Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Sunday In House Gists -When The Mother In Law Visits.

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Sunday, June 07, 2020

Sunday In House Gists -When The Mother In Law Visits.

When a couple gets married and both (or one)still have their mums alive,there comes a time when the mother might want to visit and spend some time with their child....









Are you friends with your mum in law?Or is she banned from visiting or staying over at your house?
If a mother in law visits,how long is too long for her to stay?What is the ideal lenght of time for her to stay?

Wait!.....Are you at War with your mother in law???

175 comments:

  1. My MIL is my sweet pal. A no problem woman to the core. I am the one wishing she will always visit.
    Most Nigerian ladies are at war with their MIL due to prejudices and sheer
    bias they accumulated from the society and some "churches". This "village people" nonsense that they are fed with. The woman is branded witch even before they marry the man.
    Some even pray that their MILs die and they forget that they have brothers who are marrying or dating
    other young ladies? ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ””

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    Replies
    1. Madam,I use to be like you until I experienced it. I was friends with my Mil(mother nlaw). Loved her like my mum,I would even prefer she comes over self,always call her much more than I call my mum,had access to my kitchen,she will even bring her friends to my house unannounced,gave her full access to my home,i will make sure she gets whatever she wants from my hubby and her other children I thought I was good to her enough until She changed towards me,what happened I don't knw and then it got worse. All i heard was,she requested for money from my husband, he used me to cover up that it was with me and it wasnt and then problem started Plenty stories. Now I don't pray she comes to my house again. But all I know is God is my witness I was/ I have been so good to her,I treated her like my Mum. My hubby said I should forget abt her and her troubles,in fact he's the one telling her not to come to our house yet. God dey

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    2. I am very cool with my mother In-law, she can gist me from mornings till night but what I don't like about her is that she gossips about people a lot but her good friends.she will talk good in their front and once they are out of sight she will rubbish them.I don't just know how to tell her to stop.

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    3. I hate to hear that village people thing eh

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    4. My mother in law is late. But when she was alive,i always had her around. But after 2wks mama would say she wasnts to go back to her business. That they would cheat her as she was not on ground. When she had stroke just be4 she passed on,her daughters were not around in same state as me,i would bathe her pack her poo. Was her urine clothes. All i did for her,was an extension of me love for my hubby. My mama on the other hand,na war. Cant spend more than 3 days in your house. She would call everyone that ahe wants to go to her house. So me i just visit her in her house biko.

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    5. Amin 14:53 your husband shouldn’t have used you to cover up from his own mother. He should have used himself haba

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    6. Eyah not lucky enough to experience any of there visit. Myself and my husband are lost both parent before marriage.

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    7. Anon 14:53, I had a similar experience. I don't have the energy to narrate the sacrifices I made for my mother in law.
      Eventually, she showed me that I am not her child.
      It's so painful. Anyway, this post just brought back the hurt.

      Delete
    8. Anon 14:53 not Amin 14:53๐Ÿ˜‚

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    9. Anon 14:53 not Amin 14:53๐Ÿ˜‚ sorry.

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    10. In my next life ( if there is anything like that my mom in-law would still be my mom in-law..my God, i love that woman to bits, very prayerful, always calling (she calls me more than she calls her son), dashes me money each time I visit(she calls me baby of the house as I'm married to her last son) and each time I gift her something she thanks me like I bought her heaven and earth, very appreciative..the list continues o..
      Mama Obi I love you biko

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    11. Anon 14:04, that you have a good mother in law doesn't mean some are as fortunate.

      If you hear their story, you'll pity them!

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    12. Anon 14.04, I wonder where you got your statistics. Your should have just said your relationship with your MIL and leave other Nigerian women alone. I dislike when people judge others with their sanctimonious behaviours. Every individual is different whether MIL or DIL.

      For me, I was in very cordial relationship with my MIL, I treated her as my mother she was but she was always in logger heads with her son.

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    13. I fantasised as a little child and looked forward to having two mums (adding my mother-in-law with my mum) when I got married, but alas I married into a polygamous home, my husband being the only son of his mother surrounded by five sisters. They have been evil. They control all hubby’s investments and ensure its only his name on docs, they have his atm card and mama enjoys anything she wishes. They never call me or the kids and mama told him my parents don’t need anything from him and neither do I or my kids. His sisters are successful but they remind him that as he is the only son/brother, he owes them and he gladly dances to their tune. I can’t stand my MIL, I feel cheated! I wish she wasn’t so mean, I will do better for my daughter in law

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  2. Make I read comments ๐Ÿฅค๐Ÿฟ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol...make we read together!

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    2. Hi boo
      Are you back from church?
      Good afternoon

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    3. I used to hate my mil,but as years passed, realized she's is an angel where my mum is.Won't mind if she visits.

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    4. I'm cool with my MIL,we have this cordial and respectful relationship,nobody crosses anybody's boundary same with my SIL and BILs.

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  3. Mothers in law can visit anytime she wants, but the honourable thing is to call before coming, so as to enable the couple prepare for her. She can't just barge in on people in the name of visit just because she is a Mother in law. What if it is not conducive at the moment she chose to visit? Will she understand?
    It's all about planning. I prefer such visits during festive periods.

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  4. I'm friends with my MIL,shes a sweet soul,something happened few months ago that threatened the dynamics but its not from either one of us so we are finding our balance,she stays for 2/3months when I give birth and not once do we argue,of course we have our off days as none of us is perfect,I just put my mouth inside my wardrobe to call my sister to vent off๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜then we come back out smiling,we have offended ourselves in the past and we will in the future but the love is genuine and so we will be fine !

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    1. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

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    2. I feel you my sis๐Ÿ˜‚, my sister is my sounding board too, i turn a blind eye wella and ignore.
      You need to hear my husband going on and on about how close wife and mother is, it makes him Happy, he doesn't know the half of what I have to put up with, he will never tolerate such from my folks. Guy man goes out to hustle, i can't stress him out by always fighting and being in a squabble with his mother abeg.
      I pray to God all the time to give me patience and tolerate her excesses.
      My mother in law is not so bad, before she started living permanently with me, whenever she comes around, she doesn't stay for long, na me dey beg am sef to stay but she had a business to run, so she always left. She has glaucoma and can't see very well, so she is with us now and over familiarity has entered, i have bitten my tongue severally so as not to retort whenever she offends me. It is not easy i tell You, i am Not perfect, she is not either.

      I don't get so mad as before tho, whenever she wants to impose herself on me as usual, i just agree with her and go and the hell what I want.

      She can gist eh, never a dull moment with her, she is full of stories. So far, so good!

      Melancholy

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    3. Anon 16:01. Please bear with her. Loss of sight can be difficult to handle. My own mom, such a sweet soul but when she lost her sight, she got so cranky and kept lashing out at people. Please be patient with her and God will bless you.

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    4. Sis @melancholy I can imagine how it will be totally living together.continue to try for her and chase the peace ma'am,just like you I never reported my MIL to DH cos you may never know how he is going to take it and I keep in mind that that's his mum,you can't ever know a 100% BTW mother and son๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

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  5. Mil have suffer on this blog eh๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿผ‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
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    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

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    2. Loooool

      Why are you running?
      Oya come back !!!

      Ps where is ANG , I hope she is okay .

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    3. I tell you. Like who eventually become these Mils ? Do they fall from heaven๐Ÿ˜‚

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    4. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜…

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  6. My mum in-law is a busy woman but she came for Omugwo when I had my second son.. My hubby and I noticed she wanted to be in charge.. She wanted things to be done her ways but hubby didnt give her dat opporunity.. When she got the mssg, she just stayed on her lane..
    In Summary, she is allowed to stay but her business won't allow her to stay more than few days.. I like it that way though before see finish going enter.

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    Replies
    1. The way kids love their grandparents is just out of this world!!!

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    2. They always want to impose themselves on you, my mum is like this too, but i can tell her to mind her business and leave me alone, but how I wan use tell mil to mind her business na๐Ÿคท‍♀️? I will be called disrespectful.

      Melancholy

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  7. Mother in law has right to stay in his son's or daughter's house as long as she wants if there is space in the house(especially different room from the couple). If not mother in law your hubby/wife would be in existence

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    Replies
    1. Says who? I never want any relative living with us both from my side and from my husband's.

      In most cases, that's the beginning of wahala in a previously peaceful home. Just visit and go abeg.

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    2. Which right? Nobody has right to stay in anyone's how for as long as they like.

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    3. Na real 'as long as they want. Luv girl is a very young girl and she is not thinking marriage yet so it's sweet for her to say. No be only "If not mother in law your hubby/wife would be in existence" ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ oh what a reason.

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    4. Abeg shift๐Ÿ™„, i know your type!

      Melancholy

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    5. Only the couple, and the children below the age of 21 have the right to stay in the home.
      Every other person is a guest and should behave as such.

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    6. Saphire, ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ you're not nice

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    7. In Nigeria? @16;11... When they're either still in the university or serving. Or just starting to throw a step into the world.

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  8. I’m going to be a MIL one day so my advice is to always forgive, mind your own business and remember that you’re probably magnifying your child’s spouses shortcomings because they are not your child.

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  9. I wish I was at peace with my mother in-law bfre she died. I cried so much when she died. I realized it's better to be at peace with everyone because you don't know what will happen tomorrow. She always asked me to visit her with my kid or even allow my kid to visit her, I never did and it took her death for me to realize how horrible a daughter in-law i had been. Hubby didn't help matters too, he was always busy traveling for business and never cared if I visited the woman or not. I was so ashamed on her burial day. I've decided to keep in touch with all my husband's siblings. We are all at peace now and I'm happier with the marriage now than bfre.

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    Replies
    1. Eeyah sorry for ur loss dear.
      I allow my kids to visit my mum in-law when they are on holidays. They feel very happy when I tell dem we are going to grandma's place. I trust her to take care of my kids very well and I get to enjoy the house with hubby when they are gone.

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    2. Same here, my son has been with my mum in-law since the lock down, he is so fresh and chubby. My MIL is good person, but when it comes to having issues with her children, then she will show you that you are her Co wife.

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  10. My wife's mother is a rare gem after the demise of my mother, she has assumed the role of my mother and that of mother inlaw.

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  11. I love my MIL, she can visit anytime she wants and stay as long as she want. Life is too short to bother over that.

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  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  13. I'm not married yet ๐Ÿ˜Š☺ but I can say I'm going into a wonderful family,
    I see his mother as my own mother and I look forward to spending time with her, ive always prayed to have a mother-in-law like my mom and God sure has given me the best.
    My sister's in-laws love my mom , my mom always says she would never be that kind of mother that would ruin her children's happiness , she would rather take her concerns to God in prayer than cause painc.
    She never wants any of her children to experience the ill experience she had with her inlaws , so she does everything to make sure there is love and unity.
    We are all one in my family and I love it .

    ReplyDelete
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    1. ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

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    2. Congratulations dear so happy for you

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    3. Awww๐Ÿค—

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    4. ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

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  14. I'm praying to God on this for future mutual understanding (because I try to understand people for who they are) .. Because when two people understands each other, the flow will be great! Even after misunderstanding they will be back like nothing happened. It is well with us the awaiting bride geng ๐Ÿ˜

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  15. I'm very close to my mother in law. She's very much aware about the animosity between MILs and their DILs and she says that's the last thing she wants.

    I can remember the times she was calling me even when we were not married yet, she'd always tell me she wants the kind of relationship she doesn't have with her daughter with me. She wants us to be really close.

    She would call and gist me about her boyfriend and we could talk for hours.

    She tells me she never wants to make me uncomfortable in my own home and I never have to worry about her coming to say in our home longer than maybe one week at a stretch.

    She's a working woman and doesn't ever ask for anything financially.

    I really love that woman and I really hope we can continue the kind of relationship we have. I honestly do not want to ever do the MIL, SIL squabble.

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    Replies
    1. Amen on your behalf ,
      This is really nice ๐Ÿ‘Œ,as long as you both are willing , it surely would work out for u guys .

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    2. Wow thsnk God for that. God bless her

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    3. She has a boyfriend! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
      She must be very lively and fun to be with. Not some widowed MIL that will be beefing their DIL. Go get a life biko.

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    4. Exactly @ sapphire, i like the woman abeg.

      Melancholy

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    5. ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ my mom inlaw also has a boyfriend and she tells me how the man doesn't give her enough attention and her stories are sometimes boring I just laugh even when it's not funny,she is a csp in the police force

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  16. Mine is very kind and rich.
    She gave us Corolla when we complaint about our car.God bless u MIL.

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  17. my mother inlaw is lovely but can be controlling. she can calllllฤบll... like everyday but now she got the memo and reduced it small abeg.

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    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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  18. My mother in law that calls me “my love”,checks up on me everyday and even sends me money sef..even calls my parents to check up on them..she’s my mother,so she’s free to visit whenever she wants...

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    Replies
    1. Awww๐Ÿค— I simply love these recent narratives. Glad to know the mothers-in-law's and daughters-in-law's relationship is on a whole new trajectory.

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    2. Awww
      May God continue to bless her!

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  19. I wish I met my mother in law her children are the sweetest. Even when their eldest sister came visiting u cried as she was leaving even when my father inlaw came I cried

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  20. I wish I met mine because alot of people have only good things to say about her

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  21. It's a pity I won't be able to have one ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ My boo became an orphan early in life.

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    Replies
    1. Sorry, well you will work towards being the sort your future daughter in laws will be proud of ๐Ÿ’•

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  22. If you love your husband then you will effortlessly love his family. Except where you have done everything humanly possible and the relationship is not working due to no fault of yours, that is when it is advisable to stay on one's lane.

    A mother in law should be able to visit her son/daughter(not unannounced though) and spend time with them.


    I do not like the idea of a mother in law permanently living with couples to avoid disrespect (except she has accommodation issues, she is sick or bereaved). I have seen it happen and I think a lot of times it doesn't end well.

    The length of period to stay with them depends on a lot of factors but If it is just a visit, I think a month or 2 is ok.

    Mother in law's should respect the couple's privacy and son/daughter in law should also treat MIL like a queen.

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    Replies
    1. Well said!!!
      Two shall become one is all inclusive!!!
      It's unfortunate some people have the mindset that things would go wrong so they go into marriage battle ready , without even waiting to experience the ills.

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    2. I love my in-laws but my husband is quite selfish. He’ll never call anyone in my family from Jan to dec! My in-laws never call me either, they wait for me to call and when I do, they tell my what to do and how to run my home. So Abroadian bv, sons in law need to respect their mother in law and respect them also

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  23. I told my mother inlaw she'll never visit me again. That woman caused me so much pain when she came to stay with us in the Abroad for almost two years. I lost a pregnancy and instead of her consoling or caring for me, she made my situation a topic of discussion. Always gossip and lies. When I'm away and she's with the children she spends all the time on phone and the children will be left to care for themselves. One time my 2 years old had to use knife to cut apple for himself and he injured himself. Just too much messy situation. She tried to make amends 2 weeks to her departure just to clear grounds for another visit. But I told her NEVER. even her children doesn't want her to visit them because she causes too much trouble for them. I pray God gives me the heart to totally forgive her and one day open my door to her.

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    Replies
    1. Chai
      Praying you find it in your heart to forgive and let go ,
      For your own peace and sanity sake .

      Delete
  24. My MIL came from the village for introduction and never went back again. It's been 10years of ups and downs. She takes care of the children from birth. Initially it was annoying as I love my privacy and it also affected bonding with my husband at the early stage.
    However, maturity has made me realize she is a blessing from God for me. I hardly do anything in the house because she loves doing everything. Any attempt to stop her and take charge made her sad. I later realized, her happiness meant a lot to her son. They were very poor peasant farmers before God smiled on her son. I allow her do everything she loves to and I realized it gives me the time and opportunity to focus on more productive things.My job in the house is to stock up. She is 75yrs and I don't intend dragging control with her. Who control help? Mama is agile and a good Christian too.She has also come to respect my choices. In fact life is good.
    The only issues I have with her is the way she brought up her children. They just don't listen to her. Once she expresses her opinion quietly, she leaves you to do as you like. She sometimes does that with the children too and they will ignore her until I carry cane for them. I had to stop her from washing their dishes or serving them water when eating. They are 8 and 7. I make sure they do house chores. Yet if grandma sees them sweeping, she will collect the broom. Recently, I noticed she has started giving them small work to do. I don't enforce my rules. I allow her come to the understanding all by herself. She is a wonderful woman. I pray she lives long to enjoy the fruit of her labour. She keeps telling me how empty the village will be now. She doesn't look Foward to returning.

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    1. that’s a lovely woman right there.

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    2. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ

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    3. This is so beautiful
      May God continually bless mama and your family.

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    4. Aww. God bless her and you too for displaying empathy.

      Many women just consider their mil as enemies without considering their background. A mother spends her whole life for her children and you just expect she should be delegates to a minor role in her son's life. Let's show more empathy, ladies

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    5. Woow, I want to be like your MIL, when I grow up...what a sweet, humble woman, you are blessed to have her.

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    6. Eyaaaaah. You're a nice DIL and mama is also a lovely MIL. May God continuously bless your home.

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    7. That's the understanding I'm talking about.. You decided to understand her and she did same with you despite the fact that nobody is without a flaw.. This is beautiful!!!! Love and Light ๐Ÿค— ❤️

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    8. Trade tailors don't bring tears to my eyes this afternoon o. Just leave me be.

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    9. When two lovely women become Mil and Dil, it is pure bliss through and through. You are both blessed to have each other.

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    10. You got a lovely relationship between you too. May God keep it so

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  25. I don't like visiting people and i don't like people visiting me. I love my space this includes my family

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    1. My sister, unlike me that entered one chance

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  26. I pray to have a close bond with my future Mother- in- law.

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    1. You will darling๐Ÿค— Just go into your new family with a pure heart.

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    2. amen ๐Ÿ™ ๐Ÿ™
      A very big amen.
      It's surely going to happen , be intentional and prayerful ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿฝ

      Delete
  27. My mother in law is nice but has her own shortcoming like every other human. Whenever she comes visiting I avoid discussing issues concerning us with my husband .An incident happened some few years back when we discussed about getting a help to assist with the house chores,coincidentally mother in-law came visiting and he informed her about our plans and her response to him was that how many children does she have that she needs a help. At that particular time I had 2 kids and was working. By the time she left and i brought up the issue my husband said I had just 2 kids and should be able to take care of the home without a help I felt very bad by this incidence and I was wondering if the same answer would have been given if I were her daughter. The truth is your mother in-law is not your biological mother and she might sometimes act selfish when it has to do with her son.

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    Replies
    1. Gbamest. Your in laws are not your friends. Maintain a cordial and respectful relationship but understand the boundaries. If push ever comes to shovel, they will choose their child. Only in very rare circumstances will they stand with their DIL or SIL as against their own.

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  28. My mother in law is nice but has her own shortcoming like every other human. Whenever she comes visiting I avoid discussing issues concerning us with my husband .An incident happened some few years back when we discussed about getting a help to assist with the house chores,coincidentally mother in-law came visiting and he informed her about our plans and her response to him was that how many children does she have that she needs a help. At that particular time I had 2 kids and was working. By the time she left and i brought up the issue my husband said I had just 2 kids and should be able to take care of the home without a help I felt very bad by this incidence and I was wondering if the same answer would have been given if I were her daughter. The truth is your mother in-law is not your biological mother and she might sometimes act selfish when it has to do with her son.

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    Replies
    1. Before nko they act selfish when it has to do with their son, at the moment am ttc , hubby has little issue with is sperm count , mother inlaw is still insisting her son doesn’t have any issue, even hubby ‘s ex babe whom they stay together for two years without any baby , she has married someone else and she has a baby now, the lady too complained about hubbys sperm issue but mother inlaw is still saying her son is fine, marriage is indeed a black market , I don have strength for all this drama for real

      Delete
  29. This post is reopening past wounds๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ God please you Mama M. The way you loved and took me like your very own. Your heart is as beautiful as your face and as rich as your lifestyle. It’s a pity it didn’t work out and I will continue to take all the blames ‘cause it was my fault๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

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    Replies
    1. G wagon, why not reach out to your exboo!

      Seeing you like this is disturbing for me!

      Please reach out!
      Peace

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    2. Picture... come here๐Ÿค— but I think @shining have a point, you know.

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    3. big hug ๐Ÿค— ❤ ๐Ÿ’–
      If he's single and you think it's worth another try , go ahead by all means ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿคท

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    4. Big hugs G. What will come will be greater than what was ๐Ÿ’•

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    5. Awwww darling! Reach out to him of you can. I understand pride gets in the way but just... ❤❤❤❤

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  30. My mil is a sweet soul, whenever she visits it is rest for me cos she does everything for me, cooking, cleaning, washing and all. We do have our misunderstanding sometimes and I won't call or visit, if she can't take it anymore she will call and say its cos she does not have a female child and I know she loves me thats why I am doing all these my shakara๐Ÿ˜‚ husband man does not even chuk mouth when he knows we are not on talking terms, he will say " you people will not use me to settle"
    Eka mma i love you and always grateful for a mil like you

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  31. I don't have one. I wish I had.

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  32. My mum in law is a case in her own, I don’t want her to visit me, she’s something else, always extorting my hubby, she’s wants to control my hubbys life , infact from my findings spiritually she does not want my hubby to have a wife at home , we are ttc at the moment, she’s less concerned, hers is to ask for money all the time, am not perfect tho but the woman is full of wickedness even from the way she talks. Am waiting for God to answer my prayers and she comes to famz me , I won’t allow her to come close to me , because when am passing through challenges she is not concerned, so when our kids start coming she should stay on her lane, I don’t need an hypocrite around me and my wonderful family.

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    Replies
    1. Pikin never come n you're sounding this way. You're the problem.

      Delete
    2. Madam na wa for you, na real wa. If she has been disturbing you am sure you will still see her as wicked. Please as you wait on God, please buy honey and drink so you can love that woman. You don't sound nice at all.

      Delete
    3. While I was trying, my mummy wasn't so concerned, likewise my elder sister. I felt they didn't care, I confronted them and truthfully they were extremely concerned but as they didn't know what else to advise me on in order not to increase the panic attacks I was having then, they preferred to keep mute and pray. Pls she might not be less concerned, she might not know what to do in that situation or how you would take it.
      Let go and let God.

      Delete
  33. My brother's MIL is evil. I've not seen a woman so wicked like her. She torments her own daughter that she almost died of HBP after childbirth.
    She's very educated and at the peak of her career. Sometimes I just wonder what her problem is.

    She doesn't want her around even if it's for 2secs but my brother keeps inviting her until she threatened to leave him if he does again.

    She told me last week that she has blocked her mum from reaching her

    She's one of a kind.

    ReplyDelete
  34. My mother in law is nice, love her like kilode, she promised to come over once I give birth, I'm excited even if I know she will not spend more than two weeks.. She like her pant and bra business die๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

    ReplyDelete
  35. My mum in-law is a nice person, she has been so good to me likewise me to her but the problem is that she is domineering, wants to know and control every detail of your life like telling her information about who called you immediately you drop the call, not replying or raising voice at her son cos she believes that men are always right even when you catch them on top another woman making hubby to act like a spoilt child each time she is around, apart these attitude, we are good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is exactly my mil.

      Amy let me tell you eh, if you love your hubby just tolerate her, don't put him in the middle at all, he loves You but always remember she is his mum and he loves her too.
      Most mothers can be domineering, they still see their kids as kids, even when you are an adult. Just speak to her gently but be firm in your decisions, she go tire, good luck!

      Melancholy.


      Delete
    2. My dear that is how I am following her, she do call me stubborn and I know she loves me provided I don't cross her boundary. I pray nothing will make us live together not now nor tomorrow, we are good with visiting.

      Delete
  36. I think my mother inlaw is in a silent war with me....she hardly calls me but calls her child and pray for him daily. Two reasons may have caused this.
    First one time she came to call her son because she lost her key(we used to live close). I told her to sleep over because she was stressed. I didnt know my mouth put me in trouble. I'm igboamd I married yoruba,so my yoruba accent sounds like igbo. So I spoke to her in yoruba "mummy e ni sun?.(I could mean wont you sleep or you wont sleep depending on how you stress the intonation..)so I guess she understood it as "mummy you wont sleep".since then she changed but I felt maybe it's her way because she can be unpredictable at times. When I gave birth she came only once and I even forced her to carry the baby and that was all. Two years later,we went to vist her at her new place and talk led to talk ,she mentioned the incident and said I didn't allow her to sleep in my house. I was shocked. When we got home ,I asked my husband if she was aware of his mum's statement and he said he already apologised. I was very mad and surprised that he didn't even hint me at all. I explained to him what happened and he believed and understood me.. everything began making sense to me my husband's hostility when family issues were raised(he stopped my family from coming)and the way husband people behaved when I gave birth. Some haven't called me till date but they speak every day.
    I know my mum in law hold grudges against me ,she pretends to be cool with me because of her son but action speaks volume. My husband said I shouldn't raise the issue again

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Osalobuha ๐Ÿ™†, what a misunderstanding.. But your MIL is meant to understand your are igbo now and can't speak a fluent yoruba! And your husband sef no tell you what happened and left the whole thing like that??? They left you in the middle of everything without communicating and that's not fair!


      I will implore to just try to be good to them regardless.. Everything will be fine ❤️

      Delete
    2. Please, speak only English with them. Yoruba is a tonal language. You may mean one thing and say another.

      Delete
    3. That's not acceptable cos your mil doesn't know your own side of the story. I am igbo married to yoruba man as well and I dont speak yoruba with my inlaw at all. If you ask me, I would say you buy stuff, go to her, kneel, apologize and explain to her yourself what you meant.even if na cry, cry oh but explain things to her. Hold her by the legs till she accepts. I wont sweep it under the carpet if I were you oh.

      Delete
  37. My husband's mum is late. I wish she were alive. His step mum is just... She's so hard hearted and mean. I tried to take get as my mil but she gave me a very cold shoulder so I've taken my husband's uncle's wife as my mil because she has taken me as her daughter.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Mine is a different story.i got engaged this year. I have a friend that lives an hour away from my soon to be mother in law,a neighbor of my friend comes around to tell my my friend all that is happening in my soon to be in law's home,from the son's marriage, problems in their home,our engagement,our problems,our challenges.
    These are things the son didn't even tell me about,his mouth opened ehne I told him about all that was said. You can imagine a total stranger talking about you like she knows you.
    Abeg, thank God for Corona,the marriage may or may not hold.i am not excited to want to enter that kind of family.
    God help me.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Mine stopped talking to her son twelve years ago because he married me,last thing she told him was DONT COME RUNNING BAC IF ANYTHING HAPPENS,
    To d glory of God my hubby is an angel,loves me like crazy
    We v 4kids she never called to congratulate me for any,she de wait bad news
    May God continue to dissapoint her

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ewooo

      By God's grace there will be no bad news

      Delete
    2. All will continue to be well with your marital life. Amen

      Delete
  40. My mother inlaw is my no1 fan.
    She treats me with the utmost respect and love. And I do same..
    I am very lucky I must say. The tribe is not even an issue. Am Ibo married to an Edo man.
    Most times we speak Hausa when we want to do amebo ๐Ÿ˜€
    I hope I be a great mother inlaw to a wonderful daughter inlaw

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My in-law, more blessings in your marriage.

      Delete
  41. My mother inlaw is selfless. She's very kind. I remember one time we were leaving their house after Christmas, I cried in the car as we were leaving. I wondered how one person can be so nice and kind.

    Just like every human, she's not perfect. Same way I am not perfect as well. She's a choleric and can be quite controlling. She also likes to know everything. My mum is different. My mum is really caring but minds her business a lot so this is new to me.. I've accepted that that's who she is.

    For instance my parents don't know the sex of our baby. I wanted us to surprise our families but my husband had to tell her because she won't stop asking about it almost everyday. She can come across as being nosey or too inquisitive but as I said, I've accepted it o jare.

    She calls every day as well. I think it's one of her love languages. I wish the calls would reduce to maybe twice a week but what can I do? I'm not really the calling type but I'm learning. . In all sha, She's a good woman and I know that most of the things she does is from a good place. So I'm trying to manage what I am not comfortable with.

    This life is too short so I've learnt to pick my battles. Praying to God to make me an amazing mum inlaw.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mother in law and I went back and forth trying to negotiate how many times a week I have to call her when we were kinda having issues with the me calling her part (this was before the wedding), we finally agreed to twice a week. Sometimes if we have something important to talk about we can call any other day but it's mostly Wednesdays and Sundays for us.

      Delete
  42. My MIL is cool But I Like the way we both give ourselves space. She’s so helpful when she comes over, usually stays when she’s about to travel out so she stays for about 3-4 days Per time. I just try to be civil as when I had issues with her daughters she made it clear that blood was thicker than water so now I know where her alllegiamce is but In all I give her her respect.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I remember the day my Mil came into my room without knocking and saw me half naked she dint apologize she only stare for few seconds and left. The following day my husband said I should stop wearing G. String because his mother said she doesn't like it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. This is a perfect climax to this post.

      Delete
    2. Wawu...your husband is one kind.Annoying mama's boy

      Delete
    3. You needed to see how I busted out laughing. Some MILs sha...

      Delete
    4. What???? How's your undies her business. Your husband sef can't tell her that he bought it for you and keep her in her place. Some mummy boys sef

      Delete
    5. Hahahahahaha

      Delete
  44. My Mother in-law is so sweet and kind , she is caring, God fearing and generous !! We are both always cool , we both have our differences , I threat her like my mum n she threats me like her own daughter !! She stays for over 2 months or less when she is around for omugwo . N she helps me with everything without any issue .. to me her sons house is her own house as well .. now that she is late .. I miss her so much !!

    ReplyDelete
  45. My mil was a meanie to me. She ruined her son & turned him to an egotistical brute who cannot admit he is wrong or stand up to her. One of her son (the youngest child) left home & cut all of them off till date because of her bad, controlling behaviour and pitting others against him.
    On our wedding day, my mum packed food for his people & informed hubby and I. Hubby went behind our back & asked the caterer to give out the food. We are ibo so you know the significance of his action.
    The next day, mil blasted me that my mum and I acted poorly raised by not providing food they'd eat at home after the reception. I told her my mum made every arrangement and turned to hubby but he was just mute. In the car, when it was just us, he told me he was the one who tanked the plan. I asked why he said nothing & was creating unnecessary strife between the families? He just brushed it off. At thanksgiving mass, his mum told him that they'd packed their things and would be leaving from there. She refused to listen
    when I tried to whisper and explain during mass, then they left even before mass ended. PT 1

    ReplyDelete
  46. Pt 2
    I was always calling them after that. She'd ignore some & tell hubby I did not check on her. Usually, I was the one who even used my phone to call so he'd speak to them.
    When she visited for omugo, she insisted on sleeping in the baby's room but shut all windows and fan, saying she had a cold she was treating. I told her baby needed air so she should sleep in the guest room or my matrimonial bed while I sleep with hubby, she took offense at not getting her way & slept in the parlour. She later moved to the room. She would not bathe baby till she cooked different meals for her son (not allow me bathe the baby) till night. In a few days, baby had a nasty skin reaction, so I put her feelings aside & bathed my baby myself till she started joining in to do so in the morning. She put robb in the baby's nose behind my back & mucus blocked babys nose (I cried for days & sucked the mucus as baby couldnt sleep, even with medication). When I told her to desist from it, she told me she'd do as she pleased. I told her son & he waited till I was in bed to ask her. She was denying saying she'll do it again when I rushed them and warned her not to make the mistake of lying and told her I wouldnt allow her treat my child like crap so she could pamper her son @ our detriment.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Pt 3
    Before her visit, my car (I bought b4 marriage) was bad & I was cash strapped as her son borrowed all my money and had not paid back. His car was bad too.
    I overheard her saying she'd like to go shopping the next week. I called my mechanic to fix the car to be able to move and blow ac & paid a tiny deposit. I told her son on the morning of, that my car would be available before they left.
    They left while I was napping with the baby & I rushed to call when I heard the compound gate close. She was yelling at him in the background for picking my call & he cut the call. When she returned, she came into the room where I was asleep with the baby and yelled at me, that I was wicked and allowed her shop under the harsh syn, that would I treat my mum the same. My baby woke crying. I was pissed.
    I went after her and asked her why her son did not use the car that I went through great lengths to fix for HER use. My mum used public transport during her stay till she left and didn't bother me.
    Did her son buy me a car? Had he ever paid for it to be fixed? Why did he not fix the car for her use? I told her I was done being treated badly. She called me poorly raised & said my responding to her shows the 1 year of humility was an act. I just retorted that she is a mum to me but I am an adult and would no longer be insulted by anyone.
    Did I mention she wanted to come for Omugo before my own mum who lives in the same state? She went for her daughter's own 1st during her time as is the custom & did not want my mum to come experience it for her 1st grandchild from me (her firstborn). My hubby has already planned it with her but I called her & rescheduled peacefully.
    During her visit, my folks came over to see her but she never returned any visit.
    Too much more to type jare.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad u stood up to her. Nobody has the right to disrespect you just cos u are married to their son. You have really tried. I can’t stand being disrespected, mehn....I just can’t deal...Your husband is a very very weak man.

      Delete
    2. Thank you Anon 8:43am. I have decided to leave with the child; I can cater for us, to the glory of God. He verbally threatened to kill me with 2 new cutlass he bought. That was the beginning of his end. Man that was living off me while using his money to pursue his own ends & he was earning more than I, what I overlooked for foolish love. The lies, threats and not showing up for me or the baby decided it for me.

      Delete
  48. Mother inlaw stayed with me for close to a year when she was having accommodation issues, at first she was nice but she later became friends with some of my neighbours and will always gossip me to to them, she said all manner of evil things against me despite being nice to her and she can keep malice with me for days despite staying in same house but once she see my neighbors she will be happy and start gisting in their own tribe

    ReplyDelete
  49. My mum in law is nice,she hasn't visited yet but I have visited her.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Hmm.. I love my MIL like I would love my mom, gist and gossip with her but since I moved to their family house before I put to bed as hubby was staying in one room, see finish has entered.His parents scold me like a child, always calling panel for me. I became so depressed. This woman travelled to her daughter's house and was caught up by the lock down. I called few days later but she never called me for once all through her 3months stay. So many yeye attitude and hubby is seeing it that I am not being understanding enough to manage the family house. I am almost a shadow of myself and I so much regret ever agreeing to that arrangement, I regret marrying a man who couldn't work out a decent accommodation towards marriage, he believes the house will eventually devolve to him at the expense of my happiness?? Now I am seen as the evil one, I make her bp go high and whatnot according to them. So tired

    ReplyDelete
  51. I love my mother in-law and she loves me alot too but shes always wanting to be the one that detects what is happening in my house when we where newly married because my hubby is the only son and last born,but i didnt let that happen because I don't tell her stuffs and she got the message and accept it that way.

    ReplyDelete
  52. my mother in-law is the worst pretender in the world,she acts as if she likes me but deep down she hates me.the thing is she doesn't know I understand her language she and her daughters gossip about me in front of me,if I post a picture on facebook she will tell me whenever I visit that all I do is buy new clothes, if we go to spend time with her and hubby gets things for the children she would complain that he buys too much stuff for them, if he changes my phone she will say I am making him spend too much money,i just wish we were not in the same city.my only consolation is my husband he loves me and he shows them how much he loves me,whenever there is an issue he doesn't take sides with them he hears from me first and stands by me that's why the think I charmed him, I act cool with them but our mind towards each other is somehow

    ReplyDelete

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