Hmmmmm......
MANIPULATIVE MOTHER
My dad was diagnosed with multiple brain tumors but my mum kept on discouraging me from sending money for his surgery.. she said he is just pretending.......
They have been divorced for about 25 years; she even discouraged other siblings.
Brain scan shows the tumors.......
Mom kept on saying dad maltreated her and he even has a woman currently living with him..
Are you not wise and old enough to know that your mum is a wicked manipulative person trying to use the kids for revenge? You saw the test results and you still allowed your mum to hold you back from helping him? Send that money to help your Dad now!!!
Are you a toddler or an adult or you need a soothsayer to tell you what to do?
ReplyDeleteHave you as a man really sat down to ask yourself what you really stand to gain in getting married? They gaslight you to believe they gave birth to your child and this same child has to seek mummy's approval to send money even on your sick bed. This same person will not seek anyone's approval if she was asked to donate money for a total stranger by her pastor. Is it not better to remain single and die alone than get married to all this enemies we call wives. What's the highest thing the man did, he cheated on her. So he could as well die because of that.
DeleteFor you to also be seeking advice to give money to your sick dad shows the level of your reasoning. I just wish men will wise up. Make your money and stack it up to take very good care of yourselves when you are old. This people are nothing but headaches and witchcraft. A word is enough for the wise...
23:08 you sound like an unapologetic, unrepentant selfish and chronic cheat. Instead of you to work on your poor character, you are giving advice to fellow cheats like yourself. Talking about stacking money, go and read about the rich fool in the Bible. All you need to be remembered and helped by your children is being a good husband and father very much present in the lives of your children, joyfully carrying out your responsibilities and giving them a good upbringing and not abandoning their upbringing to their mother. What children experience can never be taken from them, even if their mother is bad, they can never doubt a good and present father. So I am guessing you are a deadbeat. Continue in your cheating ways and taking care of only yourself and see where it lands you. Is it that you are stupid or grossly unaware of the great toll a cheating man costs to his family, to his wife and kids? See the way you minimized cheating.
DeleteThe question is do you really want to help your Dad? Brain scans show the tumors, why are you allowing your Mum put ideas in your head? God forbids he dies, you know you'll regret not helping him out, right?
ReplyDeletePlease go on and send the money to your dad for his surgery.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you do for your dad, do not mention it to your mom.
Send it now before ot is too late.
Do you really wanna help or not ? Your hands are not tied . He's still your dad no matter what. Keeping mute might make you regret later.
ReplyDeletePoster, please don't listen to her again, do whatever it takes for your dad to be okay. Thank God she has not blinded you with her evil thoughts towards your dad.
ReplyDeleteChances are he will succumb to this, but irrespective of that or what happened between your mother and father, and she could 100% for a fact be speaking the truth of how he treated her, that doesn’t have any bearing on your relationship with him or how you choose to spend your money. As long as you’re not asking her to contribute then you are free to help him if you want to.
ReplyDeletePlease encourage her to be forgiving considering he may be on his deathbed. Encourage her to extend Christian charity in her heart towards a man who has no power to help himself or even to harm her or any of you. Treating ppl better than they have treated you is the ultimate sign of forgiveness and shows that you are evolved and not bound by earthly standards but operate under heavenly principles. Encourage her to unburden her soul from the past and be free in her spirit to be charitable and to allow you all to do whatever good you can now. Honestly, you may feel guilty when he dies and even resent her for preventing you from helping a dying man, so do as your spirit desire and set your conscience free. Bitterness has no power on the deathbed.
So if you want to send something to ur dad u have to discuss with ur mom? Do u also discuss with her when you want to render help to other non family members? So u only help those she approves of? Do u know what ur own child will do to u? He would first discuss anything he wants to do with his wife, and u wud only receive the help she approves of. Amen!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat is the aim of your post really?are you waiting for anyone to advise you to assist your dad or withhold your assistance to him?my dear,better do the needful and have peace with your conscience and don't let your mum mislead you...he probably was a bad husband to her however I guess he was a good father to you and sponsored your studies...there is blessings of long live and prosperity when you honour your parents and way of such to by blessings your parents financially...I hope you know brain tumour isn't a very good diagnosis, now you have him alive care for him,provide for him,pray for him,love him and trust God to heal you as he seeks medical treatment...
ReplyDeleteAs for your mum,you don't need to inform her of your financial aid to your dad and peradventure she knows later,apologise that it was an oversight.
May God guide you to do the right thing
Parental manipulation isn’t talked about as much as it should.
ReplyDeleteI tell you. Very important topic. Poster you want us to beg you to help your father? Oya please poster help him.
DeleteHope you'll be able to forgive yourself if you didn't help and God forbid something happens to him?? Whatever happened between them shouldn't be your concern, your mum could even be the one at fault,men hardly speak out or tell people what went wrong. Please do whatever you can to help him
ReplyDeleteAs a man, no matter how caring your wife and kids are to you or how bad they hate you, please save enough money for old age.
ReplyDeleteTrain them and be good to their mum, but do what, save and invest for old age.
E no go funny then.
Same goes for women. Women save money for your old age. Anything can happen. Your husband may abandon you for a younger woman, your kids may not include you in their budget or lives for whatever reason and a spouse could die. Save for your old age.
DeleteVisit your dad, get proof, call a meeting and tell your siblings
ReplyDeleteFor runaway father
DeleteYes anon
DeleteIf she decides to forgive and help her dad, it's none of our business
Nawa for you o. The test shows that the tumors are there yet you're still reluctant to do the needful. But if he dies now(God forbid o), you all will cry and give him a befitting burial. Shame on you all
ReplyDeleteDid your father take care of you
ReplyDeleteDid he take care of her
If not let his new wife pay for the surgery
Don’t drain your resources on nonsense
May God have mercy on your soul. What kind of bitterness is this?
Delete15:55, exactly.
DeleteIf you can, call the hospital/doctor to confirm. While they may not be able to disclose confidential medial information, they will be able to confirm that he is/was a patient. I think the story is incomplete because unless your dad is a known scammer, or a truly wicked person, then you need to believe him and support him.
ReplyDeleteIs he a good father to you?
ReplyDeleteEven so help him,you won't forgive yourself if you didn't and something to him .
Advice your mom to forgive him too,25ys is too long to carry such hatred..
Helping depends on your personal relationship with your dad when you were younger and before the I'll health. If he really was a good dad to you why do you need someone else to validate you support for him?
ReplyDeleteIf you suspect foul play in the medical results then you can personally take him to another hospital for a second opinion and confirmation. You can send a trusted person to do this on your behalf if you are not available to go personally.
ReplyDeletePlease I will suggest you help your dad if the results are confirmed to be true. If you can afford it, please help him. Look for how to mellow your mum down and convince her. You both may regret it later if you don't handle things well.
Also pray about the whole situation, prayers help a great deal.
Best wishes to your family.
Hello Poster,
ReplyDeleteI sense this has been happening quietly for a long time, with your mother shaping the narrative and you all falling in line, until your conscience finally began to resist.
However your parents’ marriage ended, the question that should matter at all is simple: was he a good father, even if he was not a good husband? And even if he failed at both, basic humanity still asks something of you. What you appear to be struggling with is not uncertainty, but a loyalty conflict rooted in unresolved bitterness that you and your siblings have inherited from your mother
When parents separate badly, some never truly stop fighting. They simply move the conflict onto a different field. Children become witnesses, allies, sometimes even tools. Her action may sound justified, but the motive is control - over how the children think, feel, and act toward their father.
By bringing this here, it also suggests that the past has been kept alive through repetition, until it has begun to override present reality. You and your siblings are no longer just children; you have become proxies, conditioned to doubt what the evidence already confirms.
The facts are clear. The scans exist. The illness is real. Whatever occurred between your them - however painful or valid - belongs to them. It should not kill your empathy as his children, nor does it give anyone the right to veto the children's independent judgement as adults - some of you too will grow old and need your children in one way or the other.
At this point, the choice is between grievance and truth. If you separate the two, the path forward becomes obvious. Act according to evidence and conscience. Help your father if you are able. Do so quietly, without debate or permission-seeking. This is a medical matter, and delay carries consequences.
Allowing these manipulations to continue will only deepen confusion and postpone action. It is time to step out of it, please.
MADAM AI
Deletena wa
DeleteSee questions,Anty do the needful biko abi you no get conscience, you even know better than us on what to do.please do it now stop wasting time
ReplyDeleteIf you don't help out and he d.ies, you will regret it all your life.
ReplyDeleteEven if he survived, you will always feel guilty
He is your father. He is blo.od. why hold back? Help now that you can. You might not always have the opportunity to do something.
For your mom. Help her to forgive and let go. 25 years is such a long time to still hold on to hurt. I believe she's better off, so she should please move on.
HF
Poster help your dad to the best of your ability, send money and visit him. If you don't the guilt will hunt you if anything happen to him.
ReplyDeleteYour mum is only human to feel hurt. But if someone eventually happens to your dad when you know you're capable of helping him, you conscience would weigh heavily on you. Do something for him while you still can
ReplyDeleteSend the money ,don't listen to your mum,if you loose him now,you will regret later,how I wish I still have my dad with me,God knows best,u dat still av urs don't hesitate to help him..... Josaria
ReplyDeletehe go still kpai, brain surgery in naija, forget it
ReplyDeleteYou can help your dad without your mum knowing, common you are not a child.
ReplyDeleteSend your dad to a good hospital for the operation, visit and see for yourself.
ReplyDelete