Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Saturday, July 13, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Ewoo!!!.....







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THAT SMALL LIE




Hi Stella,hello bvs,

Pls i need your advices.Met a guy on Face book who based in Delta state and we have being dating since February.He is everything i have dreamt of in a man..


My parents live in delta state also.

I stay and work in Benin so now my problem is that i lied that i stay with my aunt here in Benin cause i don't like telling guys that i stay alone.. Anytime he ask about her i always find an excuse for her absence .when he kept on asking about her,I told him she travelled to Lagos for 2months now.

Just yesterday, he asked again and i still said she is not back and he asked me if i was not lying to him and that he's having this weird feeling about this my invisible aunt..


I am the one always visiting him,he can't visit me due to the nature of his work.I will be visiting him next weekend and i want to open up to him but i fear for what might follow. I would have opened up to him long before now but he's someone that hate lies with passion..I am writing dis chronicle cos have seen him react to lies and it's no joke.


I regret lying but i noticed most guys i come across always want to take advantage of the fact that i live alone.

Pls I need advice on how to open up to him or what to say without losing him.




*You have seen him react to lies?My dear people like that nah dem lie pass oh!!!
The lie you told is not a bad one,if you wanna 'fess up to him,please do so with confidence and tell him you did it cos you dont want any man trying to insist on visiting and taking advantage of you......
If you lose him cos of this then he was never yours and probably too full of drama...

48 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. The truth is that most Igbo guys don't marry ladies that live a alone. They normally call them 'Ndi Ahia Rod'

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    2. You can tell him you lied.
      I have single friends who do not let men into their houses.
      Tell him you had a rule, and since you dint know him too well, you dint want him visiting at the time, but felt guilty letting him know now that you guys are dating.
      If he really likes you, he will stay. I don't think this is enough reason to end something beautiful.

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  2. Wait, so you are in a relationship with someone you are this afraid of? You can't tell him a simple thing as the one you described up there and you think that relationship is the right one?

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  3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Stella ooooo @na dem lie pass! Hahahhahahahahahahaaa...

    Babe, come clean, his reaction is not a bomb, it won't kill u.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don’t know why this is a chronicle. You are/were protecting your interest, simply say you live alone and let him know your reasons for telling him you lived with your aunt initially. You just started dating this guy and you have painted him like a god.
    How has he reacted to lies? I hope he is not violent because I don’t get why you’re so afraid of opening up to him. Hian, you better calm down. Who doesn’t hate lies? He is not unique.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doppelganger I'm so sure the guy is violent if not why is she so scared?

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    2. He may not be violent
      She’s afraid he’d end the whole thing bc he can’t trust her.

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    3. Is it not better it ends now if that’s what she is so afraid of?

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  5. Poster you did what every right thinking lady in your position would do. C'mon stop panicking and be bold about it. If he feels this is a lie too big to forgive,then it's good riddance to bad rubbish. But don't forget to make him understand why you had to lie this lie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This one no be lie na, you can easily tell him the truth but if you want to maintain the lie cucuma continue till the relationship don strong then you can tell him that your aunty has relocated and left the house for you till you find your fit.
      My husband has not met the "aunty" that I lived with when we met. Meanwhile, I was living with my friend then.

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    2. Feet not fit.

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  6. This lie is not outrageous πŸ’πŸΏ‍♂️
    If you are ready to open up, just tell him you lied cos you didn’t want him to perceive you as a lose woman, cos some guys don’t take young girls who live alone seriously.
    They have different ideas up in their heads.
    If he does not forgive you, na e sabi.
    You nor kill person
    I have come to realize that no matter how good, truthful and faithful you are, you’d still be taken for granted. Life is funny sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Follow Stella's advice. If he leaves because of that then he was never yours. And next time don't lie about your accommodation status. You're old enough to tell any guy that wants to take advantage NO.

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  8. There is no other way to tell him the truth apart from telling him the truth.
    Those lies were unnecessary.
    If the dude likes you, he will stay even if you push him out.
    Apologize to him and tell him sincerely why you did it. Most men
    will wonder about every other thing you ever told or will tell them cos lies destroys trust which is very important in any relationship.

    For ladies who are dating now or about to... if you think that living alone is an issue, find a relation to
    live with or a family you know e.g. for those that attend churches,
    it could be an honest family people
    that attend your church etc. But please make sure that the man isn't the type
    with "wandering eyes and 🀐🀐 "
    I chose to live with my auntie during the most part of the times I was single especially for security reasons too. People usually take advantage of a lady that is alone in
    the Nigerian situation; sad but true.

    Make una dey real, make una no dey
    become Pharisee 😜😜. Lies will imprison you but Truth will always set you free.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Just tell him the truth,don't wait till next week... Call him now and open up to him, that's why is not good to start a relationship with lies..

    Always tell the truth, anyone that doesn't want to stay with you because of the truth is not meant for you...

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  10. Stella’s red pen said it all...

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  11. Stella is spot on. I don't have anything else to add to what she typed.

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  12. I did this when I was single. My husband never knew I stayed alone till several months after we started dating and he had made his intentions clear and started doing the needful. Tell him he is the first male you are telling you stay alone because you don't want men visiting you and you wanted to know if he is was serious or not. Men read more meanings into the reason behind an action than the action itself. He might be angry but deep down he would be happy that you seem decent. If he tries to visit you, keep refusing o. Men can be funny. They see your response to them as your response to every other man. As for his reaction to lies, our people say person wey dey use machete kill no dey gree make another person carry machete pass his back. Shine ya eye

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    Replies
    1. Retired slay queen is back oooo. Welcome mami

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    2. Poster, abeg shift. You kill person? No. Gan rest biko

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  13. Let him know and state your reasons. If he ends it, then it isn't meant to be.

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  14. Tell him the truth when you see him. He should be happy for the type of person you are sef, good luck

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  15. I would have said u Should tell him ure looking for an apartment and after few weeks tell him uve moved there but d truth is he might still know later so it's better u tell him when next u see him with ur reason for lying in d first place.if he is URS he should reason along with u if not lesson learnt

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  16. Stella your advice sometimes irks the shit out of me.If you don’t have anything meaningful to say just leave the advice for BVs to give.Which one be na people wey react to lie lie pass.

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  17. breathe in and out calm down and relax. When next you meet tell him you actually stay alone but told him otherwise because you wanted to know where the relationship is heading...i believe he should understand

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  18. Replies
    1. We live in Nigeria where it's a "crime" for a single lady to live alone, else she'll be termed a prostitute or a proud lady.

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    2. I don't know oh, at least her parents are not in the same state with her... So it's not a crime to stay alone poster.

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    3. My dear, that's exactly what i'm seeing now. Will be 4years in Lagos living alone, didn't know all along i was seen as fake runs girl, feeling too big. Mean while, my parents are late oh and i'm 32yrs, shey i'm supposed to live with my ancestors? I have never lived in an environment like this in my life, in same house they be fucking themselves yet, they call runs girl cos I don't mingle with them.

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  19. Darling, how long and how well do you know this guy? The lie you told, though wrong, is understandable and somewhat justified. You are a single lady who lives alone, your security is paramount. Personally, I don't think you should tell him the true position of things until you've dated him long enough for him to earn your trust.

    Honey, I perceive you are head over heels for this guy but you have to be cautious. We tend to embellish when we talk about the character of a guy we are feeling, objectivity flies out the window.

    Sweetie, does he work 7 days of the week? I don't see why you have to be the one doing the visiting. Trust me, a guy who is really into you will find a way to come over, even if it's once a month. You will end up making this guy too comfortable and he will start taking you for granted. My darling, never act too available because you want a relationship to work. He must work hard to get you, he must show commitment and sacrifice. He shouldn't date you because you make it so convenient.

    I'm not particularly pleased with how frightened you seem about losing him or telling him the truth. Is he scared of losing you too? For argument sake, let's say you come clean to him, will the sky come tumbling down? You've seen how he reacts to lies, so you now tremble in your boots? My darling, what precedence are you setting? I hope he isn't abusive in any way? If you are this worried, then something is fundamentally wrong with the dynamics of your relationship.

    Just out of curiosity, what will happen if he breaks up with you? Will the world end? Honey you better get a grip on yourself and stop acting like he is the only man in the world. Know your worth and don't allow any boyfriend turn you into a shrinking violet. When it comes to your security, you owe no man any explanation. Better still, if he makes the sacrifice to come visit you, then tell him the truth. It will make more sense then when he sees you live alone. If that is enough to end the relationship, then keep it moving. It's only a sign that you guys will have major issues in future if a lie told for security reasons can put him off so easily. Be careful of people who only see things as white or black, there ought to be some gray areas in life.
    e-hugs and kisses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just love you for this. Poster this is it.

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    2. Ronalda, your comments are always filled with wisdom .

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  20. When I was single I told the same lie, because I don't want people invading my privacy. I don't think you told a bad lie.

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  21. I said the same to my husband when we were dating. We live in the same Lagos. He used to drop me in front of the gate, never let him in. In fact I’ve served him food once in his car outside the gate because. I told him after 5 months we started dating. He believed me all the while, because he knew I came from a very strict home.

    He still jokes about it till today. ‘Baby I still remember when you served me food in front of the gate because of your imaginary aunt, chai this girl you don do me something for this world wey we come” lol

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  22. Why do ladies panic over little lies they told to have their privacy. why should you be afraid to tell him confidently why you are staying alone. be there let pant wear you. is he not staying alone himself or because he has blokos he is entitled to stay alone not you because you are a female? please tell him if you want to and if he argues ask him also why he isn't living with his own parents. All the time they expect a grown female to behave like a slave. Even owning a car as a single female in Nigeria is a huge problem for men. please all men with this kind of mindset should take several. seats. So pissed what nonsense.

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    Replies
    1. Hmm you are talking of car? I got another generator and one idiot in my compound started singing runs runs... I have never seen such before oh

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  23. tell him you are no longer staying with your aunt and that she's too strict and complains alot, tell him ure staying alone now

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  24. Sdk self na wa for you which one be i nor want to visit me and take advantage of her but she go dey visit.

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  25. What does he want to do with your aunt sef? Even If your aunt is there, will you allow him talk to your aunt, for what reason? You guyz just met make una finish that 1 first.

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  26. I agree with her, Stella and everyone. But I hope you were being truthful about not inviting any other guy over? Hope it wasn't a case of you trying to to prevent him from seeing something. Were you being 100% truthful when you said no other guy has been visiting cos I don't believe you. Sometimes ladies do this when double dating and buying time to select the better suitor. If it's the latter, you better write us another chronicle before we give you wrong advice. Otherwise just like someone said, why should you be this scared of a 'boyfriend'? You have not even done anything bad at all.

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  27. @poster Stella have said it all.

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  28. Tell him the truth and watch it. You think all what he has been saying to you are true. Park well, don't deceive yourself your bf is not truthful.

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  29. I wonder why you should be tensed to open up. You are an adult and should be responsible for your actions. If he leaves you for this, then he isn't ready for marriage.

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  30. I lived alone for a few years while single and my boyfriend (now husband) knew. I had known him for some years when I still lived with my parents so he was well aware that I lived alone. I usually didn't let the few guy friends I had visit me unless I already had a female friend in company to avoid stories that touch. My husband really liked how I took care of my one bedroom apartment. It's only myopic and backward guys who have problems with ladies who live alone and I can't marry such men.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you....lived alone in a self contained apartment and married at 34.....I dey work so I no go come fitbafford house to live alone wey my parents no dey LAGOS? Dia fada. I never lied to any guy I lived alone..it was not even an issue..my hubby was even abroad before he came back to naija. I never did any of those cooking cleaning wifey rubbish girls do to impress men...but check me out now, I cook him delish meals and keep the home sweet and comfy...me I no sabi pretend and have always been a firm believer of someone will love u as you are...tell him the truth and danm the consequences. So far you know you are descent and keep yourself well God will surely give you your own husband

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