I have been seeing a lot on House helps issue, flying everywhere on social media few weeks ago, and there's this thing that has been happening in my own family, which I would like to throw to the public to get more light on and seek other people's opinion.
Please. Is it okay for a house up living in your house, to always share in wearing the same Christmas outfits, like general family outfits, Easter celebrations, celebratory outfits, in short, to share in wearing the same with you, because I don't know why, each time general family outfits with the family, like my husband gets same fabrics for the whole family, he will always you always insist that the House help shares/sew from the same fabric and sews same fabric with us.
I once lived with my uncle, who was a younger brother of my mother, of my late mom, actually, and despite how generous and how loving he was with those of us who lived with him, we never shared in the same expensive fabrics as his family.
He always, always bought our own fabric separately, and give us a pocket money separately to sew our own fabric if they were not already made.
So I would like to hear your opinions, please, and I'll be in the comment sections. Thank you.
I dont think its a big deal but i dont think i would wanna share outfit that my hubby and i and our Bambinos wear with our helps abeg..
Check your husband
ReplyDeleteNa wandering eye Dey do this
Eye service people
Na so my ex bin Dey do
Always over caring towards the helps like say I be winch
Please wake up at night and chcek him
So he doesn’t molest the girl or both of them they run things gan gan behind your back
Wicked? Or overly suspicious? Or having eyes for low quality men?
DeleteWhat kind of evil comment is this ?
DeleteWhat a warped mindset. Even my family our staff are considered part of our family .
@Jeweluchi Chocolat, don't mind the evil 15:10.
DeleteThat's why their staff, poison, Rob and murder them.
@Jeweluchi Chocolat, don't mind the evil 15:10.
DeleteThat's why their staff, poison, Rob and murder them.
Anon 15.10, you are of very low mentality and would be a cantekerous wife to be avoided. Tueh for you
DeletePoster zukwanuike. If you dont want her to sew uniform with you and your family buy her a different dress. I am almost 99% sure that your help is a minor. Try to rest.
ReplyDeleteEvil lots. May God punish all of una. So you take in a child as helper and you want her to not feel included? Evil lots. I understand if you took her in when she was above 21 but as a child? I think you are unconsciously trying to hurt your help because your uncle method deeply hurt you. Hurt people whitout self confidence and without the capability of healing will hurt others. Because your uncle action made you feel inferior, now that you get the chance you want to feel superior too. You are evil.
ReplyDeleteCase closed.
DeleteEspecially as Live-in help is not oxygen.
Like in the chronicle of that mother-in-law who wanted her DIL to experience what she complained about all her life to her son. But thank God, her son learned from her lamentations and saved his wife.
By the way, I am a male.
People are different..
ReplyDeleteSome believe once the help is looking different means she's been maltreated..
It's really not a big deal,if she behaves like Ur child and takes good care of them,why not let her feel the love..
Your help is a human being. Somebody’s daughter, like your daughter, whose parents because of economic conditions decided to outsource their childhood in the worst form of parentification possible.
ReplyDeleteHouse-helps are treated differently and battle trauma, depression, and other mental health issues. If your husband decides to improve their joy at Christmas, what do you care? Does it hurt you or your kids to wear and remove at the end of the day the outfit?
The problem is the classism in Nigeria. Everyone wants to feel “better than” someone else and you have that mindset.
Unless of course you suspect your husband of having an ulterior motive.
The poster need to calm down please, house help her human too. If we show them love they will reciprocate.
DeleteIt’s odd to me. No matter how you try to make a staff member your friend of feel like family they are still staff, you can never be peers. There are other ways to acknowledge and appreciate their work than sharing in family fabrics.
ReplyDeleteI’m sure most staff members would appreciate a bonus or pay raise over family fabric any day. Who family fabric help? Please talk to your husband.
Lady, if your househelp is a child please ignore this my comment. I hate child labour and do not support it. I despise it and I despise those who participate in it under the guise of ‘helping’. If you have the means to support a needy child they do not need to be working for you doing manual labour, you can support them out of the goodness of your heart. Again, ignore my comment because I was under the impression the worker is an adult.
DeleteI don’t understand how women who carry children and birth them find it ok to keep a child for work. Let me go do something before I cuss you out.
Are househelps not human?!! Your husband is a good man. God bless him . As for you ,no words .
ReplyDeleteI will prefer a similar outfit for my help not same with my family outfit, some people sew same outfits with their house-helps just for show off but deep down they are demons at home maltreating the house helps.
ReplyDeletelife is all about choices.
ReplyDeletenot a big deal.
If your house help starts maltreating your children today, you would definitely complain. House helps are human too, and they deserve love and respect. In many ways, they play a vital role in the safety and well-being of your home.
ReplyDeleteTreat them the same way you would want your children to be treated, while still maintaining proper discipline, especially when they are live-in house helps.
There's nothing wrong with that. It is the mindset of the kingdom. The wealth is supposed to be common. Once there's a difference between your help and kids, there's already a problem.
ReplyDeleteI know alot of us have diverse opinions in this regard, but the truth of the matter is, The people who work for us should leave us better than they met us. We should treat them beyond their pay check.
Your help can have a help and your driver should have a driver.
When I see rich people with malnourished subordinates around them, everything they have acquired just jump out of the window. You and your immediate family is just too small to be the reason for your existence. This is the cancer of Nigeria politicians. The wealth or what some call National moimoi is limited to their compound.
No one is rich unto himself. If you can afford a maid, you should be able to give them the best possible life beyond their salary.
I have had customers who came to make dresses for their events and they chose same fabric, same style, even the applique were all same quality with their house helps or external family members.
ReplyDeleteWe also had people who lived with us during our childhood days. My mum always bought same quality of outfits for us,. When it's time to sew uniform she would sew with same type of fabric and style or sometimes each person choose their styles .
If you don't want them to wear same material with your kids, then you can choose a different one but not the one that will obviously let the public identity them as maids or extended family members. You know how some people behave, they'll like to have their maids wear very low quality clothes compared to their kids
I don’t think it’s a big deal, guess he just wants her not to feel excluded.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow, if that help become successful to help sitting down, would any member of your family sit with the person, or ask him/her to stand or kneel helping?
ReplyDeleteAnd those of you insinuating against the man of the house, is it just man 8?
Haba!
ReplyDeleteWhat a question!
She lives with you and must be treated equally
Same outfit is fine
ReplyDeleteBut make sure even if you take pic with the help that you also take some family pics without the help
Fact is people come and go and 20 years from now, I want copies that are just us
For me,it's not a big deal depends on how good your house help is to you and how good you are to her too
ReplyDeleteLike my sister born only boys and she used her house help as her baby girl,you will never know that she is not her daughter i love it will do same too
As far as the girl is not bad or wicked heart.
It's not a big deal.
ReplyDeleteIt's not a big deal.
ReplyDeleteIf I have maid today, I will treat her well but she's not gonna wear uniform with us..
ReplyDeleteMy deal here is with men that do things in the house that their wives don’t like
ReplyDeleteWhy is he persisting when you don’t like this
Either send her away or stop wearing same for everyone
I won’t wear and she won’t wear
I don’t like nonsense
It's the same type of blood that runs through you that runs through the house help too. In this life, no one knows tomorrow. Just be kind.
DeleteZaram I grew up with househelps
DeleteIt’s not the same blood pls
They have their family and you have yours
Do your best treat people well
But they are not your family
They can join their own family picture
You can even send them on holiday and take the picture then
They move on with their lives most times and you’re left with someone random in the family picture on the wall
It doesn't matter.As long as we are not seeing the same style
ReplyDeleteMy colleague stayed with her uncle as a maid, the man will travel outside and get the clothes for everybody in his home. Today he is reaping the fruit of goodness.
ReplyDeleteThe last help i had,we did uniform for our house opening on dec 7th, christmas i bought same cloths for she and my daughter also bought new year cloths planning on putting her in same school as my kinds.Jan 5th madam just came to me that she want to go back.I didn't even argue.Time for her to leave she and her mom started begging for her to stay.But my husband refused her staying back.Imagine her telling my daughter that thank God we didn't waste money in putting her in school.And this child spent 4months in my house.
ReplyDeleteSo what's the problem?
DeleteMaybe he's just trying to be kind. I see nothing wrong with it. Just when you want to take family photos, she can't be included
ReplyDeleteStella that is wickedness. First nobody should have an unpaid underage help.
ReplyDeleteIf you do as Nigeria is not perfect,then they must be treated as part of the family. Inclusion always
Madam, I hope your help eat from the same pot as y’all?
ReplyDeleteThis life is like standing fan. It might blow you this moment and move to the next person the next moment. Be careful who you despise. Househelp.is a human being like you. There is absolutely nothing wrong in her wearing the same fabrics with your family. It's just cloth.
ReplyDeleteNawaooo. Just fabric and empathy and you are panting. Only God knows where the help eats her food or even sleeps. She might have her meal after the family because she is not your child.
ReplyDeleteUna too do.
You and the help will only inherit 6 feet below the ground. You won't go with the material vanity that makes you feel superior over other human.
I hate when people look down on others because of class .
We are all dust!.
Is the house help not a human being like you ? One head, 2 hands etc abi na becos condition make crayfish bend for the house help coming from a poorer or less privilege background as you madam ?
ReplyDeleteYou know what ??? It's because you managed marry or find yourself "in money" that grew this warped Mentality. Cos na Person wey mistakenly jam or hit small money dey reason like this.
This is nothing but Poverty Mentality !!! Reject it .
Life is not that hard, we just worries out of nothing. As a help, she's part of your family,...so no need in separate types of cloths 👗
ReplyDeletePoster, let me tell you this little story We had a help my mum brought to help out in her business. Whenever my mum shops for cloths, she gets same thing for us girls, same with Christmas gifts and shoes 🎁 Also went to same school with us. My mum doesn't even allow her wash our clothes, she only taught us how to wash & clean the house like a big sister. Recently she sent foodstuffs to my mum with cash gift from her husband saying they'll come visit whenever they're in town. Til date, she's still the big sister we have and her kids are like my nieces & nephews 💕
You see this life, what you sew is what you'll wear. Not everyone will appreciate your kindness but be kind regardless ❤️
Just worry out of nothing
DeletePrior to now I would have agreed with the writer. See this people r far from their families for a long time and now see you as their family.it is not nice to exclude them since they won’t even be with their family. Iast Christmas I was with my brother and his family abroad and they all got the matching pj’s excluding me and now I know how it feels to be far from home and be excluded. Simple things count. If your husband doesn’t mind then don’t. Majority of the time I see it’s women that like to exclude any other female in dress codes. Christmas is a time to show love and if your uncle didn’t show it to you then be the breaker of that cycle
ReplyDeletemy own house help is a cousin who lives with me so i dont treat her like a paid help. i did not want a stranger in my home that is why i choose someone who could help me around the house when i started having kids and i will in turn send her to school and help her family...I shop for her even when i travel abroad and buy same clothes with my kids. she has been with me since she was 10 years so i dont even see her as a help.. she is getting ready for jamb and going to uni soon. nothing wrong in my opinion in wearing same fabrics with you. i know some of them paid helps take advantage of you but till they show it you dont treat them different...
ReplyDeleteGod, na only You fit solve the problem of classism and royalty complex in Nigeria.
ReplyDeleteThe evil of classism is not apparent to the world. People of lower class are ALWAYS victims of civil rights abuse .
Ona lo jin, eru ni baba.