Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
COLD FEET MEETING THE FUTURE MOTHER IN LAW..
I am in a relationship and I want to know who is supposed to initiate communication with the guys family...
I am in a relationship and I want to know who is supposed to initiate communication with the guys family...
My boyfriend is saying that he's disturbed that I've not for once asked to speak to his mom and even when he asked me to talk with her on phone I declined.
Won't it seem like I'm trying to force myself on her.? I don't want to be disrespectful nor seem desperate.?
No, you will not appear desperate if you say hello to your mans mum on the phone.it is even worse if he calls you to come and say hello and you decline.
Stop feeling so out of place and enjoy your relationship.... It will cost you nothing to speak with his mum...If she notices you don't want to talk with her is where the problem is.......
It looks like he shares a bond with his mum, play along with him cos it looks like he is trying to get you both acquainted...
Chai this one come join chronicles
ReplyDeleteGo ahead and speak to his mom if he asks you to, it won't make you look desperate.
DeleteLmao @yori.. I tire ooooo
DeleteAunty your man did the right tin by asking u to speak to his mom. Wat is there. Hello ma! How are u. Nice speaking with u. Dats all. She might ask u few questions and u guys will talk better wen u finally met in person??
DeleteAbi how u want make d poor guy initiate am again. Maybe u dnt love him thou.
If he ask you to say hello, why not? Collect the phone and hello her
ReplyDeleteIt shows he really cares about you
What's this one saying? Can't you just speak normally to her on the phone? LIFE IS NOT THAT COMPLICATED,MA'AM
ReplyDeleteWait. Lemme understand.
ReplyDeleteYouv'e refused to call her, despite his insistence. He gives you the phone to talk to her, you also decline.
You want the Mother to call you first and greet you specially...as Queen of England that you are na.
Tomorrow, you'll say Mother In Law doesn't like you, whereas you were the one that fired the first shots.
Calm down. Not every one is comfortable communicating with their boyfriend/girlfriend's family members especially when they haven't been dating for long. Besides, the poster clearly stated she's worried she would seem desperate, hence her hesitation.
DeleteHave been there before.
ReplyDeleteMy dear talk to the mum on phone.
Stop running.
Men like it when you are cordial with thier mum and siblings.
Talking to the mum won't make you feel desperate or less human.
My dear just go with the flow.
ReplyDeleteHas this guy proposed to you and you accepted?
If not, you are just a friend, even an acquittance perhaps.
If you are engaged to him, he should schedule to take you to introduce to his family, not a phone call.
And he should introduce you as "financee"; the lady he wants to get married to.
Exactly so!
DeleteI wonder how she should be engaged already to someone who's family she has no idea about/hasn't met at all. I'm not sure this sits well with me.
Delete@Anon 15:07, exactly, such chitchats only matters when your relationship has deepened & has a future. On another note, what are you jittery about, don’t form any mindset about his mum alright, get to know her first. She might be very welcoming. Take it easy.
DeleteWhenever a lady says, "I don't want to appear to be desperate" or "I am not desperate about marriage"
ReplyDeleteYou want to know the truth?
She is?
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Not true. Ladies who are desperate won't say it. Besides, they won't even send this chronicle as they would have pushed boo so they can meet the mother by now.
DeleteUnless you are engaged I don't see that it is necessary for you to seek out his mother. It is for him to take you and introduce you to his parents and show you where he grew up. You don't need to ask him these things, if he is serious about you he will automatically do it when it feels right for him.
ReplyDeleteI want to agree with you anonymous. It's not straight forward. Poster if you are a very emotional person, please don't on his terms. My cousin would insist you separate family from your relationship, until the coordinates are locked in. Let him propose first, then you can start joining families into it. Else it's not necessary, at this phase.
DeleteSome guys use this format to hold down very emotional ladies, while not wanting anything sincere with them but fun. While the lady is seeing "us" he on the other hand is just cruising.
But you can collect the mother's number and call her on your timing. Have the discussion about how much he has talked about your relationship with his mother, before smartly deciding to.
But if you are not the emotional type, nothing do you. Just say your hello. But don't be blinded by it though. Just know that this guy might be o.e who is very close to his mother.
Stop overthinking things, declining to talk to his mom on the phone is already kinda disrespectful esp if she’s aware that you were being called.
ReplyDeleteGo with the flow, a little phone conversation for a start then things will progress organically.
I advise you just try to get to know his mum, from the looks of it she's very important to him, there's no harm in it..
ReplyDeleteHmm
ReplyDeleteMy dear if you truly want to be married into the family, the least you can do is to say hello to your would be mother in law, if not you'd start a problem that will have no end. Assume she is a nice woman.
ReplyDeleteRelate with her with a clear mind.
Yes ooo. If i was the mother i would find it really difficult to warm to the poster if i knew she refused to even say hello to me.
DeleteSeems u are having second thoughts about the guy or don't really like him. Or ur not comfortable with his background cus if not u will rush to talk to her without question sef
ReplyDeleteWhenever things that are supposed to happen naturally in a relationship become issues,that’s a major red flag.
ReplyDeleteNot talking to the woman is disrespectful o.
ReplyDeleteDo you, don't pretend, be yourself because when you pretend and change after marriage, that is were wahala use to originate from
ReplyDeletePoster u are just overthinking,be free and enjoy ur relationship,even if u are dating him and he hasn’t proposed yet it’s not a crime to greet his mum if he calls her and he wants u to say hello to her.just know how to place urself and don’t call her on ur own .
ReplyDeleteTake things easy, be yourself. A little conversation with your would be mother won't hurt, except you're looking at something else.
ReplyDeleteTalk to her on phone if he is on call with her,don't be scared of what is not uncertain.
ReplyDeleteAah ah! madamu biko stop declining. It seems rude, just try and do it, it might seem bumpy and choking the first and second tym, but i bet u, u will start flowing with her soon. She might even be among the best women on earth. Grab the opportunity and get to know her.
ReplyDeleteHow will u feel if he declines ur mother's call.
Poster there is nothing wrong in speaking to your would be mother in law especially when your man is the one asking you to speak with her. Why will you decline talking to his mother except you have another intention.
ReplyDeleteMy dear collect the phone and speak with her.....she wants to atleast know who her son is dating, its not a crime
ReplyDeleteIf I am the guy ,I will dump you ASAP,I pray he dumbs you .two of you don't align on same issues,finding it hard to communicate with his mum or making this an issue shows you not on same page and that's the mistake most couples make.both of you should be on same page on everything!
ReplyDeleteWell, I dont agree with you, that you want to marry someone doesnt mean you will.agree on everything, even twins view some things differently. I feel the poster is shy and doesnt want to be seen as rushing the man.
DeletePoster you can greet her over the.phone since your boyfriend wants that unless if u are still getting to.know the guy, then it will feel awkward being asked speak with his mom
Adaugo you don't seems to get and that's the mistake most people make.as intending couple you must have same thought pattern on everything,relationship,love,money,spirituality and all.if I as aguy don't give a fuck about inlaws I should also to vibe with a lady that have same mindset that way peace reigns...if I as a guy believes in spending on necessity,I should be able to go stuck with women that belive in spending on necessity...if I as agiy is the family oriented,I should also desire a woman that thinks towards that direction,by so doing marriage is easy and no much tension or serious issues because for most part,both couples are naturally on same frequency!
Delete20:53, I understand your point. But you are not entirely right. Opposite attract too and work well. Some people love who is on the other side of their thoughts. They get well rounded decisions with love. Not just being stuck on the familiar
DeleteIf I may ask, at what point do you want to feel vulnerable and "look desperate" in that relationship? After he has proposed to you without you meeting his family /mum?
ReplyDelete