Does age really matter in a relationship?I mean if a man can be older than a woman and be allowed to marry her,why cant an older woman marry a younger man without people poke nosing and asking the man not to marry his mother's age mate?
I have come to the conclusion that age is nothing but a number and if two people love each other,irrespective of whom is older,please let them be!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
AGE REALLY MATTERS IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Dear Stella, I'm in a kind of fix. I've been dating this guy for 1 year and 6 months now, he's 33, I'm 39. We are so in love, he takes very good care of me the way a man should, paid my last rent, bought me a car and generally very good to me.
Now, he says we should get married and wants me to meet his parents officially but I'm so scared they might not approve of me because of the age difference. I'm so in love with him that my world will shatter if they don't accept me, what do I do?
I hadly see myself as cougar cus apart from the age difference, he is totally the man in the relationship.
Been so so worried.''
*My dear,just shower her (MIL) with love and leave the rest to God.if she is anything like the typical Nigerian mother in law,you should be worried but God will see you through.
*My dear,just shower her (MIL) with love and leave the rest to God.if she is anything like the typical Nigerian mother in law,you should be worried but God will see you through.
My dear, please go for whatever makes you happy. #LetThemSay
ReplyDeleteI think we all should put Stella dimikokus in our prayers. Her tooth problem has made her not to write very well even when she staring @ words.
DeletePoster, do you really need to reveal your age to them? Why don't u leave that between yourself and your partner?
DeleteClick my name for all your celebration cakes and cupcakes, cheers
......until the day you go out with him and they ask you if he's your son or nephew. Na you sabi ooooi
DeleteI think poster actually looks her age,so it will be so glaring she won't be able to lie abt it dats y she's worried. Makes her case sad dou cos I have a friend dat was like 5yrs older than her bf den,but it wasn't obvious,cos she was smallish and they are happily married now!
Delete@poster,u are doing nothing wrong cos maturity is not in age at all dese days,infact I have noticed d older boys' are even more immature!back to ur question of what to do before meeting d inlaws:pray and fast for God to give u favour esp before MIL cos they are usually the hellraisers!
Also encourage ur bf to be strong and insist on what he wants even dou dey discourage him,with time they will understand.
Best of luck!
How's it ur business..u must not comment u know......#hisses
DeleteEtin stella dey talk?..no be d lady dey seek advice? Shower her bawo?
ReplyDeleteAge is nothing but a number but y'all will come here cursing Lola!!.
DeleteMay God forgive some BVs.
My dear,I ve got a cousin who is perfectly happy in her union,she is the older one.
If u have convinced yourself you can do this and you are certain of his love for you,then pls go ahead.
Make sure he loves you more than you love him because this battle is solely his to fight.it won't be easy to convince his people and only someone that loves you deeply will stand his grounds on this.
I wish you the best hun,happiness most esp cos that's all that matters.
Now send me an iv when the battle(if any) is over.
Good luck!
She means the poster should shower the guy's mum....
DeleteShower the mother in law ooo, Bitchplis
DeleteBitchplis re-read wot Stella wrote,I believe u ll understand wot she said there,I believe u rushed d story n commented w/out digesting,
DeleteWill he go abt telling his family how old you are? Babe chill. The most important thing is that he loves you. It's his battle to fight. Stop killing yourself. They'll accept you.
DeleteWhatever treatment a woman gets from her inlaws is due to the picture painted by her man.
LMAO I noticed that too.
DeleteSDK na hunger dey cashew nii?
Anyhow, age is nothing but a number n u r only as old as u think u are.
Enjoy your love n stop worrying about what might go wrong, u go old quick o.
She is refering to the MIL @bitchplis. Oh well..I try to imagine if na my pikin bring an older woman as wife to be,how would I feel..there lies your answer.
DeleteShe changed it...dis wasn't wat she wrote initially
DeleteLove doesn't come from d mind which knows ur age buh it comes frm d heart.
ReplyDeleteTo me it's just a number....
Buh this issue seems to be very very considerable in almost every nigerian home. Last year I date d a 27 yrs old lady while I'm 24...my family took sugar outta ma tea.
My advise; pls be positive since d guy knows ur age and nva see it as a barrier, thumb up. God will make it happen for you because He cares for ur happiness!
Life is all about happiness and whatever gives u that is what u must hold unto come what fucking may!
Age shouldn't be a problem at all. Pray about it and let God perfect the rest.
ReplyDeleteAge is nothing but a number. Although some people really make it a priority, but the truth is that 80% of the time, age is not really important in a relationship. And besides, will you guys tell his parent your age? Do parents ask how old a person their son/daughter wants to marry is?
ReplyDeleteAll you need to do is respect him, marriage places a man over a woman as the head of the family, so age is no longer important when marriage or relationship is in the picture. What's important is maturity, the way he does things and all that, and if he is matured enough, he'll defend you in front of his parents and he should be old enough to know what he wants.
Your comment will be visible after approval
Ohhhh alloy!! Dnt I jus love u!
DeleteAge is not a number ONLY if you have MONEY! How many young man or woman that is married to a broke ass niggas or bitches? Ans is zeros.
DeleteAge isn't maturity, I've seen teenagers behave far more mature than 30yr olds.
ReplyDeleteSince he's talking marriage it means your age difference isn't an issue to him, if it would be an issue to your would be Inlaws then the issue shouldn't be raised, im saying both of you should Lie to them, after marriage is between the Man and woman, if the man is cool with it, then no one else should matter.
Though lying with something like age is something I don't like because of the future.
We are not talking of one year or two years here oh.. 6 years! Thats too much now.. u sef what are u doing with him sey men have finished ni.. i cant deal mehn.. my son should not try this oh.. Age is not just a number..
DeleteHmmmmm, this our Nigerian Mothers in Law and Nigerian Mentality sef. I am almost too sure they will disapprove of the relationship. I remember when my brother in law brought a lady 4 years older than him, my mother in law said over her dead body will he marry her, that he should marry a lady younger than him.
ReplyDeletePoster, God will help you, if the MIL is exposed and enlightened, she will understand that age is nothing but a number
the age gap btw my hubby and i is 19 years and im enjoying my marriage everyday. he treats me like his pet nd pampers me all d time. even when i annoy him to d point of eruption all he tells me is "u are just being childish stop acting ur age and start acting like a mom". it hurts sometimes wen i hear those words but its better than blows slaps or kick. marrying an older man rocks. PHOE SAID SO
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwww,don't I just love the sound of these words @you are just being childish,stop acting your age and act like a mom
DeleteThere are sure better ways to handle a woman.
Keep enjoying ur union phoe.
Iyawo arugbo....lol *just kidding*
DeleteEnjoy ur marriage jare.
That's how my boyfriend scolds me too! Oh yes! Older men rock!!!
DeleteJayEm I hear you
DeleteThat is emotional abuse.... if u don't know now u know
DeleteDo u intend telling her ur age?
ReplyDeleteI beg free ur mind and get ready 4 ur wedding....
E pele ma.
DeleteSe e ti gbe nkan lura?
Hahahahahaha
Relax! Have positive thoughts about the outcome of your meeting. Same way you think it's possible they might not accept you because of the age difference, there's also the possibility that they will wholeheartedly accept you, so why dwell on the possible negative outcome. Just be you, and like SDK said shower them with love and let God take control. You'll be fine!
ReplyDeleteOne mil likes
DeleteAnty stella dis ur advice him or her whish 1?
ReplyDeleteI confuse o
Put her in prayer. Her tooth was the "CAUSER" of all these confusions..don't be surprised what she going to write next
DeleteAm in love with a man who is twice my age and I don't care what people say. Its your life so live it. Just stay through to yourself and he acts the MAN. Awaiting wedding bells
Delete@me,myself and i>Pls leave somebody's husband alone..Go and find ur own husband..Love ko,love ni!
DeleteDear poster I dnt see anything wrong in getting married 2 a younger guy as long you guys respect yourselves,my advice is you guyz really don't have 2 tell anybody your age,just keep it between you guys.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong as far as the man is mature and responsible. @poster jes do u'r thing. Try to look younger on d intro day. Make hairstyles like pony tail or Ghana weave all back an no too much make up. That way dey won't be able to guess your age if you don't tell.
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Babe yu are really disturbing urself i swear... This dude loves yu so i see no reason for panic abeg.....
*GLO BRING 3G TO KONTAGORA*
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
I can't imagine myself dating a younger guy. Aburo mi ti mi wa way older than? Ah! If a guy younger than I am asks me out sef, I go land am dirty slap. Arinfin! I be hin mate? Mtchheeew!
ReplyDeletePoster, do you look that old? Must you tell his parents you are older? Simple arithmetic, una go just dey complicate matters.
Shut your local mouth who is asking u for advice? Queen of the bush....na your type dey advice person? It's ur type u expect every body to give u respect Cos of age as if na one big deal.... Arrogant mofo
DeleteStay there make pant and bra they wear you. Abi your breast na Diamond or your pussy na gold wey younger guy won't be able to approach you.
DeletePlease, you guys should forgive arabella, her ignorance no be here o!.she just a child
DeleteIsaac and anony, na my comment dey make una dey pour saliva all over the place like this? Hian! Your responses shows you are from irresponsible homes and the women in your families are wayward. I mean why else would you think it's okay for a woman to be serviced for the rest of her life by someone she's old enough to be his mom? Abi because una dey lick una great grandma's tohtoh means everybody must be okay with dating a younger guy? I REPEAT, if a younger guy approaches me, ama whoze him a hot slap. Oya, bring police or jump off a cliff. Mahà ukà cii set of riffraffs.
Delete@Arabela, you just displayed the highest level of foolishness. Its a sign you won't be a good mother. Work on ur words because u sound more like an empty barrel
DeletePeople should learn dat in every issue every1 z entitled to his|her opinion so make una free Bella Jare...So everybody must marry dia pikin mate bcos Age z just a number...Abeg make una swerve.
DeleteYou cannot give birth to someone 5yrs your junior, and no one is saying you should date someone 15-30 yrs your junior, so stop exaggerating. No one is even saying you should date anyone younger, it's your choice; but for the women that choose to, it's also fine. Besides, I see you're sooo against dating someone younger but I'm sure you'll be fine with dating a guy 10-20 yrs older because " that's acceptable" and "the nigerian/african culture approves". My dear, that is just another brainwashing technique for dirty old men to keep having access to young girls. You better open your eyes WIDE. Old men that would have slept with all the women while they were young, caught all sorts of things in the process and now want to settle down with fresh young girls. Be careful what you're buying into and ask yourself WHY first...... Just Saying
Deletekeep faith
ReplyDeleteGo and meet them
I hope he didn't go about telling them your age?
Go and meet her
Make sure she is his mom and not the aranged mom.
Or sugar mom
The queen. ..e never do?
XOXO MYSTERY
Xoxo!!!! I just de hail.
DeleteThey might not approve of you? Is your date of birth tattooed on your forehead?
ReplyDeleteLie about your age to them, as long as your boo knows how old you are and comfortable with it. I honestly wish I can marry someone younger. I am in my late twenties but if I tell you that I'm 19, you won't doubt.
ReplyDeletePoster don't give up your happiness because of age, tell a fucking lie and act cool about it. Btw, why would they be interested in your age? Is it among the criteria too?
Bad belle, why will she lie about her age? What is urs is urs and no mortal being can take it away from you
DeleteMust she tell dem her real age? I dunno why some girls dont have secrets..She should tell them she is 30yrs shikena..Even Genevieve turns 35 yrs evrry year.
DeleteMy dear, get a facelift or do some botox..work on any fine line on ur face and parents won't give a hoot. But I like being the younger though as my oga is 10yrs older than me..he's 37.
ReplyDeleteDafuq!
DeleteShe shud go do botox or facelift just to go see her supposed parents inlaw??
With all that fat na only 27 you be...
Oriegwu
Don't quiet agree with your advise. It sound so fake and I won't advise the poster to consider it.
DeleteDon't quiet agree with your advise. It sound so fake and I won't advise the poster to consider it.
DeleteSo you want her to start looking for a way to make contact with lawani and trigger for advise on her they manage to get married? You forgot lawani has money and business..but in this case, NA reverse be the case
DeleteDon't quiet agree with your advise. It sound so fake and I won't advise the poster to consider it.
DeleteLol ciara..if I use one hand jack u ehn, hahahahaaa..leave my christian mother hand o lol
DeleteAge really doesn't matter in a relationship...but my opinion is be confident in your self and like Stella said shower her with love and leave the rest for God....Besides who's going ask how old you are.
ReplyDeletePeople be inventing worries for themselves! Why not go see the parents 1st then the outcome should make you loose sleep or allow you sleep even better.
ReplyDeleteI like you and your advise
DeleteIt's all about maturity not age. He doesn't have to tell them your age in the first place. I think you're good to go
ReplyDeleteStella post comments now, ogini?
ReplyDeleteSince he is all u want in a man, don't fret,he should be able to convince his people and I don't think he would go about announcing ur age . Though its normal to raise eyebrows but ur man is matured enough to know what he wants,so u don't need to worry,he should do d talking while u jejely keep mute,dey will accept u seeing that's what their son wants.
ReplyDeleteMy dear follow your heart. If the age difference isn't glaring in your looks, keep shut and dont let olofofos hear it. Never spill otherwise they will bash you like tiannah and what's his name again? Or like Lola and Peero. Shush and do your thing. The best easy forward these days is remain coded otherwise the sharks will devour. They hate happiness, progress.....they are nothing but kill joy. So! Swallow 'codein' for the matter.
ReplyDeleteIf your family loves you, they will give their blessings knowing its your happiness and of course i expect them to shush as well. Nobody send anybody town crier with agogo bell to announce.
All the best
Ask toyin Lawani and Lordtrigg for advice.
ReplyDeleteEhen na this lordtrigg I no remember. Lol
DeleteHahaa....this got me laughing so hard......we have lots of examples...but let me remain mute
Delete@Galore
Stella,I'm not sure you read this post before responding. It's the lady who is the narrator here.so u should be telling her to relax and keep hoping all goes well.you responded like ur advising the guy.
ReplyDeleteHekieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Africa is in deep trouble, have you read what Stella wrote properly, please y'all should do us favour from time to time instead of alway be blogs, do pick up academic books that would help your analysis and understanding of issues
DeleteO my God
ReplyDeleteWhy me?
I was there for the christening of my friends first child and now she just put to bed a bouncing baby boy!
To think her first baby is now 5years old!
Hubby's sperm count is 14 million while doctor says i don't realease eggs
God, this is bursting my heart!!!
God pls, have mercy on me
God pls, answer our prayers and make us whole again!
Has d doctor placed u on clomid or hcg shots to make u ovulate? C'mon stop lamenting, u will have kids...do d needful and back it up with prayers.
DeleteCheer up, God is not asleep.
DeleteYour testimony is on the way. E-hugs
The Lord will wipe your tears and give u reasons to laugh. Very soon,people around you will celebrate the birth of ur child with you.
DeleteAmen in Jesus name...sorry dear....the good Lord will answer your prayers and wipe your tears away.....u will surely share ur testimony here on ds blog......
Delete@Galore
Woman, confess positively, this your ID seems like a negative pronouncement. Back to the matter, God's time is the best but position your self with healthy living and continue rejoicing with those that rejoice. Buy Fertilaid for male and female and come back to testify. Stay Positive, Believe and Receive as I await your testimony. Shalom
DeleteHold on a Lil darling. Ur blessings will locate u soon. U shall have ur own children b4 this time nxt year. It brks my heart each time I see or hear of someone seeking the fruit of the womb.i can only imagine the shame, pain & presure they must be going thru. It is well tho
DeleteWOMAN LISTEN & LISTEN VERY WELL BECOS AM GONNA BE VERY RAW .
DeleteFirst of all calm the hell down !
What do you mean by WHY YOU ?
I know is every woman's wish to be MOM , which is normal .
Stop the comparison & focus on research and prayer bcos stress can expand your problem real bad .
What if God have a plan for you and time ?
What if you rush now & have it and maybe, just maybe it turns bad but God forbid it ?
Who are the doctors to stamp your destiny and fate ?
Am saying this because my MOM went through same , married for 12 years , nothing showed, Dad even took her to India according to what they told us . GUESS WHAT ? ? ?
SHE WAS TOLD IN 4 DIFFERENT HOSPITAL THAT HER WOMB WAS TOO SMALL, JUST LIKE A TENNIS BALL !
She came back , and was making arrangement to marry a wife for my dad without his knowledge bcos she was afraid he might pick a wicked woman that will turn her life upside down for her.
God answered her prayers, she got pregnant without knowing, still having her period . The day she gave birth , they taught it was appendix, they laughed at the doctor till her water broke !
Dad said that if he was not there from the beginning to end he will say she did arrangement with the doctor. He cut the cord himself and today she is blessed with 3 stubborn adults and also a grandma !
DON'T FORGET TOLD HER HER WOMB WAS AN APOLOGY & DECORATION !
Now, say this and believe in it, That you must show belly this xmas !
Am not joking, start getting your *babies* items !
Hey, God did it for mom and Hanna . Believe and smile if you don't want to have a ugly baby o o !
BELIEVE WOMAN, BELIEVE & SEE YOUR WORDS MOVE MOUNTAINS IN JESUS NAME, AMEN !
Don't forget to get back here and scream with joy .
By the way, am applying for the position of your babies Godmother now before the rush . So please do consider the application .
Love nwatinti poster , na you dey take style punish yourself for nothing o .
You don't have to worry ahead nne , If he is yours, papa or mama or witchy-witchy no fit enter . So just be yourself . Don't try to act sister Mary for them o o !
Be yourself , no go carry bucket fetch water or begin break firewood or wash in law pant .that's eyeservice . You go girl.
It will happen relax,also your attitude while waiting is important, complaining and asking God questions wont do any good.Just thank him in advance .its well.
DeleteOmg,its well with you.you shall carry your child in your arms okay. Have you heard about clomid.it stimulates ovulation.it has worked for a lot. of women who don't release eggs.talk 2 ur doc about it.
Delete@anonymous 4:19pm, you too much joor.... Where do I send your kiss??? Where is the like button......
Delete@anony 4:19...You deserve 2 gallons of palm-wine,biko you too wise
Delete@womanWithOutAchild....God is working on your miracle,You shall testify and praise him on this blog,with Richard card sef....God bless you darlyn,worry less and pray more
Sisi IBO
MILs don suffer. Stella she said his parents not his Mother. LOL
ReplyDeleteHa!she has to say MIL alone first oo,becos these days MIL can cause a wahala a whole lineage has not experienced since its origin!
DeleteHmmm ok
ust reading comments
ReplyDeleteAge does matter bikonu....u may not know now..but later in future u will regret u married a younger Man....
ReplyDeleteThese guys aren't loyal at all.....Am surr u are the one financing this relationship.......May be he truly loves u...but 9ja context u both will stil have problem, unless u hide ur age from his family...thats only when u can both have peace.......Good luck
@Galore
I'm sure you failed English Language in your WAEC. Dnt see she said the guy bought her a car and has been the head in the relationship. Think with your head and not with your hand
Delete@Issac u had to come and WANK under my comment
DeleteGay Idiot
@Galore
Foolish "Isaki" is a gigolo. You better repent before thunder fires you. Scum!
DeleteDo you have the intention of telling your MIL your age? Abeg leave that side. The age difference is not even that much. That's the trend now, older babes marrying younger guys and nobody knows or cares. Abi you sef look like grandma? If not carry go.
ReplyDeleteWishing you all the best as you prepare to meet her.
ReplyDeleteAeegurl...
Dear poster, in the beginning we sing the song age is just numbers baa?Ok, check this scenario u say u r 39 and the dude is younger with prolly 5 years , i am glad u found love with him but do u know that with age and child bearing women often look older than men with time, or have u not heard this before?I will not say do not go ahead, i will say think about this : 1 After bearing him kids will u still look young and not like his mum? 2 As u both age and he still looks youthful and age starts taking its toll on u will u still stay confident and beautiful in his eyes? If ur answer is yes pls go ahead but if u r not sure my dear port to the next bloke afterall there will still be many fresh dudes out there who wud still make u feel this way.Goodluck my dearest.
ReplyDeleteTrue word,d difference is too much,women age faster than men,with or without child bearing
DeleteDear poster, in the beginning we sing the song age is just numbers baa?Ok, check this scenario u say u r 39 and the dude is younger with prolly 5 years , i am glad u found love with him but do u know that with age and child bearing women often look older than men with time, or have u not heard this before?I will not say do not go ahead, i will say think about this : 1 After bearing him kids will u still look young and not like his mum? 2 As u both age and he still looks youthful and age starts taking its toll on u will u still stay confident and beautiful in his eyes? If ur answer is yes pls go ahead but if u r not sure my dear port to the next bloke afterall there will still be many fresh dudes out there who wud still make u feel this way.Goodluck my dearest.
ReplyDeleteWell,very gud points u raised,and dey are very true!but dat should be left for the bf to worry abt not u!
DeleteAnd also are u aware that at 39 age is really not on the posters side?now dat she has found love and is not marrying cos of pressure,i think we should let them be.
#my50cents dou
Dear poster, in the beginning we sing the song age is just numbers baa?Ok, check this scenario u say u r 39 and the dude is younger with prolly 5 years , i am glad u found love with him but do u know that with age and child bearing women often look older than men with time, or have u not heard this before?I will not say do not go ahead, i will say think about this : 1 After bearing him kids will u still look young and not like his mum? 2 As u both age and he still looks youthful and age starts taking its toll on u will u still stay confident and beautiful in his eyes? If ur answer is yes pls go ahead but if u r not sure my dear port to the next bloke afterall there will still be many fresh dudes out there who wud still make u feel this way.Goodluck my dearest.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, in the beginning we sing the song age is just numbers baa?Ok, check this scenario u say u r 39 and the dude is younger with prolly 5 years , i am glad u found love with him but do u know that with age and child bearing women often look older than men with time, or have u not heard this before?I will not say do not go ahead, i will say think about this : 1 After bearing him kids will u still look young and not like his mum? 2 As u both age and he still looks youthful and age starts taking its toll on u will u still stay confident and beautiful in his eyes? If ur answer is yes pls go ahead but if u r not sure my dear port to the next bloke afterall there will still be many fresh dudes out there who wud still make u feel this way.Goodluck my dearest.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, in the beginning we sing the song age is just numbers baa?Ok, check this scenario u say u r 39 and the dude is younger with prolly 5 years , i am glad u found love with him but do u know that with age and child bearing women often look older than men with time, or have u not heard this before?I will not say do not go ahead, i will say think about this : 1 After bearing him kids will u still look young and not like his mum? 2 As u both age and he still looks youthful and age starts taking its toll on u will u still stay confident and beautiful in his eyes? If ur answer is yes pls go ahead but if u r not sure my dear port to the next bloke afterall there will still be many fresh dudes out there who wud still make u feel this way.Goodluck my dearest.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, in the beginning we sing the song age is just numbers baa?Ok, check this scenario u say u r 39 and the dude is younger with prolly 5 years , i am glad u found love with him but do u know that with age and child bearing women often look older than men with time, or have u not heard this before?I will not say do not go ahead, i will say think about this : 1 After bearing him kids will u still look young and not like his mum? 2 As u both age and he still looks youthful and age starts taking its toll on u will u still stay confident and beautiful in his eyes? If ur answer is yes pls go ahead but if u r not sure my dear port to the next bloke afterall there will still be many fresh dudes out there who wud still make u feel this way.Goodluck my dearest.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, in the beginning we sing the song age is just numbers baa?Ok, check this scenario u say u r 39 and the dude is younger with prolly 5 years , i am glad u found love with him but do u know that with age and child bearing women often look older than men with time, or have u not heard this before?I will not say do not go ahead, i will say think about this : 1 After bearing him kids will u still look young and not like his mum? 2 As u both age and he still looks youthful and age starts taking its toll on u will u still stay confident and beautiful in his eyes? If ur answer is yes pls go ahead but if u r not sure my dear port to the next bloke afterall there will still be many fresh dudes out there who wud still make u feel this way.Goodluck my dearest.
ReplyDeleteYou close to menopause, go and look for your age group. What were you doing in your 20s. If the guy is my brother we gonna do jazz to separate both of you. Bimpe
ReplyDeleteIdiot with dirty ass
DeleteBimpe, elenu yoro is back. never has amything reasonable to say.
DeleteAs far as I am concerned age shouldn't be a barrier. Dear poster do what make u happy. Happiness and compatibility is all that matters. I know of older lady that got married to younger guy and immediately they got married, they got preggy and have a baby now .Africans just like to disturb them selves with frivolity of life. Follow your heart. It isn't necessary for the guy to say your exact age sef .Tell his parent u both are of the same age
ReplyDelete*makes, * she
DeleteAunty stella no confuse your readers biko no be woman dey talk?
ReplyDeleteAnyway I don't dig the age tingy.seems you are both in love and happy with eachother and moreso,you don't have to tell the parent your age naw...No be to meet them?
hian,dont tell dem ur age nw or u reduce it,afterall age just a number
ReplyDeletePeople and double standard,suddenly age is just a number isorai same people that will eat Lola up with this same age palava,I say marry who you love age ko , but its easier said than done lol
ReplyDeleteTo say I'm shocked is an understatement.
DeleteNa real double standards. Reading the comments here shocked me cos d same people that critisized someone for dis same issue are the same people screaming "age is just a number" now. e be like say most people just get personal beef for Lola especially those who believe Peter was not supposed to marry a yoruba lady but they all forgot that is/was where Peter found love and fulfilment.
DeleteSo so just reading comments.
ReplyDeleteAbeg talk jor....
Why should u tell ur future MIL your age biko...are u going for a job interview??
ReplyDeleteUnless facially u look older than him, if not then I don't see why u are worried!!
@Woman without a child. I feel your pain; the Lord feels your pain. I've sat in clinic and counselling session for years before "infertile" women/couples and I've always encouraged them to "look inwards to the most neglected but known issues". It is always easier to look outwards to solve ones problems/challenges but hardly inwards. I'm not saying that this is your case but >80% of folks I've counselled over the years acknowledged this issue. However, if it is not your case, hold on to the creator who made this body to fix it. Please take time and read the scriptural verses; let's go;
ReplyDelete1. ON ABORTIONS:
There is something ABOUT ABORTIONS which I'd like us to see. When one kills (or encourages the killing of; see Prov. 6:16-17) innocent children, the consequences are three. 1. You deny yourself the joy of having a home (remember the Hebrew midwives who spared babies against Pharaoh's advice to kill them; God rewarded them with families; Ex.1) 2. You risk "sudden death" in the hands of another fellow/accidents etc. remember Gen.9:6 and thirdly, you deny yourself eternal life! What a life! God isn't going to call you to glory if you do not repent. Jesus said; come to me all you that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest; that's Matt. 11:28. If you do not repent, you'd keep on laboring for the Serpent. But if you repent and make Jesus your Lord today and begin to read your scriptures; you'd find peace and the above three lots will not be yours. God bless you.
From your narrative, this man loves you. If he's not bothered about your age then relax.
ReplyDeleteStop worrying before the day so it doesn't tell on you. Be confident and happy he accepted to wife you despite the age difference.
Goodluck ahead
I'm not up to 25 but I once dated a guy who's 35, he's the most childish person I've ever met. Truly age is nothing but a number
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same dilemma, only mine slightly different because I have 2 kids and he doesn't have kids just yet. my partner is 5 years younger, we are so in love, but he's from a family that would never allow this to go any further. I have tried reasoning with him to let me go, but he is adamant. He said we don't live in Nigeria anyway, so he thinks it's safe to carry on and get married with or without his family's consent.... I'm just blabbing jare, the thing tire me #sigh
ReplyDeleteHope the guy is not loving you to get residential permits ,since you are not in Nigeria. Please be wise
DeleteDebbie downer aka pealie
DeleteWe both have passport, so no @ Pealie, it's not that... my dear, I know no wetin to do, it's been 20 months of being together. .. I never want to be unhappy or make same mistakes I made in the past, so this time, I'm treading very carefully...
DeletePealie the party pooper.
DeletePoster, do you make more money than him? Just pray about it.
i read dis story somwhere yestda..ppl b sndn dia stories evrywia...if u dnt luk olda dan hm.u gt no reasn to b scared..d age thing cn b btw u n.him abi na age una dey go discuss?
ReplyDeletewow m so sori madam...buh i think ur hubby also has a lil problm..his sperm count is nt suppozd to b less dan 20million..i min normal n viable sperm...plz first of all chng dat name..words n actions r strng.hw cn u name ur slf "woman witout a child".chng it plz..i rejct it for u....God is still God
ReplyDelete.he neva fails...hld on to him.by God u r a mother of nations.amen
If the young man makes you very happy and he is someone you think you really want to grow old with and have his children, then my dear you don't need anybody's approval. It is your life! You owe yourself your happiness and whatever makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteGod knows the number of hairs on your head, how wonderful is that.
Your happiness matters more than anything in the world, he loves u, he treats u right.........pls tell his family u're 30 after all that part is not really their business in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteExcept u don't want to settle down with him
So easy to say say untiill it comes to u live u will knw diaz a big diffRence bw hollywood and nollywood
ReplyDeleteage is just a number follow ur heart.where is pat ogor or so?
ReplyDeleteMy dear. I hope you dont look your age (No offense). Cos mothers really dont like older women getting married to their sons, for all sorts of reasons.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a heart of gold and are a likeable person, so that you can get accepted into his family quickly.
This is for the woman with a child, see how I changed it to woman with a child. you are what you call yourself, you have already labeled yourself a woman without a child. God is still in the business of performing miracles, surrender all to him, and build a personal relationship with him. He has never failed.
ReplyDeleteSee all of them giving fake advise. How many of you would allow your sons marry ' old mama youngi"? Mtschew.
ReplyDeleteWo, Poster, you berra gaaan find ya mate marry, kilode gan?cradle snatcher. Shiorrrr
All these old mama youngies snatching young girls boyfriends and marrying them since 1900, askor ooo.
Don't mind her. ...I'm sure she has grey hair down there.
DeleteSwits kilode?? Y are u guys this bitter?
DeleteAge is nothing but a number but in our Nigerian culture it is frowned at when a man brings someone older than him as a wife sha o. I have a friend who is dating a younger man we all know it won't work out cos he is ibo and the first child for that matter.
ReplyDeleteYour boo should not let his family know that you're older. Trust me they must try to stop him. I wish you well dear.
ReplyDeleteStop creating worries where there is none.
ReplyDeleteYou ve not met his family yet nw. Just be positive. Age is nothing but a num
ReplyDeleteTo be sincere with you, age difference really matters in this part of the world especially when it is the woman that is older than the man like we have in ur case.
ReplyDeleteIf ur parents-in-law to be are elightened, they may not see it as an issue even if they are aware but my dear,if not.....hmmm,there could be some little issues and that is where your man comes in. With ur description,i think he is a nice person and am sure he already knows the kind of parents he has. Even if issues arise, i think he will be able to fight for what he wants. In other words, the outcome of ur visit depends on how enlightened his parents are and/or how ready ur man is to fight for you if issues arise. Be optimistic,be urself and hope for d best.
May God see u tru dear...all these my fellow BVs saying age is just a no...hmmm...I comment my reserve
ReplyDeleteI asked myself the other day.... can U marry a guy you are older than? And I answered: YES, as long as he is matured.
ReplyDeleteMy dear I give you he same answer.
love concurs all.,as far as u both re inlove,dont think age is a disturbance.but dont tell the parents ur real age just try and say sometin 34
ReplyDeletelove concurs all.,as far as u both re inlove,dont think age is a disturbance.but dont tell the parents ur real age just try and say sometin 34
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe quote, "age is nothing but a number",is relative and not absolute. It depends on certain factors. For example, 25 and 50 are numbers, yeah? Assuming your 25 year old son or brother brings home a 50 year old woman, will you justify that with the quotation? Personally, I feel age plays a major role in any relationship, moreso as age isn't directly proportional to maturity. It depends on the people involved. Age affects sexual compatibility as well. It is highly unlikely that a 50 year old man can "work it" as good as a 25 year old dude or a 45 year woman be as agile and "bendy" as a hyperactive 21 year old lady. It isn't impossible but highly unlikely.
ReplyDelete
In my opinion, the age difference in the instant case falls within what I consider the "reasonable range". It appears her boo is ok with it. However, women tend to age faster than men and as men get older, some become attracted to younger girls all in a bid to justify their "manly abilities". Sweetie, I hope you are confident enough to ignore the advances of younger ladies to your hubby. Can you cope with the snide remarks some people may throw at you? Young love and romance can be intoxicating but reality sets in sooner or later. During a lover's brawl, if your hubby hits below the belt with the age thingy, can you overlook it? Honey, I'm not trying to rain on your parade, I just want you to consider all the possible outcomes. It's heartrending enough when a hubby older than his wife, starts keeping younger side chics, let alone when the wife is older than he. Make sure you build up your confidence and self worth so you don't have to keep second guessing yourself later down the line or get worked up if you notice your hubby admiring younger ladies.
As for your in-laws, they may be ok with your union if you show them how much you love their son. It's also a plus if he looks older than you and not the other way around. I just pray they don't start getting all up in your grill about popping out kids before the honeymoon is over. You know the typical mentality on older brides and child bearing, especially in Africa. I wish it all works out well for you.
One million likes!!
DeleteI love ur intelligence Ronaldo!! Wow!
Wow....you deserve an award for this write up. Brilliant!
DeletePinky Berry and Chichi baby, thanks my lovelies. *blowing e-kisses*
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Delete@ Ronalda lol another sdk lecturer, you've said it all.
DeleteLol! Hello Jay, how have you been? Your "deep forensic investigative journalism" always cracks me up. The way you fish out inconsistencies in blog visitors' comments, is classic! You've succeeded in intimidating a couple of "fiction writers" to go underground. Thanks for easing up, though. Enjoy the rest of your week. #e-bearhugs.
DeleteAge is nothing but a number but in our Nigerian culture it is frowned at when a man brings someone older than him as a wife sha o. I have a friend who is dating a younger man we all know it won't work out cos he is ibo and the first child for that matter.
ReplyDeleteLol! I'm in exactly the same situation. But he's even the only son and we're kinda from different tribes. Though I'm only 3yrs older than my man, I was a little worried about it at first but right now, my mind is at rest. And guess what? It will work. Both families have met and we're all like one big happy family now. I'm generally a humble and friendly person, I look way younger than my age (early 30s) but always get confused for someone 7-10yrs younger; I'm not sure if that's why the age difference didn't really affect us or anybody else. I also know his mom knows my age because I heard him telling her on my birthday and she seems fine with it. I wish Nigerians will stop this age-thing with women, a lot of potential happy families have lost their opportunities to be happy because of this backwardness. As long as two people are in love and want to be together, I see no reason to go against it. What we should be discouraging and frowning at are the old men marrying their children's/grandchildren's age mates just because they have money
DeleteHow am i confusing people?i was advising the poster to shower her mother in love with love and leave the rest to God.
ReplyDeleteI have read my intro and conclusion and i do not see where i misled anyone..please stop reading abstractly jooor..lol
Over-rushing dey worry u,which one be mother in love
DeleteI LOVE YOU STELLA ! ! !
DeleteIF that is your real age then no wahala. It is just that my middle finger is tell MOI another age. lol.
ReplyDeletePoster are u guys planning on telling his parent ur age? Don't panic yet just go and see them first and know the kind of people they are. If worst comes to worst ur man should b able to defend you. Mak I stop hia cos dis MB go soon finish.
ReplyDeleteDo whatever makes you happy! Pay no attention to naysayers
ReplyDeletewoman without a child.. what kinda rubbish name did you crown yourself?? no vex me o! before I open my eyes reject that name for yourself. OYA!
ReplyDeleteyou are a woman with a child filled in your reproductive system. You are just holding brief for God to perfect the timing for them to pop.
dry your tears and praise the lord for your testimony is about to be told!
Madam with 19 years hubby age difference. Just do your maths very well before the man hits 70. If not he will be 80 and his children will be 10. "Old man marriage sweet my ass."
ReplyDeleteAm a year older than my bf he has never thought of it for once in fact he is talking about marriage and am sure is he gonna propose anytime soon. Age is nothing but a no
ReplyDeleteAm a year older than my bf he has never thought of it for once in fact he is talking about marriage and am sure is he gonna propose anytime soon. Age is nothing but a no
ReplyDeleteToo many peeps be coming here forming liberal mind...how many of you will be comfortable if your brother or even your son brings home a much older lady as wife?
ReplyDeleteNow because its happening to someone unknown to you, age has suddenly become a number, abi? Keep deceiving yourselves...they'll be giving advise they cant utilize for their personal lives....Shior
Having stomach ache joor,am looking for someone to spend my Xmas with
ReplyDeleteRonald I can officially become a lesbian because of you! I love love love your comment!
ReplyDeleteAt poster the age difference between you and your man, is much but can be overlooked if the bond and love is really strong. Don't worry if he's yours everything would work out,Age truly is not maturity. When I met my boyfriend he thought I was in my mid 20s and I was just 18 ooo. See shock when he suggested something about the bar and I told him "errmm, I'm not 19 yet"(Canadian legal age). He thought I was lying until I brought out awon gbogbo passport ati study permit ati work permit etc. He still couldn't believe me.Mind you he was 29 then, but all things worked out and we are still together. His freinds don't know my age sha, before they would start viewing me with one kin eye like that.
Anyways ,don't worry if he is yours, he is yours.On a more serious note, Ronalda don't turn me into a lesbian oo, I intelligent women like you, it's refreshing that women like you still exist and don't jump on the band wagon.Anything more than 5 yrs is much IMO, but the 6 can be overlooked.BTW, Cougars rock!
@ LADY BUCHI; Looooool!!! You flatter me. Apparently, you and I have something in common...no, not hot Lesbian fantasies, I'll forever prefer being "bentoutta shape" by a heterosexual Alpha male, with a testosterone overdrive like my studilious hubby. But you and I are sapiosexual and I like that.
Delete#e-bearhugs.
poster dis ur age difference is not too wide, u wil be surprised some older men are highly irresponsible like one man i used to know...........mtshew. Follow ur mind, what u hav is not a prob @ all
ReplyDeleteLove conquers all, even age.
ReplyDeleteI meant telling MOI.
ReplyDeleteOP, I pray that they accept you. I really pray they do. But Nigerians are not only old fashioned, but the older generation... they are still in the Stone age.
ReplyDeleteFor me to marry my husband wey senior me with six months sef, na talk here, talk there just because I don reach 35.
Pray, commit it to God and hope for the best. And be prepared to fight for your own happiness and his.
Good luck with meeting the in-laws.
I'm 2yrs older dan my hubby, we have a very healthy marriage. I love my MIL n vice versa, we have a baby with another on the way. So dear poster I say Go for it! I wld have sold myself short if I didn't marry hubby cos of age. Just take care of urself n keep fit. The love will keep you young-looking unlike if u were married to an older man who doesn't make u happy. Respect ur man n everything will be smooth sailing.
ReplyDeleteSome guys are funny ohhh. I dated a guy I was 2yrs older than,I this guy knew I was older than him yet he went ahead to ask me out. I turned him down cos of the age difference but he was adamant and said age is not a factor that we don't need to inform family. ...After given him my consent and started dating he changed mouth and said he can't lie to his parents bla bla of course I dumped him afterwards. So my dear sis be careful ad be sure. All the best.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, since you said the guy loves and ready to marry you please keep the age difference to yourself, then pray for God's favour when you meet with your In-laws.
ReplyDeleteI just got engaged to a man am 4 years and a few months older than, trust me he's the best man to have come my way....
Before then, I also met someone who was like 5 years older than me but guess what he was not even ready to let me meet his family talkless of marriage.
Pray on it and be calm...
Most older men reeks of insecurity.
DeleteThe older they gets, the more insecure they become.
Very very true. I was dating a guy 10yrs older. I noticed that he wad quite insecure about a lot of things, I was even cutting a lot of friends off because he kept suspecting they would corrupt me etc. but when I noticed that he wasn't as matured as should be and wasn't showing the signs of seriousness one would expect from someone his age. I quickly dumped him before he wastes my youth away and still end up disappointing me. Now I'm engaged to someone 3 yrs younger than I am and he's the best thing that ever happened to me. I was hesitant at first because of the age difference but then I compared him -a loving, caring, considerate, emotionally stable and serious younger guy to the older guy who was paranoid as heck and basically good-for-nothing (relationship/seriousness-wise); I knew my hesitation had no basis.
DeleteAge is nothing but a number. And the man being older does always equal to maturity. I have always been asked out by younger men and trust me they always shown better qualities than this one guy that was older than me by 15 years. The older man was just toasting me but unknown to me he was going everywhere saying I was his girl. And the nonsense that use to come out of his mouth made me wonder. And he was trying to control me. So I saw no future with him. Just pray to God and all will be well. As long as ur man loves you and you respect him and ur MIL. All is going to be ok IJN.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine the $2,000 words that will fly from ronalda's lips when she's enraged.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteI am older than my husband and he knows; as well as our friends because we've been friends for almost 10 years before we got married.
I am not sure his parents or any siblings know my age but right now i really don't care because he is a wonderful husband and better than the Man i was supposed to marry who was 6 years older than me who always told me to kneel and beg anytime we had a misunderstanding during courtship. I am happy he left me for good and this younger Man is amazingly amazing>>>
You don't have to lie/tell any one about your age; just be sure it is God's will./..,that is the most important.
SDK said shower "her" as in mother-in-law with love.
ReplyDeletestill responding to the poster refering to her (mil)mother inlaw.
There is nothing confussing...you need to read again...
A good man is a good man, regardless of his age.
ReplyDelete