NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE
We have this new couple who are my neighbors, we are a bit close but I dislike the situation they are currently in...
For more than a year after marriage, they are still paying loan that their last brother collected for wedding and the funniest thing is that the wife is heavily pregnant and has met all the women in the compound to contribute baby things for them, since they can't afford to buy because of the loan.
On my part, with what I've witnessed this couple go through, I've stylishly told my girlfriend that I will be ready for marriage when I am able to feed three people without bothering anyone but it seems she's not getting it and doesn't mind taking a risk with me.
I'm looking for ways to be more open to her before this year ends.And if she finds that offensive, there are many sharks in the river. I will rather lose love, I cannot be an irresponsible man.
LOL....Seeing what you have seen has scared you from Marriage.....
Why dont you just break up with her so that she can move on if she is desperate to marry?
Oga just tell her you are not ready for marriage or you don't want to marry her. How will you judge another person's marriage with yours.
ReplyDeleteStop wasting her time
Tell her to go and don't waste her time or the thunder that will fire you will start doing press up. Calling women sharks shows you have a problem with women generally. Adjust your attitude so that when you are ready to settle down, you don't attract a shark to yourself.
DeleteThe earlier the better for both of you, to avoid stories that tickles the bum.
ReplyDeleteBro,Lack of finances would scatter your marriage faster than "Lack of Love".
ReplyDeleteDon't listen to anyone about entering the marriage first and that God would provide.
Yes God would provide,but first what can you provide on earth for your family before God comes through for you?
Caesaren section is not cheap!
Virginal delivery is not cheap!
Feeding a child and a wife,paying house rent yearly until you can afford to build yours,school fees and all is not cheap!
Marriage doesn't work on vibes;let's see how it goes? No!!
After God,you need money(stable source of income) to train a child.such that give or take,you can feed your child and your wife comfortably.
clothing is not cheap,child health for the next 18 years is not cheap;if you don't have anything tangible you are doing at the moment,it's better you build yourself up now and marry late later.
Lastly,Don't opt for a Baby Mama either,you would spend more morning training your child with a baby Mama,compared to how much you would spend if she is your wife and you two put your heads together to plan finances.
Hope this helps.
@MARTINS
Kpam
DeleteThank you
Tell her the truth.
DeleteUnserious man
ReplyDeleteBut if she leave you today and marry another man you will call her names. So if you don’t make it in life from till 10 years to come that’s how you will not marry Abi don’t worry your grey aji Ike will tell you
Na your type their parents born 20 children for face me I slap you. Just leave him alone with his conviction . It's very valid but I will advise him to use condom going forward because some women sense they fold when they're desperate to marry
DeleteExactly
DeleteDon’t let lady pressure you into marriage if you think you’re not ready. Some ladies are desperate to get married, and after a few years of being married, they loose the desire. Marriage today isn’t always what it’s made out to be, so enjoy your bachelorhood, marriage doesn’t automatically make life more enjoyable, at least from a man's perspective.
ReplyDeleteWhy not cut your clothes according to your size?
ReplyDeleteWhy will you break up with her because of another person situation?
Why do u have to take loan to get married?
Do what work for you, unless she's unreasonable..
Financial incompetence or lack of money leads to anxiety and puts significant pressure on a marriage. Have a heart-to-heart with her and figure out your next move, no need to be a superhero and pretend poverty is cool, that's just a recipe for disaster. You wouldn't wish for your children to come into this world and struggle with poverty and hardship.
ReplyDeleteWhen the Benjamins are scarce, that marriage go tire una. the lovey-dovey feelings will start to fade from her eyes, that's when you'll realize the difference between 6 and 9 isn't that much, They are just upside-down versions of each other, one can easily become the other with a 180-degree turn, leading to endless confusion.
While love is important, money is often described as the oxygen that helps a marriage survive, paying for basic necessities and reducing daily tension.
The sooner you sort this out, the better.
You are supposed to step up. Which one is, there are many sharks in the river? She even believes in you sef. Don't see it as risk. See it as becoming. Statistics shows married people make more money than single people. If you are goal driven, marry that lady. Your creativity will kick in.
ReplyDelete"When your heart desires a destination, your mind will figure out a way to reach it." Dr Murdock.
i hope you will not get jealous when she finally move on and get married to someone else? if you are not ready to wife her, she should move on and do not look back. You don't have money to feed three persons or more but you have the waist to scatter someone's daughter right?
ReplyDeletePlenty shark in the sea is not a way to talk about someone you claim to love
ReplyDeleteWhy can’t you marry and not born for a couple years
What do you do for work
Why don’t you have money
Thank you
DeleteYou are a double minded man. In your position you don't need a girlfriend. Small time now she will get pregnant and you will blame her for holding you back. Break up with her TODAY AND BE HARSH. Face your life and hustle for money and leave ladies alone.
ReplyDeleteI won't advise you to marry when you're not financially ready, but the thing is, will she still be your speck when you're financially ready? If not, let her go and don't waste her time, and if she sees someone that's financially ready to get married, hoe you won't be jealous.
ReplyDeleteMany people who didn't have anything before marriage got their breakthrough after one year in marriage or more. Check around you to confirm this. He who finds a wife finds a good thing. Just make sure the woman you are with is confident on the love you have for her and you will see how the financial breakthrough will come, especially when she prays or speaks positive words about on you. Don't take this advice for granted.
ReplyDelete