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Monday, November 06, 2023

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmm...


STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE

Good day Sdk family, Please post this for me Stella.
My step mother Inlaw dislikes me, I got married 4 years ago and I have been nothing but good to her. I buy her gifts every month, I render services to her, her married daughter and so many things I can’t even mention just so I can be on her good side BUT She badmouths me to anyone that cares to listen and recruits family members to hate me.

A little back story....
My mother Inlaw is late and my step mother Inlaw is who I consider to be my mother inlaw. Her last child is in Babcock university and I knew how much I begged my husband to take up the boy’s responsibility after he was expelled from UNILAG.

 I did all that and many more so that my step mother Inlaw can like me and accept me. She doesn’t check up on me and when I do she doesn’t respond very well and she doesn’t seem thrilled whenever I visit her..
Please what do I do for her to accept me and like me? I have exhausted my options, it’s like I’m now worshipping her and it’s affecting my mental health..


*If you give your love and time and it is not reciprocated then TAKE IT BACK....
Stop all what you are doing for her and face front...stop calling and stop visiting but do not stop your husband from helping her and her children...Just remove yourself totally from her life and surroundings.... You dont need to give anyone material things to like you, if they dont like you, nothing will change even if you buy lots of gifts... You started the Friendship on a wront foot and need to stop it right now...... STOP IT!!!

54 comments:

  1. Is she the one feeding you? Is she she the one supplying you oxygen? Why should you be begging someone to love you? Free the woman so that you can be appreciated, people don't value who throws his/herself around anyhow, they will see it as eyes service, let her earn your love and acceptance now, you will see how she will quickly adjust



    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Larry, thank you.

      Looks like original eye service.

      Are you income earning employed?
      The things you buy and give to her plus the telephone bills, are they from your direct earnings?
      If you are not funding the giving, etc. don't you see the woman takes it you are not doing anything for her? After all, it is her son's money, right?
      If you are funding the giving FROM YOUR INCOME, do you lavish the same giving on your husband from your income?
      If you fund and give your mother in law without giving your husband, is that not original eye service?
      Was your husband responsible for his siblings welfare before you were married? If yes, why do you think she would care if he sends the younger brother here or there. Is it not a continuation of what he has been doing?
      Are you chopping your husband's money big big and feel the need to compensate his step mother to divert eyes from you?

      Before we put MORE mouth, what does your own husband say. He knows the woman better than you. Go ask your husband and update us.

      As we await your return, learn that with in-laws, the middle way is the best way.
      Stay in your home.
      Mind your husband, children, and home.
      No over do. No under do.
      Be there when needed. Do your best. Leave the rest.
      No start fight. Run from fight. Run from husband family gossip.
      Move home to mind your husband and children.
      Abi no bi marriage you go?

      If you are Yoruba, go look for and listen to Baba's song of the Man and the Horse.

      Delete
    2. You can't force "likeness" from people, like and love your GOD.
      Face front and be prayerful.

      Mao Akuh

      Delete
    3. You owe her nothing and do not need her Love to exist, she is not as important as you made her look before since your mother-in-law is late face your family and husband. If your husband misses or is in need of a mother or his mother, be his mother when he needs one and his wife when he needs his wife too.
      As for your stepmother-in-law let her work for the Love you give since she doesn't value free Love and please do this do this in a very polite way but make sure she get the massage.

      Delete
  2. Hf_beddings/fiber-pillows/honey/English-fabrics 090723003916 November 2023 at 15:10

    Aunty nah by force?
    Why do you desperately need her acceptance and love?
    Majority of African mother inlaws sef never love their son's wife, not to talk of a step mother inlaw.
    You are over doing it already.

    Why can't you dey your dey?
    And nobody asked you to be doing all the extras.
    Face your front, avoid visiting her frequently except necessary, call sparingly and do your obligations or when requested.

    If you love peace and your marriage, you will face your front.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can't buy love nor respect. Mind your marriage. Respect your step mother inlaw and don't over compensate.

      Delete
  3. Your allegiance is to your husband and not to his mother and it seems you guys ( you and your husband) are good to/with each other. Why go out of your way to please her?

    Have you not heard you don't force friendship? Since this bothers you, let your husband know about it and face front. Even if you give your right eye, she will not change or like you. Meaning, concentrate on your family and mind your business.

    She notices you going out of your way to please her and might be feeling you're disturbing yourself. Only if you know or hear what goes on in her mind and what she thinks of you.




    ReplyDelete
  4. Pls tell us the reason why you are hell bent on her liking you. Maybe u think if she likes you more. Your husband will love u. That’s not true at all. Pls value yourself. You’re an asset. People should love to be with you cos u have a good heart so stop dragging yourself in the mud

    Zendaya

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm thinking she snatched the man from another woman

      I may be wrong o , before Una come for me

      Delete
  5. Stella, I imagined you saying ''Stop it'' with so much anger and frown lol ๐Ÿ˜† poster I hope you can also go this extra mile for the love of God by obeying his commandments. Better leave that sadist alone except what you posted here isn't the full story.

    ReplyDelete
  6. She Cant like you because she doesn’t like your husband.. The earlier you know that the better!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought as much too, I wonder why poster can not shift her one side and focus on her husband ...for someone that's not feeding your family? Nawa o

      Delete
  7. Stop forcing people to love or accept you, me I don't care whether you like me or not, so far I don't hurt you or offend you, it's your feeling and you're entitled to it. The only time we will have problem is when you try to bully or intimidate me.
    I've noticed since when I was a kid that people that will hate you will hate you for no reason no matter how good you are.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wake - Up and STOP.

    I know this is tough Sis, but you need to stop chasing to be loved. You are trying to force a relationship and it is making you look desperate and insincere.

    Know this: A clear conscience fears no accusation. Just make sure that your heart is right in secret and in the open.

    Lastly, it is your husband's duty to protect you and I don't know why he's not doing that or he may have told you to mind your business, I can't say but any which way... It is time for you to STOP.
    Perform your rights to her and face your front.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Not everyone will like you. Don't force it poster. Just have it at the back of your mind. Let her be and concentrate on yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  10. So you come to this life to satisfy your step mother inlaw abii? Continue.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Poster,please why do you need this woman's approval,so much? She doesn't care about you,and she does not hide it. Please ignore her and focus on your marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Face who you married and forget about inllaws that doesn't want you
    Totally press the ignore botton

    ReplyDelete
  13. Just pack Stella's advice you hear , that is all you need right now.
    Take you love back

    ReplyDelete
  14. You in your doing cannot make anyone like you. Aren’t you tired, exhausted, burntout? All you are doing is putting pressure on your mind, pocket and household. The time you are investing in trying to get her to like you is time that you could be investing in your own upliftment, your husband, and your household. Jesus wasn’t liked by everyone and even God is hated by many, you heard that they are stressing and bending over backwards to seek out anyone’s favour? Please stop caring about some unknown woman in one unknown part of the world. Please, face front and focus on your own home. Show courtesy and respect to her and that is all that she is due from you, and give her space. You too busy. Bout you buying monthly gift and checking in regularly. Mtsscchhwww

    ReplyDelete
  15. Just face front you have tried your best, but your best is not good enough for her. You can't force her to like you and you have really tried your best for her to like you..just let her be abeg..

    ReplyDelete
  16. ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽตIf your mother-in-law no dey do you well, ta๐Ÿ‘ ta๐Ÿ‘ ta๐Ÿ‘ ta๐Ÿ‘ away!!! ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽต

    ReplyDelete
  17. Stop forcing yourself to people who doesnt reciprocate period.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Aunty dey your dey. Respect, Love and care for your Mother inlaw but not at the detriment of your health. Stop seeking for validation or attention please

    ReplyDelete
  19. Just focus on yourself, ur hubby and kids,if she doesn't like you, leave her alone, she will be tired las las.

    ReplyDelete
  20. You don't need her acceptance. What you don't know is that she did not even love your husband. Just live your life and pretend as if they are not there and stop serving them abeg. She no be your husband mama na step she be.valur yourself and find way to minimize your going to the family house.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Lol..

    Can never be me oh..
    Stop treating people better than they deserve. Don't do for someone what the person wouldn't do for you, whether good or bad.

    Let me give you gist (babe go vex again for this one๐Ÿ˜)..
    Met this beautiful chic some months back, after much back and front, I drove to milkshake's kubwa in the night to pick this babe, we hanged out in an eatery, ate and drank , and then I dropped her back at her house junction after she promised to see me again "before her birthday".. I know say that I'll see you again before my birthday na billing code for her birthday but it is well sha, na me go find babe๐Ÿ˜‚,. Na so I go come dey ask ask how far, she go dey tell me say she busy, i go remind am say her birthday don close oh, she go dey laff,. I deu look the weren't, e be like say this one think say she no go fit create time for me but go dey expect birthday"show of love"... Iffa hear, from one week to the birthday me sec begin dey chat am up, till one week after the birthday, I come chat am up, aunty no dey reply my chat again ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
    You break your promise without deeming it fit to apologize.. you come dey give me silent treatment hoping I apologize for not wishing you happy birthday and probably make up for it.. O wrong nah๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฝ

    Another one, a colleague oh, but she no too get sense.. someone that's in her 30s but still behaviour like a teenager, she messed up, I come put am on check, since then she begin carry face, even though I acted like a S!MP by telling her sorry after putting her on check, just for peace sakes, she still dey mumu herself, I go send am message, she go read no reply, I no mind, I still dey send am, she go dey read and ignore.. her birthday is coming soon,. Na my turn to do back..
    First to do e no dey pain๐Ÿ˜

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Petty childish talk and behaviour plus classless hungry street girls on street mode are your area of specialization
      Small class you showed that is the behaviour of normal people of saying sorry like normal person you talk say na simp

      E clear say no good male adult role models as you dey grow or na survival you take grow not love or person traumatize you so na overcompensating "fake hardguy" be your way

      Delete
  22. You cannot force someone to love you. Only her knows why she doesn't like you. You have tried pleasing her with what you wrote,just be yourself, don't force it ,withdraw gradually if she is taking it for granted for your own mental health sake. If she sees you no longer care so much as you used to, she might adjust.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even with adjustment, poster mind your business and face front

      Respect from far
      You cannot make her like you

      Delete
  23. This is similar to my story except I wouldn’t do all these crazy stuff just for anyone to love me.. she doesn’t love your husband that’s why she doesn’t love you

    ReplyDelete
  24. Poster please start acting like she does not exist. As for family functions, go there, do what you are supposed to do for them and go back to your house simple.
    Maybe when she realizes that you don't care anymore, na she go dey find your face this time.
    Never ever beg for love, it doesn't end well!

    ReplyDelete
  25. madam don't stress yourself cos you want her t love or like you, just face front and stop all the eye service you have been doing with that woman.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Pls rest you can't force someone to love you. If you have exhausted all options, then give her space. Stop calling, stop the gifts. No b even she born your husband so why are you all worked up?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Is the woman there when God created you or na she created you?. Madam delete her no , and face front out of sight is out of mind.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Madam poster, better face your front.

    Imagine, what can I do to make her like me?? ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„
    Is that how love sick and needy you are?? Don't you have your own mother? Sister? Aunty? Neighbour etc...

    Work on your self worth and esteem please. Love and likeness is not by force.

    Receive sense in Jesus name.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chika(hello iya boys)6 November 2023 at 20:32

      Nah you they give yourself headache ooo
      Person no like you abeg leave am jare
      Step mother in law for that matter...
      Nne face your husband and your kids ..

      Delete
    2. As in ehh it's so sickening if na her own mama I go understand sef

      Delete
  29. Can you please stop worrying over this and push the thought away.you can not force anyone to love you.
    you can still render help to her.But please do not let her attitude affect you in any way.

    ReplyDelete
  30. She is your husband's step mother, not his mother.... Bottom line is: she doesn't like your husband but pretends about it, so she doesn't like you either.
    Hell, she's not even his real mother... Abeg ignore her. That's how 90% of step mom's are, fake love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lady T /worth more than a thousand dollars6 November 2023 at 18:30

      @Blackberry, 90% is way too much. We have a lot of good step Mums' and we never hear about them.
      I'm a step Mum and I love my girls to the Moon and back. Many people who don't know our story don't know I'm not their Mum.

      Its women who don't know, that give step Mums a bad name.

      Sdk is very right though. Do your bit and love yourself. Stop seeking for validation or love.

      Do you have a Mum.? Why are you seeking for your step Mum's love? Ask yourself? And be honest, that will help you recognize your relationship with her.

      Delete
  31. When you enter a new home, not everyone would like you. Learn to deal with it. I have one sister-in-law that has made me understand on several occasions that she doesn't like me. I cut her off sharply. No time. I'm friends with my other in-laws. It is what it is

    ReplyDelete
  32. This one is just wasting her time and money.who no like u,no like you!mind your business from now.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hello Poster! is your father in law still alive? if yes, then I don't know where the hatred is from. However, I will leave this here. I used to have a boyfriend who has a step-mum, when the father died, the woman was willed to this my boyfriend (in Yoruba, they call it su l'opo-more like betrothment thing, which means my boyfriend should be looking after her and take care of her ). Though my boyfriend's mum was still alive, the step mum was expecting my boyfriend to be gbenshin her, and every girlfriend that ever go home with this guy will meet same hostility from the step mum. She sees every lady that comes to the house as a rival. The guy was unable to marry until he was almost 45 and the step mum died o. I know that woman wasn't doing whatever she was doing without some juju garnishing. The guy was resolute to never sleep with her, and it took her death for the guy to get married. So, if your father in law is late and the woman was bethrothed to your husband, there might be other room performance she is expecting from your husband oo, and you can never please her as long as she is alive and your husband is not doing those oza room duties. So, I will advise you face front and be prayerful...

    ReplyDelete
  34. No matter wat she did d hatred will continue more n more

    ReplyDelete
  35. Biko you need get mama , toru sisters nko or brothers or even neighbors, you see in this life do the one you can and leave the rest to God as far as you re on your lane ,is your husband complaining she is a step mum so why do you want to die pleasing her ,na wa for you is it by force I don't like when pple are assertive , you as a daughter in law have dignity if you don't accord it to yourself nobody will.
    You re in a family where your husband is not complaining and you re worried about step mum recruiting soliders of hate against you , my dear as far you re not guilty of any thing sleep in peace and joyfully be on your lane
    Abeg fashy am na you dey look her face o

    ReplyDelete
  36. I love Bvs ,I love their advice poster if you like don't respect yourself and have some dignity , you dey show mumu love she no value ,person no love your husband you re going extra for her step mum in law for that matter, na you sabi o oshey love finder.
    It's paining me that you still want to die for her matter as in solution to what will make her love you na wa if your husband come dey do like this that means you ll kill yourself abeggy

    ReplyDelete
  37. Poster, you are your own problem. There is more to this story. Do you want to force someone to like you? You are a prisoner to her, stop this and enjoy your freedom in Jesus Name. What’s all these?

    ReplyDelete
  38. It’s not just mental health issues you have serious mental problems go seek for professional help can you imagine!!! Step mother in law is giving you sleepless nights

    ReplyDelete
  39. Poster it's like the woman has some dirt's on you you don't want her to expose cos what is this ,going extra to please step mum in law,your husband complain family wey marriage carry you enter ,you want to overdo people wey dey ground before you ,asking for my husband to sponsor his son to another school like what the hell for someone that doesn't deserve it you need help

    ReplyDelete
  40. Poster if I'm your mum or sister and I catch you doing this stupid thing I will so lambast you that you ll receive sense by force , it's like you re worshipping her what even made you to go this extra even her married daughters o gini ,kilonshele I bu ewu are you a goat that doesn't know when she is wanted.
    It's because you don't respect and stay on your lane like mind your business for God's sake ,biko transfer all these love to me I need Christmas hamper and goodies,are you not loved at home? Does your mum not love you ? What of your siblings like you want to go the ends of the earth to please her I'm sorry for you some eye service dey pepper body it's because of these things you re doing that the woman no send you, let me tell you what she will be doing of you re passing she will use sign s ie people heads up say like you re coming she will wrinkle her nose at them and say , see that mumu she don dey come
    Receive sense and face your marriage mtcheww

    ReplyDelete
  41. Poster you made her feel so powerful by wanting her attention and love by force

    Only GOD deserves worship , not any creature
    Go and work on your self esteem
    Pray HARD against manipulation gangup

    Mind your business politely going forward , be respectful from a distance
    Face your children ,

    ReplyDelete
  42. Poster you made her feel so powerful by wanting her attention and love by force

    Only GOD deserves worship , not any creature
    Go and work on your self esteem
    Pray HARD against manipulation gangup

    Mind your business politely going forward , be respectful from a distance
    Face your children ,

    ReplyDelete

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