Hmmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE OTHER WOMAN?
Let me just go straight to my story. Pls keep me anonymous.
I got married 2 yrs ago. At the end of that yr, (2017), one day my younger sis who was staying with me asked if i know so so Miss B. (Name not real). She even showed me the Miss B picture but I told her no coz I really didn't know the girl. I asked her why she thinks I know the girl, but she hesitated to tell me.
I kept pressuring her so she told me the Miss B sent her a friend request on Facebook and started asking her if she knows Mr. Z (my husband). My sister told her yes. Then she asked my sis if he's married to her sis bla bla and my sis said yes. I wasn't comfortable with the strange questions so I asked my sis to show me the chat. In the chat, the girl stated thus, QUOTE ''I want to please find out something from you. I know it might be weird and might even cause a problem but don't tell your sister. Is Mr. Z Married to your sister? I'm asking coz I don't want to make a mistake''.
After reading the chat, I asked my hubby if he knows the girl. He was shocked when I mentioned the name and he asked how/Where I knew her from so I showed him the chat and I also accused him of dating the girl and hiding his marital status which is why the girl is asking coz she just found out he's married.
He denied having a relationship with her but said he knows her and she's just a colleague. I didnt believe him but I decided to overlook it. I also think he confronted the said lady coz she never contacted my sis again.
Fast forward to a year plus after that incident, my hubby's uncle who also works in same office as hubby was hospitalised and he went to visit him at the hospital. When I joined them later in the afternoon, I met the said Miss B there!
She was visiting my hubby's uncle too. I went through her page on Facebook when she sent my sis that message so I recognised her when I saw her. I also discovered she now works in my hubby's office which is how she knew his uncle.
I kept my cool until we got home and I asked my hubby who employed the lady and he said his uncle. I said fine. That once his uncle is discharged from the hospital, I'll go visit him and tell him to sack the girl and give him reasons why.
My hubby now said it wasn't the uncle actually that it was him and it's becos the girl is very good job wise bla bla...I told him I don't care if she's the best in that office but he must let her go. Else I'll start coming to his office to embarrass him and the girl until he let's her go. After our long argument and he saying there's nothing going on between them,he said he'll let her go.
Now this is where I need advice.
1. Did I overreact?
2. Should I believe nothing was going on and is still going on between them and that the chat she chatted my sis was innocent?
3.Should I follow up at his office to make sure she left actually coz he can lie that he did let her go knowing I don't even visit his office. I only go there like once in a yr...So I don't even know when exactly he employed her.
*Hmmmm wow!!
Maybe she was already employed by him before she sent that chat.
If they are already dating and you ask him to sack her and he does,that might not end their relationship if they are already dating....
Since your hubby says they are not dating,go to his Office and excuse the Lady to have a chat with her...Not confrontation...A CHAT that will reset her brain.
Hmmm... your husband is definitely hiding something from you
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. The way you people jump into conclusion in this blog though. Are we professional counselors here?
Deleteyou would have contacted the lady before asking your hubby,so what when you eventually ask him you will come with receipts and evidence.
Deletemy dear, the truth is that your hubby was or is dating that girl, and she wanted to be on the safe side by asking your sister.
your hubby isn't a nice person, i.hate when people decide to cheat even in the work place, it's disgusting and to even do it in his uncle's, asin without fear or respect.
Mumu women everywhere. So why did you show your husband the chat if you don't trust him.
DeleteMumu woman.
Las Las your husband go pursue you and your sister from house.
Why is it that we women brake the code of sisterly confidece? You automatically exposed this girl to ur hubby instead of having a friendly chat with her when she reached out. If you had, at least through ur sister, you would have gained more info.
DeleteNow you want her sacked. What makes you think you are not jumping into conclusion and probably planting seeds that never existed or even enabling a situation that wouldnt have existed?
Now way forward; why dont you just forget this matter and presume all concerned innocent untill you have reall reasons to suspect anything. That girl who went investigating because she does not want to make a mistake might just be a good girl with a good head on her shoulder and now you are victimising her. If you take thise rash steps and get her thrown of of her job in this Buhari's regime, she might just land in a perfect position where she wont care if a man has 4 wives at home or not.
Tbabe,we have professional counsellors here of which am one
DeleteGo to her office and do what? Are you that less busy? What time do you have to go and confront another woman at her office? People have time o. Stop causing yourself unnecessary pain and stress. Focus on yourself and be happy. If you allow these men to bother you so much you'll just drive yourself crazy for no reason.
ReplyDeleteYour first mistake was showing your hubby that chat immediately. Patience is virtue! You should gathered more info from the girl before confronting your husband.
DeleteYour husband is definitely hiding something you. Maybe the girl is his ex and they are still in live.
madam you're not overreacting at all, the girl must go for you to have peace of mind o, if not your mind will be playing games with you
ReplyDeleteHow many more girls will have to leave that office?
DeleteDo you not see how her husband is the problem and not the girl?
Nawaaaah for men of these days. Faithfulness is not in their gene. Madam you did the right. Nobody wants their food to be eaten by dogs just pray and believe he has fired her if not you better make up your mind for the worst. Start planB now in case he refused to let her go.
ReplyDeleteDon't mind those men. Marriage of two years the man is already planning to give the wife hbp. If he fires this one ..how many will he fire or send away in the future?.The lady has been working with him before now. Afterall when she confronted him about the Facebook incident a year before. He told her she was his colleague. But since he said he employed her,then he probably employed her prior to the Facebook incident. But why did he have to lie that it was the uncle who employed her?. What is he covering up?.Even you madam, when you mentioned the lady's name and saw he was shocked. You shouldnt have opened up fully to him that how you got her info immediately.He would have opened up to you thinking his cover has been blown and you already know everything but no you kept revealing all your cards at once. What do I know sef?But it seems your husband's hands isn't pure.
DeleteThank you ma. Too quick to react
DeleteYour hubby is not being honest with you. Don't confront your hubby again, he will only feed you with lies. Go to his office and have a chat with the girl without your husband's knowledge.
ReplyDeleteI cant imagine any bosses/colleagues wife coming to the office to talk trash on any staff. We will send security to walk her out. She should learn where and when to handle domestic issues not in a work place. Haba...which woman with dignity does that?
DeleteYour husband must be a wimp for you to be giving him order to sack someone at work for you.
ReplyDeleteDid you caught them together or having sex anywhere? You will just developed HBP from this your insecurities.
I fought if you have anything going for you, of not, you won't be monitoring your husband like a FBI agent.
The Don you don supu Engrish Côme scatter both suggestion and advice.
Delete😂😂😂
DeleteNext time type in Yoruba
DeleteThis Don's grammar is like Teejay's do we have 2 guys with equally terrible grammar or is this Teejay's other account??? 🤔
DeleteSome men are scum... That was how my ex kept lying to me that the girl he was cheating on me with, is his cousin... Thank God I did my investigation and I got the truth and showed him evidence, he was dumbfounded 🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteMadam don't keep calm oh, dig very well, I don't want to expose myself too much, would have lecture you how I found out the real truth, took me just few days... I'm a good criminologist 🤣🤣🤣
Yeye men everywhere
In madam’s case, she had and still has nothing! She didn’t even wait for the girl to reveal things to her sister before going to her husband. Even now, she is not sure but wants the girl sacked. If your horseband sacks her, her allowance from him increases meaning less money in the house. Ok seriously though, you should be sure what is going on first and you have no business going to his office to behave like a lunatic. Deal with your horseband at home you don’t have any business with the lady. Be sure first!
DeleteShe would have gotten enough evidence before talking to her husband, why the rush sef... You're right Kiks
DeleteSo you’re willing to take food out of someone’s table and probably her family at large because you assume she’s sleeping with your husband?why not deal with your husband and leave the innocent girl alone(yeah she might be).if you have to go the length of going to embarrass your husband at work then your husband is the problem and not the girl cos even if he fires her hel hire other ladies hel probably sleep with cos he’s obviously the problem.
ReplyDeleteWhy was the girl asking if the man was married in the first place if there was nothing? Is that the job she was employed to do? Its obvious the man is coming after her for her to have asked the questions. Isnt it better she goes somewhere else that her boss wont be hitting on her
DeleteEvil men everywhere. May God preserve your marriage poster. Have a one on one chat with the lady at your husbands office, don't shout, don't even accuse her, not a confrontation. Just make her know you saw her chat with your sister, make her know her place, in case she is still considering to date your husband.. At least the guts you have to come have that chat with her right in the office & the calmness you will pose will send direct message that will reset her head. Then make sure your husband sacks her. Then if after this you find out they are still dating, leave her alone, deal with your husband & take them to God in prayer. Any woman that will sleep or even think of dating my husband, eh, the kind fire wey go burn, e no go even expect am.
ReplyDeleteSee mumu thinking, God don suffer in the hands of women like you ooo...even if your rice did not boil well you will invite God into it!! So God should save/keep a marriage that the supposed head of the house does not want to keep at just 2years? Mbanu...your ideology is the reason why most men remain irresponsible!!! Your type, na another woman go snatch your husband last last... Keep it up ma!!!
Delete@Tinalexy you are on point. I stopped reading immediately she said God should preserve her marriage.
DeleteAda.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
DeleteKai.....
@Tinalexy your head deh dia!!! I follow you shock for the gibberish she write
DeleteNne for ur own good, don't have any chat with her biko, preserve ur self-respect. In any case, she wouldn't tell U nothing, even if she's dating ur man. Isn't that why she asked ur sis to not tell U about it?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes dear, U overreacted... Like Stella said, firing d lady won't end the relationship if it's started already..
I find myself always saying this.. leave men to do as they please ladies, y'all need to learn selfishness @some point in marriage, especially after efforts to save ur man from his own ruins prove abortive. Protect yourself and do whatever gives U peace of mind. Nobody can change a man, only a man who wants to change.
Imagine wanting to start checking his office to see if she's been fired, choi! That's some peace eluding U right there. Don't let a man drive U crazy, please.
Mrs woman,for that other woman to ask your sister those questions means she still has a living conscience. Free her to do the job Mbok...Your husband is a liar and a cheat in the making.pls get yourself busy with work.make sure you guys now use condoms for sex and go for HIV test before making more children..pls don't embarrass her,still talk to your husband if he doesn't want to change, in other to protect your marriage pretend that you don't know anything,which I know it won't be easy on you since you are not the one doing the cheating or lying.Or better still divorce him now before you become king TONTO in the making or commit suicide while he enjoys his life.he can't come and kill you,let him die alone.
ReplyDeleteThe said lady said she deosnt want to make a mistake could mean a billion things .
ReplyDeleteI wish your sister had coaxed the story out of her
Don't bother yourself is what I will advise you .
Don't embarrass yourself insisting she be sacked or ask her what's up between her and your husband .
You could find out indirectly though ....
Your husband is guilty of sometthing sha...
You did not overreact
Is it a family owned business for you to issue the sack threat.
Get a mole in the office. Someone who can let you know what's going on without your hubby's knowledge
She wasn’t smart about it @ your second sentence.
DeleteFor how long will she do that??
DeletePray and believe how? She overreacted to me. What happens to having a conversation with the girl before even confronting your hubby? The girl also tried finding out and she was right. Sack her for what na. Na wa o
ReplyDeleteYou are over-reacting because nothing can stop a man that wants to cheat. Deal with your husband and leave the poor girl alone. You women are always after innocent side chicks. It is very clear that your hubby is wooing the girl and not telling both her and you the truth.
ReplyDeletesimple!!! but no, women like telling themselves lies...
DeleteI dunno if u overreacted but be rest assured that he's seeing that girl
ReplyDeleteStella, that was how you advised someone to seize sim card the other day. Although I agree with you to some extent like, sacking her cannot stop anything that is supposedly already going on between them. Infact it will make him start pitying her and it could draw them closer. You have no business with the woman. If she had bad intentions, she would not bother or care if he was a married man.
ReplyDeleteBut if you really want to see her, please let it be a public place and it should be a civil cool conversation. Don't allow her to see you sweat or angry. She will only agree to meet you provided she hasn't heard about you asking her to be sacked. Otherwise she will think that you want to harm her.
Better still, inbox her. Do not ask close ended questions like "are you sleeping with my husband?". Ask her how she is coping at work, and if she remembers that she sent your sister a message. Finish off by telling her that you just wanted to check in with her. The way she's replying will tell you how she feels about you. (Eg, passive aggressive) Her job is on the line, she will not say anything bad about your husband. Although I will strongly discourage you from taking this route.
Its just 2years and your said husband cannot even stay faithful? How did you guyz meet, are you from a poor background? Or all those women who used to form good woman, not good sexually, not versatile in everything around them but belong to the old school of cook,clean, have children, tie turban and enter church every time with plenty Fire,Fire at midnight? Cos most smart men marry your type and drop at home, cos they know you will not go anywhere cos you belong to the I MUST DIE THERE CREW NO MATTER WHAT, while he goes on to live his normal flexing life? If you belong to the above, as usual you will stay now, so that another woman will not reap the fruit of your labor..no be so? Good luck MRS Z!!!
ReplyDeleteLolz... my dear who won cheat go cheat. But these things you said some women lack them
DeleteIf a woman likes,turn urself upside down to please a man,a cheating man will still cheat.
DeleteEven if you caught them in the act, is that enough reason to ask that the girl be sacked? Instead of you to tame your husband. You are in for a long thing, how many girls will you ask your husband or uncle inlaw to sack so you have peace? Your husband will still cheat, he's the problem here, he neither respects your nor your marriage.
ReplyDeleteOshey jare... the man gat no respect for their vow. If he does not stop invite both families with all the evidence and disgrace the man.
DeletePlease what is she chatting with the girl about? Madam, you're married to someone and should know the man. You didn't take your vows with the woman and shouldn't be the reason a probably innocent person looses her job. If you have doubts as regards your husband, best bet is to investigate. How many women will a Randy man fire? Don't give yourself BP issues
ReplyDeletePoster even if your husband sack that girl the cheating will not stop rather your upkeep money will reduce you know why? Cos your husband will be the one to pay all her bills. Women use your head, you hear small gist you confront your husband, relax be calm get all your evidence before you confront your dog. Do not allow him to sack the girl, do underground check on her, after you have done your home work properly then you can confront your husband with your proofs. Make sure you involve both family.
ReplyDeleteWawu! 😯😯
ReplyDeleteThis horseband is riding a horse -a female horse.
Sisi, sack no be the solution
Office confrontation no go do am
Wetin go do am na connect her for social mmebi and
go to a solitary place, buy her plenti drink/chops
Eheeee, she go spill.🤦♀️🤦♀️
But if she chop clean mouth eh, make you give her
ya number, tell am say if she need to tell you
anything make she holla inugo.
Naija (matrimonial bed-breaking) girls, unu n' eyi
egwu with una totos 😯😯😯👀👀👀🐤🐤🐤
This your suggestion no make sense ANG. How many girls are this gullible nowadays? Buy her plenty drinks and chops and she go begin spill? Lmao! Any lady sleeping with a married man is already saying 'fuck you' to his wifey, & will never accept any form of friendship.
DeleteContinue to bring your enemies to live with you and call them "sister". Sisters are related by blood.
ReplyDeleteHow is it the sister's fault.??
DeletePoster you should have used your sister to get the information you need from the lady. For her to have contacted your sister,she would have opened up to her. So you overreacted.
ReplyDeleteGO TO MFM FOR PRAYERS
ReplyDeleteBut stella will she agree to chat. But why is most men of this generation useless.. you cnt still to one yash. If na woman leave your broke ass to marry another man una go say women are wicked.. fucked men who cnt keep their pant up.. see madam I dnt even know wat to say. I think the best is talk to your husband uncle about them but still dat will not stop them from seeing each other.. but stella why you no tell her the key striking things to tell the bitch that her brain go reset because meself won learn. Abi na. Who is with me???
ReplyDeleteYou are on your own here. Try this with a crazy bitch, you will lose your self worth, if not your life join. Wetin you wan tell am wey she no know already? Ajuju ajuo
DeleteYour hubby told her he is single.
ReplyDeleteHe is having an affair.and will have many to come.that is the bitter truth.how many girls will you keep having a heart to heart talk with???
Brace urself up.
And prepare your mind for anything.
Make sure you are successful.
Don't allow any pastor tell u rubbish.
Ur hubby is not disciplined.
That is the bitter true..
facts!!
DeleteGbam !
DeleteAll these people carrying marriage on their heads like gala. If a man decides to keep multiple women or marry a second wife, can any wife stop him? You have a choice, if you cannot cope with what he does or stop him from marrying multiple wives, you can leave the marriage. You cannot stop a man. Stop the harassment. You chose to stay married or leave.
ReplyDeletewhat is really wrong with these men sef?
DeleteIt's true you can't stop anyone be it a man or woman, from marrying another,if they want. Was it not a woman Stella posted about in the morning who married a second husband?. You can't stop anyone from doing what they want. People are selfish and their wants comes first before yours.And they also take these traits into marriage.It is what it is.
DeleteHope everyone realises this.
Poster.. it is also possible that nobody is cheating on you. Your horseband is Innocent until proven guilty.
ReplyDeleteThis said office, does it belong to your hubby or your hubby's uncle? Asin is it a one man business hence the reason you asked your hubby to sack her.
ReplyDelete1. You overreacted! Every party, you could have gotten information openly or codedly from is already locked down defensive now. I don't know your relationship with your husbands uncle and his relationship with his uncle too, I'd have said...anyways I dunno jare!
ReplyDeleteThe girl asked your sister cos she didn't want to make a mistake or hurt u. Then u foolishly showed ur yeye husband the chat?? Ur husband must have gone back to her to tell her to prove to her that he has u under his thumb. Now she has started dating him Na.since u don't know girl code. Oya enjoy the triangle.
ReplyDeleteExactly @ your first 2 sentences Ebony.Not certain about the husband actually dating her sha
DeleteThat girl code needs an emotional intelligent lady to carry it out. That was how I was suspecting my ex fiancé of cheating. I confronted him before with small evidence I had, oga swore heaven and earth, became better at covering his track.
DeleteI never knew there were many girls. That the one I confronted him with was just small case.
Then an unknown person sent me a friend request, I realised she is friends with him and innocently but foolishly told him that so so person sent me a friend request!Oh How stupid I was then!!!!
Note ooh..He was the one that told me to always tell him whenever his friends send me a request.
Guess what? ? My fiance got mad at me ooh, threatening to block me from his social media, that he is not comfortable when his friends become my friends on social media. Inukwa!! That was when the dopamine clear for my eyes!! Love flew away from the window fiam! !! My brain reset!!
I noticed that the friend request was deleted. That was when I realised there was more going on between them, I checked out her name on Facebook, sent her message telling her I wish to have a friendly talk with her, girl to girl talk.let it be between us.
My people, it was not upto 15 mins I sent the msg, my fiance sent me a screenshot of the msg I sent to the girl..She didn't even reply me.
We fought dirty!!!!! I called my family members and told them I no marry again! I blocked him everywhere, after weeks of waiting to hear from me but nothing, he started calling my elder sis to yarn how I moved on so soon!!
So lady, whenever a strange name start asking questions about your man, there is 90% chance that they are dating and that your man lied about his relationship. So face your man.
You showed ur husband the chat? Na wah o. That's how I told a friend to stop using all her money to feed her husband, cos I have seen him on different occasions with different ladies with him doing d spending. I adviced her to face her kids and her business instead. She went and told d husband everything I told her. The man came to warn me at my office to stay away from his wife. Since that time, if I see d man with any girl I smile and wave. Foolish women everywhere
ReplyDeleteLol😂... in your next life you'd learn to drink water & face front
DeleteThe issue is with ur hubby not her. You need to also have a chat with the lady.Tread carefully bcs u don't know his plans
ReplyDeleteSomething is fishy. Men en, why una no dey satisfied with one woman beats my imagination. Na so one married man hide him status come dey chase me, when i found out i threatened to call his wife and visit her business office, na there he stop to disturb me.
ReplyDelete