STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FALLING FOR THE WRONG PERSON
Hello Mrs.Korkus,
I'm currently liking someone I feel I'm not supposed to be involved with.
My problem now is that he happens to be her younger brother although he is one year older than me. (His sister is not my mate as she should be 4yrs older than I am). I would not think twice about dating this guy if we had met on our own but the fact that he is my friend's younger brother is making me feel some type of way.
Hello Mrs.Korkus,
First off, I want to thank you for this platform you have provided for us to share our various life issues.
I'm currently liking someone I feel I'm not supposed to be involved with.
I have a friend whom I met through another friend, let's call her Sarah. Sarah's brother and I have been spending time together and during one of our outings he opened up on his feelings for me and how he would like us to start something (I really do like him too).
My problem now is that he happens to be her younger brother although he is one year older than me. (His sister is not my mate as she should be 4yrs older than I am). I would not think twice about dating this guy if we had met on our own but the fact that he is my friend's younger brother is making me feel some type of way.
I feel its so not right. Dunno if I'm taking the "younger brother" thing too personal. Please I need Your red pen Stella and bv's opinions...
Thanks as I anticipate to know what you guys think.
*If you like the guy,please go ahead...I dont think you are doing anything wrong at all....And please dont dare go and ask your friend for permission to date her brother,you dont owe her anyting except friendship.The only problem i see here is that she will try to break you both up codedly...it happens lots of times.....
If this relationship is just for 'fling' sake,then you dont have anything to worry about but if it turns out to be Marriage headed,then you have a lot of worry about if your friend is not in approval....
Go ahead and accpet his love proposal,you will eventually find out what your friend thinks when she hears you are dating her brother....All your secrets will be spilled to him,so if there is anything he should know that she might use against you,tell him yourself...
You can go ahead, but keep it under wraps, just in case its a case of hit n run.
ReplyDeletePoster make sure you tell your girlfriend, even if she will not approve of it. Tell her yourself and don't allow her find out by herself. You owe her that respect.
DeleteWhen my girlfriend went to my back to date my brother I felt bad because I heard it from my brother. I would have advised her against it because I knew my brother has a serious girlfriend and only wanted to chop my friend. He too didn't tell me early until he got tired of chopping because he knows I would have opened his nyash to my friend. Good for them anyways..
Please take fan’s advice
DeleteListen to fan. There is nothing wrong dating Sarah's younger brother but depending on your closeness I feel you should casually mention it to her e.g. i think your brother is cute, do you think i should accept to date him if he asked me out etc. You will know how to tell her with divulging too much information
DeleteI dont think you are doing anything wrong. But the awkward thing would be if at the end the said guy messes you up. It could affect your friendship with his sister. So before going all in he should make it clear to you what he wants
ReplyDeletePoster you don't have problem.
ReplyDeleteIt's si right you ask your friend for permission.
ReplyDeleteIt's a borther for Pete's sake and you knew him through her.
Let her know.
Well, if she agrees, she will just treat you both as her younger siblings. So, no biggie with the "younger brother" thing
Spot on
DeleteIt's right to tell the friend, not ask for permission....
DeletePermission ke??
Tell Sarah!!
Im with cookie on this. U dont need her permission, tell her and hear what she has to say. If shes aginst it find out why. If her reasons are justified take a walk if not go ahead if u feel u both want this. Simple.
DeleteGood advice and I think you need to clear your mind of these your idea that he is your friend junior brother afterall he is older than you
ReplyDeletePoster, you do not have a problem.
ReplyDeleteAs long as the feeling is mutual, please go for it.
That’s one of the ways people meet and fall in love and eventually get married.
Don’t let your friendship with his sister scare you.
If she finds out and says she’s not in support, Let him know, you both can talk to her.
But what if she likes the idea of you dating her brother?
Please give it a chance. I love the smell of love 🥰🥰
Ask your friend for way forward before you date her brother.
ReplyDeleteGood advice
DeleteI hate to agree with ‘Don hater of any woman with a mind of her own when it comes to heterosexual relationships’. Poster don’t go hiding your relationship from your friend. I would have suggested your brother tells his sister but it would remove any awkwardness if you do so yourself. You will also see first hand how she reacts to it. I wouldn’t have any problem with it except you are not a good person. All the best.
DeleteHi Don.
Please take Don’s advice
DeletePoster i feel you should tell your friend, you can bring it up in a playful way. if you have been decent in every aspect why won't she? and if the brother is knock head believe me, she will let you know. But in all i see nothing wrong
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I agree with Stella and also think you should open up to the guy if your friend know something deteriorating about you but I think you should let the sister know you two are in love asap. I personally have brothers and I'm not against my friends dating my brothers, I will even make sure I protect your interests. Not every sister is evil, please tell but after you have cemented your relationship with her brother.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeletePoster I agree with Stella but I think you should let the sister know. Letting her find out herself might throw her into shock and she might panick and act in a way that will destroy the relationship when you are really involved in it. Tell her now in a nice way that will win her to your side. All the best.
I don't think there's anything wrong in letting your friend know, not asking her permission but letting her know you're considering dating her brother, she's your friend afteall.
ReplyDeleteBless you dear
DeleteThank You.....
DeleteDarling, there's something known as the decency of common courtesy. True, both of you are adults, and while you may not need her permission to date her younger brother, the decent thing to do is to tell her about it. It's not like you bumped into her brother at the mall or some other place and you guys hit it off before knowing he is your friend's brother. You got to know her brother by virtue of your friendship with her.
ReplyDeleteI noticed you tried to downplay your relationship with her by stating that you met her through another friend. Sweetie, it doesn't matter if you met her through the sister of a neighbour's uncle's brother's colleague's friend. The bottom line is that she is still your friend and you owe her, at least, some semblance of respect. Please, don't disrespect your friendship with her by allowing her find out from another source that you are dating her brother. Tell her yourself. You may be surprised at what you will learn about him.
I hope you know your relationship with her brother may prejudice your friendship? Most big sisters are nearly pathologically protective of their brothers and may not want their friends dating their brothers for whatever reason(s).Are you sure her brother is worth risking your friendship with her? I'm wondering why he hasn't told his sister about his feelings for you? Most guys who have the hots for their sister's friend, will normal go through their sister, unless they aren't planning on it being a serious relationship or they aren't close with their sister. This has the potential of being a very awkward situation if not handled properly. Something similar happened to me. I will share it in my next post.
Honey, if you decide to go ahead with this relationship, you have to be very careful and not blur the line between your relationship with him and that with his sister. If he misbehaves, you can't report him to his sis, the way you would report or gist about an erring boyfriend with your regular friends. You can't also tell him things his sister told you about herself or whatever. His sis can also make your relationship very difficult. If she's not on board, you really have your work cut out for you. I hope you make the right choice.
e-hugs and kisses.
Please take Ronalda’s advice
DeleteGood advice. But all these "honey" and "sweetheart" makes your advice sound condescending. Someone told you this sometime ago. I wish there was some "like" buttons for comments.
DeleteA friend of mine had this mad crush on one of my brothers, she didn't tell me about, she went ahead to "shoot her shot". Unfortunately, she shot blanks because my brother wasn't interested. She told him that she knows he's "out of her league" and he wouldn't want to be seen with her in public and that she doesn't mind being friends with benefits. She actually went on her knees at that point. How dramatic!
DeleteMy brother laughed out loud because he felt he was being "punked". He thought his baby sister was playing tricks on him and decided to incorporate her friend to make it more convincing. So he told her to tell me to be less obvious next time. It was then she told him that she hasn't told me about her intentions and I'm not even aware of her visit. My brother was still laughing because he thought it was part of the plan to make it more convincing. It was when she burst into tears that my brother stopped laughing and he realized she was actually very serious. As he was trying to console her, she seized the moment grabbed him in a tight embrace and tried to kiss him. Good thing he is like 6ft 5", his lips were far out of reach. My brother said he just had a swim and was still at the pool area with some of our domestic staff, so people saw the whole show. If she could do that with people around, imagine what would have happened if they were alone? He said he gently unwrapped her arms from his waist and the next thing was she ran away. She bolted through the gate and left the car she came in.
Immediately my brother came to my room and narrate what just happened. To say I was gobsmacked, is putting it lightly. I had no idea she felt that way. She used to drool over ALL my brothers in a cheeky way and we always laughed over it. I had no idea she had singled one of them out. I was all up in my feelings because I felt she should have told me before going straight to my brother, even when I was at home. She would have spared herself the humiliation if she had told me because I would have told her not to bother her pretty little head because that particular brother of mine was in a serious relationship and he isn't one to "play rough".
The next day, she sent her driver to retrieve her car. I guess she was too embarrassed to come over herself. It would have been an awkward visit. She called some weeks later to apologise for her behaviour. Though I forgave her, our friendship was never quite the same again.
you always get gist to back your Tory 👐👐
DeleteWow.
DeleteYour friend was quite bold, bold!
She knelt down??? 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
This is hilarious.
I love you Ronalda! Great advise up there!
I sha enjoyed the gist. Kikikikikiki I can imagine her embarrassment. But she was bold ooo.
DeleteShe talks too much
DeleteShe talks too much
DeletePlease try and tell your friend. I will share my story too. A friend got to know my cousin through me, and had feelings for him. This guy proposed a relationship to her but insisted that she doesn't tell me to avoid external influence. After a month she couldn't bear the guilt and told me, she asked me not to tell my cousin.I felt bad and confided in her that this said cousin had paid bride price the previous Easter and we were planning a wedding. She was shocked as this young man was asking her for N5m to use and start a mutual investment. Imagine if she had not told me, she would have funded their wedding. Tell your friend you will be shocked at what you will find out. If your friend opposes the relationship respect it and move on. You will save yourself a lot of stress, If she feels you are too bad for her brother let the young man go so that the story of your escapades does not become family discussion. If she says that you are too good for the brother believe her she knows the young man better than you. A word is enough for the wise.
DeletePoster, what are you scared of? do you have skeleton in your cupboard? I don't see anything wrong here. If you love the guy well enough and you feel he is serious about you, then go ahead and give him a chance. Make sure your friend is aware too but not to the extent of discussing everything you do in your relationship with her. She may even be aware you're dating her brother and waiting for you to spill. I just hope she is a good friend tho cos if not, na one chance be that o
ReplyDeleteWell I don't know why some ladies feel the need to ask for permission before dating their friend'save sibling. When I was in secondary school, my very good friend started dating my brother, they were in the same class while I was a year their junior. I think it started during their final exams and they were required to be in school two weeks before the full resumption date. To my surprise, my friend knelt down and started crying that I should forgive her and hope I'm not offended that she started dating my brother without my consent. They dated for about two years and broke up. It's almost twenty years since we all left secondary school, we are all married with kids and she remains my best friend. Poster don't let friendship get on the way of love, the relationship might work out or collapse but you won't spend your life regretting and wondering what if...
ReplyDeleteThat she told you made things better I think......
DeleteThe people advising you to keep it under wraps don't like you. You want to blindside your friend and you think that this is right? You don't have to ask for permission. You can just say it jokingly or a hint. Or use a hypothetical question to know how she feels. Or just say that "your brother asked me out but I am thinking about it. Then watch her reaction. Don't say it like you are asking for her permission and don't start doing sister inlaw respect for her. Just act calm, polite but serious. Don't make her your enemy before she becomes your enemy if you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteWise advice
DeleteYeah I was going to tell the sister but then I felt it would be more pleasant if he told her himself... So I already told him to do that before anything can happen between us.
ReplyDelete👍🏾
DeleteTell the sister by yourself!.. if you are grown enough to be in a relationship then you are woman enough to tell her face to face. Woman up!
DeletePoster if you like Sarah's brother go ahead and date him, please don't part legs so early, do not give the pussy too soon. Make sure he really worth the pussy before he has a taste of it.
ReplyDeleteTry and tell Sarah that you and her brother are close, never you rush into conclusion that every relationship will end into marriage. Enjoy his company and fun while it last. Remember to use your power of pussy to handle this dude. Goodluck
Ronalda,i like the expression and the use of English... Nice write up
ReplyDeleteWe heard you, Ronalda.
Delete