ONE SIDED RELATIONSHIP OR WHAT?
My great family help me out, am I overreacting or stressing myself over a man that is not serious with me?.
My great family help me out, am I overreacting or stressing myself over a man that is not serious with me?.
I met this guy during lockdown, with the way people compliment him and how he treated me I decided to give love a chance to see if this time around I could be lucky. When we started dating no issues with calls, text, chat, having long conversation, making jokes, watching movies and discussing important aspects of our career together.
I was enjoying the relationship until he traveled to Lagos three months back to see his parents. I have played my role by assisting him with the little I can but right now I stopped last month and noticed his attitude changed. Since he traveled to Lagos this relationship is just here. No good communication, he hardly calls, chat is like you are begging him to chat with you. If you call him he hardly pick up, if you chat him he will read and will not reply till after some days or he will be answering your chat one by one.
I complained of the lack of communication, no time spent together, no attention, no calls, no care. But each time I complain he takes it as an offence and for days he will not talk to me. He never treated me like that at first but now I am thinking he has replaced me. To think I was without a relationship for two years plus before I gave him a chance.
As it is now I want to unsave his phone numbers, face my front and put my emotions on check. Just fed up with how a person can lead you on, make you fall for them but will in turn stop caring. Someone should tell me if I am over reacting.
He knows I am not seeing anyone else,he knows how I respect and love him. Should I still talk to him one more time before I unsave his number and face my life. Nope he is not married because I have made findings, i have snooped.
*Hmmmmmm,just unsave his numbers,delete all the chats you have had with him,delete all the beautiful memories you have of him in the head,if you slept with him,erase all that thought as well and take a long walk without looking back....
Seems he is not being sincere with you.
ReplyDeleteMy dear poster, you were just his lock down girlfriend. So the earlier you move on the better for you. What is all this about funding him? I don't get?
DeleteNne that you stayed off relationships and dating for 10years does not guarantee the very next guy you meet will not be worse than your exes. The earlier you kick him to the curbs and date the next person, keeping it moving, the better for you. I am telling you from experience. Infact, staying away for so long makes you too needy and too thirsty for attention and affection that you start passing wrong desperate signals which is very unattractive. You become too clingy and suffocating and the guy will just run. You will only smother any man who unfortunately comes to you with your time, your body and your money. Of course he knows you are not dating and have not dated in the past 2years and that makes you even more unattractive. No challenge. Nothing to chase. Your just a bore.
DeleteNo need deleting his number. His number is not your problem. You need to get your groove on. Dress up, go to functions, have fun with friends and be happy. Enjoy your youth. Youth is transient and nothing is more attractive than a girl having her best time and carefree. Meet others. It's a man that will beg you to please go exclusive with him by committing to you. Untill then, keep up a positive energy. If one does not work, move on immediately and stop sulking about one looser that is even taking from you.
Let me perch here abeg. Poster, just stop communicating with him. Whatever happens now, your feelings for him will never be thesame again. Why am I saying this? I had thesame experience. We went as far as discussing marriage, he brought it up and I was ok with it. After almost a year of dating, his communication started going down. I will call, text, ask questions but nothing was coming forth. I gave myself brain and left him alone. After about three months, he started calling but unfortunately for him, I have nothing to chat about. I'm not in any other relationship as I'm too busy at the moment. Last night he called me, ended the chat with 'I love you'. I was wondering if he was talking to somebody else cos he is so gone from my life, I no be dumping ground for heart ache.
DeleteDear, that guy no reach to break your heart, dump him like it's hot and move on. Mumu boys everywhere.
I pray you meet a guy who really deserve you. If I hear say you take am back eh........
Poster, go and carve these words in your SOUL.
DeleteThis wisdom is only from God.
You say you wanna talk one last time? Abi you wanna beg one last time.
One thing I have learnt from relationships that don't work is that once we break up or the guy starts acting like his head has hit the floor.. I just smh for him and pity him cuz he just lost the best thing he could get. His losses are more than mine so I why would I sulk over him? My dear, you are worth beyond a failed relationship. Start seeing your worth and trust me you won't even bother if he starts acting up.
DeleteNever be afraid to be alone Nne. Don't delete his number, just learn to enjoy alone or with friends. Guys would always be guys
P.s not dating for long does not determine the next date would be normal.
You still wanna talk to him? You have talked to him about it, and then he won't talk to you for days. My dear, just leave him. Focus on yourself, and forget about that situationship, because that's not a relationship.
ReplyDeleteI dont understand. Poster, talk to him based on what? Is he a child?. So, let's say by some miracle you get married, you'll be talking every time to someone that should be your partner?. Hian. Wetin he go tell you wey you no know?.
DeleteI th ink some of us are used to being lied to ,that we would rather believe a lie than what we're seeing in front of our noses
You want to know a man that loves you? Make Jesus your Lord, experience the love of God and you will know what love is. He will lead you beside still waters and restore your soul.
ReplyDeleteMove on in peace.
So you will marry Jesus 😏😏? E de niyen.
DeleteMtcheeeeeeeeeeeew 🥴😏
@19:40
DeleteI am married to Jesus, he is the bridegroom of the church. REad Revelation 19 about the marriage supper of the Lamb.
You may not understand that, and I pray that you do. Cheers.
Simply move the heck on...
ReplyDeleteNot everyone is with you because they love you..
ReplyDelete1) Some are with you because you are filling a void in them;the moment they change environment,another person fills it up..
2) Some are with you because of the benefits and what you tend to offer them..
When they don't get those benefits;they disengage and look for someone else who would do those things for them..
3) Some don't know what "True love" is..they see it as a game and can't offer you genuine love;because they can't give what they don't have..
4) Some don't have the courage to break up when distance etc sets in..
They just keep dropping the signs for you and it's left for you to pick the signal and move on..
When you truly love someone;there is never an excuse..
You make out time because it's what your soul needs(communication)..
If he is not communicating with you;he is doing so with someone else..
@MARTINS
👌 Eziokwu ka I kwuru.
DeletePoster please dust your shoes and Johnny Walker
Oil dey your head bro.
DeletePoster Martins has said it all. Read this over and over and screenshot it for future reference.
You've said it all
Delete@ Martins, your wisdom is top notch....
DeletePoster, keep moving..... Yours will come....
This one to read and understand.
DeleteIf you like go and call him, if only you understand that this silly boy now sees you as attractive as a mosquito.
Call o! Boya you can still be his booty call during the second wave abi?
Poster, you were just a LOCKDOWN FLING.
ReplyDeleteARCHIVE THE CHATS and BLOCK his number on WhatsApp and your phone contacts.
Archive the chats for future reference if he lies against you.
However, FORGET the guy❗
Next time, pray, get a clear answer and do fact-finding before you start any relationship or friendship.
You said una met during lockdown, the guy use you pass time lol. Just delete his number and face ur front. Dont look back.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteDude was just having fun while u were catching feelings. When u want something, you will treat that thing right n perfect till u get it n eat it. Forget all the caring, if he treated u shabilly, you for open leg? Daz a guy for u. Mugu fall, guyman chop. Sorry.
A rubbish guy
DeleteUnfortunately the population of idiots is too high
My dear he has ghosted you,so sorry about that! Just delete his contacts and block him everywhere..he apparently changed due to what he can get from you and when it's not forth coming he changed,so he was with you for gains
ReplyDeleteAll the best going forward
You have to move on,no need telling him anything. Both parties have to contribute to make relationship work, where one person is doing the whole job doesn't augur well.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you're not the side-chick to a married man?
ReplyDeleteOr
He's probably not interested in the relationship anymore.
Poster this is a situationship that you need to save your head. The guy was using you to enjoy the lockdown and when he eventually left your location he is enjoying with another babe
ReplyDeleteWalk way from him, face your front, take away the love, care, attention, money and love yourself more.
I know you are finding it hard to walk away but this is the best option. Where a man's treasure is there is his heart.
Did he go back to his family in Lagos or to His wife and kids 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
ReplyDeleteWhich ever way MOVE ON
Please move on. Since you've stopped giving him the little you can afford, he switched to default mode. You will be alright eventually..
ReplyDeletePlease move on, the guy no send you, stop forcing communication... Delete all deleteable and face front, you will be fine...
ReplyDeleteSweet soul @ Stella thank you for posting this, I didn't see it the day I posted it and never knew you kept it for a day like today.
ReplyDeleteYou are the best.
This thing called love will blind you to things you should naturally see i.e why they say love is blind.Similar thing happened to me months back.I wrote a Chronicle about him. I knew he read the Chronicle and replied because I twisted the profession but one comment stated his profession. I didn't want to believe he was the one.I continued, may be the Chronicle spoilt things for me .Two weeks ago,he told about me being the only person to define my personality. He told me I was too secretive that I can kill and hide it.The funniest part, he told me he was in a relationship but if he wasn't I would have been the one.I thought he genuinely wanted me.I rejected his offer severally because I wanted to be sure of who he really is. I think i wasn't gòod enough for him. You know the saying if you want to kill a dog ,give it a bad name.
ReplyDeleteBaby girl, delete his number.If possible remove social media from your phone.Never stalk him.
Finally, try to build yourself academically, financially and spiritually. LOVE IS TRULY BLIND BECAUSE IT BLINDS YOU FROM SEEING THINGS THAT ARE GLARING.
This was my story, he was so into me at first much later, excuses of not calling started setting in but I'm the patient type to no avail.
ReplyDeleteThe worst of all was when he was down I was therefore him, immediately all became well I was the least to know.
I just told myself not my fault for falling in love that by God's grace it will take awhile., love shall find me again. I was left broken. After sometime like a year later I found love again in this arms of a cool rich pharmacist. I the things I was craving for (love, attention, care, respect was shown to me without me making all the efforts.
though he is not rich like ex but certainly not doing bad.
Its clearly written on the wall that he is not into you and might not be. Please take a long walk and move ahead.
ReplyDeleteHe has gone to his family or main babe
ReplyDeletePlease poster moveeeeeeeeeee!!
ReplyDeleteAbeg face your front and leave the guy. I met one like that too about 3 years ago. This one may not even call me for 3 days,i will complain and he will give me story. The day I made up my mind to ignore his silly ass ehn he no believe am. I deleted everything about her m from my phone and faced mymacademics squarely.It was later that his friend called and told me that he was already engaged to be married to his girlfriend but was still leading me on. I just thank God that i didn't mess myself up with him
ReplyDeletePoster your worries are very much valid
ReplyDeleteUn-love him ASAP and face front.
You Prince charming will be with you soon.
But why do guys behave like that, if you know you ain't into a girl again be hold to say it. Stop playing with people's emotion.
ReplyDeleteGirl, you are in a relationship with yourself.
ReplyDeleteI've been in this situation ship and all I can say is, move on. Thank God yours is just a couple of months, mine was for over 2 years before i borrowed myself brain. Better to be single than dating yourself mbok
ReplyDeleteSame thing happened to me last month.he works offshore so we spoke everyday till d day he came out.do u knw after we saw dis idiot stopped picking my calls?I kuku deleted his num n blocked him everywhere.he left his safety boots at my place under d guise dat he'll come for it after he gets back frm his medicals but as am typing, dis fool hasn't called me so am thinking of burning the boots.girl plz move on,d earlier u realise men are wicked d better for you
ReplyDeleteI yout own case, the guy met with you and decided he wasn't into you. But he doesn't know how to say it.
DeleteAct like a widow sis
ReplyDeleteGirl what happened? Were you not what he expected when he came out? Whatever the case, move on swiftly and don't go back.
DeleteLol anon i was what he expectd he called 2days after saying I refused to call him bla bla,he wld be quarantined for a week.den I called a day after to check on him bt he didn't pick n dat was it.i knew those were lies n I didn't wait for anyone to tell me to cut him off.truth be told I think d sex made him disappear bt we move.
DeleteU are dating urself. Shit happens. Dust urself and move on. Good luck dear
ReplyDeletePele. Move on with your life. If your career in anyway has a connection with his own, don't delete his number.
ReplyDeleteDarling, what in your psyche makes you feel it's okay to be disrespected? Why would you want a guy who clearly doesn't want you? Can't you see you have done too much too soon? How can you be in this position within an 8-9 month period? When you inadvertently play the role of the guy by chasing him, he will move on to a more challenging prospect. There might be a lady out there who is not giving him the time of day but he will be jumping through hoops to get her attention. How ironic, no?
ReplyDeleteStop this counterproductive pity party, sweetheart. He made you fall in love with him, you say? Nah, that's on you. Nobody can make you fall in love, it's the way your heart processes the gestures of affection he shows you. Even if he lied to you, it was your choice to believe it. So you haven't dated in 2 years? I fail to see the relevance here. Were you thinking that should endear you more to him? I'm sorry but it doesn't work that way. On the contrary, men tend to sit up if they feel there are other men competing for your attention. Men are competitive in nature. They may not love you but they would still fight to be your number 1. Some even move on to the next the minute they feel they have "conquered" and have you right where they want you.
Never give a man the opportunity to disrespect you twice because twice is one time too many. Please shut this down and salvage what's left of your dignity. If you have to fight this hard for your relationship, what would you do when you get married? I don't get the financial assistance, though. Why were you giving him money? Were you trying to buy his affections? Well... there you go! Darling, please put some respect on yourself and require to be treated with the utmost dignity with zero compromise. Remember, you can't make someone fall in love with you, no matter how hard you try. It will only end in heartbreak.
Goodluck!
e-hugs and kisses.
Emotions and sex clouded your judgment that you can’t see this man used you! You stopped sending money and he withdrew completely. Do not disrespect yourself anymore by calling him. It’s a done deal. Relationship is over. Block and delete him and let it go. HE IS NOT THE ONE.
ReplyDeleteJust like Stella will say.....you are dating yourself.
ReplyDeleteMove on with your life baby girl.no time to check time.
ReplyDeleteOff your heels and run as fast as you can, like this 🏃🏃
ReplyDeleteThat guy seems not to truly love you. If you go on with him, he will emotionally abuse you. No long talk, just cut off from him please if you love yourself. RUN!!!
ReplyDelete"I have played my role by assisting him with the little I can but right now I stopped last month and noticed his attitude changed".. girl you got all the answer you need. But please never try this nonsense again. Play which role? Are you his wife? His Mum? When you play all these miss generosity roles you set yourself up to be used. You want love & commitment so you give money, he wants the money so he gives false hopes..leading to mutual manipulation. It never works out. Only give in marriage or engagement. Haba, he has to prove his worth over and beyond naa before you carry money give am naa. Ignore or block and move on. Next time withhold your money and body.
ReplyDeleteYou know the solution,why do you still as for opinions or do you want him to keep ridiculing you further?
ReplyDelete