Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Tuesday, December 03, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmm.........








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT AN EX BACK

Hi Stella,

I'm 30 year old female based in England......


 I've known this guy for almost 10 years now. Met him when I was 21 years old he is 13 years older than me (43 now) . 


we started off as friends and the time we met he was completing his PhD and I was doing my first degree. Looked up to him for advice every time I had boyfriend issues and life problems. having lost my father when I was young I think I sort of saw a father figure in him. 

We decided to give a relationship a go in 2014 as I single and recovering from a horrible heartbreak and he was single as well. I must have been 24. 

Our relationship was sort of okay though at times I questioned his love for me. He was there for me when I needed help and looking back I didn't give the relationship full commitment . 

I was introduced to all his friends who most of them are married. he wanted us to be intimate but never forced me -. I felt disrespected at times as he would be harsh in his opinion as apparently he found me immature at times - he is just a  straight forward person.


 Due to Circumstances, he moved to Africa for work and I refused to join him there though i visited once when I was missing him -. To be honest I didn't know what I really wanted to do with my life at that time and broke it off, we both moved on but maintained our friendship- we are very open with each other and always there for one another . 


He dated one girl after me but it didn't work out . As time would allow, his work sent him back to the UK for conference and we decided to meet-, my heart I though I had moved on so there was no harm. we spent the weekend together at his friends house-nothing intimate only kissing and cuddles . 


We even visited some of his friends with their families (the ones we knew back in the day and the new ones he introduced me as his girlfriend). when we went back to his friends house I opened up to him and he told me he was hurt when I broke the relationship and I explained to him why. His friend sort of advised us to work out our issues. 


He said he was single though I saw some random chats with some girls . He returned back to Africa and we maintained our communication and even spoke of contributing to business ventures together- I trust him with that. having spent the weekend with him surfaced all the feelings I had for him and if I have  to be honest I really love him . he is mature and we have good friendship .


 I've been trying to give him a hint that I want us to get back together but scared of rejection so I thought with time I would open up. Ever since he returned back we kept communication almost everyday and started making business plans until 3 weeks ago . He has been distanced would stay 2 weeks without saying anything until I confronted him about his silence . 

He just brushed it off and never got back . I don't know how to interpret his silence I'm strong Christian and have prayed to God to intervene. I'm not sure if its spiritual but God knows how this relationship meant for me and I would be heartbroken to loose him . I haven't been myself ever since . I've prayed and fasted about this issue. Being 30 this was my dream to have family with him but I don't know what to do now. I'm sad and depressed
please Stella bring your red pen!!!





*LOL @ Stella bring your red pen!!!...Na blue i get today.

Can you not call him on the phone and tell him that you want to get back together?if he rejects you at least you would know where you stand.

You are the one who called it off and gave him a strong mind to move on,if you still want him,ain't nothing wrong in saying so...

If you are the type of woman who believes a man MUST ASK YOU TO BE HIS GIRL FIRST,then the advice i am about to give is not for you and you go wait tire oh
Send him a message saying you are single and available and the only one you want is him.....He will reply and you will know!
Good luck!

113 comments:

  1. Tell him what you feel and brace yourself for any answer he will give you. I wish you good luck

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster- Good luck jare,i don't have any advice for you.
      You know him so well and you cant send him an SMS?
      Send him a MSG and know where you stand.

      Delete
    2. Already this man is giving d vibes dat he dsnt want u!
      I dmt kno which advice u are seeking again

      Delete
    3. Hes not into you. He knows you want him obviously, but he doesnt want you. Maybe bis heart is somewhere else or like me, when i stop loving you, its finished. Pls move on, na desperation dey cause you to look him side. Join tinder and find another boo pls

      Delete
    4. Hes not into you. He knows you want him obviously, but he doesnt want you. Maybe bis heart is somewhere else or like me, when i stop loving you, its finished. Pls move on, na desperation dey cause you to look him side. Join tinder and find another boo pls

      Delete
    5. Stella your red pen don finish?

      Delete
    6. Don't join tinder o na F boy full der. Join hinge sis and move on periodt!!!

      Delete
  2. Poster you want him back now coz you're 30 and thinks you're running out of time. If you were still 24, you still won't want him now. Plus, it's obvious he s in a serious relationship down here that's why he s not giving you the attention you need. And him going silent for 2 weeks means he's babe down here is already giving him hell as she must have noticed the frequent communication btw you both thus he's trying to make her see you're just his ex. Pls just let him go. This one is not yours, don't force it...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly! Shes having the 30s crisis most women have and regret all the men that were good to them in their 20s. In her case, this one was actually the best. See why it's good to show love to good men?

      Anyway, do as Stella said and if its doesnt work.... well, you tried. Period

      Delete
  3. How can you be sad and depressed over a man who isn't yours....even my hubby cannot make me depressed,much less a man who doesn't value me!
    My dear,you are single and you need to mingle.....stay woke!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, plus he's an adult and knows what green light is. If he wants you back, he would have asked you already...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely agree. Men always go for what they want. If he aint making moves, he is probably no longer interested. It worth the try though. I agree with Stella. Ask him. Especially since you were the one that messed up in the first place. You need to know where you stand.

      Delete
    2. Exactly... she blew it at first, now shes xpecting him to ask her out again, mtcheeeeeeeew

      Delete
  5. I do not want to come off as being negative but this ship sailed a long time ago. Plz move on. The fact that you are both going to do business together is not a sign.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Bini, To me, the man doesn't want her anymore and never wanted her. He wanted to get into her pants but poster wanted more, thankfully poster called it off and the man moved on. Forget all those things he said when you recently saw him and he calling you his girlfriend. He wanted somebody to sleep with while there. He was just trying his luck; sis move on.

      Delete
  6. So Kissing is not intimate kwa! ok na. Aunty Stella I miss youuuuu. School, family, work no gree me see road ooo. Much love for you sis.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol๐Ÿ˜‚.. its a form of greeting in France.
      #bonjourmonsieur

      Delete
    2. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ Benjamin you are a case.

      Delete
  7. Poster, he might have someone he is already dating back at base.
    call him and let him know your feelings so you won't end up wasting your time for nothing. All the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She should call him for what? Isn't it glaring he doesn't want her in his life? Mtcheww

      Delete
  8. chronicle of a girl becoming desperate as she approaches auntie gwegwegwe age.. Na now your day break abi?

    Better move on cose it seems uncle is in a committed relationship already.. All this 20 something girls this days, they'll be doing shakara that they're still young, before y say kpakam, 30 don meet them for their papa house.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 30 is the eye opener for them. They think they have time.

      Delete
    2. They wont learn from the mistakes of Rita, Ebube, Genev and others.... fine and single.

      Delete
    3. @Perkybobs, fact!
      But I'm wayyyy above 30 and my eye never clear ooo!๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
      I guess because I love hard and don't also take crap or compromise my happiness.

      Well, I look at life differently - keep it simple and give myself the best life ever.
      We get too busy living the life family and society dictates that we end up full of regrets for lost dreams when we are old or tied down.
      If or when I eventually get married, I want a small family - 1 or 2.
      I want to be able to give the best life and take my child/children to everywhere I go. That bonding must not suffer because of work or anything else. I got that much from my parents.

      Delete
    4. When reality done on you all those your living your best life will disappear from your brain.

      Delete
    5. it's *dawn* and please you are not her God. What are you expecting her to do, to go out there and force a man to the registry? It is not that she said she has a lot of men on her neck and she has been pushing them away so what the fuss about ehn? Or do you have a single brother you want to give her and she refused? Hook her up nau or remain silent and stop giving someone who is strong enough to not be pressured high blood pressure with your so called reality. People like you will push a woman into desperation she will marry a not so good man out of pressure then come here to write chronicles and you will still use the same mouth to tell her"aunty must you get married"? I am not the lady by the way, Yes I am married but all na to the glory of God. God will answer soon.

      Delete
    6. Anon 19:55 ten thousand likes to your comment. Good one!!!

      Delete
  9. You're still confused.
    You've just hit your set target to start a family, and hes the closest guy you've had to a husband, so the "available" is suddenly the desired.... guess what? Hes not available, oh well i'm sure his heart isnt, as a guy, he can see the bread crumbs ure dropping for him to follow, the subtle lines hinting "2nd chance".. hes not buying what ure selling! It wouldnt work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very simple. He ain't buying it.
      The worst thing you can do to yourself now is lower standards because you dreamt of having a family at this age.

      Men smell desperation.

      Delete
  10. Stella, your blue pen is fine.
    Poster, by now you are old enough to know what you want.
    Talk with him about the subject, so you know where you stand and thereby order your life.
    But be rest assured, it's not going to be business as usual. The separation has taken it's toll. It's possible someone else is in the picture, and you two just caught up on old feelings, as distance makes the heart fonder.
    But then still you won't know unless you ask and also read the handwriting on the wall.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Now you are 30, feeling desperate already?
    As for the business you plan to go into with him, please don’t do it. I think he’s still hurt the way you broke things off and I don’t think he’d want to get back with you. I guess he’s seeing someone else and would not tell you about it.
    What you feel is not love, it’s desperation to want to settle down and you think since you have known him forever, you can live with him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly, I feel the same way, Poster, do not go into any business with him.
      You are still young, do not be desperate, just keep being a good Girl, try to forget this guy, please. If you have anything with this guy- business, relationship, you would regret it, let him GO. Go out more, meet People, you will eventually meet the man for you. This one is DOA.Cheers!

      Delete
  12. Shoot your shot, in redvigor's voice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bad Child
      LOL

      Delete
    2. See where her arrow land her na.

      Delete
    3. you mean the said lady was publicly boosting that she shoot her shot? Oh no the man will feel that everyone will say she married him not the other way round.

      Delete
  13. I chuckle at how you make excuses for him at every given paragraphs. Don't you think if he wants you he will be the one feeling the way you are feeling right now? He has moved on. You prayed to God but gave God direction. How can you be telling God who you want to marry instead of asking him to give you wwho he wants you to marry? When God is silent he is still talking.
    Why did he expect you to leave everything from your end and follow him to Africa, don't you have a life of your own as a single woman? Not even his wife and he expected such a move from you.


    All those hints you are giving him, the green lights and the red ones, tryst me, he sees them but can't reciprocate because he feels nothing for you. That's the bitter truth not what you hope to hear but someone has to spell it out for you. You aren't getting younger start stretching your wings so you can see beyond your nose. ๐Ÿšถ‍♂️

    ReplyDelete
  14. I believe having been friends for a long time he wants something new coupled with the fact that you played on and off previously which might have made him loose interest in the whole thing..but continue to push you never can tell. If in the end it doesn't work out,dust your cv and move on yours will find you

    ReplyDelete
  15. All this talk of “I trust him with that” is what is doing my head in. Not saying you shouldn’t trust your “friend” or “lover” but I don’t think going into a joint business will be the best approach especially with the big elephant in the room - your feelings which may or may not get hurt. This is how women entrust your money and time to men who wouldn’t do same. He may be intelligent and wise but c’mon babe he is 43 years old.

    Are you sure you like this guy or you just want to be with someone because “you are 30 and planned to start a family”? Sometimes, we think someone is right for us because we have chosen to settle and overlook their Issues. If this man really likes you and wants to be with you, he’d open his mouth and talk.

    When I met my current partner, I friendzoned him for over a year. Always told him “you are like a brother to me” oh well now he is doing things to me that my brother can’t do ๐Ÿ˜‰ and this is because he persisted and showed me he meant business. I don’t care what you might have said to him when you were breaking things off but for him to just swallow it and “move on” just shows how far he is willing to go to have and keep you.

    My honest verdict, is that “he is not into you”. He may just settle with you like you want to if you bring up the topic. I’m not old school but this your case looks like one you’d regret if you persist. You are depressed because of a man that is not losing sleep over you. Wake up and smell the coffee, your man is just around the corner if you’d persevere and wait.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you...Exactly my thoughts..

      Delete
    2. Around which corner? Pls be specific so she goes to check for him, no time to waste

      Delete
    3. Dopple Dopple, you're so on point.๐Ÿ˜˜

      Poster, you were young at 24 and being unsure of what you wanted at that age was okay.
      At 43 he is still single - from the heartbreak you caused him or he hasn't met any lady good enough?
      That man is probably not serious about settling down yet.

      It's your choice to either tell him you want him as a hubby or not but God is SILENT! Just know you are going solo!

      Which do you prefer? To hear from God or to hear from your ex?

      Delete
    4. We got to be easy with our contribution and suggestion. Never say never, it might turn out to be good . It doesn’t make her less Human to express her feelings. If he declines, she will have to move on. She doesn’t have anything to loose.

      Delete
  16. You have hurt the man. So, the only reasonable advice for you is that you should eat the humble pile and come down from your high horse.

    Apologize to him, let him know you love him and will love to settle down with him. You may use a special day in his life like his birthday or festive period to do this.

    Just ensure you apply wisdom while doing it but let him know you are apologetic.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Girl pick that phone and tell him exactly how you feel, with all honesty. And if he rejects you, then fine, atleast you never hid your feelings. Do it today and stop fluctuating

    ReplyDelete
  18. My dear there is nothing wrong in asking him if you guys can get back together since you are the one who broke it off in the first place
    ...but it seems ego won't allow you to ask him (no be only man get ego even woman get sef)but first ask him why he stopped communicating for 2 weeks,cos that's such a long time.
    Be open to him tell him you want him back patapata he will reject you.
    But atleast you were bold enough to ask him and your mind will be at peace as long as you know where you stand.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Please poster I'm sure he must have been talking to some other lady or ladies. He can't just jump back to you like that it will take a little time. Please open up to him. Let him know how you feel about him but don't sound or look desperate. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mmmmmhhh, "I am a strong Christian and have prayed to God to intervene?"
    ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
    Intervene and do what?
    Did God tell you that this is the man he has for you or is it desperation due to "(perceived) age" that
    is beclouding your spiritual reasoning?
    He moved to Africa and you are still in the UK, and you want both of you together, are you ready to move to
    Africa now?
    yes, because "marriage" is what you have in your head/agenda right now.

    I often find Christians making this mistake of praying for some matters and going ahead to do it (their own way).
    One lady who was having issues in her marriage and headed towards divorce after she was duped of a huge amount told me...
    I asked her, did you seek God concerning this man before you married him?
    her answer to my ajuju was "I told the Lord about it" ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
    I replied -Just like your toddler will
    tell you "mummy, I am going to the soup pot to take a piece of chicken..." and when you keep quiet,
    she goes ahead and you find her eating chicken?
    Yes, this is how a lot of us treat our "supposed" relationship with Jesus.
    If you pray for something, be patient to understand his will. If he says do not go, don't go.
    Now, you are a "Very strong Christian," is this dude "a Christian" too?
    Please answer my sincere ajujus sincerely for your own benefits.๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. during your time how did God speak to you after waiting for him for answers. I believe you know that there are different ways God speaks to us. How do men and women know which way God is leading after praying for a spouse. It's not enough to say wait for answers. How will the answer come

      Delete
    2. @DeHeroine

      Thanks for your sincere ajujus:

      John 10: 4When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of
      them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5But they
      will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because
      they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.”

      My own ajujus; Do you know your dad's voice, don't even infants/toddlers do???
      If you are a follower of Jesus (his sheep), why do you think knowing his voice/ways
      he speaks or leads is difficult?

      Please develop a personal relationship with Jesus through fasting/praying/Study of the Scripture
      It is the Christians culture/character to do so.
      In my own case (answering your question), I had days in the week (least busy) when I fast
      I also mentioned that between Christmas and N/year, I separate myself to fast/seek him.
      If you read his teachings on fasting; Matthew 6, he said "When you fast..."
      Do you as a Christian have "when you fast?"
      Other Scriptures that may help you: Romans 8:14, Job 33:14 to end, Isaiah 59:1
      May the Lord lead you and speak to you in a peculiar way you will understand him. ๐Ÿ™๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ˜˜

      Delete
    3. ANG thumbs up for this comment! ๐Ÿ‘

      Delete
    4. thanks for your sincere iza ajuju

      Delete
  21. 3 weeks ago, he found someone. He has been distancing himself because he's in a new relationship and doesn't want to be distracted.

    You had your chance, sis. Don't ruin his brand new relationship with prayer and fasting. ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜’

    ReplyDelete
  22. I may be wrong but his recent silence may point to a new relationship which he's wholly invested in. I would suggest you somehow ensure there's no new girl in his life so you don't get stringed. Wish you all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  23. My dear be bold and always define your relationship...You guys should sit down and talk like adults..Dont be confrontational...Just ask him and from his response, you will know the way to goand stop putting pressure on yourself..You are 30 so what?? Look men are now very intentional about the women they want to marry, so you need to up your game and maintain the standard you want..A man will come that you will make feel no doubt about his stance about you....All the best..

    ReplyDelete
  24. Don't send any message. Try to get him off your mind, you'll be fine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is the most underrated comment in this whole thread! You better face your front! Wait can somebody explain what it is with Nigerian women and turning 30? I'm 36, happily unmarried and childless. Never ever have I been bothered. Ever! Please move on. There are plenty other men out there.

      Delete
    2. 36?
      Unmarried??
      Childless???
      Happily comfortable??
      Its either youre lying or youve entered into a defence mechanism mode... aka I cant kill masef

      Delete
    3. Anon 16:09, please be honest. You've never been bothered that you're unmarried and childless? Never? Let's say you've been ready to settle down by age 30, you've honestly never been bothered for the last 6 years?

      All these "there's plenty other men out there" isn't true if you're talking about the good straight forward ones. Especially the ones you would consider who are single and probably from 37 years and above.

      Delete
    4. Benjamins don't think everyone is crazy about or desperate to get married.
      Anon 16:09 is not the only one. I am older, single, no child and happy.

      Delete
  25. ๐Ÿ˜‚ na blue pen you get today.
    Poster, it may sound weird and may be hard to do but you just have to let him know how you feel.
    You never can tell, he may still have feelings for you but not able to admit it because of what happened the first time.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Lmao! Stella, you are indeed a character, I like your kind of person. Imagine the blue pen, the red is finished or what?

    Dear poster, tell him how you feel. It's hard to find an unattached 43year old man. He might have a family now or be seriously involved with someone. He hasn't just been sitting down quietly in Africa all these years. Take Stella's advice but brace yourself.

    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Please my fellow BVs, when people say they have never been intimate but only kiss and cuddle, what do they mean? Asking for ANG๐Ÿ™„

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It means kiss and cuddle is nothing to them, like a hand shake.

      Delete
    2. They haven't put something inside something

      In the voice of one MIA BV

      Delete
  28. To be honest, I feel he is in a relationship now and it may be serious. For him to go for weeks without talking to you then he's talking to someone else. Open up to him, if he rejects you at least you can move on faster.

    ReplyDelete
  29. lol! Stella straight to the point.
    No beating about the bush.
    Hope poster is matured now ooo.

    ReplyDelete
  30. You're scare of rejection? What if he's also scared of being rejected a second time?

    Since you say you guys are very open with each other, then go ahead and let him know how you feel..Being rejected is not the end of the world you know..

    All the best....

    ReplyDelete
  31. Stella is correct. You have nothing to lose asking him. I know a cousin who had a similar story. Guess what, she eventually married the man and he has been the husband she always dreamt of. Now she regrets all the wasted years but I assure her God had a reason for the long time wait.
    Bear in mind tho, he may have someone else in the pipeline. Get yo man sis!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Stella the love doctor ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

    ReplyDelete
  33. Poster please let him know how you feel. Dont keep back your emotions. It will be well and what will be will be

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oh girl, follow this blue pen and know your fate. I have not seen anybody die from rejection. At least you will be able to move on or move in.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Why do you guys follow oyibo to call a city or country in the continent Africa? If it were to be a European or US country, you would be specific.

    Stop it, please.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Gbam Stella! You have said it all!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Shoot your shot babe. It’s either a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. Life continues

    ReplyDelete
  38. Tell him how you feel, also make sure he knows ur stand and find out if there is anybody he is with now. In very calmly manner

    ReplyDelete
  39. A girl proposing to a man is a waste of womanhood
    Tell them that God said it:
    He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains
    favor from the Lord Proverbs 18:22
    Why didn't God say, she that finds a husband...?
    ๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿฆƒ๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "A girl proposing to a man is a waste of womanhood". What kind of person are you?

      First, she's not proposing to the man. Second, all the relationships and marriages that ended badly, did the women make the first move? Are there not horrible marriages that began with the man chasing the woman like she's the best thing since sliced bread?

      That's how you women would be loosing good men just because of this archaic reasoning.

      Delete
    2. @17:28
      The fact that a man finds a woman to marry does not mean that
      the marriage will be successful. They both have to work it out
      with God's help; i.e. following the principle that God laid out
      in the Scriptures. If they do not and it scatters, they have themselves to blame
      Just like a person who scores 350 in Jamb does not mean he/she will
      have a smooth sail in the university. There are works to do for success.

      Delete
  40. When a man decides to keep his distance,most times it means he is no longer interested..
    If you want to be double sure and get closure as well,become direct and ask..

    ReplyDelete
  41. Na blue pen stella get today**** this stella is a comedian.

    ReplyDelete
  42. It hurts when love isn't reciprocate d,follow Stella's advice and brace up for the outcome,good or bad,best wishes

    ReplyDelete
  43. Get the next flight to Africa and reclaim your mandate. No time, Babes are not smiling here.
    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pls dont waste that ticket, guy man has moved

      Delete
  44. Shoot your shot babe, tell him how feel about him and that you truly love him , whatever he tells you, Take it as it is, if he says "Yes" then fine, but if he says "No" then let him be and move on. Your Man would locate you.

    ReplyDelete
  45. What's with this he is a new relationship because he stopped communicating can't you guys just think he might be going through some stuffs....na wa ooo when someone stops communicating you all just assume there is a lady or guy somewhere...try and think outside the box sometimes, its not all guys or ladies who doesn't communicate are in a relationship and I have noticed that's one of the most advice bvs gives out anytime someone isn't communicating with the partner.
    Make una easy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ he is in a relationship..

      Come n beat me๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

      Delete
    2. He isn't going through shit! That man doesn't want her, period!
      Poster, pls be strong and get him off your head. A better man will come in no time

      Delete
    3. Ola I am coming...๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

      Perxain:Apparently you were looking for an error thanks anyway can we now move on.

      Shooter gyal:I'm not saying he is in a relationship or not just making a generalization of the advice made often by bvs.

      Delete
    4. I don't know why most of you don't like being corrected. Instead if you to say thank you, rara oo you chose to take it personally.
      As if tomorrow you won't refrain from making similar mistake thanks to perxian's correction.
      Would you have preferred you make the mistake in front of a crowd or on here were nobody sees your face? Eyin ti e le mo sha ni tiyin jare.

      Delete
    5. Anon 19:38 and you couldn't understand thats not her trying to make correction,she was just being sarcastic.... She shouldn't play that game with me.

      Delete
  46. Call him and tell him how you feel about him. If he is willing to accept fine, if not no challenge.
    Life is too short to be unhappy ma.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Poster, kindly talk things over with him about ur feelings & see how it goes..if he reject u well fine but at least u will be rest assured that u tried

    ReplyDelete
  48. It’s hard for a man to stay 3 weeks without communicating with a female, I think I he has someone and maybe u became an issue.. maybe the girl noticed ur text or call and he decided to distant himself from u gradually.. I wouldn’t advice u ask him anything cos some men don’t tell a woman they have someone,because survey are not married nd want to play the wait and see game , what if this one doesn’t work game. Pls spread ur tenet axle and find someone else but if u insist u want to ask him if u guys can be in a relationship, be sure that he won’t give up any relationship he has in Nigeria because of u , reasons being that , he can see the girl physically in Nigeria and u have hurt him before end he won’t take chances or put his eggs in one basket

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  49. Lol. You're doing business plans with man you want to marry and cos you're not talking, he will assume you don't want him. Cos he'll tell himself that you didn't mince words when you threw him away before (it's how he will say it, oh) and that you'll be bold to say if you really want him now.

    Your chronicle is triggering me cos some elements are sounding familiar (without the getting physical part). This rough play you're doing is how I nearly threw away my husband. My husband is one of the most intelligent men I know. We talked about a lot of stuff (including starting a Foundation and other stuff together); our ideas were so similar, we were completing each other's sentences. What he still doesn't know is - it was easy for me to understand what he envisioned cos I already had most of those ideas written down as stuff to do with my future husband.

    He had already told me at least a year before how he felt about me. Apart from "she has sense and gets what I'm trying to do", he felt working with mw was the only way to have me in his life cos according to him, I didn't want him. Where/how he got that totally false and horrible idea, I don't know. It dawned on me during one of our brainstorming sessions, that I couldn't do it; I wasn't about to pour my heart and soul into something that would mean so much to us, then risk seeing him marry another woman who would profit directly from it cos he believed I didn't want him like that. But I didn't know how to tell him without sounding like I was giving him an ultimatum, so I told him to get lost. He didn't understand why I did it & I wasn't in the mood to explain.

    Time passed cos you can't mess with divine timing and a lot of stuff happened (we both had serious health scares). But this morning, I came across an email I sent him some years ago. The anniversary is even tomorrow. To this day, I still remember feeling very strongly led to send him that email, as soon as I woke up that morning. Told him I loved him, too.

    That email was the catalyst for what I could never have anticipated in my wildest dreams. Long story short - calls were made, things were said, families and town elders got involved, and we got married the month after that email. Me sef, I shock.

    Please, don't allow your village people do you strong tin. Your being abroad doesn't make you immune to them - they don't need visa. If this is your husband, may your tongue (or fingers) be loosened in Jesus' Name. There's nothing wrong with doing business with your husband but we do not "business partner zone" husband that God sends, please. This is worse than friend zone. I didn't say you should propose, oh. But may you find the right words.

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  50. Are you sure this isn't a case of "when the desirable is not available, the available becomes desirable?". Darling, if what you guys shared were true love, he would ALWAYS be in your mind and you in his, even if you both are in other relationships. Ever heard of the phrase "the one that got away"? Yeah, that's an ex you hold higher than every other. You still hold him as the yardstick to measure your current partner. Unlike this ex of yours, that a chanced encounter seemed to ignite old passion.

    Like you stated, when you guys were dating, the relationship wasn't all that, no epic love story, just the regular mundane relationship. So honey why, pray tell, do you want him back? Why settle for mediocrity? I can assure you that he seems more attractive now because he is playing hard to get. If he decides to become available again, before long, you will tire of the relationship and start craving something new and exciting. Suddenly, all the flaws he had that caused the breakup will become prominent and the folly of your decision to hookup will be manifestly evident.

    You want to attain your goal of settling down and starting a family, but don't you care that the right guy isn't available yet? Darling, with all the stories you read here, are you that brave to take a chance on someone who doesn't seem to want what you want? Trust me, if he considered you the one that got away, he would have made his move and it would have been like the relationship never ended. Don't be too quick to applaud him for his restraint, that he didn't initiate sex may be that he really isn't that into you. True, some men are extremely disciplined but trust me, when it comes to the lady they desire, it wouldn't be that easy. Some may not want to be around to avoid temptation. You guys were intimate because you shared kisses and cuddles yet he didn't crave sex with you after years of being apart? Should he have wanted you badly but you would be the one prevent it? It's not like you guys were ever in a sexless relationship, you would have stated that you were celibate while you guys dated. Hmmmm... he should fight temptation, it shouldn't be that easy, especially when kissing and cuddling were part of the equation.

    Sweetheart, pray that God should bring the bone of your bones to you. Don't select for yourself then fast and pray for God to endorse your choice. I don't believe this is the man for you, but hey! What do I know? I wish you a very happy life ahead.
    e-hugs and kisses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know too well my dear..ur admirer

      Delete
  51. Abeg beevees, I am currently on an internship abroad for 6 months as part of my school program here. Internship is within my field and I love it but it is not paid and I had to move to another city. Hubbie is working himself extra because now we have two rents to pay plus different living expenses as he is in a different city.

    The problem now it's the first month and i am avoided and no work is directly given to me,the owner looks at me somehow and frowns when I pass by,when I am on my system there is one guy always hovering around me to see what I am doing on my system.

    My fellow interns that we started together get work assigned to them now and for future projects but me nothing and they too have started treating me somehow too.I don't know what to think,its a learning experience and i can swear I have not offended anyone. I believe that this is supposed to make me learn new things but the reverseis the case here. I am thinking of quiting the internship as I no dey learn anything for one month now and its affecting my mental state and the sacrifice of leaving my husband is not worth it.

    Abeg what should i do?
    If someone has experienced such, abeg how did you cope in such situation?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 17:21, is it a case or racism?

      Is it possible for you to do your internship in your husband's city, so he wouldn't have to work two jobs?

      If you're not getting anything from there, quit and have your peace of mind.

      Delete
  52. Poster, there's nothing wrong with calling him and letting him know you're available since you were the one who broke up the relationship in the first place. You're a 30 year old adult for crying out loud. It's better you know where you stand so you can move on if there's no hope there. A lot of people may say he should make the first move but i don't think it applies here. Besides, there are some women who made the first move and they are happily married today. That there are examples with a negative result doesn't make it bad. Some relationships/marriages have ended badly when the man made the first move too.

    If he agrees, awesome. But keep sex out of the picture as a true christian. Pray about it too.

    ReplyDelete
  53. He has moved on but he can still tell you lies in order to activate Okafor's law.

    Remove him from your mind and start loving yourself. Go out and meet new people, eat healthy, exercise, dress sharp, go on solo vacations, develop your career, eat out alone, take lots of professional photos as Lizzo sang ๐ŸŽถnew photos with the bomb lighting๐ŸŽถ. Him and anyone who is genuinely interested will notice how much you are worth and pursue you.

    Ps.. aimo iye prayer and fasting plus putting picture inside scriptures ๐Ÿ˜‚ e nor dey work except the feeling is organically mutual. If God doesn't answer your prayers it will pain you and you will now start quarelling with God ๐Ÿ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  54. Dear poster I don't blame your guy for ghosting you. I'm sure he was already falling for you but had to force himself to ghost you just so he can kill that feeling because he is probably scared of a second heart break. You broke up with him and that must have left him devasted! We all know how painful breakup can be and nobody wants it a second time from same person. Poster ones beaten twice shy. You can't eat your cake and have it.

    ReplyDelete

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