My friend asked his wife to quit her bank job and join him in his business but she refused.
I advised him to tell her to draft a written agreement whereby she gets paid double of her salary every month, she still refused. I have told him to speak to her parents.
In terms of business, I admire the Igbos for one thing among many other things. If the husband is into business, the wife is taught the ropes of that business and she becomes involved in that business. She is mostly in charge of finance, receiving payments from customers.
Sometimes, she sells something else that goes together with what her husband sells and her own shop is right beside her husband's own.
Sometimes, she sells something else that goes together with what her husband sells and her own shop is right beside her husband's own.
If anything happens to her husband, she keeps managing the business in his absence (if she doesn't have greedy and wicked inlaws).
This system prevents or reduces embezzlement by workers or apprentices.
It fosters bonding and unity between husband and wife.
All the above makes room for rapid growth and expansion of business.
I admire this a lot.
I noticed that trust is a key factor in this arrangement.
If you don't trust your wife, you won't let her come near your business.
I also noticed that the woman has to show herself worthy of being in the system. She must not be lazy, she must be smart and intelligent to be able to handle it.
As much as this system is great, one must be very wise while at it.
As a woman, if this is the case with you, have your own separate bank account with which you receive your salary every month. Let there be a signed agreement to this effect.
Don't listen to talks like "if you need anything, tell me, we are one, we own this business together". Get paid and make sure you have savings too.
I have seen many women in that type of setting who were left empty-handed after a divorce or passing of the husband.
However, if you can't do it, it's still fine, do what works for you in your marriage.
I hope my friend and his wife reach an agreement, if not, God will help them.
Your friends wife knows the kind of person he is. She can't take him at his word. It is not that she is refusing because she wants to remain with the bank. She is refusing because he lacks fidelity between words and actions. The kind of man who will weaponise her depending on him for her earnings against her. His offer doesn't pass the smell test obviously.
ReplyDeleteBesides was her quitting her bank job something they discussed and she agreed to before marriage? If not, your friend can go pound sand.
Exactly
DeleteExactly what came to mind
DeleteI think I'm about to faint. I find myself agreeing with Doggedity. Poster, your friend may have shown his wife premium shege in the past. A written agreement makes little difference if it cannot be enforced. The bible says it's better to eat dry crust of bread in peace than to feast in a house filled with strife. Your friend needs to check himself.
DeleteI don't blame her, she knows her husband more than anyone else and will have her valid reasons for refusing his offer. God help them to be able to reach an amicable compromise of what works for them.
ReplyDeleteMtsheeeeew!
ReplyDeleteSmart woman.
ReplyDeleteDon't put all your eggs in one basket.
Your friend is wrong ,Stella.
Onitsha Main market is filled with people who think differently. Not everyone wants to grapple with that.
I can't stand them for 1 second. They know me so they dont even try.
Even if it is not a case of her knowing her husband, please is it by force? She should leave her banking job only if she is interested. Some people are not even good when it comes to doing business and can only thrive in an office job.
ReplyDeleteHis wife went to the university to study banking not business of selling goods. Any man who wants his wife to join his business should marry from his hometown a secondary school leaver or someone whose line of business fits into what he does not you trying to force a grown person to do what they don't want to do.
If she eventually decides to leave her job, the written agreement you told him to write he would fling it aside after a few months and stop paying her. He can never keep up. He would see it as her being greedy and wanting to be paid for helping the family. These are the kind of things that can make an oyinbo person to file for divorce and cite irreconcilable difference. They just don't like nonsense.
Well, she understands her husband more than you or us
ReplyDeleteMarriage in this part of our world is funny. There's no consideration for her purpose as a being or what she loves doing.
ReplyDeleteA man can decide to change the trajectory of his wife career at any time not considering their decisions before marriage.
Must every female dream dies at the alter of marriage, not all women love business and that's fine, some just want to flourish in their chosen career and this should not be underplay
My fear is your friend's wife will be seen as disobedient and not submissive if she doesn't join him and the marriage might not remain the same
Felicity
Marriage is not by force, but by choice. Apparently, it is more beneficial to the women this side of the world than they are ever willing to admit.
DeleteThe typical married woman in Nigeria flog single men and women the most with her "Mrs. Husband whip".
Nobody is asking the wife the real reason for her refusal.
ReplyDeleteEven if she has no reason, he actually has no right to tell her to do that! Whether we like it or not, not everyone wants to do business
DeleteIt amazes me how some men think it’s ok to ruin their wives careers to enable them assist the husbands to build theirs.
ReplyDeleteWhat stopped them from marrying fellow traders or business women in the first place.
Awon dream killers.
This is the comment of the day
DeleteThis is a common practice here.
ReplyDeleteIt works for majority.
She should not agree 💯
ReplyDeleteThe woman knows her husband best, at least she's working too.
ReplyDeleteWhen I just started reading I said left for me that I would not ask the woman to leave her job to join the husband's business until I got to the below
ReplyDeleteI have seen many women in that type of setting who were left empty-handed after a divorce or passing of the husband.
This above is the whole truth because the husband can at anytime after a quarrel ask the wife not to come to the shop & that's how it starts before he will tell her that it's his business & that the woman should remain at home or start her own business if she has the resources by then he has ruined her career.
From what I have witnessed in many cases of women who supported or joined their husbands in their businesses they are always left with nothing during conflict. Madam no gree except if a seasoned lawyer will draft the percentage of your share in the business & their be clause that you cannot be sent out of the business for a particular time. Just let the agreement be such that is enforceable.
The Most Complex B
Well written dear sis.
DeleteLet them get a lawyer to draft the last part of your comment. That is if she wants to join him.
It is not by force to resign and join him, she has her whole life in front of her too.
Business (partnership) agreements not on the tablet of the heart are almost valueless. They only assists in sharing remnants of the cake most times.
DeleteMake I no lie, I won't resign from job, He can't still teach her his business, if he wants to, but resign, mba Sir!
ReplyDeleteSome ppl like the security of being employed by a reputable company. On top of it, she may have worked very hard to get to where she is today and just asking someone to toss that all in may be too much. Folks have their own dreams and that should always be respected. His dream is success in business, hers may be success in the corporate world. They have to find a way to build a bridge.
ReplyDeleteThe man should let the woman be
ReplyDeleteWho are the directors of the business and what percentage do they hold?
ReplyDeleteWhat numbers is the business doing? How much debt and how much profit is being talked about?
Can a business that is not profitable honor contractual obligations to pay staff? Is the accounts section not duty bound to the business owner?
Can any staff prevent the employer from demoting or sacking him or her?
Just be playing.
I advise the wife not to consider taking any loan for this business and to leave the successful merchant to finance the running of the home. Anyone in a hurry to die should prepare a will and running a business can be taught on weekends.
Onibara n ba ole bo. Igi ewedu fe wo lule.