Hmmm...
TAGGED A WITCH
Why do people feel when you are too good to them or their children you are a witch?.
Why do people feel when you are too good to them or their children you are a witch?.
I have shown this beautiful lady going through divorce pure love from the depth of my heart. I love her children so much especially the girl because she is so cute and innocent. Her smile melts my soul with joy.
I buy things once in a while for them. Sealed gifts like cartoon of ribena, biscuits, cloths etc. I dash her money most times but will always tell her to show her mum.
Lovely baby. Less than 4 years. Each time she hears my voice. She will rush to my direction or cry to get my attention. A friend of the woman stopped me one day and asked me to stop relating with the family the way l do as they see my actions as witchcraft .
In her words, They feel you are a witch and what to initiate her children. She said some negative things that hurts the mind and added that everything I gave to them is thrown to the dustbin.
I got disgraced out of marriage due to TTC and l have shared my story here. I naturally love children especially toddlers. My heart is broken. I have never visited any native doctor before more or less being associated with witchcraft.
Why throw things l bought with my money to the dustbin instead of dashing it out. Why tag my kindness to witchcraft?. God please show me mercy and open my womb. Maybe if l had a child. I will be tagged a kind mother showing motherly love.
*This is sad but please before you feel bad, why not ask the Lady? what if this friend is lying? You dont need to mention the name of who told you but let the lady know that you know and you feel hurt about it all.
Dont conclude until you find out the truth.
Don't feel down about this. Like Stella said, let the woman know what you heard about her and after that, keep to yourself. It will be better for your health. May God grant you your heart desires.
ReplyDeletePoster,pls ask the mother of the child if what you were told about your gifts are true. No time for crying in private when you can have it all in the open so you can face front and move.
DeleteI am TTC myself and I love kids. My neighbours kids are always in my house cos I love the company of children a lot,but the day I hear or sense anything...I will lock up straight. I have enough on my plate to deal with and have no strength for negativity.
A colleague who I thought was a friend as we were all ttcing together got pregnant at alst and became hostile to me. I borrowed myself sense and faced my front. She has resumed and.i didn't bother to get up afrom my desk to carry her baby as I don't want anyone to tag me with a name that's not mine. I have learnt to love those that love me and face front for those who don't. It's not by force. I know God will bless me soon with my own babies,I am not even worried anymore.
Kindly ask that woman if she's throwing those things to the dustbin, if yes, tell her to dash them out or return it back.
DeleteReading this I felt bad. All I can say the lord will smile at you. Your kindness will be reciprocated. Keep being kind and good.
ReplyDelete💔💔
DeleteSame with my someone I know. I don't give them anything now. I ignore even if I have to spare. I didn't even do half as much as you have done but for some weird reason their mother started giving me attitude.
I quickly stopped. Someone that will abandon her little kids and go elsewhere doing nothing, She will still ignore you for feeding her hungry children.
Sincere groups that offer health or academic services to underserved communities are around. Join one or just give to them instead.
There are people who are genuinely in need. That woman has rejected God's help not you.
Madam, don't worry. Just turn your charitable heart in a different direction, it mustn't be to someone living near you.
Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you—Ecclesiastes 7:21
ReplyDeleteBut what do you expect with the pessimism with which human relationships are promoted. Terrible quotes against friendships, neighbours, colleagues, step-relatives etc are accepted, celebrated and swallowed hook and sinkers. I believe Pentecostalism contributed a lot to the disheartening suspicions that never used to exist in my childhood days. See how this suspicions has slowly degenerated to hate and the anarchy in our society today. NO LOVE. They don't expect it, they don't recognise it, they don't accept it.
DeletePoster sorry. I feel you. I wish I had the right words with which to console you but don't worry. Do you mind visiting this little girls mom and tell her what you heard? It's possible this person is jealous and wants to spoil things for the woman. Look her in the eyes. Her reaction will tell you what you need to know. But no matter the outcome, don't let it affect the quality and quality of love in your heart to give. You must learn to refuse to let this change you. That is what it means to be a strong woman. To Love truely takes courage and a heart durable enough to withstand many hurts and yet remain sterling. Cry a little and wipe your tears.
Madam i don't believe this, the witch in the story is the amebo who rushed to tell u those things, if the woman sees u as a witch, u would have noticed it through the reaction of the little cutie,maybe instead of rushing towards u when she sees u, she will stand looking at u from a distance with an expression of shld i go or not.
ReplyDeleteFor the fact that she still rushes ip to you, madam nothing like that pls. People can be very envious mehn, talk to her or watch her closely if u have the time. U are a blessing to that family pls, don't stop.
👍
DeleteAs for me, the ideal way to squash gossiping and back biting is to put it all out in the open.
DeletePoster, get your self esteem up, then round that amebo with the lady she said tagged you a witch and calmly ask the amebo to repeat what she said in the other woman's absence.
You might lose both friendships but you need to know the truth, instead of believing in 'he said, she said' shi.
You can apologize to the amebo later, tell her it was a BV that advised you to round them up 😅
The person who told you that, might be JEALOUS of your kindness to the woman and her children.
DeleteTo have closure and learn,why not discuss it with the woman and see her reaction then listen to what she is saying without mentioning the name of the person who told you.
Someone's body language will either betray them or tell you the truth.
Poster , look out for signs to be sure of what the woman said. Its possible the amebo is envious of the benefits the other lady is getting. So try to see if any clue can confirm her statement. Person never born no be sin 🥺🥺 it's sad how people tag TTC as a price for whatever.
DeleteWhy not meet the woman in question and ask her for her opinion in matters like;
ReplyDeleteThere is a friend of mine who I know to be a kind woman (she always buys things for me when she goes shopping) . She is so kind to her neighbor and her kids; buys gifts, gives money etc.
But they keep throwing her things away thinking that they were given in bad taste...What do I tell this my friend to do about this family...?
Hear what she has to say, watch her reaction and know for yourself if that is true. if she advises you to tell your friend to stay away, then stay away. If she advises you to ignore, then ignore the talebearer.🤔🤔
Thank you
DeleteI really like this suggestion, poster can you try this?
DeleteE-hugs to you.
You will surely carry your own children soon.
My sister it is well. God will definitely wipe your tears away. Kindly do what Stella ask you to do. Are you medically fit? if yes God will definitely bless you with your own kids.
ReplyDeleteOh dear
ReplyDeleteWhy are some people like this,not fair atall...God will show u mercy
Thank you.
DeletePoster what did God say about the barren?
God said,there shall be no barren in the land.” His Words are to be taken for what it is, for He can never lie. “Has He said a thing and it did not come to pass?” (Isaiah 46:8-11).
Grab this scripture, no matter how long, God will come through for you.
Nigerians (or Africans) are the weirdest bunch ever. Everything is tied to witchcraft. You post ur pregnancy online, witches will eat ur baby, u post ur husband online, village people will scatter ur union. Now u are nice to someone’s child and u are termed a witch.
ReplyDeleteI have little doubt in my mind that the woman said so. The things people have used TTC women eyes to see ehn.
Poster, I pray with all of my heart that God wipes ur tears away.
Kindness these days is frowned upon with suspicion they can’t let you be kind in peace . This world is full of shit
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmm...poster relax joy comet in the morning,there is always two sides to a story,that person might also be part of the gossip,don't trust anybody.
ReplyDeleteAs for the woman,stop giving them money,and face front.
Years ago when I was trying to conceive,I gave a new mum gifs with a pure heart,someone I called a friend told her not to use it that ttc mothers are always wicked....it was a long story because I confronted her and she was just blabbing(she is a bv and might see this comment).today I'm a proud mum of a beautiful girl and surely I will have another one by God's grace.
Poster leave them,they are reminding God on your behalf,God will visit your womb soon.
Amen
DeleteAmen.
DeleteShame on the bad belle BV
Shame on the witch bv. I'm sure she dropped advice for this poster too, hypocrites. Unamikot
DeleteShame on all evil people.
DeleteArike, I celebrate with you, more blessings!
God will repay your kind heart, dont worry...
ReplyDeleteI say a big AMEN to your prayer - may you have your own children.
ReplyDeleteGive the family space for some time and see if the lady will call or ask after you. This will help you know how she really feels about you.
When and if you start relating well with them again; pleasedon't give the gifts directly to the toddler, rather give them to her mother and tell her it's for the baby. Or you make sure the mother is present before giving her anything, that way it will be very clear that you have nothing to hide.
God please remember this lady and wipe away her tears, turning around her situation and let people gather to rejoice with her soon in Jesus' name. Amen!
ReplyDeleteAmen
DeleteThis just broke my heart, poster I'm so sorry for what you went through, please do as Stella said, please ask her in a very polite manner, it's possible the friend is lying, but if she is not lying hmmm, try to forgive and move on, don't seek revenge or let it get to you, this simply means your testimony is near, I wish you well poster 🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteNext time ask the parents if it's okay. I prefer giving non food items or money unless I know the family very well. Even the purest minded Nigerian is worried bout witches and poison because the things our eyes have seen, the mouth can't tell
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, all such food gifts were tossed in the bin. Only few people's food we were allowed to eat. Can't blame my parents. This world is a tough place.
The woman simply doesn't want you to be having joy with her kids. She feels her life is better than yours and you should be indoors always lamenting, crying and miserable. Like how dare you have happiness with my kids? Many people don't like to see others happy and successful. If you're sad, it makes their day and makes their own lives happier. You should know that people are different and even though you have a free mind towards others, they don't feel the same way about you. Your laughter and happiness irritate them. Don't ask her anything. Yes, she said those things. Learn to mind your business and let those who feel they're better than you be.
ReplyDeletePlease speak with the woman first. The bad things happening around has made people no to know the good ones when the meet them
ReplyDeletePoster, have you considered adoption? You can adopt a baby girl as a divorced woman. As for this story, from my experience, you will be shocked at the things you don't notice if your mind is 100% pure. Buy things for them and and act as before, this time observing both the mother and her children closely to know if they have such in mind about you. Poster, infertility is a normal issue that affects people from all walks of life, it's sad you lost your marriage because of it but please cheer up, nothing dey happen, at least you have a source of income.
ReplyDeleteI feel the amebo is lying. She must've said that out of jealousy.
ReplyDeleteMadam in as much I would love to concur with Jeweluchi on her Stance, I would also like you to stop your show of love to this family.....
ReplyDeleteYou need to use style to ask your friend that a woman you know is fond of throwing gifts bought by her friend to the dustbin, use that trick and see what she has to say before you confront her.
Thou, what the other lady might be true because so many people died that too.
Conclusion: limit how you show love to people around you because some might think you want to use it to bewitch their kids or them.... Africa as a whole has messed up our way of thinking.
May God almighty activates your own smiles Madam. Very touching!
ReplyDeletePlease I totally agree with Stella too.
Stella you are good ..in my opinion though, I would say this is the way alot of Nigerian women view other women who have no kids..., cursed . Possessed or even witches who ate their babies. Poster continue to be good to children ..not hers though..if you can, do adopt..I am sure you can adopt as a single woman, but then again if you want to remarry that may just be a problem, as most Nigerian men are not open minded enough to accommodate a single mother...pheeew what a society!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the lady in the book “ A woman in her Prime”
ReplyDeleteThat’s the society we live in for you. Please don’t stop being good, God will in due time silent all your mockers and accusers.
I used to do sweet things for kids in my area. I give money, buy biscuits, sometimes even carry them and gist with them a little until someone told us how the parents of the kids perceived our kindness. Words like rituals, witch, sacrifice, child destiny tappers and other words were used to describe my family. I didn't stop because I felt it is hearsay. One evening, one of the kids saw us coming and didn't move a muscle. He kept looking at us and looking at another adult. We even called out his name and waved, lil boy just acted numb. I figured it must be one of his parents. She gave us the stink eye and even warned the boy not to move right in our presence. So, I have stopped all those miss I-don't-have-kids-so-I-must-show-love-to-all-kids palava. I don't want anyone to say I bewitched their child or I'm the reason their kid is sick or even ask me to born and replace their child for them when I'm yet to born for myself. The world is weird and until you have your own, I've learnt to man my lane. I can't shout pls.
ReplyDeleteIt's their loss because when I give it's a sacrificial giving not because I couldn't have used the money for something important.
DeleteI don't give to children near me anymore. Before they will blame me eternally for what I don't know.
Just imagine that woman's temerity to display her rotten thoughts to your face. God no go shame us.
Poster and bv yeye person, who why not adopt or use a surrogate?
DeletePoster and bv yeye person, why not adopt or use a surrogate?
DeleteHey God, some people are pure evil, hey, TTC couples passes through hell.
DeleteYeye person, just keep holding on, God got ya.
Poster, my God wipe your tears and grant you your own children. No need to feel so sad, the society is messed up sadly, many people think that other humans esp TTC mum's are out to bewitch them.
ReplyDeleteIf you still want to gift the small girl stuff, do so Infront of her mum. If possible, take them to the shop to buy.
She should stop all gifting asap cause anything she does will be questioned. When ppl see you as inferior it is a complete waste of time to try to prove your worth to them, they will only see you as inferior and desperate for their life. The best is to give ppl like that space and let them be. You cannot be friends with someone who sees you as beneath them. The so-called friend views the BV as beneath her because she has not given birth and is divorced. Nothing she does will be viewed as clean, she has to completely lock up her hands. Sadly, this is the only solution. I wouldn't even follow-up too much with the friendship, see if your lack of visiting and calling make her to reach out and see how the BV is doing. I feel like if the poster stop all communication she will not hear from that woman at all.
DeleteRelate with them as usual and STOP gifting the children anything. Channel your gifts to others who might not even know you. Don't stop giving because giving is God's commandment for receiving.
ReplyDeleteYou need to know your neighbors temperament before you ask her to avoid insults.
Her frd is saying the truth, they feel you want to use their kids destiny, stop giving them anything
ReplyDeleteThe friend might due to jealousy tell you all this, in other for you to stop helping the woman. Look for a way to ask the woman in question, it will help you find out the truth. And please don't fail to update us...
ReplyDeletePls don’t give people’s children food unless they have specifically told you it’s ok
ReplyDeleteDon’t give my child a snack a toy nothing. Just leave them alone. Play and go
Child may even be allergic
Did you read where she gave the children food? Na wah
Delete19:28
DeleteI buy things once in a while for them. Sealed gifts like cartoon of ribena, biscuits, cloths etc. I dash her money most times but will always tell her to show her mum.
See Dem 🙄
DeleteYou sound hostile.
DeleteGo back and read, she mentioned giving only sealed food items! Nigerians and stupid hypocrisy, poster may God bless you immensely for being a channel of blessing, please redirect your gifts to mission homes or orphanages since those ones have chosen to throw your kindness in your face.
You won't hear till you enter police matter. Don't give food to someones child unless you have their permission
DeleteI agree with you on the food thing. I am even the type to tell ppl to take their kids with them when they leave the room even if I am in their home. I don't even want anyone leaving their unrelated child with me for even a second if they are not present, take your kid with you even if you are going to the bathroom. Cause I don't want anyone saying I wasn't looking out for their child and the child swallowed something or got hurt. You take them with you just like a duck does abd let peace reign.
DeleteMay God answer your prayers on marriage and children.
ReplyDeleteThe information is so painful to you. But rest assured that it has nothing to do with your waiting time to birth or your being single.
What you narrated happens regularly in the typical Nigerian society, even to men, married men with children, and to married or single women with children. So, it is very unlikely that your informant is lying.
Do not confirm from the woman or confront her except you are ready to disclose the identity of your informant because the suspecting mother will deny. She will also know who told you and mark that person as wicked or a gossip. In African/Nigerian societies, disclosure of an social informant is a no no.
Just stop giving food items to children without first seeking their parents' permission. As an aside, it is even risky for several reasons as you now know.
If you sense a real genuine need, give the mothers money. If your heart says to give the needy, save up and buy a carton or as much and go give at the nearest SOS Home or Orphanage.
If it will be of any comfort to you, I saw a mother throw away an agbalumo (cherry fruit?) I gave her daughter. Since then I have seen more. I do not blame mothers who do that. They may also have seen more than me.
Best wishes.
Poster, how could you swallow what they told you without seeing any signs or proof.
ReplyDeleteHave you not been seeing then wear the clothes and other stuff?
You don't believe every hearsay
It's sad how the culture and climate can seep into ppl and make them into something that they were never created to be. Honestly, this sounds too out of this world to be made up, especially if that person who gave you the warning was never around to see you give the child anything.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to clarify go ahead and ask, otherwise save your giving for those who will appreciate it. You can love the child from afar by praying for her and lifting up her spirit before God.
Keep your gifts. People does not have empathy. It is that thing that is paining you that they will use to shame you and condemn you.
ReplyDeleteI have experience similar thing. I am 34 single and a lady from my church about 44 also single. She picked interest in me knowing fully well that most of her age mates are married with children, she was always giving me gifts, ranging from money and materials. Infact, i dedicated my Saturdays to her cos we must go to the market for shopping regardless and she mostly pays 90% of my purchases. The mumu me was always sharing my gift with my frd without knowing that the whole family is jealous of me. To my surprise, they started sowing the seed of hatred by lying to me that the lady is a lesbian that i should not allow her initiate me. That didn't change my mind towards her cos i know she just needs company and someone she can relate with as a single lady. When they saw that i wouldn't bulge, they went to the lady herself to lie against me and all manner of things that i can't even imagine. To cut the long story short, they are now family friends with the same person they were afraid will turn me to lesbian.This life is very deep! No matter what anyone says against another, i always say to myself,find out the real truth to set yourself free from hating someone that may be my helper in the future. And to crown it all, we were all church members oh. Poster, call the woman that told you the gossip to come and say it in their presence and see how she will turn the case against you. Be careful! The real devil is the gossip!!
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you dear.
ReplyDeleteI recalled what happened to me last year Dec 24th, was going to Taste fried chicken to get cake for my friend for her birthday and i saw one woman hawking with her small boy, I was at the junction waiting for my friend when i saw the woman and the happy little boy coming to my direction, the little boy was so happy and that melted my heart. When they came close, i gave the little boy money and the next thing i heard was mammy water they have sent you, the woman gave me insult that i will never forget in my life, people started gathering, some were begging me others are looking. So many things came through my mind that day, wat if.... hmmm since then i minimize the way i give out and people to give.