Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm....

  NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE

ITS COMPLICATED.

I've been holding back on sending in my chronicle but i think its time I do. I advise people on relationship issues but maybe things are easier said than done in my case. To the main point: I've been in a relationship for 2 years now, my boyfriend is a quiet guy, rarely talks and thats my problem. Sometimes I feel I'm all alone in it, he's a good listener but he won't talk. We stay in different states and see like 3-4 times a year. 

So we see like one week or 2 during every visit.

He has this very close friend or best friend who was all up on his case,they have been childhood friends. it was like his life revolved round the guy , even if i visit and the guy calls, he goes running to him. When his friend is around, he's a shadow of himself, he won't talk and laugh or even touch me in anyway cos his friend will tease him. The friend got married few months back and things kinda changed.

My boyfriend is always fine, he never tells me when something is wrong. When something happens, i get to hear it from his siblings and that is if it's so serious that he shares it with his dad. He can tell me after some days or weeks or not say it at all.He finds it difficult expressing how he feels. He sends me messages telling me he loves me once in a while but he doesn't act it. He's the only son and has been pampered and spoilt so loving me the way i want is difficult for him. Those early times, he used to get me gifts but now, though hes having issues at work he doesn't do anything more than pay my way and feed me when i come to see him.even my birthday, he didn't get anything. 

I just feel he knows i'll give excuses for him so he doesn't go the extra mile to make me happy. I've complained countless times about his not talking to me and he promises to change each time i do.He acts alright for few days and go back to his quiet mode. His sisters complain he just doesn't talk to anyone and I should understand. Well I can't cope with someone I talk to, tell him when things are right and wrong with me but he can't talk to me. He can call at night to find out how i am and how my day was but when i ask how was your day? All i get is "it was fine" no gist, no nothing.

 The whole phlegmatic part of him is annoying. I don't know what else to do. If i need something, i have to ask before I get, i just want him to be a little more understanding and sensitive. I surprise him wit stuff and all i get is a message saying thank you. My ex was the opposite of him, hes a sanguine, always lively and gists and I kinda miss him, he always wants us to go out and buys stuff for me even if its 10naira sweet, but I left him cos he was too jealous and had anger issues. I met my boyfriend, we became friends and then we took things further, I never really had an issue then but now, its killing me.

Two years has been a mixture of laughter and tears, i just catch myself wishing for more. Sometimes I discover i've called the whole week and he's called maybe twice, when i complain he says, you called and we spoke so why should I call? I purposely choose not to call most time. The day he wakes up on the right side, he'll call all day and tell me he misses me. If we chat he probably won't call cos he already knows how i'm doing. He calls every 30mins when I'm ill or I'm travelling, I can't be ill everyday neither can I travel everyday. His sisters complain they don't hear from him when they go to school for a whole semester except they call.And he's saying marriage next year. 

I think I'm tired of typing. Am I the only one with such a man? Please, you guys should say something to me and please Stella tell me if I'm asking for too much or if it's me who isn't satisfied.

A Marriage without communication will not go far,if you are complaining now about all these,i wonder what will happen when you marry him.If he is not what you want then dont marry him..If you cant change anyone before Marriage,you also cannot change them after marriage...Do not settle for less.

You are the only one who knows what you want my dear.

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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
UGLY PAST COMES CALLING...

Stella please I really need help.i met my fiancé about 5 months ago while abroad though he's Nigerian.

Hes 32 while I'm 21 but age is just a number cause we've done my introduction already.We actually moved to Abuja Nigeria 2 weeks ago to further our marriage plans.Now 4days ago I went to medix to pick up some things and I saw this married man I dated for 1 year,and this was 4years ago.

My aunt introduced me to him at that time.This man was really nice though he's the one that disvirgined me.he bought me and my aunt a car,rented us a house,paid for our trips around different parts of the world.He loved me so much that he abandoned his wife and 2 children to stay with me.

His family and everyone got to know about me and did all they could to terminate the relationship but it didn't work.My aunt never saw anything wrong In it and even pushed me to continue.The wife had to even file for a divorce but he wasn't even moved by it.She even started calling me to beg her husband to give her money to take care of her and her children.I got tired of the whole thing and planned to go far from him.

I got an admission abroad and lied to him I wanted to go for a surgery he gave me a huge amount of money and that's how he never saw me till few days ago.He got my contact from a friend Now he's threatening me to come back for he still loves me and he doesn't mind ending his marriage after all he did it before and that if I don't come back he'd tell the world what we shared...

I can't imagine how my fiancé will feel if he finds out a man of 54 disvirgined me when I was 17........Please bvs who has been in my situation help a girl out.

What is the issue here?everyone has a past and if you are about to marry someone who cannot deal with an ugly past then theres trouble.
You have two choices and one of it is a NO NO NO!

-Go back to your married boyfriend to avoid him spilling or spilling it to your man yourself and pray that God gives you wisdom to handle the Ricochet .