Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists - Do's And Don'ts In Relationship Or Marriage

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Saturday, January 15, 2022

Saturday In House Gists - Do's And Don'ts In Relationship Or Marriage

Today we will be focusing on Relationships, just before it leads down the altar and even after the dotted lines have been signed....









Let us talk about giving in a relationship- should the couple spend money on each other or wait until a commitment has been secured on both sides... How is your relationship or marriage? Do you give each each gifts spontaneously or turn the blind eye to birthday and anniversaries?



Let us talk about when it is still at the dating stage -  Should visits be made ? who should initiate visits? what if it is a long distance relationship? who is currently in a long distance relationship or marriage? How do you cope with visiting each other?


Let us talk about the transport fare - Is it ideal for a lady to ask for transport fare when visiting a guy? Are you in a relationship that you always have to ask?
Why is it supposedly OK for a lady to ask her boyfriend for transport money but not OK for a guy to do same? How is your relationship regarding this?


Let us talk about if it is necessary to shop for ones partner when spending days with them?

Let us talk about going out as a couple -who should initiate hangout or outing? Can the girlfriend invite her boyfriend out or behave old school and always wait for him to ask? Or a married couple always going out separately when they can go out together... What do you think about this


 Hopefully someone will learn a thing or two from this post...

Lets gist!

92 comments:

  1. It works both ways. Anybody can give. Take themselves out on a date. Spoil themselves on their anniversaries or something. Mustn't be gender base entitlement. These days everything is bring I bring. Well I'm here to learn as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On Anniversary anyone cn spend nd put things together to celebrate it.

      Back den, I was not married! I dnt ask my man for transport nor do I wait for a man to give me. If u do fine. But I love my own moni biko.

      But in all. I so much love tins to be mutual not one sided.thanks

      Delete
  2. Don't start what you can't finish,don't tolerate what u know will give u perpetual unhappiness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. Don’t pretend and accept all situations. Speak your mind and fight for your self.

      Delete
  3. Donts in marriage:

    1) Remove eye from your wife money;Provide always except life happens(still fight to turn that table for the sake of your respect cos a man's greatest tool in marriage is provision)..

    2) Dont joke with her extended family members she care about;its the easiest way to win her especially over..

    3) Dont leave the home afairs especially Kitchen chore for her alone,carry chair and sit with her then tell stories if you are so tired from the days hustle

    4) Dont do more than yourself and savings;always discuss your budget and plan with her..

    Two good heads are always better..

    5) Dont brag or leave above your means so as to claim "Man of the house"..

    If money no dey;open up and spend wisely while you keep hustling

    6) Dont Cheat,help yourself and your home..

    At least remember you eat the food she prepares and that's enough power she has over you..

    7) Never make her think,feel or See that she is in competition with anyone,treat her and your extended family with respect..

    So many more but these first..

    @MARTINS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No 3) I prefer being in the kitchen alone 😬, especially if the significant other wants to be chooking eye inside what I'm preparing. Huge pet peeve

      Delete
    2. Let me add to this.

      Be your spouses friend and not his or her Lord and personal saviour

      Play as often as possible (it gives u memories to think about in ur alone moments)

      Protect ur spouse from external forces (be it from inlaws and friends). This is particularly when you know you have a good spouse.

      Be very very very hands on with the kids. I'm referring to men here. Do not leave the affairs of the kids to ur wife alone.

      And yea, spend on ur spouse as often as possible. You don't have to spend too much. As little as a pair of pyjamas for ur husband won't kill u and u will see how he will be proudly wearing it.

      Take walks together where u gist about anything

      Most importantly, respect each other. RESPECT is very very important in a relationship

      Delete
    3. You will provide everything in the house and still sit in the kitchen with her! Doing what exactly? No man should listen to this guy. Pick one and six and maybe seven. Discard the rest. Why exactly should a man still be part of the cooking process after toiling day and night to provide for the home? Is he a slave? If I'm providing for the home 100%, which I would definitely,you may never catch me in the kitchen except I want to make a particular meal I feel like eating which I believe I'll make better. Cooking is a woman's job 100% the same way it's a man's job to provide for the home. Na una dey give these girls mind to dey shout "wife not cook", yet the same woman believes it's a man's job to provide but not hers to cook! Wonderful! Martins I want to believe your approach here is to attract patronage, which is good.

      Delete
    4. Ceaser, you can practise this with a woman who doesn't know her worth.
      How can you even provide 100% for a woman??? Will you buy her pants, pad and make-up???
      You make me laugh!!!

      Delete
    5. Na people wey dey support this 'master' be my problem sha.

      Delete
    6. @Number 3, a lot of women appreciate it when their spouse help out in the kitchen. You must not do all the chores in the kitchen but women appreciate little help here and there. leaving all the kitchen chores to your wife especially at the early stage of your marriage makes her feel like a maid. Yes the man went out to hustle but they are the little things that will keep the marriage going. Of course the wife too should look out for the little things her husband would appreciate, even though she shouldn't do it all just as the man shouldn't do it all in the kitchen. The emphasis is on the little things.

      Delete
    7. If you are providing 100% please stay out of the kitchen, there is 24 hours in a day, so there is enough time for story telling. Yes, women are not slaves, but don't cross the lines of decency in the name of civilisation. If and when your wife is sick or she travelled, you could start cooking for your wife and kids. That's if you know how to cook, don't fool yourself if you don't know how to cook. Outside the kitchen there are things you could do from time to time. Don't allow any woman stampede you into doing anything in the name of marriage. If you are not comfortable with my comment move on

      Delete
    8. Eka sabi give advice Ehn!

      I hope you take your own advise sha and truth be told you are still quite new in the institution of marriage to be so opinionated.

      Martins and Olawealth I hope this Una solidarity with the ladies you do here on the blog is the exact way you live your lives in real
      Life.

      Odiegwu oh

      Delete
    9. Martins if na so u dey in real life, u be correct man. May God bless and flourish ur home.

      Delete
    10. Martins your points are okay but I definitely understand and know where Ceaser is coming from. A man being in the kitchen helping his wife is all about his choice if he so wishes and shouldn't be a criteria to judge a better husband.

      For me, I see nothing wrong in that when it's not done on the regular. Again, a wife is not just a woman but your better half.

      Delete
    11. Agadi nau, please leave her, remember she knows all.

      Delete
    12. Martins you're beginning to sound soo fake honestly. I know you are just trying to be on everyone's good book but tone it down because it's becoming annoying. Don't give advice you yourself know you don't live up to.

      Delete
    13. Agadi but if I talk about my marriage in the negative light, I bet u won't be telling me I'm new in marriage.

      Marriages have packed up in less than 6 months, yet I've been in a beautiful union for about two years yet one certain somebody thinks I shouldnt have an opinion on how to make a marriage work. Nonsense and ingredients.

      Delete
    14. Then no woman should add shishi if we are to follow the cavemen grunts pretending to be advice

      Delete
    15. Martins please help me. How do I get Opay or Moniepoint POS machine.
      Please guide me on how to go about getting it.
      I stay in Enugu.
      Thanks as u await your reply.

      Delete
    16. Martins please help me. How do I get Opay or Moniepoint POS machine.
      Please guide me on how to go about getting it.
      What should I do?
      Where do I contact?
      I stay in Enugu.
      Thanks as u await your reply.

      Delete
    17. @Ceasar and Alexander, you might be providing for the house 101% , fine, but you can as well keep her company while she cooks, gist with her even do some lovey dovey. Nobody is asking you to come and grind pepper or wash mortar. Hehehe on a lighter note.

      Delete
    18. My husband provides 100 percent and he helps out in the kitchen.
      He sits with me and does little stuff. He helps a lot around the house and with the children too.
      I sacrificed my career to raise the kids and he's grateful for this.
      You people should leave Martins alone abeg.

      Delete
    19. Madam, abeg talk. Na you sabi marriage in and out. Nonsense and ingredients.

      Delete
    20. Eka dear, don't mind them oooo... Just do you jaree

      Delete
    21. Nawa for you people on this blog
      Let people have their own ideas on how they want their marriages to work.
      I personally don't care if my hubby is with me in the kitchen
      But I expect him to be a hands on dad and he helps out alot.

      So because a man brings in 100percent he can't wash plate while gisting with his wife?

      If he is tired ofcourse his wife will definitely understand and even ask him to rest, no woman wants to kill her husband, but you people make men who decide to help seem like weak men.

      Someone is already calling martins a fake man because that's how he has decided to make his home, if you want to be controlled by a man, by all means be but don't project your negativity

      No two marriages are alike.

      My husband is my partner and friend and even though he brings home the bigger share I make him understand that being being inclusive in the home and life of the kids isn't only for my benefit. I have so much memories of I and my dad today...I want that for my hubby and kids, let them feel safe.

      Eka might be new in hers doesn't mean you should shame her into silence or her experience doesn't matter.
      This would be my 9th year, I got married at 23...so I have seen a lot.

      Make your marriage however you want.
      You people say it's not good to spoil your wife, my dear if you don't spoil your wife is it your girlfriend you will spoil? There's no woman you will show love who won't treat you like a king... except you married a witch.
      Some of you are already suspicious of women before going in ...a man who is scared of his wife and treats her a certain way because he has heard stories is an insecure man who doesn't know or trust who he is getting married to, and if you don't know who you are getting married to, why get married in the first place?

      Delete
    22. This money issue nearly wrecked an abrodian marriage. Lady born bred and living with parents in US came to Naija to get married to this Yoruba demon who was remitting money home to take care of parents. He wasn't pulling his weight in the home bills as lady earns more. Na so wahala burst and lady told him he didn't marry her to be taking care of his whole family, lady was ready to quit a year old amarriage based on this. The guy had to 'bone' the family to revamp his marriage.

      Delete
    23. Ceaser, how many Nigerian men can provide for their home including the wife 100%?

      Less than 20% of our men can do this.

      Now, when a woman and her husband set out for work, they both close in The evening, the man goes over to hang out somewhere while the woman rushes home or even when the man goes home directly, he sits in the sitting room and watch TV or press phone while the woman sweats it out in the kitchen while also caring for the kids. She serves him food, feeds the kids, put them to sleep, sort what they will use the next morning, does a little cleaning, sleeps late, wake up early the next morning to cook breakfast and get the kids ready for school. The man wakes up and bathes, dresses up, eats or carry his filled food flask or just leaves for work without food to buy and eat in eatery.
      At the close of work, they continue the cycle.

      Saturdays, she cleans, cooks, go to the market, etc while the man hangs out with friends or just sleep at home and watch TV.
      You may say they should pay for some of the things she does in he house but truth be told, many homes cannot afford to pay the money, their purse is slim already considering the economy.

      Women pass through all these and still provide for the home, yet you men don't appreciate us.
      I will soon share my own experience in the first few years of marriage before I wise up.

      Delete
    24. You talked about having only one child in the morning, how many Nigerian men will agree to have one child, especially if she is a girl? Pls be realistic

      Delete
    25. Agadi na gwo...which one be she is new in the marriage? Is that what we are discussing here? If you wey don stay marriage for centuries no fit agree with wetin she write then it is disturbing. The other anons that are still beefing Eka, make una pray for una own blessings to come. But with this attitude it'd be difficult. When such comments about Eka pops up, you ladies are so quick to support them. This is a new year, change! Angry birds.

      Delete
    26. Mehn!!The number of bitter people that visit this blog sha!!Ceasar,they shouldn't listen to Martins who is married and already a father,but they should listen to you who is still single?!The other one saying that Martins sounds fake,yes,we know that you are used to pain and misery,but not everyone lives like that,you hear?!As for those who attack Eka Joy whenever she says anything about her marriage.. listen,bitterness is like cancer..it eats you up from within.. Keep attacking her o,while she joyfully goes on living her life..

      Delete
    27. 14:40 that was the part I found super hilarious. Martin's is a married and a father, a single man that doesn't even know his left from right is telling people not to listen to a married man who is carefully building his home block by block. The audacity!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣
      10 years from now, Martins pikin go don enter high school, old uncles for this blog go still dey form bachelor war lord.

      Delete
  4. For me, giving in a relationship goes both ways for two people who genuinely care about each other. I can call,buy gifts,visit but I must be sure I am on the same page with my partner as regards all these. Truth is,if u both love yourselves,u wouldn't even mind who does either of these things.. for me,I like buying gifts for my hubby,the urge is effortless. I could be passing and see a nice pair of shoes I think would look great on him and buy,like wise his personal wears too but hubby is not like that with me.He doesn't even strive to reciprocate,he laments about money but has enough to spend on side chick. I m wiser now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na men like Ceasar dey wash woman pant like mr Anita Joseph. People that bark like this outside are usually the weakest indoors, make una leave am. Stella I know he is your bestie but make I no find this comment o😐

      Delete
    2. Manipulative spouses are a terrible thing

      They are users

      Delete
    3. 16:54, you sabi wella

      Delete
    4. Anon 16:54 thank you for saying the truth jare. I know his type, he only have power on social media but na his type dey knee down dey beg woman.

      Delete
  5. When geniniue love is involved there is no does and don't. Everything works effortlessly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don finish talk.. Thank you.


      Lovelace


      Delete
    2. 👌👌

      Delete
    3. That's all
      When you care about someone all you want to do is help them and make their burden light.
      How can you see your wife suffer but because you bring 100percent you don't care.
      Abeg na your enemy you marry?

      Delete
    4. No too much talk, na this one Summarize everything.
      Caesar i know your type, na only smile woman go give you, money go begin drop from account, meanwhile paent you no smell, confirm simp

      Delete
    5. This is why you will see 40 plus unmarried igbo men going to marry ladies in their early twenties because they want someone that they can lord over and will be doing yes sir, yes sir for them.

      Delete
    6. Push up as in...a lot of men are their wives enemies honestly.

      Delete
    7. 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌

      Delete
    8. LMAOOOO @ANON 19:29

      Delete
    9. Eka Joy, you no lie. We have one here who's name begins with 'S'

      Delete
    10. Unfortunately, genuine love is hard to find. Most marriages are based on some kind of love but not genuine love.

      Even in marriages that one or both partners are almost self sacrificing, it may surprise the other partner to know each is taking steps not out of love but duty or training.

      Delete
  6. This matter no get one-size-fits-all manual but there are simple codes to follow depending on the parties involved. An oyinbo-oyinbo, oyinbo-blackie, blackie-blackie relationship no go use the same format or codes lailai. You cannot use the same "formula" for Chimamanda Adichie, Toyim Abraham and Tonto Dikeh. E no go work. However, for very regular folks with "African/Naija" mentality, here goes:

    1. The lady expects the man to spend his money or more money in a relationship, during courtship and especially in marriage. The man is expected to shoulder the bulk of their responsibilities while the lady "assists" where and when necessary "once in a long while".

    2. The man is expected to buy more expensive gifts and remember every celebration while an equally thoughtful lady is expected to reciprocate. For example, if you buy her a brand new car, you'll probably get a gold watch on your birthday or Valentine's day too. If you buy her single-drawn blend wig, you will get a 3-in-1 pack of singlets that will slacken after the first wash too.

    3. If they each live alone, the lady is expected to visit more while the guy will pay "surprise visits" once a while to catch any assistant/destiny-helper unawares. If the babe lives with parents/guardians, the babe will be the one visiting and huncle will only show face when the clap has entered dance level to make his noble intentions known.

    4. In a long distance setting, na phone and video calls be the fuel wey dey drive the relationship motor. Once calls are no longer made, picked or returned as frequently as before, the relationship haff lazdent patapata niyen. It is ideal that both parties visit each other (for a period not less than 7 days-2weeks) at least once before they finally decide to get married.

    5. As for transport fare, I hear south African ladies are even offended if you offer or give them sef. Hian! Naija for life o! If your relationship is not "strictly transactional", leave transport fare out of it. It is more respectable to call an uber for the partner who cannot afford t-fare on their own but if dem insist on giving you my sister, it is a Nigerian abomination to reject transport fare. Even the gods will be angry at your "arrogance". However, if your lover is a student or unemployed, just know that giving t-fare is a must to avoid hell-fire on the last day o!

    6. About going on dates, my stance has always been: "the person who initiates the hangout should pick the bill." Shikena! Daz dat about dat. No invite me come flex flex wey I no plan before, then expect me to follow you split bill or pay for your own flexing join when no be me invite you. Allow me to dey my dey in peace. No flex-tax me. I no be ndi Cincinnati.

    However, if we plan a getaway trip together, I don't mind contributing or sponsoring it especially if it's to celebrate a milestone. It doesn't matter if the man/woman is wealthy; it's a nice way to appreciate them especially if they are really worth it.

    7. Couples who are going to the same destination from the same location (read that again please) ought to go together if they are proud of each other. "Dey go first; I dey come for your back" means there is trouble in paradise. One person is clearly ashamed of the other.

    Shine ya eyes this 2022. Marriage no be modelling photo shoot o, so look well before you jump in make you no come fly out after 3 months or less. Chronicles can be about "good news" too; no be only for troubled relationships/marriages. May you all singles [and searching] find your ideal partners. May good people meet their fellow good people and may luciferians jam their fellow demons. Iseeeeee!🙏




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahha. So funny and true.

      Delete
    2. No flex-tax me 😂😂😂😂😂

      I love your points.. They are so true. Thank you 👍

      Delete
    3. Amen to your prayer

      Delete
    4. Amebonawork, good points. But as said every relationship has its on DNA there are women who earn as much as husbands who will never ever buy their husbands a gift, not even the unwearable boxers

      Delete
  7. The only manual in marriage is Love,respect and love...what works for A may not work for B.
    Martins spoke from the area of love what works for him and ceaser spoke from the area of Boss... there's definitely a lady meant for Ceaser who would not mind his nature but would not be happy being with someone like Martins....
    I come in peace🤩

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right. Martins is too calm for my liking. I like people like Ceaser but the truth is that he will hardly do all the things he use to comment here.

      Delete
    2. Martins too calm for your liking? Na Yoruba demon fit you. He’s the best human on this blog God bless him more. My prayer point is to marry a good man like him

      Delete
    3. As you wish me so shall it be unto you. God will give you that yoruba demon.

      Delete
  8. Ladies

    Never ever put all your eggs in one basket till the man marries you NOT just engages you because even engagement can be broke talkless of marriage

    I didn’t say sleep with all the eggs just have back up plan because men do the same and been doing it since forever but now they complain when ladies do it

    In marriage make sure vex money dey on ground because men will stain your white.

    Finally men and women have money before entering a relationship or just date your level because love is sweet o but when money enter it is sweeter hehe


    Okbye

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Women do not date down
      Don't don't below your beliefs, principles, standard of thinking

      There are poverty mentality rich men

      Also stop trying to change the inner man, attitude and principles about life

      Stop

      Delete
  9. Please I have a question. What do you guys think of a marriage where the wife uses her salary for the feeding of the family while the husband uses his for major projects of the marriage? That's what my husband suggested and he said he will provide my personal needs by himself.
    I'm honestly not quite comfortable with it. Am i over thinking it and not being inconsiderate? We are not rich, we are still upcoming.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What are the major projects? Are the projects feasible or is he jonzing you? I think you know the man you married better than we do. If you can take if for his word then you have no problem.

      Delete
    2. Error!!! So the family will eat your entire money you earn all your life (and pass it out to the septic tanks)while his will go into projects (assets) which will be visible all your life?
      What happens to shared bills on feeding and shared contributions on major projects like lands, houses etc with both your names clearly written on the documents?
      Pls don't agree to this.
      You will clearly regret it.

      Delete
    3. So far the projects are in your name too. Why not. Some men, will now use their project money to carry women. If your husband is not like this, please support him. Do it for your kids, so that nobody will feel slighted in the future. If the projects are not in your name too, put it in your kids name.

      Delete
    4. It depends
      How well do you trust your hubby?
      If the projects are in both your names fine
      If you both gain and make profits fine
      Also as long as you both contribute your ideas and plans, it's okay
      If you don't make monthly profit from his projects I think you should have a rethink.

      As a woman, always have something for yourself, people fall in and out of love, the truth is that not everyone will be together forever no matter what. It doesn't mean you don't trust the person.

      Just grow yourself, even while providing for your home, still save and invest your own.

      Delete
    5. Discuss your fears with your husband. We have a particular project and hubby and i contribute to it while i feed the home. Its an agreement and i have no problems with it.

      Delete
    6. Like I said earlier, what works for A may not work for B.
      I have seen couples who had such arrangements and it is praise all the way, also seen some that ended in premium tears...
      During a trial,guy man ceased everything cos his wife was feeding the family while he saved up his own for projects even when some of those projects had the wife's name...the woman literally started life afresh....

      Delete
    7. Pray to Almighty God for discernment. Then consider these

      First, you both must be fully transparent about your separate incomes.

      Second, settle the estimated cost of the big project.

      Third, you both should agree on funding of the project and household expenses.

      Fourth, agree on on each keeping some handy money apart from project and household money. Unless project is to be completed within 12 - 18 months and all funds are at hand for it

      Fifth, project should lifestyle changing - relocation with evidence or be a land or building in your both names as Mr. Husband Project and Mrs. Wife Project fully spelt. Not Mr. and Mrs. Project.

      Sixth, be ready to be involved in project physically. Let the landowners and neighbors see you without being seen as overbearing or bossy.

      Seventh, let all or most important expenses for the project (building or land) be in your both names.

      Eighth, PRAY to Almighty God for perfection of your plans in accordance with God's will

      Delete
    8. Whatever project you have, make sure your name is fully written.
      Not Mr & Mrs Lagbaja Mr John and Mrs Nkiru Lagbaja.

      Delete
  10. have an open mind in case anything happens be prepared emotionally. he/ she might cheat, die suddenly, nobody prays for bad things to happen. always save in case something happens

    ReplyDelete
  11. Do's
    1) Do believe in God (fear of God)
    2) Money ( Money makes the world go round)
    3) Perseverance/Contentment
    4) Friendship ( as in your BBF)
    5) Selflessness
    6) Partnership
    7) Communication ( That's the main Key)

    DON'T

    1)Love ain't shit(Don't believe everything is love. It does expire)
    2) Don't Keep Malice/Grudge ( Spill out if your partner offends you and make sure you don't sleep over it)
    3) Don't involve 3rd parties in your affairs
    4) Don't ever compare your spouse with others.
    5) Don't hit your spouse.
    Truth is: even if you abide with all these rules, the marriage can still fail, human beings can change at any time... I guess everything still boils down to the omnipresence of Nos 1( God) in our lives.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If there's domestic violence please involved 10parties 🤣

      Delete
    2. Anon16:01, shine your eyes. Know exactly the project 💯 otherwise you will keep using all your money to run the house and the burden no be moi moi. Hubby made me do that since he knew my pay,my small savings will still enter the home bills grew, I ended up paying rent and school fees since the allegedly projects failed, one business deal or the other, he was taking financial risks, only few paid off. When I changed job, I didn't tell him the pay and was able to start savings, I don't want to be stranded if there's any emergency. Discus before you sign the dotted line.

      Delete
  12. I'm the kind of lady that never asks her partner for money not because I'm proud or something, I just don't know how to ask person for money, I'm getting married soon and I'm supporting my husband to be with some of the expenses not because I was compelled to do it but because I feel it's d right thing and I just keep praying he doesn't take advantage of that by skipping some financial obligations when we finally settle down. One thing about him is that he is very domesticated which I love so much about him. I pray God make our marriage blissful and give us the wisdom to run the home

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don’t start what you can’t finish

      Delete
    2. Support him and guide him to succeed so that you won't be taken advantage of. All the best

      Delete
    3. Make sure you have your own money.
      Make sure you have your own account with your own money incase of incasity.
      Make sure all your assets are in your FULL name. 'Mrs Surname' is not your full name.
      And lastly, if you enter marriage doing independent, self sufficient lady, na you go suffer.

      Please go ahead and find out for yourself.

      Delete
  13. Many women are emotionally unsatisfied in their Nigerian marriages and I'll explain why from my own situation.

    I have been married for three years and counting and my husband has never for once courted me in the marriage. You know that situation where you know that someone is consciously thinking about you and decides to make you happy,court you, date you or just spoil you. It has never happened and to think I used to be a hopeless romantic. Now, romance seems off to me. If I'm watching a movie and couples get romantic, I quickly scroll pass because I cannot relate.

    That said, I have tried to court him. I buy gifts, ensures he gets the best birthdays and he has started stepping up in that aspect unlike before.

    However, because I don't see that emotional satisfaction ever happening, once my kids are grown and more in charge of their emotions, I may move on and get the best out of life.

    Many men also take financial decisions without listening to their women and most time than not, it goes bad. Guess who everything then falls on? The woman. Here I am, almost a year in, paying for a mistake that could have been avoided and it's driving me nuts. Months in and out, I almost have to beg to survive as my salary can barely carry us through. Meanwhile, when any money comes in, he spends in, won't even say, wifey use this to buy yourself this or that.

    It is well o. It is well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hugs to you, you will pull through!

      Delete
  14. Marriage I believe is a partner ship...the role of the male and female differs, however, they ought to work together as a team...as one...men love your wives even as Christ loves the church and gave his life for her, and women submit to your husbands, these two commandments are not mutually exclusive really...if you love your wife, you would want to help her protect her, provide for her, keep her from harm. and no doubt she will adore you, cherish you, and serve you like the king you are...now because we ain't perfect, we will fail and offend our spouses from time to time...this is where forgiveness comes in ..be ready to forgive and over look some short-comings,sadly though...this generation isn't patient, and there is a silent gender war going on...where men feel they are being emasculated and women feel they have had enough of being any man's door mat..at this rate...we need the grace of God to make relationships work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stella's not the person enabling these comments,some will disappear when she logs in especially those ones firing Martins Aboy and Eka Joy her favorites.
      Fake advisers who are only two years in marriage, we dey watch 😂😂😂😂

      Delete
    2. 👌
      20:35
      Thanks.

      Everyone knows their stories are not real

      Delete
    3. Anon 20:35, take ur frustration elsewhere. I am not the reason ur marriage is upside down.

      Delete
    4. Martins, from his character here, his stories may actually reflect his reality. But for the other one, no comment 🥴.

      Delete
  15. Hmm, one thing I have learnt ooo in marriage is e get no manual, so I choose to take it one day at a time, many things/ situations influence marriage as time goes on

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  16. In my home, we live like siblings, no woman work and no man work, where I'm weak, he steps in and where he is weak I step in, even financially, we are cool like that and the peace in my home is immeasurable, thank you Jesus. I dread men like Ceasar, that's how someone I knew was, he later died and left his wife and kids stranded.

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  17. Most vocal Nigerian girlfriends and wives be screaming don't date/marry down and men to provide.

    See ehn, that men to provide mode does not recognize the wife as a partner in a marriage. It is as archaic as the view that husbands are not to engage in house chores and or physically caring for children of the marriage.

    Where both earn equal and is the man to provide? Where the woman earns more or almost equal as the man, is the man still to provide?

    Enough respect to all the wives who earn and provide (not "support") within their full earning capacity as their husbands also provide (without shirking or dumping on their wives) in giving their families the best.

    I know a man in his sixties who tells me regularly that his mother contributed very well in paying his school fees. The woman was a farmer and an illiterate. Yet some today's female bankers, professors, lawyers, etc will freeze hell if they are asked to contribute to their children school fees because it is the man's duty to provide for the family.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Food is ready for all the simps raised by single mothers to tell us how to be a man that they were not raised to be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your comment too make sense

      Delete

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