Na wah oooh...........
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BROKEN ENGAGEMENT AND ABORTION TRAUMA
Hi Ma'am!
Thanks for this platform.
I'm even tired of typing how everything unfolded...
Hi Ma'am!
Thanks for this platform.
I'm shattered at this point in my life as I write to you I've made grave mistakes that is hurting me every moment of the day I can't think straight, I've disappointed my mom and brothers.
I'm just 24, I was supposed to get married to someone this December ,my mom warned me about the man but I didn't listen and one thing led to another and I took in and during this period I met with two other persons though I was convinced he Impregnated me.
I became confused and I explained to my mother and she warned me again not to say anything though she was disappointed and had wanted me to terminate it because it's still blood, I kept mute about it . I also informed him about the pregnancy ,at first he was shocked the expression on his face also made me to tell him if he is not okay with the pregnancy I should terminate it because it's only 2 weeks he said I should keep it...
Anytime I go to visit him before any comment he's always talking about DNA though at this period I hadn't disclosed anything to him yet I only discovered I was pregnant when I missed my period and ran a test to confirm my status .....immediately I went to inform him he doubted it we even had to run another test and carry out a scan too the lady in the lab was shocked because he wanted her to repeat the test.
He was even asking me which one of our intercourse led to the pregnancy ,I wanted to cry. When i found out I was pregnant really i was happy about it because I also wanted it ,I even bought medication to help the child grow well.
Anytime we meet he kept repeating the DNA test I broke down one of those days I didn't know when I told him I also met with another person his countenance changed immediately towards me and I cried my life out and confirmed to him he's the one who Impregnated me.
I went back to inform my mom she followed me to plead with him but from that day he began to relate to me differently telling me how his joy dropped when I told him I also met another person...
if I visit him he looks at me with disgust me...
I went to visit him one Saturday he didn't even give me much attention he was just telling me that after this pregnancy every other following pregnancy DNA must be conducted that there would be no trust again at all ,I became confused then I informed him I wanted to be free and I want to go and terminate it ..
Oga didn't even answer, I left he didn't even call and I made a decision to terminate it!
I cried all the while. A day after I called him and he said it's over.
I'm even tired of typing how everything unfolded...
Pls I need great help on how to get my mind back! The trauma of terminating the pregnancy is killing me, i don't sleep I need help pls.... thank you ma!
wait wait wait...
wait wait wait...
you slept with three men and got pregnant and then you confessed it to the man you are about to marry?And he broke off the engagement and you took out the baby?
This is a mess and I pray you really heal from this.
ReplyDeletePlease as much as you may not want to hear this, your healing will only commence when you acknowledge your mistakes, genuinely confess them to God and as k for forgiveness.
Take each day at a time and hopefully the pain will gradually recede and you can look back and be free from the ache and guilt.
Wishing you peace
🤣🤣🤣🤣 how missed this your slap stella! Slap the other cheek again cos she needs it.
DeleteThis story sounds like some movie script or drama taken too far.😂🤣😹
DeleteBet it happens oo
DeleteThis is a deep mess🙂but you can turn your life around if you want to,you are just 24,make right decisions from NOW ON,hopefully u let the pain go quickly!
DeleteThe writer is just a nuisance that wanted to give pregnancy to highest bidder but bros get sense and wants DNA so she went to abort it. The guy dodged a bullet and I'm happy for him. Next time writer hope you will use protection
DeleteThe fact that she could mention it to her mum sef. I'm suspecting her mum. She fit be alumini
DeleteOn Sunday, I'll put an extra offering to God so I wouldn't meet a girl like you for a wife !
DeletePoster so you want to kill yourself because of a man?
DeleteCan you see why it is mostly advised that you keep your legs closed?
Ashawo woman three different sperm on the innocent unborn child head.
DeleteWhy will u be banging different men without protection? Now the paternity of the child is in question. If I was ur guy, I wont marry u...I would do a DNA test if d kid is mine, I care for it but wont marry u, if it's not u go n look for the father. Simple.
ReplyDeleteWhy would she be sleeping around when she has someone she wants to marry?.. protection or not?
Delete@24 you have sex mate all over that you are doing skin to skin with? Nne se you, see HIV. You didn't mention what you do for a living. You sound like a. Empty, shallow slay queen with nothing than your body to offer.
DeleteNow that you are rid of the pregnancy, go celibate and restructure your life and build independecy both psychological, financial and emotional. If only you were independent and a man does not want a baby you want, you keep you thing now! That's why I hardly advice ladies to marry b4 age 30 because you need stability and not seek that one man should favour you with marriage. Build a career, grow it and earn a few promotions b4 marriage or grow a business to the point of stability and flourish b4 singing marriage.
I aborted 2012 and I still think about the baby. He/she would have been 8 years old now. I didn't want to abort the pregnancy, in fact, I never knew I was capable of shedding blood not to mention the blood of my first child.
DeleteIt took me years to forgive myself but I still think about it and wish I could erase that part of my history. This is a secret that nobody knows except me, my ex and God. I know God has forgiven me.
The pregnancy wasn't by choice, I was in 200 level and just 18 years old. He was my first boyfriend and serving in a different state. It was a long distance relationship. I wanted a long distance relationship so I could concentrate in school. Then one day he travelled to come and see me. I insisted he stayed in a hotel but he refused. That he can't lodge when I'm leaving in a self contain apartment. I trusted him and allowed him to stay that night but he raped me instead. The next morning he asked me to take postinor 2, I did but my system did not accept it and I threw up. I did not know I was supposed to retake the drug. He travelled back that morning and I lost my virginity.
I was still trying to come to terms with that when I missed my period and a test confirmed I was pregnant. I was scared of my family and sad for disappointing them but I was ready to keep the pregnancy if he would support me.
Unfortunately, oga insisted I remove the pregnancy. He even used my family to blackmail me, telling me how disappointed my mum would be in me.
Well, I had to abort the pregnancy. I did D & C but test still showed I was pregnant. It was a very painful procedure and I thought I would die. After the D & C, few days later the doctor gave me a drug to insert in my vaginal and my mouth. I don't know if the D and C was not successful but that one was painless and I bled for some few days and that was it.
I hated my ex after that and broke up with him. It took me over 3 years to forgive him. I have forgiven him but I have not forgotten.
This secret has been with me for 8 years and this is the first time I'm letting it out even though it's on a faceless blog. So I understand how the poster of yesterday is feeling. The pain and guilt is something beyond comprehension.
I never enjoyed sex after that encounter for many years, it was felt as though I was being raped. I always felt tense during sex so I avoided it. I'm getting married in a couple of weeks and I sometimes wish I could tell my fiancé but I know this is a secret I would take to the grave. We never discussed about my sex life and I hope we don't. He knows I'm not a promiscuous lady but a well behaved lady from a decent home. Maybe that's why he never asked. But if eventually he does, I intend telling him I lost my virginity out of curiosity and end the conversation there. Telling him about the rape would lead to more questions which might make me open up about the abortion too.
I'm free from the guilt now, I have forgiven myself but I have not forgotten. Life has been fair to me and God has been very faithful to me. I graduated from the university with a good grade, got a job few months after service and I'm doing very well in my profession. Also, I'm about to walk down the aisle with a God fearing, loving and caring man.
So Poster, take it a day at a time, ask God to forgive you, try to forgive yourself and accept your mistakes. I know I should never have accepted for him to stay the night, that was the greatest mistake I did. You should not be having unprotected sex at your age, you should learn to close your legs. I was shocked when I read you slept with 3 men within a short frame of time and you feel your fiance is the father because your mind told you so?
Please, forgive yourself and stop being promiscuous. Respect your body, do not make it a play ground for every Tom, Dick and Harry.
May you find peace. Amen.
Poster,try and move on..
ReplyDeleteYou can hardly see a girl your age that has not done abortion before except virgins...
It's not a big deal biko...
This one no follow for chronicles nah...
Where did you obtain the data to support this your comment?
DeleteHow did you arrive at this conclusion using "hardly"?
DeleteHaving an abortion is not a big deal?/Are you okay? Madam Queen what did you take this afternoon? Is that what you will tell your daughter or nieces? Common now. Be real. Of course most of your advices are wack and not real.
DeleteWhat you have invariably told her and any young person reading this is that it is okay for her to sleep with 3 men at the same time knowing fully well she has a man who has come for her hand in marriage. And that it is also okay for her to have an abortion done. Any serious thinking person knows you are only playing with words.
Would it have been wrong for her to be celibate? If people say close your legs, people like you will start insulting and saying you have to test bullshit. She alone knows the guilt she is having and you dare to downplay it? Of course you have no fear of God otherwise you won't put up what you wrote up there.
Anyone who takes the advice of our dear queen, does so at his/her own risk. Haba! And you are a mother? Wow!
And it is not true that one can see girls who have not done abortion at her age.
DeleteHow did you arrive at that statistics?
Your advice seems to be geared towards leading young girls into more sin and deep shit.
Speak for yourself ma..
DeleteHow derpraved our generation is that abortion is not a big deal now..
Fornication is a sin
Abortion is a sin
Pretty big deals and that's what put her into this mess!
Oh Queen😩
DeleteWhat else do you want the poster to do?..
DeleteMake she commit suicide?..
The deed has been done..
And yes,most 24 years of this generation have done abortion..
Taking postinor 2 or something else to remove unwanted pregnancy is abortion too..
Abeg ooo,you guys should stop judging her..
We are all sinners..
Hey Lady T
How are you?
Poster,stop feeling bad biko,you are not the first and wont be the last to make mistake..
DeleteThat nigga is not yours..
Trust me,a better person is coming
Aunty, speak for yourself. I have never aborted in my life and never would. Not all of us engage in casual or random sex,biko.
DeleteMadam Queen, I'm very fine and my head is very correct. I didn't judge her at all. She has made mistakes that have cost her peace until she makes it right with God and stops being careless.
DeleteWhen a person does wrong he/she should be told so that those errors are not repeated. That is not judging. It is being honest and straight. Unfortunately, the end time is here. What use to be wrong, us now right what use to be right is now wrong.
The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
Lady T, I take it, you are new on this blog. Queen and Boss wasn't active almost all of 2019 so if you got here b4 2018 you would have ignored her comment. Those days, she would have told the poster which juju or ritual or pigeons she will"knack" on they guys head.
DeleteYou people arguing with Linda are JJCs, her advice won't surprise old BVs
Delete*Larry was here*
@Sapphire, I had a good laugh. Thanks. I've been here longer than that.
DeleteI replied in case anyone is tempted to take her advice or take her seriously.
Queen and boss pls be careful of the advice you give here, you might think you are faceless but you are not. I know of a woman who took your advice and cheated back on her husband and today the marriage is broken. This was years back and She still says LINDA EZE IT WILL NEVER BE WELL WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU ARE. Granted that she's an adult and you didnt force her to take your advice but Heaven takes record of the part you played.
DeleteIs like you guyz don’t know her
DeleteWhenever you see her comment just wake pass
Queen I thought you gave your life to Christ recently 🌛🌛
DeleteHardly see wetin? Dunno who you mix with o. I've always told myself if I get pregnant by consensual sex I'm not aborting biko so it stops me from engaging in sex with just anybody. Apart from the emotional n soul ties. Naija babes i doff hat 4 u. Always claiming to be more moral than the oyinbo yet abortion n fornication n diq appointment are now normal for you. Because of ur desperation, low self esteem n pick me mentality men just feel entitled and like every lady is loose
DeleteYou didn't take your mother's advice but want to take strangers? You obviously do what you want.
ReplyDeleteClose your legs, you go say no. Sleeping with three men same period,without protection.If you are not afraid of anything, you should be afraid of STI and STDS. Please, next time say NO to unprotected sex.
ReplyDeletePoster you no try at all.
DeleteBefore she confessed the man was already suspected sef she only confirmed his suspicion due to how he was emotionally frustrating her with the DNA talk.
ReplyDeleteShe probably suspected he already knew hence she confessed. She did not confess out of her own freewill stella or because she was nice. His reaction and calculation of the date they had sex gave her away. He knew something wasn't right and his talk about the DNA was his own way of making her open up.
I will ask you the same question we ask men. why did you cheat with two others guys when your wedding was already in the works did they force you to marry him? Or what. You ruined your engagement with your hands and wanted to pin a child on an innocent man. He was smart to figure you out.
Ceaser will come for you tommorow
I swear. I dont even understand. Your ex should better do Thanksgiving cos God just saved him big time. Kilode?
DeleteSo true....why did you cheat on tour fiancee with 2 men. Seems like a really crazy thing to do. He would gave been crazy to marry you after that. Forget men and go for counselling. There is something wrong with you.
DeleteAnd if he married her,she will still cheat.It is good he got rid of her.
DeleteLmao @caesar will come for you tomorrow
DeleteHer tohtoh was scratching her ni
DeleteI think he knew already jere. He was waiting to hear from her mouth. Maybe he had monitored her or gone thru her phone when she wasn't around
DeleteAt 24, you are not mentally ripe for marriage biko.
DeleteJust negodi....
You need Jesus
Dumbstruck! 😳🤐
ReplyDeleteYou are very dull. Close your legs and stop meeting men up and down
ReplyDeleteI actually cackled while struggling to read this. Madam close your legs. Go back to school. You need education not marriage
ReplyDeleteMy dear,first of all you need to ask God for forgiveness, second, do not go back to formication, not even to one man.thirdly, you didn't say if you are buzy like a job or business, just get your self busy,find yourself and improve on your self.listen to your mum, then lastly keep the baby,find out who owns the baby through DNA but you must care for that child alwy
ReplyDeleteDid we read the same chronicle, she say she don comot the pregnancy
DeleteSMH.......your mum even followed you?wonderful.
ReplyDeleteAt age 24 you are not really that much of a child, I'm sorry bt you are not acting like a responsible adult! You are just so messed up.
ReplyDeleteForget about this guy for real. Turn another page and live your life with more sense.
How can you have someone who already proposed to marry you and you still went to sleep with TWO OTHER GUYS?
Ok how can you go casting yourself like this? So you thought after telling him you slept with another guy he will have pity on you and marry you when he was already looking for a way to do away with you.. use your head and dont let stupid emotions & feelings ruin your life.
Only you 3 in 1
ReplyDeleteMy dear put yourself together.
Ask GOD for forgiveness
Life goes on and be wise next time.
Dear poster, prepare to be a single mother. He won’t marry you, and will only take responsibility of the baby after DNA test confirm he is the father..
ReplyDeleteWch baby again?
DeleteYou are still living in dream land. You don't want to accept your fault. What did you mean by, your mother warned you about the man but you did not listen? It is the man that should be saying something like that and not you. Who spoilt the upcoming wedding? All the wasted money and plans? The shame the guy's family would face for a cancelled wedding who brought it upon them? Is it not you? Your wedding is 2 months time but you fucked it up but all you could say is your mother warned you to avoid the man? Are you not the one to be avoided. What kind of a blameshifting entitled person are you?
ReplyDeleteAccept your fault first then you will heal.
Asin ehn,I no even understand. The man should be the one dancing in the church everyday in thanks to God. Haaa
DeleteHe really dodged a bullet...she needs to go on a journey of self discovery
Deletehmmm...This chronicles made me remember the Statistics about Nigerian men and their first sons.
ReplyDeleteThis girl mumu sha
ReplyDeletePrivk sweet u o
ReplyDeleteYou slept with 3 different men and you want accept the pregnancy. Nne that will be very difficult and his change in attitude is expected. Dust your shoes and move on with your life but learn from this experience
ReplyDeleteYou are not ready for marriage. Secondly, no matter how close you to your partner, there are certain things you must take to the grave with you.
ReplyDeleteFinally, pray to God to forgive you. Avoid sexual relationship.for now. Get your confidence back
You made a lot of mistakes, no need berating you too much, the mistakes has been made. Please henceforth stop sleeping around, how can you be about to marry and still be sleeping with different guys.
ReplyDeleteYour moral compass needs an overhaul going forward.
I cannot be in this kind of mess cos its what it is, a messed up situation, ( I am no saintooo) but let's assume I find myself at that exact spot, with someone that's about marrying me and I fall pregnant not knowing which man knocked me up, you should have quietly aborted the baby or feign a miscarriage with abortion tablet. Theres no way that man can marry you after your confession, knowing he was sharing you with 2 other guys.
No matter how bad a man is, he still wants a girl who in his eyes is an innocent faithful girl. That's why no matter the confession from him about his body count, yours as a babe no suppose pass the guy that disvirguned you if you are no longer a virgin.
What were u thinking confessing to him, you think he will believe you, as you told him 2 in his mind he sees a truckload of men and a very loose girl.
You messed this one up but become wiser next time, DNA rest is here to stay and that guy doesnt trust you btw, for him to be hammering on DNA like that. Cry but learn from it, you will be ok finally. E-hugs
Honestly, this girl is not even ready for marriage, beg God to forgive you, disease why tmdeybtown bereketeooo, some incurable.
DeleteChange your ways because like this I side marriage, you will give your husband kids from other men. As is said up there, men now quietly run DNA tests on their kids.
Refocus and change please. Take your time on this one now, the pain will ease with time.
Great advice. Poster, Deed has been done. Move on. Please stop sleeping around.its not in vogue. I mean, what will you teach your kids???
DeletePoster, you just made me angry this hot afternoon...how many times have bvs advices here never to talk anyhow'na ur mouth put you for this commotion so!OWN YOUR SHIT N MOVE
ReplyDeleteAre you normal,am just asking,you told a man another person fuck you and you expect him to say well-done girl?ok repent and give your life to Christ before it is too late
ReplyDelete3 men and no protection whatsoever? Even if you love your partner but fear STIs. Some are incurable!
ReplyDeleteYou have made mistakes. Please take responsibility for how you got to this point that screams Messy. Move ahead. It may be hard but be determined never to repeat all of these mistakes again.
Close your legs and focus on yourself and overall health for now. Goodluck.
You deserve another slap...
ReplyDeleteLike what the fuck!!!.Abeg move on, dont even think of marrying that guy sef,cos the relationship don spoil
Please when next you are sending chronicle write boldy NOT URGENT, so that we can handle the ones that matter first, this your own no belong at all, supposed to be shifted to the end of the year 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteBabe... Na wah... The Lord is your strength
ReplyDeleteMy dear you are really a confused child.just look at all the wahala you put on yourself.ehm,I told my mother,I told him,I cried,I confessed,I aborted,only you o.when someone tries to advise young people like you,na insult dey follow,na e don happen which advise you dey find again.Mooooove on
ReplyDeleteYou did not "meet" with 2 other men...you SLEPT with 2 other men! All whilst engaged, to be married! SMH!!
ReplyDeletePersonal accountability seems to be something you lack.
Babe... Na wah... The Lord is your strength
ReplyDeleteYes at two weeks, he is "still blood," but this blood is different. He is "innocent blood" and that is why you are dying of guit.
ReplyDeleteDear, you should not die. Someone has died for you. He is Jesus. What should concern you now is how to make peace with him, believe in him
and his atoning death for you so that you will enjoy the peace that he gives. Forget all those men you were sleeping with. You were just a
sex toy to all of them including the one you called fiance. The only true love you have is Jesus and he alone will give you fulfilment in every
area of your life.
Na wa for u sha.... One man no do? why multiple partner without using protection? abi this na devil work too? The man acted just how a normal man would react.... Everything u did were on the wrong side including not listening to your mom, trying to convince him that he baby is his... My dear, I think its time for u to have sence and move on. Talk to God, and focus on your life.
ReplyDeleteYou have already made a mistake, just thank your stars you took out the pregnancy cos you weren't even sure who the father is. I personally think you should try to get a job or do business, put your mind away from the mess you created, move on with your life cos na you fuck up.
ReplyDeleteShe suppose get job or business for her to gather money go do abortion, the guy no even gv her shishi, that is to say, he wash hand off your matter patapata
DeletePositer pls do HIV test and herpes and whatever then run to Jesus and let dick be
ReplyDeleteYou are still a baby as far as I'm concerned, u are not ready for marriage at all, grow up girl and find something to do with your life either sch or just get busy and stop allowing guys take advantage of u with small change.love with ur brain not ur heart u hear. God be with u.
ReplyDeleteYou were engaged and still "meeting" other men, What is wrong with you for chip sakes. And you had the audacity to confess to your man, Waawwwu.
ReplyDeleteAnyways its not the end of the world, you cry, and learn from your mistakes, and pls be faithful in your next relationship, especially when you are close to the altar, stop banging men without a protection, except you don't like your life . You will be fine.
This is a very annoying chronicle.. haba.. that guy just dodged a bullet..
ReplyDeleteThe man was already suspecting U before that’s why he kept insisting on a dna test,if he trusted u he won’t even think of a DNA test.secondly u have to stop sleeping around wether u have a fiancé or ur single u shouldn’t keep multiple sexual partners haba!!! U no Dey fear for ur life ??? U have done an abortion already ask God for forgiveness and guidance.move on and use ur brain from henceforth.if a man did this to a lady here we would have almost killed him by now with insult and curses.i believe u should learn from ur mistakes.
ReplyDeleteHow did you open your mouth to tell your mum you slept with 3 men? Didn't you feel somehow when you were saying it? I can't even tell my mum about having sex with one man,talk more of 3. Na wetin catch my attention for the chronicle be that.
ReplyDeleteSome mothers hold their daughter's hand to go for abortion.Some pressure their daughters to sleep with a man to hook the man.No be Rita Daniels give her daughter out as 6th wife?? If you have a God-fearing and morally upright mother,It is a huge blessing.
DeleteI thought the same and to be honest, unsavory thoughts filled my mind about her mother.
DeleteHer mother even followed her to beg the guy. Shame for no let my mama show face for where the guy dey. The kind of talk she would have given me at home would be worse than insult
Idiot judging....cos na every rubbish wey you do your mama teach you abi? Leave her mother out of it. She might have been doing everything possible to remove shame from3 her daughter and herself. You4 child messes up then you kill her abi? You don’t know their story so leave her mumout of it
DeleteNext time, close your legs and close your mouth too. You'll be fine by God's grace
ReplyDeleteI will echo the thoughts of some other BVs
ReplyDelete1. You are not ready for marriage. Not at all. It’s a good thing that guy didn’t marry you because you were very irresponsible and your leg no dey one place.
2. What has happened has happened.
You are not a child anymore at 24 years. Cervical cancer is very real and one of the worst things a woman can deal with, worse than HIV. Syphillis is real. Gonorrhea and chlamydia are real and they cause infertility.
If you will not close your legs because of God, close it for your own self. From now henceforth, Be more responsible with your sexual choices.
😦😦😦😦😦
ReplyDeleteWHAT IS THIS?!
I thought things like this only happen in movies?
Words still fail me!
Nwa 24 years?! Ogini na eme gi?
My blood pressure just went high reading this. Listen, take time to.......WHAT THE FUCK I'M EVEN TRYING TO SAY TO YOU?
Well, I will do exactly what he did. You're not yet married and pregnant with what might be another man's child, Nne, what will happen when you eventually marry him? All your innocent kids will probably be from different men😳
I jump and pass biko. Not even in my nightmare. Time to go and have a little chat with my daughters. Close your legs because HIV IS REAL. You got lucky that this is pregnancy and not deadly std. Before I conclude, better go and check yourself. The God of that young man is alive!!!
Osetigo ...poster,you see your life.you are soon to be married and still doing kurukere Waka ABI...you deserve what you got ooo.That man not only dogded a bullet,he dogded the entire gun.zuzu pum n'iru Kam negharia anya.onye iberibe.
ReplyDeletePoster try and move on with your life..I hope you have learnt your lesson. Stop keeping multiple sex partner...Focus more on God and your career.
ReplyDeleteIt’s time to start afresh besides your mom never liked him to begin with. Dust your shoulders and move on. I’m sure you’ve done other things you felt you couldn’t move past and eventually you did. This is one of them. Ask God for forgiveness and focus on other profitable things
ReplyDeleteShe needs help 🙄🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteDear poster, you are not yet mature for marriage. From your narrative you are yet to discover yourself and really have an understanding about life and marriage. You are engaged and still sleeping around. Why exactly? You got pregnant and still created controversy by yourself as pertaining the paternity. Do you see you are all over the place? No clarity whatsoever. Take time to heal and then Chanel your energy towards self discovery. I am not talking about all that melancholy or choleric BS. I mean really discover yourself. That way when you meet your husband you will be ready. Ask your baby for forgiveness, ask God and ask yourself. You will be fine
ReplyDelete