Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Lady Shares Horrible Domestic Violence Story On Her Wedding Anniversary With New Husband.

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Monday, May 17, 2021

Lady Shares Horrible Domestic Violence Story On Her Wedding Anniversary With New Husband.

 ''I am sharing this story to encourage every divorcee out there.

I am also sharing this so that those of you who derive joy in shaming single mothers can keep shut cos you're not God. ...''







She says

''I am sharing this story to encourage every divorcee out there.
I am also sharing this so that those of you who derive joy in shaming single mothers can keep shut cos you're not God
I am a survivor of domestic violence; After 9years with 3 children and repeated attempts to escape, I left with nothing but my 3 children on the morning of August 26th 1998 at the age of 28.

We were basically homeless squatters because no one wanted to accommodate a mother and three children especially that my vindictive ex-husband was threatening those trying to help me and kids with police arrest and accusing any male helper of being my lover.


Everyone was understandably being careful not to get involved.
There were no mobile phones and social media in 1998 to even reach out for help from organizations that can help.
My ex husband was a pastor and his friend, my dad, was superintendent of police and divisional crime officer DCO as at then.

No one wanted family/police wahala most especially since my dad was strongly against divorce.
So my children and I ended up living in a small church in Alagbado and the pastor used to put a tray down and urge members to contribute what he tagged Mercy fund for us.


Some members took turns bringing us food and clothes for a month then we moved in with my younger sister in Ago palace way Okota Isolo for the period it took my elder sisters to go plead with my father to let me return to his residence in Ekpoma. (The reason being that my father said he gave me out to his friend at 19 and vowed that no matter how badly I was treated I must stay married till death do us part, that if ever I disobeyed him and leave, I should go into hotel and prostitute rather than bring him the shame of being parent of a divorcee...story for another day).


My divorce was filed 1998 and final in March 19th 2000-bride price was returned.
I was 30, a high school cert holder.I decided to go back to school for my dream career-a lawyer with lots of help from Angels I met along the way.
I got my LL.B law Bachelors degree from Ekpoma, went to look for job in lagos and got a receptionist offer from an oil servicing firm in Victoria Island. Then I enrolled for my Master's degree at Unilag Akoka after attending lagos campus law school and got called to the bar. I became secretary/legal adviser of my company.
I always wanted to remarry eventually.


But being divorced with 3 children makes it twice harder, some men feel they're doing you a favor because you're a divorcee with children termed "baggages". Others couldn't even consider marriage at all, they wanted me as mistress or side chick.

I started praying for a life partner, don't get me wrong, I wasn't a saint.
I just wanted God to settle me and my children and surprise all them naysayers and haters.


So whenever there was an altar call for single needing a spouse and I joined to come out, there were lots of hush gossips and laughter and smirks about me. Some told me to my face to forget marriage and go back to my ex or become second wife.


The Pastor didn't agree with me, he said God hated divorce I should go back to my ex-husband and be praying for him as a woman of virtue.
Everytime I heard that, I changed church. I don't want to be 'a woman of virtue'.

During the period of working and doing my Master's in Law at Akoka, one day, after midnight of March 16th 2008,I slept and dreamt I was in an empty courtroom approaching the judge but the seat was empty and a man in brown suit was standing facing the judge and someone behind me said that’s your “husband”!


He was turning to look at me as I tried to see his face I woke up.


As a single mom/parent since my divorced with 3 kids the past 10 years (1998-2008) I had been praying for a good man to remarry but my options was narrow due to my predicament and the society/church always reminds me of that.
But I just knew I wanted to get married again and experience love.


Anyway, Irked by the useless dream I got on my knees and bind and cast my dream ‘spirit marine husband' as my mom calls such.
I got back on the bed awaiting sleep when my phone beeped around after 1am. I looked, it was an email dated March 17th 2008. I thought no need to waste my data, I'll read it when I go to work in the morning.


At work I opened the email it was from Him who was to become my husband.(copy of the email below)
Back in 2007 December my now husband said he dreamt in the US; he saw a pretty fair lady who told him she’ll marry him. He called his family in Nigeria when he woke up and they told him to pray against spirit wife and familiar spirit.



On that Sunday 16th March 2008 he was having conversations with his friend who happens to be my cousin in California also about his spirit wife dream and said he hopes to find a good wife eventually, my cousin then remembered my younger sisters who were single in Lagos and told him he has some single pretty cousins he can introduce to him. Because my cousin didn’t have pictures of my two single sisters alone, he sent the Easter one we all took together and when my husband saw the pictures he said he recognized me as the lady he dreamt of-The "marine-spirit wife"


he then sent me the email I saw 1am cos of time difference and decided to read when I got to work. I read it and ignored.

He sent a second email.

When he said: "you're the woman of my dreams" in my mind I said "abia!" Story story!

He sent more emails and asked for my number. We got chatting.
He proposed during one of those chats i said yes and told me he was coming to marry me in May.

On May 8th 2008 he came; I went to pick him up at Muritala international arrival and met him in person for the first time ever after several emails and yahoo messenger chats.

Exactly 8 days after (shortest courtship ever) on the 16h of May 2008 we had a shotgun wedding.

That was exactly 13 years ago today.

We still call each other crazy and desperate for the hasty nuptials.
I still love Idris Elba and Denzel Washington and our Naija Phyno.

He is still planning to run off and marry Diana Ross and loves Mariah Carey, Serena Williams and Taraji P Henson (why else do you think I hate those bitches?!) but we’re still together, crazy and happy; laugh over irrelevant things and share gossips like barrack housewives.


It’s been rocky crazy good and fun!
No regrets.


My ex-husband who was so sure I'll be back on my knees begging with my children because no one will marry me and when I get overwhelmed with cost of raising 3 children I'll return and those men who acted like I wasn't good enough for them are all occupying my timeline everytime I post pictures shouting wawu wawu like ambulance.

Dia fada! (Their dads)

Happy wedding anniversary to us.
Believe in your dreams.
It is not over until God says so.
If you want it bad enough you’ll get it (whatever "IT" is for you all, I hope this encourages you)

Thanks for reading''
Shared on facebook by Elizabeth Omonigho Asekome

56 comments:

  1. Nice one. So happy for you.

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    Replies
    1. She is truely happy. I can smell her happiness from here. Congratulations madam.

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    2. "If you want it bad enough, you will get it"...true as the gospel itself.

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    3. Happy Anniversary to a brilliant lawyer and author of colourless rainbow. Thank you for your doggedness in ending an abusive marriage and for your faith in God.

      Congratulations!!!

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    4. The woman's pictures, hmmmmmm. She is a beauty to behold, even after 4 children.

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    5. My oh my!!! I just Google her and I'm impressed at her doggedness. Look all she went on to achieve. I bet if she was still with that man, OND cert, she for never get!

      Marriage to the wrong man is indeed road block to a woman's destiny.

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    6. The woman is so so pretty...I read the story on Facebook with her pictures attached. Thank God she found true love

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  2. So happy you found true love at the end of the day😍😍

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    Replies
    1. Your footnote says it all...What I saw is that people do court wedding and get certificate, yet na Pastor go dey tell you to chook head in the marriage..I am happy you were very stubborn for doing what you wanted...Wonderful news

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  3. Happy Wedding Anniversary! God still performs miracles

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  4. What a deep and encouraging post
    There is always light at the end of the tunnel no matter how dark it seems right now, God eventually comes through.

    That's alot of persistence perservance.

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  5. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ˜£

    I remember this face

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  6. You will not see those women haters and their apologists on this post.

    Pastors and family members who ask people to stay in unfortunate situations in the name of marriage, y'all deserve a personal space in hell.

    Happy wedding anniversary to the couple

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    Replies
    1. Don't get carried away, abeg. Hell for what? Pls explain the fact that God hates divorce. Honestly I'd really like that Scripture well expounded. I blv in seperating oneself from an abusive spouse, nevertheless but remarriage is a no.

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    2. Anon, that's for u. One should not live her life alone (if she so desires) just because she married an idiot for a husband

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    3. Nobody said the Christian journey doesn't come with a cross. That's assuming she's a Christian. This generation wants it all 'sugar & spice'. 'Doesn't work that way.

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  7. I trust my Ma'am Stella, you got the real owner of the story right. Correct blogger per excellence. Not others that are rushing to copy and paste without due credit to the real owner.

    Thanks Ma'am Stella.

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  8. Omg. God’s ways ain’t ours at all. I’m so happy for her gosh! Happy anniversary to them.

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  9. Omg. God’s ways ain’t ours at all. I’m so happy for her gosh! Happy anniversary to them.

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  10. Beautiful story, it was all over facebook yesterday. She is a lucky, strong and blessed woman

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  11. Beautiful Me🧑17 May 2021 at 12:24

    Beautiful story with beautiful ending..
    Congratulations

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  12. The church must do better for women . If Jesus was here do you think he will sneer as they did to her? Women love the church but does the church love women? I am glad she found her hearts desire and I hope her story encourages someone that that abusive marriage/relationship should not be settled for.

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    Replies
    1. My sister thank you oh...You contracted your marriage in court when it should be the law that will have a say na one pastor go dey tell you to settle for less...I just love her stubborness jare..

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  13. This was her real husband.

    The society and most preachers should try and see beyond the ordinary.

    Being virtuous is not to be abused by a spouse or taking all the abuse of a spouse.

    To all men out there, marrying a divorce or baby mama is not you doing them a favor... They are the one doing you a favor by giving you listening ears.

    Our mentality as a people just have to change.

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  14. This is so beautiful!!! Congrats and happy anniversary.

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  15. God bless your home ma'am.
    God is always faithful, God bless your home πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

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  16. Reading thing like this, gives one the courage to hope more on God. God I'm an introvert, I don't know how to start going to parties, weddings to see that man. The God that connect people. Let my husband finds me. I need a testimony before this month is over. Amen

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    Replies
    1. Me sef na introvert and i got married this year. met my husband online and built the friendship for many months. Try to make friends at work, after church dont rush home, register for gym. Go for weddings, birthday parties. I did all these but God said my own no be from there e go come. Be very intentional and strategise.

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    2. Pls anon 14:35 can you give more tips on this online dating thing? I have tried to be more social, though not naturally so and it hasn't been working for me.

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    3. I didn't really do online dating per say. We met on Tinder and became friends afterwards.

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    4. Anon 14:49, be very careful of that dating site she mentioned here "tinder". I know someone who met a man there, they got married and u don't wantnto know what she found out later. I read people's testimony about samendating site. Try and be guided o.

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    5. Anon 14:49 is right. Tinder is not it. It’s Full of fu*k boy/ men.

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    6. That’s not exactly true. I know a good number of people who have met their husbands or partners on dating apps. I for one met my loving partner of over 3 years on the app called Bumble. There are bad eggs online just as there are in real life. You just need to do your due diligence as you normally would.

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  17. Beautiful story....may God continue to bless your home.

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  18. Hmmm...it's not every man or woman you see in dream is "spiritual husband or wife".

    I don't even know the origin of this "spiritual husband and wife".

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    Replies
    1. Doctrines of men, to create fear, that's where that 'spiritual husband' stuff came from.

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  19. My God! This is why I detest religion, it binds you, subjects you to self-hate,punishes you for daring to raise your voice as a woman, etc.. This is what I call liberation by Christ Himself and not our religious pharisees some of whom we have on this blog.. Indeed God is not man! Enjoy your Marriage, Elizabeth!

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  20. Poster pls take disπŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

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  21. Very encouraging story . Happy anniversary to them.

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  22. I would like to know how her father felt then and how he is reacting seeing her fulfilled and happy.

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  23. This was a lovely read. I will cherish my husband henceforth.

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  24. I wish you and your husband everlasting joy ma'am. All the battered, longsuffering wives of closet monsters, shebi una don see am? Una don see as woman wey wan live longer to help her children's future dey act? Na the former husband and his supporters shame dey catch now.

    And to all the assistant Jesus dem, when Jesus met that woman by the well, he told her she had married four husbands already and that the man she was doing live-in-lover with (man #5) was not her husband. Meaning dem go still break up. I believe her life took a great turn from that day and she probably met "her rightful husband" after that personal encounter with Jesus. Why didn't Jesus tell her not to leave the current man (to die there) or to go and settle with one of her ex-husbands because God hates divorce? Una think say una wise pass Jesus abi?

    God that said He hates divorce did not factor in all these Naija sons of lucifer o. He was talking to the Israelis who took good care of their wives, worked hard, protected their families and [mostly] practiced polygamy. The same Bible says you should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. A man who does not love his wife like Christ loves the church is an infidel. Leave his wicked, lying, lazy ass and pray and work for a better life and union with a normal human being. This is for those who are fed up with cohabiting with demons in the name of marriage. Leave to live a better life or die there as "just another unfortunate statistic". E no kuku concern buhari and APC.

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    Replies
    1. U are ready to assume that she went ahead to meet another 'rightful' husband but not that she joined all the Samaritans that repented on account of that encounter, to turn a new leaf? Why would the Lord Jesus even need to tell her not to leave a man she's not even married to? Invariably, u are asking if He told her to remain in a fornicating union. How exactly is that possible? Then to say that God did not factor in certain Nigerian men in stating that He hates divorce is blasphemous in itself, except it's not the Omniscient God u are referring to. Pls let's not allow ourselves to be blinded to the truth in our bid to justify our preferred lifestyles. Much as we all generally desire the crown, let us ask God to help us bear our crosses. He will not give us more than we can shoulder.

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    2. 17:39 πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

      Imagine saying God did not factor something. Which hand sef you take type such a comment? O ga o

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  25. indeed God works in a glorious way, His moves are so awesome.

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  26. indeed God works in a glorious way, His moves are so awesome.

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  27. Simply Amazing! I hope anyone who needs encouragement finds it through this post.

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  28. I'm happy for you madam. Congratulations

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  29. God gave you a husband because domestic violence is "marital unfaithfulness" for which he said
    a lady shall/can divorce her husband
    See the Scriptures; Mark 10,
    Husbands ought to love their wives. No one beats their body but cares for it...Ephesians 5:28-29

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    Replies
    1. To begin with, the exception in the matter of divorce which the Lord Jesus mentioned, is the ground of 'adultery'. That is the expression used and not 'marital unfaithfulness', to my understanding. They are two different expressions. Let's not deceive ourselves.

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    2. @22:00
      You totally ignored the Scriptures I wrote up there and was quoting who?
      So if the man commits adultery and he beats his wife to death, which is
      more grievous and gruesome?
      A woman the husband cheated can decide to leave; right?
      The one the husband beat to death has gone into eternity; heaven or hell, right?
      Check these Scriptures for more; Col. 3:5, Eph. 5:5 and see the definition of idolatry/adultery.
      God's Grace.

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  30. Omg........Tears rolled down my eyes reading this as this is my exact story. Been in an abusive marriage for 7years and in 2019, I said ENOUGH is ENOUGH leaving with my 3kids. I said to myself, I will never return back to egypt, God has been faithful, since i left that marriage, it has been one good story to the other. Poster, your testimony is an encouragement to me, God will come through for me, He will give me a match, A man who will love me and my kids as well, I deserve a good man because I am a good woman, I love marriage but never knew I will not enjoy mine. God you will bless me because I believe that in my lifetime I will enjoy the beauty of the kind of marriage you had in mind when creating it. Dear poster, I am super happy for me as i trust God for myself because what God cannot do does not exist.

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  31. Amazing God, I'm so happy for you.
    Happy anniversary and may God continue to bless your home

    ReplyDelete

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