It is a must read interview.
Interviewer: You talked about how you were married at an early age, what led to that? was that a decision you made for yourself.
Patience: It was my parents decision, I came from a polygamous home, where my mother's mates daughters were getting married and she also wanted hers (daughters) to get married. Then the one who presented himself, they said they couldn't wait for my love. I was forced into married that's it,
Interviewer : What was the experience like being Married so young
Patience: It was horrible, our own time, you don't decide who marries you, anybody can arrange it, once your parents have accepted then you are in for it.
Interviewr: Was it an experience where you grew into loving your husband or was just a companionship.
Patience: Both, Because when you try to please your parents.. in our family you don't come back from your husband's place, you have to stay manage it make the best out of it. So when I came in I saw what was involved I had to put my head because I didn't want to disappoint my father who loved me so much so I stayed back. In my place it's not easy for you to abandon your children, and leave.. so I had to stay. the reason I stayed was to please my family, secondly to take care of my children. so whether there was love or not but doesn't matter.
Interviewer: You talked about your commitment and needs to take care of your children , was what inspired you to find what ever you could lay your hands on. Where did you find that resilience to raise your children while you were in so many ways also the financial head of the family.
Patience: when you discover that the man is already sick with some terminal and circular diseases , you may even have to battle with training the children and also helping him out. He is your husband, you can't deny it. You must do your duties as a wife and coming from a Christian background, divorce is not allowed, that also gave me the courage to do what I did. I remember the first time he recovered from coma he said if anybody told him I would be able to take care of him like that he wouldnt believe I asked why? but you are my husband. Everybody thought at a time I would walk out of the Marriage but I couldn't Because I had my family to protect and children to care for.
Interviewer: What are your thoughts on the way marriages are appearing to seem, do you feel like there is a room for change or you prefer this new generation where people have their own agencies to pick and choose how they marry
Patience: That is not Marriage for me, that is just relationship that could be broken anytime. For me, Marriage is forever until death do us part and that's the way i brought up my children and that's what I'm looking out for. By God's grace with prayers it's working out for me. What we have today baffles me, and I feel for their children because I don't know how they would learn something better from their parents. We are praying for this generation and the generations to come, that is our duties as good mothers, because without our prayers what you see today is a child's play in the future. it will be worst and that is what I don't want to hear. I don't want my generation yet to come to have such problems so I start today to pray for it
Patience: It was my parents decision, I came from a polygamous home, where my mother's mates daughters were getting married and she also wanted hers (daughters) to get married. Then the one who presented himself, they said they couldn't wait for my love. I was forced into married that's it,
Interviewer : What was the experience like being Married so young
Patience: It was horrible, our own time, you don't decide who marries you, anybody can arrange it, once your parents have accepted then you are in for it.
Interviewr: Was it an experience where you grew into loving your husband or was just a companionship.
Patience: Both, Because when you try to please your parents.. in our family you don't come back from your husband's place, you have to stay manage it make the best out of it. So when I came in I saw what was involved I had to put my head because I didn't want to disappoint my father who loved me so much so I stayed back. In my place it's not easy for you to abandon your children, and leave.. so I had to stay. the reason I stayed was to please my family, secondly to take care of my children. so whether there was love or not but doesn't matter.
Interviewer: You talked about your commitment and needs to take care of your children , was what inspired you to find what ever you could lay your hands on. Where did you find that resilience to raise your children while you were in so many ways also the financial head of the family.
Patience: when you discover that the man is already sick with some terminal and circular diseases , you may even have to battle with training the children and also helping him out. He is your husband, you can't deny it. You must do your duties as a wife and coming from a Christian background, divorce is not allowed, that also gave me the courage to do what I did. I remember the first time he recovered from coma he said if anybody told him I would be able to take care of him like that he wouldnt believe I asked why? but you are my husband. Everybody thought at a time I would walk out of the Marriage but I couldn't Because I had my family to protect and children to care for.
Interviewer: What are your thoughts on the way marriages are appearing to seem, do you feel like there is a room for change or you prefer this new generation where people have their own agencies to pick and choose how they marry
Patience: That is not Marriage for me, that is just relationship that could be broken anytime. For me, Marriage is forever until death do us part and that's the way i brought up my children and that's what I'm looking out for. By God's grace with prayers it's working out for me. What we have today baffles me, and I feel for their children because I don't know how they would learn something better from their parents. We are praying for this generation and the generations to come, that is our duties as good mothers, because without our prayers what you see today is a child's play in the future. it will be worst and that is what I don't want to hear. I don't want my generation yet to come to have such problems so I start today to pray for it
Interesting read.
ReplyDeleteA child should never be forced to marry someone he/she doesn't love.
However, I noted that she never said her husband was a bad man. With understanding and patience, they weathered the storms. She weighed the effect(s) it would have on her children, so she decided to put in her best to make it work.
We should also take that message. Provided domestic violence and gross infidelity isn't involved, we (male and female) should learn to be patient. When there are kids involved, I believe their interests should also be considered before taking a drastic decision.
In all, we should be all be wary of "Divorce" advice that are always being dished everywhere on social media. A marriage should never be reduced to a "mere" reationship.
A single infidelity is enough to attract demons, pregnancy outside, blackmail, spiritual baggage, diseases
DeleteIt starts from single to "gross"
For me cheating/infidelity and domestic violence are the only reason I defend women divorcing because that is the reason why I would divorce too.
DeleteBut young people these days,any little inconvenience,they want divorce.
I think most of the time, it's the children that compensates a woman that experienced Early marriage especially a forced one where you have no choice
ReplyDeleteThis their generation sef...
ReplyDeleteI prefer it than what is happening now. Any little hiccup marriage now has packed up. It can be as little as a wife got fat or the husband snores or he didnt give you money for iphone.
DeleteLittle things you can work on, marriage is broken.
So you prefer bad marriage to divorce. Divorce that the bible condones under infidelity
DeleteThey didn't have a choice
ReplyDeleteThis generation does
How they use that choice is a different matter altogether
Marriage takes a lot to make it work
Both MALE and Female have to be committed to making it work
There are behaviour expectations from both sides now unlike before
While reading what she said, read what she didn't say.
ReplyDeleteI am sure if she is in our generation, she would have reconsidered that marriage.
Her husband didn't know she would care for him when he was in coma, why?
So many backstories.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Exactly. She was very careful about her words. She didn't want to throw him under the bus. He must have treated her badly for him and others to have thought that she would walk away when he was ill
DeleteShe never took care of him. It's all lies. When he finally died she was not home, she was called in to sign over the corpse at the mortuary.
DeleteShe left after and continued her acting, he was in the mortuary for months.
His two kids that fought her for years what was the hatred, she abandoned their dad.
Welcome from Ngwo.
DeleteWe know the koko na!!
Marriage na wa
ReplyDeleteBiko, we do we die there marriage o. Domestic violence and community penis husband should getat
ReplyDelete
DeleteBiko, we do we die there marriage o. Domestic violence and community pussy wife should getat
Good one from Madam Patience Ozokwor
ReplyDeleteIt is clearly obvious that the marriage wasn't a good one,she wasn't happy there.
ReplyDeleteJust like my mum,she was forced to marry my dad,it wasn't a sweet one too but she stayed cos of us.we the children witness the everyday fight and quarrel,it wasn't a good site.
Abeg this generation marriage is the best biko,if u aren't happy pack ur load and Waka.
There's a lot hidden in her choice of words.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you ma..
ReplyDelete