Hmmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SHOCKER
Good day. I'm writing this chronicle and I never thought I would be faced with the kind of heavy betrayal I was faced with especially from a man I called my husband... sorry *ex husband.
Good day. I'm writing this chronicle and I never thought I would be faced with the kind of heavy betrayal I was faced with especially from a man I called my husband... sorry *ex husband.
Not after the love, financial resources and everything this is what it came to be?.
This is my story........
This is my story........
I am a Nigerian woman living in the diaspora with a husband living in Nigeria. I work really hard abroad doing care jobs and send money back to him regularly.
Everything was going well except that we didn't have a child so we decided to do surrogacy because i had tried so many times and nothing was working.....My husband suggested surrogacy and even used actress Ini as example....
The process for it started and my husband searched for a surrogate in Nigeria. But the odd thing about the surrogate was that my husband never allowed me to communicate with her directly. Anytime I indicated interest and want to communicate with her he would come up with one excuse or the other. It continued like that and I was still sending him money.
I didn't think of fowl play because this was my husband and i trusted him blindly...he could do no wrong in my eyes.
Fortunately or unfortunately, my husband came down with stroke and I was really disturbed and concerned about his well being so I sent my family to the state he is residing in to know how he was doing.
Fortunately or unfortunately, my husband came down with stroke and I was really disturbed and concerned about his well being so I sent my family to the state he is residing in to know how he was doing.
I got the biggest shock of my life.....
My family informed me that they met a heavily pregnant lady living in the rented flat i paid for with my husband ...They investigated further and the lady told them that she is his girlfriend and he told her that he was divorced but his wife still loved him so much that she still wanted to help him cross over to the diaspora ....
I was told of his evil intentions as he was planning some sort of traditional wedding with her after the birth of their baby....
I am still healing but i have walked away from the scam of a marriage...I hear that people are saying that i dumped him because of the stroke...Am i supposed to stay and nurse him back to health to go and marry here?
I will get over this in anyway that i can but i will never trust any man again or allow myself to be used as a ladder with someone else..I will never love again....
He won in the end cos he ended up with a child despite his bad health conditions and I am still here, no man, no child and still working hard....
I forgot to add that no one can account for all the monies i was sending home.....
Those of you in the diaspora with spouses back home, should be sensitive to big stories and suspicious explanations, shine your eyes!
I dont know what to say to you, this is really really sad!...Please be strong my dear and you can start all over again!!!
Hugs
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you went through all that,
So sorry but find somewhere in your heart to forgive him
ReplyDeleteWow!may you be replenished poster.
ReplyDeleteDont listen to anyone who tries to blame you for how this ended,there are lots of possible positive outcomes,hoping true love finds you!
You go dey alright last last dear. Just be strong
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteChai! No advice from me....Please take sugar e-hugs 🫂🫂🫂 Take all your time to heal....The highest form of betrayal...Don't allow anyone to guilt trip you....
All the best....
It's sad and unfortunate but dont give up on having your own child if you want them. Try the surrogacy or adoption on your own. They will comfort you and take the pain away.
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you poster.
Just thank God you got to know on time,if he wasn't sick,how will know?..
ReplyDeleteYou will still be working hard and sending to him but God need you to see...
So get up, cry,be angry,be hurt,but RAISE,HEAL,AND BE HAPPY AGAIN,..LIFE HAPPENS..
You didn't die,so u will be fine dear..
Get a surrogate mother, have a child,date,there are still good men out there but don't love blindly again..
Love with possibilities of good and bad..you will be fine..
Karma has happened to him, it's not longer your fight, leave it for God..
Just follow Mrs Sharon's advice, you thought he won no he didn't, wait you will hear of him looking for how to plead with you, trust God for his vengeance and you will hear of his cry of pain. Trying to conceive alone it's painful enough to deal with yet he decided to swindle you, God f vengeance will fight for you.
DeleteBut anybody that buys a sieve, knows that it would pour out water. I wish you all the healing you need to move on and be happy again.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for what you went through, God will heal your heart and provide another man that will love you dearly.
ReplyDeleteYou are a good woman. May true love find you.
ReplyDeleteBe careful with the next man you meet. I used to spend on men but not anymore. I now concentrate on my welfare. Love will find you!
I am am above marriageable age but younger guys are all over me. I take care of my body. I look too young for my age, it's unbelievable!
Now that I am not interested in marriage they are flocking around me.
I am mindful of their intentions. I live well. Please put him aside . You have never married. Move on and true love will find you. Just keep and maintain yourself and trust in God . Good luck dear. It is well with you.
Poster, he is already living in his karma.
ReplyDeleteCry small and wipe your tears, pick up the pieces of your life and look forward to better days.
So Painful
ReplyDeleteSorry Nne
Hello iya Boys
Keep walking madam, keep walking. That man is evil and deserves nothing from you.
ReplyDeleteDon't bother about what people are saying about you, don't.
But how can you be on a surrogacy journey as not even be in the contact with the person? This is not about trust, it's about being aware.
I'm sure you know better now.
How would surrogacy have worked without you coming to Nigeria
ReplyDeleteIf you have the money, just come to Nigeria and do it with a willing participant, birth your child and move on
Pls stay where you are and do it there, monitor it under your supervision, but first give yourself time to heal, so you can have room for love for your child.
Delete@Anon 16:38
DeleteThe poster said she lives abroad.
Even though you mean well, your comment about her going through surrogacy where she is based, comes from a place of ignorance.
For starters, a lot of countries do not permit gestational surrogacy unless the person carrying the child/ren is a family member. This is to prevent an inbalance, or baby-trafficking circumstances.
With the countries that do allow surrogacy, the parents have to prepared to spend 5 to 6 digits for the entire process.
The agency charges a fee; the fertility clinic that will do the procedure will charge a fee; egg retrival and storage comes at a cost; legal costs for the contract. Then there is the surrogate's fee; her accommodation costs; her medical insurance and hospital bills. You will need to pay her for missed work resulting from the pregnancy. Once the baby is born, a family lawyer will take you through the process of adopting the baby, since the birth mother is different from the biological mother.
E-hugs to you Poster.Don't allow people guilt trip you,now is the best time to dump him,let his Oliaku nurse him.May you find someone who truly deserves you.
ReplyDeleteReading through the comments, it is easy to point fingers at the man in this story, but sometimes we need to pause and ask what if you were in his shoes? Society is quick to judge men harshly but forget that they have emotions and needs too.
ReplyDeleteImagine being married for years, praying for a child, and facing the reality that it might never happen. Your wife is abroad, working hard, and you're back home in Nigeria. You both agree to try surrogacy, hoping it will finally bring the joy of parenthood. But somewhere along the way, things change. The child doesn’t come through surrogacy, but through another woman.
In the olden days, and even in Bible stories like Abraham and Jacob, when a woman couldn’t conceive, she sometimes allowed her husband to father children through another woman. It wasn’t seen as betrayal. It was seen as a way to preserve family.
Now, this doesn’t excuse the man’s dishonesty. He should have been truthful. But let’s be honest, if he had told his wife he wanted to have a child with someone else, would she have agreed? She would rather they remain childless.
His choices weren’t perfect. He hurt her deeply. But maybe, it came from desperation and not wickedness.
My dear it does not matter if you think he won cuz he has a child and misappropriated your monies. Never say never. He is already receiving punishment for his evil actions.Be positive, pray and try again. God makes all things beautiful in his time.
ReplyDeletePoster, it's well with you, please don't give up on love because of one man.
ReplyDeleteI have questions, because your chronicle has holes!
ReplyDeleteFrom the little you've shared, it doesn't sound like you come home to Nigeria, and your husband clearly doesn't come to visit you.
How have you been trying to have a baby, when the 2 of you live in separate continents?
How are you able to have a legit surrogacy journey, without you being in Nigeria?
Aren't agencies the one that pair surrogates with intending parents? If you were going about this "journey" correctly, it would be the agency/fertility clinic that will put you in touch with the lady, and act as an intermediary. Not your husband (now ex)!
You said your husband had to be the one to convince you to go through surrogacy, so it's safe to say that, you didn't do egg retrival in Nigeria before moving abroad.
Without you being in Nigeria, and without your genetic contribution, how was a woman supposed to get pregnant with your biological child?
Had everything gone as planned, what kind of family dynamic were you and your husband hoping for? You would still stay abroad, whilst your husband raised the child alone?
I have questions, because your chronicle has holes!
ReplyDeleteFrom the little you've shared, it doesn't sound like you come home to Nigeria, and your husband clearly doesn't come to visit you.
How have you been trying to have a baby, when the 2 of you live in separate continents?
How are you able to have a legit surrogacy journey, without you being in Nigeria?
Aren't agencies the one that pair surrogates with intending parents? If you were going about this "journey" correctly, it would be the agency/fertility clinic that will put you in touch with the lady, and act as an intermediary. Not your husband (now ex)!
You said your husband had to be the one to convince you to go through surrogacy, so it's safe to say that, you didn't do egg retrival in Nigeria before moving abroad.
Without you being in Nigeria, and without your genetic contribution, how was a woman supposed to get pregnant with your biological child?
Had everything gone as planned, what kind of family dynamic were you and your husband hoping for? You would still stay abroad, whilst your husband raised the child alone?
They are not ready for that discussion. It’s a woman that wrote in. Remember that!
DeleteVirtual hug Madam
ReplyDeleteThis is the comment I was looking for. Does it means that a lot of commentators do not know the meaning of surrogacy?
Deleteso sorry about all you went through but please do not shut the door to love, someday love will find you. Please do whatever your heart tells you with your else, no one should tell you how to heal better than yourself. Do not allow anyone talk you into any rubbish attitude.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your husband was trying to play the lady before nature played him a fast one. Maybe he is not the reall father of the unborn child and may also have no intentions to marry her.
ReplyDeleteKai..sorry dear...this is betrayal
ReplyDelete