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Thursday, September 22, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratve...

 Hmmmm...






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
URGENT ADVICE NEEDED



Hello Stella,

I have this chronicle that has driven me to near depression but I need you and BVs to nicely tell me what to do as I am open to suggestions.


Let me get to it...


I am a stay at home Mom of two I haven't been able to secure a Job since I moved to hubby's State but I do a small side hustle from home just to keep myself busy.


By the way I was the Lady who mentioned that her TV broke in one of the comment sections.

So the thing is just like the TV a couple of other stuffs in the house have either spoilt or broken thanks to my children But the truth is every time it happens I can see clearly that it's not their fault, take the TV for instance my toddler was trying to take a peek at what the fixer was doing from on top of a table when the table gave way from it's hinges and he landed on the TV.

Please note that I wasn't with them at the time and when I scolded the Man for letting him come close he said he didn't want him to think he was being a brute( I was livid!).Then there was the rechargeable lamp which broke because my older daughter was trying to pick it up and help mummy light the room (according to her) that fell and broke.


Another instance was when they were playing hide and seek and one person hid behind the curtain that had a speaker in front of it then the speaker fell and broke in two. Please note I wasn't there too.


Now hubby clearly resents me for all of these and has called me a horrible Mom, a waster and all sorts which I have quietly swallowed but my question is am I the only Mom that has or have had issues like this when raising their little ones?

Or there is clearly something I am doing wrong? please help a woman very very close to loosing her mind.





Please dont let what he says get to you and continue to ignore him.... Even if you are there, they will still cause damage....I have never seen a household that the kids did not spoil something unless it is kid born sick...

Please let your kids be kids, they will grow up and become more careful... Don't the words of an angry man get to you.

Some husbands can be so insensitive and leave all the hard work to the woman alone...Not fair at all...

64 comments:

  1. Wait till you hear from others, then you will appreciate yourself and your children. Your husband should find time and stay with the kids for at least 2 days and he will change his mindset. Children are like that, they play and do what is in their mind including destroying things and being uncontrollable. You are not doing anything wrong ma, just try and put more eye on them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please ignore your husband. Till 2morrow my children still break things. Kis would be kids weather you are there or not. My son that is 14yrs broke our 50 inch TV in the family sitting room,as i speak with you now,there is on TV there. Thank God they have there own sitting room with a TV,and i have in my room,so we have decided to let it be.

      Delete
    2. So you're letting what he says get to you? Better harden up! My husband blames me for any single thing the kids does wrong.

      I gave my 3yr old daughter fried potatoes and stew (from the one we ate on sunday o) and she complained to her teacher that "my packed packed too much pepper inside the stew" (she can be dramatic eh) so she didn't eat it. The teacher complained to their dad when he went to pick them up. This is the same stew she ate with rice without complaining on sunday. When I got back home, my husband was so angry that why did I pack potatoes and pepper for her. He didnt let me drop my bag before he started shouting at me. I had to explain to him that it was the same stew we ate with on sunday before he closed his mouth.
      Abi, it is the way he blames me when the kids are sick?? Wo forget!
      The good thing is that I lash out when I have to but mostly, I dont let his misyarns get to him. Na economy I blame las las

      Delete
    3. My son broke our 50inches smart tv, clogged 2 toilets, broke my car door handle, hit the dstv dish with Football, destroyed my bicycle - I don't know how he tore it apart, tore the sitting room sofa....just to name a few. He's still alive. I didn't kill him


      Your husband that's complaining can't baby sit those kids for 2hrs. It's not easy. I'm always exhausted no matter how much rest I get when they go to school.

      Delete
    4. Kids will be kids and play . But parents should be conscious and do well to safeguard items out of their reach. My 3 year old niece broke my tv, but when I assessed the situation, the adults were to blame. The TV stand was wobbly and needed changing. Something I had delayed doing for a while. So knowing as kids like standing directly infant of the TV, that fateful evening she leaned on the TV stand and everything came crashing down on. I tell you that I did super woman gymnastics that day and managed to catch her before TV stand, TV & everything else fell on her head. Na dat day I know say even if TV cost 10million, a child's life is priceless. After I bought a new TV and TV stand, and my niece herself will be the one to warn her big 5 year old sister not to go near the new TV. It also taught me to put everything valuable out of their reach in a secure place that they can't reach. Then I made them a designated play zone. Taught them how to start picking up after themselves. Its amazing how a little imagination can solve things & positive reinforcement, instead of constantly saying no & beating them changes things. My girls are well behaved now. We all learn. So just keep valuable things out of sight; be watchful & set rules when they are playing.

      Delete
    5. Madam, don’t let your husband make you feel like a failed mother.

      I’m a man and I can tell you that it’s a phase with every kid. My baby in the house just clocked 16 and I can remember that they (my 3 boys) decided to do “jangirofa” some 8 years ago on a bed that I bought for almost $2000 in one of the rooms upstairs. I was asleep downstairs when it happened in the night but my wife knew but couldn’t tell me. I found out few days later and needed to either break their heads or something that will make them feel my pains - so they know how it feels. I broke their 3 tablets and then we all started to cry. I felt so stupid thereafter but that saved me from going jail. I took me another 8 months to replace their tablets (unnecessary and avoidable expense) but breaking them prevented me from going to jail as I would have broken their heads instead out of annoyance.

      They will overgrow this phase, just as my boys did, and your husband will then be proud of you - trust me!

      Delete
    6. What is saving me is we are not always around. Go out in the morning, comes back in the evening. I guess, it has been saving me but I must say that kids will always be kids.
      During holidays, the little things they scattered,indicated that even the TV can turn to powder. I don't pray for that o. Country siri ike biko.

      Delete
  2. It depends on how young the kids are but you can’t leave kids bellow 6 alone too much or with strangers(like your fixer)you gotta keep an eye on them as much as possible or they will destroy everything o.I don’t buy your husbands conclusion but you still have to keep an eye on the kids almost all the time too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes i agree with you. You really should not leave your small children alone with a repair man.

      Delete
  3. Please ignore him, there's nothing you are doing wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Poster me spoil plenty things when I dey grow up oh so I perfectly understand (you just took me back many years ago)...In as much as they are kids and these things are bound to happen...I will advise that you speak with your kids about how some electronics and items are expensive and replacing them requires a lot of money...Explain to them to exercise a bit of caution or leave items they cannot carry or handle things or they can call your attention to it....I know say Oga dey vex and has said some things that are unfair to you Abeg no vex...You know the way Nigeria is now...Nobody go happy say things are spoiling around the house....All the best....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. While growing up, I spoiled slot things sotey if anything spoil everybody know say na me. I used my father's record plates play with my friends tire. After er we finished I go jejely parcel them, na when e go wan play am., Them go know say my hand don enter.

      I know talk about how many electrical appliances I don take my hand spoil.

      Now a father of 2 boys and they are surely paying me back.

      Delete
    2. Hahaha enjoy! Poster don't take it to heart, i guess economy is making him act out.

      Delete
  5. It is well with you poster. You are doing your best and children must be children. Don''t beat yourself up about his words its not your fault.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I wish my parents can see this so they can tell you personally that I caused demage at home while growing up... Its a normal thing for a child to spoil something in the event of playing or trying to help out at home, what you need do is to correct them with love and give restrictions where to play and where not to.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Poster I totally get you. You are not a horrible mum, there's only so much you can do. You don't want to know the number of things that have been broken/spoilt unknowingly by my kids. Our torchlight suffers the worstπŸ”¦. Na God go help us.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I believe your semi idleness and lack of financial contributions to the wellbeing of the family is what's triggering your husband's unnecessary reaction.He is very inconsiderate and should be schooled on the importance of a housewife..You didn't do anything wrong please...kids will always be kids.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess so. Poster, when you start earning money even if the kids scattered everything, your hubby will just stroll out.

      Delete
    2. True o cos he would feel the both of you can bear financial burdens of the house. Men sha.. Economy lo fa

      Delete
  9. No my dear...you are not. This is typical...my Son has broken 4 TVs so far....I'm also a stay at home mum, lol. My oga will be quiet but whenever I say 'pimp', he will just remind me.of how wasteful I am around the house....hence the reason why 'we can't save'. My other son hasn't destroyed much so far, loll. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is...do not let it bother you. Focus more on your side Biz, kids, etc. You are just alright.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pim not pimp
      Pimp is something else entirely lol

      Delete
  10. Some men have bad mouth.
    Poster ignore, na hard life for naija dey pepper your husband, just ignore him & try to be happy.
    Kids destroying household gadgets & other stuffs are normal happenings in homes, no big deal.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Stella Some mothers are guilty of this when their children are playing rough they will just keep quiet without cautioning them until they destroy things
    I am talking from experience

    ReplyDelete
  12. Your husband does not understand what kids can do.. He is not feeling like a dad. He should stop nagging you because the kids. It's not your fault and he should recall how he grew up and must have spoiled gadgets.

    Please, try and correct your children in love and make them to know that they should be more careful while playing to avoid self injury.

    I understand your husband pain.. He doesn't want to be replacing items in this Buhari economy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is mostly her fault, from her narration she is never home when the kids destroy their properties. What do you honestly expect when you leave kids unsupervised? Have you thought of the financial capacity of her husband. Where money is available the man won't get angry .

      Delete
    2. I will fault her based on the 1st para. You can't leave them alone when you know they can destroy things. Things are hard now compared to when your hubby bought them, some are memories to them.

      Poster be on the alert. Having kids around requires much energy all-around. That's why we can shout down the roof.

      Delete
  13. Please,don't let his nasty comments gets to you.It can really be annoying when these children spoil things.I can't count the number of things my child has spoiled.often times, it's by mistake and when you beat, that doesn't stop him from spoiling something else again.
    What I do now is I tell him to be careful with things that can break,even before getting close or carrying it.I tell him if it breaks I won't buy you this and that.
    As a child I can't count the number of plates that I broke ...just continue to caution them,as they grow,they will change.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Men take out such frustration on their wives but let them stay an hour with these kids, they will run. Even bet with them, they will gladly tell you to win instead of staying with a child how much more 2 or 3 kids.

    There's no advise to this apart from your eyes on them but can that be for 24 hours without distraction?

    Feel bad for the damaged electronics and less for what your husband has to say. It's not easy taking care of the home which most times go under appreciated.

    Cheer up.

    Baltika

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is perfectly normal and happens in most homes worldwide.
    Just thank your God that the kids are not injured during their adventures.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Don’t leave kids unattended for too long . Is the fixer your child minder?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Poster, come to my house and see for yourself. Now I don't even rush to fix anything again. My nephew and nieces eh, they can spoil for Africa. But as they get older, they are getting better. Now the oldest is the first to raise alarm when her younger ones touch something they shouldn't touch. And small small even the 3yr old is getting it. I only scold them small and have more of conversations about safety and cost because I know the havoc I caused for my parents growing up. Kids will always be kids but they grow too and they spoil stuff. One day, my niece broke the screen of her tab, I was livid, I had just fixed the screen the day before. I said I am not fixing this screen regardless of what anyone says. The next day I was getting ready for work and somehow somehow my own phone fell from me thinking I was putting it in my pocket. The screen shattered. And then I thought to myself, if I can break this screen by being mindless to where my pocket is how much more a 7yr old. I sha went and fixed them sha because last last even as adults we spoil things too

    ReplyDelete
  18. Poster, I lost a pregnancy to an infection, just found out I have infection when I am pregnant.
    I delivered a stillbirth, had bleeding, seizures and even rigors. I am grateful to GOD for seeing me through all the pains.
    But guess what, hubby and his people said why didn't I check for infection before getting pregnant? Infact , I changed it for them.
    When I complained their son was cheating, they told him to stop and I should understand he is an African man, infact ,they advised him to make sure I don't see his back while he is swimming. African mentality!!!
    Now, they didn't ask him why he didn't check infection before getting me pregnant.
    How do one know sex that will result in pregnancy.
    The way women are blamed for everything is sickening ooo, nobody is talking about the pain i went through.
    Poster, please dear don't let it bother you, some Sundays, plead with him to look after them while you go make your hair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I dont even know if its a crime to be a woman. No matter what you do society will always find a way to blame the woman ( sadlyπŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺ...society is mostly women)

      Delete
    2. Oh no!!! I'm so sorry.

      Delete
  19. It’s not your fault but pls hear me, you both are taking too many chances
    You both should go round your house and think like children then get things away from their path....because all they are doing is breaking things but what if the things land on their head when falling
    For example, hang tv on the wall instead of keeping on a table unless you can barricade the tv away from reach. Remove the speaker. There are checklists online for parents to follow and prevent these things
    You can stop all things but you can try

    ReplyDelete
  20. Kids will always be kids. The way my kids have used pencils and crayons on our walls nko? Don't beat up yourself just try and be keeping an eye on them to avoid plenty injuries

    ReplyDelete
  21. You’re not a horrible mum. You are doing amazing πŸ€—.
    Dear single ladies, please pray to God to give to a kind man. E get why!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Don't allow his words get to you. I know it is not easy...my hubby, whenever the children break plate or cup when doing dishes, he will start with story of how careless their mum is and has also transfer it to them. That they break plate like their mum...in this ranting, plate break for my hand either once or twice in 15 yrs of marriage oo and the kids (two of them aged 10 & 15) never break up to 4 plates oo...most time I ignore him telling him I don't have his time and the day I have time I dey reply am back say na my plate oo, e break e no concern you so long you see plate eat..
    Some men If you follow their words when they are angry, you will go into depression.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Kids are naturally destructive. The only reason my kid has not broken our TV is because we live in our own home and so have the liberty to hand it up. Can’t count the number of cups she’s broken. Almost all our shelves doors are no longer perfectly aligned.

    Ignore ur husband’s comment on this jare and keep doing ur best or better still show him the comment section of this post

    ReplyDelete
  24. My dear firstly thank God for giving you human that can destroy your home in that manner, there are ones that desire for that but to no avail, my sisters first son na wahala, the second one na double wahala for home destruction so you can imagine, don't mind your husband just try to guide them carefully please.

    ReplyDelete
  25. The truth is since he is the one bleeding money for these things to be either fixed/replaced, he would get angry if it is too consistent. Yes children will break things, but please not too much, do not let them break everything in the house in the name of they are children.
    Sometimes when they break things punish them, sometimes just talk to them, ask them if what they did is good, sometimes when they break, before ur husband comes back, you and them should fix the item. Let them see that effort from you, tell them daddy will not be happy when he comes back and sees this, so we need to fix it. Join hands with them, use glue, do it together. You will see improvement, they would be more careful with things around the house. Goodluck! (I’m a mom of 2, my son has broken 2 tvs in his early years, but has totally stopped now)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Poster, I totally understand you..
    There's nothing wrong with you, you just have to put more eyes on your kids and you know what, kids will be kids.
    You will be fine

    ReplyDelete
  27. Poster, this is not something that should bother you at all. It's only someone who doesn't have kids at home that wouldn't understand the way these kids behave. Never you allow what your husband says make you lose your mind. Even if you're with the kids every minute of the day, you can't stop them from being kids.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I wasn't home? You brought strangers into your home and left your children with them. What nonsense, you are never home when something happens and you claim to be a stay at home mum. Yes, children destroy properties, my eldest poured water inside our television when he was 3. Possibly, your husband is angry because he doesn't have the money to be replacing what the kids are destroying.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I don't have kids but from my sister's, brother, friends and relatives I have seen some children do worst. My sister sons did terrible while growing up but thank God now the youngest is 11 years.

    When I was growing up I broke almost all the plates, cups and anything breakable in that house. My shoes was something else πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ you buy me shoe today and by tomorrow is gone 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

    Please ignore your husband 😊😊😊 if they don't break things in the house how will you both know they are children. Please have a strong skin do that when he talk you will just listen and not take it to heart.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Pls try as much as possible to ignore ur hubby.these are toddlers and thats the way they play around till maturity come.patience is important@this time pls.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I broke our glass center table a lot of times, my Dad kept replacing until he got tired, and went for a beautiful wooden center table, the huge glass dining table was also destroyed by my brothers during one of their Jet LI fights, my Dad bought another one, so u have no problem, it's normal. Ignore ur husband.

    ReplyDelete
  32. My nephew that's 14 years, is still breaking things in the house. His glasses are changed every term. And quite very pricy. Relax, you're trying

    ReplyDelete
  33. Don’t let wat hubby said gets to u. Y are a great mum. Last last u will be alright

    ReplyDelete
  34. Poster you are not doing anything wrong. Just don't let your husband's words get to you.
    When my younger brother was staying with us and helping to baby sit my children, my husband will blame him for everything that went wrong around the house. If things were not in the right places, my brother takes the blame. I kept reminding my husband to consider we have 3 young children who are all boys. My brother finally left our house and I traveled for one week for a program. My husband lost so much weight, he looked 10 years older, the whole house was looking like hurricane happened. Since then he never complains or blame anyone 🀷

    ReplyDelete
  35. Don't worry your self over your husband's comment, kids will always be kids. I can't count the number of rechargeable lantern I have bought this year.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Different strokes......why the expecting parents are longing for kids that will come in and break things also spoil too.
    A home where kids lives is suppose to be noisy,damages and untidy to some extent,All these men don't understand.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Until women stop seeing themselves as lesser beings,but as human beings that should have as much rights as men have, this kind of narrative will continue. This idea that a child is the sole responsibility of the mother, and that the father only has to contribute financially is sad. Women should stop enabling this behavior. These children belong to both of you, and couples should work as a team. The finger-pointing attitude by your husband is very childish.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Poster, try leave your kids with your husband some weekends. He will by himself, correct himself.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Most men talk like that especially when they have to be the one to replace it. My husband is always nagging about how I didn't keep this or that properly and the kids have destroyed it, abeg I can't kill myself. I ignore him sometimes, most times I tell him to stop shouting at me like I'm a child. please hang your TV on the wall, it's safer that way,. If ours was like that, my 11 months old would have destroyed it by now the same way he's destroyed the decoder. No be only you jare

    ReplyDelete
  40. Mmmhu! While reverse is the case in mine. My twins are too much especially my daughter..This month end will make them 2 years 4 month, we are on our 4th water dispenser, 5th flask, 3rd tv, the man that fits blinds refused coming again after the 5th time. When you are upstairs , she will sneak down stairs and there's always huge surprises. She will climb the kitchen dresser and break every making me shout but when their dad came back, he always wave it off and said they are babies. Well so long as it's not my money. Kids are like that, they must destroy things. All my cutlery out of the window, when they do those ones, i don't ever know. It's not your fault, they are just doing what they do best.

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  41. You can never stop kids no matter how careful you are. I envy people that have second hand kids toys and other things to give out or sell cos anything my daughter touches she must spoil it.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Kids will be kids forget what he said don't take to heart,explain to them believe me they understand tell them don't spoil it for daddy he will be annoyed, don't spoil it for mummy do you want mummy to be angry ,they will say no , you love mummy? Things like that goes a long way in at least them being a bit careful, AND pls poster,
    No fixer shld be alone with your kids don't trust them they re vulnerable, be it a plumber or even a neighbor pls open your eyes.they re your precious ones be security conscious cheers to you it's not easy been a mum

    ReplyDelete
  43. One time my daughter went to the kitchen to drag her water bottle that i washed and hanged on the plate rack and everything landed on the floor and broke. I was so scared cos she was teething then and was running temprature so she was on only diapers. I didnt know when she went to the kitchen. I ran there with speed, tip toed nd pick her from the midst of the broken plates. Thank God she was'nt hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Funny thing is, if you leave your husband to keep an eye on these kids, they would do worse and he would find out that he can't control them. I wish you would just get out of the house for a bit and allow him to babysit. His eye would open. I did it to my husband. Now, whenever my son destroy's something, he doesn't look in my direction again because he knows it's no one's fault

    ReplyDelete
  45. Aunty/Uncle Alexander try and be calming down when I meant I wasn't there it didn't mean I travelled I was either doing laundry or attending to their meals I hardly ever do anything else but work around the house as for the day the fixer came I was strolling around the house in my hubby's boxers and a strapless dress with no Bra and the idiot barged in without knocking I had to hide in the kitchen while trying to get my eldest to bring wrapper for me to tie when it happened.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Easy madam. When you start earning, your hubby won't be talking aswear even if they bring down the roof. He will even allow you to discipline them.
      You go dey ok las las

      Delete
  46. At age 1 my son smashed my Sony smart TV; he went on to use his toy hammer to smash his iPad screen I refused to change that iPad for 3 years he complained I didn’t care. So many things he has broken or spoilt in my house but I have made peace with it!

    ReplyDelete

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