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Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Couch Convo - Men And Cheating As Their Birth Right.

 Why do some men think cheating is their birthright? It is OK for them to cheat but they do not want to hear that their lovers or spouses are doing same.. what kind of mentality is this?



A serial cheat ended his 15 year old Marriage after his frustrated wife (lied) boated to him that she had also started dating someone else to balance the equation.

He immediately called a family meeting and told the elders present that he was no longer interested in the marriage because his wife cheated..... These were the same elders that had been begging the wife to forgive him for his serial cheatings....... Are you one such men?

You cant deal with her cheating but you cant stop cheating!... Na wah! 

92 comments:

  1. I told a friend that cheating is my deal breaker, I would forget the first time but I won't second time even in marriage. I can't be loyal and you cheat on me. I won't cheat back rather I walk away. She said that's why have been single for 6years now cause no man is loyal.

    She went on to say even if I keep on remarriage I would be counting like 100 men then cause they would cheating. I said I rather remain single then. Age said good for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She told you the raw truth, only few men can stay and not cheat

      Delete
    2. There are billions of men in the world so trust me the
      "few men" are not so few after all. and that is the raw truth.

      Personally I know five men who don't cheat. 2 got married a virgin. My brother and cousin and they are still with their first love years after their marriages and three other uncles I know them personally. I think it has to do with the circle you keep.

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    3. Please date outside your race,most Nigerian /African men are dogs.
      Staying with a cheating spouce is theasy most degrading thing a woman can do
      Stay single if you have to, travel, develop your skill, adopt.
      Wish you grace in your journey sis

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    4. I can remember i had an Ex dat cheated on me so much,caught him several times. we eventually broke up even though i still loved him.
      Years after he came back. Friends,his family everyone was intervening cos they wanted us to finally settle down.
      I was just cruising i knew i cld not take him serious again but still agreed to see him. While with him i was just merely chatting with someone and he got so furious about it. This is someone i had not even agreed to date but you are so angry because i was told you about a guy i was seeing months ago but we were having issues. He immediately thot it was the guy and was asking me to put my phone away angrily. They can dish but cant take it. It didnt work anyway,we are both married to different people.

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    5. A lie repeated and carried out so many times

      People try to normalise promiscuous behaviour by men, it still doesn't make it right

      Forgetting GOD added no gender exclusion to sin

      Many are ignorant about the immediate and after effects

      May Holy Spirit open our eyes of understanding in Jesus Christ name Amen

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    6. Olomo some of us don't cheat though and we plenty small

      Delete
  2. "Why do some men think cheating is their birthright? It is OK for them to cheat but they do not want to hear that their lovers or spouses are doing same.. what kind of mentality is this?"

    Answer

    Frog's brain mentality. Because it takes an intelligent man to know for cheating to occur in the first place, a woman has to be a participant. Which indirectly means women cheats too. It also takes a smart man to know these women they are cheating with are other men's girlfriends, fiancee, wives. Which means for every men who cheats there is a huge probability his angelic sweetheart is also cheating on him too.





    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a vicious circle 13:07..


      Lovelace

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    2. We have to always remember that the whole institution of marriage was for the benefit of the woman. Unlike now, women were not economically independent and depended on the man (father or husband) for everything. When a woman falls pregnant and the man denies responsibility, as they are won’t to do even now (lol) the woman ends up being abandoned with no means of livelihood or support. So society demanded that ONE man must take responsibility for her. That man became her husband and ALL other men are warned off, at the risk of paying heavy fines or even being put to death! This was to ensure that the husband had no excuse for not taking care of his woman or wife!
      Even a reading of the Bible (Leviticus and Deuteronomy) shows clearly that women had no rights and were regarded as little better than property. Otherwise how can the woman who suffered the injury, say endured a rape, be ignored while her male relatives (father, husband, or brother) are the ones compensated!
      The whole idea of “cheating” is strange and was brought to us by Europeans. There is no traditional marriage anywhere in Africa where that is a requirement because Africans are an old race and they know the nature of men and women!
      Why men frown at their women “cheating” is because it is the woman who carries permanent evidence of the act when she gets pregnant! The rampant stories of women passing off other men’s children as their husbands’ is proof enough of this.
      It is okay for the women on this blog to be saying what they are, that is their opinion, but the fact still remains that women are hardwired to go for “successful” men - married or not. Those men that “cheat” do so with the female gender! If all women said “NO” their will be no report of cheating, but will they?

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    3. Ewo

      A lot of people are not going to like this truthπŸ˜‚

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    4. @13:o=07 and @15:49, you two brought up a dimension to this topic, which is usually ignored when this conversation comes up for discussion.

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    5. 22:12 really nice comment by the duo

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  3. hehehe wahala dey....this topic is one that would forever be discussed because e get as e be...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's exhausting!!!

      I am honestly tired of talking about it

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  4. Hmmm,men and cheating are 5$6 o,Only God can prove this theory because some so called men of God cheat on their wives too.it is well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Every gender does, but the society make men feel its their birth right

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    2. The question here is: who do these men cheat with? Women of course and some of these women have boyfriends or husbands. Also some of these women are aware that the men are married. For most men who cheats, there is a willing woman cheating with him.

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  5. Let me sit and learn from honourable men of fidelity,moral restrain and godliness.Such men are my prospective model .
    #ThatOgojaDude

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  6. Hmmm cheating is not good for both genders. But men wants to be the only ones doing it which is not good or healthy for both parties

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have seen men that don't cheat... Men with principles

    Lack of self control, No regard for your partner and the vows you made is the problem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Any man that does not cheat does not have that kind of money to cheat yet...or his gbola is not strong or big enough to handle more than one lady at a time. I get one boyfriend that time, if you see his body ehn, he be like king kung. I was like 'this one will crush me oo'. Very well built body but with small penis, then he could not do more than one round at a sitting. He will be lying that that is how is brain is wired. Ogbeni, talk true, KO SI STAMINA. Big for nothing. Lol.

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    2. Sigh....Abionah,you need to work on your mindset...So you have sampled all the men in the world,to come to this your conclusion?Work on your self worth...

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    3. Abionna, if you are still single, discard this mind set cos take it from me, there are men who has it all; money, gbola, stamina, charisma, chivalry and the fear of God.

      But how will you attract such men when your mind alread told you otherwise?

      Delete
  8. A cheater is in bondage; adultery is idolatry, see Eph. 5:5. So if one understands that someone cheating needs The Savior, Jesus to save him, one will handle matters differently.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Too many selfish men out there. My annoyance with them is that they sometimes feel they are smart while cheating... mstcheeeew... I here to read comments and learn from cheating men.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are not smarter than women when it comes to cheating, but the society put the woman at a disadvantage when the issue escalates.

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    2. Men's cheating is like stealing meat from Ogbono soup there must be a trail but when Women cheat he dey always dey neat...Well it takes two to tango...

      Men see it as a birthright because of toxic masculinity encouraged in our society

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  10. The thing is that once a married woman begins to cheat, it puts a question mark on all the kids she had ever had and will ever have.

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    Replies
    1. ...and once a married man starts to cheat it raises a question of if he has fathered kids outside.

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    2. Lol, how come mine are all grown up and moved on good in life? I am now widowed with 3 grandkids, though, he died in a hotel, his story was on the grapevine, way back in early 2000s. As soon as he started cheating, I did too, we never slept with each other till he passed on it we lived under one roof.

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    3. @13:58
      Congrats. Sure you feel so good having cheated and having the guilt of adulteries in your conscience?

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    4. Only Jesus can remove the guilt of adultery from you @13:58 Confess, repent and move on. Do not be proud of iniquity

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    5. @13:48
      Yes, and those kids remains his. The point is that the married woman will pass off strange kids to her husband as his. Don't you gerrit?

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    6. 14:23 Those kids remains his but they are not of the woman he married and exchanged vows with? I guess that makes sense to you as long as the cheat lf a man is safe and his feelings not hurt.

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    7. The fact that he fathered kids with another woman not his wife does not make it right, it is still adultery. But he isn't passing off another man's kids to another. That is climbing another step in cheating, in iniquity! Just like abortion after fornication or adultery is another step into iniquity. It is murder. Please stay away from sin.

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    8. When a man impregnates his side chick outside it also does not end there. There is another step they will climb or You think the side chick will hide her kids forever? and won't let them know their father's family? Have you not read of cases when these adulterous men die and random kids from strange places show up to claim inheritances that his real wife and her husband sweated for? the man is already dead but his cheating and adulterous ways still lives. Wife feeling betrayed, Children fighting, jazz and spiritual attack, malice.

      Irrespective of who cheats it doesn't end well .

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    9. @16:50
      I read all the comments and none had said that cheating "ends well." The point here is that whereas the married woman passes strange kids to her husband. The man lives or dies while his remain his.

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    10. 19:54 This is one the reason the male gender especially should be against cheating with every fibre of their being because they have a lot to lose as long as they cheat with women but sadly they are the gatekeepers and advocate of the cheating that hurts them drastically. Not just married women, single ladies who gets pregnant and does not want to abort pass off their kids as another man's kid too if they see he is ready to settle down and the other boyfriend refuses to accept it. It happens a lot.
      Some Ladies gives farewell sex to their ex boyfriends before their wedding also pass off kids to their intended husband.
      Fornication and adultery should be seriously frown against by men due to this reason but they are not ready because most lack self-control and these same cheating men expect women, on their behalf to help them care about their own cheating downsides they experience, like women do not have theirs to worry about.

      Delete
  11. When they say men cheat, the first question I ask is ... Who are they cheating with?

    Women cheat too but I guess they know how to cover their tracks better.

    Some say all men cheat but that's not true.


    I've also met some ladies who say they expect their men to cheat because all men are the same. Hmmmmm .. na wah for this mentality

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Women dont need to cover tracks. As you are now, they tell u, richie your woman is cheating, will you believe? No. That's how it is, all her movement checks out, there is no reason for u to doubt her, her phones are clean. But sometimes beneath that innocence, is a scarlet woman.

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    2. These are the ladies who dont want to kee themselves over a wandering man

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  12. That's a baseless generalization. Not all men think that way. I have never thought about cheating on my woman even when I admire other ladies, it ends there. No sane godly man will cheat on his woman.

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    Replies
    1. Yes dear, emphasis on Godly! Some where not raised right! They saw thier father's cheat and disrespected thier mum, they see no reason why they should do otherwise.

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    2. My brother, calm down oh, if not for religion, marriage law and social pressure, which man will not engage in such an act? Its just by the Grace of God that many are able to stay true to their wives.

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    3. Olomo you too take a chill pill oo

      if not for the same reasons you stated which woman will not want to engage In such an act? see clean fine men everywhere. May God help everyone. Fine hot men everywhere e no easy. Women just like to pretend like they don't have eyes or fantasize.

      Not the first anon though.

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    4. 2 years never cheated never tempted

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    5. Your wife is a lucky to have a man like you

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  13. It's a few that don't cheat,a few that have self control,honour God and love their wives.The rest of them,I simply have no words for them....

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  14. Well.. if some men think cheating is their birthright, there are others that have exchanged that birthright for loyalty and they are our husbands, brothers and boyfriends. Hopefully, it remains that way.

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    Replies
    1. Amen for you Perxian!

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    2. Amen for you Perxian and Eka Joy!

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    3. 🀣🀣🀣🀣 @ "anon" 20.32

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  15. @Engraced,you made a salient point.Thumbs up for you.
    #ThatOgojaDude

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  16. At times I look at it as if it's natural,buh,I cant conclude if it's natural,what I'm I saying sef,men n cheating,see hw ur confusing my brain this hot afternoon.

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  17. I thought my ex was the best guy in town,honest loyal and doesn't cheat but when the relationship ended he would always like to sex chat me,even sending his nude videos and the most craziest one that made me felt I actually fooled myself in the relationship.A week after he got married,he came for stuffs in my town,we met and he kissed me,even wanted more but I couldn't because I know he was already married but he didn't know that I was aware.All his actions after the breakup made me realized I wasted my time with a clean operator.Each time I asked him,is this what you do with your ex and other girls while with me?uncle said I was different,can be trusted,all na wash!I don give myself brain because if I don't burn bridges I will find myself in bed with him.He is one of the reason I fear men.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some men are EXPERTS in pretence and double lives. It's only a TRULY God fearing man that will stick to his vows against all odds of temptations.

      Newsflash: a man who sleeps with you before marriage is not godly. If he's fine with fornication, he certainly will be with adultery.

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    2. 17:20, Keep decieving yourself with your news flash. There are many men who sleep with their wives before marriage and are faithful to their wives while there are many others too who did not sleep with their women before marriage but sleeping around now. Men can pretend in order to get you, they can agree not to sleep with you but cheating with other women secretly or masturbating. After marriage, they show their true colours. Only gullible women will believe this your theory

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    3. 18.14 heya, are you one of those who had premarital sex? I just wrote the truth, you don't have to accept it, it's bitter I know. How can fornication and faithfulness go together? don't let me laugh abeg.

      FYI - I clearly am not referring to people claiming celibate but sleeping around. I am talking about truly godly men.

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    4. The fear of God is the primary reason why a man would not cheap. No other factors is strong to stop a man from cheating if he so desires.

      I'm a man and I have been married to my wife for about 17 years now and I have never cheated on her once nor will I ever by His grace.

      Delete
  18. I think the society made it so. They scold the woman and not the man. The woman suffers the consequences if she does but not the man. In the case of a divorce, the man can remarry quickly without that stigma, but not the woman. Blame the society and the family system.

    Looking at it from another angle which many here might not like, I think women should start to think equal as men. A man will get away with everything because he feels he is superior and more responsible for a woman than a woman for a man. Women should start taking initiative, like ask a man out, marry him, avoid bride prize if possible, take responsibility for yourself in the marriage, send a strong signal that you are equal to the task, not take any rubbish from any man and walk out of a man's life if she feels the need to do so. I tell you men will seat up and know its not business as usual.

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    Replies
    1. No woman should ask a Nigerian man out abeg. Thank u!

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    2. The Bible said he who finds a wife and not she who finds a husband...

      Delete
  19. Inasmuch as cheating is to be condemned, naturally men have higher testestorone than women. The question is "what of men that don't cheat?" They are in the minority.

    A man has testestorone level range between 280 and 1,100 nanograms per deciliter (ng/dl) while a woman has level range between 15 and 70 nanograms per deciliter (ng/dl).
    The difference is too much making men to be on heat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See excuse πŸ™„
      So the faithful men have a disorder that made their own testosterone level to be lower than Normal thereby making Them not to be on heat all the time. Nonsense!
      That heat will keep killing them and their marriages

      Delete
  20. This would be my 6th in marriage and I have never cheated. The thought of it actually disgusts me. I feel any woman that would be loose enough to have an affair with a married man will sleep with just any thing for money.
    More like a public convenience to me.

    I love my wife so much and for me 50% of the satisfaction I gain from love making is emotional. The very thought that this is my wife, my very own soul mate and best friend for life. We both know each other’s body so well and she knows the right button to press to get me singing heavenly hymns. Our sex life is still steaming hot. I do not want to ever have to share that with anyone else. Love making would totally lose its awe to me with a random person.

    I’m truly happy πŸ˜ƒ in my marriage. My family is my world. So I don’t know what other type of happiness a side chick will bring to me. Except for stress, I would have to start hiding my phone and worrying about being caught, plus the endless billing too cuz all these side chicks really want is money, they don’t care about you.

    Knowing my wife very well I don’t think she would ever forgive me too for cheating, she would definitely leave me without batting an eye and I don’t see myself being with any other woman or not having to be with my children the way my own father was with us. I love myself too much to put me through such stress.


    I’m surrounded by friends that share same values too. So yeah I do know a lot of men that don’t cheat. I doubt my dad ever did and my brothers too. I lived with some of them and their families while in school so I can vouch for them to an extent. Family is at the center of our worlds. Nothing comes close. “We grind and hustle to keep family safe and comfy. That’s what real men do”, my Dad would always say. God bless his Soul.

    What am I saying - Sex and adultery is over rated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait now and watch some of them come to tell you that you will still cheat in the future or you have a small penis or you are broke. Even when they see a a man who do not cheat they still hope he does or or try to make him feel inadequate. Sadly, Most of those who say these are women. I guess they have been surrounded by so many cheating men that they console themselves into thinking all men cheat just to feel good that they are not alone in their misery and I feel it is also a tactics used so as not feel stupid for staying with a cheating husband.
      Not all men cheat but will they hear.

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    2. Thank you Anon 15:02!Women are the ones who truly talk down on faithful men.it is so disheartening..

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    3. Thank you. You have spoken well. Wish you and ur wife a beautiful forever

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    4. I know alot of persons like you too. So refreshing to read. May God keep your home.

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    5. My husband is one.
      He has never cheated on me in our ten yrs of marriage and I pray he continues. Me too, I will never cheat on him. We love each other so much.

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    6. May God give you the grace to be what you aspire. May you prosper and find peace and joy in your entire long life. You are just like my dad.

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    7. God bless you and your family. Same with my husband, he is a very rich busy professional and doesn't have time for cheating. He always makes reference to his dad as being the only one out of his brothers that didn't plilander or had a child/ren outside marriage.
      This is the 12th year of our marriage and he's clean (as I snoop sometimes).

      Delete
    8. Ano 14.20
      You still get another brother
      Single and searching
      Hnm
      Answer ooooo

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    9. I love reading beautiful marriage stories like this. May God add more sweetness to your marriage, so you can wake up every morning and continue to thank Him.

      God please remember we singles that are still hoping and waiting on You. May we all experience beautiful marriages AMEN

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  21. My discussion with a man yesterday;
    Him; There's no good woman out there again
    Me; There's no man too
    Him; women don't understand its a man world
    Me; I agree, but useless without a woman, both genders need each other
    Him; What does it take for women to understand that men are polygamous, that David had many women and still a man after GOD'S own heart, Solomon chai the man enjoyed.
    Me; Men are not polygamous but greedy, David had all the wives but still went after Uriah's only wife, sword never departed from David's house hence Psalm 51 and Solomon called all vanities cos many women took away his relationship with GOD.
    Him; quiet after sometime said but women should understand that is not easy to eat one soup,
    Me; It's not easy for anyone
    Him; Eh sometimes is not their fault ,their wives are dirty and nag
    Me; it goes both genders, sometimes husband are dirty and beats
    Him; but olden days polygamy is in thing
    Me; yeah I agree, but remember our fathers bring them home to manage with ones at homes and reduce their chances of meeting other men, and most of our fore fathers fathered children that are not their own from their wives and kept quiet because they know they can't satisfy their wives but nowadays, Men don't marry the side chick to come and witness how nice of gentle man he is at home, but keep her outside to keep enjoying different dicks and living her life, while the one at home will be managing the day he get small strength and side chicks are on other important duties.
    This is summary of our discussion, in ten years time, if this cheating is not addressed,it will cause more harm than good especially to married people.

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  22. A lot of these men cheat to no end but when Oloni will start one of those her questions , when babes start answering come and see tears everywhere by men. Even me sometimes open my mouth like omo things dey occur!

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  23. My take here is that there is actually a lot of cheatings going on out there. These are perpetrated by both sex. But there are also good ones (men and women) who don't cheat. ( I got married since 2008) and by God,s grace have been faithful to the union (God is my witness). I also know a lot of very nice ladies but single and married that are very faithful. I will therefore advise that you look out for good men and women. You can do this by being very prayerful and asking God for one. Remember HE IS A REWARDER OF THOSE THAT DILIGENTLY SEEK HIM.

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  24. Before my divorce. I only had peace in my marriage when he cheats. He comes home happy and will not be violent throughout that day. I looked forward to his cheating. I felt happy about it. He thought I don't know but l knew everything. I stayed because I was TTC, invested so much in the marriage. I was afraid of the unknown. What people will say. I gathered strength. Got my confidence back. Stoped worrying about what people would say or how a divorced woman is judged by the society. Now if possible l can carry the placard on my forehead.. DiVORCED. Na who dey alive dey marry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you left. No One deserves that level of disrespect. It conditions the mind to accept the abnormal as normal.
      You will find the love that is good for you. Proud of you for saying no to crumbs.

      Delete
  25. Don't expect a man who is okay with fornicating to automatically develop self control after marriage.

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  26. Any married person that cheats, may his or her marriage crash.

    Anyone who cheats while in a serious relationship, may the relationship crash. Amen

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    Replies
    1. Godforbid this your prayer

      Delete

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