Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BETRAYED BY BABY DADDY
I met a guy that claimed to be divorced with a daughter.
He promised to marry me and because I was having issues with my sister I was living with, he asked me to move in with him.
We had our first child a boy and the second twin boys. Anytime I talk about him going to pay my bride price he will claim he doesn't have money but expecting.
I didn't even know he only had issues with his wife and was trying to mend. One day, he told me his mum is sick that we should go and visit her, he left me and the kids, moved on with his ex wife.
When I got back to the house, I realized the padlocks had been changed, it was the security man that told me the madam is back with her daughter. I was mad.
I called and he said he doesn't want me and the kids to suffer, that was the reason he took us to his mom so she can take care of the kids while I look for job.
I asked him why he could betray me like this, I thought he said he was divorced and he now admitted he wasn't legally divorced.
BVs right now I'm back to his family house, I'm so confused and don't know if I should go back to that estate and make troubles. Yes I admit we have been having misunderstanding but that was because he always communicate with his ex wife in a romantic way and doesn't even want her to know he has another wife.
Besides I wanted him to marry me proper. His mum has been on my side saying it's me the whole family wants and they never liked that woman. His mum said I should stay that he will realize his mistake and come back here for us, or throw that woman out......
*You are lucky that he has not married you...A BABY MAMA IS BETTER THAN A NUMBERED WIFE.....His mum is probably telling you what she would also tell the original wife and any other woman attached to him...
There is no need to go and create drama, madam has come home that's all.... Do you even know if the house is hers? you would be shocked.. Try to get a Job and move on please. i cannot believe that you stayed with a man just making babies and di not bother to empower yourself....
But this wife is not numbered na, poster you started birthing kids for a married man? His wife is home now carry your cross
ReplyDeleteKai Stellz your last line touched me, as in you just stayed making babies without empowering yourself? And I put it to you that you knew he was married and just having issues not really divorced and you chooked head lol. Oya Pele, find something to do and move on ko?
DeleteThis is why, as a rule, I don't mess with "divorced" black men. 50% of the time, they are lying about being divorced, the remaining 50% of the time, when they are truly divorced, it was either domestic violence or UNCONTROLLABLE CHEATING. If a black man says he's divorced, it's a BIG RED FLAG. African/Black women only leave a marriage at the point of death, so I ask myself, can I endure what the other woman ran way from???
DeleteWhat in the devil is going on?
DeleteWhat is this level of deceit ?
Why was it necessary?
Please young ladies learn from this, do not pop out any babies until you have done all marriage rites, atleast if you had done your investigations you’d have known.
Do not let his mother play with your sense, what does she even mean? So you’d remain in her house raising his kids?
Wo
Kindly look for every means possible to extort money from them and move out, just take your time and plan it well.
Adam ooo
Push up (original )
Baby mama which is a sin is better than being a second wife which isn’t explicitly a sin and not a sin in certain religions?
DeleteHis mother knew he wasn't divorced and never mentioned it all though out your previous conversations and visits? She probably pestered him for more kids so he used you as a baby making machine for more grandkids which is why he sent the kids to her. She may not even let you leave with the kids if you decide to move out. What did you gain from the years you spent with him? Don't stay there and be waiting for his wife to be thrown out. Pick up the pieces of your life and build something out of it.
DeleteWhy some women let some men eat their cake and have it....
I think this is the chronicle that has weakened me the most. Haba. Is this for real? So u just stay and be birthing kids for someone u know is married?? I beg I’m lying down. Too weak to stand after reading this!!!
DeleteIs it that our women don't use their brains again?
DeleteJust negodu high stupidity.
Lesson . The man is evil.
Move on with your life ma. You made a mistake for moving in with a man who hasn't paid your bride prize.
ReplyDeleteNigerian men MOSTLY see lying as NORMAL & cheating as fun
DeleteTo many of them women are objects so their feelings don't count
Take whatever a strange one says you haven't had time to study and know with a BAG OF SALT
You both were having misunderstanding because he always communicated with his alledge ex wife, that means you knew he wasn't properly divorced, you were hoping his wife wouldn't come back. It's your cross and you'd carry it. Jus make your home at his family house coz that estate, you won't live there again.
ReplyDeleteThat guys is eating his cake and having it also. Hehehe. You have been properly used. Sorry oo
DeleteHow I love people that read between the lines, especially unwritten words.
DeleteShe played herself.
She knows that that man was very much married. Only thought that she was going to push the wife out of the way.
Bush meat finally caught the hunter.
That man is eating his cake and having it.🙁
He created a false impression of being free, he will suffer it
DeleteIf only because of those 3 innocent children he threw away like that
He created a false impression of being free, he will suffer it
DeleteIf only because of those 3 innocent children he threw away like that
Really a pity. Your sister just pushed you to a place of pains. Sorry eh. As Stella said, look for a job. Just know you have 3 beautiful children to cater for. Take this as your cross and turn it to a lemonade
ReplyDeleteAbeg no even blame her sister. If you investigate now, you'll find out it's normal disagreements sisters have that happened, and because she wanted to show herself as per I have a rich man who wants me to move in, she went ahead and moved in with him.
DeleteHer sister didn't push her anything. It was just an excuse to justify her mistake.
DeleteLet just say she had misunderstanding with her sister,. So all she could think of is to run to a married man and started having children for him without marrying her properly?
Did you see where she admitted that she has been having misunderstanding with the man? Why didn't she ran away from him the way she did with her sister?
For the man to diversify means for her to leave the house shows that the man has done everything possible to frustrate her out his life but tanda gidigbaa for there.
Omo, leave matter! She let the bastard played her Wella.
I'm so angry to that he goat, but I'm really mad at her for being so stupid and clueless.😩😫😵
Very true, move on Sister
DeleteYou had no job but pushed out three boys for him. You think it is by having male children, you better tighten your wrapper and go look for a job.
ReplyDeleteYou were probably a liability while you were living with him, so for your mind, you think he just dumped you with the mother without being part of the plan. Of course the mother knew he had made up with his first wife. Go and look for a job and put some self worth into your life please
Get a job so you can give your kids a proper upbringing. Women, empower yourselves to be financially independent so you can avoid/resist abuse from your partners/spouses.
ReplyDeleteThis is the height of betrayal.
Please, do not go to his house alone. Go with some people so they can help you ”brush” him a little and make him understand he must provide for your kids.
Sluttychic.
Brush him as per what? Is he her husband? Did he tell you he won't provide for the kids? She and the children are in his mother's house. Her main concern is that the man should divorce his wife and marry her as per the mother of his 3 sons.
DeleteThe original madam of the house is back. There is nothing you can do about it. Sue him for child support and move on with your life. He never loved you. His heart has always been with his wife..
ReplyDeleteChai babe was scammed. Imagine abandoning 3 boys. You better stay with the mum so you can be fed and have someone keep an eye on them while you sort your self out
ReplyDeleteI’m pained on her behalf. Where will she start from? 3 kids without a means of livelihood. That man is wicked!
DeleteSluttychic.
His mum is deceiving you. Making such utterances about his wife is to make you calm down and keep deceiving yourself. So in your mind, you are the chosen wife abi? For all you know, she orchestrated the reconciliation between the couple and they are keeping you as the "village wife" because you had boys else you would have been dumped on the street. Like Stella said, the wife may even be the owner of the house or the financial power of that family.
DeleteWhen you tell women to financially empower themselves, they tell you that being a housewife is a full time job. Dust yourself up and start job hunting. The sooner you get your own place and move on with your life, the sooner you may meet someone that will care for you and your kids.
I suspect it’s the in-laws that caused the troubles in the man’s marriage but unfortunately they have failed. His mum promised you he will throw his wife out 😂 you and the mum are very wicked sha. You quickly started birthing boys thinking he will never leave you because of your boys 🤣 I can understand the first was a mistake but second? You knew what you wanted but your plan failed. Na that his mother go marry you after she must have turned you into her maid.
ReplyDeleteI keep saying this, no reasonable man will leave his wife for a woman that tried to trap him with pregnancy. Even if his wife divorces him, he will never wife you. Go ask Maje ayida babymama, Paul Okoye babymama etc..
Fan Emmanuel
She quickly started birthing boys? Like she planted the gender in her knowingly....that’s really funny. Yes, she has her own blame, how about the man that lied he was divorced? Maybe poster is calm but if it was me, he will regret the day he met me.
DeleteSluttychic.
😂😆
DeleteSorry,no pity
@SluttyChic, please stop pretending like you don't know the average Nigerian mentality. Wife has a daughter, probably been trying to have another child or if the daughter is younger than baby mama's children was ttc for a while. Family must have ganged up against her resulting in separation between the couple. Husband to satisfy family brought in another woman who gave them the sons. He moved them unannounced to his mother's house, and dumped them there.
DeleteShe and his mother are bargaining on the 3 sons she has to get her back to the man's house.
Read between the lines.
Sluty did you notice how she emphasized on the gender of her kids? I trust you’re a decent girl that will not go and start birthing kids for a man that still communicate with his “ex” wife in a romantic way. I also believe you’ll not open your mouth to say “his mother has been on my side saying it is me the whole family likes,he will realize his mistake and throw that woman out “.
DeleteFan Emmanuel
LADIES ALWAYS ASK QUESTIONS AND LOOK BEYOND THE SURFACE! LOOK DEEPLY AND INVESTIGATE
ReplyDeleteHow is a baby mama better than being wife number 2 because the man no get plenty money abi,because the man in this case is not Ned nwoko Abi Atiku.
ReplyDeleteNa that be your own wahala? LoL 😂
DeleteNo vex Biko, Na consolation speech be that. Kpele!! 🤣🤣😁
Aunty, get a job and move on with ur life..try and focused on your children.
ReplyDeleteAll these kind men sef.....
Hmmmm
The man is a heartless user,thrash
DeletePoster you deserve some heavy slaps to reset your brain. Cos you had issues with your sister and you moved into a man's house and boom you are pregnant. Before we could count 10 you are pregnant with twins. When you had issues with your sister was the best time that man should have looked for accommodation for you rather than you moving in with him.
ReplyDeleteA man told you that he was divorced from his wife and you believed him? you did not ask him to show you the signed papers, even when he shows you the signed papers you cannot believe him until you confirm that from the court. You did not ask him to marry you in a proper way before you started making babies but you opened your legs and made three babies before your head remember for him to pay your bride price.
Well, you gave him your body for free. You gave him babies for free, now you want to go and make trouble with his wife. Who are you again biko? the owner of the house you have been enjoying is back to take over her home, prick, and family and you are here talking rubbish.
His mother is just making noise to make you feel good. If the mother wanted you as her real daughter-in-law she would have forced her son to marry you. The best you can get now is to stay with his mother while you get something doing and move to your own place. I am saying get your own place cos soon see finish will enter between you and his mother.
If you check well, the man may have even being the cause of the fights with her sister. You are spot on about him asking her to move in instead of renting a place for her and she fell for it.
DeleteHe just used her as affordable baby making machine. Some men are wicked sha and some women no get ear.
DeleteSee Mumu! i don't know whether to cause trouble back there yen yen! You born 3 pikin for man, no job no business. You dey find mother-in-law wey go support you to spoil another person's home. You even want him to marry you properly ebven after finding out he is legally married. Kai, wetin i no go read for stella's blog.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, my advise is that you should stay with his mother [since you don fight with your family member]. Find a job, take care of your kids and live with his mother rent free for a period of one year, after that, find your square root. Then take him to court for child support or at least any financial support.
If you try to spoil another woman's home, God will punish you o
This poster sent this somewhere else already. These people should be adding this so they don't put Stella into unnecessary dragging.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmmm...
ReplyDeletePoster how old are you? I was starting to pity you but with the way you talked about his REAL WIFE, it sounds like maybe you were part of the problem between them.
ReplyDeleteWell, you never really had a leg to stand on in his life. I suggest you either move on or peacefully stay in his mother’s place as some sort of second wife/concubine.
Hmmm
ReplyDeleteHe's still in love with the original wife and just needed you as a "baby mama"
Deal with it!
And an object for him to have meals cooked, house cleaned and have unprotected sex with
DeleteI tire for my gender sometimes. Do you want to be a second wife? If yes then go and do as he says ;stay with his mum and take care of your children.he clearly deceived you. He is back with his wife and there is nothing you can do about it. or you can start all over in your parents house,become a baby mama ,get a job to fend for your children in the hope that he will bring money for upkeep . find love again but this time around use your head and not your heart, let no man deceive you again.
ReplyDeleteSecond wife how? On top man wey no marry her? Wahala
DeleteEither way na baby mama she don become
DeleteAm so sorry you are going through this. You sound like a good person that has been manipulated. It sounds like he left his first wife when responsibilities was too much. Maybe his kid was young and his wife expected him to step up and be responsible but he refuse. Now he is rejecting you because you have young children with lots of responsibilities. Sis sorry take heart. It shall be well. Don't listen to in laws sometimes they pretend too much and will only support their own.
ReplyDeleteYou and your sis are having issues and the best you could do is to move into a man's house and start making babies,. Asper payment for accommodation or what?
ReplyDeleteWhat stopped you from saving up and renting your own place?
Why you no loyal for your sis deh save money?
Do you (ever) even have a job or something you're doing?
That's good for you, you should serve as an example to females that think men exist for their meal tickets and laziness..
Some of you need to be responsible so you'll learn to appreciate help from people, many of Una never pay house rent before but to call people broke and talk down on them dey always sweet Una.. do you know what it takes to pay rent? Not to talk of feeding someone else
Exactly. I have been in a situation before. And this man was bragging about his wealth. Didn't move me. I was expecting Mr. Bragger to send me 2yrs rent before i know how serious he was. I wasn't going to live in one of his so called numerous properties. I pinned where I was... Never put yourself in a situation where you are at the mercy of a man. Poster, you were unbearable for your sister and she wanted you to shape up but yougave her attitudethst you can do better because this man was filling up your head. Go get a job. Tough world
DeleteI always look forward to your comments Mate. Always Keeping it real even when it hurts.
DeleteI am a female and I always look forward to your comments Dante. You always state the truth. Thank you for your honesty
Delete16.09
DeleteDon't mind her, she could move out when having issues with her sis but couldn't move when having misunderstanding with the man..
Aussie..
Blessings
The poster has her faults, yes (a lot has already been highlighted), but the man is callous. How do you treat another human being like a rag without any form of remorse? He must have given her some false hope that he would quit his marriage and then boom! After 3 kids he drops her and the kids off at his mother's like cargo without any decent discussion with her. What a dark soul. She must love him to even consider continuing in this charade after such a betrayal. If he loves his wife truly, why use another human being? The wife too should be careful because such a person can never be trusted. He will still create more drama in future. Poster they did not bury your placenta in that man's house. You are a single mother. Go out there find yourself and chase your dreams. Love will find you, abi you now think you are expired goods? No my dear. Success is the best revenge. You can do it!
Delete23:20
DeleteGOD bless you
This poster expects us to support her. Like seriously? You are the other woman, you are not his wife. Leave that man and his wife alone. The only thing he owes you is taking care of his children. He owes you nothing, not marriage, not affection, nothing!
ReplyDeleteWicked in laws most iikely had a hand in his issues with his wife. Go and marry his mother so she can take care of you. Nonsense!
"we have been having misunderstanding but that was because he always communicate with his ex wife in a romantic way and doesn't even want her to know he has another wife". I strongly suspect poster is lying when she said she didn't know he was still marries. If you are really upset with him not telling you, why are you adamant that he marries you? So he should throw away his wife?
Some women no get conscience sha! All because of money
I can't stand DULL WOMEN EHN.. JEEZ!!! There's one I am warning to leave a man that is stringing her along, she no gree, until she fall pregnant and starts seeking pity. Like a man No send you, he no send you. TAKE YOUR L AND MOVEEEE. Go and look for a job woman! you birthed 3 KIDS without being financially empowered?? THOSE BOYS MUST NOT SUFFER BECAUSE OF YOUR CARELESSNESS.
ReplyDeleteA baby mama is not better than a numbered wife abeg. Poster stay with his mother while you sort yourself out.
ReplyDeleteThem never born the. Situation that would make me date or marry a Nigerian Divorcee. It hardly ever ends well for the new wife. Rita D my heart is with you.
ReplyDeletePoster, you knew everything from the start. Maybe you heard the first wife had a baby girl and you wanted to birth Abraham for the man and be the madam of the house. This is 2023, a man told you he is divorced without proof and you believed him. Moved in with him, birth the first child and went ahead to born the second without him doing the needful
ReplyDeleteForget the mama that is giving you ginger. Look for job and face your life.
😄😄😄 ezigbote she wanted to birth Abraham for the man. Now she has birthed Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, still nothing.
DeleteForget the deceit of the man and him mama
DeleteWife wey move back na nonsense family you marry into
Sisi give yourself time limit for mama house, reconcile with GOD and look for work
No open leg for the useless man ever again, the animal wants to be eating his cake and having it
DeleteYou have 3 boys for him. Off course the mother would want you to stay with her for her grand kids. I guess that's why he didn't send you away too.
ReplyDeleteI will advice you stay with his mum until you find your feet, then move. But if you can afford a a place,kindly do and start life all over.
Except you wanna be the other woman that he will come to whenever he has an issue with his wife. And leave when they reconcile.
Don't bother making trouble because you have no case. So you won't disgrace yourself further.
And no need visiting churches or native doctor with assignments for God to restore your home and bring back your husband. Cos it was never yours.
See what brainwashing on gender worth and value caused. She thought she was secure because she had boys, not realizing she was used solely as an incubator. Will the wife not have boys too? The wife has his heart and he went back to the place his peace is at. A man will always go back to his peace; beauty, education, a tight snatch, and nothing a woman has will hold a man if his peace is not with her. The first thing a woman should find out before committing to a man or having children for him is who has his peace.
DeleteAnd since he knows who has his peace, why destroy others on the way to his peace? Such a man will never find peace. You wreck other peoples' lives and want to have peace. 😂 Peace ko piss ni. He even abandoned his 3 sons. Don't they need a father? This same guy may run after the poster once he finds another man is on her case. He is at best a wishy-washy kind of person. No integrity, no stability there. Peace indeed! I bet he has ulterior motives going back to his wife. Hope she is a vigilant person.
DeleteOh he will find peace. That is why a man can be married for 30 yrs proclaiming his love for the wife of his youth and end up marrying another woman 6 weeks after the supposed love of his life died and feel no pain about it. Men compartmentalize in a way women never understand. They are not women and always put themselves first. Even when it appears that they are doing you a favour, it is really themselves that they are doing a favour.
DeleteHe never destroyed her, he simply used her to stand in and fill a gap while he waited for what he truly wanted. She demanded nothing of him before turning over her fertility to him, not even marriage, and he gave her nothing because she meabt nothing to him. And he tossed her away to prove that she was nothing. There is nothing in the story to tell me he does not have contact with the children, all I know is that they do not live with him and his wife.
Childless women of marriageable age should protect their fertility with every drop of their blood and not allow just anyone to impregnate them. Better the poster had tried working things out with her sister, she never said the sister told her to leave and go find someplace else to live, just that they had problems, which all siblings do from time to time. Moving in with a strange man to shack up was a wrong choice. It doesn't even seem like he met her parents or even her sister.
I agree with you 100% he is wishy-washy without integeity or stability and apart from having a roof over his head at the time, the poster had no business entertaining him as possible husband material even if he was never married or childless.
Someone that doesn't even want his wife to know he has another family, poster if you follow all the advice here, you are a fool. Let that woman know you exist, don't be an accomplice in this, I didn't say you should go fighting. And he must take care of his kids- go through the necessary authorities.
DeletePoster,
ReplyDeleteThese are my thoughts from your chronicle:
1.You knew he had a wife
2. You knew his wife has a daughter
3. You and him convinced yourselves that she couldn’t have a son.
4. You moved in after his fake promises, and ‘luckily’ you had a son.
5. You thought having a son will make him keep you and completely divorce his wife.
6. After the first child , you suspected he isn’t playing your way ie.no bride price has been paid.
7. You let yourself have the second child to cement yourself in the ‘union’.
8. You know the arguments were mostly about not marrying you and still being in contact with his wife NOT ex wife.
And I believe YOU harassed his wife a couple of times on the phone. Lol…
9. Deep down you know you played yourself and he played you.
10. You know his mother (not your mother in law) is lying to you.
11. Somehow the lies from his mother is keeping you sane from the shame you feel.
12. Repent from your sins and mistakes.
13. Go to God in prayer and ask him to help you get your life back.
14. Stay away from married and ‘divorced’ men.
15. Don’t plan/wish a woman in her home evil or bad. It will back fire.
16. You deserve to have your home NOT a home you snatched from another woman.
17. Have a clean heart and seek God in everything.
This story made me remember a man that has issue of infidelity with his wife.
ReplyDeleteThe woman left ,only for another lady the man was cruising with birth 2 children within 2 years of his wife absence.
This man want his wife back with intention of keeping that lady as concubine.
This is a case of why buy the cow when i can get the milk for free. Women, we really need to do better.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeletePoster we all make mistakes and I believe you have learned your lesson. I don't support your baby daddy and I'm against any man who thinks women are objects they can use and dump. You can sue him in court. Don't let him go Scot free, sue him, trust me you will win the case. Just have evidence he lied to you about his status and promised you marriage.
ReplyDeleteForget about what his mum is saying; there's a possibility she's in on it from the start the reason you were moved to her house.
Just curious - What will the court do? Will they force him to marry her? There's no evidence of his lie and promise.. it's her word against his. No contract was signed. Unless you're talking about child support, which doesn't seem to be the case as he is providing accommodation for them already
DeleteI was feeling sorry for you till I got to the end and realized what an utter fool you are, you have learnt nothing after all.
ReplyDeleteOf course his mum will support you, you have given her grand kids, just dey play! For how long will you continue to make bad decisions?
Get a life
You had issues with your sister and you jumped into another woman's bed. Well, you have 3 kids, it's a plus for you. Allow their grandparents care for them, as it's that is probably the only way the man will be involved in the lives of those kids. Go beg your sister to forgive you. If and when she forgives you move in and humble yourself. You need a job, go for it.
ReplyDeleteDon't regret what happened, I guess it is the way you were preordained to have your children. Life is for the living , go all out to be happy. Please, don't listen to nay sayers. Find a space in your heart to forgive the man. You will be find, even if he marries you today, there are no guarantees that he won't push you out tomorrow.
Kai, he promised you marriage? How did you believe a promise not backed up with any work? Come dey birth children on top promise alone
ReplyDeleteThis is actually quute sad. My dear, only a man knows his heart, a man can tell you anything from his lips, but is it coming from his heart. Stop talking about him to his family, stop speaking his name to anyone. Focus on getting economic empowerment and security so you can eventually move from his family estate. See if there is a need in the community that a business could be successful at and start your business. If you need to go learn a skill go do it, if you need further education go get it. Find your inner strength, pray like you have never prayed before. Put God first in everything, forget about men and work to build up yourself. A man rejecting you is not the end of your life or story. Other women are purchasing land and building their own homes by legitimate labour.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you do please do not get comfortable in his family's estate, blood is thicker than water. When his wife start having other babies you will be seen in a different light. Work on your independence. If you need help from charities and Ngos seek them out. There is help out there if you go seeking. But if you sit down depressed thinking on him you will never get ahead. As hard as this is, wipe him from your memory as though he never existed. He has wiped you and the children out of his mind, life and energy, you must do the same or you will go crazy. You must erase him and move on so poverty does not consume you or those innocent children. Go build up a life you can look back on an be proud of. Take on opportunites that come your way, pray for wisdom, discernment and the spirit of right choices. God is all you truly have, let God light the way. All the best to you and those innocent children.
Don’t you have parents
ReplyDeleteAsk the guy to settle you with accommodation and slowly start finding your way in life
I feel like husband and wife played you. Probably his wife couldn't birth conceive anymore and they both planned to get a baby making machine and then discarded after they got what they wanted.
ReplyDeleteThis is painful.
Poster lock your wound and dust yourself up.
Empower yourself.
Get a job or business, package yourself and you will find a man that will love you for real.
You got nothing to lose, you will be fine.
Oh my my, didn't even think of this angle. No wonder the mum-in-law didn't seem perturbed at all, I mean your son had 3 kids outside while fully married. And how he promised her marriage to get her hooked, made her move in to ensure pregnancy occurs. And he didn't completely chase her out - he took her to Mama so that the kids would be cared for. She didn't complain of child support, meaning he is caring for the kids, just that he ain't wifing her. Ha, a case of city wife and the village wife. If this is the case, its unfair to all parties
DeleteSome men are sooo cuddled. Imagine a married man having 3 children outside and moving on like nothing happened. His mother learns of it and doesn't seem perturbed one bit by such information. On the other hand, any woman having even a child outside her marriage can kiss that marriage goodbye. Imagine if it was the man's wife that had kids outside - ha, mother in law would have chased her out pronto and marriage will end. Well, as other BVs have pointed out, mum in law seems not to like wifey so anything that smears the marriage in any way will be welcomed by her. Pls what God has joined together, let us kindly stop putting asunder. It's unfair. Inlaws, baby mamas, married people themselves - make una dey respect marriage, see it as honorable and have the bed undefiled. Poster, you are still saying throw that woman out? Which woman? That woman is his wife. You are the one that has been thrown out once the keys were changed.
ReplyDeleteAnd pls women learn. A man you are not married to did such grave thing to you and you are still willing to forgive and enter marriage as 2nd wife with your korokoro eyes. But your sister will do much less you won't forgive. Your friends will do much less you won't forgive. You will be a full grown adult with no single friend or sis to lean on in hard times but have a string of exes you are willing to forgive and take back, even begging them. Hmmmmmm receive sense oh women...
Thank you ooo. I wouldn't have bothered commenting if I had read your post.
DeleteThis hurt so much.truly it was a betrayal.i will advise you dear to find a way of empowering your self inorder to take good care of your kids. You don't need to force yourself on that man cos it's so obvious he will never change. Move on with your life. You have to be strong for those little angels of yours.
ReplyDeletePlease 🙏, I will advise you from my experience. Do not listen to his mother, she will be against you in the future when the chips are down. Better pack the pieces of what is left of you and leave.
ReplyDeleteAda Agu
Same thing I said, she should not get comfortable in that man's family eatate. I can see if she needs to stay for a while to catch herself up financialy, but to stay for life, she better collect sense oo.
DeleteI can only imagine the shame of going home in hard times with not just one mouth to feed but four. But going home to parents may be tough if they are a family of small means and no husband in the midst. Good parents will always take you back no matter how bad it gets. It may be wise for the poster to test the waters with her own family instead of staying with strange ppl. This is such a mess all around.
Young ladies, this story could be your story if you do not vet a man well and don't protect you fertility while you are single. Don't jump to sleep with or live with any man no matter what they tell you, move slow and let time reveal the truth.
Please 🙏, I will advise you from my experience. Do not listen to his mother, she will be against you in the future when the chips are down. Better pack the pieces of what is left of you and leave.
ReplyDeleteAda Agu
I don't know how anyone who claims to have common sense will have children without a stream of income.
ReplyDeleteOnce I see that the person has no job, even if its sekking pure water, I log off.
No energy listening to unserious stories.
Sorry next time don't use your heart use your head ok ,who will now marry you with 3guys you better be concubine or single mum and look for a job please don't make any trouble because you will end in jail nobody know you , nothing to show you are his wife
ReplyDeleteThis poster appears very mean. The kind of side chick most women pray they’re men (if they ever try to cheat), never meet. Desperados that don’t mind breeding & becoming co-wives! Did you gloss over your character flaws to elicit sympathy?
ReplyDeleteYou knew he was communicating “romantically” with his wife, (not ex-wife) btw. Yet you stayed, hoping to displace her! What if she travelled or lives abroad on their joint agreement & there was no quarrel? If she doesn’t know you after 3 kids, they may not even have quarreled! Once you became aware he was speaking with love to his wife, you KNEW he was solidly married. How can you quarrel with him for what many smart women will see as a sign & run? You knew you were dating a married (not about to divorce) man, your aim was to be a co-wife as you believe the child’s gender was an opportunity in a society that places value on male kids.
Trying to force a man to commit when he clearly doesn’t seem to want it since he is married reeks of low self esteem. You didn’t tell us if you deliberately had the kids, who knows if the cheat of a man asked you to be on contraception or dissuaded you from having kids. You kept having unprotected sex with a married man & popping babies while pressuring him to leave the wife he clearly still loves. The baby mama phenom is black American ghetto behavior that is getting copied. It is rooted in poverty & unfair mass incarceration of more black guys for minor drug offenses in the ghetto back in the days. Some women felt the need to trap a man as a source of income & validate their self worth with kids! As a woman, I love it when both parties WANT to have the babies they are blessed with. I don’t understand the low self esteem of having unprotected sex & babies that one party does not want, then blaming him for a decision YOU made solely. Yes sex is between two people but if a woman doesn’t want to get pregnant, she won’t, most times! My white patients are sexually active from 15 or even less but you will hardly see them get pregnant! It’s the black ones who may not even be as active as the white ones that have 3 babies from 3 men by age 21! A woman has more control over pregnancy decision hence reproductive rights laws are framed as women’s rights.
Your post brought memories of what a desperado did to my late younger sister. She was TTC. A wicked side chick (obviously with knowledge he has no kids as a young married man) constantly harassed her & taunted her on phone, asking her to pack out of her husband’s house since she had no kids for him! The once loving “Christian” guy became a monster at home, my late sister would sit in her parked car & weep bitterly before entering the house, as I learnt after her death. She never spoke bad about the useless man even as his interest waned in the fertility treatments. The change in the man was almost diabolical, it took her friend who had connections to warn this wicked side chick to back off else she will organize her humiliation! She was too heartbroken at her husband’s apparent inaction. She died heart broken & within a couple of years the husband had 3 kids! The desperado side chick & the jerk “husband” that I bought everything from shoes to suits for thinking he treated my sister right, “killed” her!
Thank God this woman has a daughter, imagine the audacity of a baby mama threatening to go into the estate to confront the wife? Or the pathetic man? Your story is probably known by everyone in the estate as the baby mama!
You show no remorse or acceptance of responsibility for your actions, only a sense of entitlement. Go get a job, be content with the child support you get from the man. Don’t go diabolical or try to harm them in any way, as your lack of remorse & inability to take responsibility for your actions is clear from your narrative! You probably didn’t appreciate your sister, you left her after a disagreement & moved in with a rich or comfortable married man! Stay with his mom till you get on your feet financially.
you gave your sister reasons to laugh at you, you are the real mumu. believe a divorced or separated man at your peril. pick the pieces of your life and move on. look for a job and start afresh, the man is gone.
ReplyDeleteHe's a married man
ReplyDeleteSeems like a lady that loves to depend on people. You moved in and didn't have a job. You were just nyashing to lock dude down based on his property which you wanted a part of. If you didn't, wanting access back into his home would not be your first priority.
ReplyDeleteYour priority should be feeding those kids and making sure they don't suffer the consequences of your actions.
Go get a job and stop being lazy. If not the next nutter would take you in and nut some more. Then feed you to the streets.
Punnani ≠ Love
Punnani ≠ Inheritance
Punnani ≠ Title
#saynotooshofree