Hmmmm.........
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TIRED AND BOTHERED
Hi Madam Stella.
I don't know where this fits but please permit me to request for advise and maybe help.
The issue is I get bothered easily. Things get to me easily and I spend my time pondering and replaying what people say to me, reactions and actions too. This at times pushes me into a corner where I don't want to relate with people.
Same with work. I work my ass out and even work extra which is not being appreciated most times. I can't even tell my team members what our supposed supervisor said to me in the the presence of people today.
My morale is dead!
I am tired.
I have cried my eyes out. And I am away from home for same job we are not appreciated for. I missed my baby's birthday for same job (six months contract job). I want out but I can't. The job is mentally and physically tasking.....A well done will not be bad.
I need advise please. Ever felt same way? How did sort yourself?
Thank you Stella
I need advise please. Ever felt same way? How did sort yourself?
Thank you Stella
*I dont think the Job is the problem,you appear burnt out and need a break from working....why not talk time off if you can before you fall into depression?
Take time off and find yourself......
You are falling into a deep place and it's not good for you. For whatever reason there maybe please try and see a therapist or someone you can pour your heart to. You'll be fine. It is well.
ReplyDeleteMr or Mrs have you heard of the word, LEAVE or VACATION??????
DeleteThat is what u need, u see why the white people do not play with 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 go on leave pls, stay with your family, apply for jobs with your experience. Outermost is that look yourself in the Mirror like what Cee c did and appreciate your self. Hardwork pays, my dear one day someone will fish you out and your glory will shine
Hugsssssssss 😘😘😘😘😘😘
That "baby" is it your child or Boyfriend?
ReplyDeleteHehehehe Wetin concern u? Aproko lol
DeleteYou need Toke or Mercy skin.
ReplyDeleteOk 👍🏻
DeleteGive yourself that break, change your environment..
ReplyDeleteGo out more and have fun.
Go to cinemas, have time for your kids..
If u have enough capital, start a business ..
All these employers trying to milk emotions outta person
Emotionally, you are not balanced for the job. so why not take some time off to rest and rest again. You will be fine after that.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is that your employer owes you no appreciation, you signed a contract and as long as he/she pays you then you have a duty to deliver
ReplyDeleteLife is a survival of the fittest. The earth would not stop spinning because you get hurt or bothered easily.
To survive and prosper in a country like ours, you have to put on your big girl panties. Your needs will not pause while you look for a job where you are appreciated.
Give your best at your job and in due time, you will be rewarded, or at least you will get enough experience to switch to better job.
You need to focus less on emotions and input and more on logic and output. Your kid(s) is/are looking up to you. You have to be a pillar.
Couldnt have said it any better!!! 👍👍👍
DeletePlease leave that work environment. I resigned from my position at the bank last year due to unhealthy work rivalry( one day I'll call out union bank). I'm not dead even if I haven't gotten another job. Is it sexual harrassment? Envy from bosses and subordinates? Taking credit for a job I did. My dear I had to run when my bp started over shooting. My manager was the devil himself . All because I refused to sleep with him. One day sha
Delete@ Retired slay queen: going by your comment up there, you would be a terrible boss. Yes, she is there to work but how do you expect her to function properly in a toxic workplace?
DeleteI have sent some kisses from my luscious natural pink lips to you.
DeleteKING XOXO MYSTERY
@ RSQ Ohhhhhhh plssssssssssssss
DeleteYour 1st n 2nd parargraph is quiet hash common
The poster is down already u do not need to pull him or her down
Poster apply for LEAVE. You need rest, instead of
waiting for people to appreciate u why not appreciate yourself.
I did that to myself recently and i am so happy right now, one of the things i did was i bought a nice gift for myself that i saw in Duty free, i was even happy they were doing sales, bought for myself and even for my Mum. In essences it was an appreciation gift to myself.
Poster, dont wait for people to appreciate you, appreciate your self 😗😗😗😗😗😗
Horny*
ReplyDeleteSugar
DeleteAhh Poster this is so me. I can dwell on things for so long when hurt and I always withdraw too. If given a task I put in my all and I dislike it when after giving so much I get ridiculed for it.
ReplyDeleteWell. Recently it happened again, something played out I dwelt on it for long, it stole my happiness, peace and productivity. I shut everyone out but early this month I heard pastor say
"don't think bacause you are nice the world will be nice to you too. Don't let them change you. Whatever you do give it your very best and be really good at it, if anything goes wrong and they talk you down cos of it because of how good you were, they will surely need you back. Just do your part and do it well."
What I do now is not to expect much from anyone. That way they won't get at me with anything. Try it poster. Whatever you do see it as you building yourself and growing not for applauds. If it comes too no wahala.
poster I feel your pain. am in the same shoe.
ReplyDeletePut your faith in God.
ReplyDeleteYou have to learn the act of self motivation.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what your supervisor said to you.Let's assume he said "you are stupid" my dear don't let such words crush you since you are not stupid.Just keep doing your work & it will speak for you.However, if he said "you are not productive" then it means you need to put more effort in your work for appraisal purposes.
I can relate to an extent.Mine was the owner of the company who used to praise my effort @ work all of a sudden started attacking me.I go home crying most times cos I know the effort i put in my job.If it was a supervisor I won't mind cos he/she doesn't pay my salary but when it's the owner of the company then it's serious.I resigned when i couldn't take it anymore without a plan B and it wasn't easy afterwards.(Resign only if you have a PLAN B.)
My dear,In a work enviroment you should be your greatest cheer leader else you will always be sad.
My confidence in everything I do is that God who sees our secret efforts will reward us openly.
Stella you swallow my comment and didn't vomit it here nawao
ReplyDeleteAnony Owambe
Stop swelling on negative things people say to you
ReplyDeletePeople Often See Me As A Strong Woman And which i always think i am,but in truth i am not even close to being strong.i jst want peace and happiness but life is offering me the opposite. AM JUST TIRED OF EVERYTHING.
ReplyDeleteOga that cheated on his wife and she wants out. Please give her time to heal. Meanwhile,sign a treaty with a good lawyers including trusted allies to make it authentic that all your assets will go to your wife and kids if you ever cheats on her again. That would check mate you anything the urge comes up. Keep trying to win her back but don't ever hurt her again
ReplyDeleteOh! So this is where I posted it.
DeletePoster, please think of what will make you happy. Some employers will never appreciate you outwardly but deep down in their heart you're appreciated.
Focus on the outcome and be hopeful for a better opportunity.
Six months will soon pass. Focus and do a good job
ReplyDeleteIf I could survive all the insults I received during my banking days,I can survive anything. Days of heartache and tears. The day I decided to dobmybjob to the best of my ability and not let anyone get yo me with bad words was the day I became a happier person. I became a wall,nothing ever got to me again. Poster, you need to get to this point. Do your job well and ignore any other side talks/ insults. Don't resign o,naija is not smiling. I'm still regretting that decision.
ReplyDeleteYou regret leaving your bank job? Really? Even though you weren't
Deletehappy doing it? Trust me, your peace of mind and health is worth much more...
Poster this is me. I dnt think you have a problem, although I had depression for a year plus. All u need is love ones around you. Go out often, please make new friends. When I feel like jumping into river I just go and sleep in chapel. I became that way because I was heart broken, immediately I found love I felt normal again. Time will heal you dear. Please nothing is wrong with you, time will heal you.
ReplyDeleteMy dear i face that at my work place too, not just my HOD that will never appreciate whatever you do no matter the effort you put or the sidelining and making you feel not relevant but including my colleagues too. I have made y mind to be happy with myself and also praying for another job. Everyone hoards all information and they want to make you look stupid.
ReplyDeletePlease be happy with yourself and manage the place for the now, also put in your utmost and look for a plan B. Don't let depression set in or else you will hate yourself and the company will be continue to exist.
All i do is pray to God because he is greater than the greatest. At my work place, no smiles, laughs or discuss. We all always serious because of the saddest we have as a boss. Make yourself happy and ask God to take you to a better place where you can be appreciated and have peace of mind.
It is well and everything will be fine. No be only you waka come ooo, a lot persons do face these challenges everyday.
God bless you. It's even worse when the sadness is caused by colleagues. People you have no choice than to work with everyday. The backbiting and gossip, no be here o.
DeleteGo to YouTube and search for an account called "The School of Life". Their videos are like a virtual therapist. They will explain your behaviour to you and how to handle it. Therapists here might be too expensive, but if you find a good one, pay for at least 3 sessions.
ReplyDeleteAs per the job. Give yourself 9 months. Within the 9 months, you will basically slave off to safe an emergency fund. Also, dedicate 3 hours everyday to learn and perfect a skill. Any skill. It could be tailoring, carpentry,motor mechanics, baking or programming. Everything is online now. Anything you actually like and enjoy. Make sure your emergency fund can keep you for at least 6 months WITHOUT ANY INCOME. Meanwhile, after your first 5 clients for whatever trade you learned, have paid in full for your services, you can now quit. Now, you will put that money you saved in a short term money market. Less than 12 months is short term. You will now attempt to live off only the money from your new trade. You can either use the money you saved from work to expand your trade (buy machines and tools or utensils). Or you start a post grad/professional exam. Upgrade your CV and keep looking. Since you have a source of livelihood now, you will be picky about the types of jobs you apply for. You can even decide to stay in your new trade. You may find out that you no longer want to work for someone else.
Poster,you didn't really elaborate on this your chronicle. Please try and take some time off. You need a vacation and try not to let things said or done by people get to you.
ReplyDeletePoster, what I do most times when people hurt me is look for an excuse for them. No matter what they tell you just ignoreand do the right thing. Its simple that when you work hard, God will surely pay you well. I use to complain a lot about my job, how the pay is small and the effort I put in is more, but recently I realized that complains will not help. God is watching and soon, a better one will come.. Remember alot of people are out there looking for where to fix them selves. For now, take a break off that environment, and relax will. Am sure when you come back, you will be refreshed.
ReplyDeleteWe plenty weh need this advice.how am I gonna turn deaf ears and develop tough skin to what people say to me.it makes me walk around so angry and bitter and eventually recline into my own shell.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm,I just resigned from that kind of job oo and I'm happy ive found inner peace.That job was killing me emotionally,no respect for anyone,physical nko?I was becoming older than my age...I had d intention of working till December there but for where? After dey shared Oct 1 gift,I ran oo,I know they will pay me for September.And since I left,God has bn faithful cause I have a handwork.
ReplyDeletePoster, the work place in it's self is a battle field. People would want to use any means to put you down. My work place is so evil, that my so-called colleagues will be laughing with you but behind your back they are a plotting
ReplyDelete/scheming and ganging up against you with coworkers and even making your supervisors see you in a bad light. What I have observed is that there is a lot of office politics that goes in every work setting.
It so unfortunate that its not the person that works hardest that gets appreciated but rather the person that does eye service i.e, such persons would be offering unsolicited help to the supervisors/ being annoyingly nice etc and they don't work half of the work you do on a daily. You should even be careful what you tell your team members because there is always a Judas amongst them, there is no genuine friendship at work its survival of the fittest. So what I would say is continue working the way you do but also learn to be political in the work place, that's the only way to survive.