FRIDAY IN HOUSE NEWS

 Hailings

FRIDAY MEMO

How is everyone doing today.... Wetin dey shele na?I am just here sipping a cup of really tasty ''Kapuchy'' and thinking about rich folks.....Please eh, dont ever envy anyone until you are sure of their source of income...DONT EVER!!!!

Let me quickly type and post before ''Sandra Darring'' will penalise...That darling word is pronouned like an Anambra babe that i is...LOL

Enjoy the rest of the day.....

💕💕💕💕💕

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SDK VERSUS FORMER TROLL AND FOREVER A TROLL

On Thursday in house news i said ''Shout out to my haters, e don tey una drag hair for my kpekus, wetin happen?''

FORMER TROLL REPLIED SDK

FOREVER A TROLL REPLIED FORMER TROLL

Hahahahahahhhahahahha this really really cracked me up...We pray for more trolls to find Christ.

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A MEMO TO BV BACI FROM BV XHIRTED P'

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NOTORIOUS FOR JESUS

My husband and I were having a conversation yesterday night and he decided to share an interesting story with me from his primary school days. So when he was in primary school, his favourite teacher was the home economics teacher. According to him, they'd normally go to her house to help her do chores and eat and have fun. This made her endearing.
One day, they were supposed to have a school inter house sport programme the following day and she had instructed them to eat something light before coming because there will be so much food after the celebration.
You know how we mostly adore our teachers those days, and we believe whatever they tell us, hook line and sinker. Not these days that teachers hardly mean much. The influence of a teacher was really powerful then.
The following morning, my husband requested for his breakfast of simply a plate of white rice. In his head, a plain rice with stew or meat is the perfect example of something light. I had a good laugh. How is white rice without stew something light?
Many years later, he realised he didn't understand the actual meaning of that statement and that 'something light' means, not so heavy kind of food.

Rice for some people is light food oh...Why else do people have rice as breakfast?

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COSTLY MISTAKE

One of the costliest mistakes a person can make in love, courtship, or marriage is to stay too long around someone who is emotionally abusive.
And I say this carefully because many people still do not take emotional abuse seriously enough. If there are no bruises on the body, they assume it is not that bad. If the abusive person still provides, still says “I love you,” still has good moments, still apologizes from time to time, many people keep minimizing what is happening.

But emotional abuse can do deep damage.
In some cases, it damages a person more slowly and more thoroughly than physical violence because it works on the mind, the confidence, the sense of reality, and the inner stability of the victim. It chips away at a person little by little until they no longer sound like themselves, trust themselves, or even know how to explain what is wrong.

That is part of what makes it dangerous.
Emotionally abusive people often do not look abusive at first. They may look intense, passionate, expressive, strong-willed, even deeply attached. Some are charming in public and cruel in private. Some are not always shouting. Some use silence. Some use mockery. Some use guilt. Some use control. Some use unpredictability. Some know how to wound without leaving evidence people can easily point to.

So how do you know someone is emotionally abusive?
Look at patterns, not isolated moments.
---If someone repeatedly uses silence as punishment, that is a sign.
If someone constantly belittles, mocks, or speaks in ways that make you feel small, that is a sign.
---If someone twists your words, denies obvious things, or keeps making you question your own memory and judgment, that is a sign.
---If someone cannot disagree without humiliating, threatening, frightening, or emotionally destabilizing you, that is a sign.
---If you are always walking on eggshells, studying moods, managing reactions, and shrinking yourself to keep peace, that is a sign.
---If the relationship keeps leaving you anxious, confused, drained, and less like yourself, that is a sign.

A healthy relationship can have conflict, tension, and hard moments. That is normal. But in a healthy relationship, your dignity is not under constant attack. You are not being trained to live in fear. You are not being reduced little by little.

Emotionally abusive people often want power without calling it power. 

They want to control the emotional weather of the relationship. They want everybody adjusting to them. They want to punish, dominate, or destabilize without taking responsibility for what they are doing. Many of them are deeply insecure, but instead of dealing with their insecurity, they make other people carry it.
And the long-term impact can be serious.
A person who stays too long in emotional abuse may lose confidence in their own judgment. They may become more anxious, withdrawn, fearful, or overly apologetic. They may struggle to make simple decisions without second-guessing themselves. They may start believing they are the problem because they have been blamed for everything for so long. Some lose their joy. Some lose their voice. Some lose the ability to receive healthy love because chaos has retrained their nervous system.

Children also suffer in such environments.
Even if the abuse is not directed at them every day, they are still being formed by the atmosphere. They learn tension. They learn fear. They learn unhealthy communication. They learn that love comes with intimidation, manipulation, or emotional punishment. And many carry those lessons into adult life.
This is why people should run from emotionally abusive people, not romanticize them.
Do not keep calling it “just how he is.”
Do not keep calling it “she only talks like that when angry.”
Do not keep calling it passion, strong personality, or love.
Do not keep hoping marriage will calm what courtship already made clear.
Do not keep thinking endurance will heal what the abusive person is not even willing to name honestly.
People can grow, yes. People can change, yes. But nobody should build a future on another person’s refusal to face their own abusive patterns.

One of the clearest signs of wisdom is knowing when to stop calling something difficult and start calling it dangerous.
If somebody keeps damaging your peace, reducing your dignity, confusing your mind, and making you smaller in the name of love, you are not looking at a small flaw. You are looking at a serious problem.
And many people do not realize this until years later, when they look back and see how much of themselves they lost just trying to survive someone who should have been their safe place.
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MOST READ
I used to think being kind, patient, and understanding would make someone value me more.
So I stayed through everything.
I forgave quickly.
I accepted excuses.
I made myself low-maintenance so I wouldn’t be difficult.
And somehow the easier I was to love, the less effort I received.
Meanwhile, I watched men move mountains for women who did half of what I did.
That’s when it clicked:
It’s not about who deserves more.
It’s about who feels replaceable.
If someone believes you’ll always be there no matter what, they relax.
They stop trying.
Stop impressing.
Stop investing.
Not because you’re not enough but because they don’t feel any risk of losing you.

Here are the habits that quietly make you easy to keep.

1. You talk too much instead of pulling back
You send long messages explaining why you’re hurt.
You beg to be understood.
But you’re still there, still available, still answering.
So nothing changes. He knows you’re not going anywhere.

2. You get excited over crumbs
He texts once you melt.
He does the bare minimum you’re grateful.
He buys one small thing you act like he moved mountains.
Now he knows low effort is enough to impress you.

3. You’re always available
Late-night calls? You pick.
Last-minute plans? You accept.
He disappears for days? You welcome him back warmly.
There’s no pressure to do betterbecause access to you is guaranteed.

4. You act shocked when treated well
“OMG you didn’t have to ”
“This is too much ”
Now he knows this isn’t your normal.
So he keeps effort low because low effort already gets a big reaction.

5. You stay even after he disappoints you
He hurts you.
You cry.
You forgive.
Nothing changes.
After a while, he stops worrying about losing you
because history shows you won’t leave.
Most women aren’t ignored because they’re not pretty enough or good enough.
They’re treated casually because they feel permanent.
Once I understood this, everything shifted the effort, the attention, the generosity.
I stopped being the “easy option” and became the woman people don’t want to risk losing.
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