Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

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Saturday, May 09, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

Hmmmmm.......












STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ABROAD HUSBAND AND IN LAW ISH


Good day Stella,thanks for the amazing job you are doing God bless you.


When I married my husband, he told me that he doesn't have money for rent so we should stay in his parents house( in a face me a slap you house),life became unbearable because he wasn't working and we were depending on my little salary.


I practically took care of him, bought him everything he needed. His parents were very happy that he is being taken care of, I washed, swept and cooked for my in-laws every day so this made them very happy with me.


Fast Forward in 2019, he got a job and we were cool,he applied for a US visa and it came through.He promised me that he will come for me and I believed him.

He would video call his parents and his siblings and he wouldn't bother to ask of me,when it's was my birthday or our anniversary, he won't call me.


One day, he called me with a different number and said he doesn't want me again and I'm not a good woman and that his mother said he shouldn't marry me again because I'm not a good woman for him.


I wept and apologize to my husband that even if I have wronged him in anyway he should forgive me because i was there for him when he didn't have anything, I stood by him when even his own parents calls him useless, and my husband said his mind is made up.


I was at work one afternoon, when my sister called me to say my sister in law came to pack my husband's belongings from my room, that day when I came back from work, I greeted them and entered my room to cry.


This my sister in-law, will insult me and say unprintable words to me and she will tell her brother (my husband) that I have insulted her and he will believe her. This is a family I sacrificed alot for, buy them gifts, money,and what have you.


I didn't hear from him for a while,so one day I was advising my younger sister in my room not to marry and stay in a family house not knowing my mother in law was standing at my window and heard everything. she told my husband and they ejected me from the room.


My father in-law told me that, my husband said he shouldn't let me take our air conditioning, kitchen cabinet and deep freezer, so they took away everything and they are using it now. My Father in law had fixed the air conditioning in his room, the fridge and kitchen cabinet in his kitchen. 


 Stella, these are things I helped my husband buy with my money oo.


My father in-law packed my bags into the rain ,all my clothes were soaked with water and people told him to stop but he didn't mind. My husband blocked me on all his social media handles.


My husband called my father that he wants divorce and my father in-law should stand in as him to dissolve our marriage because we only did traditional marriage and he wants to take our son to his mother.

Stella, please what should I do.



*If he wants a divorce,let him have it,he might have married to get his papers...that is how most behave when they travel...
let him go without stress but please hold unto your son else you will not see him again.
What a pity!!!

147 comments:

  1. I stopped reading when you said you married a jobless man!..
    Who does that?..
    Where I come from,the first question we ask any man coming to marry our daughter is his source of income!..
    Who enters poverty with her koro koro eyes bikonu?...
    Which kain nonsense love is this?....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very sad something.... There's a difference between not earning much and being jobless all together. Hope can a jobless man take care of a family? Very sad

      Delete
    2. Hmmm. This might sound shallow but it's actually deep

      Delete
    3. Stella I'm angryoooo. I advice the poster to go diabolical on them and you didn't post my comment. Dan Allah post my comment coz I'm provoking

      Delete
    4. Hmmmmm what a chronicle!!!! Poster, why are they maltreating you like this? Are you sure you didn't do something wrong in the past that they are aware of? It's time for you to keavevthst house and take your son along with you. I dont even know what you are still going there receiving all the embarrassment and insults. Thank God you have a job. Your son is your only source of joy right now. Don't let them take him away from you. Bdw don't you have family members that can fight for you? You can't fight this battle alone you know. But first things first, leave that toxic environment asap!!!

      Delete
    5. Too many red flags 🚩!!!!! Firstly u married a jobless and broke man ? ( when will women have sense and learn) , secondly you only did traditional wedding ? What planet are you on , trust me the man is married with a family abroad already , he can even bring her to Nigeria and marry her legally and you will have nothing on him, 3rd you still lived with your parents in law and their family after the wedding? See finish will enter and then icing on the cake he travelled out with bland promises . Dear woman let it go ... there is really is no advise here except do not be STUPID enough to give the mother your son, you will NEVER EVER in this life see that child again or have access to him again . I wish u the best as u heal. Pray to God too.

      Delete
    6. Things some people do for love. Their is love and common sense. To have a successful marriage/relationship, you must combine the two.
      It is well.

      Delete
    7. Well, I wish we could hear from the husbands side, because no story is told with condemnation from the story teller.

      However, getting married to such a family either as a man or as a woman is a 50/50 chance of good character.

      It’s okay to marry a broke man or woman but, more dangerous to marry a timid (local) man or woman and these set of families are very common in Nigeria due to poverty and poor education.to them their son is in heaven.

      Now, to my advise. Let your husband have your son, give them a fight to have him(son) and that will make your husband rush to bring the boy over to the USA. You dint tell us the age of your son, it would be better if he is above 7yrs old.if he is above 7 then talk to him,tell him daddy is going to take him away,but mommy loves him and will try all her best to get him back. It will be difficult to let him go,but we all know he will have a better life overseas than in Nigeria and have it in mind that In no time he will turn 18 and will have all his rights. Get your husband email address,send mail to Him begging for your son and how much you love and miss the boy, these mail is what you will Keep to fight and turn the boy against him when he turns 18, you will show the email as evidence of your fight and love for him,sure your husband will never tell the boy you sent those emails and the boy will be so vexed at his father for hiding it from him.all this you will do only if your husband try to turn him against you if not you don’t have need for it later on.

      Get your grove back,get another man get married and be happy and wait for the right time ,your son will surly look for you, who knows, he may be your own pass to that same USA they think is heaven.

      Delete
    8. All hail the queen, always appearing and disappearing, you don hit the nail for head.

      Delete
    9. Anon 16:16 what kind of long epistle plan is that?? How do you know her young son will be treated right there?? Poster why did you marry a jobless man living with his parents?? What kind of desperation or stupid love is that? When your husband started acting funny is when you should have plotted your move and taken your son with you..let him now look for you. Now you have played into their hands. Take your son anyhow you can and leave him ....posterity will surely judge him. Do not leave your son for anybody.

      Delete
    10. Very nonsense love. I really feel for the poster.

      Dear poster, the deed has been done. It's obvious your husband and his family members used you. Never worry, they will get their rewards soon.

      Please,grant him the divorce and move out of that environment.
      Your son's custody will be a battle as I don't think they will let you have him.
      I feel so sad for you.

      Delete
    11. You were a desperate woman, they just treated you like a rag because you made yourself look like one. The man has married for paper. Move on.

      Delete
    12. Women will blame her for marriage a jobless man, same wen will call her Gwegwegwe if she didn't pretend with a ring and scream ' my husband',
      All in all. It's unhealthy situation u need to get out from and move on

      Delete
    13. Anonymous 16:16 Are you sick? Is this how you advice people?? please up coming Chronicle don't type anything. Poster don't take Anonymous 16:16 advice.

      Delete
    14. Chai this your story touch me oooo, they are wicked set of people. What of your own family members. Madam for now get your self a place to stay even if na 1 room self contain, u can weep all you want but just make sure you get back up for yourself and your son. There is more to life the best payback is to look Good and have lots of achievements without them. Do not drop your son with them o, na beg I dey beg. Chai i feel your pain

      Delete
    15. I guess that she married because of pregnancy.

      Delete
    16. When most women r d sole providers in marriage, they often act irrational and utterly disrespectful.
      Men habour hurt alot, then say na wen . An get money, u go c them real xter.
      Poster ya story is just one side, let ur husband speak then we go balance this talk

      Delete
    17. 16:16 you must be a demon from the anus of Satan. Geddifok with this useless rubbish smelling talk. If you nothing sensible to say, winter you chew groundnut?

      Madam, don't release your son to anybody. Ever.
      You will NEVER see him again.
      Not only that, they will so spoil you in his mind that your son will HATE you for life.

      Delete
    18. Thank God you are doing something, leave the house with your son without them knowing. You caused this, pls pray to God to help you as you move forward.

      Delete
    19. TAKE THIS LEGAL ADVISE

      It is absurd that most women don't know their rights in marriage. The said guy can be dealt with and people will learn not to misbehave in this way.
      1. Get a good lawyer, gather all evidence you need including pictures showing all the traditional marriage done and naming ceremony and all receipts.
      2. USA frowns at bigamy and you can write US embassy in Lagos stating your case. If the said guy is married in us then you have a case my sister and stop begging the guy.
      3. Do not leave your child to the family, hold your head high and get ready for a better life ahead of you.
      Do not let the so called family belittle you.

      Delete
  2. So sorry. Just be strong okay. So pathetic

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't even know what to say,your husband is heartless!!! I pray God consoles you and give you a good man,wherever your husband is,they'll deport him. I'll take his matter to the coven. Yes i said it!!!!

      Delete
    2. What exactly is the need for this chronicle? I thought chronicles are for people in dicey situations and need advice on decision making.

      In this case, this matter has been concluded except that you make sure you take your child with you.

      I wish you all the best. Don't forget "SUNNY SIDE UP". Be positive and that your job, face it like your life depends on it. Give your job your best and extra. The universe has a way of making anything you focus your extra energy on get bigger and bigger. Wear a smile and trust me, the worst is over. Don't focus your energy on finding another man o. A good man will find you when the time is right so you don't attract your ex's type again. 1. Your job. 2. Yourself. 3. Your son. That is all. Be thankful and be hopeful for better days ahead.

      Delete
    3. I dont know why you sacrificed so much. What kind of love is this? I dont want this kind biko.
      I dont care what you do but hold your son tight.
      Just disappear, dont tell anyone where you go, disappear with your son.
      Karma will surely come for them.

      Delete
    4. Nawa o. Must you marry? Who marries a jobless man?very soon she will say at 25 age wasnt on her side.
      Its not good to marry into a poverty stricken family,they are always full of envy if the woman is doing well. Imagine old man highjacking AC and freezer. God forbid i enter into an hungry family.
      I dont even have advice sef.

      Delete
    5. Grant the divorce, take ur son and leave!
      Then....

      Curse them!
      Make sure u curse them!
      Like how can I suffer and buy things, yet I'm forced to give them out? Such wicked people. If na me,I will curse them till my very last drop of blood! None will go free!

      U poster, shebi u were desperate to marry? That's y u marry broke wicked man! Now look what dey hav turned u into
      Mtchew!

      Delete
  3. Poster sending hugs to you right now some men ain't worth the stress we go through,cry and get over it always be happy go out meet people.he will meet his water loo,dont forget to put hand in your vagina and swear for him...hugs you wee be alright las las

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster, in one sentence; you are an idiot!
      I've never seen anyone who loves rubbish like you!
      While you're "putting your hand in your vagina and swearing for him" the young man would also be "holding his penis and swearing for you" for your stupidity...

      Delete
    2. Dear poster, your in-laws are right you are not a good woman. How do you enable a mans laziness to such extent. You knew he was broke yet married him and then move in with the laws to continue to provide for them as the messiah that you are.

      This your story is annoying. Are you also blind,That you Cannot see the handwriting on the wall. Poster, move on

      Delete
  4. I'm just angry about this chronicle. Poster if you like, wait for Karma that'll never come. Better be their karma...visit a native doctor if you have to and curse them. I can't be treated this treated this way by pple i suffered for and theyll get away with it. As for your son, anyone of them that nears him, send SANGO...like i said, there's nothing like KARMA ooooo. Take vengeance yourself

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please don’t take this advice oooo. Vengeance is the Lord’s. Don’t complicate your life. I plea the blood of Jesus on myself and this comment......

      Delete
    2. Dont visit any native doctor and compound issues for yourself! Curse them and leave period!

      Delete
    3. This is the reason I dnt PITY men. I will never suffer for any human being especially men. They are scum nd they dnt worth it.

      Delete
  5. This might be jazz at work, how can the whole family just turn against you like that all of a sudden? Even if your husband does not want to marry you again, at least there should be someone reasonable in the family who would stand for you considering all you did for him. For all of them to be acting this way, something is fishy. This is not ordinary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You never see devilish in-laws. The people on her behalf can be the ones that do not matter much. You see wicked father and mother inlaws,they can do an undo

      Delete
    2. Which jazz. Abegie it is just a bad family. And madam you stayed too long sef. As you started seeing their body language change you should have started preparing yourself to move out. You too dull for the matter. Abegie madam, leave that family and move to another state. Free the man completely. You will be 100 times bigger than that family by God's infinite mercies

      Delete
    3. No jazz, they are a greedy lot. Only thinking about dollars their guy will send now he's in the abroad. Deluded fools.
      They will make a shameful end if they do not recompense her.

      Delete
    4. she sold herself cheap to them

      Delete
    5. You people give jazz too much credit abeg. Human beings are selfish and some are wicked on top. The guy is unkind to her, where dyou think he got his genes from? His parents. I've dated a guy like this with poor yet wicked family. Cream chic like me they wanted to drag into their yamayama. I ran. So I believe her.

      Delete
    6. Rainbow not everything is jazz. It is just who they are. They never truly loved her. They just loved the idea of a grown man who didn't have to depend on them but had his wife. One who did their chores. It is sort of similar with Adah in buchi Emecheta's ‘second class citizen’. They loved Adah because she had a good job. Could take care of their son, assist the family and contribute to send him Abroad. When she wanted to join him abroad they didn't like it. It was just sheer wisdom that helped her. In the end she was still branded a bad woman for getting all she ever did. This posters in-laws now have an abroad son and probably feel ‘oh he's our Abroad son and not your abroad husband’. They want to reap the fruits to where they didn't sow much. The poster should forget about them and keep her son. Handing him over will be a grave mistake.

      Delete
    7. Nothing like Jazz or Juju there, people are as mean and evil as the poster described up there. They all knew she was helpless and vulnerable and so the evil genie in them all arose to inflict suffering on that poor woman.No need Poster for you to swear for anyone, let him go, but he will meet his Waterloo, I know how these things end!

      Delete
    8. Not really a jazz. Same thing happened to my aunt, only that she didn't give birth to the guy.

      She got married at 21 and d husband travelled out of the country 6 months after. He was coming home every December and my sister was staying in d family house. My family was not happy with the guy and he was called to take his family to wherever he was then, coming to Nigeria to spend only 2 weeks was not acceptable to my family. My aunt was staying with his parents, the guy promised to take her when things improved.I can't go into details of what she went through with his family.

      When my sister was 31, d guy wrote a letter that my aunt should forgive him, that in order to settle down abroad, he had to marry and already had kids. His family knew all this all along.My aunt was without child.

      My family took care of my aunt, asked to relocate. She relocated at 32.Had her first and only child at 42. Her child will be 8yrs on her 50th birthday later in d year.

      Delete
    9. See why the other woman poisoned her own men will shock you wicked souls

      Delete
    10. You haven't seen a useless family. My sister married into one,nobody has sense in that family. Thank God she no free chop shit

      Delete
    11. Who jazzes a poverty-stricken family living in face me, i slap you?
      Please say something else.

      Delete
  6. Poster,nyoor!
    After doing good girl humble wife nsi na aru..
    When I tell you people here to stop marrying broke ass una no go gree..
    Ngwanu!
    Osetigo!..
    Biko move on with your life..this should teach you a very big lesson!!...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hope you have something good doing, even me as a man, i will never marry a broke ass woman who has nothing to offer aside s*x

      Delete
    2. Queen queen queen.
      The boss herself.
      Beyonce hand for you.

      Delete
    3. As if it's easy to find a rich man. I'm 29, even poor or average man I never see. So if I manage to see one guy that's probably managing his life, you'll tell me to wait for a rich man. Poster, fight for your child. Don't let them take him! That's all you have now

      Delete
    4. Dede ugonna, I can see you are new on this blog.

      Delete
    5. Hahahahahaha Queen you must be from Anambra state. That Nyoor is typical Anambra.

      Don't mind them, they are doing good wives. Pick me please pick me. You married a broke jobless man and had no shame living in the same face me I face you with the man's family. You are doing love. You think love sustains marriage, and when chips are down, the family supports their own. They treated the way you sold yourself, CHEAP and DESPERATE

      Delete
    6. Anon16:05
      Dede is a new BVN, He doesn't know our Queen and boss

      Delete
    7. @Queen money or being rich is not the first determinant biko.


      Delete
    8. @KIDJO, I can see that.

      Delete
    9. Them go use you run BM las las ni

      Delete
  7. I wish girls will learn. Dont listen to alll those yeye talk of being with a broke ass. It's only when men have little money you'll know their true behaviour. Broke men are always loyal until they've made it. FLEE FROM BROKE GUYS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1. You made a grave mistake @Poster.You can glean the mistakes that led you to this dead end from the comments made by BVs.

      I knew that that horseband of yours has remarried before I even saw Stella's red ink.

      Going forward..

      1. Agree to the divorce.
      2.REFUSE TO GIVE YOUR SON TO THEM OR ANYONE REFUSE OOOO.REFUSE WITH THE LAST DROP OF YOUR BLOOD AND WITH YOUR LAST BREATH. YOUR SON IS THE ONLY THING YOU ARE TAKING FROM THAT DEHHUMANIZING AND CURSED FAMILY.
      3.Move from your father's house with your son so that they won't harm you or kidnap him. GO TO ANOTHER STATE OR COUNTRY IF NEED BE.
      4. START AFRESHO - Job, business, relationship THATS THE PRICE TO PAY.

      5.Work on your mindset and self esteem cos that's what took you to and kept you in that MADNEESS.

      I pray for wisdom and inner strength for you so that you don't loose the ONLY pride salvaged from that madness - which is your son and that you don't get into this kind of affliction again in your life in Jesus name.

      I will keep praying for you.

      #LOVE😍



      Delete
  8. I am so sorry you are going through all all of this.
    Where are you putting up now?
    Tell them you you have agreed to get divorced.
    On no acccount should you allow them take your son. That’s all you have right now.
    Do not beg your husband anymore. He should set you free, you will meet a better someone later.
    I bet he is there haveing fun, sex and all. It’s not easy staying apart from one’s husband, no sex , nothing. And he chose to pay you this way?
    Please move on and don’t look back.
    All these stupid ungrateful men. No, I don’t care what you did wrong,, his family is bad. You deserve better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. Him and his family are wicked. Most poor people are usually wicked.

      Delete
  9. Sad story. He's probably married to someone else there with the knowledge of his family.
    As much as possible, since you have a son, insist on taking him with you. No one can take care of your could better than yours before they turn him to a slave
    May God guide you as you make your decisions and provide for you 🙏🏿

    ReplyDelete
  10. Love is not and should never be hard.

    Ahah!

    Woman, you need to love yourself! Get out and be happy. What's all this labour-tears-disrespect-tears life you are living?!

    Move on! Get out of the house, have a place of your own! Do not drop your kid for nobody!

    Leave and live please!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear Madame
    Sorry about all you are dealing with but I want you to know that this isn't the end of your life ,

    ThankGod you have just a child and I believe you would be able to cater to the child 🙏

    Being in a loveless marriage is worse than a death sentence, I'd advice you to start by moving out of the house, do not leave without your son that's the worse mistake you would make ,

    One thing i know is staying in a family house doesn't end well most times , no need to apologise or beg to stay .

    You are worth more than this , begin a new chapter of your life by seeking God, keep developing yourself do not let anyone or any situation devalue you .

    There are people that experienced worse ,but they rose above their situation and are doing much better than they ever did .

    Lay it all at God's feet , please do not degrade yourself by letting them humiliate you , they do not have to know you're leaving, pack your bags just as few as possible and exist when they're all out .
    Life would surely humble your husband .

    ReplyDelete
  12. This Chronicle is very painful. Karma will surely visit your husband and his family. Pls move on dear. Forget him and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  13. you are still calling him your husband, you lack sense... you better match their craze with a bigger one, move on with your life and never let them take your child... but since you may want to bear mrs by force i believe at the end of this disgrace you will still go back to him.

    ReplyDelete
  14. what a husband and family! You see why women advice their fellow women to keep their money and not bother spending on a so called husband like poster's husband? Poster you were too good for them and they took advantage of you. Now the marriage is already gone beyond repair

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is so so sad.
    Please take heart.It may take a while to recover from this, but whatever you do, do not stay on the ground.It sounds like your hubby has moved on..I dont know his side of the story for acting like this but you need to get your self together.Move to your family house with your son and take time to heal.Dont let anyone take your son.There are women advocacy groups that can fight for you, so dont be silent if they try to take your child.
    You will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. which women advocacy group.. that's long process... just break the 1st persons head that comes to take ur son away.

      Delete
    2. Lmao. Dede abeg o

      Delete
  16. Poster do not leave your child with them. They want to take everything from you. Bastards!!
    First early in the morning don't carry things, just pretend as if you want to buy something and run away with your child.. Then later you can go with police and some of your relatives and get your properties. Don't ever allow them see the child again.

    You see everything you've been through because of them,just relax and focus on your job, they will surely pay and you will laugh last. E-hug darling

    ReplyDelete
  17. Just let him go, live ur life and forget all ur afflictions. Poor men are the most ungrateful set of human being on Earth. Dnt even wish him I'll, just go with it kid. Never leave ur kid ever. God bless

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just a little taste of a better life and this man and his family are treating you so badly. Please do not beg them in any way. Dust yourself up and move on. Don’t let them see you cry or even make them know they hurt you. Cry and pray in your closet. Fight them for nothing except your child. Outwardly, move on like they never existed. I know inwardly you will hurt. Tell God the way you feel, how you have been humiliated and how your soul yearns for justice. He listens I tell you. That man will soon see the bad side of life all over times 10 in a strange land.

      Delete
  18. It is well with you poster and you will have reasons to smile again. Let him go but never let them take your son.🤗🤗🤗

    ReplyDelete
  19. So u were just so nice like an Angel & they treated u like thrash abi? What did u do to them that made them behave such way to u?
    When we keep telling gals not to be acting like desperados cos of marriage they will insult us. How can u accept to enter poverty with korokoro eyes?you were busy upgrading a poor man & his family. Don’t u know that the loyalty of a poor man can never be trusted? You were doing onyeoma CY for them & here’s the end result.
    Madam just move on & learn your lesson. If truly u wer innocent, God will fight for you, & u dare not release your child to them.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Poster you opened your eyes and married a jobless man who could not afford rent who does that!

    Look just forget him and hope you have sense to pick up the pieces of your life and move on... Also make sure you have enough sense to keep your son

    In fact your chronicle offends me, HOW CAN YOU OPEN YOUR EYES AND MARRY INTO POVERTY.

    LEP

    ReplyDelete
  21. Do married women lose the support of their parent after getting married or what? They are your support! Leave without saying goodbye so you can still have your son with you. Seriously I have phobia for slowpoke!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Poster, I advise you to leave them. They married you to use you and they are done with you. Leave with your child before they plan to harm you.

    Start all over. Learn the lessons and move on. They will all pay.

    ReplyDelete
  23. This is not the 1st time I'm hearing a MAN proposing divorce threaten to take the child(ren).
    Lawyers in the house, who does the Nigerian Constitution award custody to in a divorce? Is it based on age of the child as well?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing is free in Freetown ma. Walk into a law firm and pay consultation fee

      Delete
  24. How is she going to hold unto his son in this same Nigeria?
    Are there enabling laws that will make that possible?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Visit a law firm. You will have your answers

      Delete
  25. Most stories that start with women spending money on broke men never ends well. Pls pick up whatever remains of your self esteem and leave that toxic environment WITH YOUR SON. Since you have a job you can take care of him.
    Marriage is between 2 consenting adults. Once one party is no longer committed in relationship theres nothing to fight for or over again.
    Pick yourself up and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  26. What a pity.
    He that pays good with evil, evil will not leave his house...Proverbs 17:13

    Lady, do not wish anything evil on this family as they have chosen evil
    by themselves. If you can get a lawyer to hold unto your baby after this
    "divorce" do. Please, any lawyer here should help this lady in distress not
    to lose her baby. A little child needs her mother.
    Just sit back and watch the comitragedy they created. And please, do your
    best to advance yourself in your chosen profession and above all to advance
    yourself in the things of Christ by studying especially the New Testament teachings of his.
    Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 15:37, na only you go school from your response. All these people with comprehension issue cannot read that she is asking for next action steps to take and not an analysis of her past, which is responsible for her current condition.

      Madam, go to office of public defenders on Funso Williams Avenue Surulere. They offer free legal services and will summon your inlaws and call them to order in line with extant laws.

      2. Go and rent another room.

      3. Never leave your child out of your sight for any reason. You are in the midst of enemies.

      Stella bikini post my comment

      Delete
    2. 15:37 you wrote like I would.
      God bless you for this godly counsel.
      Poster take this advice.

      Delete
    3. God bless!
      Everybody blaming her for marrying a poor man as if marrying a rich man is the solution to all of life's problems.
      Poster is obviously asking for how to hold on to her son, not all of the blame she is receiving

      Delete
  27. It is not about broke guys but rather some are ungrateful. It's same with women. Let us address the rather making fallacious statement.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Iya Oshoronga of Blogosphere9 May 2020 at 15:40

    You should never have spent all your money on him. You caused this. I am naturally not a sentimental person because it blocks people from reasoning properly. You should have made him do the work, it is not a woman’s place to spend all her money on a man AND IF YOU MUST, (because of ‘love) you must LOCK down your investments with serious white fast. Men are generally ungrateful and most of them don’t appreciate a woman who goes overboard for them, some even turn around to say the wife stole their luck. I am very hard hearted when it comes to how to handle a man, they are not very ok in their heads and they can switch on you at any minute so if you must spend on him , you have to safe guard yourself . Poster, you are the cause of this, you must NEVER treat a man with kid gloves. You were too soft.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Iya Oshoronga, I’m the same with my money and investments when it comes to men. No time at all. I cannot come and be regretting. I’d rather regret with my money than without. Most men are just not designed to be grateful like that, they feel emasculated. Secondly, marriage to a jobless man is a no go area. I don’t care what anyone says, live your own make I live mine. Both parties in a marriage should have work and dreams.

      Delete
    2. Thank you sis,You are a VETERAN in men matters ,teach more women ,but dem go hear? ,Love kill me die ,#rubbish

      Delete
  29. Poster, so sorry for what you're going through. I know it's very Painful but don't beat yourself too much.

    Please let him be and pack your stuff and leave. But make sure you don't leave your son behind.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Sorry Poster.

    They read your desperation from afar and used you to accomplish their missions.
    Now, you have seen that there's more to life than a loveless marriage to a broke man at that.

    Life has given you a second chance. Pick up yourself and move for better.

    I do hope you learnt from this as such men are still on the prowl.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Take heart, poster n try to begin anew. God will see you through

    ReplyDelete
  32. You’re like a doormat they’ve used up. You allowed them treat you like shit now you’re crying. You stooped so low that your husband does not even want to deal with you at all. Na see finish cause am and you no value yourself. Enough of the bullshit and now it’s time to take charge of your life. Stop begging your husband and in-laws and stop all this weakness you’re showing them. It’s time to let them know without being disrespectful but tell them in their faces that you’re not handling your son over to them! Go to child protection services in your local area and report what’s going on if they choose to fight you! Allow your yeye husband go and don’t even act like he exists. Start working on yourself and take care of yourself so you’ll attract A correct and better man. And just because he traveled does not mean he’s better than you. Build your self esteem, build yourself financially, add a side business. You can start with akara and fried yam which involves low capital or any other side hustle. And next time no dey do househelp for no man all in the name of being a good wife. What’s wrong with you self ehn? When you respect yourself and folks know you don’t take nonsense then people will respect you. From your write up, you don’t have self respect for yourself at all hence your in-laws are treating you like shit. Don’t worry it’ll be your time to shine soon. Let go of this man and his family! If they disrespect, tell them straight up in a firm voice that you don’t appreciate them disrespecting you! Wake up madam and take charge of your life! Good luck and update us abeg.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for this, poster pls read this. And I've come to believe the low self esteem in some posts we read are parents fault. Some Nigerian parents raise kids so badly.. everyday shout, curse and flog..that verbal and physical abuse push girls into bad marriages just to escape from home and start a new family. Plus the belief that marriage comes with respect so they need it for their self esteem.. at the end of the day people are a product of the families they were raised in.

      Delete
    2. Anon and NIB 🙌 🙌

      Delete
  33. Don't soak garri with a man to swell. If the man hammer tommorow sis na one chance you de.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Money that you should have spent developing yourself,Buying lands, investing! You allowed a broke rat waste your time.

    Shior. I have no words for you. Oya fight for the Mrs title na.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Staying in a family house while your Hubby is abroad is a grave mistake. My Hubby resides abroad. I learnt in a hard way,I had to cut off everyone and live alone; no more visits. It's very risky to allow ur in laws to be close to you when ur Hubby isn't in the country. The truth is that they will always give feedback.

    ReplyDelete
  36. And leave that your inlaw house ASAP! And take your child along. DO NOT LEAVE your child with them. No one can take better care of your child than you. They can’t have all their cake and eat it. Go to your parents house or somewhere you can have your peace your mind. Cry out the pain. It’ll help you heal faster. Things will get better don’t worry

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Edikan ente where are u. Come and criticise like u always. Ngwanu

      Delete
  37. He wants to divorce? No problem give it to him but walk away with your son. Keep your head up, believe in God and He will fight for you. All the best. You've got this mama

    ReplyDelete
  38. Men are so selfish. Stories of Nigerian men deceiving oyinbo women for papers are not new at all, but nobody castigates them. I mean they are literally using their penis/sex to get what they want and society accepts that. Yet same men castigate women who they believe are 'runs girls' without proof. What's the difference? Sorry Sir but you a hoe as well! Have integrity..there are many ways to legally get stay but naah, you choose the chicken cowardly way out and throw your wife and child away in the process.

    And pls women marry only who loves you, not who is managing or tolerating you. Not who is marrying you cos it's time for him to get married. It is very easy to know, when a man loves, it shows. The kindness, the generosity, the sacrifices, the respect, the consistency, the future plans for both of you. It has to come from him. Also ensure the family is decent enough and accepts you. Sorry poster, e hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NO DIFFERENCE OH @ "I mean they are literally using their penis/sex to get what they want and society accepts that. Yet same men castigate women who they believe are 'runs girls' without proof. What's the difference?"

      THEY ARE 'RUNS GUYS'.

      Delete
  39. Sometimes karma will avenge for you, other times it won't. Sometimes someone will hurt you and go on to live a happy life. I have seen many women get old and almost mental waiting for karma to avenge one heartbreak. My point is that you should just bone this man and his family and get ready to move on with your life. What is wrong with you sef? Don't you still have your job? Also, please don't let anyone go with your child. Contact welfare services at your state ministry.
    Your husband is mad. Your in laws are mad. And if you're considering remaining there, you too you are mad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish I can give my type of karma their address it’ll so deal with them. My own story is worse than hers. First of the brother died.the pastor that joined my ex died, his best man went to prison , his female accomplice lost her marriage, got cancer too , became homeless, my ex started eating from hand to mouth , younger sis that abused me lost her child, lost his aunt . Bestie marriage crashed. Am like my mum if you hurt us you’re good as dead our God is very vengeful. I pray for this poster God who strengthen me will see you through for you to ask what you should do regarding your son it means you’re contemplating leaving him. You take care of a bastard grown up man why not your son ? Be wise. I suffered with three kids with God . But today I ride the latest car .

      Delete
  40. First of all, marrying a brokeass jobless man is a no no.
    Secondly, becoming a benefactor and a goody two shoes to please the inlaws is a bigger no no.
    Lastly, showing weakness or guilt and apologising when you have done no wrong in situations like yours is the greatest no no.
    That being said please pick up the pieces of your life and move on with your son. Good thing you have a job and a source of livelihood, I really hope you have a supportive family too.
    On no account should you leave your child with those inlaws from hell.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Sorry for what you are passing through poster,please move out of that house with your son.He deserves all the joy and hapiness,he mustn't see you shedding tears.Be strong for him.Move to your parent's house for now or get another apartment.Eat good food and dress nice,go out and have fun,watch tv and focus on your work.Success is the best revenge.And please cut all ties with your in laws for now.You are amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  42. As in, why carry the whole burden on your shoulders just to prove love? You must be so tired already from trying to be everything for your yeye husband and his family,I'm so sorry for all you've been through poster!

    They want to shatter you totally but don't let them, you are way more stronger than that.. Fight for your child with everything coz right now being strong is the only option you have! FIND A WAY TO FLEE WITH YOUR CHILD, DON'T LET THEM TAKE HIM FROM YOU.


    Women shouldn't let men manipulate them into thinking "so because I'm broke that's why you can't love me thingy".. You no fit write love for paper to chop o, love is not enough!!!

    There's a difference if both partners are hardworking and trying to make ends meet and not doing anything at all.. There's a big difference

    ReplyDelete
  43. Dear poster,sorry for your predicament,but in a way you caused it, you really thought money could buy love,sorry you got your fingers burnt, dear ladies learn to keep your money matters when dating any man, a man that truly loves you will profess,protect and provide for you if he's not doing the whole three ''P'' but wants to jump into your pants by professing marriage, pleases don't say I didn't tell you,dear ladies stop being desperate for any man,because that's when the likelihood of you being used pop's up.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Replies
    1. That's all.you can say, right? Yet when women say they take men's finances into consideration, you'll be ranting insults at them.

      Delete
    2. Haaa 🙄

      Delete
  45. The earlier you get a place and disappear with your child the better for you. Soin they use police to take your child away from you and feed you to the gutter.

    Get a place and don't let them know and get out of there with your child.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Self Love 💓💓9 May 2020 at 16:56

    Hmmm, poster oooo. let me tell you what you should do:

    1. leave that house immediately, squat with someone or get a room. Just disappear and go cold turkey on them.

    2. let your family know what is going on and tell them to accept the dowry refun. any attempt to discuss from your family side, these people will disrespect your family.

    3. Work like you have never in your life. Double your hustle oooooo

    Ngwanu, when they see that you dont have to beg for food and you are doing fine, they will be humbled but too ashamed to come to you.

    Your ex-husband? He will suffer and regret ever putting a good woman through ridicule; the same way my ex-husband and his family will suffer for every pain they caused me especially my MIL, making my kids grow without a father figure.

    You will be fine joor, dont worry. Hold on to God and your son like your life depend on it. If you have a good job and a place to stay, get friends that will call you if they cant visit this corona time. people who will make you laugh real good. I bet you in six months you will be fine babe!

    Love you 💓💓

    ReplyDelete
  47. You did all you wrote up there for your shameless husband and his family, and they still decided to treat you bad.
    My dear, stop crying and take your child far away from them! Your parents in-laws have no rights to take your child away from you, especially when you're the one that has been caring for this child in the absence of your ungrateful husband.

    Please, don't let them know your plans, where you are moving to or his school (time for you to change his school)

    It will never end well for that your ingrate husband.

    And stop begging them.. begging ungrateful hungry stricken people always make them feel they are above you or that they have the final say.

    Time for you to get a lawyer and grant him the divorce but, make sure it is written in clear bold words that you will have 💯 full custody of your child.

    May the Lord strengthen you and put the right people around you.
    I am sorry for your ordeal in the hands of those wicked people
    Sending you love and light 🤗💖💖

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly what I wrote
      She should quietly plan her exit with her son .
      Leave them without a clue of her whereabout.
      Some people are so ungrateful and devious, only God truly knows the intent of the heart .

      Delete
  48. Is it a coincidence I just came from Facebook where I read a story of how a woman left the liar of a husband that she married and is now forging ahead with her head held up high? Yours is the exact opposite because you are totally clueless on what to do next. Run away with your son. Do not allow them take him forcefully from you because it will be very easy to turn him against you. At this point in my life I have come to agree that it isn't worth it building with anybody. What's all these depressing stories bikonu? This one too will pass for marriage? I rather stay single for the rest of my life. Run and protect yourself and your son by involving law enforcement and agencies that can help you fight them. Until there is an agreement on how you both can co-parent, do not release your child. Those asking if she did anything to warrant this treatment, unless she killed their son, nobody deserves this dehumanizing treatment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly my point sis, instead of this type of marriage, I'd rather remain SINGLE, FREE, RICH, SANE AND HAPPY! wtf? Marriage gbakwa okuu, tufiakwa.

      Delete
  49. You did what is extraordinary. Hold on tight, don't give up ooo. Married a JOBLESS MAN IN HIS PARENTS HOUSE🤣🤣. You must be 50 years old

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stop laughing at her nne, some people grew up in a very timid family with zero self esteem and clue about life,some their parents, siblings, relatives and friends always sings it like a song to them that marriage is really all they need in this world to arrive.
      All they talk and think is marriage and so they grow up with the desperation of wanting to be married before a certain age!
      That's why you'd see a full bodied woman being messed up by one undeserving anumpama, they'd just take all the bulshits because they want to be married or remain married.

      Delete
    2. your comment is quite insensitive , it's not about age haven't you heard about marriage of sympathy?
      Remember love is sacrificial a lot of people go above and beyond when they love someone with the hope that they'd build a life together .
      It's unfortunate that only a few turns out right .

      Delete
    3. Trust me I get it and truly feel for her. But isn't it time women wake up! 1. Why marry a man who's jobless? 2. Make matter worse, living with his parents.

      See finish it is. Please leave WITH YOUR CHILD ooo. God help you and learn to love yourself more. He's not your husband, a husband protects his wife. Importantly take good care of yourself and the child.

      Delete
  50. Flee from broke men and their families too. Never marry a poverty infested family or a lazy jobless man who has nothing to offer these are always wicked and selfish. Please please ladies run run from people. It doesn't matter how old you are. YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH!!! Good luck ladies.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Believe me, there isn't any other side to this story..this same thing happened to me just that i didn't spend my money on him and never lived with his parents. He was an ambitious broke ass man so i didn't see it as a big deal settling down with him..He was always loving until oga traveled to U.S.A...The guy said same thing this poster's husband said to her to me..how I ain't good enough for him and holding unto US will not make him achieve the American good life he desires..mind you,we just welcomed our baby when this happened and he was just Six months in US..after so many back and forth,oga finally married his white lover and his parents and siblings turned against me..all this happened in less than 2years he left naija..Dear poster,I understand perfectly how you feel cox I've been there..let that guy go! Stop fighting it,you will end up hurting the more..move out of that house but DO NOT leave without your child,cry out your pains as much as you can.now is the time to concentrate solely on your child and yourself..That Ex-husband of yours is about getting married or married already. Leave the fight for God,but be rest assured the guy isn't JAZZED, He has just shown you his true colour...I wish you well

    ReplyDelete
  52. First sign of a useless husband

    Baby let stay with my parents and baby give me your salary let me support myself

    ReplyDelete
  53. Dear Poster, I'm not going to blame you for what has happened in the past. Just make sure you learnt your lesson and its now time to move forward. Get a good lawyer or go to the women protection or child protection agencies to help you get your entitlement in the marriage especially things you bought with your money or contributed in buying and most importantly get custody of your child. They will make sure that he sends money regularly for his upkeep. I'm very sure your husband has remarried abroad to get his papers and has a family abroad. Improve yourself, get other sources of income to take care of yourself and your son. By God's grace , you will remarry to a man who will accept your son and love you unconditionally. Please make sure you don't repeat the same mistake . God bless you and by God's grace it will pass over and you will thank God in the future. God loves you and knows what you are going through. He will fight your husband and his family on your behalf. Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Poster I feel your pain. Let him go God will come through for you and all these will be a story. Thank God you're working. Take ur child don't leave him with them. It's well with you

    ReplyDelete
  55. This was my mum story. May dad is old and grey now by himself

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And some people will be judging his children, not knowing what he has done to their mother

      Delete
  56. Foundations in marriages matters a lot to me. I barely comment on marriage chronicles. They will not tell us how they get in there, the role they played. I am interested in how can we get it right?

    ReplyDelete
  57. I feel betrayed most times but this ish here hurts more and I sure know how you are feeling, please forget wet clothes, forget dragging of properties, pick your son and run away, be sure to hide far, he is all you have in this sham of a marriage please, don't go looking for things to carry, this was my case but thank God for SDK family, Stella and everyone who has been there, we were able to escape with our lives intact, and I am here with my daughter... Please be safe out there, don't lose your son, the frustration will be too much for you

    ReplyDelete
  58. This is such a sad story. How I hate broke ass men! Oh lord! I can't stand them. They know how to love Ehnnnn..Most of them once money enters, you'll see their true colours.

    Poster, stop crying .Stop begging. Now is the time to be brave and bold. Move out of that house and leave with your son. Make sure you don't raise suspicion when you're about to leave. Run away with your child. Whatever you do, Do not leave your son behind

    ReplyDelete
  59. Sweetie, sorry this is happening to you. Listen to Stella's red pen.
    Go through with the divorce, go home and take your child with you. Tell your people to return the bride price and never allow your son to be alone with any member of his family, they will steal him.
    Try not to be bitter about it, focus on building yourself and shower your son with love, affection and validate him. Be open to love and God will surely replenish everything that the locust has eaten. God's will for your life is not what this man and his family is giving you, let him and them go. You will flourish without them. If it is marriage you want, you will get a better one, with genuine love and affection. If it's AC you want, you can get a luxury flat, serviced and all. don't worry, first let go.

    ReplyDelete
  60. I dont know why you have to go tru all this but I Pray you find a new live that will overwhelmed and shock them. Give him what he wants, the divorce, forgive them and move on. Karma is real, God is not asleep.

    ReplyDelete
  61. The things I read and learn from this blog eeh!
    At times I really wonder out loud how some women marry the kinds of men they marry, Is it insecurities, lack of selfesteem,Lackof llove and respect for themselves,Old age, uko dii, poorverty or what? I just don't get it. In this generation and century, a woman opened her eyes and got married to a jobless man that lives in a face me I face you apartment with HIS PARENTS? And your own family even allowed you make such a terrible mistake? To crown it all, you went there and became not just their atm, you also became their maid/house help, why did you leave the properties you bought with your hard earned money for them, why?
    Anyway, you made your choice, you should also find a way to sort yourself out.
    Dear women, we can actually be fine if we don't get "married", we mustn't be married to be truly certisfied or fulfilled in life. You see these shits and mess some women gets themselves into all in the name of "I have to get married" any way and any how, for example....,like this chronicle and yesterday's chronicle update, It's really not worth it, It's better to remain freely and happily single than mess your life up all in the name of silly marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ekwuzikwana because they will soon tell you that you soak your pillow at night praying for husband. 😂😂😂

      Delete
    2. 🤣🤣🤣 Lmaoo!
      Ngwanu, fa jisi Ike oo, the Lord is their muscle.

      Delete
    3. 🤣🤣🤣Lmaoo!
      Ngwanu, fa jisi Ike oo... The Lord is their muscle.

      Delete
  62. @poster please sign the divorce papers. U paid a price of ignorance. A man going into a marriage without a financial plan already in place to cater for the family is not yet really ready to get married. Please move on I believe strongly in the law of karma.....

    ReplyDelete
  63. What kind of sad story is this abeg! Loved have mercy. Poster ndoo...it seems all plans have been concluded. I'll advice you let go and watch God except there's something you are not telling us.
    O God of heaven and the earth, guide and direct us singles so we don't fall into wicked hands in the name of marriage. Amen

    ReplyDelete
  64. This story is one sided.

    ReplyDelete
  65. It is absurd that most women don't know their rights in marriage. The said guy can be dealt with and people will learn not to misbehave in this way.
    1. Get a good lawyer, gather all evidence you need including pictures showing all the traditional marriage done and naming ceremony and all receipts.
    2. USA frowns at bigamy and you can write US embassy in Lagos stating your case. If the said guy is married in us then you have a case my sister and stop begging the guy.
    3. Do not leave your child to the family, hold your head high and get ready for a better life ahead of you.
    Do not let the so called family belittle you.

    ReplyDelete

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