Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Man Walks Out On Sick Wife In Hospital After He Is Told She Would Not Be Able To Have Kids..

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Sunday, August 09, 2020

Man Walks Out On Sick Wife In Hospital After He Is Told She Would Not Be Able To Have Kids..

A man walked out on his wife in the hospital immediately after she was diagnosed with cancer and told she wouldn't be able to have biological children.



The 33-year-old husband made the shocking admission on Reddit's “Am I the A--hole” forum this week under the username fassaaai. He said he was on a business trip when his wife took herself to the hospital after enduring "searing pelvic pain.”


The Redditor said he cut his business trip short to join his wife in the hospital and once he got there the doctor said the ultrasound and CT scan showed she had ovarian cancer.


“My wife starts sobbing but at first I stay still because I don’t even know what to make of it,” the man wrote.

Then the doctor explained she would need a total hysterectomy.

“That news jolted me from my chair,” the man wrote. “Because the doctor was effectively telling me that she wouldn’t be able to have kids after this, and after years of work, I thought we’d finally have a family.”


The man wrote that he became angry not just because of the cancer, but also because, “I had begged her to have kids since we were 26, but she refused for her career."


“And now instead of becoming a real family, I didn’t even know if she would remain the woman I married, whether the last picture of us together would be [the] last time I’d remember her looking beautiful, young, and carefree,” he continued. “Because the wife I [saw] in front of me was already a different person.”


At that moment, the Redditor said his wife told him they would “fight this” and adopt children instead.

“But I shook my head and turned to walk out the door,” he confessed. “I still had my suitcase in the car so I drove to a hotel because I didn’t know if my wife was going to end up being discharged or what. At the hotel I was at least able to get out of reactive mode, but I was still so disappointed that our dream of a family was over.”

At the hotel, he said his mother-in-law called and told him to "just stay there." It was unclear from the post whether the man has seen his wife since her diagnosis or if they're even still together.


In his Reddit post, the man defended himself, saying that even though he acted impulsively, the diagnosis “just sliced my life and my wife’s life wide open.”

“I wasn’t going to expel the cancer if I stayed that night but I did at least make myself aware of my situation,” he said. “And I feel I have a right to be angry that my hope of biological kids, the only kind I ever wanted, is rapidly fading away.
from foxnews..

52 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. All these yeye stories sef. They ought to be able to retrieve her eggs before taking the womb out and cancer treatment. Then they do surrogacy,will still be biologically their child.
      And if dey have no eggs, dey get a donor and still use the mans sperm.
      Finito

      Delete
  2. Before you judge this man reason with him from his own point of view “I have begged her to have kids since we were 26 but she refused for her career” while it’s okay she chased her dreams but I think it cost her a bit more she can adopt if she wants but me I don’t think I can judge this man for too long despite the fact that he was insensitive and quite an a**hole.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wanted to scroll fast to bash the man till my instinct told be to go back and read again.
      I guess the man was just showing initial anger which is quite understandable. I feel for him though
      This life sure doesn't have guarantees

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    2. Same here... his actions are quite understandable, but they are a couple and so forgiveness should be the order of the day and he should be quite emotional to his wife, inorder not to cause her more trauma that can kill her moral and even cause hypertension...

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  3. I understand his reaction. It's grief and there are stages of it. It's how women with endometriosis feel when they're told about donor eggs being their best chance, or men being told about azoospermia. He'll be fine, wifey too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. He has been angry with her before then. The situation only escalated his hidden anger. They won't be back together.
    Well, people need to know marriage is for companionship only and not because of having children. That's just a bonus.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This your reasoning is very shallow. Abeg shit oneside ok. He who wears the shoe knows where it.... Finish am. CHAI!! This life no balance at all

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    2. People marry for different reasons and these were in it for different reasons now the regrets.

      You can still have kids and Chase your dreams. It is quite unfortunate things turned out this way. This life no balance.

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    3. Yours is actually the shallow one, Jericho. You should read again. He was angry with her because she refused to have kids on time. So his anger is justified and the anger has been there for long. based on that reason alone I figured he won't want to get back with her. If the situation was different he may accept adoption but he feels she wasted so much time already so he just can't feel empathy for her. Do you understand I wasn't blaming him just saying she made him angry for long so there is nothing he can do?

      I still insist marriage is for companionship and not for having kids. So you shift to one side instead.

      Delete
  5. Everyday tori na. Same goes for women in Nigerian prisons that their hubby's simply abandon. I know two ladies- one the hubby filed for divorce when she was raped by armed Robbers and the other was also divorced after she had an accident that left her with burns on her face .
    Na naija women dey support man any how him dey and not the other way round

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  6. No compromise from both parties.... Unfortunately.

    ReplyDelete
  7. It would be easy for me to say he was selfish walking out on her when she needed him most but I also see his dream of having his biological kids with his wife going down the drain considering she postponed having kids for the career. People react in different ways. Disappointment, anger and pain can make us react in ways we least expect. If he has a change of mind, l hope his wife will still be welcoming. Too bad.

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  8. Lilly livered man ,it shows that he didn't really loved his wife,he just liked her for the sake of liking sake and that's the mistake a lot of people are doing,likiing instead of loving, he doesn't even feel his wife's agony ,nor cares if she will survive the treatment all he cares for is wanting to have children ,hmmmmm typical sub Saharan mentality

    ReplyDelete
  9. Coincidentally I'm seeing a movie on Netflix titled Diamond in the sky , and I think its a movie on cervical cancer awareness .
    So Teni was diagnosed with cervical cancer , the doctor who happens to be her boyfriend's cousin told him to end the relationship as it was now useless giving the fact that she might be unable to bear children. Well her boyfriend held on, it happened to be that she had no cancer .
    But in reality This is why i always say that it is good to marry for companionship, child(ren) is just an additional blessing from God , besides these days there are other options but yeah a lot of people are traditional and while others are closed minded
    Unconditional love is a blessing, life has made me realise this , taking that marriage vow ' for better for worse ' should be an action verb ? Life throws us so much challenges but majority of the times love from spouse and family makes us persevere.
    My dad for instance would always say how my mom's love and sacrifices gives him the zeal to live , well we the children are just an additional blessing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wisdom @chocolat
      Thank you for your comment

      Delete
    2. Marriage is for companionship but most marry for children. A yoruba proverb even says..children is the sweetness of a marriage'. Well to each his/her own.

      Delete
    3. @ Choc, I understand your perspective. However, people should be careful how they jump into marriage. Marry someone who shares the same beliefs, values and principles with you. Put your cards on the table abnitio so there is no misconception, make sure you guys are on the same page.

      The reality is not every woman or man wants children but I think It will be unfair dragging another into such an arrangement without giving them the option to choose. What If he loves and wants children? Quite selfish. Sometimes we want to eat our cake and still have It.

      Delete
    4. Exactly at Ms a. Please everyone should read and evaluate this comment. If both of you are not on the same page concerning major issues, evn minor ones will destroy the union. I know a man who loved kids got married and his wife went to pursue a course abroad only for her to return and insist on having just a kid bcs of career, ds man objected which eventually led to the death of the union. As I speak, lady is doing well in the embassy, man is remarried with a set of twin n 2 more kids. U see this life, let birds of the same feather flock, e de sweet like that. No use ur own idea, tie or scatter another person own. Drops mic

      Delete
    5. Exactly at Ms a. Please everyone should read and evaluate this comment. If both of you are not on the same page concerning major issues, evn minor ones will destroy the union. I know a man who loved kids got married and his wife went to pursue a course abroad only for her to return and insist on having just a kid bcs of career, ds man objected which eventually led to the death of the union. As I speak, lady is doing well in the embassy, man is remarried with a set of twin n 2 more kids. U see this life, let birds of the same feather flock, e de sweet like that. No use ur own idea, tie or scatter another person own. Drops mic

      Delete
    6. Another one is my neighbor who had 2 kids but his wife wanted more, he insisted no more n even denies her sex when ovulating only for side hen to Carry belle less than 4/5yrs after the last n 2nd child of wife. People think am, no use ur sansan spoil another person garri biko. The wife curses him n his babe daily till the man left ds world.

      Delete
    7. Thanks Abrodian, put your card on the table before dragging another person into a journey they don't want and not ready for.

      Delete
    8. 18:24 but it is easier said than done. You know why? Because a lot of people lie just to get what they want, they commit fraud just to get that man or women who isn't for them. Not everybody is for you but lai lai they must pretend to make that man marry them or that woman be their wife.

      Even if you tell some people you don't want children they will pretend to accept and think you would change your mind later. Then they see you refuse to change your mind afterwards and the marriage collapses. People ruin their marriages before it even starts, pretending to accept what they know in their mind they hope to change later on which will never change. A lot of marriages will still spoil in the future as long as people aren't honest with whoever they are dating.

      Most people are the cause of their problems except the ones who later change in the course of marriage without prior agenda.

      Delete
    9. Chocolát and Jide, you are 100% 👌

      Delete
  10. Yes dude has a right to be angry..Sad that his wife had cancer but it is what it is...he wants his own biological kids and upset that his wife isn't going to give him that after waiting for her to pursue her career.
    This same case happened to someone I know very well...he was 37 when he met his wife (26), both were doing very well...he wanted kids, wife wanted time to pursue her career in Tech...44,he was still waiting for a wife who was busy attending board meetings et al..
    One thing led to another, dude met an older woman (48) never been married and no child of her own and started a once off relationship/fling which ended in both having sex.
    His wife found out, and while they were trying to patch things up, dude found out that his fling was pregnant with his child.
    He left his wifebto marry this woman...they both have two kids now.
    Ex wife is a senior director at a Tech Company inSan Fransisco, still unmarried.
    My point is everyone has a right to pursue their needs....if our needs don't align, then no point in being together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doesn't justify his cheating on her.

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    2. He is entitled to his feelings. I don't blame him

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  11. His timing was utterly wrong and he was completely selfish. At that moment of learning that his wife had a life threatening illness his only thought should have been for her survival. That his first thought was about his needs while she laid on a hospital bed says a lot. Who cares about children when your wife could lose her life. Get angry later down the road, but in that moment be there to support her so she gets through this tough period of her life.

    Yes, unequivocally you are an asshole

    ReplyDelete
  12. Goes to show that women still remain the biggest losers. If it were the other way round, the wife would never abandon him. She'll look for other alternatives like adoption without thinking twice.

    Some people will justify the man's actions because wife postponed having kids for career but that doesn't make his actions right. Many women lose out career wise or don't move as fast as some men because of kids. Most ladies who do very well career wise after kids have a huge support system i.e. wealthy husband or family.

    Sadly, in Nigeria, the average Nigerian man would do what this man did. Love flies out the window for most Nigerian men when things like this happen. Some women are either abandoned or have to deal with a cheating husband when they have fertility issues. A low percentage of Nigerian men stay faithful to their wives dealing with fertility issues. Sad.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Marriage should be for companionship but in the present world we live in, people marry for different reasons and I will not judge them for that. Sad the man reacted the way he did,but like he said : he wants his own biological kids, better they separate and let him find a woman that will give him such, but trust me, he still wont be satisfied...

    ReplyDelete
  14. Very unfair decision but I understand. For him to narrate his story he might cone around. May God give Strength to the sick woman to pull through this .Patriarchy !!if the reverse was the case ,bet the woman won't leave his side for one second.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing like patriarchy here, actually it is the equality we fought for. The woman chose her career when the man would have preferred kids but then table unfortunately turned. And before you say jack, alot of women would only stay if the husband allow them carry pregnancy outside,yes, you just don't know what men permit to keep a home and hide shame.if not, the woman works.my cousin walked away from an infertile man, she has 3 kids with her present husband now. Though the ex hid his infertility for more than ten years while she was everywhere drinking concoctions and attending prayers.he later confessed, permitted her to carry pregnancy outside, she refused walked away and remarried. 3 kids followed. We are Nigerian Ibo. It is not only men that take that decision. We all should have a choice.put your card on the table before dragging another person with you. Most women marry for kids,that why you hear my clock is ticking, which clock do you think they are talking about. It is actually men that marry for companionship and househelp.

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    2. 18:44 Though the ex hid his infertility for more than ten years while she was everywhere drinking concoctions and attending prayers.THAT IS WHAT THE MAN DESERVES.

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    3. The man committed fraud. He hid it from her for good 10 years. She did nothing wrong in my opinion. He is lucky she didn't give him a slap before she walked away. Liars everywhere. If he had opened up from the start she might have waited with him but he made her go through a lot for 10 years thinking she was the problem, right? She had every right to walk away. She was fooled. I do not feel sorry for the man. The situation up there is different. She didn't lie it just happened unplanned and he knew about it instantly, they didn't hide it from him only to tell him 10 years later like your cousin wicked husband.

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    4. 18:44 what are you saying? how can you compare both situations? this guy was totally dubios and wasted her time lying..if it was the woman who found out her husband had cancer her first reaction would not be to leave. yes she delayed cos of career you think anyone plans sickness? she married young so she could gamble with waiting.alot more women make sacrifices to stay in a marriage than men.

      Delete
  15. They can actually harvest her eggs and freeze it.Then use a Surrogate mother, except if their religion is in the way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Harvest what? Is it OKRO that you harvest?
      It's always easy to come here and talk jargon....You,have you harvested your own eggs?
      HARVESTER KO...SORROGATE NI.

      Delete
    2. @ Rockforce; you are actually quite ignorant..
      That is a doable procedure..
      What the hell are you fuming for??

      Delete
    3. Your ignorance is totally on steroids, please read up and stop constituting a nuisance to the cyberspace. Okro brain.

      Delete
    4. While you're pursuing your career,make sure you use your papa money or your career money for surrogacy.
      You lots think it's about being book smart or following trends.
      Was that how you were born?...
      Did your mama freeze her eggs before she had you or went through sorrogacy?
      Wait, when you have tried IVF countless times and spend so much looking for surrogate and dealing with the psychological implications of it, you go know say reality hit you.
      Sorrogate my ass....you think NIGERIA is America.
      Bloody twerts.

      Delete
    5. She didn't want kids but her career, imagine how long he had wanted kids and she kept saying no, not now, since when they were 26. The man has every right to his anger, some people will still call him ”scum” if he leaves. Marriage is not about one person being selfish. Like a bv said they could harvest her eggs and try surrogacy but is it the same thing? 🦋

      Delete
  16. people who are getting married should be on the same page....
    though i find the man's initial reaction uncomfortable....
    truth is...he thinks his desire for biological children has been sabotaged....
    i hope he gets over this..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most People getting married can never be on the same page. Someone would definitely lie. Selfish people are too much. That is why there are a lot of divorces.

      A guy wanted us to get married I told him I wanted just two and he wanted four. He later claimed he has accepted. I just laugh because I knew he wanted to trap me in marriage and change it for me later. And trust me to divorce him later too because I meant every word I said. I just broke it off because I saw through him and I would eventually do that if he tries to force me. I will divorce him straight after all i told him my mind from the start. I later met someone who wanted same and we are good. It's not a must that you marry someone you want that don't fit into your life and desires when you can marry someone you need who is on the same page as you.

      Delete
  17. Sad, when I saw the headline I felt the husband was entirely insensitive.read the story and saw where he was coming from , however I hope they come around and work things out!!!

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  18. Well, the woman's priority now, should be how to live. The man can determine whatever way he wants to have children, that for now, is so secondary. It is she who has life, that has hope to do things in life, including birthing and raising children.

    Only parental love is unconditional.

    ReplyDelete

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