STAND ALONE NARRATIVE..
Hello Stella, I've been a BV for two years now. I read your blog always but I've commented just once. SDK you are truly an awesome icon.
Well I decided to share the story of my life (I'd actually tried tying this twice before but gave up before I started).
My life has been a story of how one wrong decision can alter your life.
I met a girl during my hustling days after my NYSC, she was writing her JAMB exams then, she did plenty shakara for me and didn't seem interested so after plenty wooing I just gave up. Months later I got my first real job and surprisingly I got a call from this girl and for the first time in almost a year agreed to come visit me.
I initially felt I wouldn't take her serious since when I hustled she didn't appreciate me but now I had a corporate job she wants a relationship. Anyway, my feelings got rekindled and we started a relationship. She seemed gentle and would never quarrel with me no matter the issue and though we were never intellectually and emotionally compatible we dated for 3 years.
I eventually got a better job with a multinational company and became comfortable. Meanwhile my girlfriend got pregnant and we decided to keep it. I did a formal introduction with her family, well they've known me for years and even allowed her stay with me especially since I was supporting them financially.
After that introduction she changed totally. She quarrelled constantly over flimsy things, became insultive and would never listen to me. I started wondering what i'd gotten myself into.
I contemplated ending the relationship but I didn't want to have a child out of wedlock and besides she was already far gone to consider terminating the pregnancy. Though I told her father that we should not discus marriage till after child birth, one month later I found myself planning a wedding. My family was surprised but they just tagged along (note that they had noticed her new behaviour as she was now giving everyone attitude).
She got so quarrelsome that I became so dismayed at the life I would live with her as my wife. One day after going to see her at her parents house, she behaved so badly that I parked my car on a street close to my house and started weighing my options.
In my sad state I saw a lady walk by and I said hi, she stopped and looked at me and responded and I decided to cheer myself up with a conversation, we eventually exchanged numbers and two weeks later we went on a date. This lady brought joy to my heart once again and yes we had sex.
After seeing this lady for about a month I had fallen in love with her and she also fell in love with me. Now it was 3 months to my wedding so I told my new girlfriend (let me call her Folake, she's Yoruba, I'm Ibo and my pregnant fiancee is also Yoruba). Folake cried and cried saying that she had thought that she had found her husband and that she was so much in love with me.
The next 2 days Folake was admitted in hospital. Folake and I had fallen too deep in love that we couldn't bare leaving each other, meanwhile I continued planning a deeply faulted wedding. It seemed my fiance just wanted the comfort of a marriage without any foundation of love. I wish I knew then what I know now, at this stage I wasn't a kid since I was in my early thirties and my fiancee was in her mid twenties.
I dated Folake for 2 years after my marriage till she met someone who proposed marriage to her, she told me about it and I encouraged her to accept his proposal since she was not getting any younger and I was trapped in a loveless marriage. It was truly painful losing Folake who had shared her total love, commitment, body and soul with me but I knew it was the best thing to do concerning her. The first time Folake allowed her new guy have sex with her, she called me and knelt down on the street begging for my forgiveness. I had to take her up and assure her that I wasn't offended since I had to let her move forward with her life (such was the love and loyalty she had for me).
By now I had moved to another multinational company became more successful and later got promoted to a new position that placed me in the management team. I was celebrated across the company because I was the first Nigerian to be appointed to a hitherto expatriate position. Then my life took a downturn that shattered my life. Months into this new position I was terminated.
I was shocked since all the company said was that they were downsizing to save cost. It didn't make sense because I was the only one involved. Well I thought with my qualification and experience it would be a matter of weeks before I got another job but that didn't happen. After 8 months I started praying concerning getting another job, all the pentecostal churches, white garment churches and even alfas (almost 20 in all) I visited all told me the same thing that my wife and her Edo mother were responsible.
I was shocked because at some point after our wedding I found out about who MIL was but I didn't know my wife was involved in their thing. At this point I have prayed and fasted and more but nothing changed. Everyone seems to know the problem but can't help with a solution. Some just tell me that MIL is very powerful. I have had several interviews for jobs, some even better than the one I lost, but at the end after selecting me they all fail to give me an offer letter, they just keep silent and won't get back to me. I regret marrying my wife, had I known this was how my marriage would ruin my life and career I would have stuck with my Folake who still blames me for not marrying her.
She is married with children to that same guy and is successful today but says I will always be the love of her life. Its been 5 years now since I lost my job, I'm broken, ruined, depressed and disgraced. From what I'm told when these people ruin a man's life its a done deal.
I've asked and begged God to have mercy on me and change my situation. Sometimes I just wish I were dead because the disgrace has been too much. People who know me can't believe how I've fallen from grace to grass.
I wish I had made a different choice of a marriage partner. If only I could turn back the hands of time.
I dont understand..what exactly did you do to them?I thot that your wife wanted a comfortable marriage?So,why would she make you then lose your job and then stay?
Are you sure it's not the Folake that you encouraged to Marry someone else that is responsible for this?Please check well cos it doesnt make sense at alll....
Folake sounds more likely behind your problems.