Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

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Wednesday, July 01, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

Hmmmmmmmm.....








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

CANT STOP LOVING HIM


I reconnected with my ex and I'm just sad we didn't fight harder for our love.

We are both married now, my family rejected him for tribal differences, and my baby cried. He begged me to move in with him but I wanted things to be done correctly, so I declined. After a while, he felt we weren't really moving forward so he asked that we end our relationship. 


We both agree now that it was the biggest mistake we made - listening to all the vision-seeing people too who had nothing good to say wasn't helpful. I wish we were bolder and wiser. Maybe we'd have eloped sef.



Anyways, years down the line, we are married to other people. I'm luckier, my home is peaceful, I just never fell in love again anyway, so after 2 years of not being able to get over him, I picked the next good man from my list of chykers, we didn't even date because I really wasn't interested in relationships, I just wanted to start a family. He on the other hand seems to be having a messed up married life and it breaks my heart all over again.


I know there's isn't really anything we can do to be together again, but sometimes I wish I was a bit more stubborn back then. I for just carry belle mehn.

I just needed somewhere to vent because each time we reconnect, the emotions are so raw, sometimes I delete everything that reminds me of him and ask him to do same so that we can have a go at making it worthwhile for a d with the people we married. It just never works. Stella I've stayed away from him for 5 years straight, no happy birthdays, no merry Christmas, nothing. But there wasn't any single week in those years that I didn't think of my baby. Countless times I'd typed out a text or keyed in his number and just managed to restrain myself from pushing that send or dial button.



 We've reached out again and it's like we never took a break. We never really admit our feelings to each other now, out of respect to our spouses, but something tells me that if I'm left alone with him in a room, I'll darn all consequences and fulfill my fantasies - for someone that married as a Virgin, that huge, it's not a thing I'm proud of, I'm just saying how I feel.

Don't worry guys, he won't break my home and I won't break his, I just want to know what coping mechanisms I can adopt. I want to stop missing him, I want to stop having daydreams. I want to stop being aroused at the thought of the good times.




*Your story reminded me of Ray parker Juniors song ...The one about being all confused and not knowing what to do ''cos i still cant get over loving you.when i hear your name,im filled with Jealousy cos i want you for myself....''
I will not be advising you on this one cos its bad advice i feel like giving...I am a sucker for these kinds of emotions so lemme leave those who ''Mary Amaka good two shoes'' to advice you.

163 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Egungun be careful, you don reach express. Wetin remain na to cross make car jam u

      Delete
    2. Devil is beating drum for you and you're dancing!
      Aunty, no road there. Even mere friendship with him is most unwise.
      If it was meant to be, it would have been. Face what you have now and leave the past in the past.
      Anything less than that will definitely end up in premium tears.

      Delete
    3. Poster have a sit down discussion with an elderly person that you trust. Please don't discuss with your husband. It will break him. You need to STOP. We all sometimes wish we married someone else sometime. Remember nothing is perfect.

      Delete
    4. Poster I believe you love God and wouldn't want to hurt him or your husband make this the reason you will overcome this feeling. I have been there and both of us two knows we there not be left alone in a room because we never had sex together like yours. He was my first love and funny enough his wife knows about me and always scared he return to me until I got married but to the glory of God I am fine now but I make sure I stopped calling him that way I can focus on my husband.

      Delete
    5. Stop contacting your ex, delete his number, block all avenues with which he can reach you. You need to stop responding or initiating chats. On no account should you meet up for drinks or anything!!

      This has nothing to do with the devil, It is common sense. You guys till have feelings for each other and you will find reasons to hook up.If you hook up, you will have sex.

      If you were destined to be together, It would have happened. Stop giving him a listening ear and let him fix his home while you face yours. You don't even know how your marriage would have turned out If you married him. The grass is not always greener.You are married now so respect that.

      All the best.

      Delete
  2. One of the coping mechanisms will start from you not referring to him as 'my baby'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 不不不不不不不

      I tell thee oh!!

      Delete
    2. Am a sucker too for this kind of love. Poster move on pls‍♀️‍♀️

      Delete
    3. 不不 lmao !!!
      I thought i was the only one .

      Delete
    4. My baby ko my baby nii 不不不不不

      Delete
    5. Someone else's baby for now.

      Delete
    6. Just say you want to have sex together,then una eyes go clear,maybe then you will both face front and enjoy your marriages.The devil is clapping and you just wanna dance to the rythm,how would you feel if it's your husband that is feeling this way about his ex,make una dey fear God ooo.

      Delete
    7. You need to leave the past in the past.
      MOVE ON!!! There simply isn't any other way to say it.

      Delete
  3. Awww I'm speechless too o.
    Hmmm. Sannu ku.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I were in your shoes and I find that I am about to destroy a good marriage with childish fantasies, I will tell my husband or my mom or my Priest, or someone I know will slap some sense into me.

      Poster let me tell you; i am sure you are quite young. See, you can go ahead and go f.ck him and watch your whole life fall to your feet like a pack of cards. Let me tell you how its likely gonna happen; you sleep with him once and it's orgasmic and you do it again and he will convince you to leave your marriage or you unconsciously start acting strange towards your husband and he will find out, either way you will loose the peace and stability you have now on a silver platter.

      Don't forget that this same angel of a man is having marital issues at home that he hasn't resolved but might decide to use you to distract himself. Stolen meat is the sweetest but when it now becomes your own, you will see the flaws laid bare.

      You just need to go back to ghosting him. A time will come in the future when you are more mature to handle a cordial, healthy, clean relationship with him.

      Delete
    2. God bless you Sapphire. Poster why is this man having issues in his marriage? That could have been you in the wife's shoes. Use your tongue to count your teeth. Since you missed marrying the one you love,start praying for the strength to love the one you have married. May the force be with you.

      Delete
    3. Dont mind her
      . Im sure the man is making her feel his wife is the problem.
      Ikwakwakwakwa.
      When you marry him, you'll discover he's no prize

      Delete
    4. @Saphire said it all

      Delete
    5. Thank you Saphire you've written well.
      Poster I hope you're reading comments.

      Delete
    6. Should have, would have, could have... Those phrases are only good for one to learn from them, not to dwell incessantly on them.

      It seems it would have worked out if you tried harder, right?

      But then this are all maybes,
      Why don't you dwell on another set of maybes.

      Maybe if you got married to your "baby" you would have regretted it.

      Maybe he is a monster in marriage and he is the one causing the problem in his marriage.

      Maybe his marriage is going on fine, but he is just bored and thought about you

      Maybe his coming back to you is not with good intentions.

      Maybe you both do come together, you get caught, but " baby" has no plans of leaving his " unhappy marriage" for you

      Maybe if you keep up this situationship with him you will find out you do happen to love your present husband and you are just bored and complacent with your happy life

      Maybe you actually have a better thing going with your husband than you will have had with "baby"

      Maybe you are just deceiving yourself and this love seems beautiful only because it is impossible.

      Maybe you can spark up love in your marriage if you put your heart to it

      Maybe you should try to start calling your own husband baby and not some ex

      Maybe you should consider this maybes, they might work.

      Delete
    7. Dont tell your husband jack o.

      Delete
  4. Hmmm just b careful so you don’t end up breaking ur marital vows. And if you two ended up together how are you so sure you would work out? My advice block him from all social media platforms and calls and focus on your family. Stop smelling what u won’t eat or else with time u will chop belle full Nd d awoff wil choke you .

    ReplyDelete
  5. Biko no vez, who is your baby?
    Madam you better reject the devil and his works. Concentrate on being a virtuous woman and leave confusion for dayanu

    ReplyDelete
  6. Okay ooo we hear, continue till you destroy your home. It is then you will know the grass is not greener at the other side. Don't put this energy into your own marriage, you will soon be saying had I know.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hmmmm.same experience here.its been 10yrs still feels like yesterday.we agreed on keeping our distance,yet I check up on him everyday via FB.Did I also mention that I pray for him daily.hmmm this thing called love,can be a one in a lifetime event.just face front and keep up.u can't change d situation

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eeeiiyaa!! I can totally relate oo my dear, it is well.

      Delete
    2. Keeping your distance is the way. Doh keep on the track.

      Delete
    3. Me too. I live with it. Affects my prayer life... He cheated on me and destroyed what we had. I don’t call him but he calls me from time to time and the wound opens again and I miss him so much it hurts. I think it’s the price to pay from premarital sex...

      Delete
  8. "You won't break his home and he won't break yours..." and you think about him every second. And you are fantasizing being in the same room with him and fulfilling vanities?元‍♀️元‍♀️元‍♀️元‍♀️元‍♀️元‍♀️元‍♀️
    You see madam, Satan has all the tools to work with plus a scholarship with full expenses paid.
    If you do not belong to Christ now, discipline the lust in your flesh through fasting, and immerse yourself in the teachings of Christ, the devil
    could work out the ugly. 元‍♀️元‍♀️元‍♀️元‍♀️元‍♀️元‍♀️ You won't only push the send button, you will push the undress and lies button. 元‍♀️元‍♀️元‍♀️元‍♀️元‍♀️
    At worse, you might blame it on alcohol or the devil and he will be laughing at you.
    I have only told you the truth like the clear blue sky.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not everything is about sex. These are two people who clearly love or attached to each other. Not everything is an opportunity to judge people for sexual immorality

      Delete
    2. The way some people go about this sex sex talk it will as if adults no longer hold or control themselves, like are humans now goats?? oo Chinekenna.

      Delete
    3. @16:01
      The judgment your wrote about is only existing in your head, not in that comment up there.

      Delete
    4. No. The bond they have was achieved without sex in a pure relationship. Remember she married hew husband a virgin.

      Hmm...virgin brides are always entangled in this "what if" web. Why?! Me I already know that there is no other man for me on this planet earth because I have been there, done that and I know for sure that I got the best.

      Delete
    5. I don't normally agree with this anon but on this one, Poster please listen to her. See how that Twitter influencer is blaming alcohol? May your case no go be like that. Cut the guy off. He is not your baby. He is a full grown adult who belongs to your past.

      Delete
    6. @Saphire
      See how you reduced the entire marital institution (you are involved in) to three letters
      SEX. Wow!
      And this poster told us that one room cannot contain her and her "baby" and you say what?

      Delete
    7. @Saphire
      See how you reduced the entire marital institution (you are involved in) to three letters
      SEX. Wow!
      And this poster told us that one room cannot contain her and her "baby" and you say what?

      Delete
    8. I actually agree with this one you said.
      Poster what you feel for him now is lust, not love. Instead of asking God why you didn’t end up with him, ask God to show you what he saved you from. And please stop calling him baby, it’s disgusting coming from a married woman to another married man.

      Delete
    9. The devil's scrotum is really dancing naked, madam flee from it. Delete that dreamland fantasies before you land in crying fantasies, that guy has a peaceful home too, be deceiving yourself.

      Who feeling epp?

      Delete
  9. Lemme read comments.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My dear, sadly the feelings never go away. You just have to make a conscious effort not to reach out to and quell the raging feelings.

    I cannot come and destroy my life because of feelings. Mbanu

    I am a very rational person. I weigh the pros and cons before taking any major decisions in this life.

    Tell yourself that it was not meant to be, and think of the damage it will cause if you ever give in to them.
    Peace ☮️

    ReplyDelete
  11. A married woman calling another woman's husband her baby?
    Stop deceiving yourself dear, no amount of coping mechanism will work for you,you will eventually sleep with him So no need wasting my comment on you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. If you want to stop fantasizing, daydreaming about him and being sexually aroused just by the thought of him, then, you should stop thinking about him!
    Everything is in the mind, you should learn to be in control of your mind and emotions, it will save you from future disaster. Your emotions will wreck you, your home and your family, if you refused to put a stop to it and have sense.

    You are already partially committing adultery by your actions. A married woman calling her long lost ex boyfriend "my baby". If you know your body, heart and mind will betray you when you finally decide to go on a drink or tea date with your ex; i advice you to make sure you don't bring in an innocent baby into it. We know how many of these types of stories usually ends.

    The time you use to think about your ex, use it to study your Bible and read about the virtuous woman. Use it to think about all the good things your husband is doing for you, use it to plan a better future for yourself.

    Stop it small madam!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My own dilemma is that I’m still in love with my ex of over 10 years. I have moved on and married now but I find myself thinking about him especially when I listen to songs we loved. The memories remain unruffled and I just miss him. I’m lucky coz hubby’s d**k is sweeter, bigger and juicer so it helps me face front. Let reality take over. Knacking is bae!

      Delete
    2. Thank you.
      I don’t believe it’s love anymore. And calling him baby is just plain yuck 丐.

      Delete
  13. Hope you know you are already cheating on your husband emotionally sha? Just a reminder

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam! And you need to confess to your husband ASAP.

      Delete
  14. "Don't worry guys, he won't break my home and I won't break his, I just want to know what coping mechanisms I can adopt. I want to stop missing him, I want to stop having daydreams. I want to stop being aroused at the thought of the good times."

    Madam, you see that comment, I can bet it's just a matter of time. Keep reconnecting as a faulty NEPA cable that you are, oneday you will connect well and and pray make transformer no blow.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Another one bites the dust..Poster did you read of an ''Ada'' that used her hands to wreck your home? Please just let things be..If he is having a hard time with his wife how is that your business..Both of you belong to your individual spouses so please be faithful to him..I know its not you talking but your heart and your pussy..Think with you head and stop living in a fool's paradise..Stop waiting at the airport for a ship that will never arrive or would even be wrecked before you know it..You have your life to live, if you like you can sleep with him but please don't come here with premium tears when there is fire-on-the-mountain top..All the best..

    ReplyDelete
  16. hahahaha Mary Amaka good two shoes Stella you no go kii person. Poster what do they say happens to egg inside frying pan on a hot stove? One thing you need to realize is that you have the will to stop thinking about him but you haven't ignited that will maybe because you enjoy the fantasies you have about him. make up your mind and you'll find out you can do it. And don't forget that Na from clap e dey enter dance o

    ReplyDelete
  17. Madam face your work abeg

    ReplyDelete
  18. Please focus on your family. You're fortunate you married a good man. Don't do something that would make him regret being good. A good husband is very scarce o. Your ex probably has a bad marriage because he is a bad husband.

    Stop reconnecting with your ex. Don't destroy your life with your own hands. Trust me. If you act on those feelings and have an affair with your ex, the aftermath will be more destructive for you than for him. The world will humiliate you more. Your good marriage will scatter. His bad marriage will probably still remain.

    Real life is not Mexican soap opera like When You're Mine and Rebecca. Don't be deceived.

    Delete ALL contact with him. Phone numbers, social media. Avoid him totally.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Reminded me of a book I read.
    You both allowed the people of the world that all had their various lives, married their various spouses without you or the love of your life meddling in their affairs dictate and run your lives for you both, you guys made a terrible mistake and what you're both going through is the consequences of your mistakes.
    Will never advise you to cheat on your lovely husband especially when he's good to you, I just think you both should both learn to live with your mistakes and also plan professionally well on where and how to meet on a date, eat together, look at each other in the eyes, vent your pains and mistakes, tell each other how much you love and wished you were both married, wipe the tears off each others eyes, hug and spend a quiet time together holding each others hands, I Bet the both of you will feel better, The excessive wanting and craving for each other will reduce a bit. But this is only if the both of you can control yourselves to not end up having sex oo.
    Sorry about what you're passing through deaey❤️❤️.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chisom they will straff oh

      Delete
    2. This may be too hard to sail through considering how deeply she feels about him, but it sure sounds helpful

      Delete
    3. Chisom,I don't think this is a good advice o.
      They will end up holding hips o not hands alone because they have finished work and cum sef without seeing.

      Delete
    4. I don't vibe this gehs comments, buh she's spot on today. Poster, take this advice. This is your healing!

      Fighting it is worse. It will never go away!!!!!

      Reconnect, meet, cry, talk about it together, laugh, be happy and UNDERSTAND that it shouldn't evolve to sex! Sex is the only thing that will rubbish everything and the innocence of that love.

      Delete
    5. Easier said than done.This thing called love eh!

      Delete
  20. Lol @my baby...

    Just one hot round will solve this dear

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah one hot round and plenty hot scales will fall off your eyes

      Delete
    2. And plenty bowl of crying fantasies...

      Delete
    3. No hot round please

      Poster MOVE ONNNNNN!

      He is the past

      Your husband and family is the future

      Delete
  21. What do you want? Go and continue the chopping then you will rest.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Madam...most married people have that person they still love and wish they were with. We live with it. My advice: continue to respect your spouses and face front in your marriage. Imagine if your husband still felt this way about his ex...how will you feel? Face front.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well said ma, we just live with it

      Delete
    2. Yeah we live with it. 20 yrs and still counting. The feelings never really go away.

      Delete
  23. In marriage grass is always greener at the other side especially for virgins like you that did not end encounter several men before marriage. You might leave your husband for him only to realise that what you felt for your ex is infatuation which fades with time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmmm, confirm, this is what has been holding me back from fucking and romancing my love interest

      Delete
    2. God bless you. She's sure she'd have had a better marriage with the ex? No one knows.
      Please, stop all communications with the ex. You think you made a mistake, right? How are you sure God didn't save you from a bad marriage?
      You're fantasizing sex with your ex... O dikwa very risky.
      Don't ruin your life with your own hands. Your husband will not forgive you, and you know the worst? You won't forgive yourself either.
      Then, your eyes will clear, when it's already too late.

      Delete
  24. Like they say, true love never dies.

    ReplyDelete
  25. this is a hard one cos the heart wants what the heart wants.sadly you married a man you did not love so you will continue to have that void in your life. since you value your present marriage then continue to stay away and keep deleting anything that will make you meet your old flame if not na spark wey go turn to big inferno. stop communicating with him simple. try and love your new husband. i wont lie, dont know how that will work but some people say you can.

    ReplyDelete
  26. hh
    I love someone like this... I'm scared of what'll happen if it doesn't work out between us.
    I'm always thinking of him, I feel so safe when I'm with him. He has never intentionally hurt me... never.Etc He's amazing in alot of ways. My self esteem that was dead received a big boost from him... he's constantly cheering me on and reminding me of my amazing qualities

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hmmmm.... @ poster, I've been there, believe me I've towed that path. I will advise you go intimate with each other one or few times, look for his bad sides, tame on that and believe me you will hate him forever...but don't let your hubby have a clue or hint oooo. Don't mind some Hippocrates that will come here and be dishing out what they preach but won't practice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hippo what??? Bye. Just, bye!!! ‍♀️‍♀️‍♀️‍♀️‍♀️

      Delete
    2. You can’t even spell HYPOCRITES 丹‍♀️丹‍♀️

      What is *Hippocrates, next time you want to give a wrong advice, at least get the spelling correctly.

      Delete
    3. Which kain advice be this???

      At least if u must insult, use the right word. Its hypocrites not hippocrates.

      Delete
    4. Shame on you. Some of us respect that institution, marriage. The fact you don't respect your marriage doesn't mean others don't. See how you called pope hypocrite just to make you feel good about what you did. You are senseless and shameless.

      Delete
    5. wow her hubby might not have a clue or hint but an all seeing eyes does,how about that.

      Delete
    6. Poster avoid this advice like Covid-19!

      Delete
    7. Awon Hippocrates... Poster take this advice you will land in crates.

      Ochi atom shege..

      Delete
    8. Shooter bye

      Yes oh @ Bini poster wear a face shield
      Avoid this comment like a plague.

      Delete
    9. H Y P for the hyp for the hypopo..

      Delete
  28. I was like you .....also married a V but couldnt get over the ex, i had a peaceful home with a loving hubby but just never loved hubby......reconnected wt the ex and started a full blown adult affair on our own terms......it was all mushy and loving and right yet wrong all at the same time.....eventually the honeymoon period ended and i started to see the same flaws his wife saw!!

    You know? That period of our separation, we grew" up and acquired habits we never knew of.......but it didnt matter because we were in love though there was a mental note of it......eventually i realised fantasy and reality were different. I had a happy home, an amazing hubby and wasnt going to throw it out for some temporary thingy!

    I made a choice, a very easy choice because my hubby had been good to me and an amazing man to the kids.....i wasnt going to throw it away and i think u should do the same
    ......wean yourself of this dude emotionally and face your home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If someone had adviced you before going ahead you wouldn't have listened,You had to taste before realizing. Poster you don't have to experiment learn from other people's mistake

      Delete
    2. Poster take this advice o, you are not in love, Toto just dey scratch you

      Delete
    3. Poster this is a possible future if you don't stop all those teenage fantasies! Learn from this comment above.

      Delete
    4. Poster this is someone that has been there ,
      You do not need to make your own mistake to learn your lessons .
      You could learn from this .

      Delete
  29. Poster until you fuck him you will have no peace,resist the devil and he will flee, unless you are ready to bear the consequences,pls face front and cut off all ties permanently,peace✌️

    ReplyDelete
  30. Imagine living your life being unhappy.Pathetic! For how long would you continue like this??? I have no advice for you only that life is short.

    ReplyDelete
  31. It's had to fall in love twice,please give your self brain.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Your problem lies in the fact that you both never had sex during your relationship. you didn't have time to f**k it out of your system, now you are imagining how that amu would have look like.

    Madam you better face front, the grass is not always greener. he might even be a two minutes man, what a waste of sin!
    madam cut all communication, change your number, ask God to purify your thoughts and face your home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes o Bella, this woman just want a feel of another d#$k

      Delete
    2. Gaskia. One romp and I am sure her eye will clear!

      Delete
  33. I have been in your shoes but I am happy I damned the consequences and today we are married so I understand how you feel and there is nothing you can do about it but to avoid him as much as possible because you are trapped for life except the unavoidable happens God forbid. My friends church member who lost the wife two years ago recently got connected back to his ex who is now a widow too after 25years of stomaching his emotions, he confessed to my friend that he has always loved the woman and wished they didn't give up on each other or succumb to pressure from the society, they will be getting married soon but I don't wish that for you.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Just enjoy your own marriage and let him enjoy his, if it's meant to be you would come back together no matter the distance. What's yours always finds a way to come back to you.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Divorce ur husband and go back to ur ex na. Ur eyes go soon clear

    ReplyDelete
  36. Poster, you're calling him your baby already? Haba naw, you're married now. Just let go and concentrate on your family, inugo? Don't allow the devil to use you.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Madam face front and cut all ties with him..I bet you that you that both of you will knack peradventure you meet! So cut all ties now to avoid stories that touch later!!

    How long will you keep savoring the moments you once shared? Focus on your husband and leave him alone with his family too

    ReplyDelete
  38. Madam, you are deeply involved in emotional adultery.

    ReplyDelete
  39. If you go to him, you will regret it. You once dated him in the past and were in love but do you know what it is like to be married to him? Dating is different from marriage and most times the person you think you know as a single person may end up to be a stranger in marriage. Many years has gone by and you think he is still the same man? He hasn't develop a few vices along the line, did you really know him well back then at all or you are just in love with the memories of what you think he represents, the person you feel he is? If he was that good why is he marriage not working out?

    This is why a lot of singles are scared to get married. You on one hand, will be giving your best, giving it your all to your partner just to have an enviable marriage not knowing the woman you married has decided to invite the devil as a guest. One person will be trying to keep the flame burning while the other will be cooking up a storm to dampen the flame. The other partner would just wake up and decide to ruin everything and make you clueless. God forbid this be out portion. Amen.

    This is why most marriages crumble. You don't seem to be going through what most Nigerian women complain about here from what I deduced.
    You don't have FIL/MIL/SIL/BIL problem
    Obviously You don't have finance issues.
    You don't have a philandering husband
    Nor are you in the hands of an abusive man either physically or emotionally.
    I see! No wonder you have enough time on your hand to fantasize about how to ruin your marriage. You are just bored since your life lack excitement. And as they say, 'An idle woman is the devil's workshop'.
    Instead of thinking of how to repay your man and appreciate him for being good to you by asking us to surprise him you are here with this. You sat down and penned this down in the comfort of your home? Where was your man while you were writing this? He probably smiled at you while planting a kiss on your forehead and you smiled back.

    Madam you obviously do not have any problem in your marriage that is why you are looking for one. May God help you.

    Gates.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well said.
      Poster try not to be idle...I think you are like Gates has said.

      Delete
    2. As in eh, this life is not perfect one bit. She doesn't have any of the common problems you listed, but of course something has to spoil it and bring in imperfection. This her problem seems small, but it is very big cos it threatens the marriage itself. Abeg marry who you love and who loves you back. Me I can never marry for marrying sake. I know some ladies fall in love later with who married them, fine. But I am so self aware, I know that it won't work for me that way. I have to love you and be sure you love me as well before we enter.

      Delete
    3. Gates, a million kisses for you

      Delete
    4. Martie, pls pls don't kill someone's son with your halitosis

      Delete
    5. Shooter gyal.. that was rude and uncalled for.

      Nothing attractive about being a cyber bully.

      Very well said Gates.

      Delete
  40. Do u think ur husband doesn't have someone he loved before you? ,before you act selfishly think of the peace, love, all round fruitfulness you have around you, count your blessings name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the lord has done.so many women are praying for what u have, Only God can help you, don't run away from him, keep in touch with him and ask God to help you overcome the feelings, you will notice one disgusting habit about him that will help you to delete the feelings for ever, you don't run away from ur fears u face it,

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  41. Start with not calling someone's husband your baby. Redirect that energy to your spouse. What you feel for him is not allowing you concentrate on your good marriage. If he is that good, why is he having problems in his marriage? Madam, be careful not to spoil the good thing God has blessed you with. It's not difficult. Block every avenue of communication. Leave your past behind.

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  42. Poster let's assume your husband was talking to a friend about this exact topic and was also addressing his ex as 'my baby' as well, fortunately you over heard him. What will be your reaction?

    Will you pretend its not your business and indirectly create an avenue for him to go ahead and satisfy his worldly desires with his ex while still married to you? Or divorce him inorder to set him free? Or will you be so angry and make his life miserable for not being contented with you?

    It was a decision you both took as adult, why regretting it? Go ahead and make yourself happy and have it in mind that whatever you sow, you must reap.

    ReplyDelete
  43. U know what u wanted, you are just looking for someone to urge you on.....
    Someone said u should “Fuck it out”

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the devil hates peace

      FLEE ALL APPEARANCES of evil

      Delete
  44. As humans we have to power to turn back the hannds of time, so, just face your marriage,engage yourself properly and cut all for of communication with him

    ReplyDelete
  45. Nothing as beautiful getting married to the one that has your heart.
    The one that loves you dearly too.
    I dated my ex for 6 years.We couldn't take it forward because he is a core Muslim and northern. While,I a Christian and southern.We have broken up several times but still come back.He even married and still marriage didn't work.I have dated and too nothing.

    It is a pathetic situation.He understands and tolerates my excesses. I understand him too.I did alot of spiritual exercise to break the bond and warned him to stay away from me.

    I think of him sometimes but immediately say prayers to cut his energy off my space.

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  46. You guys should have a discreet affair.

    Fuck it out of your systems, if that doesn’t fade the feelings then you’ll know it’s time for both of you to free your spouses and get married.

    People will tell you to forget him but for some people, they only truly love once.
    I also don’t think it’s fair to your spouses to be with them when your hearts are somewhere else.

    So be brave for once, find out if there’s something there. If there isn’t, at least you’ll know you tried.

    ReplyDelete
  47. My dear madam first of all, he's not your baby ANYMORE, you are now married to someone else, please for the love of God start praying, asking God to deliver you from this problem the devil wants you to enter. I had this same problem but we met after marriage and honestly we were going through rough times with our different spouses. I got to a point where I cried out to God in my heart to deliver me because in the years we were in touch, we were far apart but we knew that if we are ever alone it will happen. 5yrs!!! My dear with time I snapped out of it. For almost a year I haven't called him, the day we spoke on my side No Feelings. MAY GOD HELP YOU IN JESUS NAME AMEN

    ReplyDelete
  48. Hmmm..naso e take dey start.
    No just start wetin you no fit finish,na beg I beg you.
    This is my advice for you ma'am

    ReplyDelete
  49. See baby still dey call person "baby" wey don tell u say make Una move on.. now to my advice... Go and see him jare just few hours make e shine ur Congo.. make God den catch u ..u get bele or ur "daddy" (ur husband) catch u den u go see say d guy don forget u teytey...

    ReplyDelete
  50. I thought I was the only one that deletes information of someone I loved and want to forget from my phone. It is well with you madam. I'm not married but I pray that God will give you wisdom to handle this

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  51. If the emotions are real, you both should divorce your partners and get married to each other.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Poster please stop feeding your fantasy and you will start saying things that will make you fall out if love with him, please don't spoil your peaceful home.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Lust is a powerful spirit but God's love is greater. My dear you can try Chisom's suggestion of meeting with him to talk over and get it out. However, I encourage you to fast against lust, just enter spiritual warfare immediately cos that spirit is stubborn and won't easily go away. When you learn to say NO to a legitimate pleasure (food), it strengthens your spirit and enables you to say NO to sinful pleasures. It's the discipline our soul and body needs from time to time. Call on the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to love your husband deeply. Forget the past completely. Goodluck!

    ReplyDelete
  54. I believe somehow there is a soul tie between the two of you
    You need to set physical and emotional boundaries and be disciplined about detaching yourself from him,because if its a partial wanting it won't work ,you have to mean it, say it with your mouth and confess that you don't want this relationship in any way
    And when you find yourself drifting away in thoughts about him , blank out that thought,get up from the spot and walk away.
    *How to break a soul tie*
    • Awareness is the heart beat of therapy. Acknowledge the unhealthy past, avoid the person and ask God to give you the strength to move on. If any sins were committed to cause this soul tie, repent of them.

    • Destroy or give away any gifts given to you by the other person. Items that symbolise the ungodly practices in past and present relationships such as rings, flowers, cards and bras can hold a soul tie in place if not let go.

    • Renounce any vows or commitments made that played a part in forming the soul tie. Even things like “I will love you forever”, or “I could never love another man!” need to be renounced. They are spoken commitments that need to be undone verbally.
    And someone said stop calling him baby that's true ,you have to snap out of this fantasy you have made for yourself
    Ask God for strength and wisdom to overcome this struggle, he will endow you with strength to wisdom to win and your story will be someones lifting someday
    You will pull through this phase ,because behind the scene is the devil throwing filthy thoughts into your mind
    Rebuke the devil and he will flee from your home and mind
    You can do this.see you at the victory side


    ReplyDelete
  55. He’s just there because he can’t get over the fact that he did not tear your rubber. You married as a virgin hence more gullible than the average sharp babe. You better wake up. Did you talk to the wife for you to believe he has a bad marriage or he’s using you to emotionally destroy his wife and you are feeling special. Until devil pushes you to mess with him and he exposes you as a useless wife. Your marriage will crash and his will remain. He will move on to another catch. Oh you believe he has forgiven you for making him wait for sex so long, only to give it to someone else because your parents said no. Don’t be stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  56. A well know mechanism for men is to paint a picture of "my home is hell and I'm unhappy" they do this to get the woman outside feeling for them. Just know that his home is NOT probably as unhappy as you said. Once you sleep with him he will say...I love my wife...be wise...

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  57. Mennn poster, I’m so so pissed off at you and at the same time I feel sorry for you. You’re a very selfish human being though and you don’t deserve that man that loved you all those years and out of respect didn’t have sex with you. Leave that man alone! You did not fight for the so called love. Your love did not stand the test of time because after all, it wasn’t strong enough. Don’t you read stories of how some lovers don’t give up and at the end of the day, family gave them their blessings and end up together. Now you’re in a loveless relationship, your families and those bad mouthing your relationship have moved on. You’re the one stuck in a marriage and wishing otherwise. I honestly don’t even understand why Some parents won’t Let their children marry who they love, especially if they know dude is a good man. Or maybe he’s not rich enough so they declined anyway? Is that what it is? A part me wants you Both to have sex and release those emotional pains and hurt. Make love, cry it out together and after, close that chapter and work on loving your husband because you have a peaceful home. It might backfire on you though, you may end up pregnant or fall even deeper in love with him as love making with someone you’re emotionally connected to is 10x better. But The Christian part of me says, you better not try it! Respect your vows and let that man be and figure himself out. You chose not to fight for your love and these are the consequences, you’ll just have to deal with it. Some people let go of their God given husbands all in the name of what parents will say and end up in a loveless marriage. You think God sees tribes and all that? At the end of the day, we are all created equal regardless of tribes/race! What are you going to do? Keep us updated please and good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  58. From Poster,

    Stella nagode for posting on my behalf. I have taken in all 150+ comments and I am grateful to the blog visitors that kindly offered useful pieces of advice.

    Knowing the conservative family I come from in Plateau, I wasn't under any illussions that it will be a challenge to sail through with a man from Delta. Reason I said I wished we fought more. But like I said, I'm trying to move forward, which is why I am choosing a place where I can be candid about my battles.

    I may need to correct the 'my baby' impression too, of course he isn't my baby anymore, I used that in reference to the times when he was (because all I have now are memories of a time in the past, isn't it?).


    The main thing I took away from the comments were:

    1. I am not alone in this dilemma, other people go through same.
    2. I am able to come out of this dilemma, other people have achieved same.


    So thanks to the blog visitors who highlighted these through their kind comments. I am more determined to steer my life correctly.

    Thanks again, Stella.

    ReplyDelete

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