For the Men and Ladies,how long do you think an engagement should last before the wedding holds?An Engagement means ''Hey wait for me I will marry you as soon as i can'' and for some the waiting is not long at all....I have read somewhere a lady says she was engaged for 8 years and ended up not marrying him because she got tired of waiting ...
She became a baby mama whilst waiting...
For the Ladies,how long will you wear the engagement ring before the wedding?What do you think is the ideal length of time to be engaged?
For the men,how long do you think is proper to keep a woman waiting before she marries you?
The phrase ''Lord of the Rings'' is coined from wearing a ring for too long....
Are you currently a Lord of the rings?For how long now?
Got an engagement story?Any reason why the engagement should last longer than expected?
Is there any use getting engaged?Why not just propose when you are ready and begin to plan the wedding?
Max should be 3month
ReplyDeleteA man should be ready for marriage in the next 1year before proposing.
DeleteGiving a woman ring and not starting wedding plans 3months after if everything is working fine is wickedness.
If a man gives you ring and he's not talking wedding after 3months please return it and enter market.
Started dating August,got engaged May,got married November. There was no time to waste.
6 months tops a year isn’t also bad
DeleteThe worst thing you can do to yourself as a humanbeing is place yourself on people's timeline!
DeleteThere are no rules to all these.
Follow your own plan and spirit.
Let God guide you.
Someone might engage you and hit a bit of rough time; may want to hold on. Doesn't mean they intentionally want to keep you waiting.
Always remember that after wedding comes marriage. If you follow people's rules and leave your happiness behind; well hope you are good with pretence because you may have to do that with the new man for the rest of your life.
What am i saying? Enough of all these marriage glorification like that's the only thing women are in this world for.
Make me a post where we discuss about women heading organisations, making great impacts in their community, seeking for government positions etc then you have my attention
But you see all these posts that will send one gullible girl to bed in tears or to one nonsense pastor/baba/alfa... I will pass!!!
#next...
Respect raised to 100.shocked people like you still exist.. We are of the same like mind hence my comment .Stella should celebrate women pushing hard to make it in the world , both in politics, government, organisation and in their community . That way they will be celebrated.
DeleteAnon 17:52 where is the like button to this your comment?
DeleteWell said. I'm so fed up of this obsession women have with all things men. You can hang with a group of women up to 10 times and not know what they do, what they're goals and aspirations are but you'll surely know about their relationships and desires to marry.
DeleteWaooooo anno u hit it
Delete😘😘😘😘😘😘
Oya, make una Nack us gist abeegi
ReplyDeleteLord of the rings indeed. O ri egwu!!!
ReplyDeleteDating/courtship lasted for 2 years before we finally tied the knot.
ReplyDeleteI know someone that just dated for 5 months before getting married.
No engangement stories. I'll read comments
ReplyDeleteFor me I will get married to the woman I will engaged three months or less after proposing. Before proposing I should be ready and prepared for a wedding in the next three months. Long engagement is a NO for me.
ReplyDelete"I will engaged?"
DeleteAbeg TeeJay, ENGAGE today.
Abi teejay
DeleteYes ooh GnM. Happy Sunday dear.
DeleteSo you think until village people extend it for you.
DeleteYes Ezege...3months max.
DeleteGot engaged end of the year, wedded in July.
DeleteMe I been wait for four years but when love dey involved, e dey pass quickly. He no even get ring when he proposed and I like am like dat.
ReplyDeleteAs for a lot of Naija babes, as long as the man dey 'abroad", them no dey mind -them fit wear engagement ring for 30 years, pikin them don enter university. The abroad man go marry oyinbo get papers, dey send dollars for the mama of the ring wey dey Naija. The guyman dey fork both holes na. Whosai, he no go dey in a hurry to do anything. You no fit force horse make im play band na.
The issue is that a lot of girls pay more attention to frivolities; which kind of ring did the guy give? etc. A man can give you a costly ring but never give you his heart. You are engaged to yourself. If ladies will pay more attention to the characters that any prospective husband displays, all the sob stories will reduce. Most pay attention to just money and nothing else. They prepare for wedding but not for marriage.
Delete"Anonymous Naija Girls" (ANG).I see you live and direct. Well done
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI got engaged without a ring. Proposal and marriage was 6month. My younger sis got the ring,but the marriage did not happen.
DeleteThree months after I engage my angel
ReplyDeleteThen you divorce the engagement?
DeleteWe are in the same category bro.
DeleteGbam
Delete@Sealord
DeleteNa so sea things dey be. By the time you divorce the girl, you for don fork every hole taya!
Bad bad things.
A year for me is perfect although mine took a couple of years coz of family ish but last last e happen
ReplyDeleteI feel before a guy propose to a lady he should be ready to settle down, no giving a lady ring to wait for you, she cannot be with another man, yet you keep her for years. If you are not ready to wife a woman within six months why propose?
ReplyDeleteI had a colleague who got the ring before the guy traveled for his masters, he spent fours years before he returned back, he came back they could not do the wedding, they stayed for another three years, my colleague got tired, she almost gave up,it was beg and preaching that the finally got married this year January.
I cannot wait that long, instead I will return back your ring and face my life, my ex husband propose and within six months we were already married, thou we are not together anymore. Marriage is luck, marriage is for the brave, marriage is good but proposing for so many years it make the stuff uninteresting, do not propose to someone’s daughter for so many years, propose once you are finically, emotionally and physically ready.
Dyu know what I picked from ur story? It isn't how fast but how well.
DeleteSome would yab people with long engagements and call them lord of the rings but they may last even longer in their marriage than those that got married sooner.
Basically, people have to consider if they are really ready before plunging into such.
Short engagement oh, long engagement oh, na God go help us all with this institution called marriage.
Sorry about the loss of ur marriage, I have a good friend currently going through a divorce and I've come to understand how emotionally tiring and exhausting it is
Pls explain the physical part... i understand the financially & emotionally part.
DeleteCould it be that you rushed your ex's engagement without studying his character and it rubbed off on the short-lived marriage?
DeleteRush in, rush out..
DeleteI did not rush the guy for marriage, he was the one rushing, I walk away cos I could not take cheating, I cannot pretend to be suffering and smiling, he was taking good care of me finically, sexually, emotionally, I did not want to waste my whole life being unhappy just in the name of marriage.
DeleteDuring out courtship and relationship he never gave me any sign of cheating, wait till you are there @ Don before you can judge me with those words rush in and out. Marriage is luck, my elder sister met and married her husband within three months, they have been married for 16 years yet no issues, I know someone who dated and married her husband after 10 years and yet today they are separated, is not how long oh is how well. Me personally I do not like wearing ring for so long, that does not mean I was in a rush nope it was just my personal decision not to be wearing ring forever.
In all your decisions and luck matters.
Success in marriage is not necessarily in how long you stay in the marriage. The best things that can happen to any married person are the discoveries they make about themselves and the adjustments they make to their character. Some find themselves and realise the person is not for them. Others may stay wishing and praying for another human being to change.
DeleteI got married 6months after engagement
ReplyDeleteInfact,hubby wanted it more earlier
Can't forget that day
"more [sic.] earlier?"
Deleteabeg ooo, auto-correct no dey add "more"
the EARLIER you get am, e go better.
Otherwise, pidgin still dey free of charge.
Even google recognize am well well.
I think there are a lot of factors to be considered.
ReplyDeleteIt's mostly after engagement that thoughts of wedding will probably come up. Like how elaborate or how small u want the wedding to be.
Then u have to plan towards it in such a way that you won't have to owe anyone or borrow to do what u want.
As for me and like most people with 'abroad' fiance, we will probably be wearing the ring for a while. I know I am.
I don't think there's generally any rule on how long one can wear her engagement ring. So many factors will help u decide
My friend hot married 8months after engagement, another one, a year plus, another one after 10yrs of dating and 4months engagement.
The only question that came to my mind is Why's it that engaged guys don't get to wear ring like we as a sign they are engaged???? Why only us?
Truth is while courting,you guys are supposed to talk about everything. Kind of wedding you want,number of children. Your plans and all. So when the proposal finally comes,you are mentally ready,and no what you are getting into. Courting should not be all about grilling or oiling your engines. Take time to no each other well. Me i tried my husband well,i provoked him to see if he would ever raise hand to hit me in the midst of anger. But on those sevarl occasions,he walked away from me and gave me my space. We have been married now for 12yrs +,and he still walks away when i start my madness. Na me go still beg am to come back room.
DeleteWell most questions as to how elaborate or small your wedding should be are discussed while in the relationship even before proposal. Depending on how bonded you and your partner is.
DeleteWell. I pray to wear mine for 6months maximum. Abroad boo can do the necessity as we await my papers
We did talk about things like that but not extensively. I actually thought I wanted a small wedding and that was what we discussed but after engagement, plans changed oh.
DeleteThe talks of a not so small affair came up and honestly, I don't mind. Wedding is a one time affair (by God's grace), so why not go as far as you can go?
Will be wearing mine for 12months and I will just enjoy wearing this before doubling it.
A course mate of mine just announced on our class WhatsApp group that her engagement is over. According to her, We all knew when The guy proposed and we all shared in the joy of the news and that now that it's over she wants us to know and that we shouldn't d.m her or tell her sorry. I felt a bit bad for her though but life goes on
ReplyDeleteA broken engaged is better than a broken marriage my dear. It's well with her
DeleteGM a broken whatttt? 😂😂😂😂
Delete"broken engaged?"
DeleteYes, a BROKEN ENGAGEMENT is better than a broken marriage. But a well planned marriage won't get broken.
Good she let you all know about her broken engagement. Another one will come knocking on her door soon...
DeleteLife goes on.
...But a well planned marriage won't get broken. Some of you here are really inexperienced. It is obvious you are not married. Don't you hear marriages of 30years breaking. You want to tell me it wasn't a well planned marriage....I hear you. Wait till you marry. Marriage is by luck you hear. No one can guarantee that his or her marriage will last forever. It takes two people constantly making efforts to make the marriage work because love/Marriage is a lot of work.
DeleteYou are right, I said it up there marriage is luck not how well you planned it or how long you got the ring, marriage is not child’s play, if your own is working just shut up and thank God, do not compare your marriage with another person’s own, marriage is by luck period.
DeleteI got engaged without d ring two years now and of course I wish I got a ring sometimes. Hes a nice not too handsome guy we plan paying d bride price next year and dig d hole (Virgin bride).
ReplyDeleteSometimes I
Two years engagement u say? Without ring sef my dear pray and fast or better still break it. Even aboki ring him for manage buy am na.
DeleteYimu.
DeleteYou fit get diamond ring and wear am for donkey's years. Check his character and work ethics, if they fit in, look forward to a happy married life and plan for it. Got engaged without ring and I'm married for more than a decade and with kids. No issues with him.
Delete@14:50
DeleteNa so ya brain come finish? Some give rings to reserve forking space and a lot of girls fall for it.
Keep it like that, if that's how you want and like it.
DeleteRing will come and you go wear tire.
The main one that caught my eyes was “we plan paying the brideprice next year”. Hmmm, I know engagement ring doesn’t guarantee a good or lasting marriage but this your own seems to get as e be. Something seems very fishy. So he engaged you albeit without a ring for TWO whole years and now you’re BOTH planning to pay YOUR brideprice in another year - making 3 years. On top of everything, you’ll also be paying part of your brideprice? Choi! Abeg shine eyes very very well o to avoid chronicles.
DeleteAnon 16:28 so you don't know partners use the term"We"? We are planning on this and that or we are pregnant and besides next year can be January or February
Delete*just passing by* 💃
ReplyDeleteSingles,take a 🤳
I was never team long courtship and dating, God granted my heart desires as such Met hubby mid sept got engaged Oct got traditionally married DEC and its been blissful ever since
ReplyDeleteSo I must say each couple has the way their relationship goes long or short courtship love is what matters in the end
My stand on this is, after engagement, the wedding ceremony should follow immediately! I don't like the idea of wearing engagement ring forever.
ReplyDeleteI am more of conservative and traditional when it comes to this stuff. I believe more in the marriage than in the ceremony.
To me, the ceremony is more about legalizing the marriage and watering the mouths of family, friends and well wishers.
I believe more in the marriage proper and I don't care about the rings and aso-ebi's.
Life is more than that mehn....
I remember my elder sister's friend that waited for twelve years carrying her engagement ring around and letting who cares to listen know that she's engaged and that her fiancé was in the abroad. The bad guy came back to Nigeria with one smallie and hosted a "state wedding " for her.
My sister's friend almost ran mad, but for God's grace. She was lucky another guy came knocking on her door and she opened. Anyways, she got married too and lived happily with her Nigerian based husband.
Friends for 5 years.
ReplyDeleteDated for 4 months.
Got engaged for 3 months
.....then got married.
Won't get hooked up if we're not ready. Happy Sunday.
my friend was engaged for 4 years and they later broke up, in that 4 years good guys kept coming for her but she turned them down only for uncle to later start misbehaving. For me I think the maximum I can wear an engagement ring is 12 months , I even prefer not engaging me rather when you are ready We will settle down. I always tease my sister because her hubby never proposed ,he just woke up one day and said I want to come with my people to see you father, no ring ,no kneeling down.
ReplyDeleteYour sister's hubby is my kind of man. The real VIP. My type, not all these imposters we see on bended knees forming whitee on top oshere matters.
DeleteThat's how it should be tho. Straight no chaser. No silly public proposals. No film tricks. No speech. No long tin.
DeleteIt is the village people of women that came up with that word. Me I no dey collect ring and I've been offered two in the past. Wetin I sabi na betrothal. The day your family escorts you to my papa house to declare intention. Na dat day we engage becos you must collect date for final marriage rites dat day. My papa no dey give pass 30 days. If you no show that day, I don enter market again be dat. No long thing. I no send ring and certificate. Na to come pay bride price make dem video us and snap us be koko. If I dey date you and you no mention introduction within three months, I go ask you how far. If your answer no convince my HR department, you don collect sack letter be dat. No time to dey give cow codeine. Butter no be for monkey.
ReplyDeleteAt last, two comments wey make sense follow body.
DeleteYour name na offpoint but your ideology is very on-point.
Started dating 1st May, started talking marriage in July engaged in August after going to my village for knocking/date collection/met his Mama :) . In fact, I picked my ring same day( I'm the fussy type, I like what I like) so from my villa to his and he slid my ring in his room at the village. September trad, court wedding, Oct 1st same year wedding!
ReplyDeleteLet's just say I got it good!!!
Anonymous 14:21. What is the difference between you who has been wearing a ring for 4years and those who are engaged to the abroad guys. You are gradually getting there. Before you know it, it is 30 years you still dey wear that ring. Stupid individual. Kettle calling stove black.
ReplyDeleteBefore any engagement, both male and female should bear in mind that the marriage should take place within six months
ReplyDeleteI honestly feel that engagement shouldn't be long. When it's too long, the relationship gets boring and tiring. As for me, I desire a short engagement .
ReplyDeleteSocialmediaawardsng
To vote @stelladimokokorkus as BLOGGER OF THE YEAR
Text sma18 stella to 33352
If the relationship gets boring and tiring how den will marriage be?no be same ring
DeleteFor mine, there was no engagement ring, hubby had always said he would marry me.
ReplyDeleteWe were together through our 4 years in the university, served and returned. Enrolled for our Masters, got married after our coursework.
There was no official engagement ring, dinner and all the hullabaloo.
It's been 13 months now and our cute baby gal, we are still going strong by His grace.
Ring or no ring, the type of man matters.
The wedding ring set has an engagement ring so nothing much.
Bobo will have to be patient with me to be FULLY ready before we tie the knot. But a year is okay for me to get my acts together. Even if he is ready few months after proposing to me, I must make my own plans to have my own source of income (work/business) in his own base because we currently live in different states. This may be the main delay for now because I wasn't expecting the ring when I got it.
ReplyDeleteMy parents wont even let me wear a ring that long. Ehn??! Ms. A you say what??! 12 years??? Who the guy be?? Before now, i would ask where the lady's family is. But I'vee come to understand that families are different and some children are stubborn.
ReplyDeleteAnyhoo, when my ex was hinting at engagement i told him that if he cant plan a wedding within 3 months, he should shift very far cos my parents dont take rubbish and they make it very clear. He thought I was just talking, until he met my mum and she told him straight up by herself. He called me that day after the family visit, trying to minimize his fright and I laughed my head off. My mum and elder sister's MIL were home that day. They scanned him and shook him up abit. Infact, when I heard my inlaw was around that weekend i knew it was over for him. That one na brit, she's as orderly as a battle formation. I told him he hasnt even met my dad yet and he's quaking, cos my dad can request for the ring and take it back to his family house the day he's done. My dad did for my eldest sister when that her monster-in-law was throwing tantrums and delaying the wedding. My inlaw had to come and prostrate with his extended family and my dad told them point blank that he is not looking for anyone to come and marry his daughter. So he gives them 3months to conclude or they should come and take their wine and ring. The wedding held within two months and the yeye woman still didnt show up.
Stella, please can we have in-house-gist for pre-wedding family (and associated drama)? I promise to have my comments pre-typed 🤣🤣🤣
Me and hubby dated for six years bcos we were in school then. After school he told me he is coming with his family for introduction and wedding date was fixed.no engagement at all or engagement ring and we have been married for long now.so what works for one necessarily might not work for another.
ReplyDeleteRing tradition should be outdated. Its just a means for jewellers to cash in on the entire world's marriages. signing the doted line and possibly creating something symbolic for your union should be more admirable than the ring culture.
ReplyDeleteMy very good friend dated this guy for 4yrs and dey got engaged, he came to do introduction and for two years he was not saying anything about marriage. D gal and her family started asking him how far na?its taking time. D guy called d gal one day and said he no do again? Y?he said dey r mounting pressure on him and he doesn't like it.not knowing d idiot was already seeing another gal.this is a guy this friend of mine sacrificed all for,financially and everything.to think he has d gal to abort this month and next month he broke up with her.Ladies pls b wise.
ReplyDeleteWhy sacrifice anything at all for a man? Your good friend was not wise at all.
DeleteMe nd hubby just knew each other for 3 months dated for 6 months nd then got married.its been 16month now since our wedding and 2 years and a month of knowing each other and we are still so much in love
ReplyDeleteGot married within a month of getting the ring. A very small and quiet affair. Exactly 54 people were invited for our dinner and they all showed up.
ReplyDeleteWhy the hell are people still getting married?
ReplyDeleteI like how stand out your comment is.
DeletePeople will keep getting married till thy kingdom come so get used to it.
DeleteMaximum 1year make person no turn to Lord of the ring
ReplyDelete