COMFORTABLE WITH LONELINESS
Hi Stella
I must state here, that you are doing a very good job with your blog. I became addicted to your blog 5 years ago after a colleague introduced me to this wonder Matter (Yes, Matter, because of the mass of BVs, the issues discussed and the wonderful space you have in cyberspace)
I partook in some of your single and mingle episodes, where I met some ladies and it was a lovely experience but the fire and passion to go all the way would always diminish after a couple of weeks once I notice I am doing all the work.
Hi Stella
I must state here, that you are doing a very good job with your blog. I became addicted to your blog 5 years ago after a colleague introduced me to this wonder Matter (Yes, Matter, because of the mass of BVs, the issues discussed and the wonderful space you have in cyberspace)
I partook in some of your single and mingle episodes, where I met some ladies and it was a lovely experience but the fire and passion to go all the way would always diminish after a couple of weeks once I notice I am doing all the work.
I met Jay 2 years ago and she was all I wanted in a woman but she insisted on getting pregnant before marriage which made me uncomfortable and she became incommunicado after a while. I would say she's the farthest I've gone so far.
I was s#xual abused by our housemaid when I was 9 for 5 years before she left. I haven't told anyone about it but the memories linger which affected me while growing up and made me antisocial.
I work and I am comfortable, I have my own place and I don't live beyond my means because I've got tons of family responsibilities. But I'm antisocial.
I'm almost in my mid-thirties now, very single and my issue now is that I've become too comfortable with loneliness. I enjoy spending time alone and when a lady or friend wants to visit, I see it as an invasion of my privacy. I have fun at work with my colleagues but that's all I do with socialising, once I close for the day, I head home.
I am getting scared because if I continue like this, I might end up not getting married and continue in my loneliness.
I work and I am comfortable, I have my own place and I don't live beyond my means because I've got tons of family responsibilities. But I'm antisocial.
I'm almost in my mid-thirties now, very single and my issue now is that I've become too comfortable with loneliness. I enjoy spending time alone and when a lady or friend wants to visit, I see it as an invasion of my privacy. I have fun at work with my colleagues but that's all I do with socialising, once I close for the day, I head home.
I am getting scared because if I continue like this, I might end up not getting married and continue in my loneliness.
Is there any guy who is in this same shoe as me?
Why is it so hard for me to socialise and find a woman who is willing to build a solid relationship with a man who's got potentials and his working towards it?
Will I ever find such woman?
How do I stop enjoying my loneliness?
Thanks.
*WOW;you enjoy loneliness?COME on!!!......
I dont know what advice to give you but if you want to try again,let me know and i will do you a special singles mingle..OK?
Do you gbensh at all or are you also antisocial with that?
Hmmm,e dey your body!
ReplyDeleteDude, you are not alone.
DeleteWe plenty for that whatsapp group.
Give me steady light, food and internet, na you go beg me to come outside for fresh air.
Only work takes me out.
Gateman till today doesnt know my name, just describing me with my car, after 5yrs of working, so you see.
Its perfect bliss.
You want to go and marry and complicate your simple and healthy life? Na you sabi oh
Antisocial with gbensh made me smile.. Stellz of life
DeleteHmmm I am a lady and I so much love staying on my own even though I love to get married .
DeleteThe only thing I enjoy about being alone is being a nudist, and doing my things myself.
DeleteDeying my dey things.
We are in d same boat.Though found myself in it cos of my AS genotype since I was 28 and now 36....once i get in on Friday, d next time I will step out is Monday morning
DeleteI even get scared to be in relationship...i so much love being alone...i am working and my salary is in 6 figures.
Mine was not even an abuse, I just love being myself.To even pick up calls for me nah wahala,it will be ringing beside me and I will be starring at it but I can chat from now till tomorrow.
DeleteI hv put off so many relationships cos I felt they were coming to intrude into my life.My routine is work-home- work.
I love children and I desired to hv them but I am so so so scared of marriage.
Do not be scared of marriage. I am exactly what you just described and I have been married for almost three ears now. I married someone who isn't clingy as well. We both love our spaces and respect it and our marriage is going stronger. sometimes we just lounge or lay down together and quiet. When we talk, we are quite chatty. Find your kind and your privacy will not be invaded.
DeleteWow so sorry about the abuse you went through as a child, glad you had the courage to speak on it it’s the first step to healing even though healing from abuse takes years and some people never heal.
ReplyDeleteAs for getting comfortable with ‘singleness’ it’s not entirely a bad thing. I find it strange when people always need to be in a relationship to feel ‘whole’. If you don’t feel complete single then a relationship or marriage won’t fill you up. I think this time gives you an opportunity to really process and think of what you really need in a partner that way you won’t rush into a relationship. Take as much time as you need because when you do meet someone you want to be with you won’t second guess yourself. It would feel right and you’d be ready. Singleness does not equate to loneliness, you can be happy in other areas of your life - finances, career, relationship with God and family etc. but that intimacy with someone is the only thing lack but be assured that you’d know when you’re ready becsuee you’d meet someone who ticks all the boxes.
We don't need to be in a relationship to ' feel whole' words on marble!
DeleteYou are afraid to mingle and that’s not cool.
ReplyDeleteCome out more and hang out with friends...males and females.
Loneliness kills faster than anything.
You need to have sex 🧐 do you drink?
Don’t you have female friends that can make you loosen up?
You need a sweet crazy babe in your life. Not the SU/ Mary Amaka type o 🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️
@SluttyChick
DeleteSo why you come dey run eh?
"He needs to have sex", na that one make una ashawos with salivating tohtohs
and greedy heart wan carry belle trap the dude gidigba so una go fit control
am like puppet okwa ya? 😯😯😯😯😯
Make una repent, come cool down with ashawoing o
Oge n' agafe -time is running out
The rape wey una (kind) rape the dude when im be smallie no do una,
Una want to rape him again?
Chukwu aju njo -God forbid sin!
😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯
Ajuju aka sanctimonious What is wrong in having a silivating totoh?
DeleteA woman who knows herself won't get pregnant just to trap a man, does that still happen these days?
Reprent from what exactly?
Cos he was abused as a young child, does that mean he can’t have sex?
Benefits of being alone. You create and design ur own World/ walls, peace of mind/ no pressure from anyone at all/ no competition whatsoever/ time with God always if u r into God/ always drinking water cos u mind ur biz/ u r oblivious of d outside happenings, u will or may not even b the last to know. Solitude is pure bliss;Heaven
DeleteDisadvantage, boredom, u begin to mk friends with home insects 🐜 , wall geckos 🦎 🕷, oblivious of ur mistakes if u r making any , growth become redundant, ur mind /soul wanders away from time to time./Trans , u lack communication terms and u will gradually lose time / no one to ginger u , u may even lose zeal to pursue anything. 🖤🖤
@Sluttychikito
Deletewhy not write it this way;
"Cos he was abused as a young child, does that mean he can't fornicate?"
The dude yarn you say na to fork be im problem and you pounce come dey flash fork for im face?
When persin tell you say Naija sisi rape am when he was 9 years, na to flash salivating tohtoh be
ya therapy okwa ya?
Any small thing you go begin runs 🧗♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
Or is he team #soapy
ReplyDeleteIt can’t be loneliness if you enjoy it, Say you enjoy being alone and I don’t totally think it’s a bad thing. 🤷🏾♀️ If you want to, start going out more. Start socializing no two ways about it.
ReplyDeleteIf you are feeling lonely when youre alone, then youre in bad company!
ReplyDeleteBeing alone and enjoying your own company is priceless, i know misery loves company, but when you love your own company... it keeps misery at a distance.
I wonder if youve ever dated, i'd bet you killed that relationship with boredom.
Ysl ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅
DeleteTouché! YLE, honey.
DeleteIndeed you're in bad company if you feel lonely while being alone. You're the one with issues and not your potential mates nor those willing to hang around you.
I am a woman, I am 40 years ans still single. I ENJOY loneliness too. I am in a serious relationship. I have shifted my marriage 3 good times. We had a heart to heart discussion 2 days ago and he said if we don't get married in December, he is taking a walk on the 1st of January. I am just too comfortable in my space. I don't sleep well with anybody on the same bed with me... in fact I don't sleep at all. I get bored and irritated easily with the presence of anybody around me. Do not visit for more than 2 hours. Don't even chat me up always... it pisses me off. Meanwhile... I am so interesting that you wont wanna stay away from me. I am a very POPULAR BV.
ReplyDelete*I enjoy being alone*
DeleteMadam your case is serious. Maybe you are even the sort that is not supposed to marry.
DeleteSome ppl can't share their personal space with someone. And once you are married you become one,ur space becomes his.
Welcome to d club. But I have a child now, my walls went higher up as I had him, any potential relationship , I find a reason to kill it, like over kill! I love my space. My phone(5) don’t ring except I use o e to start calling the rest. Solitude is Heaven 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿
DeleteThrow away your fear and embrace marriage. You can be happy in it too. Same goes for you poster.
DeleteYour ballz must be overflowing with excess spermatozoa.
ReplyDeleteNa only their your mind go.
DeleteE don turn frog. The sperm
DeleteJesu😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteIt is well. Love is just complicated.
ReplyDeleteSays who..?
DeleteStella,your last question.What do you want to do with the answer.
ReplyDeleteErectile dysfunction can make a man retract to his shell, no point buying a ticket when your plane cant leave the ground.
DeleteSo its a good question.
we are in it together.. I work at home, always indoor unless to go to market, church.. don't like friends visiting and I don't visit either..
ReplyDeletenothing is wrong with you
poster you are the male version of me. I'm female but you just described me except the abuse part of your narrative. How will I get married with this life style. God pls help me.
ReplyDeleteWell maybe U can ask for his number
DeleteMarriage is not by force, if you dont desire it dont go and suffer an innocent man.
DeletePlease join the next single and mingle, or any interested lady should contact Stella for details. Poster you need love in your life
ReplyDeletePoster needs a therapist to help him with his emotional problems.
ReplyDeleteAnd then a very smart, loving, understanding lady that will help him heal.
This isn't a big problem ,you will be fine,just make more effort like you have just started by sending this chronicle.
Ezigbote Wawu!
ReplyDeleteGuy you've got to forgive your abuser in your hears and to do this, you have to find Christ, for he is
the grace to forgive your abuser. If you do a thorough introspection, you will find that unforgiveness
and some roots of bitterness has gripped you. The Scripture says, "do not let any root of bitterness grow
up as to defile ...Hebrews 12:15 (you can open it and read please). Because of the defilement of the root
of bitterness, you have been locked up in a very lonely and sad life. But when we forgive people their sins,
our heavenly father will also forgive us...Matthew 18:21-22...
that is the way forward. May the Lord help you to take the right steps.
Naija girls on this blog una well done o.
una wan trap comfortable fine dude with belle okwa ya?
Una see say dudes dey get raped (by Naija girls🧗♀️😜 )
After una go dey run from pillar to post say husband scarce...
😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
I'm 35 and single, I've had to my share heartbreaks, my heart is as cold as ice now when it comes to love. Somehow I enjoy being single, no heart ache, no headache... But somewhere in my head I feel the need to be in love and to be loved in return, I feel the need to start a family of my own... I've stopped wetting my pillow with my tears... Somehow, I feel it would happen soon. Maybe I just haven't met that special someone. I pray it happens sooner than expected.
ReplyDeleteThe minute I stopped worrying that is when it happened for me. Which church and single programme did I not attend. TREM, Redeem, MFM, Clam. I can spend the whole Saturday just reading bible. I will be crying while doing my morning devotion. I also had several heart breaks. Last year I just zero my mind. Whenever marriage comes let it come. I became so discourage to the extent I don't pray and read bible again. Without even any effort I met the guy I eventually married. No pastor was involved,we just met and he is everything.
DeleteThanks for this
DeleteI'm sending you E-hugs
DeleteYou'll all be fine
I hope you seek some form of therapy for your abuse. It's sad and I hope you heal. As for your Chronicle, there's nothing wrong with being alone. If you enjoy your own self in your own time, then that's perfectly reasonable. It becomes loneliness when you long for human connection and you don't have it. Alone is actually nice. I am 42, never been married and childfree. Never desired either. I enjoy and frankly take pride in my solitude. If you see visits as invasion of privacy then I don't know why you want to force relationships on yourself. There's nothing wrong with not getting married or having children. When you meet someone you fancy then you might become uncomfortable being alone and you would know to go after that person. Buy yeah, I really don't see the problem with your Chronicle except the abuse.
ReplyDeleteWorld people wont let him remain single and happy.
DeleteWait till when you are 60 and keep deceiving yourself. Mr Y you are very different from poster.
Delete20:35 Someone died at 58 today
DeleteWhy live for what happens when u maybe turn 60
I used to know someone like this who's all about work & home. Let's go the the beach..no! Let's go see a movie.. there's DSTV. Let's go clubbing..mba! Visit friends..No.
ReplyDeleteI stopped being friends with him!Ain't nobody got time to bring a grown ass introvert outta his shell.
As much as you enjoy your space, you're low-key scared. What would you do if you eventually have a baby that's crawling & scattering everywhere? Would you send the baby & the mother packing?
The lady you'll end up with will have a great deal of work to do., seeing as you enjoy being alone. Especially if she's the outgoing, boisterous type.
You need to work on your fears & mindset first, that's if you really desire a companion.
There's little a woman can do if you aren't willing to accommodate & understand that invasion of privacy (from a good woman) means no harm.
True. *Sighs* Seems I'm in that WhatsApp grp. Don't know what to do. I'm a she though. I long for a relationship but I enjoy my own company.
DeleteWith God all things are possible
ReplyDeleteDude, you are not alone as we are practically almost in the same boat. I have been living alone for years now and I am kinda used to it. My routine is basically, office-home-Office, Tried socializing discovered am the one picking up the tabs on a regular basis... I was sexually abused by my Mum's maid also but I don't think it has anything to do with my life currently. I cultivated the habit of been alone when I was living in Amsterdam as most of the ladies in Amsterdam are hustlers with multiple boyfriends. I have tried single and mingle several times but always unlucky,Most of the ladies I meet these days are too desperate for marriage or looking for someone to pick up their bills. I just want a working class lady that is an introvert... My advice to you is try and be open minded, she is out there waiting for u.
ReplyDeleteDont tell them youre abroad.
DeleteTheyre vultures
hustlers with multiple boyfriends 😂
DeleteJokes aside, I know how hard it can be to find the right person but it is a question of time.
Awww i kinda understand,cause my sister is just like you,she is beginning to enjoy her lonliness and barely hangs out with friends. wish i could hook you guys up!shes turning 29 next month,petite and yoruba, so youll both be out of your shells.
ReplyDeleteAbi the two will just enter one shell......
DeleteExactly at Anonymous 20:29, I was just looking at hubby and I today, we are in one shell. Nobody comes to visit us, it’s like we’ve built a wall around ourselves that sometimes I’m even scared to have children cos I feel they would come scatter our current lifestyle.
DeletePoster just find someone like you and become each other’s best friends. There’s nothing wrong with you. We are all wired differently.
Stella, your bvs are crazy mehn, which one is abi the two will just enter one shell again oo, lmao, lwkmd.
DeletePoster Weldon
ReplyDeleteAbuse whether to a female or male child is abuse..sorry about that poster but you cannot remain in that phase of your life you have to do some delibrate moving on..i wish you goodluck all the same
ReplyDeleteStella i don't know where you stand sef. Today you are against pre-marital gbenshing tomorrow you're saying another thing
Wow! Bruv you ain't alone.. Though I wasn't abused, In my early 30's and fucking lonely worst of all, I am the only male child in my house..
ReplyDeleteOga single, shey u called me this afternoon, early 30s indeed. Let's keep this deciveing ourselves.
DeleteHad to go through my phone records. This is the wrong single guy
Delete😂 @ Stella's question. Poster let's say you haven't met the right girl yet because when you do, you will forget you once said you love your privacy alot. In summary, time handles all things.
ReplyDeletesorry about your experience growing up. About you being worried about a relationship, why not take things slow. After work, instead of rushing home, why not branch at an Eatry or bar, somewhere safe, feed your eyes, listen to people talk. Have a friend(female)and make it clear you want nothing sexual(relatioship)take the challenge of talking to strangers. you don't have to exchange contacts, just for the fun. Ease up, dance, talk a walk, sit at your street junction and observe things, and when you have another partner, tell her how it's difficult for you to reach out, and try harder. I believe in my heart you will be fine. And most importantly pray. For yourself,healing and relationship. God bless you
ReplyDeletePosted you're not alone. I'm a female
ReplyDeleteWhere were you “posted” 🤣😂
Deletesorry about your experience growing up. About you being worried about a relationship, why not take things slow. After work, instead of rushing home, why not branch at an Eatry or bar, somewhere safe, feed your eyes, listen to people talk. Have a friend(female)and make it clear you want nothing sexual(relatioship)take the challenge of talking to strangers. you don't have to exchange contacts, just for the fun. Ease up, dance, talk a walk, sit at your street junction and observe things, and when you have another partner, tell her how it's difficult for you to reach out, and try harder. I believe in my heart you will be fine. And most importantly pray.For yourself,healing and relationship. God bless you
ReplyDeletePoster you're not alone. I'm a female and I've had my own share of heartbreaks. I enjoy being alone with just my phone and earpiece. Truth is no better feeling than that. Once I close from school, I'll run home just be in my own world. The same thing at home too; I stay in my room all day whenever I'm on holidays or I go home. I have even made up my mind to be a super Rich single mum if possible.
ReplyDeleteYou are simply an introvert.
ReplyDeleteThere's so much you're not saying
ReplyDeleteYour words are deep
If you need a friend to talk to, send me an email
Poster you aren't alone. Infact I'm so comfortable being alone. I cancel dates by postponing it. Few friends ask me if husband will come and find me at home. Truth is i feel like relationship nowadays is too much work. Expectations of how i should dress, look, bla bla... God will help us. I haven't spoken to my mom in months because she doesn't understand why i don't have a boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteYou mean you haven't spoken to your mum in months???!!!???!!
DeletePlease call her up!
I have a very similar personality and I share the same fears so you aren't alone.
ReplyDeleteSweetheart, perhaps it's a blessing in disguise that you aren't in a relationship. You have to fix yourself before you ask someone to share your world. My heart bleeds just trying to imagine how your abuse left you psychologically, perhaps sexually, wounded. There are only a few things more devastating than initiating a child into the world of sex. The mind of a child isn't mature nor equipped to deal with sex or sexual stimulation. It's like forcing a round peg into a square hole, something has to give.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong in being single, you mustn't always be in a relationship but it's unhealthy to enjoy solitude as part of a normal routine. Of course, everyone deserves some "me time" every now and then, but when you start getting comfortable living in a world of your own, there's usually some underlying issues which need resolution. Darling for the fact that you stated that you "enjoy loneliness" shows that you really don't, you just use that as consolation or a defence mechanism of some sort. Loneliness has a negative connotation, you can't enjoy loneliness and still worry about ending up alone. You wouldn't even see it as an issue. It's okay to enjoy being alone occasionally but absurd to enjoy loneliness. Two very different scenarios.
My advice is, seek counselling. Debrief yourself and heal first before you start dating. A lot of good guys get bad names because they didn't deal with the injuries from their past. They enter relationships with the best of intentions but soon lose interest or they start acting up and self-sabotage their relationships and they can't explain why. It will be unfair to keep breaking hearts just because you have issues plaguing you. Darling, seek help, fix you, work towards being successful and financially stable. I assure you, your problem will no longer be loneliness, rather it will be that of choice because of the number of interested ladies all up in your grill. I wish you the best and sincerely hope you find healing.
e-hugs.
Hello poster, ore marital sex is a sin, so please don’t listen to aunt Stella’s advice on that. Just try to strike a balance. Hand out with colleagues or friends on weekends. Pray and observe. You’ll find someone you’ll cherish and spend the rest of your life wife. Cheers!
ReplyDeletePoster, you don't have a problem. Some of us are like that. I may not open the door of my flat for four days at a stretch once there is electricity, internet and food. I'm female, single and was abused too. I lost my self esteem and got stuck in my comfort zone. I date once in a while but i usually get used so I've given up on dating or marriage until my self esteem improves. I'm an introvert and find relating with people(including friends and families) toxic because most of them are users and betrayers. However, i discovered it's my low self esteem that predisposes me to being used. It's me, not them. Over time, i found out i'm the one who allows them. I'm working on improving my self esteem, understanding myself more and being less judgemental of myself. I've learnt to stay away from, remove and avoid every atom of toxicity or bad energy, regardless of whom they are even if they are my parents. I read a lot, google things and I've learnt that there is nothing new under the sun. Stop being so hard on yourself. Even if you think being introverted is bad, learn to accept and embrace it. You will find your type. Someone out there is looking for your exact spec. You just have to have the discerning spirit to identify them when they show up and be courageous to accept the fact that they will not be perfect either. Did you not notice people judging Seyi and Kaffy for being TALKATIVE? And Jackie for being TOO reserved? Same Jackie they tagged talkative initially? This goes to tell you that you can never be picture perfect for human beings. Embrace and love you, just the way you are. Afterwards, you will be able to make improvements where necessary without being too judgemental of yourself and without setting the bars too high. You'll be more open to change and adaptability will come natural to you. You will become less rigid and frigid. That's when you can improve your social life. You can then start to talk of dating and marriage. You won't even be able to sustain a relationship in your current state and you would be blaming them not knowing the problem is you. Find people you're comfortable being around and start from there. Everybody cannot be 'bad' for you to mingle with. Make an effort to find people who don't need you to change before they can accept you. People that you find it easy being yourself when you're around them. And be sure to do the things you're comfortable with. Don't be pressured to please others unnecessarily. You don't have to change your introverted nature to become social. Learn to do you, please you and do whatever makes you happy. When you believe in yourself and have self confidence, things will start falling in place. I'm working on me from the inside and things are getting better.
ReplyDeleteYour write up is great. But please use paragraphs next time. Poster read this very well.
DeleteThanks, I will next time. You didn't use paragraphs yourself though. Just kidding hehehehe!
DeleteHello !
ReplyDeleteWhen an issue got a name it gets easier to understand, accept or solve. It is called being
EMOTIONAL UNAVAILABLE( EU to long to type). You can google it and the signs.
You like your space, don't feel bored alone but sometimes a wave of lonliness comes, then you go back to hoarding you space, guarding your heart.
The thing is it comes and goes and then you feel you can manage. Why disturb myself with a relationship just because I feel down once in a while. Everybody feels lonely so no big deal.
People that are EU also want to love and be loved, but the thing about relationship is STAYING in love.
Love, friendship.... any ship can be beautiful, messy, tasking , fufilling. But if one is EU, you will only look at the negative sides and then give up. You go, what's love got to do with it, who needs a heart when it can be broken ?!
I saw some BVs telling the poster to look for a fellow introvert or an outgoing person. An EU person can be outgoing and can be an introvert. The issue is not really letting people into your house or you going into their house. Its about letting people into your heart.
This is not an issue of personality compartibility, Its a psychological issue. If not such ppl would have meaningful relationship with other people who are introverts or extroverts.
Please, don't take the advice of going for a particular personality to solve your "lonliness" issue if you are not consiously ready to deal with your own personal issue.
What could possible happen is that.
1. You date an extrover or introvert who is emotionally available and then you fall in love then revert to your withdrawn state, your partner starts to feel lonely in the marriage and then trouble starts.
2. You date an extrovert or introvert who is also EU. You expect them to take away your lonliness, they also expect the same of you and then you are both miserable.
3. You work on yourself, God who is love himself opens your heart and lets you find and be found by Love and you keep consiously working to be a better person.
Sorry for the long write up. Just did a google research on EU
👍🏾
DeleteHi Poster,
ReplyDeleteI can understand how you are living a solitude confinement life of yours.
I will advise you work on your SELF ESTEEM and forget about your past ABUSE. Then develop a life style that keep you in a n advantge position with men and your creator. By the way pray about it...
If you see something wrong with your lifestyle like you think it's due to some unresolved trauma or issue and it's not your true personality, see a therapist and talk it through.
ReplyDeleteBut what you're describing is very normal for many people
The term 'anti-social' was used in a wrong context. Antisocial does not refer to someone who does not socialise, it is a personality disorder in the same class with OCD, Narcissist and the likes. It refers to violent and overly dramatic behaviours. You are not very sociable, not anti-social.
ReplyDelete...Asides your abuse story (really sorry that happened), on the continuum of introversion/extroversion, you may be more introverted and that's fine (subject yourself to a personality test to be sure). Its not just anybody you can date or marry, if you do this because of societal pressure, you will frustrate yourself and the other person out of the relationship. Wait until you meet someone who understands and can cope with your personality traits and you're at peace with. For your childhood trauma... "Early deprivations once suffered are not forgotten, but are repressed into the unconscious mind and may be brought back later as maladaptive behaviours later in the future" seek professional help. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteI understand you poster. I was also abused at that same age by the house maid. But I still socialize. It didn't affect my social life. Common man. free yourself. it happened longtime ago. Don't allow it affect your life
ReplyDeletePoster, I'm female but wasn't molested in any way. I enjoy being alone too and it's scaring me. I'm 33 and have a small job. Once I close off work on Friday, no one sees me in the compound till Monday morning on my way to work. I wish I could have a friend I can hang out with.
ReplyDeleteSusan
Am a lady. I enjoy my loneliness. Am eager to go home. I hate travelling. I think it depends
ReplyDeleteYou are simply just an introvert. Do not worry, you will find someone who gets you and whom you possibly get in return. If not by hanging out, then through social media because most introverts find solace in social medias.
ReplyDelete