Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
COOKING FOR YOUR MAN WHILE DATING
If you are in a relationship please don’t start what you cannot finish, like cooking, washing clothes or cleaning. I’m engaged to my man and his younger brother lives with him.
Ever since then, i washed my hands off cooking for any man. In my house my mom cooks and serves us. Make i no slave for one small boy because of say i wan marry. I am older than the said guy and he’s not a boy but 28yrs and I’m 33 and my baby is 33 too. So many things to type but Abeg make i rest here.
Na wah.....Your guy did not do you anything directly, it was his brother and even the brother did not do anything per se. he didnt help you get water, then go get it yourself... You also have entitlement mentality.
If you are in a relationship please don’t start what you cannot finish, like cooking, washing clothes or cleaning. I’m engaged to my man and his younger brother lives with him.
Six month into the relationship i started cooking for him and he will stock up in the freezer, I can make up to 5 different types of meals mostly soups and stew for him in a day. I will do that like once in a month.
My guy is very helpful in the kitchen when his around, he can do anything i ask him to like blending and the likes.
His younger brother is very arrogant and proud. He doesn’t clean the house, my guy hardly sends him on an errand because he will give attitude, so he does it by himself.
My guy is very helpful in the kitchen when his around, he can do anything i ask him to like blending and the likes.
His younger brother is very arrogant and proud. He doesn’t clean the house, my guy hardly sends him on an errand because he will give attitude, so he does it by himself.
My fiancé provides all his needs down to money for cutting his hair. He used to asked me for money too and i always give him, but i stopped because of his entitlement mentality.
When he wants to talk, he will say the only person that is doing things for him is his mother and he never acknowledged my fiancé care and love for him.
One day, I went to cook. how we do it is that, my guy will send me money and i will cook whenever it’s convenient for me, I have my own key to his house so i usually don’t call. This particular day, i wasn’t in a good mood with my guy so he didn’t even know i will be coming and he wasn’t home. I got to the house and i met the younger brother at home.
He greeted me and i greeted him back, he then said, you want to cook there hasn’t been light and there’s no water. I was discouraged because i couldn’t even keep the items, they will go bad.
The meats was already cooked in my place, it always easier for me by cooking it at my place. I asked him to buy bag of pure water so i can start washing the Banga and put it on the gas to cook as i was believing God for light.
I steamed my tomatoes and peppers and started frying my meat, immediately it was ready, i began frying my stew i didn’t need water to do all of that so i continued. After waiting for few hours and the light wasn’t restored, I went outside the gate to look for any mallam who I could pay to look for water for me and at the end of the day i couldn’t find nobody. Mind you this my fiancé brother was home, and didn’t bothered to go look for water for me.
I carried three buckets and went out to look for water by myself and i got. This boy was watching me. I was already angry and i sha cooked the vegetable, okro and ogbono with the Banga and went home.
When he wants to talk, he will say the only person that is doing things for him is his mother and he never acknowledged my fiancé care and love for him.
One day, I went to cook. how we do it is that, my guy will send me money and i will cook whenever it’s convenient for me, I have my own key to his house so i usually don’t call. This particular day, i wasn’t in a good mood with my guy so he didn’t even know i will be coming and he wasn’t home. I got to the house and i met the younger brother at home.
He greeted me and i greeted him back, he then said, you want to cook there hasn’t been light and there’s no water. I was discouraged because i couldn’t even keep the items, they will go bad.
The meats was already cooked in my place, it always easier for me by cooking it at my place. I asked him to buy bag of pure water so i can start washing the Banga and put it on the gas to cook as i was believing God for light.
I steamed my tomatoes and peppers and started frying my meat, immediately it was ready, i began frying my stew i didn’t need water to do all of that so i continued. After waiting for few hours and the light wasn’t restored, I went outside the gate to look for any mallam who I could pay to look for water for me and at the end of the day i couldn’t find nobody. Mind you this my fiancé brother was home, and didn’t bothered to go look for water for me.
I carried three buckets and went out to look for water by myself and i got. This boy was watching me. I was already angry and i sha cooked the vegetable, okro and ogbono with the Banga and went home.
Ever since then, i washed my hands off cooking for any man. In my house my mom cooks and serves us. Make i no slave for one small boy because of say i wan marry. I am older than the said guy and he’s not a boy but 28yrs and I’m 33 and my baby is 33 too. So many things to type but Abeg make i rest here.
Na wah.....Your guy did not do you anything directly, it was his brother and even the brother did not do anything per se. he didnt help you get water, then go get it yourself... You also have entitlement mentality.
When i just got abroad, i was expecting to be helped for everything until my husband told me how life is oh, and told me to sweep off that mentality from my head otherwise i would quarrel with everyone for one reason or the other....
Stop cooking for men while dating, its not a must you do except you have a man that has that expectation, which is also wrong.
I am happy you have freed yourself from cooking for man while dating.
No vexs say i tell you my mind oh..
Na wa 🚶🏿♀️
ReplyDeleteSluttychic.
Poster you narrated my Ex. Hope it's not same person. You better run as the family controls him.
DeleteThey are three kids 2 boys and a sister with special needs. His younger Brother is so rude and unbothered bcos his mum will always side him. The mum controls the whole family.
Ex was a good guy but controlled by his family. His Folks are in Delta. Though he turned 44 this year. His brother Chubany is something else.
My Dear don't be in a rush to get Married o because it will burn you. Please Pray and Fast to God ALMIGHTY to confirm if His your husband. Na only GOD fit save person
This cooking and cleaning stuff works for different people, some actually got married to the said guy, but I don’t think that was the reason why the men married the women.
DeleteI personally did not do it so I cannot advise anyone to do same, and I think why it’s mostly discouraged is so that if the relationship ends, the lady doesn’t feel used.
Do it because you enjoy doing it not because you were expecting anything in return.
Now to your chronicle, nobody actually asked you to cook, you decided to, so whatever distress you encountered along the way shouldn’t be on another person. It can be annoying that he refused to help out, I will be utterly irritated.
I don’t think your man should be punished about something you both enjoy doing and is kind of a bonding session between you two, rather call him and have a talk with him, tell him how angry you were and you can’t keep providing (labour) for someone who doesn’t appreciate and help out.
Let him talk to his brother and if the boy doesn’t want to change he can come over to yours to have his meal and cooking sessions.
You can also talk to the boy in a friendly manner and get to the root of the matter why he behaves the way he does.
Now, concerning him saying his mother is his only provider, it may actually be true, you don’t know if the family had a deal where the mother helps your boyfriend and must also provide for his brother… it may be their family arrangement.
I dislike rude and entitled people.
Push up (original)
@Push up... Well said
DeleteIncase you intend marrying this man, ensure he gets an apartment for his brother before the wedding. I repeat. Make sure the brother moves out before you wed.
ReplyDeletePoster please follow this advice, you must not marry into same flat with this man or, his brother should get a place for him or else not seen anything. Let the cooking stop for now, they are both bachelors so they cook and enjoy their bachelor hood for now. You have done no wrong.
DeleteNever marry into that house without the brother being already gone
DeleteLet him go back to his mother provider if accommodation cannot be brought for him
Madam have standards don't settle for less
No Stella, I disagree!
ReplyDeleteWill the brother not eat from the food? It’s just common sense to help get the water or even offer to help.
Well poster, it’s good you stopped cooking. Let everybody take care of themselves.
Thank you Jare.
DeleteThe said brother will still defrost the food from the refrigerator and eat without a conscience.
He couldn't do the barest but expects her to go all out for their sake.
Twins ♊ Squared.
He didn’t send her suffer work
DeleteHe told her no water and she continued
Exactly, if he must eat , he must work too Expect he's not going to eat the food. He's an adult. There's no entitlement here.
DeleteYou shouldn't have even started with the cooking thingy in the first place
ReplyDeleteIt's good that you have decided to stop at this point
This should be a rant not a chronicle
ReplyDeleteYou don kuku dey find reason to stop before, if not wetin your bobo do you? Now you came here writing trash trying to recruit other ladies into your folds .
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, even the brother owe you nothing.. if you won cook, clean or anything, do it yourself, don't expect anyone to join you,. If they join fine, but stop expecting..
There was a period I and my big bro stayed together, he won't let me cook cos he'll say I no Sabi cook,. Still he won't let me be when he's cooking,. He'll make sure I stay with him in the kitchen so he'll be ordering me around, bring this, cut this, go and get this.. Omo na so I para oh.. Bros, if you won cook cook, if you no won cook, abeg leave me make I cook the food.. that was the day the whole thing ended..
No one forced you to come and cook, na you want make them see you as wife material, if you want to stop, abeg stop.. the barest minimum you're doing is what we won't hear word again and people must join you to do it... Is your boyfriend not also doing things for you? Does he ask you to support when he wants to do something for you? Or would he involve your younger sister in his hustle cos he's giving you the proceeds..
Abeg park one side jare..
Wetin dey for cooking wey we no go hear word again..
Something wey babes dey use beg person but man gats dey careful make dem no go give person kobnomi chop🙄..
I know say I don add one more enemy to my enemies for here, normal levels lol.. but seriously, na very annoying chronicle..
Mtcheew
You see that ordering around in kitchen and forming you are the one cooking; i hate it to the bones!
DeleteOur first girl has PhD in that nonsense. She will just stand and be turning something inside pot; you will do EVERYTHING! Sometimes she will be answering calls and sending you around.
Once food is ready, she must have told like ten people that being 1st child no easy o, how she cooked the world today and her younger ones were all relaxing.
I will now be telling myself; haaaa; is it that my ears is paining me or my body doesn't know what i did today? I pounded cocoyam, washed dry fish, per boiled bitterleaf To take out bitterness, I precooked the meat before she came back, I blended pepper and crayfish, I opened Ogidi and put in plate and even unwrapped Maggi etc
I got angry one day and told her to do roaster. It is better i cook 5days and she cooks 2days than for the nonsense she likes doing in kitchen.
She reported me to our mother that likes supporting her. I reported to our Dad. We divided it and I got 4days; while she got 3days. I was over joyed!
16:36 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
DeleteHonestly that ish is annoying
@Kobnomi 😂😂😂
DeleteMan neva wan kpai abeg.
@Dante... Wish I could buy you a carton for this. The nonsense over cooking is a bit too much.
DeleteP.S, it's actually a privilege if your guy allows you cook for him, with/without his presence, as it indicates the TRUST He has in you. If you doubt it, ask single guys how many girls are allowed to cook for them..... especially without monitoring.
Much Ado about nothing....
19:50 that’s not what Dante said oh
DeleteWhy attach your comment to his own and say something else
Privilege sha 😄😄
Lies. Many guys rely on women to cook for them. Girlfriends, friends who are girls, classmates, colleagues from work, church girls, neighbours, relatives etc. You see them in hostels in schools, or those living the bachelor life to the fullest. Some are even entitled as if it is their right for their girlfriends to cook for them. Some will know you first day, second day is come and cook. I know mumu guys that will even go and patronise prostitutes, bring them to their homes, then next morning ask them to cook. Abeg sufry with the lies. 🤥
DeleteDante don vex 😂😂😂😂
DeleteAnonymous 16.36 I like this two lines below
DeleteShe reported me to our mother that likes supporting her. I reported to our Dad
As usual bitterness and questionable intelligence no gree you objectivity, entitled korofo, it is the pickmes cooking for lowlifes like you I blame , imagine the arrogance (privilege for cooking for the dusty brokies)
DeleteThere’s no entitlement mentality here tho. Food that he will also eat from. The least that brother could have done was to provide water, honestly.
ReplyDeletePoster, ur fiancé didn’t really do anything wrong here tho but why are u cooking this extensively for a man that has not married you? Why? So tey u dey carry gallon go find water sef 😂
Asin who send u? cooking 5different soup and stew, really..
DeleteAnd if u want his brother to get water for u,tell him directly..bros please get me water to cook.. simple,this is after marriage o,as long as he cleans his plates,room,greet u.. leave him alone and face ur home..
😂 😂 😂
DeleteNa wetin you take start relationship naim you go take maintain am. Your guy fit go find another babe becos he fit think sey you don change and you no like him family. Hopefully you both communicate well and things are smoothed out. But think am, if you guys get married na so things go be and na so you go dey vex?
DeleteAsin
DeleteShe’s really a “cooker”
Cus what the ekk
They even seem to cook more than I do in my own husbands house 😀
Poster, hope you are not washing his clothes too, if he doesn’t marry you now, you’d feel used.
For now, let him cook and eat in your own house.
I hope you are not washing his clothes sha😀
Push up (original)
Just keep cooking ohhh, you go tire🙄.
ReplyDeleteJust don't start complaining when you marry you marry ooo. I no wan hear "wife not cook" 🙄
33 and 33?, Hmmm. My grandma used to advise us that, in marriage, a woman must look up (man's age) while the man must look down ( woman's age), 🤷
ReplyDeleteTufiakwa oh. Mentality. God Abeg oh
DeleteAbeg leave matter
DeleteAs long as they love and respect each other, let them be
My husband is just 4 months older than me so for a very good part of the year, we are same age. Best relationship I’ve ever been in
DeleteI'm of the opinion that a lady can cook for her man whenever she visits if the plan is not to eat out. However, making it your duty to stock up on food for him in his freezer is a no-no. It's not your job as you're not his wife yet.
ReplyDeleteSee finish don enter na. Please, ensure he settles his brother by getting an apartment for him before marrying this guy.
What’s a 28 yr old still doing in his brothers house? And a wicked lazy leech at that? Pls throw that infidel out before you marry the brother o. Tomorrow he’ll marry someone’s daughter? God Abeg o
ReplyDeleteAbeg my sister is with me here
DeleteWhat do you mean what’s 28 year old doing with his brother
Infidel? 🙄. Is it that you DON'T have a dictionary or you have a plain evil heart?
Delete16:38 trust me it’s not that deep
DeleteWhy use this language? Remember, God in all that you do.
Delete18:01 it is very DEEP! Accept your wrong or swerve abeg!
DeleteEven in your house that your mother cooks for you, one or two lend a helping hand no matter how small. The 28 year old should have helped out, it's no big deal after all, he will still eat the food.
ReplyDeleteThat kind of junior brother might even be a slave to his girlfriend if he has one but be forming "this is my brother's house", so what?
The junior brother does not like you, it's that evident.
Do not be cajoled into start cooking again as you have stopped to avoid burst ups. Not only that, every other thing the brother can and should do that you're doing, quietly withdraw doing them.
Who will marry you will marry you and not by doing chores for him.
I think that the junior brother is acting according to the respect he feels his brother accords the poster. There is how he will act towards you that the brother will automatically pick dressing. Also if your guy is the anything goes type and feels his family can have free range in his home and affairs, he may not do much to protect you and establish boundaries when the need arises, as the head of the home. Also if you are too nice and too accommodating people generally take you for granted. So much for being nice.......
Delete17:17 leave the fiancé alone
DeleteThe boy doesn’t respect him so how can you fault him for what he does to the wife
17:50 I am seeing things from different angles. I said what I said.
Delete17:50
DeleteHe doesn't respect the brother with the comment about only the mother being his help, how sentiments and emotions allows people keep such resentful users around them even as relatives is beyond me
So who are you to respect,beware of that family
We can't just stop learning from chronicles every day.
ReplyDeleteWahala be like bicycles.
I have a number of reasons why I live with anyone and don't like people living me me as well.
Sometimes the inconveniences that comes with it may hurt you to the bone marrows
We can't just stop learning from chronicles every day.
ReplyDeleteWahala be like bicycles.
I have a number of reasons why I don't like living with anyone and don't like people living with me as well.
Sometimes the inconveniences that comes with it may hurt you to the bone marrows
Taking on a wife’s role without the commitment is a waste of time. There has to be boundaries in everything. Dating, girlfriend, fiancé, and wife are all different titles with different levels of commitment and boundaries. Once you start crossing the lines and start play out a different role that you are not at, you will be hurt. You will feel pain. Even I that come from a culinary family don’t cook for men. Cooking is an act of love and comes with deep meaning for me, I can’t come put on pot for any average man. Please!
ReplyDeleteI am happy your brain went back to factory setting. And you learned your lesson well.
It will be good if our brothers learn this too - to grade women and acts of love towards them.
DeleteJust that our sisters will tell us that if man loves a woman, any woman, he should wrestle a female bear robbed of its cubs for her.
Women as selfishly socialized to believe that they have to prove themselves as "wife material" to continue toxic masculinity as second class citizens
DeleteIf the guy didn't marry you at last all these your labour will now be in vain ,better stop it
ReplyDeleteIf the guy didn't marry you at last all these your labour will now be in vain ,better stop it
ReplyDeleteNa your fiance give him brother that hand o. You no go dey my house dey misbehave, for wetin na?
ReplyDeleteSo far your guy appreciates you, I see no big deal here. But make it clear from day 1 that you're not going to leave with the bro after wedding,to avoid story that touch.
ReplyDeleteI did all these and more when dating my husband,and he never fails to appreciate me for it, years later,I still dey use it to yabb him, especially if I asked him for money and he doesn't want to give me, I'll remind him of when I used to use my money to cook for him🤣, guy man will quickly cooperate
You won't cook again because his younger brother didn't help you. Fine then, no problems. You started cooking on your own free will, you can also stop when it gets tiring. Baa wahala
ReplyDeleteOh well. Food blind my eye to the problem. Only seeing how I will dish 4 different soups home and eat. Boyfriend food kuku dey weight. Send better money take cook better food😋
ReplyDeleteDon't stop cooking abeg. Because imagine say your guy like food like me... Na die be that o
At 33yrs of age see how you turn yourself into chef because you want to marry , hahahahaha e hard oo.
ReplyDeleteAnd Ste please stop with the no one owes you mentality and no it’s not all white people who think like your husband, a lot actually help around . It’s a team work ! Isn’t abroad white men help in domestic chores more than anything?
The boy is an ungrateful, lazy , spoil brat , simple courtesy demands that he offers to fetch for the person cooking for you .
If you’re gonna marry this guy make sure he rents an apartment for his brother so he doesn’t move in with you guys , he’s trouble.
Well, poster you get time.
ReplyDeleteWith the exception of my husband, I never visited a guy at his place, never. I no get that time. Visit my place instead or we hangout. I no get time to dey explain myself o.
That's one of the ways I controlled see finish.
I love this!! Damn, many see finish happens if the girl continuously visits the guy's house. I learnt this in my 20s
DeleteGood that you got some sense to stop that rubbish, when you finish all the cooking you have to do when married now he will go for another girl. If you are dating anyone when he visits you cook and serve him to show him you can cook, always make sure your house are kept clean so that he will understand you know how to keep a house clean. Stop going to cook, clean, wash for any man. Wait till you become his wife before you can start doing house girl work.
ReplyDeleteMen stop spending on women wait untill you wife them first. Nonsense
DeleteAlso stop sleeping with women. Stop fornicating. Wait until you wife them first. Nonsense.
DeleteExcited
DeleteNeutral environment is better, ladies have been molested by animals pretending to want to date
Nothing wrong with cooking for him
ReplyDeleteYorubas say look at the person you’re bargaining with in the market and not the noise of the market
You are looking at the noise. At the brother. He didn’t wrong you anyway. He doesn’t like inconvenience and if you called before going they would have told you there’s no light
I’m not big on people who create extra work and get mad when you don’t help them. He didn’t want to fetch water. I see no fault in that. I don’t like stress so unless the situation is extreme I’m not fetching water
Why not cook from your house and bring finished product to your guy. He’s your fiancé and you’re about to be married anyway.
Sha me I no too get patient for those kind things. I'm very vocal, so, I will send him to help. If he says no, then he will see my other side.
ReplyDeleteWhich other side of you? Women really overate themselves. You want to show me the other side of you in his brothers house? You might even be the side chick😂
Delete5 different dishes for a man that is not even your husband. Wow. There are levels to this thing.
ReplyDeleteIt’s not hard
DeleteI can cook all this in one standing for my house
Yes it takes time but most Nigerian soups start off same way so only to break out later and add the main ingredient
I can’t even make 5 different dishes at once for the man that married me three ways 😀😀
DeleteHe will even tell me not to bother myself cus he’d be really concerned
You people should keep whining yourselves
20:08 I make for myself
DeleteIt’s easy for me and I store up in my freezer
Very annoying something. She can't do the same for her parents, na for man wey fit no marry her las las.
DeleteBecause she is selfish!
DeleteHer mother did it for her husband.
Her mother is doing it for her and her siblings.
They cannot help her. But she is doing it for marriage. Herself.
Poster you dey try o, a whole 5 pots of soup ha.
ReplyDeleteDem don see you finish.
Una doh o.
Now that you don't want to do it anymore your guy will not be happy. I hope you both don't fall out like this.
Again your Man's bro is very naughty. But if you look at it in another way he no send you.
You choose to do this and you don't expect everybody will align and help even if they will end up eating these meals.
I'm reminded of when I used to squat with a family friend who was also living with the sibling.
The sibling always cleaned the house every weekend, never expected me to clean, infact even the times I planned to clean before I get to do it I found it was already done.
This sibling also cooks.
Yes I cook most of the time and they really enjoyed it cos my food was always sweeter, and anytime I do my own I don't expect any help from anybody and the same for them too.
Learn to be independent most of the time.
It will do you well and help you ignore some useless character.
No bi you say you dey capable to cook? na why you dey run?🚶
ReplyDeleteWait, you actually cook 5 different dishes for your Bf abi fiance? Waawu, Well next time when you need help, you ask for it, if he turns you down, then you can judge him for being wicked, You didn't ask, He didn't offer to help you, I see no reason why you should stop cooking for your man, But 5 dishes! Nne you get strength, May God reward your effort with the marriage abeg.
ReplyDeletePoster please get out of here. Aside from that Cooking what else does your bf benefits from you? I'm 💯 sure he is the one sorting your bills. Don't go and poison his mind towards his kid brother. You think because you are cooking for them the kid bro should worship you? What do Nigerian girls offer to Nigerian men in relationship that will make them think cooking is a big deal?
ReplyDeleteI am sure you don't cook so you don't appreciate the effort it takes.
DeleteTrue. Cooking na work.
DeleteIncome earning na work.
If a man carries the bills of a woman who cooks for him.
No bi two working be dat?
In short work na work. 😂
DeleteAre you cooking for only him
ReplyDeleteOr you collecthe money, cook, keep some for him and some for you
That’s what you should be doing so the thing is mutually beneficial
One good advice i will give u is this, never report to ur guy the reason u stopped keep feigning tiredness and lack of chance.
ReplyDeleteBut i must hail u, u tried it's not easy.
Please stop cooking for him,that brother of his is very rude,he could have helped with water,I didn't cook for my husband before we got married even though iam a very good cook,I used to cook once in awhile for my ex fiance then with my money and guess what happened at the end of the day? Story for another day.
ReplyDeleteLet him marry you and enjoy the benefits of marriage,cooking 5 different soups haaa you try oooo. Your guy didn't do anything wrong,but I think he needs to sit his brother up,I believe if he carries you well,his brother will do the same,he could have gone out to look for meruwa since he is eating from that soup.
There’s nothing wrong with cooking for ur fiancé. My only problem here is the way the brother has no regard for you. It goes beyond not getting water for u to cook.
ReplyDeleteIf u look very well, he’s taken a cue from the way ur fiancé treats u. If ur fiancé is the carefree type who doesn’t have boundaries when it comes to his family, then be ready for more of these episodes in future from other members of his family.
Having said that, I think u should let ur fiancé know ur concerns and his response will help u make a decision on whether or not to get married into his family. Good luck!
Stop cooking for men you're not married to, una no dey hear. Has it occurred to you that the brother doesn't rate you because he knows of someone else in the picture?
ReplyDeleteGbam. There goes her answer.
DeleteYou forgot to add, someone else who knows her worth. I’m sure she eats from the soup too and guy man probably lies that he orders or cooks them loll. 😃 let me stop abeg.
DeleteYou just want to destroy the relationship finish.
DeleteOya na, Poster, kuku scrap the relationship. Go find another man who will always eat out with you or order meals when you both are at home. And truly such men are available aplenty. The choice is yours.
See how you people will put bad ideas in this Poster's mind and destroy a happy relationship.
DeleteOver wetin? Ordinary cooking ooo. Na wa
Cooking 5 different pot of soups for bf that’s not even your fiancé. When una go talk marriage? Just bf you dey cook your ass off plus spread legs I’m sure. Place a value on yourself sis. Ps:28 year old brother is not going anywhere so get ready to deal with him all through because his lazy ass won’t get a place for himself. Are you really ready for this type of stressful situation? I feel exhausted for you self. Instead of you talking about main point and where relationship is heading to and what’s the deal and arrangement with brother living with him, marriage plans. Finances, testing blood group to see compatibility, how many kids y’all want, etc…you’re there cooking and cooking 5 different pots of soup and I’m sure they’re big ass pots too. Ok o Continue.
ReplyDeleteEvery woman does not walk the same road to marriage.
ReplyDeleteSome women did not cook 5 different pots of soups to avoid see finish. But they did more and were not seen finish.
It will surprise some women if they knew why their husbands married them despite what they did or didn't do during courtship.
Some women do not even know the value they put in their husbands lives because the men will not tell to avoid see finish.
Some women did not cook, wash and clean. But they:
Provided money
Prayed their men to breakthrough and deliverance
Connected their men
Motivated by words and actions
Brought fortune or wiped away bad luck
Brought peace profound
Showed directions or leadership
Counselled
Accepted in ways their husbands have never been accepted all their lives
Led their husbands to spiritual growth, to God
Brought organization to the chaotic lives of their husbands
Brought reconciliation of siblings
Brought something of value into the life of the man who married them
And yes, some women are married because they cooked, washed and cleaned alone or in addition to any or some of the above or others unlisted.
Poster, so long as your baby values what you are doing and is and willingly helping out in the kitchen, think well before you act. Worry more about whether your baby will continue to help after marriage than whether his brother helps in getting water or not.
Poster, worry even more about whether you are sincere in your kitchen work especially as you don't even help or cook at home. Ask yourself whether you can continue to cook so much after marriage especially if your baby does not help because he has to go double his income. Your chronicle reads more like you are forcing yourself to do too much to be married. Doing what you would not do at home for your mother and siblings. That's why the brother's action so riled you despite the apparent good nature of your baby on this food matter.
But if you enjoy what you are doing. Continue. Leave the brother alone. You were not cooking for him anyway. He is just collateral. Since you feel so strongly about his behaviors, settle the matter of where he would stay, etc before going further. However, know that if he is not cooperative in going away just before your marriage, he would create in-laws challenges for you in your baby's family.
And let nobody deceive you.
Your way to marriage need not be the other person's, even your blood sister's way, marriage is one by each.
Do you. Do what is working for you.
Best wishes.
Sound counsel, I have seen in a while.
DeleteAll the sisters whose boyfriends are carrying in-laws' burden in the sisters' families usually don't come out to speak when cooking for a fiance is presented as difficult as providing stable electric power in Nigeria.
ReplyDeleteWetin dey cooking?