one no shoot of na.
      E no bad to google.

      Delete
    2. Madam shooter, at least u are better than that rigid christian sister.

      Delete
    3. If you want a soft copy of the book , Supernatural birth.

      Please click on ID, and send me a mail.

      The poster of this LRD sent a soft copy to me.

      Delete
  2. Ahaaaaaa! Congrats madam.
    Uwaaaaaa, uwaaaaaaaaaa, uwaaaaaaa!
    Make una dey allow little pikins to dey cry like this.
    Make una no dey shoot off unu anugo?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Congratulations nne, some of these nurses worsen the cases. They are from the hotter part of hell

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahahahaha... Nursu oku!!!.. Lolzz... This is the most hilarious lrd i av read recently.... Congrats darling.... Enjoy motherhood!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Miracle working God...it's only Him that helps women cos I can't begin to explain the process of childbirth.

    Congrats poster, kiss the little cutie for moi

    ReplyDelete
  6. hahahaha funny labour room drama congratulations madam

    ReplyDelete
  7. Awwww! my ovaries! God bless all mothers and MTB

    ReplyDelete
  8. Very funny. congratulations biko. God will continue to keep both you and your baby.

    ReplyDelete
  9. LMAO... I laughed till tears rolled down my cheeks. Very funny LRD. Congratulations ma'am. Kisses to your baby.

    ~BV Chi

    ReplyDelete
  10. Good afternoon SDK. Biko can someone also give me a soft copy of Supernatural Childbirth? It my 1st and I'm 26weeks gone. �� God bless you. Stella biko post

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please click on ID, and send me a mail.

      The poster of this LRD sent a soft copy to me.

      Delete
  11. "I want to shit oooo n noosu bikoo, noosu i ga ebi" got me πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ laughing. I think d labour pain is d key thing in motherhood 😜 congrats madam

    ReplyDelete
  12. "I want to shit oooo n noosu bikoo, noosu i ga ebi" got me πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ laughing. I think d labour pain is d key thing in motherhood 😜 congrats madam

    ReplyDelete
  13. Congrats madam...funnyπŸ˜€

    ReplyDelete
  14. This cut is my fear o.. Nobody should cut me oo, I promise to open it very wide 😰. Mummy mu ooπŸ˜“πŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes dear, if u are not given a cut, u might have a tear..wch is even the worse.
      In my own case I was given a cut, but the force of my baby used in coming out also led to a tear so I suffered both. And I tell u, the tear was more painful both the sewing and healing.

      Just get your Gentamicin skin ointment( its less than #500 in a good pharmacy), if u were cut or had a tear, just apply it there, thrice a day, within 3 days, u will not feel the pains much again.

      Delete
  15. Congratulations dear ,I smiled while reading this

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hilarious drama. You will not mourn over her. Congratulations Madam.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Congratulations dear. God will do it for all expectant mothers

    ReplyDelete
  18. πŸ˜€πŸ˜πŸ˜‚congratulations

    ReplyDelete
  19. Congratulations. May God preserve your Baby.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Congrats poster! Please can anyone also help me with the softcopy of the supernatural childbirth or where I can easily download it from?? I will appreciate any BV’s with ideas on this..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please click on ID, and send me a mail.

      The poster of this LRD sent a soft copy to me.

      Delete
  21. Very detailed and graphic description. I was practically doing everything you narrated there. Lol.
    So funny.
    Congrats on your baby

    ReplyDelete
  22. Congrats poster,very funny LRD.
    Those asking for the softcopy of supernatural birth, just type it on Google, you'll see the many options you can download from.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Phew!!! Reading and Smiling. I'm also expecting my baby anytime soon and will be 39 weeks tomorrow. This morning I had a scare. I didn't feel my baby move or kick for almost 12 hours. First thing I did when I woke up was I rushed down to the hospital. Got checked and the Doctor said everything is fine. That was a huge relief. I asked him why did she go quiet on me for that long, I have never experienced it as I know her routine movement.. Lol Doctor said maybe she's not happy that tomorrow is election day and she might likely come tomorrow so she's just chilling πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ . That was the most hilarious thing I heard this morning. I told him tomorrow is my birthday so she can still come and share my birthdate with me. Lol. This is me encouraging and preparing myself for labour drama.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your doctor has a good sense of humour. I would be so excited if I share same birth date with my child. Safe delivery sis.

      Delete
    2. May it be easy and fun for you dearie. Waiting excitedly to read your sweet gist. Your doctor is a sure man. 'Love his wit.

      Delete
  24. Congrats dear...cant wait for mine ooo

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous 16:07 The heavenly host will be with you and you and your baby will come out safely. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Congratulations, I can see your baby must be very happy.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This is hilarious! Congratulations Poster. I totally enjoyed your narrative.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Congratulations.With all the pain, you still remembered all the drama. You are blessed

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh!!! God will see us through. Expecting mine soon. Pray for all pregnant women especially first time mums.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Congratulations. My lrd is coming soon. God bless all TTC and Gtc

    ReplyDelete

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