Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

 Hmmmmmm..





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
UNSTABLE BOYFRIEND




Good day Stella, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. Though its been on and off. 


Last year, I was in Lagos due to covid break and ASUU strike but he was at his base in Abuja. So it was long distance during that period and we had a lot of misunderstandings during that period I'll say because of the distance btw us. We stopped talking at some point cos he ghosted on me, he came back 2months later telling me its because he was going through a hard time with work and things were not right and he didn't want me to see him in that form and that's why he left like that, he apologized and we started talking again. 



After some time again, we stopped talking and I don't even know the reason. I didn't even bother to call or reach out to him and he didn't either so I was like when we resume back to school I'd try to see him and talk again. I'm usually not one that communicates when things are sour, I just leave things the way they are. I'm comfortable that way instead of talking and having arguments.


 So we resumed back to school in January and I called him to talk and we sorted everything. So we sparked things up again. After sometime again, he started acting strange. I kept asking him what's wrong but he refused to disclose anything to me saying he himself does not know what's wrong. We have stopped talking again but this time I'm thinking of actually letting go cos I'm tired of the on and off every time.

 I think I might be an overthinker cos anytime something like this starts, I always think that he's found someone else and doesn't know how to say it. But deep down I really don't know. He's from a family where he's not close with his parents and siblings at all, right from time, they treated him like a mistake child cos they weren't expecting anymore child. 


So his relationship with them is not good at all. Sometimes I feel like its cos if the way he grew up with his family and that affected him so it's his nature to just like his space and not want any disturbance, sometimes I think it's something else. 


I really don't know anymore. He's my first boyfriend so I'm really into him and don't want him to go, but I guess its beyond me now. Please I just need you to advice me like an aunt. Thanks for reading.




*Did i post this before? Cos sometimes i post twice and forget i had posted before...
If this Boyfriend is causing you so much heart ache and making you lose concentration in school or anywhere else, my dear, please face front and let him be...let him keep coming and going until he decides what he wants but you need to move on.....Keep your emotions in check and move it....
I know its hard but its better than being a door mat waiting for him to return and step on you again.

45 comments:

  1. Pls concentrate on your studies so you can get international scholarships in future.
    That your boyfriend can only bring you pains like distraction to come out with a good cgpa,abortion, fornication and heartache...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmm, boy friend and girlfriend and ure already going through this?
      Abeg let him go.
      Ure in school, how you won take concentrate cos I'm not getting this at all oooo.
      My dear, give yourself small sense please and let him waka go.

      Delete
    2. Keep your emotions in check and move on or you want to send us more chronicle...please just be careful not to get hurt

      Delete
  2. Personally, I don't endorse students having relationships. To what end? Marriage? Or just fornication? See how distracted you are.

    Please leave boyfriend matter and face your books. When you graduate, you can start relationship.

    Make you no get carry over for nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. If your boyfriend does not have the emotional maturity to communicate effectively with you whether in good or hard times, do you really want to have a long term relationship with him?

    Girl, he has done it three time already, he's not gonna stop ghosting you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster don't you have other toasters? Don't even bother breaking up with him. Just get close to others that are looking for your attention jor. See him turning you into a psychologist at your age struggling to figure him out and he is there feeling cool. You should have guys in your friend zone and times like this is why friend zones are created. You are young, enjoy yourself. You are only young once and youth is very transient.

      Delete
  4. He's a time waster and it's high time you moved on tbh

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lockdown that people got closer to their significant others?. Abi na another one?.
    If you cant see that you're a side chick, then nobody can help you.
    Mind you, you can actually be a side chick to a guy while he's searching for a main chick. Such people will never upgrade you,no matter how mu ch you try.
    If you marry them, they'll make your life a living hell.
    Be guided.
    On another note, you didnt tell us what this guy has that's making you hang around his nonsense for so long?.
    Is he rich or is his family rich ?
    Lmao

    ReplyDelete
  6. I forgot to add, leave his family out of it. Use your social media and follow not only gossip pages but also relationship coaches.you clearly need it

    ReplyDelete
  7. Whoever brings you the most peace should get the most time..

    Read that again and let it sink in

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Words that should be on marble

      Delete
    2. Words to live by. Invest in who invest in you. Those guys that ghost n come back u suppose to use them do "when I'm bored" or "when I have ur time I will respond. Give what ur given back and u won't ever feel cheated by any man

      Delete
    3. When you say you sort things out what do you guys resolve?
      If he genuinely cares about you he wont grow cold on you,no explanations,nothing of significance,please let it go,dont met him hurt you any longer!

      Delete
    4. Deep and insightful ❤️

      Delete
  8. Gosh! How i hate on and off relationship. Poster, dont let him toy with your emotions, ignore him and concentrate on your studies. The more you think about him, the more you wont feel like letting go. So, ignore his existence and give way for serious guy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Any relationship that gives you mental stress, you shouldn't be in it. If he is not treating you right, then he is not the right one for you. Stop making up excuses for the childish behavior of a grown man. Move on! You matter! You are worth being treated like a queen, not an after thought.
    P.S.....i don't understand how people always find it difficult to move on from 'first love' that treat them bad. Is it that they think they don't deserve better?

    ReplyDelete
  10. it is quite appalling how ladies go a long way to give excuses for misbehaving dudes. Love is not selfish. If someone is into himself, then he has not found his companion in you -period! πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„
    Stop sticking up for him. Find friends foremost in Jesus and then in other people including dudes. Keep yourself pure and the Lord will lead you to someone that is not selfish and will love to interact with you.
    πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

    ReplyDelete
  11. Face front I beg . his not serious

    ReplyDelete
  12. Me I believe any relationship that keeps going on and off is not a relationship worth having, long distance is not enough reason for a relationship to keep having hiccups. It simply means at least one party isn't fully invested in the relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  13. He made up that story of his parents not wanting another child so they treat him anyhow. Just move on

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He has emotional issues you CANNOT SOLVE

      Delete
    2. guys with emotional issues are the hardest to love o. even if they wan change that trauma will cause them to self-sabotage any good thing in their life. They feel they don't deserve better so there is very little u can do to help them. to avoid wasting your life, love yourself and move on from this man

      Delete
  14. "He's from a family where he's not close with his parents and siblings at all, right from time, they treated him like a mistake child cos they weren't expecting anymore child".


    At the point when you begin to legitimize a man's evil treatment of you, you have just decided to be their dumping site for whatever emotional flotsam and jetsam they choose to mount on you. This may sound brutal yet that unflattering part of his life isn't your problem and not yours to manage. You are the one living in the shadow of his past and not him else you wouldn't feel it is your responsibility to pay for whatever childhood trauma he experienced. The onus is on whoever chooses to be in a relationship with another to work through whatever emotional garbage they may convey before taking the plunge with a potential love interest. This is intended to be a romantic relationship and you are not his therapist. You can't fix a man. A man should fix himself before he approaches you. On the off chance that he comes to you without putting forth an attempt to be desirable to you, that says a lot regarding how he perceives you and it likewise enlightens him concerning how much you value yourself. Plus, I find it hard to remark a chronicle when the woman begins by making ridiculous excuses for a hot and cold man since I typically wonder where to start from. The signs are everywhere that he doesn't want nor care about you. Consistency is a colossal indication of a man who is genuinely invested in you but this man here couldn't care less if another man snags you up right from under his nose. To him you're not a price yet you keep proving him right even though he is wrong. Do you honestly think he doesn't have the foggiest idea of what he is doing or he is truly ignorant about how his non- challant behaviour affects you? Let him go and please next time before you get a man's love make sure you get his respect first! Have limits a man should never cross and stick to it. Do not let any sign of disrespect be it in words or actions be overlooked, nip it in the bud fast. You let this back and forth persists for too long. It should never have happened. He ghosted you, then he never existed in the first place. You see him in school afterwards, he tries to say hi, you act shocked because you saw an alien and you know you have never crossed a path with this random guy trying to act all fresh with you. That was what you should have done. Did you do not want to let him go? The power isn't in your hand anymore to decide...He already left you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Listen to your heart

    ReplyDelete
  16. Replies
    1. or he doesn't like her. either way she is gonna waste her time sticking around with such a guy. currently involved with someone like that but making plans to relocate for my studies abroad unbeknownst to him. Those type of guys either don't see you as their compatible wife, don't see your value or they are just emotionally broken from a past trauma or heartbreak. that's just life and it's okay. There is someone out there for all of us, if we believe it and know our worth.
      Either way, poster it is not your job to fix him or play mommy to him. Ask him to pray to Jesus and seek therapy. the only thing you can help him do is pray but that's about it. the change will have to come from within him. He will not change for you. Men change because they want to or when they realize they have found a good woman worth changing for. No woman can change a man. So unless you're ready to drag on emotionally with this man for yrs and he hope he finally sees that you're valuable then I suggest you leave him to his devices

      Delete
  17. Poster Face your studies and make platonic friends..If you continue wondering like this, you find yourself carrying over like Atlas...Relationships while schooling is a distraction. Ma fo and face your books..Why are you guys playing ''ten ten'' like this..This is not a relationship at all, both of you need a lot of growing up..Allow him be, I think he has another sherikoko but he no wan tell you...Face your life oh and be intentional ok..All the best..

    ReplyDelete
  18. poster, u know u are making too many excuses for this guy. handwriting is on the wall but u have to be willing to accept it. a GUY WHO LOVES YOU will be willing to overcome any of his issues to be with u ad avoid losing you. al these times he ghosts u he is giving u space to meet someone new but it's like ur not getting it

    ReplyDelete
  19. It is Child's play that you people are doing. Concentrate on your books Dear. So many other men will come and go. For now it should be your books abeg

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh dear,I can understand how you feel.First love is always hard to let go.But you see my dear,you will look back in future and wonder what made you hang in for too long.You have to let him go,he is giving you stress and distracting you from your studies.Pray about it if you must,so that God will give you the courage you need to let go.Stay with other friends and be conscious about removing him from your heart.Whats the point in loving someone who doesn't love you as much?His background is not his problem dear,he just doesn't love you as much.You can't just force these things..if it's not there,it's not,no matter how hard you try.Concentrate on your studies and have an open mind.The one that will love you as much as you deserve to be loved will come and you will be happy in the end.God bless you Sis.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Poster you deserve better and you know it. Don't allow yourself to be used in this matter, any day he decides to come back after fooling around, he knows you will always accept him back.

    Biko concentrate on your studies and leave relationships for now..

    ReplyDelete
  22. This is what I will tell my family : Focus on your education and goals. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  23. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
    Poster. Remember that you’re in school to get training and a degree, not to be a girlfriend, mother, sounding board or therapist.
    Leave that child alone for his mother or family to handle and face your studies.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Poster, all i will say is don't waste your fertile childbearing years on a man who may not even mature to see your value at the end of it all. You don't wanna be that woman crying over a man who dated her for years only to marry a woman he met after a few months.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Poster, are you a therapist or are you JEHOVAH? If you are neither then there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do to change or help this man but walk away and be praying for him from afar.

    ReplyDelete
  26. This is a situationship not a relationship.. move ahead!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Lol even with allnthese advice, she will still go back to him. Good luck. Don't come back crying again.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Please use your tongue to count your teeth.
    Quit that situation you are in, cos as harsh this might sound he's just not into you.
    Channel all these energy you are putting in analysing his family upbringing and all whatnot, into your studies, and see you flourishing.

    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Poster give him some space, time to allow him think. Is possible your guy found another girl better than you and he is trying to check you both which is better.

    Don't always be available for him, don't be available when he feels you are the only option left. Time to face front and ignore him a little.

    Mind you some guys cannot keep distance relationship, once they cannot see you is to move to another person.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Concentrate on your studies for now and forget about that guy,try to give other guys chance , don't put all your mind in this your guy,it is too early for you to be this kind of situationship.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Listen to Stella's advice and face your studies.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Moody guys are the worst human beings to be in a relationship with .Nobody has time for mood swings . Run before he destroys your mental health .

    ReplyDelete

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