This is an update of the CHRONICLE i sent
Sorry for late update, I haven’t been myself in two weeks, and I’ve not really eaten anything tangible , I’m really down and sad , my phone has been switched off until today and my friend has been staying with me to monitor me.
I called off the wedding!.
After we met with the pastor and the pastor spoke to him and told him it’s not done anywhere he apologized and we proceeded with the arrangement until our Invitation Card came out, we already both agreed on which of our pre-wedding photos to use for the IV but when the card came out I was surprised to see it’s another pictures which wasn’t nice AT ALL, my eyes were closed in the pics and he wasn’t facing the camera he was looking side ways, so I told him calmly that such picture can’t be used for something you want to use to invite people , it’s called invitation for a reason so it has to look inviting, and he didn’t tell me before changing the picture so I was surprised.
I told him we are both getting married so I feel he’s meant to carry me along if there’s going to be any changes and he said he’ll tell the guy to use the other picture we greed on earlier and I said okay, but to my utmost surprise when it was time to start sharing the invite it’s the one with the not so good picture he started sharing to people and I wasn’t aware he has even started sharing the card.
I told him we are both getting married so I feel he’s meant to carry me along if there’s going to be any changes and he said he’ll tell the guy to use the other picture we greed on earlier and I said okay, but to my utmost surprise when it was time to start sharing the invite it’s the one with the not so good picture he started sharing to people and I wasn’t aware he has even started sharing the card.
To cut everything short I found out it’s the lady who chose another picture the not so good one after the initial one we both agreed upon. Its like something fell off my eyes, Remember in previous post I mentioned he has some other character that I felt I could cope with well I’ll mention some, he doesn’t carry me along when making decisions in the relationship he does things his own way, even when I express my own opinion it doesn’t count!
He still does it his own way and it usually fails!.
He also has a terrible temper, he’s not hot tempered but he has a short and quick temper but he has never raised his hands on me before. He also can be very loving this minute and be extremely cold the next minute that I’ll keep asking what’s the problem but he will say nothing, after some time he’ll become lively again and I thought it’s mood swings or something.
He also yells and shouts at me for something that’s not worth it even in public which could be embarrassing sometimes, then almost immediately draw me close and hug me.
Someone mentioned in the previous comment If I’m taking all the rubbish because he’s financial okay, No! What he collects monthly as salary is what I make in one week plus in my business and he has tried to join account with me by trying to make my customers be paying me into his account but I refused !
Someone mentioned in the previous comment If I’m taking all the rubbish because he’s financial okay, No! What he collects monthly as salary is what I make in one week plus in my business and he has tried to join account with me by trying to make my customers be paying me into his account but I refused !
He’s also fond of saying please can I have so so amount there I’ll pay you back by month end when I receive my salary and he has never paid back any of such money before!
He also lies a lot, lying is like the air he breathes, he cannot do without lying in a day and I’ve tackled that by always taking everything he says as the opposite, but most times when I confront him he will say he never said that or that the incident never happened at all even if it just happened one minute ago! And he he will get angry and scream that I’ve lied on him that he said or did something he just did a minute ago!.
And no I’m not desperate to become a MRS I only love him deeply from the bottom of my heart and God sees my heart. I’ve been a good girl to him and his family and he has never had any reason to regret ever knowing or dating me so I don’t deserve this!.
Most of the people we’ve enlisted their services already like caterers, event centers e.t.c says they can’t refund , I don’t know what to do with my clothes and bridesmaids cloth. Maybe I should give it to the church choir to sow uniform.
I can’t eat or do anything, it’s like I’m going to die.
I can’t eat or do anything, it’s like I’m going to die.
Die how? God just saved you from a Marriage filled with Chronicles and regret. let him marry the other Lady.
Please give out the clothes if it is a painful reminder..... DONT GO BACK TO HIM!
Hmmmm! It is well dear, you'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time.
The worst thing that can happen to you in marriage is marrying someone who doesn't have a mind of his own. You will suffer for nothing. Good thing you called it off
DeleteMy dear you won’t die. Thank God you can now see clearly and see other faults you cnt live with. As for the cloths and everything you’ve paid for. You can donate it to a couple from church who cnt afford them. Don’t forget, time heals all pain. Its better to feel this pain now than feel it everyday for the rest of your live in marriage. You’ll be fine.
DeleteElle
The poster is childish, immature and totally unprepared for what a relationship entails. The fact that she wanted to marry with all the 'negative' attributes listed shows her judgement is completely lacking. You're getting married and fighting over petty issues... Na WA.
DeleteThe character assassination just shows your own lack of character.
Sorry for the rant, but people like the poster just piss me off.
Poster dont vex me this evening. So you cant see what God has done for you? Well, you will eventually. I promise you, a few months from now you will look back and thank God for relentlessly loving you to the point of saving you from your dumbness. Because what da actual hell is this???
DeleteTemper, lies, shouting at you in public, broke, then loving another woman, amongst others? Eeewwwwww...
God please deliver nigerian women from low self esteem because what the actual hell?
Congratulations is all I can say sha. You dont know what God has done for you
Babe, chin up... He is not worth starving over. Imagine o, the girl choose the unflattering pic for the invite. Babe, na God save you. Even if he comes bagging, shut him out. Let him go and marry the picture selectee since that one no get sense.
ReplyDelete'Selectee' won't even marry him, that's when his eyes will clear. She's just having fun controlling his life. He's going to come back when she reject him the second time, you have to be strong not to be where he left you in all areas of life.
DeleteYou will be fine soon. You just saved yourself from a lot of things that can make one go crazy and I applaud you for that. Not everyone can be that brave.
ReplyDeleteFor now, focus on healing before you decide on what to do with the stuff you already got for the wedding.
If he comes back to apologize and make promises to you, do not accept him back. You deserve better.
Sluttychic.
God really safe you
ReplyDeleteThank God you listened, I pray that a good man that'll love you for you will surely come ur way and all these will be testimonies very soon. Abeg, try and eat o
ReplyDeleteLucky You!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm a guy and I got myself into a wrong marriage. It was HELL
we are no more together and I have known peace since she left.
You don't know what God has done for you. Don't give out the wedding gown because you will be wedding next year to a very nice guy maybe me.
Relax and remember the lady who send her chronicles who almost married and called it off.
The next person she married was unexpected and it has been wonderful
See as you shoot your shot Sharp Sharp no wasting time 😄😄😄
DeletePoster shey you don hear no kill yourself for man we no worth am at all. If you had gone ahead to marry him this pain you are feeling now will be child's play compare to what you will be feeling when he starts showing you pepper inside the marriage. And maybe then with plenty baggage.
He should go and get married to the other lady. If at all she will even look his side. She go throw him away like tissue paper.
Yes
DeleteDon’t give out your wedding gown
Use it as a point of contact for your next husband.
This man is TRASH
Bottom tier man that has nothing to offer
A lying, low self esteem, short tempered man.
Lol
Shift and run far away. God has saved you.
Remember this, God can never have better plans for you in your past than he has in your future.
The one in front is going to be better
Make thah your confession.
That was the confession I held unto after my ex broke my heart and God gave me my husband that loves me in ways that makes me cry sometimes when I think about it.
Chin up babe.
You gained. Not the other way round
Mma Nwachukwu
GOD saved you from tufiakwa
ReplyDeleteMourn the relationship
Move on from the complicated rubbish that was loading
I love your courage sis,e-hugs to you🤗🤗you will be fine.
ReplyDeleteSee how you listed more than 10 utterly worthless characteristics in a man and you say you about to die,
ReplyDeleteOnly one man lies like shit, doesn't carry you along, has a terrible temper, has mood swings, etc etc. Instead of you to be rolling on main road in thanksgiving for dodging a nuclear missile, you say you wantu die, lolll. Some of you ladies are just growing without sense. That you are in love with someone should not make you daft.
The matter no tire you. So if picture selecter didn't select the unflattering pictures, you would have still gone ahead with the wedding. God just saved you and you should be thanking Him.
DeletePoster please don't roll on the road o😅 but chin up, you just dodged a bullet.
DeleteThank you Anon 15:46. I have been refraining from commenting since I read the post because I don't want to insult the poster. See the nonsense someone wanted to marry, and enter stupid situation with two eyes open. Wipe those tears you are wasting, work on your self esteem and choose better next time. Better eat food and celebrate that God has delivered you.
DeleteAnd some of you are commenting without sense! Haba! Where is the kindness to this lady who took such a huge decision! She should be applauded, she's already down, don't make it worse for her! You think it's easy to call off a wedding? Some of you are heartless.
DeletePoster you will be fine, trust me. It takes time but u'll get there.
Atleast you have known the red flags to look out for next time. I wish you all the best.
@15:46, I sometimes ponder
DeleteOn what some people call love, how is it possible to still love one with all these disgusting qualities.
It is possible to love someone who is not worth it. It happens everyday. I am glad the poster was able to make the right decision finally. Better than marrying and later divorcing. Naturally it would hurt but poster all will be well. Please don't forget to tell us your testimony by God's grace.
DeleteSorry dear sis,I am super proud of you for calling off the wedding.i wished I had courage like you. The guy you explained is just like my ex.
ReplyDeleteFew months into the marriage he would always compare me with every woman he had met in terms of everything ooo,from sex,career,not getting pregnant,not dressing in a certain way,not doing things in a certain way.He will say something and deny he never said such,still swear to prove nonsense point.chatting with ex and new girlfriends.He was using his friends template to run our home.I almost ran mad but thank God for blessing me with a good family.
You will be fine sis,such a man will make you loose yourself.cheer up babe!
I think you made the right decision
ReplyDeleteSteve Harvey said something that I believe applies here. He said stop the habit of collecting red flags.
A red flag is red for a reason. Once you see one, run away
BOOM!! But will they hear?
DeleteAlways so desperate, calling it love.
Love iranu oshi.
Somebody is treating you like shit, and you claim to be in love.
You must have been terribly deprived growing up.
You are suffering before wedding seeing red flags everywhere, still planning to enter marriage where men tend to be as lazy as fuck, doing the bare minimum and expecting wives to be housekeeper, nanny, cook, washerwoman, coach, fuckmate, nurse, market runs, school runs etc etc while still working fulltime and contributing more than 70 percent of their salary.
Apart from a diseased prick what does he bring to the table?
If not for the pressure of society, who would marry those useless things?
Wow..I'm super proud of this poster.
ReplyDeleteThis could actually be the best decision of your life and you're starving yourself.
Pick up your life and live it to the fullest,Until you stop being sore,You won't attract the man that you deserve
Most of us here have experienced worst,I have.
Don't worry,You will be fine.
Engage in fun things,watch comedies,stay with family and friends.
Above all,time heals but don't wallow.
Hmm so the reaaon he wants to marry you is beacuase of finances. It is God that saved you ooo
ReplyDeleteUhhm ok oh just know that a broken engagement is better than broken marriage,but how will you cope if the right man didn't come in time
ReplyDeleteIm happy for you dear. Pls never go back to him. He will come back to have sex at least but don't open legs for him no matter how sex starved you are. Cut him and his "main chick" off totally. That girl would have made your marriage miserable with his permission. He would have put her on the bridal train against your wish, run to her house when you have a little misunderstanding, if he becomes rich tomorrow, he would have abandoned you and married the girl. If the girl even wants to punish you, she would say yes to him in his "not so rich" state and tell him to leave you, he would do. God saved you from anights of tears and sadness that would leave you looking older than your age
ReplyDeleteNne, GOD will see you through.
ReplyDeleteGood and compatible man will locate you and you will live a happy and fulfilling life.
Poster. Get up now and dance. Dance dance and dance some more. You dodged a major bullet n you should be celebrating your courage.
ReplyDeleteMy elder sister married a man with this same issue of not carrying her along n yelling at her, without the lies tho. 12yrs later she’s saying she can’t take it anymore. Treats her like one of the children instead of a partner. And the signs were very much there before marriage just like yours. He picked her wedding gown n chose her friends that would be in the train.
She’s just separated and is filing for divorce soon. Years of depression and low self esteem. Trust me you not want to experience such. He values the opinions of everyone else but hers not like she’s not smart and intelligent. Steady subjecting their children to toxic home environment by yelling at their mom at the slightest inconvenience.
Better broken engagement than marriage. Let him go n marry his mentor crush. Nonsense.
Delete12 YEARS???? God forbid.
I'm always amazed how women can steady tolerate absolute RUBBISH.
Ordinary shout, I will just block you FOREVER. Go and shout at your own family. If you don't know how to engage and express yourself as a man, go and learn somewhere else. I was not born to rehabilitate anybody.
12 YEARS????
Even 12 seconds, I no do. Na soft, sweet, easy life get me. No stress.
Imagine how you have damaged the psyche of your children watching your husband denigrate you daily because you want to answer MRS.
Even after all these terrible attribute he displayed, you want to die😏
ReplyDeleteInstead of you to thank God and thank us, sis biko up and move on, give other guys a chance too, don't mourn too much for that yeye relationship that was dead on arrival.
One last thing, Do not go back to him ever!!
Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉
ReplyDeleteThe guy was not into you. He was eyeing your money. Forget the money you spent and celebrate your deliverance! Rise, shower, order your favorite meal, eat and relax.
Hmmmm i wish i can see u, i wouldn't stop hugging u for this powerful decision. That side chick is possessed with the spirit of chinchi(bed bug) she would have troubled ur marriage in a way that u may run mad, imagine using an ugly pics for invite, so ur guy took her along with him to the printer's shop. This witchcraft character of hers might push her to poison u, after they both finish milking u dry, biko go and give thanks to God. U dodged a big big big bullet.
ReplyDeleteBig one oo..
DeleteAww poster don't worry you will be fine. You made the right decision and its perfectly normal to feel the way you feel now because you loved him.
ReplyDeleteHe might come begging, but please don't go back to him. I pray you meet an amazing guy soon and even if you don't meet someone else soon, please never settle for less than that what you deserve. My prayers are with you
Tufiakwa to that man. You want to die ABI? Try get sense small and go do Thanksgiving to God Almighty. Imagine it would have been 3 is a crowd marriage.
ReplyDeleteYour food you have not been eating, go give to people who needs food you hear
Lemme equally add to what Stella said, if possible do Thanksgiving
ReplyDeleteI'm happy on your behalf, you espaced what could mar your journey in life. It's sure going to be hard considering the level you both have pushed the relationship to.
ReplyDeleteAll you need now is to create time for fun, go out more, make good friends, attend nice event.
Please, consider visiting an emotion specialist to survive the stage you are and come out refine.
God will channel your path into the arm of the one who will cherish and love you.
*escaped
DeletePoster,you mean you're starving yourself because of a man with all this baggage you just mentioned, my dear all you need do now is thank Jehovah for saving you from the disaster (marriage) ahead.
ReplyDeleteIt’s not easy to call off a weddinhv
DeletePoster that man only came for your MONEY!!!Just imagine him trying to make your customers pay into his account, guyman never loved you..Dont worry you will be fine,try and talk to them to at least refund half
ReplyDeleteThis thing called love!!!
ReplyDeleteI understand you.
I will advise you to focus on food not Bcos u said you've not been eating but bcs that's how I get away from all this love trauma and brouhaha.
You'll be fine las las
🤗
You and I both. I become a foodie to console myself. Buying wine, suya, chocolate, cake, fast food etc. But it is sort of consoling. Lord have mercy. Lol
Deleteplease come back with your chronicle testimony update when the Lord has blessed you with a hubby that truly loves you (not just occasional displays of physical affection that you described here but in everything else is trash), the one who truly loves and cares about you.
ReplyDeleteOya o. Time to rebound fast fast. Check your friend zone. Keep it moving. The earlier you rebound, the faster you heal. He ain't worth it.
ReplyDeleteI have been there.
Sapphire I always look out for your advise, you are so real
DeleteYour advise sometimes is so ridiculous. So she should carry emotional baggage and trust issues to a new relationship without taking a break? You think another man is on her mind now? You talk like you also need to work on your self worth sapphire and stop acting like a door mat in a marriage just to keep a man!
DeleteSapphire No wonder why some of your advise on marriage screams low self esteem. Rebound most times don’t help! Some get lucky most don’t.
DeleteMan, thank God the poster did not take your advise on her last post, it was so mind boggling and would have led her into a deep pit
DeletePoster, your God is alive and I’m happy for you. Some people did not get the help of their Chi to push them out of such a useless relationship the worst thing you will do for yourself is rebound! Take some apart for yourself, reset whatever way you think that made you conclude that this man would make a good spouse. Your psyche needs healing.
DO NOT REBOUND!!!
All these things you listed as things you could cope with are BIG DEAL. Anyways, na love cover your eyes. Thank God you have seen the light.
ReplyDeleteSorry ehn
You will heal in no time and meet your own Prince that will love and respect you. That guy no love you chacha. He was just tolerating you, and marrying him would have been your worst nightmare. God with replenish your losses.
Na wa o. Better get up and eat. You just dodged a bullet. Congratulations. I salute you.
ReplyDeleteMy darling it’s celebration time for you be happy, how can he say he’s crush must be in your bridal train. The lady is the one he wants not you he’s just using to to satisfy her. If you had married him, the day she sends him to kill you that would have been your last day on earth. How can she someone you don’t know be the one planing your wedding. Please be happy Oya go and eat. We your online siblings are here for you, if you need us tell us where you dey we go organize come, this chronicles just dey vex me since day one. Thanks for the update feel free to send more because I know say him go soon call you or come find you.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, eat and give thanks to God. Your perfect match is very much round the corner. Marriage is a lifetime journey and it's ment to be enjoyed and not endure.
ReplyDeleteStarve yourself because of man! When u are not fasting? No nahhh. Please pamper your self and enjoy because I just dodge a carterpiller with no break.
ReplyDeleteWow! I went to read the original chronical or first one. Wow! It reads like the royal saga involving Prince Charles, Diana and Camila. Prince Charles really loved Camila but the RF didn't like her, then they arranged for him to marry Diana. He was married to D but all the while he was still with Camila even though Camilla herself was married. Prince C and Camilla would laugh at D behind her back. Camilla would even taunt Diana. At one point, Diana expressed her frustration and said they were 3 people in their marriage. Sad! Sad! Abeg this saga is not good. Later, Prince Charles divorced D, and would go on to marry his first love Camilla. Abeg you made the right decision to leave this dead on arrival relationship.
ReplyDeleteBetter a failed engagement than an unhappy or failed marriage. Forget the money you’ve wasted, it’s a good price to pay for ur happiness
ReplyDeletePoster , I am so happy you took the bold strength to call off the bondage you were about to go into . Since I read your first chronicle, I always pray you don’t get into that marriage as it was clear it would have made you miserable.
ReplyDeleteSurely , you will be feeling down but it will just be for about 4 - 6 weeks , you will surely bounce back stronger and God will give you a better man sonner thank you can imagine . Please keep the clothes you bought, you will surely be making use of them as the right man will come.
Stay strong !
Poster you just avoided a time bomb.
ReplyDeletePoster a big congratulations to you.
ReplyDeleteU did really well.
You won't regret this decision at all.. It's the best you made.
The guy is not worth it at all.. I'm happy your eyes are oone now.. Cry if you want to but stand up and live.
Here is what you will do. Arrange with your tailors to sew the clothes for an orphanage near you. On the supposed wedding you will throw an asoebi party with the orphans. No loss here after all wedding, birthday, dedication etc all na party.
ReplyDeletePoster please take heed to this advice,orphanages works wonders! Since your caterers won’t refund they should prepare the meal for orphans,try it and see how God will change your story. I’m a business woman and I can tell you giving to orphanage and widows has open doors that I can’t begin to mention. You will be fine dear,e-hugs to you!
DeleteI'm happy for you dear. And I pray that the man who will love and cherish you will find you soon
ReplyDeleteI really don’t know or understand what’s in marriage that ladies or women want to enter into desperately and no matter what .
ReplyDeleteImagine dodging all these bullets and still saying you’re starving because you gathered courage to do what you should have done from the beginning.
Seriously what you listed here should have been a deal breaker even besides his love of his life issue : a man with anger issues, doesn’t see you as a partner , has poor money attitude, interested in your money , belittles you and you say you genuinely loved him, pray tell what did you love ?
I really believe we need to teach women what love means or what love entails because this ain’t it , this ain’t it .
Anyways congratulations
Sell everything, wedding gown shoes everything. What you cannot sell, give out.
ReplyDeleteWhen you meet a decent man who genuinely loves you, start afresh with nee new things. Eont ne surprised if you are the one financing the wedding and paying your dowry.
You need to build your self esteem, otherwise uph will still enter the next relationship and be treated like trash. Don't jump into another relationship and dont use anybody as a rebound otherwise you will suffer.
She should seriously work on her self esteem. As in kaiii it’s so so low damn!
DeleteMy dear don't starve yourself over someone that will stress you later in the marriage,you just jump over a lunatic, changing behavior, listening to someone rather than you......Be strong and move on,a better person that deserve you will locate you IJN........ Josaria
ReplyDelete...even the right decisions can be painful sometimes...so she chose the unflattering picture, very anyhow somebody 🤔... Leave her to choke on her man, he was never yours! Chin up this too shall pass! *Hugs*
ReplyDeleteeven the right decisions can be painful sometimes..
DeleteYou are so right dear
I agree it’s painful, probably not so much the loss of the man, but the loss of a the dream of a marriage, the loss of a companion (no matter how shitty he might have been).
DeleteI understand. But poster don’t let it weigh you down too much, you have made a monumental decision that will impact the rest of your life, take in the feelings for a while but then stand up and get on with your life, there is much better out there.
And no, do not Rebound with anyone, DONT DO IT!
Take your time, know yourself, know how you love and how you should love, because for you to see all these crimson flags and still think you should marry him, something is wrong somewhere and you need to fix it before venturing into a new relationship
Awww! My darling, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It feels like you're going to die? Of course, you would feel that way. You just watched your whole world crumble right before your eyes. It's a feeling, the shock, despair and complete hopelessness. It's a feeling, it will pass. Take time to grieve, don't rush the process, go through the motions so you don't carry this resentment into a new relationship.
ReplyDeleteWe may feel he isn't worth your tears, but he means nothing to us. He is a man you love, it's unrealistic to think your love for him will disappear overnight, it wouldn't but eventually it will wane. However, sweetheart, guard your heart by perishing the thought of going back to him. This guy was a bomb waiting to detonate. I was astonished as I read through your writeup. Even if the lady weren't in the picture, with how you described him up there, that isn't the man a normal lady should want forever with. We all have flaws but, my God! How do you settle for someone who constantly puts you down and makes you feel irrelevant?
You think your heart is breaking now? Consider this "Mickey Mouse" compared with what was awaiting you in future. Your misery would have been astronomical and getting a second chance may not be as easy. Like the saying goes "sometimes man's rejection is God's protection". Let him stay gone, sweetheart. When you meet the right man for you, you will thank God for this "calamity".
This feeling will pass, trust me. We, ladies, are more resilient than we realise, the strength of a woman is mysterious. You will get over this, I know a lady who was stood up at the Altar, of all places. Can you just imagine the trauma? She's living her best life now, she's a mum and is married to an expatriate. We can laugh about the fiasco now. It happened a while ago but she looks nothing like her past. You too will look much better than what you've been through, my darling. Just hang in there, your best days are still ahead.
e-hugs and kisses.
Take your time to heal. You saw the warning signs and red signs but because you loved him more than you loved yourself, you were willing to take all this bullshit along side a female that tells him what to do. Love yourself more, work on your self esteem please and take some time before getting into another relationship. Praying for total healing 🙏🏽
ReplyDeletePoster you will get over this just a little more time and all will be in the past. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriy
ReplyDeleteIs he from Udi? Is his name starting with C and he's the last born? Jump and pass oh, he'll never change
ReplyDeletePoster, congratulations to you. You did the best thing. Cry if you must but in the long run, you will look back and thank God. A fine loving man will come soon. I'm proud of you
DeleteHmmm. You really need to work on your self esteem because another man may come with the same or some of the red flags as your ex and you may go along.
ReplyDeleteI'm finding it hard to understand how you even got engaged to this kind of a person with all the red flags. You mean it took using a bad picture on your invites for your eyes to be opened?
Poster let me not see tears in that your eyes again. Are you mumu? You think marriage is a child's play that you will carry yourself and marry efulefe. Better cook and eat better food and thank your maker for loving you too much. Good ridiance to bad rubish.
ReplyDeleteIt's ok to cry and weep if you feel like. Cry all you want and then chin up. 2 weeks is enough to mourn and feel sorry for yourself. You took the right decision and should be proud you decided to put yourself 1st. That is why I'm proud of the younger generation. The rubbish some our mothers endured and normalized shall be phased out by fire by force.
ReplyDeleteJust Invest the rest of the wedding money in creating a better version of you. Treat yourself to a baby girl life. You have earned it. A better man will come if you believe.
“The rubbish some our mothers endured and normalized shall be phased out by fire by force.”
DeleteAMEN ooooo Serious AMEN!!!! It’s time to start modeling self dignity and self respect for our future generation of girls and boys.
I was concerned about the other lady when I read your post. I had the same issues when I just married my husband. But never knew he kept in touch with his ex and some other woman who rejected him. He will call them when i was working and he had no job. It was very painful but i have move past that. If you would have married him you will have so much trust issues and obses with who he talks to. It unhealthy. Be strong sis. Just because you are sad now doesn't mean you will not be happy in the future. AM HAPPY YOU CHOSE YOU. 👏👏. He probably love you just for the money and stability you have. Tou are stronger than you think. I wasn't that strong to walk away and I am dealing with the consequences after 2 kids and 10 years of marriage.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteDear poster, congratulations!!!!
What’s that quote about courage again? “Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.“ You chose happiness, sanity, and self respect. You are worthy of being in a relationship where you matter and you know deep within you that you deserve better. You listened to that still small voice telling this is going to be a disaster. You acknowledged the uncomfortable feelings you had about all of this and called it off. You chose not to let societal gossip, fear of what people will say, deposits lost to vendors and other pretty considerable costs hold you back from making that important decision for your future. I really applaud you for your courage because what you did is not easy. God bless that friend you have because a friend in need is a friend indeed. Give yourself time to reflect and heal before making any major decision. You will likely look back on this experience and give baba God the praise.
One thing I hope you will learn from this is to be more honest with yourself about what you want. Do not overlook bad behaviors in a potential partner, that’s settling for less. Don’t ever lose your sense of dignity and self respect. Don’t be afraid to establish boundaries on what you can and will not accept for yourself in friendships, relationship etc., and stick to it. It is well with you.
To me, I will say you were desperate, because you saw all these faults and still wanted to get married to him. I know nobody is perfect. So if the lady did not choose the pictures, you would have still gone ahead with the marriage. I feel the real reason why you canceled the wedding was because of the other lady, because if she was not in the picture, you would have still gone ahead and married the man, despite all these faults you are listing.
ReplyDeleteGOD HAS SAVED YOU
ReplyDeleteI WISH I WAS THIS LUCKY
Makachukwu! She does not know how lucky she is! Some people wish their chi would have stepped in and forced them out of useless situations when they were too blind to see for themselves
Delete