Hmmmmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BESTIE
Let me go straight to the point without beating about.
I have one bestie friend...We have been friends since we were kids and our parents are also friends..In fact her mum and my mum are closer than close and that is how with encouragement from both mums , our friendship also started....They have been drumming it into our ears to pass on the friendship to our kids cos both their grand fathers are best friends....
This is the reason why i need advice on what to do cos one wrong move can end all the friendships started over the years...
My bestie did something that shocked me and i found that she has been the one person always spreading false news about me....She is more successful money wise but i am more beautiful looks wise...When i say beautiful, I mean the type that stops you in your tracks when you see me...
I am presently between jobs cos i am adding one or two skills to what i have and she has built a good career and is doing we...I am so proud of her,both mums are....
We hung out sometime back and we were both tips and during our laughter, I jokingly she should wait and see me off to my apartment when she drops me off before i will go and use tipsy eyes to mistakenly gbensh gateman..We had a good laugh about it cos we joke a lot....
I fell out with one of our mutual friends and we had verbal altercation and the word ''You that sleeps with the gateman where you live have no right giving me advice, jealous ho''...... I only had this convo as a joke with my supposed best friend.
She also insulted me of being a nymphx...Only my bestie gave me this name cos my boo told me once that i am insatiable and i told him, it was cos its him...she was there when we laughed about this and she joined in the laughter.. she coined the name nymphx.
After that day another friend i am quite close to opened a can of worms and told me all the things she had been telling them about me and my family and the things her mum says about my mum...My friend begged me not to repeat it but to just be careful what i tell her and to also warn my mum....The things i heard are not made up, the stories are situations i can relate with...
I feel somewhat relieved and want to end this friendship but what do i tell my mum? I dont want to tell her that her bestie also betrays her to her daughter and her daughter in betrays us both to others...
Or should i tell my mum and have her confront her bestie? should i also confront her or just ghost her?
I have not been picking her calls...we all live in Lagos....
Hmmmmmm......for this matter my bad advice go wear waistcoat...
When dem no plant your placenta with your friend? please confront her eyeball to eyeball and see her reaction, if she denies, please land her hotkonkor slap and make it very hot......I sure say nah the beauty be her problem.....Abeg confront
am with your mama and her mama in the same room...open mouth waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa talk everything and let the mothers handle it.....If you really love the friendship, you can continue with side eyes and say things to test her again.....
Abeg no forget the slap.
Why not have this discussion with Ur mum first..shes your mother and brought this woman and her daughter to your home..
ReplyDeleteMe won't even confront you immediately,I will stay away from you that you begin confess all your sins without asking..
As you tell her, Repeat the things you heard to your mum, especially the ones that she shared with her mum but never told you.
DeleteThe longest friendship I have ever had ended abruptly, I was so eager to reconcile and ex bestie used that opportunity to set me up to get robbed and r*ped. Do with this information what you will but I've known from years of experience that once jealousy has entered the equation, there's no telling how bad it can get.
ReplyDeleteposter... I agree with Stella's bad advice oo.... confront her infront of both mum's.... likelihood is she has been telling her mum bad things about you too... so best to just get it all out in the open.... to see their reaction.... their response will also let your mother know what is up...
ReplyDeleteMother and daughter may both be carrying bad belle towards you and your mum OR it's an opportunity to expose whatever the issue is.... they may be 'peter's in both of your life (where they've messed up cause of weakness but they' genuinely love you and it will not repeat itself) or 'Judas' (betrayers and backstabbers that need to be cut off) - either way I believe you should address it, dont just cut her off....
Confront them
DeleteBecause the mum also has been saying things about your mum. Everlasting friendship from grandpa, I hear Una. Please confront them so your mum can start paying attention to what people are not saying but say it with their eyes.
Friendship should flow naturally,its not a family inheritance or trophy that must be passed from one generation to another even when the interest of the respective individuals involved dont align.
ReplyDeleteNow that aside;i personally don't take anyone's words over someone i call a friend,so I would definitely ask her,then your answers would determine the next step of our friendship.
If her words and actions don't add up;then everyone should move on,because I personally believe Whatever or whomever costs you your peace of mind;is too expensive to be kept..
@MARTINS
Period!!!
DeleteI recently ended a friendship of over 25 years. No arguments, no confrontations, I just withdrew and finally they got the message.
ReplyDeletePoster, sit your mum down and talk to her about all you said in this chronicle leaving none and let her decide how she wants to handle herself going forward, she's an adult.
You should withdraw from the friendship. When she calls pick but don't call and keep the conversations brief and just small talks. If she tries to discuss something heavy with you, tell her you are busy and it's not a good time or listen but give no advice. Become obviously distant, she will leave you alone.
On WhatsApp, hide your status from her, leave with nothing to comment on to start a conversation.
I will go with this. No time for confrontation. She won't go back to reverse what she has said about you and to how many people anyway? No need.
DeleteYou and your Mother should have that conversation and withdraw.
When you have a conversation with someone and get a monosyllables, they will know what to do.
Seconded
DeleteTake Stella advice. Don't make it violent but mature and distance yourself afterwards.
ReplyDeleteOpen the can of worms in every ones presences.lt will help you and your mother to know which way forward in the friendships.Maybe the friendships has run it course in your lives.Me l take such serious o .l may not react too much but i will shift from she and her mother.lf my mom won continue the friendship na she sabi.
ReplyDeleteSee Me, see some friedship. Thats why I avoid some things now like a Plague. Na when friendship never test you, you no go know wetin dey sup.
ReplyDeleteOne thing is very certain here. Una (friendship) will never remain the same again after this exposeé
I had noticed that my former bestie was jealous of me, then I saw her in my dream, calling my name in a fetish way. So I confronted her, she confessed going to native doctors to do juju to harm me. She had also gone to my office to tell lies about me to my co workers. Poster, be careful with her
ReplyDeleteMy roommate who doubled as my bestie had a habit of meeting the men that came to look for me (in my absence) with terrible gusts about me
ReplyDeleteEven the man I married heard so many dirty things about me from her but she thought I slept with these men , I didn’t
These men weighed it with my composure with them and how I wasn’t loose or beggarly
Some told me and I kept quiet
Married and went on with my life
We were still besties
Years and years passed like 10-12years
Life has dealt with her, I let her close but far which worked because we lived in different cities
I was talking to her one day and I heard in my spirit that she was recording our conversation. I ignored
Then she asked me twice to repeat what I said which was spooky because that call was clear and until that sensitive part she hadn’t asked me to repeat. She want further to know details about all I’m doing
I ended the call and that was it
We haven’t spoken
I’m miss her though but I’m safer this way
I prioritize my safety over any bond or who I miss
I’m good
If you ever read this
Fuc&kk you
We go still settle scores because who price gats pay
When jung
Lady if you know whats good for you .you better let her go. Shes might to destory you.
DeleteIt is apparently clear that you are not friends with her and her family, especially you and your mum. I will suggest that you tell your mum the stories you heard and you take your decision on whether to continue with the friendship or not. This is irrespective of what your mum decides to do after the revelation from you. I really don't know what the particulars are of your my mum's own story that was spread. But a friend whom you feel not secure being with and you have genuine reasons for feeling so is not your friend. The earlier you withdrew from such friends the better for you. I strongly suggest no confrontation with the gossip but rather withdrawal from their lives. Don't you ever reveal your life to them again and stay on your lane, finding something else to keep you occupied when the thought of hanging out with them comes up.
ReplyDeleteCut all conversations immediately and quietly plan what path you want to take. Please tell your mother. Those t o are agents of destruction with no loyalty
ReplyDelete@ If I were you, I’d start by having an honest conversation with my mum. I’d share what I heard—especially what was allegedly said about her and calmly ask if there’s any truth to it. If she confirms it, I’d let her handle her own friendship however she chooses.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I’d make it clear that I’m stepping away. I’d simply say I’ve outgrown the friendship, afterall, not every relationship is meant to last for generations. After that, I’d quietly create distance. No drama, no confrontation, no need to expose anything/everything. I'll just protect my peace and move forward.
I believe you should confront her first. If she's remorseful, but you forgive, don't be friends with her again and not tell your mum what happened. Just tell her it's not working out. But is he acts up, let it rain sis
ReplyDeleteLearn to end any relationship that backstaps you. I
ReplyDeleteBefore you take a step further to your mum, confront your friend with everything you’ve heard. Her response and attitude will determine if You will let your mum in. Your mum should also know what is happening, it will help her know how to relate with that her friend henceforth.
ReplyDelete