Hmmm....
BIG ISSUE
I married a divorcee. According to him, his wife starved him of sxx, doesn't cook, a reckless spender, and doesn't dress well.
When he met me and told me all these, I decided to make up for those lapses, did everything, cooked, dressed up real good and bitchy sometimes, pro in bed. I snooped one day and found out that he is still being cozy with his ex wife, they have 2 kids together anyway and I have 2 with him.
My problem is he calls her baby, uses sweet words and is all too friendly with her.
In one message, he asked her if she still has the purple lingerie he likes. Now I have ordered for a purple lingerie with garter. I'm not competing but I just want my husband to focus. She replies him well and all those qualities he hates, she has them, so why is he all lovey dovey if he hates her qualities?
His debits alerts nko? I haven't received such money and I have 2 kids while she has two. I have asked him about his overfriendliness and attention towards her, he didn't even bat an eyelid.
I have been enduring, upping my game but nothing is changing, instead if he's angry, he locks up. I do not want to even think they are sleeping together because that's where I will seek her out and confront her personally.
Some women lose the husband but keep the lover...Go figure!
They are still entangled. Your husband is still in love with her. Deal with it oh.
ReplyDeletePoster your trying to compete with his ex wife is a big problem. That kind of thing does not end well. Na your husband be the wahala because na him dey give am audience. They share kids but it is totally wrong for him to sleep with her, except officially back as a wife. Try to do your findings. You don't know what he is telling her. All the best and update us.
DeleteSorry o
DeleteBut what exactly would you be confronting her for?
Face your hubby now
I don’t even know what to say
Push up (original)
Poster..your husband Don run you street oh. Man is eating his cake and having it. He is having the best of both worlds. Sorry oh. It's either you endure or lay down the law and if he refuses to behave...you take a walk..
DeleteConfront the ex for what? Is she the one that is dishonoring the marital vows? Why can't you ladies be wise for once? Instead of you to confront your horse and you want to go and disgrace yourself. Do you know what he is telling her about you? If you don't fear men then you are gone
DeleteWhy will u confront her personally? Did she make any vows of loyalty to u?
ReplyDeleteShe probably left him because he was randy and then he made up all those stories about her.
Me, I don't know how to advise you but just know this, that man has no iota of respect for u if he still calls his ex baby and what not.
You will continue competing with whoever. You either pack ur bag and leave or ignore or take a huge stand with him and demand that he starts treating u with the respect you deserve as a wife
You spoke my mind exactly. That man is still in love with his ex wife and there's every possibility that he's still sleeping with her. The only way out here is to either endure or take a walk.
DeleteGod bless you for this reply.
DeleteWhat is the ex wife's business with you.
Abeg.
Exactly! Confront her that what? Instead of you to face the person asking her about lingerie and calling her baby. You better don't go an embarrass yourself.
DeleteNow you want to go and buy purple lingerie, if he says he likes her face now will you go and do surgery? It's time you wake up to your reality, he still loves his ex so you kinda have a co wife. Either you accept it like that or move on with your life
Don't confront her. Your hubby is the problem. From making you cover up lapses, am sure he also has bad habits that made the ex wife never liked
Deletebut he failed to tell you that.
Don't mind her. The man lied to her. It was the wife that left him, that is why he is still calling her baby and the likes. Instead of her to tackle the liar she is living with, she wants to go and collect disgrace. The man may even chase her out of the marriage if she confronts the ex wife
DeleteWhy would you confront her?
ReplyDeleteShe's not your problem.
God Bless you o @ Spontaneous. How can a dumb woman like you go ahead to marry a man wey wowo en first wife anyhow without thinking say him 'himself' no get any kain fault?. Dear poster, I am sorry but you are the dumb one here and you have been played. That man ain't gonna stop seeing his first wife for anything..not even you. Its obvious the man like woman too much and that might have been what caused the initial separation from his first wife. To him, you're just a side hick wey dem elevate en status, nothing more. Chop slap and receive sense. If you like, go confront person wey you no suppose confront o...Odondo oshi.
DeleteIf she dares to confront the woman,she go collect.Madam please face your hubby.
DeleteI wish na my type she go confront I go give an wotowoto
DeleteMadam, that woman is now the side chick. Your husband lied to you. He only painted the woman bad so you can see him as the Saint.
ReplyDeleteThe bitter truth is that there is nothing you can do. You have to learn to live with her. Just assume she is the first wife and you are the second.
Another advice I have for you is to stop competing or trying to outdo the first wife. It's obvious your husband is still in love with her so stop trying to compete.
Stay in your lane and BE YOU.
Hmmm...let me wait for the elders to chook mouth into this issue first before I say my own.
ReplyDeleteAbeg chook mouth. One can learn from a little baby.
Delete😏omo I'm even scared on your behalf. I think you, me and everyone reading this chronicle already knows whatsup with them.
ReplyDeleteThere are men who enjoy the hunt more than the catch. You are now his wife. You have been hunted and caught. Your husband is back to the excitement of hunting down another prey. If you want him to start getting excited and pursuing you again, then divorce him.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he has a cordial relationship with her, Abi? They have kids together and she has to be friends with him, not all divorces end in beef. They have seen each other naked before, so images of her jiggly waist won't erase in a jiffy.
ReplyDeleteIf male divorcees have kids they adore and you marry them, carry your cross.
DeleteThe end go be "entanglement"
She's not the problem na.Haba mana!
ReplyDeleteIt be nice you keep talking to your husband instead.
Face your husband, now the wife Don turn side chick
ReplyDeleteHmmmm! Wahala no too much laidis🤷are you sure they are divorced??? They are still very much in love and I think there is nothing you can do about it.
ReplyDeleteInstead of competing with her,why don't you sit your husband down and have a heart to heart discussion with him and know your stand.
This your post look like iyale and iyawo kind of settings,your husband is hiding something from you.
Ire o....
You will seek her out and confront her because she was the one that deceived you.Women,why is it so easy to fight your fellow woman.Incase you have forgotten,she was there before you and would continue to be there . You better relax now and manage the little attention you are getting, before she takes all of them away.
ReplyDeleteNo peace for the wicked
ReplyDeleteYou are still doing competition on top the one chance you entered?? smh 🤦🏽♀️
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh out loud
DeleteNa real one chance.
DeleteShe snatched nonsense
DeleteConfront her for what? Is she the one pursuing him? Poster,abeg face your randy husband and allow that woman enjoy her divorce in peace. You think she didn't know what she was doing when she divorced that man? Your husband is the problem here.
ReplyDeleteAs for the debit alerts, you mentioned she has two kids with him. Do you expect those kids to starve or disappear all because you married their dad? Please be considerate and empathetic.
Women Sha 🤒!!
ReplyDeleteLook at the way this Man is eating his cake and having it back. And all you can think of is how you can confront her??? Are you okay like this?? Them swear for you?? God forbid bad thing!!😷🥴
It's the "competing" with the ex that I find very funny. What a desperate second wife. Correct one chance marriage. If I hear say you go near that woman eh? You better face your loose cannon of a husband o.
DeleteGo for your credit alert too. But with sense and tact o. Accept that you are a second wife and live in peace. Ah! Yes, give your husband peace. That may be your joker. Best wishes.
ReplyDeletepls focus on ur man and leave the woman alone.have a conversation with your man and be calm.but he can never cut off his ex wife from his life cos they share kids together and interestingly,she doesn't nag him,that's the magic which draws ur husband back to her
ReplyDeleteOmooo. That your husband is a shameless man. He obviously lied to you. They are not married but definitely flirting with each other..
ReplyDeleteShe likes the attention from him, he sees her as 1st wife.
"Women supporting women" in the mud.
ReplyDeletePoster, your husband is definitely sleeping with his ex wife. Take that from me. Maybe he still loves and enjoy the sex he's getting from her.
ReplyDeleteYou know how a man behaves when the sex is so good.
I cut off an ex who won't stop telling me and comparing how he loves our love making than the man she married. So many negative things she spoke about her man. I know she's trying to lure me into something I don't think of ever doing. I've to block her.
Forgett about her bad sides, the way some men reason baffles even me as well 😁😁😁. There's definitely something he can't just let go about her and I think it could be the sex and the way she serves it.
My advice - start planning for yourself and tomorrow for any eventuality. Are you working? Try and start saving at this time. Make sure you're getting a good financial support from him at this time should in case anything goes wrong tomorrow between you guys.
I repeat, make sure you don't fall to nothing if things goes wrong tomorrow in your marriage.
Ololololololo.
ReplyDeleteMadam, You is 2nd Best.
Deal with it.
Your Children are 2nd Children.
So Because they are Divorced,They should be Enemies?
Ask a Yoruba Friend 2 tell You the Adage about 2nd Iyawo
Poster,You spoilt your chronicle with your last sentence.
ReplyDeleteYou should face your insatiable husband that wants to have his cake and eat it.
MEN oooo,What do you people really want!!!
Having cakes and eating them just like the first wife here who now have the cake (husband) without having the burden of going to the kitchen to bake (care for the man).
DeleteIt is a question of the insatiability of mankind.
Poster my dear, the woman was generous enough to leave the house so you can get your own space. Just manage it like that. Wahala for second best.
DeleteWharamess.
Poster o, my mother said that some men are better to have as lovers than husbands . His wife most have found out and left the marriage, now she is being treated with love and affection.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about what you are going through.
Are you a fool ni? Confront who? You had better not kill yourself because of a randy goat. You're in a polygamous situationship right now and until you start making the right person the right questions and taking the right decisions, you'll just be your hubby and his ex' foot mat.
ReplyDeletePeace
Why would you confront her,it's obvious he's still in love her that's why. Madam just face front.
ReplyDeleteConfront and chop woto woto, no be here we read last week how ex wife give new wife woto woto? 🙄
ReplyDeleteIt's well with you
ReplyDeleteIt must be really painful living in another woman's shadow huh poster? Sorry about your ordeal but you really need to stop competing with her and concentrate on yourself. You seem to admire the one who doesn't dress well so much and want to overdo her. You can't win your husband back by wearing purple pants like her. Those are the things he left for you so be yourself.
ReplyDeleteMake she de careful before they reconcile and throw her out.
DeleteThey will claim the poster jazzed the man.
Ikwakwakwa
You have no business confronting her. Accept he is with the both of you. Good afternoon
ReplyDeleteThat's why I can never marry a dirvocee. They will come up with different stories to tarnish their wife's image just to get the cookies. I remembered when I did my NYSC in Bayelsa in a particular ministry. The P.A to the permanent secretary then keep telling me how he detest his wife and he wants to date me only for me to get an invitation in the office that his wife just delivered a baby .
ReplyDelete😳😳😳
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 the baby wasn't from him, the holy Spirit came upon her 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 the baby wasn't from him, the holy Spirit came upon her 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteThis is the problem with women, a man is divorced and you think the woman was the problem. He might have been the problem and lied to you. You think a man will ever tell you he was the problem in his marriage? He knows he was the problem that is why he is nice to her to make up for those times he fucked up. My dear face your man and leave the other woman she is not your problem. Even if you kill her that man might not still be focused on you. They are just Randy men you can't cage. Know this and know peace.
ReplyDeleteThis is the problem with women, a man is divorced and you think the woman was the problem. He might have been the problem and lied to you. You think a man will ever tell you he was the problem in his marriage? He knows he was the problem that is why he is nice to her to make up for those times he fucked up. My dear face your man and leave the other woman she is not your problem. Even if you kill her that man might not still be focused on you. They are just Randy men you can't cage. Know this and know peace.
ReplyDeleteThis story is just like what I and my ex hubby had,we chat everyday,he takes care of us,call me special names,we even share nudes and whenever he comes around we only romanced but the day I found out he has remarried I stopped all that with him.Despite being married again uncle doesn't understand why I changed, although the financing hasn't stopped and he still claims me like his wife.whenever he needs to submit anything official just know it's my info that will be there.
ReplyDeleteSome people will say why are you treating an exhubby kindly,I don't know myself but we both can't help it because whenever i ignore him for long,he will start pleading that we should think of the children and be good.
Him hanging around doesn't make me feel like I am even single.
I think I am happy the way I am.
yes oh. Be happy at another womans detriment. You are a side chick to your ex, I hope you enjoy your life.
DeleteRead it again,and stop jumping.
DeleteYes I am happy.
Seems he enjoy afar wife,you sef pack out and become a beloved mistress to him
ReplyDeleteThe funny thing is that sometimes we women believe that the other woman wasn't doing enough that's why the marriage didn't work. You are on a long thing. You have to know that some men are just bad, you are no Messiah to save them. See you wanting to kill yourself over nothing. Doing this and doing that. Ask Nollywood actresses that snatched other husband's they have all picked race from the marriage. Don't allow any man deceive you. You can't just saved them , they are already lost.
ReplyDeleteBottom line stop killing yourself dear. Start living your life because you have just been existing since.
You are his second wife, he only lied to you that he was divorced
ReplyDeleteQuestion: Were you dating him while he was married to her? If yes, then no need to vex, just experience what she went thru whilst u were the side piece. If NO.. use wisdom for your peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteHe probably made up those stories about his ex wife just to make his wife. Embrace yourself and the see better you in you. Think positive and focus more on you and your kids.
ReplyDeleteHe definitely lied to you, too bad you didn't do your own background checks. And pls stop trying to out do your co wife, it will only get worst.
ReplyDeleteLive your life my darling......This is the reason some couples seeking for divorce are asked to stay apart for sometime to see if they can reconsile their difference. He has children with the ex so the connection will be there until she find another partner of her own.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is still sleeping with his ex,you have to endure and don't confront her.
ReplyDeletePoster, your husband is definitely sleeping with ex. Stop competing with her. Either you endure or you leave.
ReplyDeleteThe ex has realized the man is better off as lover.
Are they truly divorced or you are the second wife? Yes u should not be enemies because of divorce but remarrying and still asking your ex wife about her purple lingerie get as e be sha. Have a talk with your husband and leave the woman alone
ReplyDeleteThe first red flag was that he painted his ex wife black. I mean how can a divorce take place and your husband told you he has no single fault in it? Is that possible.
ReplyDeleteYou should have known is lying.
He probably painted the ex wife bad to deceive you into marriage.
The woman probably left the marriage because of your husband’s randy life. Sorry some women cannot endure cheating.
Reason you must do diligent findings before accepting to marry man who was previously married.
My advice : Let your husband know that you are not comfortable with the relationship going on between him and his ex. (He might not even send you) Keep letting him know your grievances. Fine, they have to be cordial, but not to the extent of him calling her baby. You have no reason to confront that woman. You have no business with her.
This snooping you are just doing, is what you would have done before you agreed to marry this man who came to you as a saint.
Also remember to pray. Stop competing with the woman. It will hurt you more, as she is not even aware someone is competing with her. Give yourself peace of mind.
Sista Jane.
Women palava haa
ReplyDeleteThe grass is now looking very yummy 😋 from the outside o. This your horseband Eehn...
ReplyDeleteIf you don't want to embarrass yourself better don't try this your move, else.... Hmmm!
Madam poster you want to confront the legit wife, good. The man told this and that and you thought you will do better, hehe. Did you hear from the woman what made her to leave your so called hosenband? Madam mind your business and chop the one due to you and let that woman be.
ReplyDeleteWhy would you confront her....did she pledge any loyalty to you... ???
ReplyDeletePls your issue is with your husband and from your story it's either you accept your hubby as a philander or walk out if you can't cope.
No matter the length you go to upgrade just to please him can't keep a man that wants to stray, so pls just start doing YOU. Do what makes you happy always.
It is well with you....
A lot of you are trying to paint the ex-wife as an innocent party, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. She has some blame in this case!
ReplyDeleteShe and the man are divorced, and although only they know the real reason why they split...she shouldn't be allowing this man to call her names like "baby" and "sweety".
She should have created boundaries from the moment of their split, or at the very least, when he remarried! Clearly, several years have passed, so why still allow this over-familiarity? I am not saying they should be enemies or hate each other, but under no circumstances should he be comfortable enough with her to even mention the word, 'lingerie' in her presence...not to talk of even asking if she still has the ones he likes!
Most of you here...if your exes sent you a message right now, calling you pet names...I am almost certain a good number of you will reply with insults, curses, and stern warnings!! Am I lying?
I also highly disagree with the BVs that tell married women not to confront the sidechick, because she didn't recite any vows.
Have you people never heard of "aiding and abetting"?? In a lot of cases, even simply showing someone where their intended victim is, can give you a similar sentence to the perpetrator. If you knowingly sleep with a married man/woman...be prepared to face the consequences! Simple and short!
Thank you for this. Inukwa calling her baby and sweetie and the ex wife is shining teeth. Another person's husband is calling you pet names and you're happy about that? Let's be considerate here please.
DeleteDo not marry a divorcee as long as the wife is alive simple. God only recognizes the first wife! If they decide to come back, then poster better deal with it.
DeletePoster when you were the side chick and the ex wife was in the house . You were enjoying and she was crying. Now you don enter see as the thing be you don dey cry . It's always sweeter from the outside until you enter. You never start to do competition ! You go soon tire .
ReplyDelete😂😂🤣🤣🤣😁😁 Anonymous, please be kind with your words.
Delete😂😂🤣🤣🤣😁😁 Anonymous, please be kind with your words.
DeleteI kept believing my husband was seduced cos i believed he was a good man. He confessed tp me that he had a daughter outside and he was charmed. Me sef chop the gist until i met someone who heard my surname qnd asked if i was related to (she mentioned my husband's name but i wisely said no. I asked her why she asked and she said dt her cousin has a daughter for him and also preggs at the mo! He even built a house for her and takes good care of her. The shocking thing that almost made me faint was when i heard her say " and his wife doesnt know that tbey are still involved cos he lied to her that the baby mama had now married). Poster its either you leave him or enjoy the ride. Cos me i don gba kamu
ReplyDeleteThe man / your husband is the problem,not you or his ex.Listen,if you go after his ex,he'll leave you. So just face him with sence.
ReplyDeleteAt least, you are a Mrs now abi?
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂🤣 Men and their wahala.
DeleteIdeally, your husband ought to he faithful to you, but I think it will be unreasonable for you to expect loyalty from a man like your husband.
ReplyDeleteWHY? LOOK at the reasons he told you he left his WIFE, The mother of his children:
She starved him of sxx, doesn't cook, a reckless spender, and doesn't dress well.
There is no substantial reason he left her, not even one. Yet, you jumped on board, to dress well, give great sxx, spend prudently and cook like a chef.
Haaaa, Aunty, you can't possibly complain. His reasons should have given you an idea of his values. See you now wanting to wear purple lingerie to woo an already sxx starved man.
We women need to start thinking better, stop thinking you're better than a man's babe, wife or partner, because you are not. Sometimes nah the man fit get comma. See you, see side chick situation.
Make peace with your situation, give him an ultimatum or move away and move on.
Better report him to your pastor and his wife or someone your husband respects, you can't possibly be quiet.
Hmm
ReplyDeleteThose two are smashing on back-to-back
Your husband is the issue here.
This kind of man even if he marries 100 wives he simply can't stay without looking outside
LMAOOOO, aunty you mumu gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan walahi. 🤔Dem must dey use your head shine shoe. 🤣🤣🤣 So he said he likes the purple lingerie, you too you ran kati kati to buy your own, talmabout 'I'm not competing nyen nyen nyen'. What are you doing my love? You are under studying ba?
ReplyDeleteIssokay. Ehn but did you actually investigate what caused the break up of your husband's last marriage? Did you actually investigate your husband's character before marrying him?
Because na correct one chance dey carry you go where you know no as you dey display matching pant and bra.
Women do not ever learn....
ReplyDeleteI like the first wife vibe abeg...na woman be side chick,na she go give wife (woman) sleepless nights,na she want to be wifed despite knowing guyman is married....
I wish more women will behave like the first wife jare
I feel so bad for you knowing you've turned to by force gymnast just so you can outdo the first wife in best yet the thing still no count. Abeg stop trying to outdo the first wife and do you before you go run mad trying to please a public toilet o
ReplyDeleteYou better make the man set you up business wise , cash out and face your children. His ex will forever be in his life o. Know this and know peace.
ReplyDelete#Beamlite
You are the thief who married her husband I wish you confront her and she beat you to pup nonsense with ingredients ole ,olojukokoro go and look for your husband leave another woman 's husband pls
ReplyDeleteGbam
DeletePoster I don't know what document you saw or the underground investigation you did before you said yes to your husband. If o m to marry a divorcees trust me to have make so much findings plus going to have a conversations with his ex wife before I can add up one plus one to make it two. For two people to divorce you should know both parties didn't do well and both has fault, do not allow anyone to sweet talk over believing their wife is the major problem.
ReplyDeletePlease have a discuss with your husband and communicate your fear to him . Let him understand that you are no longer comfortable with his closeness with his ex. If he still love her he should re-marry her back or involve family members.
Dis you see the divorce papers or you two acting based on what uncle said. His ex may not even know he has remarried
This is why the Bible is clear. Don’t marry a divorcee as long as the wife is alive. Una no go listen. He is NOT your husband poster. You’re actually blocking them from reconciling. Make your decision and stick with it. You’ll end up losing your self esteem and self worth because of a man who doesn’t value you. You should have reached out to his ex wife to find what really went down and what ended their divorce.You’re basically stuck with him for life because those kids need their father. Thank God I’m not in your shoes because lord knows I don’t have the mental energy to fight anyone or go through this type of torture. Let’s do better please. It is well with you.
ReplyDeleteNigerians are always blinded by sentiments when dropping comments. He is divorced from his ex wife, so he is no longer her husband. He has a new wife now. People marry divorcees all the time. All the people you are asking to leave abusive marriages, is it not human beings they are getting remarried to?
ReplyDeleteThe man is a fool, but he is the only true winner in this mix. Imagine having two women at your beck and call. The ex wife is not the winner here, she looks like she has temporarily won because stolen food is sweet! The time that she's supposed to spend healing and potential meeting new and sensible men, she is wasting it on her ex husband. Men can be selfish, women need to be too. If this new wife leaves, i give him and the first wife maybe one year, he will get tired and find a new distraction. The man is not the prize!
I encourage the ex wife to discharge him and move on with her life. Never let a man prove to you that he doesn't want you twice. What they have is not love, it is simply the rush that comes with entering forbidden territory.