Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Thursday, January 14, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmm......











STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED


Hi Stella,

Please I need advice from you and your BVs.


My hubby and I have been married for 6 years. Hubby is a good man in all ramifications. He takes care of the family according to his capability, makes sacrifices to keep us happy. In fact, during and after this covid lockdown, our bond and love grew stronger. He is now more romantic (wakes me up with kisses, he even woke me with kisses on my feet this morning) and our s#x life is stronger than ever now.


To my main story, hubby has been in the bank for 10 years with only one promotion which was 2 years ago, although there has been a steady growth in remuneration. He started with 170k and is now at 320k. We live in Lagos. I also work and I earn around 240k (I've only worked for 5 years with 3 job changes). I always get worried about hubby's career and his growth pace. 


However, each time i bring it up he gets angry that i am putting him under undue pressure and not appreciative of his sacrifices. He came from a lowly background while i came from a bit above average background. I always feel cos of his background, he feels he is already at the peak but I wish for him to do better, and also a better life for our children. He only has his B.sc, was doing ACCA and stopped midway when kids started coming and i wasn't working back then. He never went back. i even encouraged him to go for M.sc in Nigerian university or even abroad but he refused. I mean he is 40 and no asset to his name asides insurance he has been doing for the children. 


I am really worried.


Sometime ago, his friend moved to a better paying job and i used the opportunity to bring up the topic of growth again. He obliged and we even set up a LinkedIn account for him. He couldn't follow through and relaxed again. He prefers to be on twitter than LinkedIn or to pick up free online courses. He keeps believing he will grow in his current job. He is actually one of the best in his region but its not reflecting on his lifestyle compared to the stress and work. I mean he leaves very early, comes home like 9-10pm. Works most Saturdays.


I brought up the topic yet again and he flared up and we had a quarrel over that. He said its uncomfortable when your woman thinks you are not doing enough.
Few months ago, another of his acquaintances relocated with his family to the uk. I feel like we are backwards. There is no push or zeal to do better. He is so relaxed with his comfort zone. Since the endsars, sometimes he would toy with the idea of Canadian immigration but it ends there. No follow up. He would say its better to look at that option when you lose your job. 


I tried to make him see its actually a sacrifice at giving a better life to our kids. He even did insurance for job loss.


Am I being unreasonable? please advise me.





*Madam,it takes two to tango....

you are not being unreasonable at all,if he is not making any moves ,then you begin the move and when he sees how serious you are he will join in.....if all you do is talk without action,then you are actually nagging him...Begin the process already....If its a job,or relocation or whatever,you make the first move and let him take over.....
Well done oh,it is not easy.

70 comments:

  1. Be sensitive a bit, dont push until he resents you. You know ur husband more than anyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right. that was how hubby pushed me last quarter of last year after I had worked in 2 diff places with little or no pay. He nagged me and reported me to my family so much that it got to me and I wanted to leave the marriage. But thank God things were resolved and he learned his lesson.
      Poster, stop talking to him and take action like Stella said

      Delete
    2. I understand this poster very well, my husband is exactly like this, infact they have so many similarities that if people that knows us read this they will feel we are the one(except slight change in salary and he has been working for 15yrs).

      I stopped complaining like 6 or 7 years ago when i discovered he hate people forcing him to do something. What i do was(even till now) at the end of every year we started writing what we achieved together as a family ( we dont personalize anything in my family) and we plan and write what we feel should be done in the coming year. We always go through it as ofen as we can.

      Now he has done his masters and he has like 4 papers to complete his ACCA, we have 1 uncompleted building and a land. We are not where most of his friends are but we are moving.

      We celebrate every of pur achievement now, even if it is buying N5 something from our list.

      My point is for you to change your manners of telling him and you as a person should keep moving too.

      We always talk about our dreams too and i will stylishly tell him we need to be a good example for our children and that we should improve ourselves so that our children will learn from us.

      Delete
    3. Poster why are you so focused on removing the speck in his eye when you have a lot in yours? Why not push yourself to increase your earning? If you want to relocate to Canada, start the process! You are younger than him, I assume, so will have higher score because a 40 year old with no masters won't score that high. Find out what you need to qualify. Lots of wives were the main applicant because women seem to have higher IELTS scores.

      Delete
    4. @anonymous 16:29, believe me when i tell you that you took the best step ever in changing your man/family situation. that is how God plans it when he brings a good wife a husband's way. to the poster, i totally understand your plight, most wives/girlfriends that mean well go through this. however, the problem(s) that usually arise from this is....the manner of approach.
      i know how the man feels, as i am also a man and my ex did all these, but so undermined me, made me feel less of a man and highly unappreciated while trying to make the future better for both of us. she ended up leaving, saying i was a very unserious person, while still admitting that i was the best, most caring, most intelligent person she has ever met.
      your man knows very well that you want the best for him and your family, but he flares up because the way you are going about it makes him feel undermined and unappreciative of all his efforts and i can assure you that that hurts alot, because in his subconscious, he knows that he is trying his best. softly talk to him, be in sync with his feelings, mindset, and everything within, always start your conversations with him on this topic on a highly positive note e.g baby, you know you are the best thing that has ever/will ever happy to be, and in a thousand lifetimes, you'll be all i'll ever need (assurance first), i want the best for us (security), you've made my life beautiful with God (guarantee), and spending the rest of my life with you is/has been the best decision ever, while we both go about our jobs/businesses, our mindset should be set on higher grounds. i, he wife/baby would start the process, and i trust that because you believe me and our family, you'll meet me halfway as all i ever want is nothing short of the best that God has destined us to be.
      when he listens nd agrees, he'll have his quiet time, reflect, cry in private if possible, and be strenghtened to advance, maybe not because of himself, but because someone has openly declared belief in him (there is nothing that drivees a man to the skies than someone believing in him, even when he has doubts sometimes as to believing himself). G!

      Delete
  2. Please go with stella’s Advice!

    No words

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This post is even "ministering" to me. Yes, i have grown faster and higher than my mates but i know i am becoming complacent and too comfortable. The me that i know b4 marriage was always looking for new grounds to conquer and i was never fulfilled nor comfortable no matter how successful i became. But now...maybe marriage and children has taken away that quest but this 2021 o i must rekindle it.

      Comfort zone: that place where NOTHING ever happens? Nah...

      Delete
  3. What I see here is a woman who is set on doing things like relocation because "their friends are relocating."
    Please learn to set your own goals (led by God) in accordance with your destiny in life and follow it. No matter what others are doing.
    Because, "when they compare themselves by themselves, they are not wise." (2 Corinth. 10:12). If you do not know your life destiny, seek Christ and follow his teachings and pray to find out.
    No two people are same on earth. 🤔🤔

    ReplyDelete
  4. So your aim in wanting him to relocate you is because others are relocating?
    Must you always follow other people. How about doing things out of personal convictions?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's all you see... You didn't see no ASSET AND NO GROWTH IN JOB.
      See the heart of the writer sometimes...okay.

      Delete
  5. Madam I totally agree with the advice Stella gave.its just a fit for your story.
    See eh like that Canada move, you can build on it. Make plans and begin to build on them even without telling him, but don't go too far before letting him in. Your zeal in it might be the push he needs to dream again.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Poster I’m particularly about you and your hubby earning close to 600k every month yet no asset? You guys must be living larger than Davido

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Her chronicle is really making me angry, if she has a saving habit in 3 yrs she should be able to save and the money saved in another 3 years will be able to build a comfortable 3 bedroom flat but no, she wants to nagg the man to an early grave when she herself is yet to accomplish anything with such huge salary.

      Delete
    2. Fan,God bless you Nne,ibu ezigbo nwa afo.600k with kids still in Nursery or primary and not a small house to call their own?Madam poster, please go back to the drawing board oh.

      Delete
    3. That money is not big if you live in lagos and have 2-3 children in school trust me.
      Calculate it per annum (about 8-9M), that would hardly buy a plot of land where I live (and I live on the outskirt).
      It's not necessarily because they squander money.
      Have you considered recurring expenses? And who knows, he might just be one of those who would rather leave money in saving account rather than investing.

      Delete
    4. Lol... one time I agree with Fan.
      Like 600k and no assets?? There’s more problems than you trying to push your husband, madam.

      Delete
    5. Omo fan am with you 1000%. She isn't a good manager at all. With 600k salary and no asset? The guy even over works and still has time to be pampering you, yet u won't give him peace? Did they say hustle is for only men? What stops you madam from hustling for extra income or doing your masters? Abi okonjo ngozi no be person wife? Or angela markel no be person wife abi linda ikeji or stella get two heads? These are women doing great things biko.

      100k feeeding a family of 4.
      Rent 1.2m so meaning u keep 100k monthly).
      Extended families 50k.
      Your fuel and other expenses 100k.
      If 2 kids pay 1.2m that is another 100k as school fees.
      Savings 150k

      So please tell me how 3m in the first year can't buy a land and then in 5years u could have built a bungalow.

      Start the canada process yourself and start managing your finances better.

      Delete
  7. Good advice from Stella. Quit nagging and start doing and moving to the next level. You married a baby husband so continue spoon feeding till he's strong enough to take over no matter the age.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Some men don't see reasons in their wife's advice cos they don't have the strength to start it. My mother inlaw begged the husband to buy a land to build, he refused, citing less funds as excuse, when he was paid off in his place of work, she sneaked into her husband's room collected the money, quickly bought a land and commenced building. When he realized that his money was gone, cos he threw it in his savings box in his room, the house is far gone, he landed her a hot slap and later forgave her, this house is what the children are enjoying till this day, cos they are lucky with good tenants that pays on time. Poster I don't need to say much again.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Don't kill this man before his time. We have some couples living on quarter of what you earn and they're not putting this much pressure on their spouses. Can't you start applying for the Canadian immigration as the principal applicant? And once it clicks, you relocate with all your family. Learn to appreciate your man, no crime in you getting a job paying higher than his. Put the pressure on yourself to do better.

    Also, with proper management of what you both earn, you can achieve many things, you don't have to live in an apartment where people that earns millions stays, your kids should attend moderate and yet standard school. With that, you should have savings please.



    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
  10. U are a good woman poster👍..there are silent ways of pushing someone,push and pull and achieve your goals without breaking your family.since talking is bringing problems,STAND UP FOR HIM.♥️

    ReplyDelete
  11. Take to Stella's advise...I understand the desire to do more...but it may require you taking the initiative and he joins in than for you to be nagging him all the time.
    Do it differently this time and watch the outcome. Ciao.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Same thing my partner does this and that recommendation and I am like oga free, I always feel pressured as though my partner is not proud of my efforts. The truth is I beat myself up already I don’t need anyone alleviating my woes.
    The worse thing is when you now start comparing your partner to Mr A and B it just rubs off poorly on his ego. Like you said it is not like he is laying on his back doing nothing. You sef make the moves. You can make the suggestion once in a while but it shouldn’t be every time Abeg. Let that man have peace of mind Biko.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alleviating your woes is a good thing, I guess you wanted to say *adding to your woes*

      Delete
  13. Madam keep pushing him to succeess, he actually should be lucky he have you

    ReplyDelete
  14. Nothing to add to Stella's advice. You're trying to keep up with the Jones's.

    You have been reading from blog visitors for women to start investing in themselves and children but you are there nagging your husband who already took out insurance policy for job loss. Which one you don do since you marry.. Be there counting other people's achievement you hear...

    Lovelace

    ReplyDelete
  15. Chai! See better wife. Your husband doesn't appreciate what he has. Imagine having a woman by your side who pushes you to do better. Keep up the pressure madam, don't let him rest. Register those free online courses for him if he's dithering. Whatever you do, don't stop pushing. What affects him automatically affects the family. You be correct woman.
    God bless your home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When you push him to the wall, then you deal with whatever bounces back oh, some people cant be pushed... no matter how u try.
      Madam you nko? How have u multiplied ur earnings??
      Start the Canada waka, he will be moved

      Delete
  16. TAKE IT TO GOD IN PRAYERS ...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Many men are so laid back, so far they have an ok job, they are ok. Forgetting what ifs that comes along. I would say, take it to God in prayers and plan ahead but ensure you carry him along and dont expect him to be in the driver's seat.

    ReplyDelete
  18. No, you are not overreacting. But I'm afraid you're married to a man who's comfortable where he is. You're already married to him so I advise you stop pushing it else he (and others as you can see from some of the comments) will see your efforts as "nagging".

    This life sef is funny. Something one person sees as "nagging" another would see it as "pushing to greater heights".

    I suggest you focus on your own growth. Focus on growing career-wise and don't be ashamed of it. There's nothing bad if you begin the Canada runs yourself. If he sees how successful it is going, he may be more inclined to listen.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Take it easy with him madam. Your husband will definitely listen to you if you can be a bit calm when trying to make him understand your point. Men don’t like women who feels he isn’t doing much and if you continue this way he might get tired and will say are pushing him or since you are also working then make the first move and I’m sure when he sees it, he wlll definitely follow up.

    ReplyDelete
  20. You are not been reasonable dear... Yours has a work but mine none.

    Just as Stella advised take action. I have started the process of relocating to Canada by paying for our result verification and registering for IELTS... At first he was against it but when he saw my efforts,he gat no choice but to join the moving the train.. Never cease to pray.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dear Poster, 1) don't listen to any negative comment. There is nothing wrong with your thoughts. you aren't comparing yourself with your friends, neither are you discontented, you are only forward thinking and worried about slow progress. 2) Your husband is loving and all, please don't let this be an issue. 3.Take Stella's advice, you be the driving force. I faced similar thing in my marriage, hubby having ego didn't want me earning higher than him so that pushed him to dust his cv and aim higher. 4. I got tired of the lagos hustle and stress, I got tired of the 5am - 9pm. So I started the immigration process, what am I saying? Start the process yourself and you will be shocked at how your hubby will wake up and become more zealous about the process. 5. You both earn about 600k monthly, I understand there are kids, but can you cut down a little and save better. My hubby and I had a joint income of 600k when we bought our first land in Ajah, 4 years later we had a lovely duplex. By then family income had grown to 1m. We rented the house and moved to Canada, we are doing very well in Canada and next week is our 3 years anniversary, we have good jobs and a house. All the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster follow this advice. You can start by buying some properties in your name and the kids even if it is half plot of land you can afford. Do tuition savings for your kids and some investments with time he will pick up. Sometimes you lead by example. You are good woman and your concerns are valid.

      Delete
    2. Thank you for saying this. There's nothing wrong with wanting more for you're and partner.

      Some comments make it seems like she's reaching too high and should be grateful for him having a job.

      Delete
    3. You have said it all.
      I agree TOTALLY with your submission anonymous15:45

      Delete
  22. Madam calm down, I believe your feel the pressure you are putting on him whenever a colleague or friend is attaining a greater height. Give him and breathing space and plan for you both.
    When your plans become fruitful, I believe he will appreciate it and be prepared to take a bigger and bolder step.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Poster, I wish all married women were as ambitious as you are, start the Canadian application yourself, if it clicks, he won't say he will not go.

    Keep a soft copy of his CV and keep applying for jobs for him,my sister applied for her hubby and even ought flight ticket for him to go for test, today, he is a confirmed big boy.

    You have a good man but he isn't very ambitious or motivated so you may have to compensate for him in that regard. All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  24. All of you abusing her should please stop it. It's people like you that made one of my relatives die penniless without anything to pass on to his children. He had opportunities to buy properties in the 70s but he refused because he's comfortable. His hardworking wife earned enough and even bought land, he nagged her till she sold it and gave him the money which he because of talk from people like you guys.

    So please she's not overreacting. She's not "nagging".

    That you're not in a position to plan to move to another country doesn't mean you should insult the woman. Only a good woman wants something better for her family. Do you know how it feels to watch someone waste his potentials?

    Poster, you're not overreacting please. However, this may cause a very big issue in your marriage so I advise you drop it for now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly she may not go about it the right way but she has good intentions. You are a good woman

      Delete
    2. You don't have sense. You are the one even overreacting and being abusive. Did you read any abusive comment here.

      Delete
    3. Kaị!
      Such Sad story anonymous 15:49.
      There's Nothing wrong with being ambitious and wanting more growth for her family, absolutely nothing wrong.

      May we never bypass opportunities and growth due to overbloated ego and pride.

      Delete
  25. Who says it's a taboo to get a better paying job and start acquiring assets for the family. Must it always be the man? Abeg, stop stressing someone's son and let him grow at his pace or you do the growing for the benefit of the family.

    ReplyDelete
  26. So you earn #240,000 each month and if you save #40,000 each month consistently for three each Years that will be 1.44M, that money can get you a plot of land, and if your husband saves #50,000 that will be around 1.5M in 3 years. I feel you guys are enjoying too much and your not a good planer as a wife should be, I guess your children are going to a very expensive school? Meanwhile most of the lecturers that taught me finished from community school. So madam even if your husband earns 1M a month you guys wouldn't still accomplish much as your taste will increase.. do you know most families are having properties here and there and still their combined income is not up yours?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The value of 1.44m or 1.5m now won't be the same in 3years, ever heard of time value for money?

      It's also not just about having property either. You don't know the break down of their household income, if the husband provides for his extended family since he grew up poor.
      Living in Lagos with kids is not the most comfortable life with 600k combined income like you all make it seem on this blog.

      When you talk property and land you also don't know where she would want to live, I bought land last year, and the price of that same place has gone up almost 1/4 of the price. So imagine the cost in 3 years. She very right to worry abeg. Nobody knows what can happen in 3 years.

      Delete
    2. 1.44m can get u a plot of land where?

      Delete
    3. Reasonable doubt thank you, same thing I typed in a shorter version up there. 3M will buy you a plot of land only in Mowe/Ota axis if you are in lagos.
      So let's assume the family manages to build a house there but they both work on the island, how feasible and convenient is it to move all the way and go to work from there everyday??
      People just see money and start calculating based on their personal peculiarities.

      Delete
    4. Thank you oooh, reasonable doubt!!! I agree with this your comment


      Blackie, at Ibeju lekki... You'll see land for that amount

      Delete
  27. Your husband’s ambition doesn't match yours. Don't feel guilty about wanting more, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    As for a career in banking, earning that amount with over 10years of experience means he's not exactly a high performer like you think. I started my banking career fresh out of school at 247k and by the time I left banking in Nigeria to move, I was earning over 500k with about 4years experience. He needs to consider moving to another bank or financial institution if he wants better pay.

    Things like higher degrees and certifications matter in Nigera don't be deceived, just stop pushing him since it's not something he wants. Try to do what you can and leave the rest.

    ReplyDelete
  28. You're just a lazy and an ungrateful woman. You have a good man yet you want to push him to an early grave. Continue, dont support your husband. I pity you.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Poster please complement your husband. Be his strength. Take the lead especially when n areas of assets and investment and he will come around. But I beg you to please stop comparing him to other people.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Una no get wahala,oya tell him to get a loan and start building

    ReplyDelete
  31. The way you aren't going about it is all wrong. If you are doing something that is asking him feeling bad about himself and you know this then why not try a different way. Why not start making some investments on your own for the family? We all have out strengths and weaknesses. On top of it the only time you seem to get motivated about him doing better is when someone else is doing something. Your life should not be patterned off anyone else's, otherwise you will never be satisfied because people are always doing stuff. For the amount of income you both bring it a more savvy wife would be making moves. Why have you not invested in a piece of land or started a small business? Stop watching other people's lives and ask yourself why you are not being a better woman for your household by being self directed.

    ReplyDelete
  32. You are a good woman, and as stella said start it and he will key in and support you. I have a wonderful wife, she was also this concerned about our family improvement. Because of her I got many certifications, I was more about work hard something good will happen. One day she started this canadian immigration process, disturbing me up and down, I supported her through the whole process as she was the one handling it, but I provided every penny required, today we are in canada today because she was relentless and we are doing very well.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Poster I totally understand how you feel.
    Since you've talked and done all you can, why not face your personal and career development, maybe he'll become motivated when he sees you progressing and doing well for yourself.
    Some people are just that way, they are satisfied with the average life;once they can afford basic shelter, clothing, feeding, they are good.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Typical example of peer pressure even at an old age.Be grateful for what you have,pray for him and let God take the lead.No be everybody wey relocate abroad go make am o.

    ReplyDelete
  35. All bvs against this Poster, please KNOW THIS TODAY, bank job in Nigeria or any routine job is A DREAM-KILLER.

    A of lower and middle level bankers are STAGNATED INTO ONE POSITION for 7 to 10 years with no hope of promotion in the next 7 to 10 years!

    This poster's hubby should get other qualifications and invest in real estate, then move jobs, set up his own business or relocate as he is inclined to.

    POSTER YOU ARE AN EXCELLENT WIFE! 👍👍👍👍👍❤️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A *lot* of lower and middle level banker..... (an error 🙏)

      Delete
  36. Oh well I've come to realize that no one has it all. You have a loving husband but with low ambition, another gets a high ambition man who is so busy and never at home, another gets a ready made rich man who is of elderly age or has baggage from previous marriage and so on. Enjoy his strengths and manage his flaws. Never tell him you want to relocate cos others are relocating, just say it's for the kids and their future. As others have commented, start the process yourself if you can, push yourself as well, and of course be patient and positive.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Poster you are nagging that man too much and if time us not taken your man will change from you.

    Stop comparing him with any colleagues of his that has move forward, men don't like things like that.

    Why don't you watch movie with him on the things you want him to do than constant reminder on the things he is not doing. You need something that will trigger it and not constant comparison with his mate.

    You too can grow from where you are to where you want him to be with your zeal he will adjust.

    Lastly, you should report him to his maker (God) he will adjust

    ReplyDelete
  38. Madam, start figuring out the Canada move yourself.

    You yourself know your husband is a local champion and feels he's at the peak of his career. LET ME TELL YOU FOR FREE BANKS ARE BRUTAL, ONE DAY SOON YOUR HUSBAND WILL COME HOME JOBLESS. So ensure YOU are planning for a future.

    Emigration is a good move. Look at Canada, look at Australia. You stop job hopping and spend some time growing your own skill set and your own qualification. Cut down on your costs, really start living like paupers to put away at least 8 months of current living costs in a interest bearing savings portfolio.

    Do your research on Canada or wherever, jokingly tell him that "baby, we're moving abroad o, I don apply" then laugh and make love, dey go like that until it clicks. Then you tell him. He should be happy that it's clicked and should have figured out before then that you're for real.
    Andy check out. Your husband is meant for abroad societies not Nigeria

    ReplyDelete
  39. 1) do you forbid a better job too?Apply all you are asking him to do about his job to yourself.The money is entering the family purse.

    2)Do you forbid doing all the background work for canadian runs?Have you done your own transcripts or even IELTS.Action speaks louder than words.Pay for his exam and ask him what date he wants to write...do yours and transcripts

    ReplyDelete
  40. Stella, you deserve a cold bottle of wine for your response. A times, men are not so driven, as we are especially when we have a conviction about an idea. This doesn't make them bad just as the poster has shown.

    I remember when my hubby and I agreed to relocate. I was the only person searching for information, researching, doing all sorts, but my hubby was doing 'nothing' according to me. Anyway, I forged ahead and the only thing he did was to write IELTS & go for medical tests 🤣. I cannot forget the day we got our ITA, my hubby waited for me on the street in our estate, I got home around 11pm that day and he was walking up and down our lane waiting for me to come home. His joy knew no bound and mine also. He was the first person to bring out boxes and arranged his possessions ready for the journey 🤣🤣.

    My point, when a vision is yours, it is easier to lead the way without getting tired, your man will catch up and follow you on the journey. All you need to do is lead the way and never nag him for not leading the way. We all have our strengths and men 'must' not be the one leading always.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Your concerns are valid and you are not a nag. Some men want a woman like you. Bank jobs that aren't even reliable plus your husband hasn't positioned himself in a place where he will always be in demand.

    What if he is laid off? What next? What are his chances of getting a better job when he has done nothing to improve himself?

    Just learn to approach the topic when he is in a good mood, don't complain or compare him, don't act like you are worried either. E.g Sweetheart I stumbled on a course that I think you will find interesting etc.

    Self development and advancement is key. 600k is not even that much by the time you pay rent, school fees, possibly maid, feeding, fuel gen etc so I don't know why bvs think you have arrived with such amount.

    Also look at advancing your own career or initiate the travel process If that is what you want.

    The truth is some people need a little push and are not ambitious at all. They are just laid back and not go getters.

    All the best and may the Lord bless your home.

    ReplyDelete

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