Allowing a Spouse' relative live in your matrimonial home is one of the trickiest parts of being married... That move can break or make the Marriage..
The relative can be the mother in law or father in law (or both) or sister in law or brother in law (or both) or cousin in law or someone from your spouse' family....
For some it is a good experience and for some, it is a nightmare experience...
Is anyone of your in laws presently living in your matrimonial home? Is it a good or bad experience?
Lets gist!!!!
I made that mistake before. Against my earlier reservations, i allowed my wifes sisters stay with us. It took the grace of God and extreme tolerance on my part that our marraige didn't break apart after the conduct of her sisters. For me, it is best to relate with in-laws from afar. That's if at all there is any need.
ReplyDeleteNot all in-laws have the basic understanding that there are boundaries in homes and they should be respected.
Yo can have a bad husband or wife; that one can be managed. But when you have bad in-laws, even the devil will be constantly checking up on you to console you.
😫 God forbid the devil
DeleteNever allow a relationship stay with you. See finished dey enter too much
ReplyDeleteIts no big deal If they are helpful in the house.
ReplyDeleteMy brother-in-law stays with me. He doesn't give me trouble but it's not giving us space to explore each other.
ReplyDeleteDora the explorer what if it was your own relation
DeleteDon’t be stupid. She said he is not giving trouble. If it was her relative she also won’t be able to explore as she wants no difference
DeletePlease allow your brother or sister enjoy their marriage. Visit and go. Don't stay with them abeg.
ReplyDeleteI’ve never really had the need to accommodate an Inlaw but knowing my hubby well I’m so sure he would never consent to such arrangement. Except it’s his mom for a specified period of time.
ReplyDeleteMy SIL lived with us for 3 years...hubby didn't even tell me she was coming to live that long...she too an adult of 23 years didn't say how long she would stay...I decided to be a good accommodating wife and make her comfortable...but she is vile full of bile...till she left my house I didn't know, wasn't informed, same way she came was the same way she left...the experience was not a good one at all. I won't advise my daughter to have a live-in in-law...at all.
ReplyDeleteMy husband younger brother, who is 12 years stayed with us for a year plus. He travelled with my kids to my mother-in-law house. Unknowingly to us, he downloaded pornography videos in my kids IPad. He uploaded the videos on WhatsApp status at 4.am in the morning when everyone was asleep. Surprisingly for me, I saw my daughter name on my WhatsApp status. There was no WhatsApp in the tablet, just cartoons. I just saved the videos and sent to hubby. That was the day he left my house. I thank God for exposing him early. I have two daughters and a son.
ReplyDeleteI am traumatized😲😲
DeleteKai God Wetin come be this one
DeleteMy GOD!! And you say this guy was 12yrs old?😳
DeleteMy God!😲
DeleteMy sis-in-law was living with my husband before we got married. After getting married, she still lived with us for two years before she got married & left. We had a very good relationship that still exists till date. In fact, she made sure I acted the role of her mum on her wedding day since my mum-in-law is late. I don't see it as a big deal for my in-law to live with me as long as he/she doesn't give me headache.
ReplyDeleteI wish there was a like button.
DeleteYou are a good woman
DeleteYes, my Brother in-law lives (Hubby's Much Younger cousin) with me a Man of almost 40years and 80%of the time it's been a Nightmare.
ReplyDeleteHe selects Foods
He doesn't eat Yam, but when all of Us travelled to hubby's Bosom friends place and his wife served us Yam and Egg sauce, Uncle finished everything and I asked him there and then I thought you said you don't eat Yam, To which he couldn't give a Good answer.
He doesn't eat Eba
Must be Semolina, wheat,Fufu or Pounded Yam😂
If you give him rice in the morning You must give him something totally different at night.
He doesn't eat boiled eggs.
When you fry Eggs it must be at least 3eggs
He doesn't like Eba and soup in same plate(Understandably)
He likes to be served in the Room
My Nanny washes his clothes (this I stopped when I found out)
He doesn't eat plantains.
All this Complaints are coming from someone who doesn't contribute a Dime to the house.
#He kept playing until one day I changed the Story.
Nobody is allowed to Stress the Child of the Most High God✌️
You even tried sef, if I cook you don't like the food , oga you no be kuturu enter kitchen cook Wetin you want.
Delete😅😅😅this one na trouble he just bring come be that
DeleteYou over tried. If it was me you’d leave my house after three days. A 40 years old man has no business living in my matrimonial home.
DeleteNa this kind one’s dey sexually abuse children
DeleteMy husband's older brother has lived with us for our 5 years of marriage. When I found out it wasn't going to change anytime soon, I left his brother to be tending to his needs because I can't see how a grown man will expect to be tended to like a baby . My husband is rather unhappy about it but he cannot say much. It's just a peaceful and unspoken stance & I know his siblings discuss it often but they're free to cuz it's not to my face.
DeleteI don't intend to bring relatives to my house neither does my husband.Lets relate from a distance.
ReplyDeleteMy bro in-law has been staying with me since my first year in marriage. He has been very helpful. About to move to his own place. But the year the mother came to stay with us, I am still facing the consequences of that my decision. Cos my hubby didn't want her at all. I was the one that pleaded for her.
ReplyDeletePele my dear
DeleteThank you Gifty.
DeleteIn-laws are more welcome in a marital home if related to the wife. Some women prefer to leave a marriage than not have their family member live in with them to be catered for till adulthood by their husbands.
ReplyDeleteComplaints about resident in-laws are lesser unless they overreach themselves and put their sister or her children in danger of death or actually caused death of a her child.
That is my experience with a step mother who gave her family members the run of her home even when her step children were not allowed near the porch figuratively speaking.
Eventually, they opened the door to her misfortune. Though her children want to point fingers elsewhere, the truth is difficult to hide when the cup gets filled.
My husband brought his pregnant sister to live with us 6 months after marriage. Her baby daddy ran away. He didn’t even tell me first. He just brought her.It was a nightmare. Fear Igbo in laws. In fact anambra to be precise.The most terrible set of in laws!!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry about ur experience but don't generalize
DeleteI got married at a very young age and u was naive. When I got married,my hubby and 3 of his brothers are staying together,2 his younger ones and the other a cousin. Initially I didn't see anything wrong in it cos I came from a small family. The youngest one was in Jss,that boy stole from me like hell.initially I didn't suspect him infact I thought something was wrong with me cos I just kept money on the drawer and entered the toilet money missed.i never imagined he could enter my bedroom until I caught him red handed.one day I and hubby were bathing in the night and I noticed someone was peeping from.the window,told hubby and he quickly went outside and behold it was that spoilt brat.The atrocities that liltle hrat committed in my home I can't type all here but las las he impregnanted our landlord niece that was staying with them.He was 16 and the girl 14. Hubby bundled him to the park and offload him to a vehicle traveling to their village and called his parents to go pick him up. The other brother was stealing from hubby in his business,he will go out and get drunk come home and be vommiting outside,the cousin will clean and wash to avoid me and hubby finding out. When his cup was full he left us. It was only the cousin that was a good person.
ReplyDeleteIf it's now that I know what I know,I will never accept that rubbish,if they're staying,I'm leaving.
It’s hard staying with myself talkless of other people
DeleteMy husband talked about her sister's daughter coming to live with us. I told him that I won't want to live with any of his niece because it will bring issue between me and her sister. The one that came from abroad 2 years didn't do well. I don't want wahala.
ReplyDeleteI don't see it as a big deal as long as there is respect.
ReplyDeleteNah. I don’t want that. Both my relatives and my in-laws. I am not compromising this peace and quiet I have in my home for anything. Just pray I have enough to assist you with rent because otilo
ReplyDeleteHmmm. I had three SILs for about six years. I tried to be accommodating, cooked for them ....well divorce proceedings are on going.
ReplyDeleteI remember I didn't want them but was told no way. And then when the first daughter got married, MIL told me in a discussion that haaaa they said they don't want anyone to live with them, I was shocked . Not her fault, na her son wey be Mama's boy na... It's well
I remember when my husband cousin wife and two kids came to live with myself and hubby with 4 kids in a 2 bedroom apartments it wasn't funny. they stayed for 2 months. when I could no longer cope I begged hubby to rent a room for them because the house become too crowded. this people refuse to go because of the free food they are eating after two weeks that we got them accomodations . until they pushed me I stopped preparing their food the third day they left.
ReplyDeleteYes @ Canny.
ReplyDeleteMine was a bitter experience, I won't advice my daughter to try it.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, learning here
ReplyDeleteDefined visits
ReplyDeleteOne week max
Keep moving
Discuss this before marriage guys
ReplyDeleteWhen parents get sick or fragile will the wife become the carer( as the selfish and inconsiderate thinking in Nigeria by men)?
Women ask ooo