Hmmmmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRIAGE BLUES
But my husband was still still angry cos I didn't make the food to give them.
My stomach was paining me after pounding and I couldn't even eat the food but he bothered that I couldn't give the neighbor . Even with a live-out help, he would never allow anyone help me out with making his food, no matter my condition.
I'm experiencing certain things in marriage and I'm not used to such oo, from my first baby to the second, I do all things like house work myself but I've been keeping calm to know if this is how I'll continue.
I remember when my first pregnancy was around 7months already, hubby asked I make pounded yam, he was inside and after cooking the soup and boiling the yam, I had to pound it, after pounding he asked whether I didn't make for my neighbor who came visiting and I said no, he got mad at me and said he's not eating again, even after I tried explaining that I couldn't pound further cus we had some children living with us then and I pounded for all of us except the neighbor who came visiting and it was like a brief visit.But my husband was still still angry cos I didn't make the food to give them.
My stomach was paining me after pounding and I couldn't even eat the food but he bothered that I couldn't give the neighbor . Even with a live-out help, he would never allow anyone help me out with making his food, no matter my condition.
Hmmmm this is really sad... It is how you make your bed that you will lie on it...You have mind agreeing to pound yam with pregnancy, you are lucky you didnt hurt the baby.....
If something is not good for you, say it and damn the consequences than risk your life for a man that will move on quickly and remarry after you die...
Why couldn't he pound the yam or get someone to pound for you?
Next time stand up for yourself, that is why you have a mouth!
PS- It will continue like this until you sit him down and ask him to be your helper in the marriage...helper not master!!
Mmmmmm pound yam at 7 months? You tried o. Your husband is insensitive. Like Stella said pls speak up and stand up for yourself this is unfair
ReplyDeleteExit this victimhood and stand up for yourself. If you cannot advocate for yourself, what do you want us to do. People you always treat you to the extend that you permit. Set strong boundaries abeg
DeleteMadam, the thing you cannot continue pls don't start it.
DeleteSorry to ask....Is your husband an invalid? Are his hands & legs paining him? If no, why allow yourself be treated this way 😣
It's what you allow that continues o.
P.S. Sorry about the pounded yam, your hubby is not nice.
Why did you agree to pound the yam with pregnancy in the first place? don't start what you can't finish..
ReplyDeleteTell him you can't pound with pregnancy or that you are tired naw,let him do his worse,are you not someone's child too?
Are u scared of him or what?
I don't understand the kind of marriage some of you are into..
If he gets angry,will he die?
Why will you pound for the rest of the family and not for Ur visitor?..
Madam stand your ground,do your best and leave the rest..don't kill yourself for anybody.
Unless you never dated this man, it’s hard to believe you didn’t notice this trait earlier. Being in love can cloud judgment, but personal choices come with consequences, and we all have to take responsibility for them.
ReplyDeletePounding yam while 7 months pregnant? Poster why risk your health and that of the baby for something that can be substituted?
ReplyDeletePlease talk to your husband about how you feel; or you can send him the link to this your chronicle so that he sees your write-up and comments by bvs, that will enable him understand how you really feel. He may not actually understand how you feel, especially during pregnancy, some men don't know these things.
Please stop punishing yourself unnecessarily as it will not benefit you or anyone.
The impracticality and rigidness of some folks that they cannot adjust to changes. Must he eat pounded yam, can he not eat boiled slices. He is probably one of those who expects his wife to be a workhorse in the home. You said that you have live-out help, perhaps you have to utilize that better to get the best out of it. Women, I beg you to do better vetting before accepting anyone's marriage offer, use the courtship period as the study period, go to school and learn who this person is, see them in different situations to determine if they are truly for you, ask for divine guidance before saying yes no matter how desperate you are. A woman should be petted and treated as delicate as an egg when she is pregnant, I don't know what this kind of behaviour is.
ReplyDeleteI honestly do not know how to inform your further, maybe those who have been on this road can tell you better. Pray to God who is the great deliverer of all oppression.
You wouldve pound him too wicked man
ReplyDeleteThe poster is a wicked person, so you prefer to kill your baby at 7 months to please a grown up man-baby who would rather please a neighbor than see that his wife and baby are stressed. Anyway, you have allowed him to be a master because you wanted to be married and now, even with a live out help he still prefers you to slave to please him.
DeleteGood luck to you and trying to commit murder to please the mofo that won’t be pleased.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 haaa
DeleteMe I don't joke with myself, I hate pounding not to talk of pounding yam, that's why I usually make myself very clear at the beginning that I hate it ..my sister you better sit him down and make him understand..
ReplyDeleteDivorce him ASAP.
ReplyDeleteHe is very wicked and mean-spirited.
ReplyDeleteHaba!!! You should pound yam????
Where do some of you see these kind of men to marry sef? Any man who insists that a 7 months pregnant woman pound yam is a beast. And the useless neighbour too sat down to be served? Your husband was even picking offence?
ReplyDeleteWhy will an able bodied man sit and watch his pregnant wife pound yam? Even if she isn't pregnant why should a woman pound yam in a home a man is in?
OP e don be for you o. Cos dis kind pikin wey you marry think say na husband so.
I don’t think he insisted
DeleteHe asked and she agreed
She seems okay with pounding for all except that one visitor
E no tire you? Imagine.
DeleteGrowing up, na my Papa dey pound yam in my house. I only learnt how to pound yam in school....
It us well with you dear poster. I hope you are not planning to add another child in this kind of marriage where it seems as if you have no voice. Is your husband an elderly man , I mean someone who is very much older than you such that you cannot speak to him? I don't know what to say but I hope this thing you call marriage end well. Are you a sit at home full time housewife? May be you are and the man is the breadwinner, if that is your case madam, sit up and go get something doing. This matter sef taya me. Let me just stop here.
ReplyDeleteCan never be me
ReplyDeleteRegardless of the circumstance
I dont even havr a mortar neither do I have any cell in me that prioritizes a man to my detriment.
Taaaaa
God forbid
As in , in your condition he beefed you because of neighbors
What do you people marry?
Hmmm
Well done
Madam cooking and excluding a guest is a no no
ReplyDeleteThat’s embarrassing to your husband and to you as a host
You should have asked the guest if he’ll be staying for dinner
If you couldn’t pound for everyone then say that and offer to make eba instead or ask your man if he will pound
How you cook for all except this one person seems like you used the guest to pass a message to your husband and that’s not fair
P.S I agree your husband is a bit of an a*s
I like you Sha..but u dey craze
DeleteValid but seriosly, u dey do like bulb wey don get connection issue...lol....But why will a man ask his 7months gone wife to pound yam
DeleteDon't sit him down and ask him to be your helper o..
ReplyDeleteThis is like this because he handles all the financial responsibilities in the house and you also don't help him with anything (even if maybe you work).. so as you no gree help am, him sef no won help you with anything too..
Cos that's the only thing I can see behind this wickedness..
You guys need to talk and make compromises.. the compromise has to be both ways
Cos I'm thinking, what will make me do this to my pregnant wife, and the only reason I can think of is if she saw me very broke and she had money but was still disturbing me for money for stuff saying it's my responsibility and a man who can't feed is home is worst than an infidel.. omo, I will never help her in the home front too no matter what so she'll understand who it feels..
DeleteMay God not let us marry rubbish sha..
Please jump and pass my comment if you no like am, if you insist on commenting rubbish, you go suffer pass wetin this woman suffer
This story made me feel sad for you, poster.
ReplyDeleteYou have to ask fo help when you need it. Speak up , please. Claiming to be a strong woman has helped no one.
Theres's absolutely no reward for it.
Wetin be this one? 😡. You people are really trying getting married to men without CONSCIENCE. If I feel as little as a headache, I don go sleep o and if hubby is hungry, he prepares his food himself. You're hear saying you pounded yam @7 months pregnancy
ReplyDeleteWeldon o. Don't worry you'll be awarded the most hardworking married pregnant woman 🥱
Kikikikikikikiki, poster, it's well with you.
Delete***here
DeleteStella has said it all, he is your HELPER not MASTER haba
ReplyDeleteI dont know who train all these wicked MEN abi na them just wicked like devil
When you show a wicked man that you are very hardworking this becomes the result. Mine knows that I am very lazy therefore he should not expect much. I can pound yam for him but not when I am pregnant.
ReplyDelete@Poster, that wasn’t good for your health at all. Whether or not he is the sole provider does not excuse this kind of wickedness. My advice: get a Ninja blender for your yam. We eat pounded yam in my house every Sunday, and that Ninja blender is what I use.
ReplyDeletePlease prioritize your health above everything else, look for ways to make life easier, and speak up for yourself.
Ire o!
I don't want to be insensitive, but I don't feel for women who find themselves in this situation. You didn't marry at gun point. Na your clear eyes you take choose the man yourself. Where you expecting him to change? Na wetin person chop, he dey vomit. You can't swallow fufu and throw up Ribena. Just carry your cross ma. The signs have always been there from onset. Women nor just dey hear word. Your gender is hardly logical and this isn't a flex.
ReplyDeleteWere***
DeleteUna Dey pound yam for man. Wow.
ReplyDeleteSince you endured this, this long, it's gonna be hard changing it. But for you to live a healthy, long and happy life, you have to put your feet down. It will offcource cause alot of issues, maybe sending you packing and the likes, but do not succumb.
ReplyDeleteThat's the only way to change your situation
Na ur husband please talk to him. Cos this wickness and crazy
ReplyDeleteNa ur husband please talk to him. Cos this wickness and crazy
ReplyDeleteHonestly, when i read some things, i just wonder. Even if the man is wicked and insensitive, can't you as a woman speak up and reject some things? Abi which kain men una dey marry wey you no fit speak with? If you're up to some things, fine, go ahead and do them. But anything that's obviously inconvenient and detrimental to you abeg speak up and reject it.
ReplyDeleteI don’t even understand my gender sometimes, why in God’s name will you pound yam to please your husband God for bid I risk my life and yet he his still complaining, I don’t even have mortal in my house and it is deliberate. If you know your husband won’t help you in pounding please don’t buy odo not talk of pounding
DeleteNever you start what you can't finish. You could have told him initially that you are not strong enough for that. Since you finally made the food, you would have shared it in smaller portions so it would get to your visitor.
ReplyDeleteI remember when my cousins husband tried to test her with this bounding yam of a thing, if you see the way she objected eh, since then he has never tried it again.
This is just selfishness. Madam, go and buy inexpensive yam pounder ooo. This isn't funny to read abeg
ReplyDeleteThings as this happens where the Man is the Alpha Omega of the house. Just like Dante rightly said. The Man sees himself as the provider and may be you as a 'liability' na such wicked Men go fit get mind like dat. This used to be Me 'that time' Marriage wey turn person to ...
ReplyDeletePoster if you dont stamp your feet now, this will continue till...
Speak up now !!!
no be small thing, all in the name of being a submissive wife plus you want to answer respectful wife. You encouraged him to use you like a slave and he is doing that perfectly well, continue to tolerate rubbish character all in the name of wife material okay. He will sit there doing nothing but will dish out instructions on a pregnant woman plus adding you did not pound yam for his friend that came around lol.
ReplyDeleteSome women are encouraging rubbish
, what happened to buying pounded yam machine since he love yam and will not pound it? you better teach yourself how to speak up for yourself before you die and he will marry someone else in three months time. I hope you are not a full house wife, hope you have something doing and you are also giving your contributions? if you don't have source of income, please get something doing.
OP I don't know if you will see this but please detach emotionally from this man. He is controlling and very manipulative and he does not care about you or his child. He does not love you. Remove your mind completely and face front. If he yells or complains, be calm and tell him in no uncertain terms that you would only do things that ensure your safety and the safety of the child in your womb. He is cruel. Stand up for yourself firmly and tell him that since he will not take care of you, you will take care of yourself and your children and stop trying to please or appease him in any way. He doesn't deserve it.
ReplyDelete