Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative - UPDATE.

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Monday, November 30, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative - UPDATE.

Na wah oh!!!







Dear Stella,

 This is meant to be an update but things took another twist. I was the woman who sent in a chronicle around this time last year, asking whether or not to terminate a pregnancy in view of the harsh treatment meted out to me by my husband.


I had the baby. She is 4 months now. She is so beautiful and smiles at me Everytime. I have no regrets having her. However, my marriage turned from bad to worse and then to nothing.


Over the years, I noticed once my husband is angry, he will give a reason for his actions and I will work on it.The next day will be another reason and I will work on it. To the extent that I have perfected every skill and know there was no excuse again .


Though he had kept his distance after all the apologies for not agreeing to abort the pregnancy. He might talk to me today and the next day not answer my greetings.But I have accepted him as someone who is always sad. As for being intimate, it's been a year.


About 3 days ago, we had a misunderstanding and I insisted he tells me what my offence was as it keeps changing from one thing to another. To my amazement,he brought up offences I committed 10 years ago or 7 years ago which I have begged for forgiveness on my knees severally.


To shock you, these are things like :

1. I sat down in the midst of his friends when we went visiting and was arguing politics. And that whenever he wanted to talk, I kept raising my voice. This was something I didn't do intentionally.The argument was hot and I got carried away. I apologized 8 yrs ago and since then have never interfered in their gist and arguments.


2.He said at house fellowship meetings, when I'm asked for my opinion,I should not have an opinion contrary to his.


These are just a few of the things mentioned. These are issues I have apologized for and stopped. When his mother asked him why he keeps bringing back different things from the past, he says he can never forgive me.


How did I get myself in this mess? I kneel and beg everyday for peace to reign. I have 3 children and I have a business I run. I am tired because it never ends. I am 36yrs. Crying is all I do on weekends because he is always at home to torment me.


He also judges me on intent. Things I never said or did but he says he knows me that I can do such, hence, I am bad. I have been broken over and over and over again. I have just started building back my confidence. But this shook me. How can ones spouse say he will never forgive me.


I don't know what to do again. If I could run away I would but my children beg me not to. My daughter says mommy I need you please don't cry. I will make you happy. Please don't leave.


My life has become a sacrifice for their happiness. I just want to know what God is saying about all this? Elders in the house, please do I have hope?


Here is a picture of my new bundle of joy for your eyes only.





*Did you say sacrificed your life for your kids happiness?what about bringing them up in a toxic environment?thats worse oh......

Why dont stop begging him?he has said the worst thing any spouse can say,so stop begging him since its of no use..Maybe you should change your strategy...Your baby is cute but what a sad environment to bring her up in...So you are staying for better for worse?

78 comments:

  1. I will advise you totally blank him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you decide to stay and raise your kids in this kind of environment then be ready for what your children will become. We have heard cases of kids raised in a toxic environment and how their life turned out, some ended up hating their father o4 mother as the case maybe, some had trust issues,some became bullies to mention but a few and guess what? Their parent gave the same reason you are giving now so may God help you

      Delete
    2. My dear, you have begged enough. No more begging. Stop giving him all that unnecessary attention. Put your energy on yourself and your children.

      Delete
    3. My uncle's wife went through this for over 30yrs she kept apologising for offences of 40yrs ago and he enjoyed her agony every step of the way. She kept apologising and he hated her all the more. The more she lost her dignity, her every essence, her sanity, the more he enjoyed every bit of it. He never stopped. Her children grew up and he raised them in total fear of him and they watch him torment and dehumanize her. She developed deep seated depression that manifested in health issues she couldn't express to doctors. Little by little she slipped away and he did not think to stop. Tormenting her was like a drug for him and I wondered why she let this continue for so long and her children couldn't help. She died. B4 she died there was nothing left of her physically or mentally.

      Hmmm...


      Poster, its one of two solutions; 1. You can decide to leave the marriage and deal with another set of issues faced by single mothers, you know them. 2. If you chose to stay, then you have to toughen up. You must learn a particular pattern of behaviour to handle him. The biggest antidote is getting better and better (self improvement) and he might slowly learn to respect you. Go out there and achieve big things and be polite to him. Cut small talks and never be needy of him. Buy him gifts and show him class as you grow.
      I tell you this, he will find another toy.
      My aunt was made to be 100% dependent on him and she needed his validation, support and love. Poster you must be tough.

      But is it worth it? Can you live like this? His appetite for tormenting you is a black hole that sadly, has no bottom.
      Don't forget to pray and stay positive.

      Delete
    4. Poster dem no dey tell man sorry😎! Especially a backward thinking man.

      If he complains of something, pretend you don't know it's bad. Quietly change!

      If you outrightly keep apologising, he'll keep tormenting you till your self worth disappears.

      Stop noticing him. Do the right things and stay happy

      If you are horny, touch yourself. The clitoris has all you need to release some endorphins.

      It is well

      Delete
    5. My father was not this bad. He had his own faults and my mom was always tired and crying. But like your daughter, I begged her to stay. I promised to take care of her and she did stay because of her children. While I kept praying that things will get better for them, they’ll have a better relationship and be happy. I just wanted them to be happy. But it never happened. She left this year after 28 years. The children are grown up now, so I guess she doesn’t have to stay for her children anymore. I think it’s better, if they can both be happy separately, rather than being together and remaining unhappy for the rest of their lives. Their marriage messed me up. Most times I’m scared and commitment because I feel like it will end badly and I’ll get hurt. My own relationships haven’t even been favorable. But I want to believe I’ll be okay because I have learnt a lot. My brothers say they’ll never get married. I hope they’ll meet good people and change their mindset.

      In conclusion, you deserve to be happy. Your children too. Your daughter watching you cry everyday will break her. Don’t be scared to give your children a better environment to grow up in. You really don’t want to mess them up by thinking you’re staying because of them. They may end up blaming themselves as they grow up and things don’t change.

      Only God knows if things will get better and if my parents will come back together. Same thing with you. Just do your best and leave the rest for God. There’s nothing He can not do

      Delete
    6. My husband was brought up in a similar toxic environment. I thought love could change him but it hasn’t. I regret it now. Don’t bring up your children in a toxic environment. Leave and be free for the sake of your children.

      Delete
  2. Sad Chronicle..the way the guy is doing as if you begged him to marry you or as if he settled for you sha.pls n pls if you are not financially independent, start gathering your finances now. Get a job or start a business. This abuse will not stop as long as the man feels you cannot do without him. When you feel you are strong enough to leave then carry your kids and leave. Clearly this man does not love you or cherish you. You are the one married to yourself and putting in all the work. He sees that you are going nowhere so he will act up while you are stepping on egg shells and depleting your own happiness to please a man that will never find pleasure or peace in you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You guyz rush to comment or why?????
      Poster said she have a business

      Delete
  3. Single ladies and about to wed listen up, stop pampering a grown up man and apogizing like mugu upandan, coz it will end in premium tears, if u must apologise, sit down and do it, don't kneel down and make him feel like a God, it never works, ur problem started with apology, it's time u stop and start complaining too,or is he perfect, does he not offend u? his forgiveness is not worth anything in the bank, if u offend him, say iam sorry and lock up. When I married newly, any slightest thing, I will apologise to my husband and mother inlaw, till I got fed up and said to hell with all that, now I have peace of mind, on top the whole apology yet i was still seen as an idiot, but when i locked up, iam now seen as a human being. So pls am sorry mentality all the tym, especially on bended knees will make u become a slave to people around u. Pls poster place some value on yourself and a little bit of self esteem, u will be surprised how things will turn around.

    Sapphire pls when are u sharing that tips u said u will share.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you me? You are so right. Same thing happened to me. Now I don't give a damn. His head don come down now as I no send person message. If he misbehave, na to commot

      Delete
    2. Nne m, I will tidy up and send to Stella tomorrow. I want it brief and straight to the points yet easy to understand and practice.

      Delete
    3. Exactly, stop the freaking pleading and begging. Can he give you life? He is enjoying the torment he is putting you through and the only way you can get your sanity back is to ignore the man. Act like he does not exist, cook, serve, do what you have to do at home but act like you do not see him. Start listening to gospel music and start uplifting your spirit. Your spirit is broken and if you are not careful, your body will also become broken. See the things he won’t forgive you for, such a petty man. He feeds his ego with these apologetic acts. God does not need the permission of the offended to forgive the offender, let us assume you offended him......G

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    4. "don't pamper a Grown man " but its grown women that should be pampered abi ?
      And anybody who does not want to or know how to apologize should not even be married....Male and female
      That's not a marriage, you are living together but that's not a marriage

      Delete
    5. @cinqamis,thumbs up

      @saphire ok sis am waiting

      Anon 18:35: asin the thing tire meeeeeh

      Anon 18:59 thanks for the correction, u completely misunderstood me,but no point explaining to you, u are free to say ur mind, udo.

      Delete
    6. Paprika I have said it all. Me kneel and beg a man??? I don’t even apologize again I beg. If u don’t like what I did then deal with it.

      Delete
  4. Your husband is immature, stop begging him.

    You need to stop falling apart when he starts throwing tantrums and IGNORE him.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your husband is a typical narcissist. My dear you have a source of income, take your children and leave before he drives you insane. Google about narcissist and you will see that the description fits your husband.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly..Thats what I did with my 2 kids. Now I dont live in fear about what his mood will be when he comes back from work again..Though it takes me doing extra part time job to keep up with the bills but I have my peace of mind.. I lived with him for 12yrs no introduction or wedding. Lord i thank you for your mercy and provision. Now he's hoovering to come and live with us.

      Delete
    2. This Narcissism is the most abused word on the internet.🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

      Delete
    3. A terrible narcissist ..Time for her to talk to have one final talk with him (not beg) even though I doubt he will change ..but tell him you cannot live like this and after a short while if no change (you didn't say if your business is profitable )carry your self out with kids or else you may go mad . Your husband has something broken in him that only a relationship with God can fix no man can fix that . meanwhile stop begging him just respect him and face your kids.

      Delete
  6. Madam make up your mind on what you really want. No marriage is perfect as mine also has it's flaws. The moment there is no longer 'LOVE'in a marriage,it's simply dead on arrival,depression is real and detrimental to the health. No one deserves to be treated this way.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is sad to read.

    Please, focus on yourself, kids, and business. Do your duty as a wife and leave him alone. Stop begging him.

    I know as a church person, you won't like my advice but at this point in your life, you need to start living for YOU and not kill yourself because of him. Crying every time is bad for your health, hope you know this? Your children need you. This is not how God designed marriage to be and raising your beautiful kids in this kind of toxic situation is so wrong. Please, think of you and your kids and do the right thing.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Nigerian men seem to love being "begged". Why should one human beg the other especially over really inconsequential reasons. I never do it as the more you beg them, the more they act up...its never ending. If there is an issue, it should be discussed between 2 adults.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because of their fragile egos, bullying upbringing and poor self esteem

      Delete
  9. Your kids begging you to stay are just doing what every little child of their ages would do. They know nothing about the emotional turmoil you are in. When they get older they may turn around to wonder why you listened to them when you know full well they are oblivious of your marital woes.

    Your husband has an unforgiving spirit and there is nothing you can do about it. Besides, it seems he wants out and does not know how to relay it to you. He keeps a record of wrongs because he does not love you. I do not know the details of your first chronicle but reading this rejoinder, you do not need a soothsayer to tell you he feels spiteful.

    That aside, I feel there is nothing wrong in having a contrary opinion to your spouse, however, what matters is how you present your point of view using tact considering that you both are in the glare of everyone and humans have a knack of reading unnecessary meaning to things.

    About you talking over him, I notice most people are like that when communicating with others and everybody no matter how perfect must have been guilty of that at some point in time and if we were to get a dollar for ever time someone spoke over us, trust me, we would all be billionaires by now. Not saying that it is right anyways, after all for an interaction to take place you need to have a sender and a receiver and communication is a two-way street. However, you already apologised right? What else to do? but it seems your spouse has a huge ego.

    About sacrificing your happiness for your kids. Can your kids ever be happy, if their mother isn't happy?

    You give him too much leeway and you have lost your self-respect in his eyes. I think it's high time you stop feeding his ego and take back your sanity. You keep apologizing for everything that with the time you will be stripped of your identity and self-esteem. He isn't the only one who has the monopoly to feel irate. Ignore him already! and quiet being predicted.

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  10. Emotional manipulation at its finest, gaslighting! You cannot win with this man. Stop trying to please him at the risk of your sanity. Ignore him and focus on your children.

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  11. My dear, I had an ex like that and a close friend was married to a carbon copy of your spouse. Based on my experience, I believe your spouse is bi-polar. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO MAKE THIS MARRIAGE WORK!
    I will advise you plan yourself and leave this marriage. Y? Because of your children. The more they grow up seeing what is going on, the most likely one of them will take his behavioural pattern. Your kids are in their formative years, one or more of this will happen based on what they see.
    1. Your daughter will grow up with low self esteem having the impression that a woman must apologize and seek approval from any man in their life. This will simply continue the abusive cycle in your family. LEAVE to save your lovely girls from ending up like you. They will most likely fall for an abuser, because that is all they know.
    2.Bipolar is hereditary and living with someone suffering from this disease can mess up your mind, and understanding. You are unable to think and act normal at home. Normalcy is gone from your home. The likelihood your kids will reason and act normally is slim. They may over react or under react when faced with life issues. They may lack interpersonal skills as teenagers and end up having unhealthy relationships.

    In essence, for the sake of your beautiful kids, plan your exit. Thankfully to God, you have a source of income. Please LEAVE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My sisters and I grew up in such a marriage. My dad was an OG sadist. We do not have one good memory of him. My mum was a weak woman who craved his approval and she never got it. Madam, please leave without delay.

      Delete
    2. You got it!!!

      Bipolar (or some other mood disorder) with traces of Narcissistic personality. The man has mental illness but they don’t know

      Delete
  12. Love your neighbour as you love yourself....NOT MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF!!!!

    Your husband is a Sadistic fellow;and such human feeds on people's emotion hence he derives joy in what he does to you..

    He is with someone that is even expressing herself and apologizing;if you blank him,his ego would be bruised and he will be the one running after you to know what next is on your mind..

    Give him a taste of his own medicine;wake up in the morning and carry your own face throway for weeks;face your kids while at that..

    Never beg to be loved,needed or Accepted!!
    If he sees value in you;he won't take you for granted..

    @MARTINS

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  13. Even if you begged him to marry you, enough already please before you die before your time...the funny thing is that you will still go back to beg after reading our advice, that's how you people behave.

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    Replies
    1. QueenAmy I agree with you. She is sending another chronicle.

      Delete
  14. I came back from abroad and with my woman went out to meet some family friends of hers. In the course of discussion, she was raising her voice above every one on the table made up mostly of men. Both topic for men, she was dominating the discussion, almost shouting. I felt very very un comfortable. I gave her signs, she did not see or was not interested in the signs. I never talked. I kept quiet. I was a smoker then so I smoked and smoked and smoke while sweating looking at her to no avail. Some of the things she shouted her voice on top of others were off point. When we got home, I asked her why she was doing that she answered she did not want to be seen as an ignorant person. I was shocked. It took me time to forgive her. Not because it was hard to, but because she did not understand she messed up. The men will bring up topic and she will hijack it. I felt terribly bad. As years went by, I took time to explain to her she should not have behaved in that way. She grudgingly accepted.

    Your husband's case is extreme. He imaginarily, blames you for his mistakes and worst part is to blame you up front to what you are yet to do.

    Pray for strength, bone him up, yes, bone him. Stop begging him. He is so used to you begging him. Stop begging for what you have sort forgiveness from him before. He is not the owner of your life. He is just your husband.

    If you break down from being nervous or stress, or anything happens to you, he moves on. And he will blame you for what happened almost a decade ago. Borrow sense, please.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. what was ur problem with her? that she spoke up amongst men or she was off topic? was she argumentative? was she combative? Or you felt she shouldn't speak up amongst men? don't you think that is oppressive?

      Delete
    2. Wife not slave sir. Women go to school and write the same exams as men but because she said I Do she shouldn’t have opinions again. Truly misogyny is real. Why would a man like you marry and clip the wings of an opinionated woman. She could have ended up as successful as Aisha Yesufu or Oby Ezekwesili. But now she will be quiet forever, because she is your Mrs

      Delete
    3. Typical

      A woman has to dumb down to seem acceptable to men but its okay for men to voice their opinions no matter how ignorant.

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      Delete
    4. I remember meeting the friends of a guy I was dating and the discussion was around infectious diseases. None of them had a medical degree. None of them had ever been in a clinical setting. But because they were men, they felt they knew more than me, an expert in that subject matter. Their level of ignorance was quite shocking and what was worse was their inability to accept the truth even when it was googled. That was the day I decided on the type of man I will avoid like the plague. I simply can't be around such people mbok.

      Delete
  15. And one human being will come and preach marriage to me after my first experience and with the ones I see and read online. I jump and pass jare.

    Madam, can you please for the sanity of you and your lovely children TAKE A WALK.
    That man have seen you finish and think you can do nada, that you'll keep taking whatever shit he gives you.

    Reading this alone is so depressing not to talk of experiencing it first hand.

    Your children would be more grateful you left when they grow up.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I hate to say this but it seems this man is tired of you and wants out but don't know how to go about it.
    He stopped having sex with you about a year ago so how has he been doing it.
    There might be another woman at the picture.
    Have you prayed about this?
    Tell it to God, remember there is nothing he cannot do and he is the author of marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many religious women are married to abusive men and the marriages are NEVER fixed. This doesn’t come off as empathetic at all

      Delete
  17. Madam it's quite unfortunate you married an APC member. God will see you through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ˜²πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
  18. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm just imagine me seating down and saying that hmmm with my mouth dragged down and my two hands under my breast like an old lady. It is well......

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  19. Married to a complete narcissist but he has changed after I started paying back in his own coins,the last time he refused to eat because of slight misunderstanding and I refused to beg him unlike before since that day he has stopped rejecting food.Look for a jist / chart partner,dress well to make him feel jealous,I usually get my self busy at home by listening to music, I can play ruffle with my children for Africa,diversify your biz so that you can get more busy,stop begging him if it is not necessary,stop looking for attention where there is non.I know the feeling of wanting to feel love.
    I did all of the above and I am enjoying my marriage now,intact we just into the middle of the night now

    ReplyDelete
  20. This story just remind me of my sister Inlaw and my brother,he feels he is always right,the wife will beg and beg ,I feel sad for her sometimes,women Dey hear oba from man hand

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  21. As a young lady I have learned so much from this blog about relationship and marriage issues I would use later in the future , I love this blog madly ����������

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  22. I think to some degree he hates you. He definitely is not in love with you and perhaps perceived marriage as a domain that he would rule supreme and the wife just says yes to everything without question. You are unequally yoked, he needs a submissive woman and you would thrive with a man who wants a passionate and opinionated woman. See all the apologies and changes you have made is not enough, there is no reward to receive because he is an unforgiving person. I wonder why he chose to marry you when deep down it is a woman who barely speaks or have any opinion of her own that he truly desires. There is an element of misogyny here.

    I cannot encourage you to stay in this marriage. You need a separation. You need to breathe and be free and not have to be walking on egg shells everyday. Living in such a stressful environment will keep your cortisol levels constantly high leading to disease. Please don't lose your health mental and physical over this man. When you are gone he will replace you within three months if that long with another woman. Separate and go find your peace. The children will adjust.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Trust me he just enjoys oppressing his wife. Many men marry just to have someone they can permanently control. Interestingly, the husband will likely have a mistress outside who treats him like shit. A lot of men won’t let their wives have a voice yet their mistresses insult them at will. And they spend all their fun moments with the mistresses then go home to become an angry dictator. That’s his own form of pleasure with the wife

      Delete
    2. Twisted sick people have no business getting married

      Delete
  23. E hugs for you, sis. I've been there. HehHe been gaslighting you. Check the meaning of this online. Only you can save yourself from this form of abuse.

    You don't need to run away, everything must begin in your mind. Do away with the victim mentally that you have, and tell yourself that you are strong, beautiful and unstoppable.

    If God has forgiven you, then you are forgiven. Try not to seek for his attention and validation, because he will always use it as a weapon against you. Your children are your treasures, make them proud. Don't let them see you as a weakling who is always crying.

    You were an entity before you married him, revive this entity, hold your head high, and believe that God will perfect your joy.

    I've been there before, and I write from experience.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Sweetie, the solution to your problem is to stop begging. Please stop begging, stopping giving him an ego to feed upon. If he wants to be a housemate rather than a husband then so be it but please stop apologizing.
    Focus on your business, prioritize you. Do you. Be happy for you and your daughter. Stop allowing your life revolve around that sociopathic husband of yours. He's abusing you, probably boasting to his friends that he has you under his feet. Please be you.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This thing called marriage sef
    Hmmm

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hmmmm! see my sister, LOCK UP. Mine is a devil incarnate. I have been married for 12years and I have been the one begging and crying because i am in love(i still do). every little thing, he will get angry and move out and i will get depressed and go and beg. This cycle continues for about 4 times till i got fed up and stood my ground that i wont beg. its been 2years plus without him. At a point, he stopped paying for the house sent and the allowance. I have been faithful to my vows and God has been showing himself strong and i have PEACE. I still miss him though...lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You miss a devil's incarnate?
      I don't pity you

      Delete
  27. Madam poster, the first step is take care of yourself, look nice and live your life. Blank him, if he doesn't talk to You, please don't talk to him, stop apologising to him....do these and watch him turn and around and start worshiping you. Talking from experience. He enjoys it whe you you beg and look for his attention. IGNORE HIM!!!!!!!

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  28. Stop begging and face your business, your children and God. Forgive him from your heart so that you can have peace of mind but STOP BEGGING.

    ReplyDelete
  29. You have had a lot of good advice. Get yourself back. How can you let someone born of a woman oppress you like this that you have lost your peace. You are permanently in a servile position. Kilode?

    As for Anon at 16.21 who has an opinionated woman but insists on caging her! By their fruits we shall know them. Why not go for a woman who wants to keep quiet where folks are voicing their opinions? Honestly, I tire. Because she is associated with you, when men are talking she should keep silent? Who did women offend that makes it even okay for you to be voicing this in civilised company?

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    Replies
    1. The worst part is that this sort of men will leave subservient women and be looking for a bold woman to break her spirit. He is sick

      Delete
  30. Do not cover up for his madness. Let his kids see this. Is your business fine? Give him space. Let him enjoy his forgiveness in peace. Manipulative men are devil......you'll end up hating yourself. My sister is married to one. He finally got a job in benue and she looks better than when he was around.

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  31. Poster I’m not here to advice you as I can see that members of bvn above have already done that; I’m here to show you love.

    Sis we love you, you are beautiful, kind, strong and loved. There is no one like you sis; you are one of a kind. Nobody can take that away from you. You are created in God’s image and He loves you scatter. Infact if you offend Him and ask for forgiveness he forgives you straight away can you see He is awesome.

    Look around you my sister you are blessed; you have 3 kids a striving business. You are healthy and alive with no health issues; can you see you are blessed. Why are you crying sis when your blessings are uncountable? No man born of a woman can take away your joy why because they did not give it to you only your creator gave it to you.

    Have you seen that meme that I love so much it says YOU CANNOT BREAK A WOMAN WHO SEEKS HER HAPPINESS FROM GOD!

    Oya start seeking your happiness from God because POWER MUST CHANGE HANDS. TAKE BACK YOUR POWER!!!

    I don’t know you but I love you sis

    ReplyDelete
  32. Wow! This chronicle hits so close to home. I believe one day, I'll tell my story too.. I'm only glad I had the courage to damn all consequences & walked away.

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    Replies
    1. Bravo! May God continue to strengthen you.

      Delete
  33. I feel ur pain here,I don't think I can be this patient.....
    Meanwhile I finally got an id after 5 yrs......so happy I achieve something this 2020

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  34. Sweetheart , you are married to a bustard controlling, depressing freak of a husband. Such people can never be happy . They suck happiness away from you and using it to brave their low self esteem.He can never stop . Next stage will be condemn every friends and family around you make you feel low of yourself, defame your character to anyone and such men sabi
    talk. They look calm and collected and people always believe them . A real definition of personality disorder. . .My husband whom I brought to UK is just like that .The good thing is i packed him for 4months now and already file for divorce. He is running everywhere begging me ,but honestly, I am definitely over him

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    Replies
    1. Wow...Who knows may he's jealous of you. Any kids yet?

      Delete
  35. Poster, I think you married my ex younger brother. You just described him up there but his own case is worse. 15yrs of my life down the drain. I filed for divorce this year after living apart for almost 3yrs. I have not dated anyone or intimate with any man apart from my ex but I have peace of mind that gives me orgasm. I had to bleach my knees during the marriage because I was always kneeling to beg him and he can sulk for weeks without eating my food and he comes home right after work, doesn't hang out with friends and not into side chic, that is tormenting if you ask me. My story no be for here, I for send chronicles but nobody go read am cos e go get part 1-6. Let me stop here. Las las, that your hubby will walk out on the marriage o.na their way. I would advise to start strategizing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My own tried to turn me into a beggar...ko le work!

      Delete
  36. Show the man that you don't need him to be happy. Stop apologizing for anything. It feeds his ego. Ignore him and BE HAPPY. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR KIDS. This will make him fear you and his senses will return.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oh my God. My dad is like your husband only worse. Please take your children and flee or else they will never forgive you for having to grow up in such a toxic environment. men like that you do not beg. The more you beg them the more they hate you. If you stay be prepared to either blank him completely or fight for as long as it take till he behaves. All of us 5 girls are damaged because of my dad, some more than others. The least damaged of us gave it to him hot hot and blanked him for years. She played him at his own game. Please madam I am begging you, his type will never change and your offences will keep changing. He has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and cannot be cured.

    ReplyDelete
  38. My dear, good people have given you very good advice. Ignore him. Face your God, children and business in that order. No more begging. Just stop it! Begging for what? Is he God? If he cannot forgive you, he can go to hell. My husband was like that. I showed him pepper. He has relaxed now but still misbehaves once in a while. Stopped eating my food over two years now. It doesn't bother me. He loves cooking, less stress for me. We are good. Take back your life from that man. You deserve to be happy. If he doesn't change, take a walk. Life is too short for you to be so unhappy. I wish you well. God will see you through and make you happy.

    ReplyDelete
  39. My elder sister is way older than me and used to tell me a lot of stories, she once told me about one of her friends who would cry all day but when she hears the husband’s car will start playing loud music and shouting at the top of her voice like she is so into the song and then act like she didn’t realise he just got home.
    Long story short he started going around talking to her friends that they should come and talk to the wife that she behaving as if she is happy they are quarrelling. She ignored him and made him uncomfortable with her happiness.
    This particular story stuck with me and everytime I see the couple that’s what I remember.
    Maybe you should try and ignore your husband .

    ReplyDelete
  40. You are married.to a narcissistic...they are not human..instead of a heart a dark and sad is there.

    There is nothing you can do to make it work, you can never make a narcissist happy. The more you beg the more you feed into his ego. His goal is to make you his slave.

    Save money, hustle, and RUN AWAY with your kids

    ReplyDelete

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