Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

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Thursday, March 30, 2023

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

Hmmm....




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
COUPLES WITH SEPARATE BEDROOM

My man and I are in a serious relationship leading to marriage. We've been dating for some good months now. He has met some of my family and vice versa unofficially (calls and video) and we plan on visiting both families soon to solidify the relationship and further plan our wedding.

 I have a salary job that caters for my needs but i also plan on setting up a business soon to enhance my financial strength before the marriage. I own a car and doing pretty well for myself. 

My boyfriend has a salary job too and he's also an IT guy on the side. He wants to capitalise on his IT skills now to earn a better pay.
He loves me and i know it. I love him too, no doubt but there's something about him that really bothers me. 

My bf doesn't like to share a bedroom. When we started dating, i complained about it cos i wanted to know if i was the problem.
Well, my bf said he doesn't just like sharing a bedroom. He further stated that he has been like that for a very long time. He doesn't like sharing a bedroom with anyone, not friends, family, and even in his past relationships. He said he don't sleep well when someone is on same bed with him.

I told him it's strange to me because I didn't grow up in a home where parent share separate bedrooms.

Presently, he lives in a single bedroom apartment. Whenever i spend the night at his place, he sleeps on the sofa in the sitting room. It really affected my sleep cos i find it hard to sleep at night knowing my bf is sleeping on the sofa and I'm alone in the room. I am a cuddly kind of person. I love hugs, Doesn't necessarily have to end up in s#x, just hold me in your arm or at least be close to me. I just want to know you're there. I feel safe and peaceful. 

I told him about it and he made some effort in the sense that after i sleep off, he leaves the bedroom and goes to lay on the sofa till morning. But if i sleep off before him, he doesn't bother to come to the bedroom. 

We're planning on getting a 3 bedroom apartment before the wedding and he specifically told me he will have a room to himself to serve as his home office (for his IT stuff) as well as his bedroom. This means he'll only come to my room for intimacy or any day he feels like. This doesn't sit well with me at all.

I've tried to make him see reasons with me, like a case of medical emergency could occur at night and i might need help immediately. It could also be him. He told me he's just a door away. He's not looking like someone who will change his mind on this. 

He's a great guy but this issue is slowly becoming a turn off for me cos whenever we sleep separately, i wake up in the morning with a foul attitude and then he starts complaining that I'm giving an attitude. Please i need some contributions. Thank you.


*  I dont see this as an issue at all...People who live together also needs space so that it does not choke....... I know some people who divorced because one party felt choked and did not have space in the house...Separate bedroom does not mean less love...
When you marry him and the babies start coming, you will find a separate bedroom really OK in the beginning.....
Besides you get to beautify your room ow you want it so its fun, you can also visit his room and he yours...its fun and might work out well if you learn to see it so...

102 comments:

  1. I’m good with it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some people are like that. My husband parents had separate bedrooms. I sleep on same bed with hubby,but i hate cuddling. I hate someone's body touching me while i sleep,my hubby likes cuddling. We had ro adjust somehow.

      Delete
  2. He doesn’t love you enough.

    Sluttychic.

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    Replies
    1. This is not true
      Poster, he loves you, he is just who he is, you don’t expect someone who has had a habit (that is not necessarily a bad habit) all his life to just change immediately.
      I have a friend who hates bodily contact when lying on a bed (she’s female).

      This guy may have had his independence since childhood and likes his room a certain way and smelling a certain way, you have also said he is a good guy so please endure.

      I hate cold places and my hubby hate hot places so sometimes I end up sleeping somewhere else, we can compromise some days but it’s just what I like.
      Also men are not the only one that can compromise, if this is his only flaw please adjust, and don’t keep nagging or trying to cajole him about it.


      Push up (original)

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    2. That is not true, understand that people are different. For me, I cannot cuddle and sleep, no matter what. My husband dint like it at first, but he has let me be

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    3. πŸ˜‚ I love my space also o. I don’t like my body touching another when it is not during intimacy. Snoring puts me off. I like my space bc I love to be with my thoughts in quiet times. When I watch tv, I like not to be disturbed.

      He loves you but likes his space. Hopefully when the marriage has advanced, he will be the one teasing you to move into his room. Stop pushing it.

      Delete
    4. Thank you @ the original Push up.

      Delete
    5. I'm that kind of person that likes her space and it doesn't mean that I don't love with all my heart.

      This is my dreams kind of marriage and I love it.😊

      Delete
    6. Abi slutty that’s what she wants to hear cos this is a no issue.

      Delete
  3. It happens. People are sometimes like that, but not to leave the bedroom or bed. Its just how he grew up and changing it might not be easy. Hes someone who likes his space, no disturbance, talk less, stays to himself and might also have OCD. You either have to bear with him or allow him the chance to change on his own.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If he likes his space, then why bring someone into his space?? He wants to have his cake and eat it. No compromise at all??? Selfish selfish man. Poster sha tie your wrapper well and get ready because you have no business marrying someone like this! He does not love you enough or any woman enough to make changes. So make he enjoy his space na.

      Delete
    2. Poster listen to this advice above. If you want to have a good marriage. This single problem will drain you emotionally. Intimacy in marriage is not just sex. It’s the fact that you are comfortable in each other’s arms. I don’t think I should go ahead with this marriage yet. This is really a big deal. I lack words to really explain to u

      But never marry a selfish man. Never. He isn’t even willing to meet you halfway. This will end up in heavy tears. Trust me

      Zendaya

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  4. Hhmm, atleast he said it in time, so you can make your choice, no be tomorrow you go say this that and the other happened. If you don't feel comfortable with the situation now and you are tired of making him see reasons, count your blessings and call it off.

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    1. Gbam. She’s been warned.

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  5. Buy an emperor size bed. It's much bigger, wider and longer than a King size bed.

    He takes one side and you other....same room but far away.

    After intimacy, you can "roll away" from each other and face your side.

    Or you face the truth that he loves his space, because when you have children, you will be grateful for that space.

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  6. I do not agree with you Stella.
    Obviously this poster sees it as a necessity to share a sleeping space with her husband to be.
    You know you don’t like something but you’re still choking head.
    My dear, find your square root!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Since she sees it as a necessity she better let him be
      Love requires sacrifice, it does not judge abeg. If you cannot let this one thing go what happens when bigger issues come up?

      Delete
    2. Abi, Instead of fouling the man's life as she has started fouling his mornings.

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    3. Abii… no need to drag this at all. Two different mindset here.

      Delete
  7. Well I understand how you feel but I understand him too . If this makes you feel so bad, then he's not the one for you.

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  8. I don’t understand some women o
    You’re seeing the signs before marriage why you should call it off but no I must marry!
    Abeg don’t come and give us chronicles in future o

    ReplyDelete
  9. Poster stop looking at things only from the pink lens. Once in a while, you also look at things from the blue lens to understand how others feel. You both have to come together and have an agreement. You should know that relationship and marriage is 50/50 not 100/50.

    Your upbringing is different from his, he is used to the system and cannot change so soon. Do not think you can change a grown man whose mother was not able to change him from birth. He said he cannot share a room with you, you are saying you must share a room with him. You both are right but in different ways.

    If you know that you will nag this guy after the wedding night please just walk away, if you can cope with this attitude of his after the wedding night please go ahead. You said he is a good guy, he loves you, you both are good together only the room sharing. When you put to birth you will want some space, you both may start and during pregnancy, oga may change oh.

    Just saying be sure of what you want, and never you leave a good man cos of something you can ignore.

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    1. English Supu 🀣 pink lens and blue lens πŸ˜… I have lens another one today πŸ™ŒπŸ½ I love me some SDK VILLE 😁

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    2. Anon, you're actually the olodo here. Blue lens is used for men and pink lens for women.

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    3. Poster pray!

      Pray about this oo, this unwillingness to shift or compromise
      Pray o

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    4. 17:21 no need for name calling. If you were so smart, you would have known that it was tease and nothing else. Truly, there are a lot of bitter people in here. Take it easy, life ain’t that hard 😝

      Delete
  10. I have told my wife that once I build our own house, we maintain separate rooms. I feel surfocated sleeping by her side. She chases me to the verge of falling off the bed. I sleep near the wall, she chases me as if I should pass through the wall.

    It's not every one that's clingy. I feel surfocated. Sometimes, I wake in the night to see how she left her side of the bed and trying to squeeze in my side. I have complained on end.

    Buy yourself a big teddy bear to cling on if it that's serious.

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    1. It is a privilege to be desired ooooπŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

      Once in awhile space is okay by me but everyday sleeping apart doesn't have my name written there.

      Poster this can be a serious issue for you in the future. Until you accept him as he is, don't go to the altar with him o. Thank God you saw it on time.

      Delete
    2. 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣 your wife shaaaa. But true, she should buy herself some huge teddy πŸ˜…

      Delete
    3. 🀣🀣🀣🀣 wahala no too much!

      You wife just want to be close to you and be cuddled up na.🀣

      Delete
    4. 🀣🀣🀣

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    5. Chika (hello iya boys)30 March 2023 at 21:20

      🀣🀣🀣 Lmao

      Delete
    6. Lwtmb 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

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  11. I didn't marry my ex because of this same issue. He said we will have separate rooms and we will only come together to have s*x and that the coming of a baby too will not allow him to share a room with me as he cannot cope with the intrusion that comes with omugwo.
    I on the other hand have been fantasizing of how I would always use my husband's chest as my pillow every night. All these rules, and others did not sit well with me.

    Long story short, he got married before me and eventually shared a room with his wife, now ex-wife. He reached out to me and we were cordial but I got married to a man that has the same value, and opinion with me. He wanted me back but I jumped and pass. I later blocked him before someone will come and pour sand in my gaari. He left his wife broken because she's now always ranting on facebook and shading him and her ex-inlaws.

    Marriage itself comes with a lot of unseen wahala so pls poster, try and eliminate what will add to these stress, wahala and fight. If you're not comfortable with his idea, pls find someone else that won't have a problem sharing a room with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Omo, I must share room/bed oo.
      I cannot deal with seperate rooms.
      Even if there are 20 rooms in the house .

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    2. You made the right decision.

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

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    3. Amen to your comment. Thanks for sharing. Poster you’re reading and absorbing it. He doesn’t have your love language. It’ll be a tough road ahead of you plan forever with him. I know how sweet it is cuddling with my husband’s broad chest and strong arms and sweet morning sex and cuddles and pillow talk and just cuddles without talking self. How you go dey do that?🀷🏽‍♀️ goodluck o. You’ll need it.

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  12. Dey play ooo. Go and check if he is gay ooo. I don't subscribe to leaving in separate rooms o. He has good future and money might not be a problem. I will dig a little futher and see if there is something I need to know. Do not marry this man. Loneliness will finish you. Don't ever cope with something you know means alot to you. If he is not into cuddling and all, I understand but not sleeping in the same room get as e be o.

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    1. Aye! Poster please be sure he doesn't play for the other team oo. Why didn't I think this deep? πŸ€”

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    2. No be everything be gay! People are different, please.πŸ™ƒ

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    3. Abi oo. Or just want to marry to shut his family’s mouth up. Hmmm

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  13. abeg abeg abeg I’ll go mad if my partner doesn’t sleep on same bed with me. WTF? how do we bond if we living like neighbours? Kmt

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    1. As in ehn. If my husband mistakenly sleeps off in the living room while watching a movie, I must later go wake him up to come sleep. Why should I be married and ‘sleeping single’.

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    2. God abeg!!! Huge turn off! So you will just come and have sex and leave? Because why? Nonsense!

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    3. The thing no tire una?? You see that snore I want to hear it and then pinch him to adjust his snore πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    4. Hahaha 🀣 aproko oo. He’ll adjust his snore ni and cuddle after. What nonsense rule in this early marriage. Ahhh Oga o.

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    5. Aproko ehhh πŸ˜‚. You see that snoring part hennn, no worry, I like it like that. Tap him to adjust, sleep continues. Separate room ko! Please don't cope with what means a lot to you, someone said it up there and I agree 100%.

      Delete
  14. Maybe for me
    But I don't buy or will ever agree to married couple sleeping in different room
    Never

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  15. Chronicle Poster,

    Don't go into that marriage if you don't feel comfortable about this all, so you don't end up creating problem tomorrow over this. He will justify himself that he told you earlier into the relationship.

    I don't think I can sleep in a separate room from my woman. Not at all.

    There are two bvs here who said same to me during our chatting phase that they can't share bedroom in marriage. That was even the main reason I lost interest in the communication with them.

    Some women also likes it that way. While some may not like it.

    In summary, when you see what will give you a headache in marriage, please take a walk. Don't settle for it, cos it doesn't end well most times. Forget about what anyone tells you. At the end, it's you and you alone going through it.

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  16. I am like your husband to be, I love my space

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  17. You’re both incompatible and this is a recipe for disaster in marriage. Find someone you’re compatible with and enjoy peace of mind in your marriage. Why are you forcing yourself to marry this guy? Who sent you? Know yourself and know what you can and cannot take from people and avoid what you’re uncomfortable with. You have seen the red flags, don’t think you can change this guy in marriage, leave him and find who likes to share a room and intimacy with his spouse and let him find who’s comfortable sharing separate rooms with. Trust me, marriage is a long journey and you certainly don’t want to journey it in separate rooms with your spouse. A word is enough for the wise.

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    Replies
    1. Gbam. It’ll be a long and very lonely marriage. Poster I take God beg you, leave this relationship and call it a day. Na every morning you go dey give foul attitude? When you shd be happy to say good morning and hug your man. It’ll even get more lonely when you’re pregnant because those hormones fit do you anyhow and you’ll need your man to cuddle you at night time. You’ll get over the heart break with time.

      Delete
  18. My dear, this will be a huge problem for u and to be honest, it's very very weird. I really don't know how you guys can form and maintain a good bond if u don't even sleep on the same bed.

    I hope it's not even more than it looks sef cos this is quite suspicious.

    If he's not willing to compromise on that, personally, I will totally abort mission.

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  19. That is who he his, I don't see anything bad in it, there are sacrifices to be made for two to come together, if this will be too much for you, it's better you opt out or ask if you can have two bed in the same bedroom to solve the emergency palava or speak to a counselor who might have handled similar case. Some people hate people breathing close to them on bed.


    Felicity

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  20. Don't go further if you know you wouldn't be able to live with that. You'll find a man who loves to cuddle, and he'll find a woman who wants her own bedroom. Shikena

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  21. I have never seen a problem with this. It's not as though our insistence on sharing a bed has stopped infidelity or divorce. I knew a couple who had separate bedrooms and it worked for them. I can do a same bedroom, but I have no desire to share a bathroom and that is a hard requirement for me. No matter how great the love, I need my own bathroom and I will not budge on that. Your boyfriend truly may not sleep well with someone next to him, ppl are different. Since you need to sleep next to someone then this may not be the man for you, despite the compatibiity in other ways. I do not believe in trying to force someone into something when they have been truthful.

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    Replies
    1. He is giving off emotionally unavailable vibes. Be careful. Ensure he doesn’t play for the other team as some have advised. There are too many challenges in marriage to build secrecy into the mix. Is it not selfish to only plan on a three bedroom and have two to himself? Don’t you need the office too? It should be OUR office not his, even if he uses it 99% of the time. Beware of a marriage within a marriage these days that everyone is often on their phone and laptop. If you guys japa, most homes on the market have a huge master bedroom for a couple, the other rooms are designed for the children and guests unless you build yours! It’s because it’s the norm. With huge closets and bathrooms in the bigger homes & two shower heads in an huge shower plus the jacuzzis all linked to ONE master bedroom will he push you to one of the children’s rooms and take over the one adjacent to the shower, jacuzzi, toilet & closet? Think 10/20/30+years down the road when planning to marry, not just early stage omugwo. Mine snores but for years I tap him to turn his back, he does but resumes a few minutes later. I’m used to the snoring so much I don’t sleep well when he travels! I like to cuddle though I won’t fall asleep but at least he is there. If I want to cause a quarrel, it’s to go and sleep in another room! You will think I just divorced him as he throws tantrums about me “sleeping” in another room. Nothing bonds a couple like sleeping in the same room, on the same bed etc. it’s a union of two to become one. A mathematical law created by God himself. I’m not condemning those who love to have separate bedrooms in any way but even a Jack & Jill combination two room suite bonds siblings as they share the shower, bath, toilet & storage. Some of the college orientation some schools do here for freshmen is to prepare them to share dormitories as many are from families where they were the only kids or just one of 2/3 kids in a wealthy home so colleges hold sessions on sharing dorm facilities.

      Many of the problems in our parents marriages and the relationship ish can be traced to the use of separate bedrooms. I’m not saying leave him but do your due diligence. I wish there was a way to conduct background checks on dates & suitors as I do with anyone my adult own are dating. I pay & conduct a check first to avoid soppy stories. Living in a huge house, we still share a bed even as the children have grown and left the house. The other rooms are empty till they come and visit. They are not my room. Marriage is a marathon. Don’t settle.

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    2. Don’t mind them they should keep forming woke

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    3. Inukwa sleep in different rooms Mchew

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  22. It's not a big deal jare
    It's either you stay put or let him be then

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  23. Means both of you are not compatible, no compromise either way. So you can opt out, because if you cajole him into sharing a bedroom, he may resent you in the long run.

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  24. This is extreme. So he can't give you the chance to sleep together for a complete night even for one day in a week or even one day in a month?
    I know some people don't like sharing a room because they need privacy, but then, this dude is not giving you one full night in a week to sleep with him, hmmm...

    On another angle: Poster do you snore? I don't share a room with someone that snores even though I am a little guilty of snoring sometimes, maybe when I have catarrh, lol. I so hate the sound of it. I won't be able to sleep for the night when in a room with some that snores.And I believe snoring is the only natural phenomenon that can make a person unable to share a room with anybody. Besides when there is strong love the person won't feel the disturbance at night.

    If I were you, I'll always tiptoe to his room to peep how his night is going. Check if there is something he is doing at night that he's been hiding from you.Don't loose guard yet.

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  25. He might be gay. He might be on the spectrum. He might not be into you.

    Unknown to me, my husband was that way initially in marriage. It was terrible!

    I cuddle and kiss for a living! Lol

    I lost weight, I was so dark, I looked emancipated, it affected communication, bond, and intimacy.

    Sex was terrible!

    I tried to endure it for 4 years. I just couldn’t

    I left him and relocated out of the country. After my relocation I called him and told him I wanted a divorce.

    He begged and begged. Told me he WILL change.,

    Long story short he changed I called off the divorce.


    My advise: leave this man. This is a clear case of being unsuitable for each other.

    Why?

    A core need of yours is a core issue for him.

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  26. Please poster I beg you, don’t say because you want to be Mrs, you agree to this.

    You think you can cope naa, lol! Wait to you see how much nagging this will cause later, even cheating can start easily because separate rooms allow more lonely times. I agree that no one is perfect but then one man’s meat is another man’s poison.
    He is already saying your attitude sucks every morning,
    What happens when you want to do pet talks or gossip in the middle of the night kinda bonding

    Stella Dear , pls answer truthfully, Do you and your husband share separate beds? Okay if you say you do, when you first got married did you have have separate beds. ?

    It is well poster. Marriage amplifies whatever was there before. Know this and have peace

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam. But desperation will still let her go ahead. Then eyes will now clear and start regretting. And bring innocent kids into their nonsense arrangement. Poster if you’re not selfish enough for you, be selfish enough for your unborn kids! Separate bedroom especially in a new marriage won’t work at all. No early morning cuddles, sex or alone time to just wrap in each others arms. He’s not emotionally available o. It’s glaring he’s not and if you’re the emotional type, it won’t work. Why go through this type of marriage and divorce??🀷🏽‍♀️ e no make sense at all.

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  27. So how about honeymoon?. Wedding night. You will get two separate rooms. Hian…

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  28. Poster I didn’t even finish reading your chronicle and came here to say, abort mission immediately. You’re a cuddly type in bed, he doesn’t like to share space. If he loves you enough, he will compromise and trust me whenever you guys have quarrels, it’ll be much more easier for him to sleep alone and even prolong the fight sef to have his own space/bedroom. This marriage won’t work because you’ll feel neglected. He won’t be able to cater to your love language. I bet you this is one of the reasons he’s still single. A woman who’s not desperate for marriage won’t go into something like. Starting off like that in a new marriage is not good at all. You guys need that physical/emotional bond. It won’t work out. Wait for your husband please. Ps: I’m sure he knows how to bang weller and sleep on the same bed during sexπŸ™„

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  29. For a person like me,I share a room with my wife but I would rather not.I am a very neat and meticulous person and women are generally clumsy.My wife is neat but then the hair on the floor,can’t find my stuff where I keep them,underwear hanging somewhere cos she doesn’t want to dry them in the dryer etc..all that stuff pisses me off but she no gree me Dey sleep for another room.

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    Replies
    1. Women are generally clumsy? Seems more like it's the women in your life that are generally clumsy.

      Delete
  30. Are you not sleeping alone now or in your father house you are sharing bed to sleep ,we are not the same so let him be that is his life if you can't adapt to his life don't marry him he won't change,better look for another but must everything be cuddle ,cuddle no pray or spiritual excercise ,you can be cuddling with teddy bear

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    Replies
    1. You took the words and questions off my keypad.

      Poster, do you wake up foul in your own apartment now?

      Are you ready to wake up in foul mood every day of your marriage?

      You may say I want to go, and the man may agree to change to keep you. But are you sure you would like to start waking up to a foul mood man every morning?

      You know the answers.

      For your information, there are lots of women and men married but sleeping in separate rooms. And their marriages are stronger than the Olumo Rock of Abeokuta, Ogun State, Nigeria.

      Not every good thing is necessary. However, if a good thing is necessary, we have to go find it where it is rather than force another person to give it to us at the expense of that person's happiness or peace.

      Wishing you happy married life.

      Delete
    2. Stop living a management life

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    3. Stop living a management life

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  31. My own is that he is telling you now so you will know. You don't like the arrangement still want to go ahead to marry him.? I don't understand you. Leave now that its still early. Or stay and live with it.

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  32. Hmm, I am a team no-separate bedrooms with an attitude to it, like why would I share bedrooms with my man. Boom we got engaged (traditionally), now we live together hence the need to share bedroom (my aim). Trust me I wish we had separate bedrooms, at the moment I can only sleep sound, deep and well on nights he sleeps in the living room or he is aware (I still can not explain why till now). And me not getting sound sleep really affects my day's activity and mind.

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  33. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ when you people would rearrange and redecorate everywhere to your taste..
    The house go come be like another person house to the owner..

    It's usually the man compromising everything after marriage, Baba go even begin watch zeeworld and pretend to love it just for peace to reign..

    Abeg leave that guy to have a space of his own or bounce..

    No need for too much talk..

    Like BBπŸ’Ÿ would say.. you have 2 options....

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  34. @poster,, I am a lady like you, still married to my man for 11 years, having separate sleeping rooms since day 1, and, we both respect each other's space.

    My boyfriend (now husband) is a heavy snorer, guy can snore for the whole world while I 'the lady' always fights Kungfu while sleeping, we both have our faults and we were bold enough to talk about it during our courtship freely, he snores due to health related issue whereas I fight in my sleep because of my upbringing.. I was the only girl amongst 5 boys, I always had to fight my way to get a space in our 'children's room as me and my siblings shared same bed, leaving my parents for boarding house I had to share a bed with a mate that was way bigger than me in size, I had to battle to sleep to avoid suffocation hence my kungfu skills came in handyπŸ•ΆπŸ˜ˆπŸ‘».

    At Uni, I finally got a bigger space to myself and thought it would solve my problems but, forgetting that old habits die hard I found myself still kicking my friends when they came for sleepovers, this situation of mine went very long and deep, some said its physiological issues while others say I was born to be a fighter.. Lol:-P others suggest I find my way back to Asia to find my ancestors!! Sounds funny right?

    This problem made me shy away from so many things at school I never mixed with guys (intimately) because of the fear of not killing someone's son out accidentally lol.. When I met my husband (boyfriend) I was hiding that part of me , many times he would invite me over for the weekend and I'd give excuses and go visiting g only during the day to avoid falling asleep.. This part of me went on till one day we were both stuck in a friend's house because of rain and were offered a room to share for the night!! No way out for me, I kept wake till nature told me otherwise when I fell asleep unknowingly , woke up the next day I saw my guy sleeping on the floor next to the exit door, snoring like a fallen elephant and I was SOO angry or irritated I had to wake him up to stop before the roof falls on us, there came the quarrel, he shot back at me that maybe if I hadn't tried to kill him while asleep he wouldn't have left the bed.. Lol I felt so really shy afterwards.. On our drive back we both were quiet all through until we got home, after resting he called me with a bottle of with e in his hands and asked that I sit down so that we could talk about what happened which I did sit down and apologetically opened up to him the reasons why I always refused to sleep at his place, he told me his side of his story too and we both agreed to give each other chance to truely open up in that area..

    Poster, maybe there are things/habits/life style that your man is not yet comfortable sharing with you, go to him with love and ask him to open up to you, make him trust you enough to share, it has nothing to do with whether or not he loves you (you already said he is a nice guy) sleeping apart is not a big deal in my circle.

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    Replies
    1. Well difference is, you guys spoke about it before marriage and you were both fine with it and there are reasons because of this. In poster’s case, she’s not ok with it. Time to pack up this relationship and move on with your life poster.

      Delete
    2. Na waa for you 18.09. See correct advice and you still commented under it with your negativity.

      Delete
    3. 20:33 how I’m I negative?? Did we read the same comment?🀷🏽‍♀️ shoooo. Anon discussed it with her man before she eventually married him nah. Poster’s not ok with her own arrangement so make she move on with her life.

      Delete
  35. You never see your husband o!
    Yes, he's not for you, keep looking.

    Compatibility is the beginning of happy marriage, so look for your kind.😎

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  36. Poster if this is a big priority for you then I'll tell you to end it now but not without advicing you that a time will come in marriage when you'll cherish your space especially when the babies start coming. I was once like you very clingy while my husband was opposite he also pitched the idea of separate rooms but I insisted we stay in the same room. we did that for awhile but you can't really change what's inbuilt with time he went back to his old self either sleeping in the spare room or parlour anywhere at all sleep finds him except our room I had to adapt and understand that this is how he is . Surprisingly nowadays I've gotten used to my space too he's the one now complaining that I'm no longer clingy. In all marriage is all about compromise and understanding you can't get everything you want out of it. Goodluck.

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    Replies
    1. But una con dey complain up and down. Sleeping separately once in a while is fine and healthy to be honest. But everyday in and out? How’s your bond with him nowadays?? Make you talk truth. I slept separately for some time when I gave birth and it caused that neglect and lack of bond time with my husband. We had to start sleeping in the same bed again and resume our sweet cuddles πŸ₯°

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  37. Every man for himself. Me am team no clingy. I love my space, love my things the way I left it, love my zone and love to be on my own side while my husband and I sleep.
    Body touch dey iritate me, but over 15yrs of marriage, I have learnt to compromise and adjust.
    Baby girl, when children start coming, I promise you say na u go chase am out of that room.
    But if it is a deal breaker for you, waka now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not every one abeg stop lying. I have kids and still enjoy my sweet time in the same bed with my husband. Kids join us once in a while self. It’s fun and create that family bonding time especially in the early mornings ☺️

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    2. I was team "same room" before I got married as I believed it will be faster to makeup if we both sleep on the same bed every night. My husband was always scared of sleeping on the same bed with our kid and started sleeping in another room. Now that he is trying to reclaim his spot, I have fallen in love with sleeping on a king-size bed all by myself. I also wanted my own toilet, and I'm loving every bit of it. I have my own home office, he has his. If it's a deal breaker for you, you may consider moving on but considering that you may actually like it when stress from kids and running a home kick in, I would say, give it a chance. As long as he doesn't ban you from entering his room, you can go in there to cuddle or chill with him every night and then go back to your room to sleep.

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  38. Poster pray about it, pray that you should accept him that way and stop being angry about it. Inquire if there is more to it through prayer.
    As long as you are sure there is nothing else to this preference then I don't see this as a problem.
    Like madam Stella said it can and will be fun to experience this kinda living.
    You might even come to appreciate it soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don’t get. What other prayer? When something is so clear what on earth is she praying about.

      This is a clear case of I can do or I can’t do.

      Poster, please leave this man alone.

      Delete
    2. Lol fun ke? It’s not fun for her right now so how will she have fun with this type of marriage arrangement? Pray for what exactly? Because he’s the only man left on this planet earth? This should be a dealbreaker for her. It just won’t work out period. Poster update us on your final decision please. Thank you.

      Delete
  39. The solution here is have separate rooms. Put all your things in one room. Then you put his things in the third room then he should compromise and share the master bedroom with you for the night. Intimacy might not be once at night. It can happen again before daybreak around four. Once it's time to get ready for work go to your room. He will still have his space like that. If he doesn't agree to this then 440 and wait for yours.

    ...MadeNew...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which kind of arrangement be this for goodness sake. Marriage dey ooo. Different marriages dey. We really don’t know what goes on in different homes sha. I grew up with two parents sleeping and cuddling in one room o. Na wa oo.

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    2. Different strokes for different folks. Some people sleep on the same bed every night and still cheat on their partner like mad. Again, poster, na you wear the shoe. This is your decision to make. Everyone on this blog is different and will advise you based on their preference but you need to decide which decision gives you the most peace and take it.

      Delete
  40. He’s not gay is he? Quietly sneak into his room one night and spread his ynash to see if you’ll see any gaping hole lol πŸ˜† if you see am, quietly pack your bag that same night and wait till morning sha before leaving. Or you fit leave that same night self if your heart can’t take what you see πŸ˜€πŸ€£. On a serious note though, if this is an issue for you, sleeping separately, it’s time for your to leave that relationship.it won’t work. Goodluck.

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  41. oga madam u better run. you cannot survive it. u go still repeat this chronicle if you go ahead

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  42. oga madam u better run. you cannot survive it. u go still repeat this chronicle if you go ahead

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  43. Them nor born with anybody! I sleep on my couch most times. I like my space! I don't share room and bathroom with anyone! By the way, I am a woman; I hate body contact while sleeping and most of all, I don't want to wake up next to anybody with smelling mouth or breath! I snore sometimes, and I can't stand others snoring. Is up to you,to decide, what's best for you! Nothing to pray about here! If you're not comfortable with it,then bounce.

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    Replies
    1. Well not everyone is like you! You’re fine with it she’s not. That’s why we’re different. Someone like poster’s bf will fit you like a glove! Una go dey continue single life in marriage and that’s fine for some people. Poster find someone you’re compatible with
      Period. No need to prolong or stress this. With time, the emotions will wear off after the breakup. If not then prepare for an emotional roller coaster that might mess you up completely in marriage. I pray that won’t be your portion. Amen.

      Delete
  44. Poster I take God beg you, don’t do it. I’ve been sleeping separately with my spouse for about 5+ years now and the emotional bond is gone. I’m the cuddling type & he’s not. We didn’t date for too long before tying the knot and didn’t know he’s not the emotional available type of guy. I have cried too much in this marriage. Just waiting for my kids to grow up a bit more so I can move on with my life. Right now I’m not financially boyant to leave. It’s the most lonely type of relationship and you’ll regret it. Some of these women saying what’s wrong with it are probably the ones lashing out here on this blog. You think it’s easy?? For your own sake, cut off this relationship now.

    ReplyDelete

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