Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

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Friday, August 02, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

Hmmmmmmm





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MOTHER IN LAW INTERFERENCE


Good day fellow Stella and bvs. 

Straight to the matter........ please I need candid opinion/advice for my soon to be ex-wife! 

Is it alright for her to be in constant communication with her mother?

 The external influence and interference has gotten to me to the point of no return. A broken home is better than a toxic one. I dont want to go into details as I may not be able to cover every aspect of our challenges. I intend to show her your comments, so she can acknowledge we're at the brink, and that something must change permanently. 

Please help talk sense into her as your fellow woman....

Thanks all...........


 

This interference comes from when a mother does not know when to draw the line....I see where it is difficult to do so....I love my boys so much and they tell me everything and always seek my opinion and want me in everything they do...

When it gets to a point where this love and protective attitude is causing harm and pain,then the Mother needs to pull back....My dear wife,if you love your spouse,please limit your mother's interference in your home,you didnt interfer in hers or break her Marriage so dont let it happen.....

Please do this with a lot of love and dont let her feel that you chose your spouse over her....

Oga husband please take it easy...Later in your life,when you have grown up kids who want to move on with life and with other people,you will understand....
Nothing is broken until it is completely broken.
.

92 comments:

  1. You should have cautioned her to tone it down during courtship, but mbanu, you probably thought marriage or the wedding day will automatically reset her head.

    Communication!! ! Is the best therapy during courtship and after wedding day. Do as you please, because as soon as you show her our comments its more wahala because she may likely tell her mum.

    Enjoy your marriage and watch warroom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right about the courtship aspect and that she might tell her mum! I have a decision to make there!!
      PS. I've seen War-room, thanks.

      Delete
    2. Oga you are somehow sounding arrogant and rude and plainly you are angry. You have already decided to put her away by referring to your wife as an ex. Your details are too scant for me to give you much advice. I think in this case I would rather also hear from your wife, because I cannot be advising someone over what I am not informed about.

      That being said, you need to cool down and learn to apply wisdom. Don't let an external party destroy your home. What exactly did your mother in law do? Hope you are not the type that will try to isolate your wife from family and friends..... In short, I think I need more details.

      Delete
  2. Everything Stella said!!!.

    Wifey, if it was your husband doing this thing where his mother interferes in your home you know how we would go for his jugular. If you love your man then you need to let go of certain things that you can help that hurt him. Marriage/relationships are about compromise. He didn’t give a lot of details but you both need to communicate and come to an amicable agreement to forge ahead.

    Husband, take it easy ehn. Threatening divorce is unfair especially if you haven’t let her know how her actions are hurting you. Also, what does “constant communication” mean? Is it that she tells her mother everything going on in your home or she just keeps in touch? Referring to her as soon to be ex wife seems like you’ve already moved on without her knowledge and that’s unfair. You both need to talk, we don’t have enough details sef.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marriage adviser has arrived!!

      Delete
    2. Thanks Doppelganger....yes, she tells her mother everything! I haven't moved on just yet though.
      PS. You give sound advice most times. Keep it up.

      Delete
    3. 15:55 and you jobless troll dey follow am for back.

      Delete
    4. 15:55 can you see your life? He acknowledges doppel’s advice while you were wasting your bile. He no even send you, defender.

      Delete
    5. Hehehehehehehehehe

      Delete
    6. This poster must be a broke man,reason why he's feeling so frustrated,ashamed and irritated by his wife's closeness to her mother.I hope your wife will change but you can't expect her to cut her mother off totally,and i hope your mother inlaw too will see sense and reduce interfering in your marriage.I'm guessing your wife has to go to her mother for finacial assistance,reason why your wife discuss too much personal things you don't want to share as a man,you see it like she is denting your ego.you didn't give too much information but its a simple logic.

      Delete
  3. Ha Oga. Me I am in constant communication with my mother ooo. And I pray nothing or no one stops this or seperate us.

    Now since you didn't tell us the effect of hers, how can we advice?

    And since she is soon to be your ex-side, why bring this up here or bother?

    And you even want to send her the links? For what reason exactly? To make her more guilty before the sentencing or to enable her use it in her next marriage?

    All marriage has challenges. To get good counsel, you must state everything, so you can be advised properly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. State everything as par the marriage counselor that you are or the one with the longest listening ear. From his write up, you could deduce that it's a negative interference and he's been talking to her,all to no avail. Stella's red pen is the truth mhen.

      Delete
    2. Thanks anon16:21

      Delete
    3. Dear American bedsheets, when your daughter marries, I pray God gives you wisdom to discern because if she succeeds or not in her marriage, you too will bear some part of the damage! #peace

      Delete
    4. 16:01 well done the one with the shortest listening ear. A man refers to his wife as soon to be “ex” and still wants to send her link to the post without any substantial information given and you see nothing wrong with that. You should have simply agreed with Stella and moved on. What’s your business with others availing themselves as marriage counselors here? Is it not the poster that is seeking for advice pertaining his marriage? If he knew so much why did he bring it to the blog. Some of you people are just terrible. You won’t contribute and you won’t let those who have taken their time to contribute drink water.

      Delete
    5. 16:01 Poster no send you but e gbadu “marriage counselor” advice. Wetin you gain?

      Delete
    6. I completely agree with 17:35.
      See how he is ordering us to advise the wife with no details.
      Who does that?

      Delete
    7. Poster, it is 16:01 abeg😁😁😁😁😁

      Delete
    8. Highly favored I agree with you. There are not enough details to give advice. For me o. This isn't one of those chronicles where it's easy to assume, deduce or read in between the lies. I don't see anything wrong with constant communication between a mother and daughter. Poster, if you had mentioned some of the issues you have with wifey, then it'll be easier to judge whether the interference is necessary or destructive.

      Delete
  4. Poster, there’s nothing you can do about it.
    She’s already used to that pattern, so changing will be difficult.
    Some mother’s don’t know when to retrace their steps.
    I don’t know how growing up was like for her...that could be a part of it.
    Maybe both of them is all they’ve got.
    When you hear some stories of mother and daughter, you’d understand why are inseparable.
    Please be patient and take it easy on her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The mother has other children, though she's the first daughter.

      Delete
  5. Leave it na. People that let things bother them
    Let her talk to her mother. How does it stop your joy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Easier said than done my dear! Believe me!!

      Delete
  6. God hates a "broken home"
    Malachi 2:16 “For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”

    Satan harvest from a broken home. He harvests especially the kids to destroy and use to destroy.
    If your only solution to address the challenges you face in your home is
    to divorce your wife, then you are a
    completely defeated man!
    See dude, if you courted this lady, you aren't unaware of the level of
    interaction with her mom.
    If you married her in spite of that,
    then you should be ready to cope and
    be patient with her.
    The Naija Sisi suppose know say oga on top dey vex for her over callabo with mama.
    The Scripture says that "the two shall be one..." Husband and wife suppose to be one; in soul, spirit and of course body (legitimate things 😊😊😊)
    So, Sisi cool down and join with your husband to build a home.
    Oga on top, make you carry nchicha -cleaner, erase that -ex, wey you yarn there inugo?
    😯😯😯😯

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One thing I admire about you is that you are worded.
      You follow kingdom principles in every aspect especially in relationship where the world's standard seems to be the norm even for believers.
      (You're a choir leader in a relationship fornicating and it's normal)
      If the persona you display here is real then i applaud you!
      Although you sound crass sometimes and say cringe worthy stuff but i guess you're probably just a humorous lady i wonder what you will be like in person.
      Well I'm just trying to get back on track. Discover my purpose and be on the way to fulfilling it sometimes I get tired of life really.
      It's well, in all it pays to serve Jesus.

      Delete
    2. @15:55
      I always tell people that even if there is no eternal punishment for sinful lives,
      Life in Christ is unquantifiable peace and I love him. A suo m oyinbo 😊😊😊
      Please learn to devote time in quietness and be with him, you will be amazed at
      the way he will reveal himself to you and bless your life. Remember Isaiah 40:31 -they
      that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as
      the eagle, they shall run and not be tired, walk and not faint (quoted off by heart).
      Beloved, I dey yarn am like it is o.
      A lot of things I share here are difficult for some to believe/understand because, in as much as
      they crave for such a drama-free peaceful/contented life, they are not willing to sacrifice
      their comfort zones (the usual things the world crave for -the lusts of the flesh, the lusts of the eyes,
      the pride of life 1 John 2:16) to seek the Lord Jesus.
      Yes, I think I joke a lot -for laughter is good medicine Prov.17:22
      but I can also be serious with eternal life, life of kids/infants/womb dwellers and family...I can
      be emotional about these things like any mother do, but that does not overwhelm me. I apologize that sometimes my jokes may
      be misunderstood and the arrow shooters🏹🏹🏹 will always deal with me. Even though those ones
      will shoot even if I say "hi".
      Seek Jesus in praying/fasting/his word and you will overcome in this world and live life in abundance
      Thanks for being a wonderful silent contributor to this great blog.

      Delete
    3. ANG is good.
      I give her that.
      Only a hypocrite will hate on ANG.
      Initially wen she started commenting, chai... i hated her eh, but i just kept reading & suddenly it changed to love.

      Delete
    4. Thanks ANG. You are wise. I appreciate maama!

      Delete
    5. ANG, oil of wisdom full your headπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ

      Delete
  7. Oga this your message is vague on behalf of blog viewers we can't help you until you give us the full storyπŸ™„
    You don't want us to bash you abi?
    I smell a ratπŸ™„

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. me too, am smelling cat

      Delete
    2. If only you had "bashed" me, then I replied you, then my wife and I would have read everything together, it would have made more sense, I suppose!

      Delete
  8. she can be in constant communication with her mum but for you to be complaining it means she tells her mum everything that happens between you and the mum is always using it to attack you.

    Madam wife of course you can't ex communicate you mum because you got married. You communication with her now should be 30/100

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So many wise, mature people in this blog sha. Thanks.

      Delete
  9. First time I caught hubby cheating, told my mum she was angry but didn’t interfere, caught him the second time, told her that i need her to let him know. She said that no, it’s your marriage i shouldn’t interfere. She still talks to him like he’s d best son-in-law . Bottom line mothers have to be diplomatic when it comes to their children marriage

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless your momma for all generations. I can't even begin to phantom what my story would be like if I ever cheated on my wife, then mother inlaw found out. I'm not a saint so I won't comment on your husband nor praise myself. Hmmn

      Delete
  10. Mr poster please watch war room.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown.....I have.

      Delete
    2. Poster kneel down and do midnight prayers. Fast for at least 7days.

      Delete
  11. God hates divorce. Please talk to her with love and pray God touches her to change. It is well with your home.

    ReplyDelete
  12. She won’t listen but will show her mum this comments and both of them will hate you more. The mum will already think you hate her and so this is a no win situation for u. Your best bet is to be patient and anything you don’t want ur mil to know don’t tell ur wife. If she refuses to submit and make you her confidant then you have to surrender and be looking at her o.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have really suffered o. Must I continue like this forever!?
      If I go into details, some persons may decide! This blog is well read... Again, I don't want to offend my wife by washing too much of our dirty linings in public, even though we are all anonymos here. I don't need her feeling bad. My mother inlaw is young so we should have donkey years ahead. I don't hate her, but I won't lie that I like her. We used to be best friends back in the days. Matter of fact, without her, my wife and I wouldn't have married. Small temporary space and privacy is not too much to ask dear wife.
      Also, I am not particularly worried about her knowing I brought our issue here. All I ask is peaceful resolution, so that we can prosper and my Willie shouldn't wander about!!!

      Delete
    2. This is the worse advise ever; poster please don't take this advice from 15:38.

      Dear wife, if I were you, I will listen to my husband. Your mum has lived her life, don't let her interference destroy yours. The two of you have become one, discuss with your husband rather than your mum.

      Poster incase you don't give your wife a listening ear hence she yearns for someone to talk to and turn to her mum then please you have to change now. Make time and listen to her, don't shut her up, let her talk to you always.

      Delete
  13. Their communication should have limit now that she is married.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you o. She's not a child. Mid - late 20s. Me, I have never tabled our eish outside before. Instead, I support and fight like mad to defend her against any intruder.

      Delete
  14. This reminded me when my daughter got married and that night before leaving to her husband's place, i told her it ends today, and she asked what?
    I explained to her i will not be available to deal with your ish. Solve it with hubby and yourself, cos once you invite a third party then your marriage is in trouble.
    My mum told me this and it worked for me, now its your turn.
    My daughter is my gist partner, i really missed knowing everything and advising her. I still remembered how we both dealt with her annoying ex. Aka me shoulder pride.
    Now we only talk about kids and about us the parents. I suspect my husband is happy with the development πŸ˜‚. I have his time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      Men can be jealous when attention is divided.

      Delete
    2. Hmmmm she’ll just talk to someone else about their problems

      Delete
    3. If they can always discuss other things, no problems. If the mum gives sound advice and is a competent role model, no problems either. I am not didsidi anyone o, all I'm asking for is sometime alone with my family. Imagine being in your husband's house, and still be advocating for your daughters divorce! Who does that?

      Delete
    4. Poster talk with her, i believe you don't like her mum and i noticed it from the write up. Please this can be settled if everyone acts nice to each other. My son Inlaw is my son o. Infact i call him first son. Please dont look anyone down.

      Delete
    5. You see poster you are sounding somehow simply because you didn't tell us the koko. What is actually wrong? You dont want them to communicate or you don't want your mil to visit? Now you got her daughter as a wife you are no longer friends? Something ain't right here.

      Delete
  15. Husband you didn’t tell us what you did...You just brought us half story and expect us to bash your wife for being in constant communication with her mum...Men like you ignore your wife at home, give them the silent treatment, abuse them emotionally to the point that they feel so empty and the only person who they can turn to for comfort is their family I.e mum or dad or siblings...Have you called your wife to communicate with her? Did you explain to her with love? Have you ever told her that she could lean on you and you will be there ? Can you be sincere to yourself that you don’t neglect her, or make her feel alone to the point that she turns to her mum for comfort...From your write up you already referred to her as your ex-wife and I cannot begin to imagine the torture she goes through...the endless tears that comes from her eyes and all...If you care about her at all then call your wife, talk to her with love if you still want your marriage because I know every reasonable woman loves her husband and would do anything to keep her home...Goodluck

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My crime, I suppose, is that I am not as financially bouyant as they thought, or, as before!
      You are partially right about the neglect aspect......I will do everything to work on that.
      PS. That's why I like this blog. Diverse opinions, people must touch every topic. I may not be able to answer everyone/everytime sha.

      Delete
    2. You see poster , you are doing something bad. No mother wants her child out of marriage except she is being abused. Please work on yourself and don't bring the financial issue to this case already.

      Delete
    3. God bless you 15:47. I smelt bushrat

      Delete
  16. Oga this is about loyalty and control. Think of it this way. Your wife has known her mum all her life, good, bad or ugly. You on the other hand have only known her for X amount of years. You should have had clear and open discussion with regards to the role of parents/family in your marriage. As Princess Diana once said, 'there were three of us in the marriage and it was a little crowded'. From your tone you seem to have made up your mind to divorce which is very sad. I believe you should keep trying to salvage your marriage. Can you not go for counselling (not the please fix my wife type counselling) where you can spell out clearly for your wife what harm this issue is causing in your home? I will also suggest you pray and fast so that any unholy hold/yoke is broken.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much for your contribution. However, from the time I posted this to Stella up until now, she seems to be making some kukere adjustments, so my heavy heart is feeling lighter. If she continues in that path and we sustain it, there won't be any cause to endure our marriage any longer - enjoyment it shall be.

      Delete
    2. So poster you now see how premature it was to be referring to her as your ex wife. I think that was extreme. I hope you don't threaten her to pack from your house anytime there is an issue?

      Delete
    3. Praise God poster. But please note that old habits die hard. With time, as you draw her closer to you, her need to talk about everything to her mum will reduce. Madam, if you are reading this, even the simple act of dropping the phone once your husband is back from work means a lot to some men. Give him your undivided attention and the only other person you pour your heart to is the Holy Spirit. Please ma adjust and tell your mum to be very very discreet.

      Delete
  17. Oga what exactly did your wife & mom do?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear, men do suffer in marriages too, we don't cry out and we don't sulk much.
      Back to your question: too numerous to mention, and is also irrelevant to my cause - from as little as church we should attend to school our kids should attend to house allowance to doing house chores to deciding how many kids we should have to saying when I should be at home to anything you can think of my dear, any and everything!

      Delete
    2. Now poster , you guys didn't discuss all these while dating.
      OK let's talk about this. You are not available for that woman which makes her makes decisions. After doing it you feel like she is now performing manly duty with you. This is lamentations of a Nigerian man πŸ˜‚.

      Delete
  18. My sister was like this, to a point if my mum doesn't approve everything she doing, then she will never go ahead with it, she married quite early, maybe that was why.

    The day she cut my mum off, it took sometime before my mum could accept it, and till today has affected their relationship. And my mum sabi control kia, that woman ehhh.

    Woman there should be a limit to everything, no one is telling you don't love your mum, but make it in a way it doesn't affect your home

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you aunty. Wifee must see and hear all these again. Even though everybody that know* us have tried. Let people who don't know us, and have nothing to gain/lose also contribute.
      By fire by force. After we go through their comments P, you will then also tell me how to do better.

      Delete
  19. Poster have you run out love to share with this your wife? Slow down & take it easy...ahh ahhn is it that bad?
    Wife of poster come see o, you need to show your man you also love & value him by giving him the privacy you both need,stop running to mama,its not always a good idea,we are all mummy's daughter/son, but you need to know when it hurts & then draw the line.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Your writeup is too vague, sir. If you want honest opinions and constructive criticisms, you have to be willing to open up. You need not state your entire life history, but a detailed story of what exactly is going on will be more helpful.

    As it is, the way you asked that question, "is it right for her to be in constant communication with her mother?" My answer will be yes, it is. Especially if they have a close relationship, I see nothing wrong. I speak with my parents at least 2 times daily. That has been the routine for the 17 years I have been married. Unless your beef with her is that she tells her mum everything that goes on in your home or her mum gives you unsolicited advice after she gets reports from her daughter. How exactly does she interfere?

    I find it curious that you can't resolve this with your wife. Is she that stubborn or is your mode of delivery hostile? Unless in exceptional cases, most ladies respond to tenderness, even more than men. If you ask her in a loving way, I'm sure she will listen. Why not plan a romantic dinner or a weekend getaway, just the two of you, spoil her a little and in that mood, calmly tell her what she does that rubs you the wrong way and see if things don't change for the better. You can hardly go wrong with tenderness. I have noticed that romance is dead in a lot of marriages and that is very sad.

    The way you refer to her as your soon to be ex-wife, yet you wrote in asking for advice makes me believe your marriage can still be salvaged. You need to be more patient with her, she is your Queen, at least she ought to be, please don't be too hard on her, be more gentle and loving. Don't allow your anger push you in the wrong direction and never ever use divorce as a threat. It's not that difficult to know the way to your woman's heart. Please be more patient and make sure the line of communication is always open. I wish you guys blissful matrimony.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aunty Rolanda - Firstly, thank you for your time. Secondly, my ("beef with her is that she tells her mum everything that goes on in your home or her mum gives you unsolicited advice after she gets reports from her daughter") - I quoted you!
      About your second paragraph, that's 70% on point in both sides. I subscribe to your suggestion and we'll try it out this holiday - God willing.
      God bless you ma.

      Delete
  21. Ayam not understanding any thing here. Who is cheating who

    ReplyDelete
  22. which one is my soon to be ex wife, what are you even feeling like and moreover what did u do cs her mum can't just be interfering in your marriage, yall always feel u did us a favour by marrying us

    ReplyDelete
  23. That she tells her mum everything isn't enough. If it were a friend,still not enough .

    It's easier to tell mum's and sisters stuffs because they won't tell or use it against us.

    Please be more patient Abeg.

    Woo her from her mum.
    Are you ready to hear all sorts of silly things women talk about ???

    Pls don't divorce on this account biko.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You made a lot of sense. But to woo her from were? I DIE WELL. I don't mostly partake in her(wifee's) discussions because it's mostly about other people and common stuff! I need improve myself sha, cos no justification for slacking. I really love my wife.

      Delete
    2. Oh so you can't partake in common talk and you think she is not intelligent enough and only talk about people and common things which can't improve you? You see that's the problem. You need to listen to her, watch the news with her, talk and chat with her; finally you both will find a common ground. Your wife is bored and need a gist partner, the reason she talks to her mum.

      Delete
  24. I learnt something recently, separation in marriage must not be for the purpose of divorce only, it could be in view of reconciliation and the building of a stronger marriage.


    You don't always have to be quick in throwing in the towel. You can work rewarding fixing your relationship with your wife . The next woman will not be free of troubles, so fix this and keep your hone together .


    Stella advice long pass the chronicle sef.

    I tire jare.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol I am telling you. Stella try well well. Her input pass through my brain to the back of my skull! The woman(Stella) is fantastically marvelous.

      Delete
  25. I love my mum so much that I fake sickness just to be allowed by my husband to visit her and I won’t come back till she chases me away. She knows everything about my home but never interferes or try to caution my husband. All she does is tells me the best approach to settle matters. Dear wife, you and your mum need to be diplomatic about the affairs in your home, try giving your husband more attention. Husband divorce is not the solution. I hope this helps .

    ReplyDelete
  26. Reading further and the way you are answering comments, also taking into consideration you just threatened your wife by calling her "soon to be ex wife". You sound to me like an abusive and manipulative husband. Your deliberate decision to not tell what exactly is happening but just talking about she involving her mother raises a red flag.

    Dear wife, if this man is abusing you, please speak up but if hes a great husband then please hear him out and take his demands into consideration. May God help you both.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Come on don’t be too harsh on the poster. He sounds polite and willing to accept the various advice. He has equally shed some more light on the crux of the matter. Give him a break.

      Delete
    2. Anon18:52 thank you oo. No one is perfect, but at least I am willing to learn, and grow right.

      Delete
    3. She is not being harsh but very factual based on his post and how he is responding to comments. I felt so myself.

      Delete
    4. Anon 20:30, thank you. Fact is I made that comment because I have seen and witness how abusive and manipulative people behave and this poster sure sound like one.

      Delete
  27. I love my mom to the moon and back but i do not tell her everything.
    I used to,but I used my common sense to stop.
    My hubby loves to tell her things I caution him.
    I want to be a woman of my home.
    A wife to my hubby.
    No interference from both parties,.
    I want my kids to have a mind of theirs.,
    My mom will always be biased and sentimental.
    I realized that I can build my home to what I want to see than gossip my home with my mom.
    Of late my hubby got something and has been eager to tell my mom,
    i told him no.
    Somethings need to be kept.
    Wifey build ur home.
    Not ur mom building It through
    My mom trained us five.
    My dad was not there.
    I Iove my mom like air.
    I used to love my mom than my hubby,now I have come to realize everyone should a different space in your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Lady T/worth more than a thousand dollars2 August 2019 at 19:27

    Dear Poster, the one thing I haven't seen in the advice given is you need mentors. You need to have older people who will mentor you. Am not saying 3rd party but there is a place mentorship.

    My Doctor who is 65 yrs old told me recently that he and his wife have mentors. A couple who is older who they look up to.

    Just like we have parents we also need mentors to look up to.

    I want mentors for I and my husband. Cross cultural marriage is not moimoi. Once in a while you have questions to answer. You or your spouse will need scolding or a rebuke here and there. Some marriages definitely need mentors.
    Young people need mentors. So one who is familiar with the terrain you are on. And no, mentorship doesn't take the place of God.

    If some marriages had mentors, we won't hear some of the stories we hear today.

    Putting your story here is a way of being mentored.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If he can't stand his mil, do you think he can stand a mentor or mentors?

      Delete
    2. You hit the nail right on it's head especially where you said "inter/cross cultural marriage is not moi-moi! I totally agree. There are some pertinent adjustments that takes time, and needs patience to overcome. I hope we get better at it - Amen.

      Delete
  29. Dear poster be a friend to your wife. Someone she can trust and depend on, give her your time and a listening ear. Do not be quick to judge or complain at least show interest in the things that conscern her and she will automatically learn on you. I know how men feel when their pocket is not heavy just dont take it out on her, try to let her see your pain and seek for her advice trust me she will learn to cover your shame. Do not force her to cut her mom off it will only make things worse in fact encourage her. Stop calling her your ex wife no woman outside is better than your wife. You are the head and the prist of your home learn to pray for your family.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you.
      I was downtrodden when I called her that. I won't do it again.

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    2. Poster, I just read up there where you insinuated she’s a gossip and will talk about things that don’t interest you... but you know what, those are the things argh interest her so if you want to build the elation ship, you take an interest in them. It at least, give her a listening ear...
      My hubby is a very busy medical doctor and church leader but you know what, he’s also my best friend. We gist about everyone... and everything. What you would consider consequential and inconsequential. Movies, shows, etc. that’s what marriage is about. But friendship need work. You have to put in the time and energy to build it. Both parties have to be interested in being each other’s friend.

      You build the trust and loyalty and become ‘personal persons’ so much so that even if you have misunderstandings, you know that this is still your person so you can’t even abuse or disregard the person

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