ADVICE NEEDED
Please I need your views on this. I don't know if I am wrong to feel this way.Whenever you buy things for my brother's wife or her kids she doesn't say thank you.
My brother thanks me a lot and his children, my lovely nieces thank me that I get tired and tell them it's okay.
I bought A Gen and Acs for my nieces, they complained of heat. When I took it there, they were jumping up, saying thank you. My brother hugged me and thanked me.
She was happy and told them to put it on so she could enjoy the cool breeze. She heard everyone saying thanks but she kept silent while looking at everything and later went inside to do one or two things. We are not fighting and she is not a bad person.
I noticed her husband, my brother looked upset when he came out of the room then a few minutes later she came to me and said thank you dryly. Why? is what I am confused about.
Even when I visit my parents and I eat their food, I still say thanks. When employees do things for me that they get paid for, I say thank you.
Saying thanks, is normal right?
My nieces asked for a bicycle and a laptop. They got it and their Dad kept praying for me, the children said thank you happily over and over again but the mom just smiled at everything but didn't say a word of appreciation till I left.
One day I visited and she was under the weather. I asked her to relax and cooked for her then cleaned afterwards. I left and no thank you. If you give her a gift she won't say thanks like she is forgetful till you leave. If I were in her shoes, I would have called the person the next day, to say, thanks for yesterday.
Does she feel entitled to what I give them because I love them because I don't understand.
I noticed her husband, my brother looked upset when he came out of the room then a few minutes later she came to me and said thank you dryly. Why? is what I am confused about.
Even when I visit my parents and I eat their food, I still say thanks. When employees do things for me that they get paid for, I say thank you.
Saying thanks, is normal right?
My nieces asked for a bicycle and a laptop. They got it and their Dad kept praying for me, the children said thank you happily over and over again but the mom just smiled at everything but didn't say a word of appreciation till I left.
One day I visited and she was under the weather. I asked her to relax and cooked for her then cleaned afterwards. I left and no thank you. If you give her a gift she won't say thanks like she is forgetful till you leave. If I were in her shoes, I would have called the person the next day, to say, thanks for yesterday.
Does she feel entitled to what I give them because I love them because I don't understand.
In the earlier stage, when she just got married, she would say thanks, but started acting like this, recently when her daughter graduated. My twin sister said this is her true color revealing itself and she has used me and now since her child has graduated she doesn't feel the need to fake appreciation anymore or show basic manners.
I have heard her saying thank you to her neighbors and friends on the phone.
She also doesn't like saying sorry instead, she would say, oh! I didn't know, rather than say sorry. She mistakenly broke my phone screen, when she sat on it. I held it trying to see if it was a minor damage since and she said I didn't know, and I said of course you wouldn't intentionally break it nah and she didn't say sorry and it ended there.
She bumped into me when she was running inside to pick her call, the drink I held spilled and she said I didn't know and her husband said, "why don't you just say sorry, what is, I don't know? You will never say Sorry"
At that moment I realized I was right she never says sorry and thank you.
Should I continue to do things for my brother and his kids and exempt her not because I am looking for thanks but I don't want to be taken for granted.
I have heard her saying thank you to her neighbors and friends on the phone.
She also doesn't like saying sorry instead, she would say, oh! I didn't know, rather than say sorry. She mistakenly broke my phone screen, when she sat on it. I held it trying to see if it was a minor damage since and she said I didn't know, and I said of course you wouldn't intentionally break it nah and she didn't say sorry and it ended there.
She bumped into me when she was running inside to pick her call, the drink I held spilled and she said I didn't know and her husband said, "why don't you just say sorry, what is, I don't know? You will never say Sorry"
At that moment I realized I was right she never says sorry and thank you.
Should I continue to do things for my brother and his kids and exempt her not because I am looking for thanks but I don't want to be taken for granted.
I am confused why she acts like this towards you alone...Is she jealous or deliberately trying to gaslight you to get angry???? I think that you should pause your niceness for a while to see what happens next. Her behaviour is somehow red-flagish.
Saying thank you aint by force, i really dont care about it but what she is doing iant right.
She is definitely an ingrate, docile and a stewpid Lady.
ReplyDeletePlease don't stop doing good to your brothers and the kids.
Also, stop expecting a Thank you from the jezebel.
Furthermore, The whole issue lyes with your brother has has tolerated her excesses for long, and that goes to give you a clearer picture of what goes around in you people's absence.
Please ignore the jezebel and you will see that she will be the one to even rush to you for the Thank you.
DOZZYBEST.
How I hate ungrateful people.
ReplyDeleteSomeone like me would immediately uninstall the ac , take away the gen and withdraw any form of generosity she will directly benefit from.. nonsense
You better stop with your benevolence at least for now.
Please ignore her and don't do anything personal for her ..Focus on your brother and his kids.
ReplyDeletePls take this advice , focus on your brother and his children. They are the one's you are doing it for.
DeleteBest way to go, nothing from you goes to her personally again. She is jealous of the life you have
DeleteSome people just have weird behavior. Sometimes it might not just be about you. It's their low self esteem.
ReplyDeleteMay I never be a bad wife or an unappreciative wife to my husband's family when my husband loves me so much
ReplyDeleteI cannot stand ingrats. The next time you buy something, and she is quiet about it, tell her it won't hurt her to say thank you, when a good deed has been done.
ReplyDeletePoster, hope you're also taking care of yourself as you do all these for your brother and his family? She is full of herself! Pay more attention to you.
ReplyDeleteShe's jealous I guess. That's the only explanation. "Thanks" didn't cut it too. She should learn to appreciate very well. It is better she maintain this energy and not say anything than just thanks. For someone like me sha. The door for don close. Even the bible admonish us not to cast our pearls before swine but I understand that it would look somehow to buy things for your brother and his kids except her. The matter is complicated sha. Just use street smartness to relate with her. Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.
ReplyDeleteWhat if your providing for your brother has made him lazy and dependent on you and she does not know how to tell you to stop so he can work harder . She may not really be bad but may want you to reach out to her privately so she can explain herself .
ReplyDeleteStop giving for a while . Face your front and see if she appreciates your presence better..
This is a solid point. Things often are not what they appear to be. When you’re an aunt you always want to treat your siblings kids. Everybody wants that rich aunt that is giving. You raised a great point though.
DeleteI feel at this point, you should mention it to her husband- your brother. Give him instances of times you got them something and she didn't show appreciation. If there is no change, then withdraw your benevolence. For me, I like people to be aware of why I take some actions.
ReplyDeleteStrange People .... she's jealous becos u have more than her. They are never satisfied unless they have more than others.
ReplyDeleteDont mind her, Continue to do for ur brother n d kids. Thank u for extending ur generousity...
Radarada,poster please ignore her , it is either she is jealous or she is doing it intentionally to hurt your feelings.
ReplyDeleteMixture of jealousy, envy, manipulation, entitlement… / maybe not wanting to be indebted to u….do things with ur brother in mind & also give them space abeg; if u no Dey, they will still survive
ReplyDeleteJust ignore her,And focuse on your brother and children.
ReplyDeleteShe probably doesn’t like you too much or she hates the love and respect her brother has for you. Pray for her, only God knows why she is that way and only He can fix her. So pray for her and leave the rest to God. Thank God you have the means and the heart to help others. It is good to use your life for His glory. Expect nothing from others for your work, face God and His will.
ReplyDeleteJust do your best and leave the rest...
ReplyDeleteIf you can win her over to your world, you have saved a soul.
ReplyDeleteI feel she is doing so because of jealousy ( I could be wrong). Do you then, kill every jealous person around you?
Try to look for methodologies to employ as you try to remove the spirit of jealousy from her.
Does she relate with you at all?
I will advice you to stop giving them anything for now. Learn to say no sometimes when they ask you for anything.
ReplyDeleteShe can be made better. That's my first plan for her. See, how she can be made to see that life is not a competition
ReplyDeleteIf she can say thank you to other people, she must be jealous of you or despising your gifts to the family.. She could be saying indirectly, "nothing special about this your gifts". Or, "I never begged you for anything".
ReplyDeleteDoesn't she have anything to give you sometimes?
ReplyDeleteAre you rejecting her own gifts?
Inferiority complex is messing with her
ReplyDeleteJealousy is witchcraft and nothing more
ReplyDeletePoster, please ignore her, God bless you for looking after your brother and his children. I have a sister inlaw like forming what i dont know.
ReplyDeleteShe no be better person
ReplyDeleteIgnore her, she is a rotten soul!! Inferiority complex and jealousy will be her undoing.
ReplyDeleteTotally ignore the silly woman
I sneaked up on my son and caught him watching anime porn on discord. What should I do ? My heart dey beat fast since .I'm just speechless. Upon the church he goes every Sunday plus altar offire I'm on . Pls I need advice .thanks
ReplyDeleteYour son is a normal human being
DeletePoster, the lady belongs to those people that say “ I don’t say sorry and I don’t say thank you” my sister in law was like that, she actually said it to us.
ReplyDeleteSo what did I do? I concentrated on my brother and his children, I ignored her in all totality. I don’t asked about her, I don’t wish her happy birthday, I see them on internet because they live in New Zealand. I blocked her but left her mum. Occasionally her mum will greet me and I will greet her back.
I don’t want to go into details of what this lady did because it’s still breaks my heart each time I remember it. Now my brother told me that she wrote an apology letter and was trying to send it to me but I have blocked her. I told my brother that I am not a child, I am in my 50s and they should give me time to think about whether the apology will be accepted or not. Because in every action, there are many consequences.
I think the reason they did is, first if you don’t have a child of your own or a husband (like me) They might think you are buying their children’s love. Secondly, they are jealous of the bond you share with your brother and thirdly they are just outright wicked.
Do good for them when she’s not there
ReplyDeleteShe's envious of you and she's an ingrate, ignore her totally and treat her like she doesn't exist, anything you're doing is for your brother, since your brother and his children genuinely appreciate you and what you're doing for them, just make sure you ignore.
ReplyDeleteThose two signs are the one perfectly displayed by people who have witchcraft spirit. You might say i am over the top, but you would understand later when her children started to make money and she stopped your prosperity.
ReplyDelete