Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Saturday, October 16, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmm....








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HEAVY HEART NEEDS URGENT ADVICE  



Stella and my dear BVs , I write this with a heavy heart and I need your advice urgently.


I reside outside the country at the moment and I have a child here under 10 yrs that stays with one of my siblings. She used to be with my Mom but due to old age she wasn’t able to take care of her and this my sibling volunteered to take her in. In fact She went and took her from my other sibling where she was staying initially.


I’ve been told by my four other siblings that my child was not been treated well and sometimes maltreated and that I should take her away but as at now that’s not possible because there’s no other place for her to stay (long story).


I came visiting a while back and although I noticed that there was a kind of mild aggression towards her I overlooked it and kept quiet. Then a particular day, my child spoilt something in the house and before you know it I heard noises and while wondering what was going on, I later discovered she was slapped several times( About 7 times) .


Now, I am a disciplinarian but I don’t think I will ever slap a child up to 7 times even if a TV set was broken. (That wasn’t what she spoilt). I will rather punish the child by asking them to frog jump while holding the ears for a long time or some other form of punishment.


Now I’m beginning to see what my other siblings have been hinting me, and I would have returned my child to my other sibling but who knows also what will go on behind closed doors.


Even after the several slaps, I still punished my child because I know what she did was wrong and I explained the reason why she was being punished and why she mustn’t touch other people’s things. I then asked her to apologize.


I’m thinking of taking this up between the two of us ( of course without the kids knowledge) as I feel this is borderline violence to a child, as her children are not treated same way. I know it will cause serious rift as she’s doing me a favor but I feel I shouldn’t let this slide otherwise it will continue to happen.


I don’t see myself treating any of my nephews or nieces this was( I am sure they can attest to it and I’m kind of disappointed this is happening. Not really related to the story but I think I should mention that these are people I assist financially with school fees, house rents and maintenance regularly aside the upkeep for my child.

Should I just keep quiet as not to ruffle feathers as I’m trying to create the best environment for my child pending when I return cos I’m thinking the maltreatment may increase but I’ll also think I’ll be doing myself and my child a great disservice if I fail to take action. Please advise me my dear BVs.

Ps- I changed some info to create anonymity.

Thank you Stella.





There is no easy way to this oh....You have to choose!
If you dont talk, your child continues suffering....
If you talk, the suffering increases and who knows may be she is also being abused s3xually as well...
Take your child away from that environment as soon as possible!!!

129 comments:

  1. Madam why not take your child with you. Imagine you asking what to do. It is better she stay with you and eat whatever thing you eat. You want to mess up this girl childhood .
    If truly you care about her, you will look for away to stay close to your child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a stupid mother, since you have given me no justifiable reason why your sister who is wicked has your child. You sit where u are, leave the responsibility of raising your child to your sister who everyone has told you is wicked, but rather than do something to protect your child from abuse, you lazily continue to play calm. She did not beg to be born, and as such she comes first before whatever long story excuse you have. Do something and don't just sit still. You have a responsibility to that child forget if your sister is helping you out or not. Get her out of that house and whatever arrangement you are making in that abroad u stay must include her.

      Delete
    2. Radiant, you're so right. The girl child must be protected at all costs. Poster, if your present life and environment is unsafe for your girl please try to adjust your life. Its not easy. All the best.

      Delete
    3. Tiana don't mind her
      Maybe she has married one abroad man and she did not tell that one that she has a child or maybe the abroad husband does not want her child to stay with them. The man may have even asked about the girl and she may have lied to him that she was her mum's last child or a niece. Na so dem dey do

      Delete
    4. She has been maltreating your child and even did it in your presence and you said nothing.You even made it seem ok by going ahead to punish her after that.Madam you had ample opportunity to speak up.Why are you afraid of scattering tables when it concerns your child?is there more you're not telling?Do something,stop moving her around and think of ways you can reunite with her

      Delete
    5. Instead of you all to give advice you give insults! These things have happened already, so give advice if you you have any. We do not know the condition why the poster and her child cannot be together at this time. Let's be respectful of people's situation. Life isn't the same for everyone.

      Poster, since you send money for your child's up keep and also help your sibling's family with school fees and house rent, can't you sent you child to one of your sibling you know will take good care of your child and give that one all the help you give this.

      I believe your sibling who took your child from the other sibling did that because he/she wanted to be receiving all the help you are currently giving him/her and also to have you child help with domestic activities.

      Delete
    6. Poster you are here blowing grammar.......... Better go get your baby girl ASAP! Just try the best you can to manage with your baby. Picturing those slaps gives me the hibigibies for real. Go get your baby!

      Delete
    7. Anon 17:12 that was the only reason she picked that girl. To get financial gains from her mom abroad.

      Delete
    8. I hope in the future your pdaughter won't despise you for not protecting her. If she can slap your child in your presence , then that girl must be going through hell living with them.

      Look for any other person except her and take your child away from that toxic place. Also, let her know how you feel about the whole stuff...

      Delete
    9. Anon 15:53 this narrative is wrong!!!!... The girl child must be protected at all cost? Imagine! Children must be protected at all costs. There is no special child or gender. You all push this narrative and it is causing havoc in our society. The girl child is not special or more special than the boy child. All children should be protected. After saying things like this you come out to fight for equality. How can people given unmerited privileges get equal rights? Abeg this your talk vex me🚢🏼‍♂️🚢🏼‍♂️🚢🏼‍♂️

      Delete
    10. Why not put her in a good boarding school if you can afford it and choose one of your sisters you can talk to to take care of her during holidays? If you can't trust anyone in your family, make arrangements for her to visit you during holidays. Lots of kids went to Igbinedion primary and I know parents in Uyo that sent their primary school kids to Lagos boarding schools when the kidnapping increased in Uyo as far back as 2012.
      I'm curious to know why you can't talk to your sibling. Joining them to punish her instead of defending her broke my heart. You need to call your daughter and apologize to her. Who will she turn to if she is being abused? You are her mother and her protector but seem not to care about her enough by turning a deaf ear to your other siblings complaints that she is being abused. It happening in front of you was a good opportunity for you to raise the roof but you joined them. Please contact her father to know if he/his family is in a better position to care for her.

      Delete
    11. Best comment so far, I wanted to type this.

      Delete
    12. Cute Isoko, a girl child is far more vulnerable and an easier prey for molesters. The defence and protection of the girl child began not so long ago and you are already tired and fighting it?

      Poster, I don't know if anyone has suggested boarding school to you? There are very good private boarding schools which are expensive but by the time you combine the money you give that wicked family, you can afford it. Make informed inquiries as to the security and location of the school cos Naija is one kain now. Or better still, take her to ur country of resistance and put her in a boarding school. That girl will be exposed and going through things she cannot tell you. ACT NOW.

      Delete
    13. Tiana I agree

      Poster you are a reckless and irresponsible parent

      You are playing with the mental state, emotions of your daughter speaking English

      Her safety and well being should be your priority

      Don't fail her!

      Delete
  2. You aren't going to have peace as long as your child; girl child for that matter, is staying away from you.
    How will you feel if you mother gave you away to be tossed around and you
    know that she can live with you?
    You ended up not telling us one good reason why this child is not staying with you.
    Are you living abroad illegally like most Nigerians do?
    Take your child and rear your child.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Don't say anything. It will worsen things. Just hurry up and put things in order so that your child can move in with you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Find a way to get ur child out of there. If not ur child will resent u in future. It will take the child a long time to understand u we’re doing ur best and the resentment no be here. Talking from experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For as long as you allow your child to be maltreated by your sister without saying anything, prepare yourself for the future because that child WILL NEVER forget that you abandoned her, and when she grows up, you too will reap what you had sowed. You are destroying your future and don't cry fowl when the time comes!!! That child will not remain a child forever, she will grow to become an adult and will know with time why you didn't protect her or take her with you. If I were you, I will not condone my child being slapped seven times!! I will caution my sister infront of my child!!!
      Then punish my child. If she doesn't take it well, I will try another sibling while I make arrangements to bring my child over to where I am.
      I lived with my mother but there were things, she never thought me, there were punishments she gave me that were not right eg just because of seeing me talk with one house boy in my compound without warning because I don't even recall her cautioning me to stop talking to him, and mind you it is only when we meet at the tap joint that I run into him oh, I normally prefer to wash beans downstairs since there's a gutter there. My mum saw us one day like that, shouted and shouted , made me undress and pushed me out of the house completely naked, I was about 14/15 and I was a clueless virgin who didn't even know how babies were made then. I had to hide behind some planks downstairs, something in me died that day. Even though I forgave her, because after a while she sent for me and called my sister and gave us sex education, that was when I understood that she was trying to protect me but I couldn't forget the punishment, I forgave but I didn't forget and I will never do that to any of my kids or any child. I couldn't relate very well with my mum. I took care of her more than most of my siblings but something deep down will not let me be free to have that relationship no matter how I try. The trauma never left me.
      So whatever you are doing now will be your reward tomorrow and pray that that child will forgive you or have understanding tomorrow. For me, make plans and take your child with you, that is one option you seem to be shying away from. That child can also be abused sexually, and it will be AL YOUR FAULT tomorrow. That child is your responsibility and God will hold you accountable if she doesn't turn out right. Be wise my dear.

      Delete
    2. Awwwww Hot stew, e-hugs.

      This chronicle is painful to read.
      You have been told by your other siblings of maltreatment on YOUR OWN DAUGHTER, and as God will have it, YOU MADAM, WITNESSED IT, and you never spoke UP, INSTEAD YOU PUNISHED HER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

      Madam, you are a very weak and wicked woman.

      You have failed that child overly and it is morally and emotionally SO WRONG damaging.

      My heart bleeds for that child you claim that is yours.

      This is so so heartbreaking.

      Poor child, God be with you, Amen.

      Keep asking questions ma.
      Keep stating how many people you have feed and is feeding.
      Those you have paid for accommodation and is still paying for their accommodation.

      Ma, continue, just continue.

      Delete
    3. Madam Poster, I'm sorry for your daughter.

      She is very very lonely having been passed around relatives who don't want her or use her as ATM (her mum assist them financially).then the only person who should feel her pain couldn't stand up for her when she was slapped 7x by her Anty. (my heart is broken for this girl, she may never forgive you in life, if she eventually does, she can't forget)

      My advice : Consider this fact that some strangers may be more caring towards her than your sisters...... Exoerience has thought me that strangers mostly appreciate one's good deed than entitled family members..

      I can refer you to someone (a widow, teacher, clear conscience and honest woman with a sense of human empathy living in Kano state Nigeria) who you can trust your girl to grow up with. If that's something you want, contact me.

      Also, pls look around you for old school mates, tried and trusted woman or someone you know is good not just religious by lip service if that makes sense..

      Whatever you do, pls act fast before your girl becomes damaged by trauma, abuse, low-self esteem seeing how she's maltreated contrary to her nieces and nephew.

      I honestly wish you well. Sorry for your pain.

      Delete
  5. If that child is sexually abused, she will find is difficult to forgive you, seeing that you enabled it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This story is hurting me directly like I'm the child.

      Poster, please take your child with you asap. Don't bother about making any plans. If na under the bridge you dey live, let her stay there with you.

      That girl will grow to be an adult one day and she might never forgive you for abandoning her. What you're doing to her now is what she might do to you when she grows older and become independent. Don't waste any more time.

      Delete
    2. In this day and age, with all the revelations we have had with the help of social media, you are alive and left your child with relatives? Like you chose to live your child, a girl for that matter in the lions den. With all these stories about child abuse, etc. My heart goes out to that poor baby. May God protect her from vultures. Some children are with relatives because their parents are no longer alive, but you chose this for her. The least you can do is speak up for her not coming here to seek for advice.

      Delete
  6. As far as I'm concerned you have failed this child. So you'd prefer your child to keep suffering when you can take your child and treat him or her better?! Whatever the problem might be, if you love that child take him or her out of there. ASAP! WTH!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Be hearing info and also seeing maltreatment. How long will she suffer for your mistake . Look for way and be with your child. Traveling with nothing to show for it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Is it possible that you are into international prostitution and that is why you fear to take your child to live with you?
    If that is the case, repent and let Jesus give you a new life. And please let this girl child have her mother's love in her childhood.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe or she’s married and hiding the child from her heavenly husband smh. Even death can’t keep me away from my kids. I was suffering at some point and I was told to send my kids to my parents to ease my suffering I nearly slapped the person. We suffered together now we’re enjoying together.

      Delete
  9. Still punished her after about 7 slaps?! You should reevaluate yourself as a mother and if you are living up to your responsibilities because as far as this chronicle hints, you are not.
    Please do all you can to take your child away from your sis, no matter the cost. You are her mum and you are alive!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That part weak me too. After 7 hot slaps she still collected punishment from her mother that should raise to her defence. SMH

      Delete
  10. Poster, you love your siblings much more than your child.. You have to choose to protect that girl from harm and psychological harm before its too late..
    I pity you because you might lose your child's love and affection after this childhood trauma. Don't blame anyone but yourself..

    Talk to your sister. Talk to your child frequently on the phone. It seems you have no relationship with her..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly,me that don't have patience,first slap she go hear am hot.then you still asked her to apologize.

      Delete
  11. I feel sad reading this. Slapping her like that in your presence means she recieves worst beatings when you are not around. I feel so sad for her. I would advice you make plans for her to join you in abroad. No one can actually take care of your child like you would do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very sad. As you said 15:13, in her absence things will be worse. Other siblings have told her, yet she still wants to hear from the blog. She has even seen with her eyes. I'm confused, what advice do you really want poster?

      Delete
  12. Are you sick in the head?
    You end up giving her more purnishment. So angry with you lady traveller. Want your child to be a damage adult right.
    Stay one place with your babygirl .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can sincerely say a big YES, to your first line.
      She is such a weakling and overtly wicked woman.
      I refuse to add mother to her, she's not fit!

      Delete
  13. Poster take your child with you.

    Simple thing you people will do, you will still write chronicle.


    Carry your child, no be she say make you born am.

    You are planning to give your child to another sibling. Na them send you to born.

    I have always been saying that as a man/woman, if you are not mentally, financially, emotionally and physically ready to have kids, please don't born.

    All this abuse story everywhere no dey enter your ear?

    You get luck you no dey here, na hot slaps I for take scatter your face...

    BTW, what about the one that called himself the father of your child?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good question, Chike. Where is the father of the child in all this long narrative. All the women BVs before your comment did not ask this question. E get why?

      The answer to that question may even tell why the child is being "maltreated".

      Delete
    2. Where is the father?

      Father is care and attention not just sperm, school fees

      Delete
  14. Madam are you okay?
    Because you don't want to cause family beef.you want to be a disappointment to your child.

    You witness Ill treatment melted on your child.
    What if you are not there would have been worse.
    Biko move your child to a more sane environment

    ReplyDelete
  15. Remove your child from there asap.. Or your child will grow up to hate you. PLS REMOVE YOUR CHILD FROM THAT ENVIRONMENT WHATEVER IT WILL COST YOU. THAT CHILD IS BEING ABUSED.
    REMOVE THE CHILD FROM THERE AS A MATTER OF URGENCY. PLS IN THE NAME OF WHATEVER YOU HOLD DEAR.

    MAY God help you.

    Once you remove the child no need to talk about anything. It will be her word against your daughter. Remove her and work on your daughter's emotional health mbok.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am confused, why can't you take your child away to live with you? I pray that child don't grow up hating u. Also pray they dont kill her with maltreatment. Seems you don't like your child sef. I don't even understand. Now I understand why a distant relative dropped his two kids off at a catholic orphanage at Nkpogu area of ph, while he travelled n every month he would send money to the children's home while my mom would visit them n carry food n stuff as donation. They stayed n went to school, until their dad was able to sort himself out n came for them. He said instead of any relative to maltreat his kids, he sent them there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They abuse kids in some orphanages too

      Delete
    2. They will treat his kids well, knowing he is their benefactor and most likely communicates with his kids often and also has people going to check on them.

      Delete
  17. It be nice you look for a way to take your child away from such an unconducive environment to be very honest and there are no two ways about it

    ReplyDelete
  18. Please madam, try as much as possible and take your child with you. I know it is not easy.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Regardless of how difficult life is, take your child away from that environment this instant.no matter how noble your effort at building an ideal life for you two is, this is the formative years of her life that creates the values her life will be built on going forward. These years are hard to forget as they form fire/water in heart depending on what they experienced. You would even be surprised at how God will intervene to make life easier for you to cater for her.

    If you are the sibling in question, may God forgive you for being a despeakable person.

    ReplyDelete
  20. What I want to know is:

    1. What are you doing that your child cannot be with you?

    2. Are you hiding your child away from something? As in, you are ashamed of her or you told lies somewhere about your status?

    3. Even if you went to study, did they refuse you taking your child with you?

    I honestly cannot say anything. This chronicle is hiding facts that would have helped in giving you advice. Your "long story" would have helped in advising you. I'm sure of that.

    Take the child and go be with her. Simple. Since you are hiding important information that would have helped.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It’s only death or serious illness that should make a parent leave a child with others if not you’re unfit to be called a parent.

      Delete
  21. Poor child πŸ˜”

    ReplyDelete
  22. What are you saying poster? Take your child out of that environment! I’m hurt on her behalf. You are her mother, please protect her fiercely.

    ReplyDelete
  23. It's best you take your child with you. Because you can't afford to hear anything bad going on to your girl.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Me, I cannot leave my child i carried in my womb wit anyone o, not even my twin or whatever. My pikin is my life abeg. If na garri, make we chop am like that... poster pls apply for visa to take ur child with you or send her to boarding school if possible and during holidays let her vist you or you visit her and rent a shortlet apartment for the two of you or go somewhere for holidays till school resumes, Simple o. Because you are wasting more money on people who do not love you but want your money & hate your child. Please raise up the issue as no one has the right to raise their hands on your child for any reason, me I go kill person when slap my pikin 7x ooooo, I no thief the pikin o, I suffer born am so pls, you cannot touch my child. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some boarding schools is not it,some will introduce her to lesbianism

      Delete
    2. Take responsibility and bring up your child YOURSELF!

      You will definitely give account to GOD

      Delete
  25. Remove that child from there fast.

    ReplyDelete
  26. This poster is a very Wicked mother period. You dont love your child simple. Look at Ajuju and chronicle on top your child's wellbeing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's not fit to be called a mother. No protective power over her seed...

      Delete
    2. Still talking instead to act fast.

      Delete
  27. Hmmmm.. Take your child with you!

    ReplyDelete
  28. You are a very wicked mother from the pit of hell.

    ReplyDelete
  29. My nephew was in a similar situation, difference was it was his uncles wife doing the maltreatment and because my the hubby wasnt always around, it was difficult to curtail.

    The uncle put my nephew in one of the best boarding schs in the state and straight from sch, he goes to the grandparents place, even during half term.

    Perhaps u consider doing that. Alternatively, get a relative from the village and rent a room and move ur child to the relative's place.

    Ur child should never have to endure abuse. When other adult relatives are bringing to ur attention that ur child is being abused and you do nothing about it, the abuser is empowered even more whilst ur child's confidence is further diminished.

    I pray ur child doesnt seek solace "outside" and eventually runaway before u act.......cos by then, the narrative will be thag ur child is loose and refuse home training hence ran away with stolen goods.

    ReplyDelete
  30. As a mother you are suppose to move your child immediately from there

    7 slap did she steal?
    I pity your child
    Weak mother

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With weak and questionable character. Either she be ashewo abroad or she lied to whomever she's living with that she dont have a child.

      Delete
    2. Not just weak alone. The feeling for the said child is not there.

      Delete
  31. Poster, it will be in your own interest that you take your child out of that toxic place,as not to regret not doing so earlier. Cause I've seen this kind of situation before,and I must tell you it usually get worst...

    ReplyDelete
  32. My nephew was in a similar situation, difference was it was his uncles wife doing the maltreatment and because my the hubby wasnt always around, it was difficult to curtail.

    The uncle put my nephew in one of the best boarding schs in the state and straight from sch, he goes to the grandparents place, even during half term.

    Perhaps u consider doing that. Alternatively, get a relative from the village and rent a room and move ur child to the relative's place.

    Ur child should never have to endure abuse. When other adult relatives are bringing to ur attention that ur child is being abused and you do nothing about it, the abuser is empowered even more whilst ur child's confidence is further diminished.

    I pray ur child doesnt seek solace "outside" and eventually runaway before u act.......cos by then, the narrative will be thag ur child is loose and refuse home training hence ran away with stolen goods.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Aunty just go and carry your child abeg.

    ReplyDelete
  34. If you dont remove that Child from that house(cos its NOT A HOME) this weekend;look at the mirror and say this to yourself;I ........(fix your name here) is a VERY BIG FAILURE FOR A MOTHER...

    What you cant do for your own child;how do you even expect someone to do it best on your behalf??

    For her to even slap her seven(7) times;she receives much more than that in your absence..

    The most formative stage where you can teach your child discipline,love,respect etc is from Nursery to JSS3;and if for your own selfishness you decide to be absent;I doubt you can ever get it right citing your own case;cos that child will despise you..

    I know how it feels when for example your parents come for school PTA meeting alongside other parents,end of year party and much more...

    That child will feel soo cold when at intervals you are nowhere to be found in all her formative years..

    What else are you looking for where you are that your child isn't with you? MONEY??? !!!!!

    So many are so poor plus very lonely;cos the only thing they ever have to offer is MONEY...

    Pray not to have all the money without FAMILY..

    @MARTINS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Martins tell her pls. Have you seen a lonely old woman before? That would be your case if you don't take that child away from there. Or you think because you now have other children your first fruit should not have your love and attention, you are sitting on a gunpowder.

      Delete
    2. God bless you, Martins.

      What is money when your child is unhappy? God punish rubbish!

      Me that loves my child like crazy will now see someone slapping him and do nothing? Them never born that person!

      Delete
    3. God bless you Martins, thank you.
      This chronicle broke me.
      What a cold hearted woman.
      Very cold!

      Delete
    4. @ Martins, you've said it all.

      Delete
  35. Madame you are an irresponsible mother. You dont love your child and you are pushing your responsibilities onto other people. You daughter is already damaged with what has happened. Give this child up for adoption rather than what you are doing. No mother will allow a child to suffer for more than one day. And you are talkin about the fact you made her apologise. I can see your family dont rate you either which is why they also treat your child this way. Do you even send money for her upkeep? Naaa madame u are realy unfortunate. I rarely judge but this one is enraging

    ReplyDelete
  36. I would advice you take your child to the other sibling she was staying with or since you know all your siblings better, take her to the one you feel will take proper care of her. I believe you can't take her along now for reasons best known to you

    Why would an aunt not care of a niece? I can't imagine maltreating my nieces or nephews. Aslo,before leaving, try to find out if your child exhibits treats that makes it difficult to handle her. in that case, she needs special care and attention which you are preferably the one to coach her as a growing kid. (You know exactly how you want your kid to turn out). If she will remain with this particular sibling, then you need to talk and open up to her about how you feel she treats your child.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Is it when the child is completely traumatised and abused that you will take her?
    Take her to the other sibling and beg the person to treat your child with love, if your current situation will not allow you take her.

    let me see the person that will give my child even 1 slap when I am there.... 😣

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in eeeh, lemme see the person!
      She's a cold hearted woman who have no warmth even for her 'child', so called.

      Delete
  38. I find it hard to imagine how a sibling will be wicked to their nephew/niece. And the person is a parent, I just can't imagine it. Please find a way to take your child away from there before your child resents you. Try and make arrangements for your child to be with you.

    ReplyDelete
  39. The kind of person I am, I will tell my sister there and then that I dislike such attitude, me, watched watched my child being slapped seven times?😹😳 Lol, the shouting match sef eh, I don't care o. My child will eventually leave with me. Ha!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly!
      7 whole time while I am in the same house with them?? Na police station we go settle the matter, YET this one here didn't caution her wicked sister, instead she joined forces and punished her and compelled her to apologize, hey God PUNISH SATAN!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
  40. When I saw "long story", I rolled my eyes so hard. It is becoming a trend here, yet they want us to advice them! How can we offer advice, when you cannot even be truthful about your predicament?!

    @poster, it is obvious that your love for "abroad" supersedes your child! Don't even deny it, because it is true!

    What your long story isn't saying is that...you went abroad - probably illegally and got married to legitimize your stay. Since you can now come home, it means you have received your papers.

    What is stopping you from bringing your child, is the fact that you lied to your spouse that you don't have kids. You getting your child a passport and travel documents to join you, will expose your lies, and you don't want the comfort you have obtained abroad to end!

    Am I lying?!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Hmmm poor child😒. Young children need to be with their mother or father...preferably mother(cos the father is still going to get a woman to take care of them). Nobody can take care of a child like its mother(unless the mother is deranged or bad). Children are bloody hard work and to be honest only worth it if they are your own flesh. I will be honest i cannot take care of someone elses child long term. Poster PLEASE take your child with you as you are leaving... for you to be able to travel to nigeria and back abroad, you must have papers?. Take your child back...or stay in nigeria...just keep your daughter with you. She is even a girl chaii

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This "preferably mother" narrative is so wrong.

      Please women should stop propagating this narrative that men cannot or do not take personal care of their children born out of marriage or born during a marriage ended by divorce, separation or death.

      I met a young woman who told me her father refused to remarry to devote attention to her and her siblings.

      Some men married or remarried but drew the clear line for their wives about their children before such marriages.

      Delete
    2. For a girl child...she needs to be with her mother abeg. Yeah sure there a some AMAZING fathers out thete who will take care of their children but they are like hens teeth. Very few fathers have that dedication. Is it the father that is going to be washing a girl childs vagina day in day out?. Abeg not a good idea!

      Delete
  42. Y are you people blaming the poster? Do u think she is happy leaving her behind?

    Poster please look for distance relatives or even old friends and give your child for now since your siblings are from help and can't take care of their niece.

    My sister gave birth at home and we are treating that girl like an egg till this day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, poster do not have sane relatives or siblings.

      Delete
    2. Me too I don't know why they are insulting her. Poster please if you have money, take her to a very good boarding school. I work in a primary school in Lagos and we have a very standard hostel, the pupils are thoroughly supervised and it is safer.It is better she isn't with any relative for too long, who will see her as a burden after sometime. I suggest you take her to a good school. And during the holidays she can go and stay with another relative asides this your sis. This is to protect her from molestation. From experience in my school it is better I put my child in a good hostel than to be allowing her leave with any relative.

      Delete
    3. Poster let your hustle speak in your child's life. Let the money you are working so hard for, speak for her. Look for a good school with zero tolerance to abuse. So she is safe. Keep speaking and encouraging her, while working towards getting your papers and bringing her to join you.

      Delete
    4. She is being insulted for her inaction even when her daughter was abused in her presence. Other siblings have told her about the ill treatment of her child but she did nothing and even made her daughter chop more punishment and apologize to her abusers after she was slapped 7 times. Put yourself in that little girls shoes and tell me if you won't be broken of your mother who should protect you joins them. She is either a stupid coward or has no feelings her daughter. She needs to remove her daughter from there and also call her daughter and genuinely apologize and tell her she was wrong for not defending her.

      Delete
  43. I hope you won't be called to come and bury her,the girl may never forgive you.
    I know of someone who gave the child to her friend after almost 6 years of torture,the friend treated the son like a king, sometimes friends are better than family.

    ReplyDelete
  44. You're abroad hustling for what exactly? When your own child that should be enjoying your sacrifice/s isn't. Pray for wisdom to be able to handle this. Family quarrel is not easy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Font mind her, that child is your future,continue chasing shadow u hear

      Delete
  45. I don’t think you have a strong bond with your poor child cos if you do, there’s no way you’d let her stay one more night in that house after 7 slaps!

    What can’t you take her with you?
    It’s almost like she’s a burden to y’all cos I don’t get why there’s no other place for her to stay when you have other siblings.

    Providing for her needs ain’t enough, she needs you. Go get your child!

    ReplyDelete
  46. For your sis to slap your daughter7 times while you're there, who knows what she would have done to her had it been you were not around,chai this small girl don suffer😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

    ReplyDelete
  47. Everyone has called this poster names, without giving any advice. What if she is an illegal migrant? Please, let us focus on how to help her.

    I will advise that you hire a nanny/ older woman who is single. Let your daughter and the nanny stay at your mother's place. Even if your mother is old, she can still exercise oversight function over your daughter. Get your daughter a phone or if your mother has one, there will be no need to get your daughter any. Get a relation to also take her to the bank and open an account for her, give her the ATM card. Place the nanny on a decent monthly pay, send money for feeding and foodstuffs and other essentials.
    Do video calls to see the foodstuffs bought monthly and the quality of food the nanny makes for your daughter. Sometimes tell your daughter to lock herself in a room to speak to you, so that she can freely tell you if she is being ill-treated.

    It is only a spineless mother that will watch her daughter being abused and keep quiet. You said your sister doesn't treat her own children that way, but you kept quiet and watch her treat yours that way, you even supported her by still punishing your daughter again. Isn't that folly? You should have scolded your sister there and then, had an honest conversation with her and told her that you have heard she maltreats your daughter and this is proof.

    How dare you keep quiet when your daughter is being ill-treated!!!!!!!!
    You really should bow your head in shame that even in your presence your child was treated poorly and you kept mute.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

      Delete
    2. She kept quiet because she doesn't have too many options. I know that feeling the poster has. I pray for the poster to get her paper. You people are saying she is a wicked mother, do you think it was an easy decision for the poster to pack her things and leave her daughter behind. Do you know the kind of life she was leaving in Nigeira before the opportunity came for her to travel. If she stays back in Nigeria and works in an organisation like mine were she closes by 6:00 for 35k monthly she will still stay abi. Do we know her educational background. Biko stop judging the poster and give her sensible advise jare.

      Delete
    3. Anony 16;57 and 17:59...God bless the both of you.
      Some of us here allow emotions to becloud our good sense of reasoning, the poster lives abroad for crying out loud,she may not be legally settled so bringing in another person will be hard,at a point I went back to re-read the chronicle thinking I made a mistake at where she stays because of the bashing.
      Lady,I want you to take the advice of the two Anony,that was exactly what I wanted to write before I saw hers.
      Get an advanced nanny to look after the baby at your mother's place please.

      Delete
    4. Is she is able to visit Nigeria, she is no longer an illegal immigrant. Even if she can't take her daughter, she needs to do her best to prevent her from being abused and not join them in abusing her and sending chronicle. If her mother is too old to care for her daughter, she can send her to a good boating school and hire an older nanny to stay with her mum and daughter during holidays.

      Delete
    5. Boarding school will be the best option and le her not go to her wicked aunty's place during holiday. Find someone else (does any BV here want to volunteer to care for your child, ask of you need help and be specific and honest too(spill out the long story to get better advice Poster)..
      All the best wishes.. Scroll up and read Martins and Child of God comment for clarity on your status of mind.

      Delete
  48. Put your child in a boarding school,hire a nanny that can house your child.all that money you are giving to your siblings should be directed to other ways of caring for your child.

    ReplyDelete
  49. There should be no one more important to you in the whole world than your child. If being in another country will only benefit you and cause you to be enstranged from your child, Madam please come back home.
    Do not allow your child to be abused physically, emotionally and maybe even sexually. Your daughter didn't ask to be born. She should be your primary concern and responsibility. I pray you so not regret your actions in the long run.

    ReplyDelete
  50. How can you seriously be asking what to do..
    A girl child,I promise you ,that girl will never forgive you if she grows into a bad future by the nature of how hard her childhood resulted Bcos her parents neglected her...
    My mum didnt neglect me like this but daily in my head I still find it hard to forgive her for neglecting me ...nne no amount of money in this world can heal the deep wounds of abuse.....no amount of money will make her forgive you if she ever gets abused NON NON NON
    SO YOU BETTER help her now to help you later

    ReplyDelete
  51. How can she slap your daughter 7times in your presence now imagine abuse she is enduring that you are not aware of. My advice is enrol her to a good boarding school then during the holidays she can stay with your mother with the help of a nanny.let your child knows you are alive not dead. I'm really pained please take your child away from that place. I'm really begging you.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Common sense is not common . Poster don’t you know good from evil? Nah wah ooh

    ReplyDelete
  53. You sound unintelligent! This chronicle just dey vex me.... Mtchew

    ReplyDelete
  54. Them never born the person that will slap my child that way, be it sibling or some other person I will not overlook it.
    You are even asking what you should do, go to WAR 🚢🏿‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
  55. You’re simply irresponsible poster, you have no excuse not to take your child with you and raise him or her up properly. I pity you cos you’ll reap this seeds you’re sowing. May God judge you for your excuses and negligence.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The most painful part of this chronicle is that she punished her child again after the seven slaps she already received.
      How do you let someone raise your kid?
      That child must have suffered so much abuse, physically and emotionally.
      If you check, she’s not doing well in her studies.
      Do not let your daughter spend another night in that house.
      Pikin wey some people not see born na e you take dey play.

      Delete
  56. Really Really detest this poster. Thank God I wasn't given your type as a mother.

    ReplyDelete
  57. It takes less than 2 years to get an immigrant visa for your child. Exactly what's is stopping you from applying for immigrant visa for your daughter?. What are you hiding. Do the needful before that little girl is destroyed by your family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too many holes in her chronicle. Don't blame people for being angry poster and speculating based on your narrative, because you left out important details like why you have to not be with your daughter and any detail about her father. Be that as it may, you should at least make sure of your daughter's wellbeing where you choose to leave her. There is absolutely no excuse to leave her there now that you know about the abuse. I am tired abeg...........

      Delete
  58. Please take your child if possible

    ReplyDelete
  59. Poster please if you can't live with your daughter now. I think the best thing is you put her in a good boarding close. I believe some 10 years are in JSS 1. Maybe when you come back you can search for a good school by yourself and get the number of a teacher that can serve as her guardian in the school. When she is on holidays and in your sister's place, try to speak with her everyday. Develop a relationship with her, so even if she is maltreated, she can be confident to tell you, you can comfort her that will give her a sense that she is not abandoned.

    Also, you really shouldn't have punished her after receiving 7 slaps.
    Good luck

    ReplyDelete
  60. Please get Nanny for your child and relocate her to your mummy's house. She is the best person to look after her in your absence. Do that immediately. Delay is dangerous. Since your mum is really old. Then ignore your sister and her family.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Wow ! You punished her again? 7 slaps ? So wham πŸ‘‹ wham πŸ‘‹ wham πŸ‘‹ wham πŸ‘‹ wham πŸ‘‹ wham πŸ‘‹ wham πŸ‘‹ 7x and you still punished her? You’re weak, irresponsible and a terrible person as a mother ! Jeez I’m so sad and upset

    ReplyDelete
  62. Hmmm... This brought memories. Madam, I was in a similar situation but just that my daughter was staying with my sibling abroad. After 6 years, I damned all consequences and papers to bring my daughter back to Nigeria to live with me.

    My daughter told me I abandoned her, made me so sad and I also realized I had missed out in of her formative years even though I visited twice in a year. Grateful I had her back early. There's nothing like having your child live with you, please do everything you can to have her move to where you reside.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Chei Poster, I read with so much heaviness in my heart as this brings back so much bad memories.
    I do not blame you but pls I beg you to think of tour child before making decisions that might cause you so much pain & heartache in future.
    Your child that didnt beg to be born, her parental care has been outsourced to people who do not care about her.
    This child will grow up and in 10years time, I pray she wont be damaged.
    With the way tour sister is treating g her, hope you know even if her husband or a close family begins to molest her, she will have no one to turn to.
    Also, she might be so vulnerable to finding love in all the wrong places.
    I have been in your daughter's position, the hurt cant be explained.
    How you sleep at night is a mystery. Pls do right by your daughter and begin to be more intentional in her welfare.
    I'm so sad

    ReplyDelete
  64. Poster, this your story reminds me so much of my young self! This is exactly my story..Wow! Well from my experience, I would advice you still keep your daughter with your sister, as long as she is not been Sexually abused till when you are ready... Send her to a good Secondary school, and during the hols, she can shuffle between Grandma's place and your other relatives...
    Truthfully, the experience would help shape her into a better person and of course she would resent your sister and kids when she is older... But, it's better than moving her from one place to the other....
    In my case, my mum was also sending things over and my Aunty would take the finer ones for her kids and give me the ones her kids rejected..... My Aunty's husband was very mean to me etc but I wasn't abused sexually.. Matter of fact, my mum kept moving me from various places and finally settled with keeping me at my Aunty's place because she felt it would be better I grow up in a mum and dad environment....
    I am 40 now, and the last time I said hello to my Aunty and her kids was the day I left to be with my mum 20years ago, I see them every year when I come back to Naija, but mehn Lai lai I can't forgive them even her daughter who is same age with me, I despise her....
    Smh! I know your hands are tied, hence my giving you this advice. Changing environments all the time for your baby it's not the best
    E-hugs

    ReplyDelete
  65. Three options,in order of 'preference':

    1) Take your child with you. There is nothing more important than the well being of that child at the moment. It is non negotiable.

    2) Take her back to your mother's, but hire a nanny that will be responsible for her day to day routine. Your mom can oversee the nanny to curb any thoughts of maltreatment. Pay this nanny well. Also commission any non wicked, kinder and mild mannered sibling to check in on them from time to time. These two options MUST be temporary. Your child belongs with you and no one else. Once you secure a safe and loving environment for her, you're on the clock to expedite the process of bringing your child to you.

    3) Bring your butt back home to care for your child. She did not ask to be born.
    The longer that child is away from you, the deeper the damage to her.

    Do right by your child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thbaka Oma for summarising all out points here. Poster, over to you now. Don't get upset at the diversity of meanings from this post because you used the word" long story " to hide details..
      But that's OK.. I fiti love your daughter, no be by mouth, Proove it by standing up for her and let her feel safe to confide in you.

      Delete
  66. Common school that my daughter will go to and I will be so eager for her to come back because I wouldn't know how the teachers will be treating her not to talk of keeping her for someone to slap 7 times in my presence, hmmmm

    ReplyDelete
  67. Let ur daughter come to Babcock high school in Ogun state as a boarder, its a good school and i can help u to be checking on her also. Please, I beg u in Gods name, take care of her. I pray God gives u the wisdom to know the right decision to take.

    ReplyDelete

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