Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Emergency Room Series - Social Discrimination

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Thursday, February 08, 2018

Emergency Room Series - Social Discrimination

There's something I've noticed about couples who come to the hospital, most of them are not being totally honest with each other about their state of health.





I've seen men(mostly) with conditions like tuberculosis, hepatitis, gonorrhea and HIV who manage the conditions on their own, take the necessary medications and yet choose to hide it from their spouse. I feel its because there's some kind of stigma attached to having conditions like that. 



For men living with HIV, the annoying part is that despite the fact that they are aware of their status, they still cheat on their wives or girlfriends, keep multiple partners and have children out of wedlock thereby increasing the rate at which the disease spreads. I know quite a lot of them who have the boldness to bring their wives and concubines to the same hospital for treatment (not HIV related treatment).


The frustrating part of it is that medical staffs can't do anything about it. Its against the law for me or any other hospital staff to reveal the status of a patient(especially HIV and hepatitis) to another party even if its for the benefit of the person.


I don't really see any difference between people living with HIV or hepatitis and people living with hypertension and diabetes. What's the difference asides the fact that its sexually transmitted? Does that make it a death sentence? Don't they all require drugs to live longer? Dont they all require diet modifications to live longer? This stigma really has to stop. HIV simply means your body can't defend itself against infections so it needs the help of drugs.


A male patient who works in a financial institution once told me to edit his referral letter/medical report because it stated he had HIV complications (reason he was admitted) and he would need to drop the letter at work, I wasn't even the one who wrote the letter initially. He knew he could lose his job if the office gets to know. It shouldn't be that way. His wife isn't even aware of his status because he feels she might leave him and he uses anti retroviral drugs while she doesn't.


Society is very quick to judge people living with HIV or hepatitis. They hardly get great jobs to work as only few people want to employ them. They feel you can only get it from sedentary or promiscuous lifestyles. That's very wrong and untrue. I once had a 10year old male patient living with full blown AIDS and both parents were negative. How do you explain that?


If you're one of those looking down on people living with HIV like they just signed a death sentence, I hope you change and see them differently. They need all the love and care that every other person deserves. They can live and work for many years as long as they use their meds., do you even know your status? Do you know that of your boyfriend or girlfriend you're having unprotected sex with? Do you know the status of that friend you share needles with to inject hard drugs? Do you know the status of that barber that uses the same clipper he has used on his head and others on your hair too? Do you know the status of your hair stylist who reuses needles to make your hair.


We can be so insensitive of our own health but very quick to judge others. Learn to love everyone regardless of their health conditions. It doesn't only apply to HIV or hepatitis but also epilepsy, mental diseases, tuberculosis , cancer and every other chronic health condition. Everyone deserves to be loved and be happy. Thank you


P.S: Although I don't read comments for every post but I've read a few arguments about if the poster is a nurse or Nigeria trained. Yes, I'm a Nurse, Nigeria trained and super proud to be one. Why is that strange?. 


To the majority who learn from these series posts, thank you for doing that. 

Good health can be expensive and I'm using my voice and profession to educate people in the best ways I can so as to avoid preventable diseases and reduce health cost. 

There's no greater joy than caring for someone and watching them get well. It gives you a great sense of fulfillment. 

Have a beautiful day everyone!


*So proud of you Honey...The money wey them take send you go school no waste at all!

25 comments:

  1. I think the code should be broken. Not good wives will be suffering from what they dont know.

    Nurse try and help people who have spouses that dont know their better half are POSITIVE. it will help a long way.

    Fine the stigma is there but a lot have overcome this stigma and embrace their family members

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  2. Theres is sth else I've noticed here on SDK. Whenever a BV sends a chronicle about suspecting a partner of cheating, you read comments like....'HIV is real; 'Wait until you catch HIV'.
    I know it comes from a good place and its true that women need to protect their health, but I also think it fosters ignorance and discrimination against the disease. There are HIV patients who got infected due to no fault on their part. I wonder how they feel when they read such comments.

    Let us all sound our warnings but be more sensitive to those who have found themselves in such a challenging situation.

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    Replies
    1. Sadly I am in the same dilemma. I have died a thousand times as I do not know how I got the disease. The two relationships I had prior to when i checked my hiv status, they turned out negative with proof. I am 29 years old, no job, no life partner, no child and living with a disease I still don't know how I got. When I read the way people mock and say things I just want to end it. I am still alive because of my parents. I live with them. I don't want them to cry for me. I have nothing else to live for. I am tired. I just want to rest. The shame and pain is just to much for me. I am tired. I never imagined that I will go through this kind of thing in my life. I was not a saint but I don't deserve what is happening to me right now. Since august last year my life has changed. Right now I am just holding on to the last threshold. I will end it very soon.

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    2. Please don't end your life. There's still hope

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  3. Well I don't blame those people that don't disclose to their partner before marrying them. Cos Nigerians mentality is still very low,if u tell them dey won't marry u and dey won't still keep your secret for u. I am a female and am HIV positive and I choose not to infect anyone but when am in a serious relationship and I discuss it with my partner d person suddenly Run away in such situations what do u expect me to do? I want to get married and b loved too or will I remain single for d rest of my life?

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  4. women are especially guilty of this discrimination, my wife had to use my low sperm account against me,even as i spent alot on our fertility treatment can u imagine dat.some people find it easier to confide in others than their wives bcos of reasons

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    Replies
    1. Eyah, pls pray and be patience with her. My hubby stopped calling me barren after we did tests and found out he has less than 5m with low motility and mobility too.

      I have prayed to God never let me use my mouth to mock him no matter how provoked I am cos I know how the feeling, is like a knife going through the heart and soul, and his own heart may not handle it well cos he is diabetic and hypertensive too.

      But guess what? There is peace now cos he is the one at fault even though his people think is me.

      Then our doc will be wondering why no pregnancy even when I shoot out 2-3 eggs on natural cycle, till he insisted on testing hubby.

      Is well dear just keep praying.

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  5. This is sad. It is well. Besides you are doing a very very good job on this segment. I learn like mad on your post.

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  6. Quack nurse unintelligentsia princess... come n see ur mate.

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  7. Nurse, thank you so much for this write up. That was how people distanced and mocked one man even his own family. it was the same and the stigmatization that ended his life fast.

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  8. My husband is the worst person to reveal such a confidential information,he will so use it at every point in time.some men are just like that!

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  9. they once brought a maid for me who was hiv 1 & 2 positive, another had hepatitis B, the only reasons i rejected them was because my kids are small and some of these people can be very wicked. they will deliberately infect the kids. and for your info, my mum is HIV positive and she is on her ARV, i have never told this to a soul except my dad who infected her and he is late now.

    some men are very wicked, he knew and still infected her. it is well fellas

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  10. I'm a construction worker. I once worked in a community where hiv was 7o%. Once you arrive the site part of the induction process was on hiv and how to keep yourself hiv free. That experience made we work with hiv positive colleagues as cleaners, etc. The only restriction is that they were not allowed to work in the kitchen or the clinic. But since it was a relatively small community they knew who had it because the persons had to make quarterly trips to the teaching hospital, queue up for retrovirals. Some people made it their business to go and see who was on the queue.
    But i made some great friends who are hiv positive, are still alive and still my friends today. But that experience helped expose me to the fact that being hiv is just like having any other medical condition. It prepared me for a future i couldn't see. Few years later i lost my brother to hiv. He was too embarrassed to get early treatment when he discovered his status. He was brought back to us when he was far gone. Please bvs be kind to people with hiv. It could happen to anyone.

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  11. Nurse, if u cant tell some of these women physically, is there no way u can guide dem to find out on their own?

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    Replies
    1. They'll know its the nurse eventually and would lose her license

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  12. Nurse, please don't tell them before you will lose your license. Don't use emotions at all . Some people are not matured in handling life issues before they will land you in big shit all because you want to help someone.

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  13. Thumbs up Madam Nurse.. Educative write up!

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  14. Can a medical practitioner here please balance the Hippocratic Oath "to save a life...I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure..." against the argument of, doctor/patient's confidentiality. I mean in a situation of Hepatitis, HIV..., I will think the best way to save lives to to bring all parties up to speed on the status of ill people they are involved with, as in, to save their lives while they still can. It should be a criminal offence in my opinion if such status is not made known to an unsuspecting innocent person on the basis of doctor/patient confidentiality. In my opinion, not telling the innocent party is tantamount to the medical practitioner breaking his/her oath to uphold/save a life.

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  15. Thanks poster, I really do learn a lot here

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  16. Welldone my favourite nurse. I always look forward to ER series

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  17. Nurse, i like how you presented this. It's far better than saying a middle aged man blah blah came with his wife and mistress . Please this your new format is E ducative and gets the message across clearly and you are definitely not breaking any ethical codes. Continue the good work, God bless you.

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  18. please don't take your life. there is hiv group on facebook, please endeavor to join and mingle with them. you need love from people.

    ReplyDelete

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