MARRIED TO A LAST BORN
I married a last born who is almost 40 and still behaves like a baby. Our marriage is not up to one year, we have separated but still living together till I get my money and all that, and leave.
Pls don't marry into family that don't have boundaries . My soon to be ex husband family don't have boundaries, always poke nosing into my marriage and the foolish I married doesn't know better.
I really regret marrying this man, Stella, I met him here oo, on one of the Stellas singles mingle and after telling you my relationship problem then, you warned me to leave that time, but I refused, my quest for marriage blocked my reasoning. Now I am tired and wants to start all over again. Glad I have the strength to.
In my next life, I will never ever marry into a family that hates me, a tribe I detest so much and a man I know can't make his decisions as a man and can't leave parents and siblings and cleave unto his wife.
PS: I never know divorce runs in their family, till I married this one, guess he has caught the divorce bug too.
GOD, please help me...
So some last borns dey carry this behaviour enter marriage? na wah
You are the one tht wears the shoe and knows where it pinches....I pray that you find love again and wish you all the best.
It's nobody's fault because you were warned. Dust your shoes and move forward, some people will first branch at where they were never going before reaching their final destination. I pray you get it right in your next step. Stay strong dear, all the best
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
The one na mumu, you deserve what came to you.
DeleteWho detests a tribe so much and still marry someone from there?
You are just a tribal BIGOT, obviously trying to separate a peaceful family with your evil.
If we ever hear the other side of this story now people will know you're working for the devil but the man is obviously trying to recover from dinning with the devil and won't have time to reply you.
You sha don’t sound like someone anybody would want to cleave to. Now that you are going to be divorced, it is safe to say divorce now runs in your family too, I guess.
DeleteThank you. Read the post and shook my head. The man obviously married a werey. Am certain the issues arising are from both sides..and I daresay, she probably has a larger chunk of the blame
DeleteI’m a last born but no body dictates for me. You’re husband is just a simp and it has nothing to do with him being the last child. Sorry for what you’re going through and I pray God will guide you through this mess.
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
What's the meaning of simp?
DeleteLicious babe
My husband is a last born too and nobody dictates for him. I respect that guy.
DeleteEven my parent respect and fear him.
Fan Emmanuel, ezigbo nwa ada dajuo. Hear her husband and his family's side of the story before you conclude.
DeleteThis poster sounds like onye okwu n'uka.
Fan is right on this. I am a last born but I run my life to the fullest extent. I really do not want to blame you as it won’t do anybody any good. I pray you find everything you’re looking for. The Lord is your strength. We learn from our mistakes and come out better.
DeleteGood luck!!
Karen
Forget her last-born story, all the last-born I know are strong-headed, more like they have learnt from their elder ones' mistakes. They take their partners seriously.
DeleteStubborness has a price and desperation always leads to hell.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, maybe your story will help someone acting on desperation, who is seeking love in desolate places
Calm down madam! You sound bitter and angry
ReplyDeleteTelling people to calm down when they are taking accountability is actually wrong and further going ahead to call her bitter like she has no reason to be.
DeleteWhy won't she tell her to calm down. Can't you see she is bitter ?
DeleteA family that hates you, a tribe you detest so much, yet you went ahead to marry him.
ReplyDeleteWith that way you are even insulting him here knowing he’ll read your chronicle says a whole lot about you.
You will be fine.
Sluttychic.
Honestly, she sounds like a troublesome person.
Delete"and can't leave parents and siblings and cleave unto his wife"
akuko ndi ngbu.
Yes, she does. Chronicle poster’s husband, please let’s read your own side of the story.
DeleteSluttychic.
I'm sorry this chronicle got me laughing so hard.
ReplyDeleteMadam, from your statement I saw desperation in you that made you married him.
I don't get the part you said you're waiting to get your money and all that before leaving m
Were you the one that sponsored the marriage or you lend money to him?
Again, I noticed you sound so bittered and tribalist.
Which one is from a tribe you detest so much. Maybe that could be one among the reasons it didn't work out. Already, the mindset could have also contributed to it.
I wish you well in your journey.
Me I’m a last born and not going to settle until I find a man that will pamper me!!
ReplyDeleteI don’t like the endless complaints on last born, I feel attacked o
Last born are meant to be pampered , it's their heritage🤣😄🤣
DeleteMyself l don't like this attacked on last born😫
Licious babe
You sound pained. Sorry for all you have gone through. Thank God you said you have strength to move on.
ReplyDeletePoster sorry about what you have gone through May you find Love and peace again
DeletePoster sorry about that but do what will give you peace,like Stella said you are the one wearing the shoe
ReplyDeleteSo you detest your husband's tribe so much? Wow. This speaks volumes about the kind of person you are.
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't a man from your tribe marry you?
Please leave quickly. May real love find your ex-husband.
Exactly.
DeleteThat line pissed me off when I read it. I keep saying to people, the fact we cut people off from our life doesn't guarantee our life will eventually turn better.
What if we are the bad ones in the relationship and not necessary the people we cut off?
You detest a tribe, yet you went ahead to marry cos of desperation. If you don't have conscience, don't you have shame saying that publicly?
Person like me will run very far from you as far as my legs can carry me. I have this feelings, you can never be pleased.
Teejay, let us not be so quick to judge, remember this is social media and so many things may not be said in details
DeleteI married a last born, Stella have posted my story before and yes they where no boundaries and it affected my marriage and relationship with my in-laws,
We seams to be in a better place now, but if I tell you what I saw in this my 2years of marriage in the hands of my husband and in-laws.
Only God Knows.
Husbands please please learn to set boundaries in your marriage e get why.
Who no see something in the first two years? This poster is evil simple.
DeleteAnd me last.born, husband no send me let alone to pamper me.
DeleteMarriage is not boy/girl friend talk o.
A tribe you detest so much !
ReplyDeleteNa wa.
Who do you think you are?As you detest them,they detest you too so pack your load and go.
If na white person talk this kain thing against a black person ,we no go hear word o.
Hahahaha ur last line.
DeleteLicious babe
Lolll what desperation can cause does not exist.
ReplyDeleteYou saw 3 clear red flags, still chook head.
Better luck next time.
Hope belle number x will it happen while you are separated and living together?
Because I don't understand that kind of separation where you are still living4under the same roof.
Don't you even have money for a single room in the suburbs?
If you intend to marry again, I suggest you also take time to reflect on how you can better improve yourself, unlearn, relearn some things for your next relationship.
No ones perfect.
Cheers.
Poster broke. She come get bad mouth and tribal bigotry on top.
DeletePoster, before your next relationship, spend time to have some bad mouth and bigotry supportmoney.
Even the Bible says money answers most questions.
No bi last born matter spoil your marriage. You both were not ready or compatible.
Best wishes
Ehya poster sorry o.
ReplyDeleteDo better next time.
Dear Poster, please do not make any permanent decision based on how you are feeling at the moment. You might end up regretting again. Stay calm, think things through and decide when you're no longer angry. Every tribe has its own problem, including yours, so I doubt if that's the issue here. This no longer a relationship but marriage, so take all the time you need before you finalize putting an end to it. Find out if your husband is willing to put in some effort and if he is, then give him time. Now, I know you're wearing the shoe, and know where it pains you, that said, if the whole thing is giving you a mental break down, as an adult, you know what to do. Love you dearie
ReplyDeleteI sense a great deal of immaturity in OP. You say your inlaws don't respect boundaries. Fair enough point. I believe this is something that can be worked around. When we say marraige involves work, you thought we didn't know what we are saying? I don't see any concrete reason from your past why you are ending your marriage. However, you have the sole right to your decision.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is not for every one.
Madam poster, I go need to hear your husband part of the story.
ReplyDeleteFrom this your write up you sound like a red flag. Bitter woman. You are calling someone you married foolish? I'm sure you created big part of the issue you guys had.
ReplyDeleteMarriage requires tolerance, some of you lack it, you must have a lot of patience to survive the institution called marriage. Marriage is an headquarter of offence where the only choice you have most times is to forgive. Hmm..
ReplyDeleteI'm quite tired to write, I would have helped you with some marital advice that all of us can learn from. Take it from someone who married a different tribe from hers too, but it seems like your mind is made up, so goodluck on starting over again.
This one Na animal in human form. See the hate and anger from your chronicle just because you were the one ran to blogs to report first. I’m sure the man isn’t also regretting meeting you. Rubbish.
ReplyDeleteNot all last born are like this oo, this one na mumu, a fool at forty.
ReplyDeleteMadam poster, what is the problem? If you highlight what the issues are, you may likely get some wise counsel. You only ranted! One year and you are separated already but living together. I believe you are not so young, don't make a life changing decision out of anger, excitement or desperation. Marriage is not a place to jump in and jump out except your life is at risk.
ReplyDeleteThe issue is she saw red flags, reported it and received wise counsel, but forced on the mission that she must be Mrs. Somebody come hell or high water. Now that she has achieved her aim, she realized that it was all an illusion and instead of smelling roses, her life is full of thorns and she cannot deal with it anymore, she is on her last breath in the marriage and just wants out. Since they met on SnM, this chronicle is also an attempt to air out what she truly feels, maybe cannot say them at home. So, the chronicle is the last fck you to the husband and the family, with middle finger up, while she rolls off on blazing heels into the wind and a new future.
DeleteGet some counseling
ReplyDeleteHe doesn’t cleave to me seems like a communication problem
Some of you want too much from a human being
He just married you and has known them forever
To get true advice you need to say what it is you’re asking from him that he’s not doing.
Try and be reasonable about it
Don’t let emotions cloud your thinking
See how stray bullet have hit we last Born's😅😅
ReplyDeleteAra agbala stray bullet...
DeleteBREATHE!
ReplyDeleteJUST BREATHE!!
NOW, see how you can bend the rules a little bit.
Who made those boundaries???
Try to be open minded and flexible.
LIFE'S BETTER THAT WAY MOST OF THE TIME...
* A wise woman builds her home,
while the folish one tears it apart.
Forget about the tribe and take into consideration what you admired in him from the beginning then.
Sugarr
ReplyDeleteOn a serious note please take things easy.
I think some of the stuff you have written here is written out of pure rage
If you are bent on leaving concentrate your energies on the way forward
If you still want to stay you can devise a means of managing the entire family and managing yourself these things are possible!
If your inlaws are nosy .do they live with you guys permanently?
Is there a way of curtailing the flow of information from your end if your husband cant keep mute?
Can you ignore calls? Or pick calls and keep screaming hello till they get the message?
Can you stop giving out too much information to the man you live with and only share on -a-need-to-know basis?
I can live and work with the devil himself....and that's because I have learnt in marriage that sometimes love is not enough.
Everyone can be managed and everyone's wings can be clipped respectfully and effectively. Marriage has toughened me as a woman every woman is not so lucky.
I have a will of PURE STEEL, the heart of an angel and roving eyes that can detect bullshit from a mile off!
If its not too late i would advice you stay and learn to be on top of your game with everyone.
Sometimes Love is not enough grow a will of steel
This wishing you well darling please be happy ok?
Oh come now, darling! I know you're pissed and obviously venting. Unless there's something fundamentally wrong with your psyche or you have mental health issues, you wouldn't marry from an ethnic group you detest. Perhaps you have certain biases about them or harbour reservations of some sort. I want to believe your words are embroidered with resentment hence the hyperbolic "punctuations".
ReplyDeleteDid you just refer to your husband, he still is, as foolish? Oh wow! Sweetie, what does that make you? Not particularly wise, I would imagine. That's the problem with mugslinging, you end up with mud on your hands. I hope you know you're not exactly smelling roses here? You have some blame in the whole equation. His family may only be reacting to the vibes you're giving off. I doubt a family who hates you will allow you marry the baby of the house. Who knows? Your hubby may even be projecting the energy you give off.
I don't know you but your writeup paints a not so nice picture of your attitude, it's not a flattering image at all. Your hubby may be as horrible as you've described him but you have serious issues you have to deal with as well. Some newlyweds have "buyer's remorse" days, even months after they're married but some manage to weather the storm and work things out. You claim desperation made you marry the wrong guy? Are you sure that same impulse isn't still what's responsible for you wanting to get out as fast as you got in? It's been barely a year, darling, isn't it too soon to conclude that it wouldn't work? It's not like your life or sanity is in danger. Even the law doesn't allow divorce until you've been married for at least 2 years, unless in exceptional circumstances.
Honey, I know you can't be rational now because of your current mood, but my advice is that you remain separated under the same roof, try to calm down and see if you can try to build a friendship with him, that's if you can get past your biases. Sometimes, friendship and love comes after the marriage. That's wierd but it happens, especially when you rush in, you miss the natural progression of the relationship. See if anything is worth salvaging, if not, go ahead with your plans to divorce. Marriage is a spiritual covenant as well, best be sure you've really made a mistake and make sure you are ending it with a calm mind and a clear head. I truly hope you find peace.
e-hugs and kisses.
Not good to enter marriage with stupid mentality, it doesn't work that way.
DeleteA tribe you detest so much is all I really saw. Only God knows what that man and his family suffered in your tribalistic hands in the name of marriage.
ReplyDeleteMadam breath in & out you're writing out of anger & bitterness. Take Ranaldo & Anon 17.54 advice
ReplyDeleteI am the poster
ReplyDeleteDear bvs , thanks to those that judged me and thanks to those that saw my pain. I am not perfect either, I have my numerous short coming but I put my husband first and never brought divorce to for table, but my husband always brings divorce to the table etc.
Yes I was desperate to get married cos I had a lonely upbringing, and always desired to have my own home.
It's well
The tribe you detect so much and you're still sharing the same roof with them,God forbid you cos you sounds so bitter and wicked.
ReplyDeleteGuessmeey
She is distressed. Take it easy with her
Delete