Hmmm..
REGRETS
How much more can I be? Honestly I'm livid at my stupidity. I dated this my ex for two years and broke up with him in our third year for two reasons -s#x and he was always broke.
I did most of the spending. Even when I gift money, two or three days later if I asked him to do something for me he will claim he has no money. What did you use the money I sent you just few days ago to do, he would tell me he used it to subscribe to data bundle to learn IT online. Okay for how long before this your data investment start paying itself?
He cannot say. That repeated scenario didn't go down well with me, upon that he will still want us to nack. I had to let go by the third year. And moved on with my life to more positive things, while dodging a bullet. So I thought.
Now, two years later only to get to hear from a not a former neighbourhood friend at a seminar yesterday, in our catching up talk that she heard this said ex is doing so well and is about relocating because he got a better IT job abroad. What does you definition of doing so well mean? She said as well as I can think of. Okay.
Last night spoke to some a friend to a friend who said he doesn't know, but can get me the info if I cared to know. I obliged him,t the next day she called to confirmed the gist and further hinted he's getting married the next day. It was shifted from one weekend to the other. I can’t tell where the anger came from but I know I asked her to send me his number to congratulate him.
Now, two years later only to get to hear from a not a former neighbourhood friend at a seminar yesterday, in our catching up talk that she heard this said ex is doing so well and is about relocating because he got a better IT job abroad. What does you definition of doing so well mean? She said as well as I can think of. Okay.
Last night spoke to some a friend to a friend who said he doesn't know, but can get me the info if I cared to know. I obliged him,t the next day she called to confirmed the gist and further hinted he's getting married the next day. It was shifted from one weekend to the other. I can’t tell where the anger came from but I know I asked her to send me his number to congratulate him.
Only for me to curse him out. He listened throughout and only asked me to send my account number. And hung up. Now that I am a bit calm, I realized I shouldn't have cursed him. That is our dream wedding. I'm not feeling normal today, haven't gotten any work done since morning. I'm mad at myself. I'm broken inside and grief-stricken as it is.....
*Well he didn't do anything to you, you were the one that didnt have Patience and broke up with him.... Please take off that curse cause it will not affect him
Next time learn to have Patience....
I like how he let you talk and asked you to send your account details, you just spoilt all the good that you did for him...
Learn to be Patience you hear?
Send him your account number. When you receive the money, move on with your life and be happy. Don't ever regret any decision you take.
ReplyDeleteExactly. 💯
DeleteDo not send him your acc details.
DeleteSluttychic.
What in the “acrimony” is going on here.
DeleteMen like this never even make you feel good when you are both together, it’s all about them and the goal they are trying to achieve, that’s why you felt drained from the relationship.
Don’t doubt yourself or your decision because he may not have still married you. Just count your losses.
You can apologize later and say you were just overwhelmed, simple.
Just keep it classy, it is what it is.
Push up (original)
Nne you dodged a bullet. Thank lease send the number and collect the money. Don’t ever dwell on it else you will get more bitter. Open up for a new beginning and do not say a weird of this to your next man. You were very patient, honestly. 2 good years of no financial support but draining and he didn’t bother to carry you along. He definitely was doing something else with the money not what he said. He already had the other lady on the side. You were his ticket till something better comes. Biko no dwell on it much. You dodged bulletssssss
DeleteYou had good reasons to break up with him. Why curse him out? Did you expect him to come and look for you when the IT clicked? What if you stayed with him and he keeps collecting money for data and still never does anything for you, no matter how little? Please send your account number, collect your money and keep moving.
DeleteGirl dont worry. The same thing happened to me. Dated a guy. Sponsored him for one year plus. He always claimed not to have money. Found out later he lied to me about everything even his salary. It was sooo painful but im grateful now that i left him. I found someone better and im moving on. This guy had no intention to marry you he was just using you the same way my guy was using me. You were his side chic. He was always with that other woman. Stella is wrong, this wasnt about patience. Dont send your account number. Just try and move on and dont look for his gist or anything like that. You will heal.
DeleteCursing was unnecessary. Pray for forgiveness, also send him an apology. Delete his number and move on.
DeleteSORRY.
ReplyDeleteSluttychic.
Lol I really had something sharp to say at first but towards the end, I'm just like "sorry. Move on"
DeleteSo you expect him not to make it in life? God is not from your village.
DeleteNot all relationships will lead to marriage you better don’t beat yourself.
This life we are met to help each other.
I know you expect him to look for you after making it. (Maybe because you are still single)
Don’t worry God will bless you with your own man. Be happy and don’t curse him again.
As in eeh,, let her move on period!
DeletePatience is really a virtue
THIS ONE NA REAL ACRIMONY
DeleteStarr abeg which yeye patience are you talking about???? She gave a guy money for 2 good years without getting anything in return not even a pant. She was only available but not the desirable, the guy won't have married her after making his money. I think the poster she be happy that she dumped him and not the other way round. Keep investing in yourself, God will give you a success story that will shut the mouths of the enemies or those that mocked you. For your money, I think you should forget it.
DeleteAcrimonious shit! Anon 00:25 you are right. She was only available and not admirable, nor desirable. Poster nothing for it but to move on. What is your own is your own. Abi you want make he knack you and still dump you? No need for the curses.
DeleteRelationship isn't all about the money and gifts. Even though it spices it, it shouldn't be a defining factor to ones commitment and personality.
ReplyDeleteYou lost a great man.
One thing with most women is that, they often don't look beyond the now. They always want it now and their ways.
A man with goals and prospects is just like a diamond being refined.
Patience indeed is a virtue.
Abegii which great man. A man that didn’t put in same energy and was just taking her money all the time?? And probably has a side babe. No he wasn’t a great man to her. It was a one sided relationship and it drained the crap out of her. On her part, she for don reduce am small and not put so much effort in the relationship. Now she’s the one feeling overly hurt as usual. We women need to do better and not focus too much on our emotional/nurturing side. E get why. We need to use it when necessary and not on every damn person who doesn’t deserve us!
DeleteAnon, you got all dat from this same post? Nawa o.
DeleteI would have agreed with TJ, but I have seen that most men when they get money change and go for the women who they can spend on and who on a norm cannot endure with a man because they are all for the baby girl life.
DeleteOne thing I can say for men who are naturally generous is that they are generous whether they are rich or poor, whether they have or don't have because it is in them. Even when they don't have, they give out of the little they have. My sisters a man who is always big on excuses is on a long thing. Same man is spending on another person somewhere steady but doesn't think you are worth it. So kuku carry ya legs and move kiakia.
My darling he wasn't meant for you don't beat yourself too much over it. You can get a much better guy and even a richer one in future.
ReplyDeleteLet the past go please. For your own good, let it go.
Have you ever thought of the fact that he could have been two timing you?
If he was really really into you then, from what you were giving him he could have reciprocated in material things to you as well. No matter how small
He was never meant for you.
just move on.
it's not the end of life.
Meanwhile, you can send a message to apologize for the insults and tell him you wish him all the best
Exactly
DeleteThe fact that he became rich later doesn’t mean he is a good guy, or your life partner.
As hard as it may seem, move on.
If you even want to send your account number, send it and keep moving, but please apologize for being rude.
Push up (original)
Poster he was not into you and was not meant to be..Fine you shouldn't have curse him but do you realize you dodged a bullet...Lol the guy was just a user and saw you as a means to an end....Just see as an acquittance you had to help along the way..Obviously you are hurting but it is time to heal and forge ahead...There are better men out there trust me just be very very patient...Be happy, hang out with friends, don't engage in self-destruction mode cos you will regret you took that route...All the best...
DeleteThe young man never offended you,those curses wouldn't work for him but go back to it's sender..you had better pray to God to destroy the curse.
ReplyDeleteI actually like how life changed for your ex. Success is the best revenge.
If this guy was still in poverty,you would have thought you made the best decision for yourself,I will advice you move on....God will provide your own spec....ire ooooo
Yimu! He used her to achieve a means. You people should say the truth for once in your life. Do you know how much she was earning to be struggling to cater for both of them? Guy was two timing and he had his mi d on the other lady. Make una Dey talk true ooooooo.
DeletePlease, just keep blaming yourself. Yes, blame only but yourself because you did everything by yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou control the relationship because you felt you were in charge. You ended it just because you can and you were in charge. Now you're regretting and want to blame the guy? Please keep blaming yourself, and when you're done, just move on.
Cry if you must. It is what it is!😎
Life's journey is ultimately guided by God, and at every stage, it is important to seek His guidance to ensure that our thoughts and decisions align with His will. If one has made a mistake, it is important to forgive oneself and move forward with the lessons learned and experiences gained. Dwelling on pain does not bring anything back, but rather, it only serves to bring one down. Remember, "oti sope otilo" - what's done is done, so it's important to focus on the present and future, rather than the past.
ReplyDelete@ 15:18 great advise.
DeletePoster I know you are both confused and angry. There is nothing wrong with that.
Ask the HolySpirit to comfort you and console you.
Yes, you should never act on impulse. From your write up it seems you act so emotionally. This is wrong because it always leads to over reaction and mistakes.
Forgive yourself and ask the HolySpirit to help you move on.
Let him be. Don’t apologize or say anything to him for now, since you are still emotional about the whole thing.
Take time to heal, learn and grow.
This story reminds me of the movie "ACRIMONY".. i remember taking sides with taraji. You were hoping the guy will come back to you, now that he has made money. But you see, men dont reason the way we do. I empathise with you dear, just dust urself up and move on.
ReplyDeleteSo the sex is not bad now because there’s money
ReplyDeletePlease, just because he is doing better doesn't mean he would have made you a good husband. For the two yesrs you were together, did he share his longterm dreams with you? Did he speak of a future with you in it? You hear he is doing better now and think you would have been the queen of his heart, but he did not indicate any of that when you were together. He kept you on the outside of his life and you realized it and you left. He never belonged to you, he belonged to himsel and you were just someone circulating on the periphery. When what is yours shows up, you will know, it will feel easy and right.
ReplyDeleteLet him take his journey in peace. If your purpose in his life was to help fund his future that's all there is. If he is willing to pay you back then collect it and do something useful with the money. Let the past remain buried, and simply treat him as someone you used to know, after all, that is all he is.
I like this too!
DeleteUpvote! Even if things turned out better that guy would have married someone else....Just shine your eye Poster and pray for better days ahead! Don't give him your account details, forgive him and block all contacts with him...Ehugs
Delete💯, poster apologise for cussing out and move on.
DeleteGod who sees people's hearts know if you helped with the best of intents backed then and will reward you accordingly.
Your reward doesn't have to be getting married to him.
Give him your account number! Una de dey craze??? After all that money spent on him?? It will help her heal faster and move on. Poster send your account #! Not all men will do this. That means his guilty conscience still works and he feels bad because he know say you really helped him out. So the anger you’re feeling is normal human reaction and emotions my dear. Collect that money move on so your healing can start as soon as possible.
DeleteReminds of me that movie with one black American actress that married a black guy that couldn’t make it for yrs like over 20 yrs she divorced him to blow and gave her dream life to someone else omo the babe change am oo she crase
ReplyDeleteAcrimony.
DeleteTaraji P. Henson
Sis, please change your mindset. You did so well to support him and was a catalyst to him becoming a better man for himself, family, new wife and society at large. Do not let envy, anger and bitterness make you think otherwise.
ReplyDeleteYour own man will definitely come. Please relax and Do not blame yourself for anything, pray for him and his new wife, ask God Almighty to show you mercy and send your own man to you.
You will be fine and meet the best man for you, who will supersede all you dream and want.
E-hugs!!!
BEST comment so far! Thanks for not bashing the poster.
DeleteThanks...Couldn't have said it any better
DeletePoster you should have done some ground work on your ex before ending the relationship, you should have confirmed if he was truly running some IT programs online as he claimed to be sure he is spending all the money well before you dumped him.
ReplyDeleteWell, the guy felt disappointed in you cos he was struggling then and you kept on feeling like a mini-god. Now that he has made it oga decided to walk away from you. Just send him the account number, collect you money and move on. Apologize to him for cursing him out, you did that out of anger and move on with your life. Shit happens.
Make she sha collect the money before moving on😒
DeleteWhere would she have done the ground work from, shouldn’t she have been hearing from the horses mouth? He knew what he was doing that’s why he refused to tell her about it.
DeleteHe was probably sharing the money he had with another girl. What is pata that he couldn’t even buy for her? 2whole years
There’s something wrong with you.
ReplyDeleteDunno why this cracked me up 🤣🤣🤣
DeletePls don't beat yourself too hard. You may have really dodged a bullet. What if he never intended to marry you when he makes it? Some men dump the lady that was there for them in trying times when they blow. He may have been secretly dating this his bride while with you and may have been giving your money to her.
ReplyDeleteWhat even makes you think he will make a good husband? You know some men's true character when they have money.
Move on from him and improve your own life too.
Abroad is not heaven.
💯 👌
DeleteCouldn't have said it any better
DeleteI don't understand you. What did the ex do that you had to be curing him out for? You were the one who dumped him due to your impatience. Anyways,that your curse will not do nada cos the guy is innocent. Pls,move on and make better decisions in future.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of that Tyler Perry's movie titled Animosity.
ReplyDeleteYou mean Acrimony...
DeleteAnimosity bawo 🙄..
DeleteLmaoooo
DeleteAnimosity got me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteAll I can tell you is "sorry".
ReplyDeleteGurrl, please do not beat yourself up over nothing. These same people cussing you out will never put up with that attitude for a day, talk more of three years. Just move on with your life my dear. I would suggest you text him and apologize for your outburst. I wish you all the best in life.
ReplyDeleteThey guy didn't offend you, or do anything. You had an issue with him coz he was broke, as per the IT he was learning isn't paying off as fast as you want. Well, it paid off, but you were long gone. Accept your L. Your curse cannot stand, because he's causeless. Instead it will envelope you as you are the cause.
ReplyDeleteI love you BlackBerry.
DeleteYou always say things the way they are without sugarcoating words. I believe if the reverse is the case, all these people saying ''she dodge a bullet'' will all paint how the man lose his God giving wife.
Whether she dodge a bullet or not, we shouldn't rule out the fact that she messed everything up herself and still went an extreme, cursing him out.
Who does that?
I hope you've learned a lesson from this.
Some people in this life will always learn the hard way. There are some opportunity in life one should pray never to miss.
The man asking for your account number shows how simple, mature and responsible he is. Some men won't even talk to you once they know it's you. He even cool down to listen to you shows how listening he is and still respect you.
Don’t think he was really into you in the first place. I suspect that if you had stayed and invested further in him, you would still have been disappointed. No matter how little a person has, he or she would be willing to share with the person he or she loves. It sounds like it was a one sided relationship where you gave and all he did was take. Such relationships never end well. You did well by moving on. You would never have enjoyed that “wealth”. Cut your losses and move on.
ReplyDeleteWell said!
DeleteCouldn't have said it any better
DeleteThank you
DeleteLmao… you women on this blog are so predictable. All these comments to console her or what?? I don’t even want to imagine the type of comments that would have filled this comment section if the reverse were to be the case.
DeleteJust see all the ‘ you dodged a bullet’ comments. How convenient! 😂
Aunty shey you have seen how the women on here are, as usual they have done their bit by trying to make the guy (whose part of the story we didn’t get the chance to hear) look bad so as to console you but guess who is feeling the pain. Lol
They move on with their respective lives as fast as they close this post but guess who's gon be beating her self up in regret for the next few nights? Hehehe
Well, you lose some you win some. Apparently, you’ve lost this one.
There’s a reason why you feel very bitter and no, it’s not just about the little money you spent on him back then. If it is then you’d be happy to get a refund even with interest.
You ladies should know not every young broke guy will die broke. After all most of the ready made men some of y’all spread ya legs for were once broke too.
Anon 19:24
DeleteWhy will she beat herself up?
She will still marry.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
This reminds me of Acrimony Film.
ReplyDeleteBabe it's well. Please be strong and move on. Don't curse him.
I pray for you that you move on.
Lesson learnt.... never give any man money. For me, even if he cry blood... my response is always... am sorry I don't have any funds to give you.
Should a man give a woman?
DeleteEeyah,I can understand how you feel,but there was no need to curse him out,since he didn't do anything to you.Please send him a message and apologise,there's no need to burn bridges.You guys were not meant to be, you said he couldn't do little things for you,that is not how a guy that loves a woman behaves.God will give you someone that loves you okay? Have faith!
ReplyDeleteChai!
ReplyDeleteWhite money post comes to mind..
Money go stop nonsense..
See as she rubbish the guy say him broke but him still won nack.. that is, he wasn't supposed to have an erection because him no dey financially buoyant..
This is the definition of most of the "I suffered for him when he had nothing and he dumped me when he made money".. how were you treating him when he was in his broke phase.. some can be so heartless ehn, they'll even go on dates with other guys and won't hide it from you.. and as broke boy wey no know himself, that one sec no go fit talk anything as him no fit buy the food wey the other guy carry am go chop.. him go just dey suffer in silence..
God Abeg oh
Leaving the guy was her choice and I won't blame her for that. But cursing him is very low from her.
DeleteBoss, if this poster of a lady will be truthful to us, you will see that some details may have been skipped. It might even be her that brought up the idea of the guy refunding her back what she spent on him. My instinct is saying so to me. The guy may not have requested for her account details if such talks about it didn't come up. Remember, she said the guy was listening to all what she was saying.
Women will despise broke men and when a rich guy met a broke lady, the narration will become, ''if you really love her, please stick to her and wife her.'' But a wealthy lady won't be encouraged to stick to a broke man with a vision.
DeleteFor MOST LADIES SEX IS A BIG DEAL!!!
See ehn a man sleeping with a woman then leaving her, hurts deeply, it is the equivalent to man paying a lady's tuition fees, her siblings tuition fees, supporting her parents financially, ati gbogbo inc monies spent on JAPA & residency permits, then the lady breaks up with the man! That heartache, pain & trauma is exactly the same with man having s@x with woman&ghosting her.
So it's good that you did celibacy and broke the ship when he became a sex pest.
I know it hurts. It hurts so much but truth be told, there is no social welfare in Nigeria society, so the chances of one person using the other to metaphorically climb up the success ladder is 100%.
Parents o, family o, spouses o, erotic relationships o even platonic friendship (see how AY stabbed basketmouth, sharing confidential details just to move ahead in his career), So personA most likely used personH to get to their current station in life.
Take it that you have sown a seed and you will be rewarded for it.
As for collecting your money back, what if he sends something like 10k? Wouldn't it be disrespectful? Bear in mind that he could announce to your mutual friends & family that he repaid your money in full meanwhile he will be careful not to state exact figures that its just 10k he paid.
Think about it deeply.
Take it or leave it, but Your NEXT will be everything you want and need. I have seen this happen so many times in private life. Popular figures like Sumbo something (tuface baby mama) and even Meghan& Harry aren't fictional stories na.
Clean&Air out any toxic vibes and bitter aura. Keep being your positive loving, cheerful and caring self. Invest in yourself. Help people without strings and seehow everything will align for you
When it happens, come back here and update us o
Erection ko, election Ni.
DeleteCan he handle the things that come with erection?
Erection wey no fit buy common condom?
Erection wey no fit afford Ab@rti&n not to talk of delivery bills or CS bills then cerelac, pampers, clothes and all?
Chief, there is a reason why soapy or vaseline dey trend.
In this situation the erections should be kept in check.
I am heading to 60 with kids that are partaking in NYSC or still in University, my erection gave my 50 something Yr old wife belle and made me have another baby.
I am finding it tough to go through the whole early baby hood and weaning, infact all the process again, even as I am, Insha Allah a General Manager!
An unemployed, job free dependant having an Erection & fussing to make copulation with any female, iis just digging an early grave.
Cold shower can help the delicate situation.
Cold shower has always been the solution to hard election.
DeleteOga Pele...be grateful. That pikin go look after una.
Dear poster, it is okay to feel bad, regrets and all, but calling and cursing him out was too extreme. He did not jilt you, it was you who broke his heart and moved on. Let me ask you, What if you were already married? What if he is still very broke the way you left him, would you have gone ahead to call and curse him out? It is time to count your losses and move on. See it like you never heard anything. I wonder what he was thinking listening to you; he is a gentleman with a good heart to have patiently listened to your rants and curses and still ask for your account number. Some others would have blocked you immediately.
ReplyDeleteFinally, If you chose to send your details, fine but if not please I advice you move on and stay away from his family or friends. No stalking too.
Take the consolation money, it is what it is. Sorry!
ReplyDeleteAcrimony loading...
ReplyDeleteNext time think we'll and think God loves the boy he has dodge a bullet you are a disaster to anybody that married you better work on yourself ,anger kills,he has done you nothing and I congratulate the man wife to be ,one person lost is her gain
ReplyDeleteIt is well, don't beat yourself up. Move on, forget him but don't forget to send your account details.
ReplyDeleteGoodness gracious!
ReplyDeleteYou weren't patient enough,ma'am.
The patient dog eats the fattest bone indeed but you weren't able to touch the bone let alone eat it.
Pele!
What was the curse for? You initiated the break up. He moved on, you moved on. He turned his life around and got a deserving woman. Why were you bitter? If you had gotten married before him, would you have been bitter? You thought the sun rises and sets in your butt? You looked down on him when he was temporarily dependent on you. Is this how you would have treated your husband when you have more than he does?
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, that young man dodged a bullet. He should be eternally thankful to God.
DeleteGracious me!!!
I found it.
God bless you. I was actually looking for a comment like this.
See how they stylishly turned it to ''she dodge a bullet.'' A woman who exhibit this kind of character may abandon her husband in marriage when things goes wrong and follow a man providing for her.
Truth be told in answer to your last question: That is how many poorer husbands are treated. Only mothers and sisters of the men get to know because they look out for it and draw it out of
Deletetheir sons/brothers.
Even some husbands who end up not having as much as expected of them, know what the see at home.
When someone needs you. They go all out to look for you. You where there in his dry season. You left because you were tired of carrying his load. He made money and never looked for you. This shows you were never his priority. Even if you had stayed, he might not have married you. Life happens. Put yourself together. Yours will come. Don't be too hard on yourself. Life is all about learning, unlearning and relearning.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to hear that you did not send your account number to him. Collect the money and face front.
Unfortunately, it went the way it went. Enough of self blame. Send him your details and move on. Better days ahead.
ReplyDeleteCheers.
my opinion is that the lady wasnt wrong, they weren't just meant to be, the guy could have come back when he became successful and make her rejoice with him on his success, they mend fences and continue, being that she was there for him and she got tired along the line, which is normal for women. a woman is not wired to be a provider. send a message apologizing to him for the curses and wish him luck in his marriage. he will be guilt trapped. that's why the bible says when we repay good with evil, we heap coals on the person.
ReplyDeleteCorrect!!!
DeleteThe way we think that life starts and ends with women and how they feel is soo amazing. So after she broke up with him, and moved on, he should have still come back to look for her when he made it?? Wow!! Because she is who? The air he breathes? Pls, it is what it is, let her move on. Let’s use the reasonable man’s test on u and the poster, would you have given this advice if the guy was still down trodden? Or would she have sent in the chronicle if he had remained at the exact point she left him in life?
DeleteTo take her from her then current boyfriend?
DeleteYes. Apologize for the curses
DeleteSo he was nacking you, chopping your money while diligently arranging his life and positioning himself for greater things knowing that he has no intentioning of including you in his future?
ReplyDeleteYou were doing supportive partner? buahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
By the time you ladies learn to THINK like a man in the aspect of ALWAYS putting yourselves first, you'll be the better for it.
Move on.
Get lost!
ReplyDeleteYou are angry that what happened? Didn't u dump him when he was broke?
It's your entitlement for me!
Will you just gerrout
Wow!!!
DeleteYou're intelligent. She served him breakfast, thinking he won't amount to anything good in life. Now her likes are trying to paint the guy bad.
This is the reason I always advise intelligent people to stay away from people who act like a victim in a problem they created.
Like I'm just tired!! See the yeye comments sef trying to absolve her of any blame
DeleteAbeg calm down. You're not fighting with anyone na
DeleteYou invested so much on him, but could not wait to reap the harvest. It obvious he used the data to learn IT online eyaaa...and you were doubting him oooo...Learn to be celibate in relationship, it won't have been this painful if you hadn't had sex with him.
ReplyDeleteWhat fuckery self. So 2 years is not enough dating to know the hell next step they’ll take?? Some of una self.
DeleteSee the way you are shouting
ReplyDeleteI don’t think he would have even married you if you were still with him. A lot of men have so much ego and wouldn’t want to end up with a woman that would constantly remind them of how they fed them when they had nothing reason why he would rather go for a fresh babe that would always see him as a catch (big fish).
ReplyDeleteDust yourself and move on like you already did.
Wow! So this is why they dump the ladies who made them? In order to boost their ego in the marriage, they marry a fresh lady who would see them as a "made guy"
DeleteExactly thank you so much
DeleteRelationship matter dey complex, only God understands it.
ReplyDeleteI still wonder what my ex thinks any time she asks for money, and I give her.
I thought I had a relationship till I visited her one day, and she told me she had a guy in America,
that I should consider her happiness. I moved on with my life!
Today I am settled in Canada, she is still waiting for the American guy... it has been more than ten years.
If abroad was her problem, she used her hand to throw away her ticket to Canada.
Chaii 🙆🙆🙆🙆. God have mercy.
DeleteHmmmmm! Life!
DeleteHmmmmm! Life!
DeleteI hope awon ''she dodged a bullet'' will still say the same here.
Delete@lexxon, that same babe would gather women with same reasoning as her, and tell them that u made it in life and shifted the goal post, n instead of being objective and see that she was the one that even ended things with you, in a bid to support rubbish, they wud tell her that she dodged a bullet, that u might end up not even marrying her.
DeleteThis is the only situation u see women supporting women, when it comes down to the real support and empowerment, they pull each other down.
What's there to go to Canada bikonu?
DeleteLmao
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Hmmm!
DeleteCanada is freezing cold anyway so maybe Canada isn’t the right fit for her. You didn’t tell us if she’s now married sha. Canada or not🙄. Una go dey waste somebody’s time and think we have all the time in the world. Abegiii.
DeleteShe is wise. Collecting money from so many ex like you. Not every woman or man wants to marry.
DeleteMy sister send him that account number, collect the money and move on, He's not for you, if he was yours, with all the help you rendered to him, no matter what happened, He wouldn't have given up on you, So forget the guy.
ReplyDeleteYou're crazy! He wouldn't have given up when she broke u with him ba? Is she the only woman on earth?
DeletePoster pls forgive yourself and move on.guess u have learnt from this so you will act more wisely in the next relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhat are these annoying comments? You dumped him and he moved on wtf did you expect? Mtchewwww
ReplyDeleteLol... Come on, You tryna tell me you don't know the kinda women we have on here? Let the reverse be the case or let the said guy be their brother, the comments go shock you. Lol
DeletePoster why are you killing yourself over spilt milk?
ReplyDeleteYou left cos he wasn't yet what you wanted him to be.
He didn't do you wrong.
Now he wants to give you money if he gives you money use that one to console yourself.
Thats like payoff for the times you helped him.
Move on and you will be fine.
Please before anything, send him your account number immediately. That’s the first step.
ReplyDeleteSecond step, start working on stepping up your money and career game. That’s the best revenge. Right now cry it out. Be mad at yourself, be mad at him but I can rest assure you, this man isn’t the one for you. Because if he is, he would have stepped up his game to make you comfortable and do the needful. He got comfortable and you enabled it I won’t lie to you. You can’t buy anybody’s love. You’ll lose your self respect. It shd be two way street and not one way street. You were doing too much and a man will always be a man(and woman self in friendship).
If you’re into IT yourself or healthcare, even better. If not, that’s also fine. You can still develop yourself (take certification courses) and also relocate, no be only him can relocate naw. You can go to Canada, UK, US, other European countries and even check out other African countries with good infrastructure like Rwanda. People don’t know much about this country but they’re developing so fast. A friend of mine moved there few years ago and she’s doing really well with her family. Traveling out is for anyone who wants to and willing to do it’s not a big deal at all. Start saving up as much as you can and invest in yourself instead of dashing out your hard earned money to a loser that doesn’t deserve you! I wish I can see you in person and to help you through chai. You will start feeling better kia kia. But no worries, For the mean time, cry it out, eat ice cream, go to the mall & walk around, listen to relaxing music/songs, surround yourself with friends and family for emotional support. (Don’t isolate yourself so you don’t feel worse but also take time to yourself and heal properly), exercise and sweat it out (you can go for a run at any stadium or join a gym), look good for yourself first, don’t even worry about a man right now. You will attract a better man I promise you because your confidence level go dey another level. Pray, ask for forgiveness of any sin you’ve committed and ask God to fill any void in your heart(it works a lot), read Bible/positive books that’ll feed your soul, sleep on time at night time and do deep breathing before bed time, look up positive affirmations on increasing self esteem on YouTube or online. This is your time to focus on you, heal and don’t feel angry at all that the relationship ended. The relationship was not serving it’s purpose. I’m glad you cursed him out actually. That’s a good way to get your closure and move on. It was not meant to be. Don’t worry you’ll find a better man soon. BUT you gotta work on you and give yourself time to be single and enjoy your own company first! It’s very very important. This is what I did and landed a good man. I got tired of getting my heartbroken and settling for less. The minute I started focusing myself, lost weight, everything shifted and got so much male attention. I ended up with a good man sha. Wishing you all the best dearie. 💕 PS: collect that money o. Send your acct to him. Just reminding you again☺️🙂
To the married couples, this also works in marriage if you feel like you’ve lost yourself in your marriage! (For both men and women).
This was the Crux of the debate here about Whitemoney's statement. He should have used "some" women.
ReplyDeleteBecause money is in the picture dear Poster now think the man fit for marriage?
You dey mind her? 🤦🏾♀️ imagine feeling mad because of money. What about his character and how he treated you during the two year relationship poster? You think say na only money? Hmm e go shock you. Better move on because he wasn’t your man in the first place. And thank God it was only for two years and you gave yourself brain to get out of the relationship. I’m glad you cursed him out sha. 😩
DeletePoster he even asked for your account and he's likely to send you money.
ReplyDeleteOne Guy I dated briefly was like that, very stingy, yes he was seeing himself tru masters program, he couldn't even give us a proper outing, he was working in a rich firm and earning good money.
Even transport fair he couldn't pay.
We dated for like 2momths, no knacking(I'm so grateful for this cos I would have really been sad by now😅), so I left immediately.
Only for him move onto a better job abroad, married to someone I know.
Guy man later came back asking me to become 2nd wife amd come live with him in abroad, offered to get me a visa nd all,(his wife and kid lives in naija,he visits every 6months)
I told him it can never be me.
He is always stalking me everywhere, social media, WhatsApp, I don block tire, he always gets a new WhatsApp number.
In all these he has neever credited my account with good money o.. he sends peanut and me I'm like is it this one that will trip me 😆
Poster you will be fine, just move on
He wouldn't have married you. Why didn't he look for you when he made money. Please move on, your man will locate you.
ReplyDeleteSend your account number.
ReplyDeleteSentiment asides, send it.
Collect the money, invest in yourself and business.
Once in a while, ask him for more money.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
I bet you, the guy will gladly do that. Some men don't forget who helped them during the bad days.
DeleteLol..
DeleteWe have a lot of cheap girls on this blog.. you girls are the ones that make us say money control you people..
All of you saying she should send her account to collect the money are cheap..
Money is the cheapest thing a man can give a woman but y'all don't know cos of poverty
Hi Dante, I totally agree with you. Send account details on what basis? It’s shameless if she does that.
DeleteI think she cursed him because she was angry at herself. She has no reason to be angry at him unless there's the story of the new bride having been in the picture even when she dated him. We see stories of girls who think their former looks drove away their boys and then they post their after pictures of themselves looking curvy ( I suppose this is termed sexier to some). Do we advice them to go back to their former boyfriends ?No! So, this guy his selling point has increased, might not go back especially if his mind was never there or no longer there.
DeleteIf it would make you feel better, take the money, but this feeling would be temporary. Better to let go so you can be proud of yourself in the long run. Even if he sends you 500k, you would spend and forget but then he has paid for your time.
Darling, please read this very slowly, perhaps revise this reply so it will sink in. NEVER regret any informed decision you made that seemed right according to your moral compass. If you felt no guilt at the time, chances are you did the right thing at that time. The only reason you're grief-stricken and slightly indisposed is because you heard he is now "successful" and getting married.
ReplyDeleteYou dated him for 3 years and he refused to or couldn't pick up the slack. His constant demands for sex was off-putting, understandably so. Darling, are you aware that you could have still been dating this guy who appeared to be redundant, only for him to break up with you and still marry someone else? Who hangs on to a rocking chair relationship for 3 years? Are you kidding me right now? You stayed too long, in my considered view. He sat pretty and wasn't embarrassed that his girl was footing his bills. He was okay being a "kept man". A real man will find that revolting and find ways to hustle.
I don't think he was meant for you. You are smarting from what you perceive as betrayal. That should be your man and that should be your wedding, no? Absolutely not, a man who gets "successful" only after you leave him, isn't yours. Your auras probably aren't aligned. Some incongruence is going on somewhere.
You went overboard with the verbal abuse, you lashed out because you hadn't processed your feelings and didn't have closure. I will appeal to you NOT to send your account details, that will be monetizing all you sacrificed while you were together. True you gave him money, but can money sufficiently replace all you deprived yourself of just to make the cash available? Clearly he feels he can pay you back all you spent on him. Please preserve what is left of your dignity after that inglorious phone call and leave him be. For all you know, even if he married you, both of you would have been wholly miserable!
I know it hurts, sweetie, of course it does! This hurt will pass. You seemed to have be okay with him out of your life all this time. After the shock wears off and you've passed through the stages of grief, you'll be fine. Some ladies passed through worse and came out better and stronger, it will be the same for you. Don't rush into any relationship to prove a point. It's okay not to be in a relationship for now. Please look and look again before you leap.
e-hugs and kisses.
Thank you Ronalda.
DeletePoster, please don't send your account details to that guy. Please!
Dignity dignity, was there dignity from him when he was collecting her money?? Poster collect ya money back! You’ve already lost your self respect in front of him anyway so you might as well lose it one last time knowing well that this is it, close this chapter, rebuild yourself and move the hell on. Ronalda, you think it’s easy spending all that money and emotions on a man that knew he wasn’t going to marry her??? Reason why he couldn’t say jack on the phone. It’s up to you sha poster. I’d collect the money for closure purposes and move on to the next best thing. Good luck.
DeletePoster, stop beating yourself up. In my opinion, that guy wouldn't have married you and never loved you. Please send your account number and collect your money. If he loved you, he would have come back when he made it considering all the sacrifices you made for him.
ReplyDeleteTrue. Okocha went back to woo his wife after he made it.
DeletePoster, i beg move on with your life, that guy is a user, if not you wouldn't be the only one giving in the relationship, most of Nigerian guys are users, next time don't give to any man thinking that it will end up in marriage.
ReplyDeleteYou want to kill yourself because of a guy that wasn't into you, the fact that he's rich now doesn't automatically make him a husband material.
What if you didn't break up with him and he still dump you, do you even know if you were the side chick and he was even using your money to take care of the wife he wants to marry now ?
The earlier you ladies start putting yourselves first as men do, the better for you.
I don't give more than i receive in relationships, so that if shit hits the fan, i move on easily.
“Most Nigerian guys are users”. Gbam. I completely agree with this statement 🙌🏾 only few have the fear of God in them.
DeleteHi poster, trust me I totally understand how you are feeling although my story ain't exactly like yours.
ReplyDeleteI was in your shoes from 2018-2022, the only difference in my story is that he is still jobless and i didn't spend on him or send him money, i paid for a few outings tho.
We started dating in 2018, he lied about school and his qualifications. Found out when we started dating but decided to give him benefit of the doubt.
I pushed him to do better with his life but he was immovable, last year I told myself enough is enough and bade him farewell.
We still talk, he has sent me money twice sef since the breakup but he has still refused to make a move to better himself or find something doing.
If he decides to make something out of his life tomorrow, starts doing well and gets someone to marry, i promise I'll be genuinely happy for him irrespective of the "wasted 4 years".
I believe in time and season, we were all destined to cross other people's path for a particular reason and purpose. Just believe your purpose in his life was to help him up the ladder, God will send your own to you soon.
P.s that my ex liked knack ehhhhhh, i had to ask him one day if he thinks of any other thing asides knack.
You shouldn't have cursed him but I don't think he is the right man for you,he made money and never looked for you despite the sacrifices you made,it shows he is ungrateful and not that into you.
ReplyDeleteIam sorry it hurts but don't send your account number,you don't need it,just try and work on yourself,even if you broke up with him,he should have looked for you after the break up,that means he is not that into you. I wish you the best.
The impatience that made you end the relationship at first is the same reason why you can't see the potentials beyond the here and now. My dear life is a marathon not a sprint, this man is about to relocate to a better place with access to job role that maybe available to you by virtue of relationship...all you are thinking about is marriage/wasted opportunity (you would not have been feeling cheated if you didn't hear about his marriage). You don't know what God planned for you especially when you were supporting initially. Please send your akant so he can cut you off his life permanently.
ReplyDeleteMy advice to bvs, support your man because you believe in him (not only because you hope he will marry you one day... unfulfilled expectations lead to heartbreak).
To my fellow ladies proudly writing that they can never give a man money (tight fist ba?), hhmm! Una journey still far o. Sebi you all know that there are men who have also vowed never to be faithful to women who are stingy....Awon social/economic climbers masquerading as lovely lady in waiting... keep dodging bullet
So a whole 2 damn years is not enough time?? A whole 2 years of free sex, spending on him and I’m sure she also cooks for him. Some of una dey craze for this blog! A 2 year old child is starting to walk by then. The guy never meant to marry her period. I’m glad she ended the relationship. She’s only angry because he has money and traveling out. Does that now make him a good guy with a good character?? I don’t get some of una reasoning.
DeleteWhy should he look for her after she broke up with him? Disgraced and humiliated him? I really don't get some of y'all
ReplyDeleteA female Bv advised up here to send account details and to bill the man once awhile.
ReplyDeleteWould she agree that her boyfriend or husband be billed once awhile by his ex after he has repaid all relationship financial debts?
Whenever we see life as a w#r between men and women, or an arena for one gender to out smart the other, our thinking pattern is always special to us only .
For the female Bvs chanting send account details. How many of you have ever settled financial accounts with your ex boyfriends at the end of a relationship and repaid any amount you owed on the settled account?
You guys elevate men for selfish reasons. When they claim the benefits of the elevation, you turn around to complain.
But he’s the one that said make she send her acct number shoo. Not every guy will do this. All this long talk is not necessary abeg. Send account number and call it a day please.
DeleteNot sure why sending account number is a huge deal to most commenters.
ReplyDeleteWhat will collecting money achieve? Revenge? When you take your own revenge, God will remove his hand and allow you handle it your way = money.
When you collect that money, you take away the guilt he feels after that phone call.
To really make him suffer, let him hold his money. My people will say “jide lu ya offor”. In the grand scheme, he owes you and will still own you. You have power over him.
Now that you have vented your anger, feel no guilt. You need to let him go. What could have been can no longer be. Your person is still out there.
On the other hand, he will still get over the guilt after couple of days or weeks. A lot of these naija men don’t have emotions! They’re too damn selfish. Not all sha but a lot I’ve encountered are just so selfish. I’m not sure if it’s naija hard life and stress of being a man in naija. Men are selfish in nature anyway unless he’s brought up in a good home with nurturing parents. Which naija parents get time to nurture their kids in this damn economy when they’re stressing on how to feed and pay school fees. Everything connects in one way or the other. And oh, I bet you he’s gotten over the guilt by now.😒🙄
DeleteAcrimony Part 2
ReplyDelete