REACTIONS OF AN ABDUCTEE
Am I being self centered? I was kidnapped and how I got out was by the Grace of God.none of my in-laws even called to check up on me so since then I just blanked them out of my mind.
These are people I still call once in a while to check on them the thing shock me.
Nothing like self centredness.......If they didnt call to check up on you when you broke free from your kidnappers then they dont care about you. Dont feel guilty for blanking them....
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NARRATIVE TWO
Nothing like self centredness.......If they didnt call to check up on you when you broke free from your kidnappers then they dont care about you. Dont feel guilty for blanking them....
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NARRATIVE TWO
COLD FEET
Stella, I just need to let something off my chest. Can someone be in a relationship and just when the guy starts talking about taking it to the next stage, you start feeling somehow? You start asking yourself if you are taking the right decision?. Has it happened to anyone here?
You feel this way because you know you dont this person.......When a woman loves a man, she even overlooks red flags just to be with him....Your mind is not in the relationship and i advice you not to do it unless you know why you want to do it and ready to bear the consequences.....Good luck
Poster 1, blank them forever, they don't care about you, they don't care about their sibling who you are married to.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, what Stella said is true. If you love him you will find a way yo ignore the most glaring red flag.
Go ahead with the marriage if you are not ready to wait for the one you will love, if you have other important things to gian, like connection, money, status, etc
And be ready to damn the consequences
The lowered abi sunken, you should be ashamed of yourself truly for the 2nd part of your advise for #2. Na your type dem treat like animal for marriage and you will be deserving of it. My dear with this your mindset there is no lifting for you anytime soon.
DeletePoster 1, they do not care about you. Keep distancing urself from family that do not show any iota of care towards you. Sorry about ur kidnap experience, affliction shall not rise again.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, it’s probably because you have seen the red flags and deep down you know you shouldn’t marry him or it’s also because you settled for him because ur spec or desire was not forthcoming
Even if you are dead God forbids they won't miss you so leave them alone for number 2;no need to start what you don't like
ReplyDeleteSorry it better to leave than to regret later
ReplyDeleteHow unfeeling can people be? They obviously don't care about you so you are very right to not care about any of them either.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, keep your distance hence forth.
ReplyDeleteChronicle 2
ReplyDeleteMarriage is now transactional? When some men treat it that way and expect women they raised from "nothing" to always bend for or to them, why so many shouts in the public space from women? Why would a woman marry only because of the things to gain?
A man was married to the abroad by a woman. He started covering his wife's face to sleep with her. And he divorced her exactly two years as allowed by the law. He came back to marry a woman to the Abroad using the papers he got by his marriage to the first wife. What was the man called here?
Poster 1- please block them off
ReplyDeletePoster 2 - depends on what causes it, if it's red flag, communicate your fears but if they are unrealistic expectations it's probably from your society expectations/peer pressure (which re sometimes normal) you just have to subdue them and move on.
Different people gets married for different reasons, each reasons have can leads to been positive nor negative.
Poster 2 don't let fear stop you from getting married okay it stopped me from a lot of relationships before I got help from a shrink and had the courage to marry my hubby. Cheers to your upcoming wedding please invite me.💋💋💋
ReplyDeleteNaija girls and their ability to want to appear woke sha! Lol!
Delete17:02
DeleteYou are obviously one with low self esteem who can never relate to the ordinary things of life thus the above statement seems 'woke' to you.
Lmao,improve your life standards and stop disgracing yourself online.
Does your husband know you needed courage and to see a shrink to marry him? Wokeness indeed.
DeleteYou did the right thing
DeleteGod bless your marriage
20:38
DeleteShe needed counselling to overcome her fear of marriage, it wasn't about the man in particular.
Perhaps she had a traumatic childhood, etc..
Think.
Some of y'all are so dull, its appalling.
Brain like a rubber knife.
20:38
DeleteStop displaying your ignorance in the public
Poster 1
ReplyDelete"I was kidnapped and how I got out was by the Grace of God"
Did you escape? Was ransom paid at all? The questions may be awkward. But just to clear that they were absolutely not in any way involved in your release and are even expecting you to show them gratitude as you are expecting them to show sympathy or celebration on your release.
And
What was your relationship with them before your ordeal - cordial, fresh, strained, stale, or non-existent.
What is the state of your partner's relationship with your partner's siblings - good or bad. In some polygamous setting, if applicable to you, some in-laws do not know what goes on in their half siblings' lives and or do not involve in it even if they know unless called to be involved.
Good you made your post gender neutral. You are more likely to get sincere advice. Sorry about your ordeal. Best wishes
Are you sure your in-laws didn't plan your kidnap? How insensitive can some people be?
ReplyDeleteGive them much gap, they didn't like you, even if you are Dead, they won't care
ReplyDeletePoster 1
DeleteIf you are sure they knew you were abducted, blank them
2nd poster, I don't think u don't love ur man, I feel u are just scared to lose ur freedom to marriage, it's happened to me to, I started having doubt, feeling scared, start to question my decision.. If I'm making the right choice, what if he changes became evil to me, or even why I ever need to get married..
ReplyDeleteLast last, I just made up mind by saying, I will put in my all to make the marriage work and if it doesn't.. Life goes on and I will be fine..
So if u like him enough to marry him please do, the feelings will go away with time.
Leave all these frustrated women
ReplyDeletePoster 2: If you love him and there are no red flags or things you think you can't cope with, just take some time away from him or people that can influence your decision. During this time, think deeply or pray. God might be telling you deep things that are deeper than what you can think. If you pray, ask God to reveal what your ordinary eyes cannot see. It could also be the fear of future or marriage caused by things you see or hear. I was scared of getting married even at 30/31 because of my family and things happening around me including my church. I took a decision and we did our 25th WA this year. Just have a strong conviction that can help during storms/trials
ReplyDeletePoster 1, If you are sure your in-laws contributed nothing to your release, yet didn't check up on you when you escaped, your cutting them off is justified.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, most times when we have to take life changing decisions, we usually develop cold feet. Pray over this, and if that nagging feeling of doubt persist, abort mission. Obviously there is something deficient about or in the relationship.
Poster one, I am so glad that you are here and able to share your story. Even for the sake of pretense, most normal people would check in on you, even mere acquaintances. That your in-laws did not take one moment to call or visit you is highly irregular. These are not loving ppl, even fake ones. Perhaps the entire ordeal happened so you would know the truth of who they are. I beg you continue to stay your side and focus on your own family. Also, do not speak their names or think about them.
ReplyDeletePoster two, getting cold feet and second guessing is a normal reaction to a marriage proposal for many ppl. Marriage is a huge commitment and it is a lifetime commitment, and has a sense of finality about it. So yes, getting cold feet is normal because some folks get overwhelmed by that sense of finality, especially if they feel there is something they wanted to experience on their own before marriage and now feel like they won’t be able to do if they say yes. For example, if you had set in your mind to complete your master’s degree before getting married and you have not that could create a disturbance in you because the goal you set for yourself is now not going to happen in the way you planned things to go.
You are right
DeleteMany people in roof marriages second guessed
We can’t give good advice without knowing the cause of your cold feet. Are you worried that he isn’t your spec or doesn’t treat you right?
Try to detach yourself from this people,i don't think they care about you.
ReplyDeleteposter 2..if you are feeling somehow already when they are talking about taking it to the next level.Maybe your mind is not ready yet.
I swear you dey cool, I beg block them for life. They don't care if you die or not .
ReplyDeletePoster 1, blanking them is very valid..you don't need such in your life
ReplyDelete